21+

Girl with a uniform fetish who is turned on by all things and concepts an equal amount

Gang of whimsypunks saw me dumpster diving in the alley behind the marble store. Cornered me. The lankiest one started coming at me with a paintbrush. Couldn't have been older than 30. Just a kid. Watched the light leave their smiley contact lenses after unleashing my sub-2-second Bill drill. If they got within 7 yards and thought to sprint, I'd be done for. Perfect El Presidente on the ones that were running. Couldn't let them report back to the rest of the "polycute." I know how they operate. You get marked as a "grumpy gus" and one night you wake up with hundreds of burning sparklers in the shape of a butterfly on your lawn. Not me. Not again. What is the world coming to? Oh god. Oh, god.

the word 'swim' is doing a lot of heavy work here

Not half as much as the audio is

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

The 8hr work day / 40hr work week is an infringement on our right to be human on earth