sardonic humor

Pairing: Archie x Reader

Word count: 1,950ish but feel free to add more

A/N: if you didn’t see my post about my inactivity but I won’t writing imagines on this blog anymore. however, i’m posting all of my incomplete imagines and i would love it if you all would reblog them and add on how you think the imagines should continue and end. i’ll be reblogging every addition that i see :)

New to town with a made up name in the Angel city, chasing fortune and fame And the camera flashes, make it look like a dream

Unlike most kids in Riverdale, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) dreamed of bigger things she could do with her life, greater achievements she could accomplish outside of her small hometown.

Life in Riverdale wasn’t bad; she had her friends: Betty, Archie, and Jughead.  The four of them were known as the four musketeers, always stumbling around the quiet streets with barking laughter.  

The ten year olds made a home in Pop’s diner, their regular booth being touched by no one but themselves.

But even with her strong bonds of friendship, (Y/N) grew restless with her head full of dreams. Riverdale was too small of a town for her to go anywhere far in life, and that was exactly what she wanted to do.

“Do you think we’ll all grow old together?” Betty asked the table one night.  “Maybe we’ll be like our parents: we’ll go to school together, marry each other, and have kids that are best friends with each other.”

“Well then who are you gonna marry, Betty?” Archie inquired with a smirk.  “Me or Jughead?”

“How do you know she doesn’t want to marry (Y/N)?” Jughead interjected, withholding his laughter at the transition of Archie’s facial expression from confidence to shock. Jughead turned to (Y/N), who had been wistfully staring out the window in silence during the conversation, “What do you think, (Y/N)?”

“Hmm?” she hummed, turning to face her friends.  She bit her lip, not wanting to talk about her opposing life plans.  “Oh yeah, I’ll be here.”

You had it figured out since you were in school Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool So overnight you look like a sixties’ queen

Every year at Riverdale Elementary, the fourth graders did a project on what they wanted to be when they grew up.  They had to brainstorm ideas of what they wanted to be and then research some requirements for said profession.  At the end of the month, each student would present their project to the class.

“I want to join my dad’s construction company,” Archie announced during his presentation.  “He told me that when I’m older, I can spend the summer helping him, and that one day I can even own the company!”  He decided to not talk about the other ideas he had about what he wanted to be when he grew up.  Being a construction worker was good enough for him.

“I want to be a journalist, just like my mom and dad,” Betty informed the class.  “I would help them with their articles and eventually write my own.”

“A writer,” Jughead declared as soon as he stood up, not even allowing himself enough time to reach the front of the classroom.  “I want to be a writer when I grow up.  Not a journalist like Betty, though.  I want to write my own stories and publish books.”

When (Y/N) did her presentation, she hesitated.  She spent all her time researching what it took to become an actress, but as she stood in front of all of her friends whose plans let them stay in Riverdale, she grew unsure of herself.

“I-” she paused, giving herself one last chance to change her mind.  “I want to be an actress.  But I don’t want to wait until I’m grown up to become one.  When I did my research, I saw that a lot of famous actors started when they were little.”

“There aren’t many movies created here in Riverdale,” the teacher commented.

(Y/N) shrugged.  “Then I guess I’ll have to go find movie makers somewhere else.”  She ignored Archie, Betty, and Jughead’s stunned faces as she sat down.

Another name goes up in lights, like diamonds in the sky

A few weeks later, (Y/N)’s dad announced to the (Y/L/N) family that they were moving to Hollywood, which would allow (Y/N) to pursue her dreams of becoming an actress.  Her excitement only lasted for a few moments before she realized that she would have to leave her friends.

“Archie!”  She stood on his doorstep, waiting for him to open the door.

“(Y/N)?” he questioned, opening the door.  “What are you doing here?  It’s late.”

“I need to tell you something,” she said, rocking back and forth on her feet.  “I…” she trailed off, the guilt causing her throat to close up.

“You what?”

“I’m moving,” she blurted out.

“To a new house?” he asked, not grasping the severity of her statement.

“To Hollywood,” she corrected him, sadly watching as his expression deflated.

“Why aren’t you telling Betty and Jughead?” he questioned.

“I wanted to tell you first, Archie.  You’re my best friend.”

“Betty and Jughead aren’t your best friends too?”

“They are…” (Y/N) shrugged, digging her heel into the ground, “but you’re my best friend.”  Archie sadly nodded.

“You’re my best friend too, (Y/N).”  He enveloped her in a hug, and she wrapped her arms around his neck as she buried her face in his t-shirt, trying to memorize that feeling.

And they’ll tell you now, you’re the lucky one Yeah, they’ll tell you now, you’re the lucky one But can you tell me now, you’re the lucky one, oh, oh, oh

When (Y/N) landed her first role, the entire town of Riverdale went into a frenzy.  Everyone counted down the days until her movie would premiere.

Archie was confused about how he felt.  He didn’t know if he was happy or upset that (Y/N) played a part in a big move.  He knew it would result in her staying in Hollywood longer as she continued her career.  A small, selfish part of him always hoped that she would eventually give up and come back to Riverdale.

“(Y/N)’s movie comes out tomorrow!” Betty squealed as they sat in their booth, ignoring the one empty spot next to Archie.

“The Twilight Drive-In is gonna show it,” Jughead informed them.  “It’s gonna be so busy there.”

“All of Riverdale will go!” Betty exclaimed.  “The whole town is so excited for this.”  

When Archie continued to not respond, Betty and Jughead shared a puzzled look.

“Are you okay, Archie?” Jughead questioned, trying to make eye contact with his solemn friend.

“I’m fine.”  Archie shrugged.  “Just a bit tired.  I think I’m gonna go home early, get to sleep.  Gotta be wide awake to watch (Y/N)’s movie tomorrow.”

He exited the diner, leaving Betty and Jughead to continue their excited conversation over the movie.

Now it’s big black cars, and Riviera views, And your lover in the foyer doesn't even know you And your secrets end up splashed on the news front page

As predicted by Archie, (Y/N)’s role in her debut movie attracted other producers, allowing her more opportunities to audition for more parts.  Each movie she was in became a success, and soon (Y/N) was the poster child of young Hollywood actors.

Her busy filming schedule prevented her from ever returning to her hometown, no matter how much Mayor McCoy begged her to.

Even if she were able to return, (Y/N) knew it wouldn’t be because of the mayor. It would be because of her red-headed best friend.

As much as (Y/N) tried to keep in touch with her best friend, it became increasingly difficult with each new movie role she obtained.  Even when she found a spare moment to call Archie, he never answered. She always brushed it off as her calling at an inconvenient time.  (Y/N) never even considered the possibility that Archie stared at his phone screen as her name appeared before silencing its rings, not daring to pick up and hear her voice.

And they tell you that you’re lucky But you’re so confused, 'Cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used And all the young things line up to take your place

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” The reporters yelled from all around the red carpet, camera flashes going off every second. Through the chaos, (Y/N) maintained a smile.  By now, she was experienced with the hell of red carpets.

“(Y/N), do you have a boyfriend,” one reporter asked, holding a microphone out towards her. Her smile faltered for just a moment, but she quickly recovered.

“Oh, god no,” she answered with a light laugh.  “I mean I’m only fifteen, and so much is going on in my life right now.  I don’t know that anyone would want to deal with me right now.”

“So many boys are pining after you, (Y/N)!” the reporter exclaimed.  “It can’t be because of that.  Could it be because you already have someone?  A secret lover?”

(Y/N)’s mind immediately jumped to Archie. She hadn’t seen him in five years, so she could only picture his ten-year-old face.

“No,” she said after a moment of hesitation.  “No, I don’t have a secret lover.”

“You hesitated though,” the reported pointed out.  “Maybe it’s just a crush?”

She thought, again, of her red-headed best friend back in Riverdale.  He was the first person she told that she was moving, the only person that made her hesitate before leaving Riverdale.

“No,” (Y/N) shook her head with a bitter smile.  “No crushes here.”

Another name goes up in lights You wonder if you’ll make it out alive

“Another successful movie by (Y/N),” Jughead sighed, flopping into the booth.  Betty nudged him as she nodded her head towards Archie, who sat across from them.  “Sorry, Arch,” Jughead apologized.

Archie shook his head and didn’t respond.

“Are you guys angry about that?” Veronica questioned.  “I mean, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is an acting legend. Isn’t there some Riverdale pride here that this small town produced one of the hottest up-and-coming actresses in Hollywood?”

“We knew (Y/N),” Betty explained quietly, not taking her eyes off of Archie.

“Yeah, I’ve met her once, too,” Veronica said, not understanding the issue at hand.  “I met her at a club.”

“Veronica,” Betty reiterated, “we knew (Y/N).  She was one of our best friends.”

“Oh,” Veronica finally understood.  She glanced at Archie, who was picking at his French fries.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

Before she could finish, Archie got up and stormed out of the diner.

“(Y/N) was best friends with all of us,” Betty continued, slightly shaking her head, “but she and Archie were best friends.  Everyone always thought they’d get married.”

And they’ll tell you now, you’re the lucky one Yeah, they’ll tell you now, you’re the lucky one Can you tell me now, you’re the lucky one, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

As Archie continued his studies in high school, (Y/N) continued to act in movies and guest-star in TV shows.

When Archie became captain of the football team, (Y/N) was nominated for an Oscar.

Slowly but surely, both Archie and (Y/N) began to let go of each other, not daring to reminisce upon their childhood friendship.

(Y/N) stopped attempting to reach Archie, finally accepting that he was, in fact, ignoring her.  She went on dates with other actors and musicians that she met, only briefly thinking of the red-head back home.  Archie dated girls, such as Valerie and Veronica, and he only thought of his long-lost (Y/N) a few times.

It was a few years later, I showed up here And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared, How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out

After Archie graduated, he decided to stay in Riverdale to focus on his music. He could’ve gone to college, hell he could’ve moved to Nashville or LA or New York to be in a better environment to work on his music. But he saw what leaving did to (Y/N), and he knew that he didn’t want to go down that path. She was living her dream. And even if music was his dream, Archie did not want the fame that came with a successful music career.

He posted his songs on YouTube and left it at that. No promotions, no running around begging for record deals.

Anon requests: Hiya I love your writing, could you please write a jughead x reader where jughead finds out the reader smokes

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Warnings: smoking, allusions to addiction

Word count: 570 but feel free to add more

A/N: if you didn’t see my post about my inactivity, i won’t be posting anymore imagines on this blog. i’m posting all my incomplete imagines and i would absolutely love it if any of you wanted to reblog this and add your take on how this story will continue and end. i’m reblogging all additions that i see :)

It started with one. You only meant to do one.

But then you got another.

And before you could stop yourself, you held the cigarette between your teeth as you took the small flame that your lighter provided and lit it.  Every cigarette was another regret that weighed down your conscience.

You weren't addicted; it hadn't gone that far yet.  Your struggle was bringing yourself to care enough about your own health to stop.

You knew that you could not keep this issue hidden from your friends forever, so you swore to yourself that you'd quit before anyone found out.

You didn't expect for Jughead to be so nosy.

He always had too much curiosity for his own good, and he didn't have enough common sense to resist that curiosity.

For weeks, he had been noticing how you would randomly leave in the middle of hanging out with him or Archie, Betty, Kevin, or Veronica.  At first, he brushed it off as nothing.  But when it continued to occur, Jughead initiated his investigation. Although he usually included Betty in his sleuthing adventures, Jughead decided he needed to do this on his own.

He began to follow you.

When it was just you and him sitting together at Pop's, and you claimed you had to go to the bathroom, Jughead waited a few moments before following you.  He watched as you walked straight past the bathrooms and went through the back exit.  He hovered by the door as you pulled your pack of cigarettes and lighter out of your pocket.  You cautiously scanned the area, paranoid that someone was watching you.  Jughead ducked back into the diner for a moment to avoid your gaze.  After a minute, he peeped his head back out to see you raising the lighter towards your cigarette that already rested between your teeth.

"(Y/N)," he called out, fully stepping out of the doorway.

Your jaw unhinged, dropping the cigarette that was in your mouth.

"Jughead?" you questioned, flicking your lighter shut and stuffing it in your pocket. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Jughead took an intimidating step towards you.

"It didn't look like nothing," he countered your denial.

You breathed a sigh, knowing you were caught.  “Jughead, I can explain.”

“You better be able to,” he snapped, “because I just watched you grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of your pocket.”

“It’s not what it-”

“Are you really gonna use that line on me, (Y/N)?” Jughead interrupted you before you could formulate an excuse.  “You came out here to have a smoke. God, this must have been going on for so long, you couldn’t even last through dinner before coming out here.”

Now it was your turn to grow upset.  “Are you insinuating that I’m addicted?” you accused, taking a threatening step towards him. “Because I’m not, Jughead.”  You practically spat his name.  “I’m not addicted to these.”

“Really?”  Jughead crossed his arms as he raised his eyebrow at you.  “Prove it, then.  If you’re not addicted, then quit.”

“And why should I?”

“Because if you can’t do it, then I’ll have to assume that you’re addicted.  And if you’re addicted, it means you’ll need help, so I’ll have to tell Betty and Archie and Veronica and Kevin that you’re addicted to smoking, and then we’ll have an intervention.”

Anon requests: Hey!! I love love love your work!! I was wondering if you could do a jughead x reader where you're dating jughead in secret and he keeps sneaking in through your window to see you but one day you get caught cuddling?? Thank you so much!!! ❤

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Word count: 207 right now. feel free to add on

A/N: so if you didn’t see my post about my inactivity, I’m not going to write anymore imagines on this blog, but i have incomplete imagines that are just sitting on my computer that i feel guilty just keeping them to myself. please reblog and add on your take on how this story will continue and end. i’ll be reblogging all additions that i see :) 

You and Jughead had been best friends for as long as either of you could remember.  Within the ten years that you two knew each other, you and Jughead grew very comfortable with each other.  To any onlooker, it would appear as if you were dating Jughead. Betty, Archie, Veronica, and Kevin knew you two weren’t dating, but it didn’t stop them from secretly wishing you would.  The way Jughead always had his arm wrapped around your waist, or how you would always share your food with him, caused everyone around the two of you to constantly urge you to date each other.

The two of you usually spent the weekends at your house, lounging around all day.  Your parents thought of Jughead as their second child, so they always welcomed him.

So as you guys have probably noticed, I haven’t posted anything original in what? A year and a half? Maybe two years?

And for that I’m sorry, but in all honesty, I’ve kinda fallen off the Riverdale train. I’m just not very interested in it anymore. I don’t know what else to say.

Occasionally I check back in with this blog and see that I still get notes every day, and I’m still maintaining my follower count. That’s crazy to me. You guys mean the world to me. 

If anything, this blog was more of a way for me to find a creative outlet for my writing. Using fanfiction for that outlet helped me gain an audience, and I used the characters and basic plot outline of Riverdale to help me have a baseline for my stories. Ever Since New York was the peak of my creativity, where I strayed so far from Riverdale that basically all that I maintained was basic character traits and names. That’s the work I’m proudest of. Partially because of the writing and the story, partially because of how well-received it was.

I have two Jughead x reader requests that I started and never finished. I’m gonna post them, and you guys can feel free to reblog and add onto my stories. I’m just out of juice.

I’m still gonna check back in every now and then and keep an eye on my blog. I see when you guys reblog my stuff and get excited over my stories and even though I’ve distanced myself from this blog, it always means so much.