hello !

me, when literally anything happens: maybe it’s a sign 

England people are so funny they always be saying. I’m not bovered

I love it when I wake up and stretch and something cracks. Makes me feel like a glo-stick

this is honestly so insane like look how big she is and how high she gets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

noah fense but I love prompting girls to dump their boyfriends ladies if ur reading this DUMP HIM

me: beauty is fake and i will not let a made up concept like that affect my mood and general well being i am more than my physical appearance. i hold value as a person me 10 seconds later: my butt is the ugliest butt in the whole world i am undeserving of anything good and i wish i was dead

me explaining underwear to aliens: we have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants

Omfg

where do daytime animals go at night anyway,,ive never seen one,, the fear i would feel if i was outside after dark and a duck walked past me is indescribable 

How do y'all not get tired of being mad all the time?

me @ myself: heal faster bich!