jerking off to your memory

and now I can’t breathe the weight found me again, heavier than ever before

the crushing weight of confusion in what I seek, what I desire

what I wanted, to see old things in new ways

is it here? has it returned, or are these the ramblings of a madman in the making is this being present? then why do I feel so far away

just maybe, interest and desire have returned for a second but why do I feel so far away

far away in the past? turn me on because I’m better equipped to handle the weight

I smell teenage years, idealisms, and naïvety

in the realm of the senses, the physical realm I occupy hold on and go forward with whatever I choose to focus on

and in a moment I feel great; a rush of smell memories fill my skull in another, something changes - but stays the same

Never quite the person I want to be, but maybe now I’m detached but present

你問候我 我看著你的眼睛 我開了我的心給你 但看見只有空白 你掉轉頭走開

生活不是無謂， 如果你有受苦