prongsyourdaddy

1. FIRST OF ALL MY GIRL LILY EVANS NEVER ONCE THOUGHT ABOUT MARRYING SNAPE’S CREEPY ASS ANYWAYS. I MEAN, THEY MET BECAUSE HE WAS SPYING ON HER?! LIKE?!

2. Lily sticks up for Snape when he’s being bullied and he calls her a muddy bloody fucking fake ass witch because he doesn’t want to seem weak in front of his peers and Lily is rightfully mad about it, like, who tf has the audacity to tell Her that she’s got mud in her blood? Certainly not her longest childhood friend?! Oh wait. He did. (And there’s nothing but fire in her blood)

3. Snape had a choice the entire rest of his time at Hogwarts. He could:(a) prove Lily wrong and not join the Death Eaters gang so as to be a decent enough guy just need of a shower and some social skills OR (b) he could prove lily right and join the very society of beings bent on world domination of muggles and muggleborns.

4. If you didn’t read the books I am here to remind you that Snape picked (b)

5. How romantic.

6. That was sarcasm.

7. Lily Evans would’ve never married such a cowardly asshole because she values friendship and bravery and kindness.

8. The only thing Snape values is lack of hygiene, dark magic, & seeking revenge on his bullies.

9. I mean, come on y’all, Snape’s childish ass spent 20 years on the Bitterness Train (now seating Severus Snape: party of one) just because he fucked up and called his ‘best friend’ (I use that term loosely) a derogative word AND SHE CALLED HIM OUT ON HIS BULL.

10. And yet even after lily called Snape out he continued to make poor choices.

11. But I guess it’s okay to be a racist Piece of Shit to someone you care about and still expect them to want to marry you…

12. Just kidding.

13. You should run the minute ANY manipulative bastard says the words “I won’t let you—“ to your face

14. My advice would be to do what Lily Evans did and run away from the bastard as fast as you can—straight into the arms of the arch nemesis of your abuser.