Celeste

Thirty days.

Thirty days, you've been alone in this house.

It really shouldn't matter, considering that you're not at home most of the time. But on weekends and days off, you feel it. There's always a letter for you when you get home, and writing one to send back takes up a sizeable chunk of your evening, but you're still alone. Even with the packs of food Zhongli left for you, you spend so long cooking that you're violently reminded of his absence. I mean sure, you have the other adepti, but Cloud Retainer isn't much of a conversationalist, and Xiao can't look you in the eye without looking away with an embarrassed flush on his cheeks.

So you're alone. Well and truly.

You complained to Zhongli about that fact in a letter, and he'd told you that this would be his last long trip for a very long time. In another letter you suggested that he should teleport back every night, but he refused on account of drawing suspicion. All in all, it seemed that he had found himself in a very tricky situation, and all you could do was sit and watch.

But today was the last day. He'd be at the door any time now. All you had to do was wait. And wait.

And wait.

"We need a dog or something," you huff to yourself. With no requests for aid from anyone and an empty house, all there was left to do was clean. And you weren't going to do that. Instead you take to organising the wardrobes, reinforcing the boundary between your and Zhongli's clothes. You hadn't realised how much of his stuff had crawled into your end of it. But then again, that isn't entirely your fault. Zhongli does the laundry, and you swear sometimes he leaves as many of your clothes in the wash for as long as possible, just so he can see you traipse around in his shirts and nothing else.

You sing to yourself as you work, and albeit a lousy rendition of Yun Jin's opera, it serves to cheer you up a bit and keep your mind occupied. 

But then, the wardrobe is organised, and you find yourself at a loose end again. Back to reading over the letters. They seemed to get longer as the days drew closer to his return--he told you about how negotiations were heating up and he could finally see an end in sight. He suggested that maybe, if things kept up at that rate, he'd be home in twenty days, not thirty, but they hit a snag, and Zhongli was forced to stay for longer.

He promised he'd be home today--before sunset, were his words exactly. But now the sun is plunging from the sky and he's Still. Not. Home.

You've eaten, organised the wardrobes, written a letter back, but you haven't sent it since he'd be gone by the time it reached wherever he was. You only did it so it could take up your time. So there's nothing else for you to do but sleep. You drag yourself up to the couch, burying yourself in a bunch of pillows and a warm fleece blanket. Zhongli would scold you for this--he'd tell you that you'll get aches and pains and that you should go and sleep on a proper mattress, but he's not here. If he had gotten here when he said he would, he could have told you off. But he's not. Take that! You think to yourself. You're a late sleeper though, so you lie awake staring at the ceiling and the light fixtures.

You're embarrassed by yourself, sitting here, waiting for your husband to come back home. It's the exact kind of thing you sometimes criticise your friends for doing. (Your closest friend didn't eat or sleep for 3 days waiting for his boyfriend to come home. You told him that was silly, and he chuckled and said you should try it yourself.) Admittedly, you aren't as bad as him, but you can see how your words lacked tact at the time.

The sky darkens entirely, and you accept your new status as a widow begrudgingly. If Zhongli isn't home, then that means he's dead. There's no other reason he'd be this late. You drift to sleep finally, telling yourself that you're just being silly, and he's going to be back any moment now.

"yn, I'm home," Zhongli calls out. You don't hear him, snoring softly. He puts his bags down at the door, kicking it shut behind him. "Love?"

He walks into the living room, finding you sprawled out on the sofa with half of your hair in your mouth. He chuckles to himself. "I'm sorry I'm so late," he says again, gently removing your hair before you eat it. You smile and roll towards him. He kisses you lightly. "I've missed you."

You smile blissfully, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I've missed you more." Your eyes are still firmly shut, and Zhongli can't tell if you're awake or if you think you're dreaming. "What took you so long?" Tears begin to seep out of your eyes, and Zhongli frowns. He'd stopped to pick up your favourite meal from a restaurant, but they were so ridiculously busy that they weren't even accepting express orders. Maybe he should have given up at that point, but since he was already a little late, he figured he'd rather have something to show for it.

"I'm sorry, yn," he whispers, kissing your forehead.

"You know, for a dream, you feel really real," you mutter. Zhongli laughs then, undecided as to whether he should wake you up or let you sleep some more. "I wish my real mate would come home. I miss him."

"Come on," he chuckles, gently pulling you upright. "I dread to think about how many nights you've slept on this. You're going to cause your body some serious damage,"

You sit bolt upright at that, rubbing your eyes. Zhongli is seated before you, smiling indulgently. You look so entirely shocked that he's here and he's real that Zhongli can't help but laugh at you. You're so precious. Your blanket falls off you, and he isn't surprised to see you're wearing one of his shirts. In fact, he had bet on the fact that you wouldn't touch the laundry until he came home.

"I'll take that to mean you've spent every night here,"

You ignore his comment, reaching for him. "I thought you'd died," you sob into his shoulder. "I thought you weren't coming back."

"If I'd known your mind would have jumped to such extremes, I wouldn't have picked up some food for you. I'm very sorry." He strokes your hair lightly, rocking you to and fro to try and calm you down. He knows his death wasn't a big concern for you, in fact, it was probably just a passing thought. He reckons you're crying out of relief. You sniffle against him, taking soft, shuddering breaths."I'm here now, love. I won't leave again. Not like this. I promise."

You pull back to look at him, tears shining in your eyes. "Is that a contract promise or a normal promise?"

"I can make it a contract promise if that will satisfy you," he says softly. "I'll do anything to make my wife happy." He gently strokes a tear off your cheeks, cupping your face in his hands.

"I've missed you so much," you whisper. "So, so much."

Zhongli chuckles. "Imagine what your friend would say if he saw you now,"

"Lachlan?" You ask. He would laugh at you if he saw this--harder than he laughed when you told him you were married. "I'm much better than him. A whole month without you..."

You bury yourself back into his shoulder, and Zhongli slips his hands under your shirt, rubbing your back. His hands are warm, and you sigh contentedly. "It made me wonder what I'd been doing with the rest of my life before you," He says softly. "I don't ever wish to do anything like that again. I missed you terribly."

You chuckle. At least you weren't being dramatic. You run your hands through his hair, and kiss his lips lightly. 

"So, in the midst of my despair, I was thinking..." You start. Zhongli hums, kneading gentle circles into your back as he rests his head on your shoulder.

You've always been very vocal about things people do that they pretend are for their benefit, but are actually power plays to show the rest of the world how well they're doing. Namely, useless degrees in the Akedemiya, (You once met someone who had a degree in rockology. When you told Zhongli, he laughed and said he wouldn't teach a rockology class, because by simply opening his mouth, he would already be speaking at a level higher than most of the class's comprehension. You said he was harsh, but true.) massive houses that you spend most of your life cleaning, (your house was the only exception to the rule, since the only beings around were adepti, and they truly didn't care enough about you to pass judgement, for better or for worse) and finally marriage.

You were very against marriage. Or at least the silly kind you often encountered in Teyvat--people were married, but barely even knew each other's names. They just got a kick out of saying 'my wife' or 'my partner' and it irked you. You were essentially married to an Archon, but did you scream it off the rooftops? Technically, you screamed it off the mountains, but that was more Zhongli's fault than yours.

But Zhongli, being the most annoyingly perfect man on Teyvatseems to see right through your act. It wasn't that you didn't want to be married. You just didn't want to be caught in the kind that made you feel suffocated. Some nights, when Zhongli was fast asleep and you found your thoughts drifting, you wondered whether you'd really want to be married to him. You concluded that you essentially acted like a married couple anyway, so it would just be an excuse for you to wear a pretty dress, which again, you weren't too bothered for or against. You wouldn't reject it if it were ever to happen, but you wouldn't actively chase it either.

Or at least, that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, instead of getting your hopes up. Over the past week or so, Zhongli has been banging on about doing things the ‘human’ way. That involves actually walking to places instead of letting you teleport, carrying your own groceries home instead of letting him teleport them home…It seems Zhongli views teleporting things as inherently unhuman, despite the fact that you spend your time teleporting across Teyvat. You’ve kept that particular commentary to yourself.

He keeps taking you on lavish, expensive dates—that you thoroughly enjoy—but always to remind you that you’d rather be at home with him, quietly reading a book together.

So today, you decide that even though it’s going to sound rude, you’ll tell him that you’d much rather be at home with him. That is, you’ll tell him after you’ve devoured your food.

“Are you alright, yn? You’re eating much slower than usual.” Zhongli says to you, nudging you slightly under the table. He never sits opposite you, always next to you, as if you being on the other side of the table is too far away from him.

“Hm?” You look up from your plate. “I’m alright. Are you?”

“I’m also alright,” he chuckles. “You’re being really quiet. Have I done something to offend you?”

You feel your eyes widen. You hadn’t realised that you’d been showing your emotions on your face so clearly. “No, not at all!” You protest. “Actually, if anything, you’ve done the opposite. All these dates, and the good food… I’ve really enjoyed it. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome,” Zhongli smiles. He was worried he’d come off as too overbearing or creepy by being so frivolous with his spending with you. But the god of mora could always make more(a), so he didn’t see the need to be so frugal with his cash. He was beginning to worry that you would grow to dislike the quiet nights at home.

“But I have to ask,” You twist the ring Zhongli gave you. Today, like some other days, he’s gifted you a new outfit to wear. You try to not take it to mean that he doesn’t like the rest of the clothes in your wardrobe. He wasn’t often one to add jewellery, and when you started to look at it more closely, he finally finished dressing and you made your way to the restaurant, so you didn't get to have a good enough look. “What’s going on with these dates? I enjoy them, don’t get me wrong, but I miss our quiet nights at home.”

“That’s because you’re in heat again, aren’t you, love?” Zhongli jokes.

“You squeal in shock, glancing quickly around the room. “You shouldn’t say things like that in public. I am not in heat.” You hiss quietly. He chuckles, taking your hand in his. "I don't go into heat. I don't have the biological facilities for that."

“In all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised if you did, and just didn't know it," he smiles. "As for the dates, I thought that you’d maybe miss the more normal aspects of being in a relationship. I suppose I overdid it though.” He sighs. “I just don’t want you to resent me for being so unconventional.”

You can’t help it. You laugh. “Li, when have I ever wanted anything conventional? All I’ve wanted is to be with you. I keep telling you, and you don’t listen. I don’t care about fanfare, okay? I care about us.”

“So you don’t mind being behind the rest of your friends?”

“Of course, I don’t. Sometimes, I wonder if we really have much in common anymore. All they ever want to do is talk about their husbands and the children they’re going to have and their scheduled—”

“You don’t want any of that?” Zhongli asks you.

“No, I think the whole scheduling thing is more headache than it’s worth.”

“I am not talking about that. You’re not interested in having a husband or kids?”

“Li,” you sigh, cupping his face lightly. “I don't care about the semantics, as long as it’s with you. I admit those aren't my priorities in life, but I don’t mind either way. Why do you look nauseous?” You’ve never seen Zhongli look so out of his element before. The only other time was when he first asked you to meet him.

“Because I feel nauseous,” Zhongli replies, chuckling softly. “I know being married isn’t very high up on your list of priorities, and I know you don’t care for it, but I’d like to do things the human traditional way, like you did for me. I’d like to afford you the same luxuries.”

To be completely honest, the whole dragon mate thing was the most lowkey tradition you’d ever experienced, and that made you pretty happy. But as much as you want to pretend like you have feelings for or against being married, the inner child who longed to be is squealing her head off.

“You want to get married?”

“Only if you do. It doesn’t have to be a ridiculously grand affair, it could even be solely the two of us,” Zhongli flushes. “I don’t want you to feel like I’ve deprived you of an experience you clearly want.”

“You’d marry me? Even if it were to change nothing about the way we live?”

“I see the way you stutter when you introduce me to your acquaintances. At least this way, you could say ‘my husband’ and not have to deal with the confused stares.” Zhongli smiles. “And I’d like your parents to feel secure in the fact that I’m not going to disappear.”

Now you start to tear up. You haven’t visited your parents in so long, whisked away by the demanding nature of your life as an adventurer-come-errand runner, but Zhongli is right. All they ever wanted for you was for you to be happy and secure. The fact he thought about your parents completely sways you. If there was ever a fragment of doubt in your mind about whether you’d refuse him or not, it’s shattered now.

“What do you say, love?” Zhongli asks, taking your hand and twisting your ring slightly. “Will you marry me? Would you let me stay by your side for the rest of my life?”

Now the tears are really falling, and you don’t want to draw attention to yourself, so you nod as vigorously as you can manage. “Of course I will,” you sniff.

Zhongli kisses your hand, and as he lowers it, a light catches your ring, and it suddenly dawns on you.

“You made me put on my own engagement ring?” You ask him, slapping his shoulder lightly. Of course, he would make you do all the work. He even left you to figure out the ring's significance by yourself!

“Well, I thought it was too pretty to go to waste if you didn’t accept my proposal. I didn’t want you to dislike it.”

You study the ring in more detail. It’s not like the normal engagement rings your friends flash at you, and you’re grateful for it. It’s marbled with gold and brown crystal, and topped with a shimmering Cor Lapis. It’s almost a ring version of Zhongli, and that makes you love it even more.

“So,” You smile. “What type of rock is the brown crystal?”

Zhongli clears his throat. “It’s not a crystal.” You tilt your head in confusion, and Zhongli explains further. “I have an adeptus friend who likes to collect things, not that he’d openly admit to it. He had a couple of my scales saved from before I had a vaguely humanoid form, so I called in a favour.”

Your jaw drops. “This is a piece of you?”

“Does that offend you?” Zhongli asks, quickly. “I can always get it changed.”

Even if it did, you’d never tell him that, not after he’d put all this effort into putting it together for you.

“No. Don't do that. I love it,” You smile. “I love you.”