probably petting a dog

I could never go to Australia because dingos look like normal dogs and I couldn’t trust myself not to try to pet them.

danger shiba inu

Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible

*imagines dinosaurs looking like, and doing, this nonsense*

I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation

i’m ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation

A girl I liked convinced me to stab a man, so I did. Felt guilty for a bit, then promptly forgot about it and walked around with the murder weapon for a couple of hours, going about my business, walking my dog. Eventually I was cornered by a plainclothes police officer who asked me why I had a bloody knife; I told him I was looking after it for my bogan cousin. He said, “You’re under arrest,” and I was like,, “No, I’m not, watch this,” and then I woke up.

that’s a goddamned power move

I think it’s also important to mention this happened at Cracker Barrel.

in a threesome with anxiety and depression

I almost scrolled passed this shit

this is the ultimate shoot ya shot pic. you can’t miss with pic. you know damn well Obama didn’t.

The second last one though