🧚‍♀️ dumb b 🧚‍♀️

Vulnerability is a privilege subjected to dynamic factors on a variant spectrum. It’s surprising to witness something that seems impossible in theory but evident in practice. How is it possible that a primary “care” giver puts you in a position of vulnerability but won’t permit you to be in that situation.

I believed I was a person. But I lived around tragedy so often and so frequent. Until the day I had a eureka moment when I realized I absorbed bits and pieces from each tragedy I experienced. So who exactly am I? A living tragedy. Experiencing my own self. Monotonously.

with the hope of existing together again, the moon stays for a while and sustains me;

I’ve spent my entire life defending you. I’ve spent all my energy in cleansing your name, protecting it from all these pseudo false allegations. I learnt what importance emotions hold and I felt each and every one of those to direct toward you. I learned what importance prayers hold and I religiously involved you in them. Yet, in the end, I absorbed your directed hate and filled my heart with misery. I invested my life in you and you wished I spent my life trying to put it to an end. I accept your non-present absence but why can’t I accept your pseudo presence?

… but we still carry the innocence of our childhood in us. even if it’s masked, it does exist somewhere;

you don’t need to know psychology to understand how to help people who are struggling. Struggle does not demand attention, it desires support, comfort, warmth, and maybe reassurance. Like the moon, all of us go through phases and we’re not always full, sometimes we’re half or even crescent. But that doesn’t disregard the essence of our existence. We still wake up, breathe, and carry on with our lives because that is what the purpose of our life lies in; to know we are alive and breathing.

People exist differently, especially when it comes to existing within themselves. Beck's cognitive theory, which is the basis for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, evidently explains how people shape their belief systems right from childhood. He laid great emphasis on the "faulty belief systems" that one develops due to a variety of factors ranging from personal to social. A child's mind is known to wander places where it experiences vividness at a beautiful level. If nurtured positively, they can do wonders in life. But, when this child's mind is altered negatively, it only teaches the child to behave in a certain way which in turn makes them develop certain faulty belief systems that may possibly remain unchanged. Constantly nagging and yelling at a child will only make their world gray. As a grown up, what will this child turn out to be? All the nagging and yelling has only contributed to creating a grown-up who is constantly experiencing feelings of worthlessness, guilt and shame. Every failure, every mistake, every uncomfortable situation, will only lead to "I'm never good enough, I should never try and just give up". But what’s significant here is that this tendency to give up is not a recent phenomenon. Unknown to knowledge, it is rooted deep inside this grown up who once did well in life, but received negative feedback from the environment and has now decided to make this a part of his faulty belief system. Therefore, when you get into a mindset where you think you can't do something, it probably does not belong to your thought process. It may be a part of your deep-rooted belief system that was once formed under unfortunate circumstances which now needs some altering. We become victims of our faulty belief systems without even noticing, and that's why positive self-talk plays an extremely important role for us. It's a human tendency to think negatively because that's what's convenient for us. But to overcome it, you have to be good to yourself and be kinder to yourself because you spend your entire life living inside your head. So, you can only imagine how necessary it is to be your own motivator and push yourself forward with positive self-talk and show yourself some extra love and care, because no one else will do it for you the way you do it for yourself

monotony in the head is very hard to romanticize