Dearest,

Extreme heart break. To be honest. I was always someone who took the focus off of myself, wanting to lift anyone I loved up and put their problems first because I could. My partner was my world, and she struggled with a lot of intense mental illness, so unfortunately she soaked up my love, and took everything I had to give, eventually emptying me out, that said I also completely allowed her to. And then she left me. It was an intense wake up call, because it was the biggest shock I could have ever experienced. I realize I was just left with me, my own issues to take care of, my own body and mind to take care of. That’s what got me through that whole break up. I was in a foreign country completely destroyed, and while I had incredible friends the only person I really had to carry me was me. 

I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ve been through many transitions in my life, and where I am now especially it hurts me to think that someone would think I was mean or would ever intentionally hurt another person. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in the past, or recently. I don’t consider myself a ‘popular’ person, I don’t find value in the amount of people who like me, I find irreplaceable value in the close friends I have. 

Well nothing I tell you can make you get over him right this second. It's going to take some time and convincing yourself that your relationship is no longer and probably won't ever be again. It's good he's moved on. I'm glad and you should be too. It takes time to fully be over someone. Acknowledge the fact that you will move on too, and that its possible and that he isn't the only one out there/the best one out there for you. I hope that helps.

Oof. Okay so after I broke up with my first serious girlfriend I had a fling with a guy, we were intimate but it didn't last. SO first things first don't feel troubled about that at all. Secondly, give some thought to whether this is what you really want (I always suggest that, just in case). When you confront her about it/break it off, let her know that you don't want to be the one to "break her", if she's the woman you make her out to be here she sounds very intelligent and capable of moving on without being destroyed. Don't let her hold you back, you have to do whats best for both of you even though it may suck for a while. She'll be okay if you approach it in the right way. Theres someone out there for her who will give her everything she needs, it just isn't you. 

It will be okay.

This is probably the most perplexing question I've ever received. I used to be a reader when I was younger and be completely in love with the characters and worlds that novels introduced me to. However, I could see where her standards are high and why it is difficult for you to live up to them. Perhaps the reason her standards are so high and why she is so in love with these fictional characters is that they do not have the capacity to hurt her. If her standards are so high then she trusts that she will find someone similar to the characters she adores and she will never be hurt or have problems. 

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this girl but I think maybe try and slip into her world a little bit. Get her mind off of the books momentarily and show her exciting things and people that exist in the real world. This is not me telling you to stop her from loving her novels or feeling attached to them, PLEASE don't do that. But show her that someone outside of fiction is capable of loving her and giving her what she needs to be happy and that being with someone in the real world is completely okay and safe. 

Just an aside, don't feel inadequate. This girl sounds incredibly intriguing and you sound so passionate about her based on how you've written this ask. You seem to me to be a very kind caring person and you are absolutely capable of being a real life version of your own character that she could fall in love with, provided that's your intent. 

Ah, from a completely objective point of view, I'd say sit her down and talk to her about it. From the perspective of someone who has been in this situation before, try and understand why you feel this way and perhaps be open to the fact that they may think that of you too. The problem with things like this is that it's almost nearly impossible to view it from the opposite person's perspective without confrontation. Maybe they're going through things that they feel that they cannot talk to you about for whatever reason. 

This will be similar to my last response. But you will be loved. Remember if you think that something inside you is broken, you should really see if you can figure out what it is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you look, and if people are choosing not to date you based on your physical appearance, you really should not want them around you anyway. Bring that patience and kindness back, remember that's who you are. You deserve to love yourself and not let constant rejection from possible partners eliminate that. You come across to me as a very strong and passionate person, and that is honestly so admirable. Cling on to that hope that you have, and I believe it will grow. If you remember how you worked and learned to love yourself for who you are I think that your relationship with yourself and others will improve. Learning to like ourselves is the biggest challenge of all humans in my opinion and the fact that you have had such an experience is absolutely inspiring.