In the Name of Rose Quartz

       Her first thought was to jump and say no. And of course, she did- Lapis being a gem to not think about what she said before saying it.  She paused, her words finally registering in her brain.

       “I mean… I-” She had a hard time forming the next sentence, her body was tense. “What if they don’t feel the same as you do? What if they want to put me back in a mirror?”

      Her eyes flashed to the ground, away from Pearl. Shame spread on her face… She was afraid to face the other members of the Crystal gems. What if they had told Steven she was dangerous? Or what if he was scared of her now that she formed such a terrible monster- Malachite.

      She couldn’t find any courage within her body to face them. Not yet anyway.

Pearl flinched at Lapis’s somewhat forceful “no”, jumping back a few inches. She hadn’t expected such an... insistent response. She froze as the other gem continued, and then sunk slightly in her chair afterwards, glancing in the direction she thought the were.

“Of course not,” she started. Steven certainly wouldn’t consider the ocean gem a danger, but it suddenly occurred to her, would Garnet or Amethyst? No, they wouldn’t think... Even if they did think Lapis was too dangerous to trust, Steven would be able to convince them otherwise. Pearl was sure of it.

“I- I can’t be sure about Garnet, or Amethyst, but I know Steven will trust you!” she explained. “And if Steven does, they won’t hurt you.”

       Lapis pulled away as well, although rather reluctantly. The touch felt nice, It had been so long since someone had shown any sort of physical kindness to her. 

      The room fell silent once more, She wouldn’t dare admit that she enjoyed the heartfelt moment between them. The ocean gem felt something similar to regret, guilty almost. She was unsure where the feeling was coming from; lots of things she supposed.

      Perhaps allowing herself to fall into Pearl’s grasp so quickly- or maybe it was that she hadn’t taken the other gem’s emotions into consideration.  There was still rage in Lapis’s heart but something was repressing it within her.

       She wanted to forgive her, she did- but it would take time; and effort on Pearl’s part. This wasn’t going to disappear so easily, not after five-thousand years. “I just… I need time I suppose” she explained solemnly.

Pearl nodded, briefly glancing back at Lapis, but quickly averted her eyes again. She cleared her throat and looked around the room, trying to remember where all of the others were. On the beach, maybe? For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to recall.

       Her breath began to stabilize, her heart stopped beating so raggedly. She felt more at peace, being held always helped. It had been so long since someone had touched her so gently. It felt angelic, so soft and quiet. The blood rush faded and the room’s noise began to die. It sounded almost like the deep droning from the depths of the sea. 

       She took a deep breath, reluctant to speak once more. Breaking the silence was hard. The situation between the two gems was awkward. They had history, bad blood, but at the moment it seemed to have faded. Pearl and her would always have hurtful memories of the mirror; but perhaps one day they could come to terms.

        “Thank you”  She said, her voice barely audible. It sounded almost like it hadn’t been used; it was breathy and could have easily been mistaken for a siren call.

Pearl sat there for quite some time, embracing Lapis, eyes closed, in a state as close to sleep as she had been in quite some time. Eventually, however, a short while after the other gem’s almost imperceptible thanks, she pulled away and slowly wiped the tears from her face, a soft blush replacing them.

       Tears poured from her eyes, wails of anguish caught in her throat. She was completely consumed in pure emotions. She couldn’t describe them if you asked her to, but she knew what she was feeling. It hurt, it hurt so bad; but there were undertones of a light feeling, something like when you first wake up and still presently warm. Like nothing matters in that moment. 

       She clutched onto Pearl, she was the only thing keeping her grounded in this moment. Fear of clawing her unheeded, she needed something- anything. Pearl was that someone right now.

Pearl drew in a few shaky breaths, relaxing slightly and leaning forward into Lapis. She closed her eyes, her tears continuing to flow down her cheeks. And yet, after a few moments, she felt almost as if a heavy weight had been briefly lifted, one she had no idea was there. It was almost somewhat serene, and she relaxed more against Lapis, both crying, but one of them obviously hurt much more than the other.

       Lapis remained still, emotions still running over her. She didn’t know how to speak, her every movement felt like it wasn’t even there, only fractals of light cascading off each other. Her arms lifted her torso up, she faced Pearl. Her eyes showing a sort of longing, pleading almost. 

       It was a moment of desperation for her, she was tired of being alone and to herself for so long. Sure she had been with Jasper under the sea for so long. But she was not much more than a cell mate- a loud one.

       “I’m so scared…” was the only thing that managed to escape her lips.

Now, finally, Pearl forced herself to move toward Lapis, very slowly at first, straining against her own mind telling her no, this is not a good idea, and then quickly once she had broken past the mental barriers. It was somewhat like water held back by a dam, pushing forward with so much more force after being kept from flowing.

       Lapis was shaking, her hands balled into fists, her eyes wide. A state of shock had taken over. She heard Pearl’s words, but she couldn’t comprehend them. They intermingled with each other and sounded like a blur looks. Her body went slack and hit the floor with a quiet thump.

       She was unsure of this situation, she tucked her legs up around her chest and twisted her arms around her thin frame. Lapis prayed this was a dream, shivering and cold on the hardwood floor. The blue gem didn’t do well alone during times of need. She almost wished that Pearl hadn’t withdrawn.

      She lay on the floor for quite a while, her sobs the only thing filling the room’s silence. Her projected body slowly came to a halt, her shivering dying away little by little. Her body relaxed, her body turned away from the other gem.

      The ocean gem finally regained her senses, speaking calmly, her voice rough from tears. “Pearl…”

Pearl watched with something like mute horror on her face, once again reaching out a hand for a moment and then stopping a ways away from Lapis. She wished that she could rush forward and embrace the other gem, caress her and whisper “I am so, so sorry,” over and over until everything was okay and nothing hurt.

But that would just make things worse, she was certain. She wasn’t quite sure, anyway, what the cause was for this sudden urge for physical affection with the gem she hadn’t even known existed for a year, nothing in the scale of those who live for thousands.