and I remember grinding my gears so so so much when I started writing fanfiction in english (bc i hate myself) because I was so enthralled in their ways of writing that I constantly felt like I would never ever achieve that peak, as I saw and honestly brother I still see. They write such a delicious prose that has me in a chokehold and gets me so hyperfocused I can't do anything else until I'm done. It's like a warm blanket wrapped tightly around you, just right. You feel like drinking some wine and lounging all day while reading their Sukuna doing the absolute batshit insane things they do because, uh, Sukuna. But the feeling slowly ebbed away when I understood that everyone writes differently. Hell, I write SO different in portuguese, it makes no sense for us writers to beat ourselves up when something we admire ends up not being the same thing we produce. Like drawings, paintings, every other form of art.

We can admire people and take inspiration - cue me reading muse's works and going "thanks I didn't know those words and now I need to use them at least once to fixate let's get this bread" - and have our own style. And it doesn't mean one is better than the other. I learned to enjoy my own style after a while, took me some months though, and then I feel comfortable enough nowadays to say my style is more direct, I like to guide people through the scenes, I like to have them feeling uneasy all the time, I like them to not know who I'm killing and who I'm torturing. And I like to sometimes experiment in other ways, sure, it kicks my ass a fuckton but we are here for a bad time and a tortuous time, not a long time! or whatever the saying is-

And researching is... yeah it's what I love to do, it's so exhausting though, but it's so rewarding. It's like ok I need to know EVERYTHING about being a mortician because this one character will be exerting this function so let's fucking go. Recently my days have been spent researching (not so much as me asking my man) about gym and stuff while yapping with @twitone as they research like, 5 things at once and I enable them. This user is an enabler of fic parkour. Thus how I know a lot of random shit about so many 'useless' stuff. Not useless ok I know, knowledge is always funny and amazing and makes us not become idiots (thanks god) but once again I'm rambling where the fuck am I going with this.

Research! And put your love into words, and when you read it and feel like you really love what you created, it will be all worthy. Time and effort put behind our beloved stories are what make them so special. Even if no one else appreciates them, we do, and we write for ourselves when it comes to it.

but truth is I really am just sukuna and I have all these 4 stupid hands to type on the laptop at the same time i'm typing on the mobile that's how I'm always interacting and reblogging and writing 😔 sorry to disappoint