Sarahâs Scribbles sums up the mood of the day: a year in which I tossed out all my New Yearâs Resolutions and wrote simply, âSurviveâ.
A year in which my personal woes were reflected by the news: 2016 sucked for everyone.
President Trump, ferfuxsake.
Brexit. People voted for lies. 52%. With the rest of us - half the population - told to âshut up and get over itâ.
David Bowie, just days after a career-best album. Carrie Fisher before Episode VIII. Final Destination couldnât have dreamed up Anton Yelchin.
2016 was a freak accident.
I need two people to function well in life: a Mentor and a Muse. The Muse says âthis is what success looks likeâ, and the Mentor says, âand this is how we get there.â Todd Howard and JG Thirlwell were (and are) like catalysts that absorbed my attention and spat out creativity, almost without my input. Those game mods and music essays were there, and I just had to cut away the parts that didnât look like them. Sometimes theyâre both, like Everett True, who inspired me to start writing, and whose book I appeared in just this year.
I met this year: a Muse in a job Iâve coasted in for over a decade, who says, âthis doesnât have to be just a paycheck, we could change the worldâ, and I think about him and I start to think about how, and I bug him with ideas that he likes. Something in him makes possibilities happen.
And my Mentor - a man who by any rights ought to be president of the damn universe. Someone who taught me to expand my definition of âpossibilityâ in the first place.
But Iâm finding it harder to draw the line between them: my Muse gives me incredible advice, and my Mentor is so damn inspiring. The world is richer for either.
I should add in a note about my husband here, whoâs going through a really tough time at work but trying really hard, and my daughter, whoâs five but already a terrifyingly grown-up mini-me who always knows when I need a cuddle.
And I got a new line manager, someone I really like. Sheâs a hard nut and pushes me, but only because she thinks I can take it. Sheâs someone Iâd hang out with even if we didnât work together. Iâd say that of 99% of the people I work with - and thatâs important if you have to spend 8-9 hours of your day with people. I got HIDEOUSLY drunk on my birthday (a big one!) and told everyone that I loved them. I meant every word.
So, yeah, my Muse told me that life was a bit of a game, and that it was the relationships that are important. Iâd absolutely agree. I might not have a fancy job title or lots of money or be generally where Iâd hoped I would be at this age, but - goshdarnit - I love my family and friends in ways I canât fully articulate, and that makes me feel so happy I could just burst!