Rue

He just kept doing things. New women, women from his past, women he claims he didn’t have a relationship with. And I wasn’t supposed to feel any kind of way about all that?

I did not have the mental or emotional fortitude to handle the impact of his impulsive behavior with women.

He knew it was a matter of time. Those “I love yous” felt so hollow and flat.

At least I have Ash. A great parting gift ig

That sent me into a spiral that really did me in I swearrrrrrrrrr

He was holding her hand!!!! My shayla!!!

Im sickkkkkkkk

3-4-6 weeks and maybe some sunshine

I couldn’t contain it this time.

I have to get out every last tear just to be safe.

My heart feels sore

Day idk no contact

My brain chemicals will rebalance soon right? I’ll start writing again and everything I learned will foster creation.

He liked Raven from teen titans

He took this picture

I’m looking through old photos trying to figure out what to do with them.

This was the day I saw that picture. I knew that ring. His callused palm down, fingers extended to her french tipped pinky.

He then painted that exact picture.

I saw the underpaint hanging to dry on the wall.

I cried

I ran away

I came back

We weren’t together, he said

Day 6 no contact.

I thought about it less this morning. Still the first thing on my mind, but it was dull pressure on my heart instead of a stabbing jolt.