Jon Snow x Lannister Reader
Warnings: readers just like lowkey struggling, not much just typical game of thrones stuff, they are PROFESSIONAL yearners
Part Five: Hole in My Chest
Days at Winterfell were bleak. Youâd heard word that Sansa was taken back to Kingâs Landing, just as youâd suspected. You knew Jon had reached Castle Black by now. You were alone in a place you hardly knew, surrounded by strangers. Part of you longed for Kingâs Landing; your septa, your old hand maidens turned to friends, even some of your family could be bearable at times. But whenever you found yourself feeling this way you simply remembered the cruelty that existed in that place. You were going to be sold like a horse.
Throughout your time at Winterfell, you asked servants anything you could think to ask about Jon Snow and the Stark family in general. You knew how kind Ned Stark was. You learned Catelyn never accepted Jon, and as fond of the man you were, you understood her reasoning. Youâd also be furious if your husband returned with another womanâs baby.
Then there was Jon. His memory clung to you like wet fur. You felt his presence through the vacant halls of Winterfell. You saw his eyes when you closed yours. You have never known a feeling like this one. None as deep or strong or confusing.
It hurt you to know something couldâve happened to Jon. Sure youâd heard word he reached Castle Black but the wall was a dangerous place for anyone. Youâd describe it no other way than feeling like thereâs a hole in your chest.
Two months had passed since you saw Jon. One day you stumble on Bran and his advisors discussing the war Robb is fighting against your grandfather. âGet out of here Princess,â one of the advisors says. âThe last thing we need is another spy for the Lannisters.â
âI am no Lannister spy,â you reply. You glance at the battle board before you, âmy grandfather wonât be at the lake.â
They all look up, shocked, âplease leave Princess. This is no place for a woman,â one of the men says.
âNo,â Bran says. âDid your grandfather ever speak about battle growing up?â
âTo Joffrey all the time MâLord, and I was always there as well, listening,â you reply.
âWhy do you say he wonât go to the lake?â Bran asks.
âHe always said if you have the choice of water choose the river,â you point to the map, âand the river is closer to their last known point.â The men are silent at your words.
âSend a raven to my brother,â Bran says.
âYouâre going to trust her MâLord?â One of the men says in outrage.â
âShe brought my sister back home did she not?â Bran says.
âYes MâLord,â another of the men says, âand then she lost her.â
âWhich wasnât her fault. Send the raven.â
At night, whilst you were lying there alone in bed, terrified someone from Kingâs Landing would come for you. You thought of Jon. His words echoed your mind, âI wouldnât hurt you.â âBrave.â âMy Princess.â And of course the way your simple first name sounded off his lips. You only truly knew him for a month, but you canât get him out of your head. You remember the brush of his gloved hands on your skin as he laced up your dress and caught you when you fell. You thought about how youâve never felt his touch without the glove. His skin has never known yours. You remember the dark waves of his curly brown hair. You wonder what it would be like to run your hands through it.
You heard knocking at your door, in the depths of night. âItâs Bran!â He shouts. You quickly open the door to see Hordor carrying a frightened Bran.
âWhat is it?â You ask.
âTheon has invaded Winterfell. You leave her. Go to Castle Black, find Jon. Heâll take you to Robb. They need your knowledge on the Lannisterâs.â
âTheon?â You say. âYour fatherâs ward?â
âHeâs betrayed us. You must go!â Bran says. âThereâs a horse waiting for you.â
âI should stay to protect you,â you say.
âI am well protected princess. You are a Lannister! Heâll put your head on a spike. You must run princess. Take Jon, go to Robb.â
âHeâs a man of the nights watch Bran!â You say officially panicking.
âIâm his brother and heâll do what I ask! Now go!â Bran shouts. Hordor holds out a bag of what you presume to be food for your journey.
âCome with me,â you say.
âI am Lord of Winterfell, I cannot.â
You take it, âyou have been kind to me my lord. For that I thank you.â and shut the door.
As fast as you can, you dress. Laying fur after fur so you donât freeze to death. You find the horse Bran was referring to by it waits a guard from Winterfell. âLord Stark told me to give you this Princess,â the guard says holding out a sword.
âI donât even know how to use it,â you say taking it.
âIf you donât freeze to death and have to defend yourself, youâll be lucky to have it.â
You look at the stranger and say, âIâm frightened.â
He simply says, âyou are a princess of Westeros.â And hits your horse sending you off alone through the woods of the North.
You werenât scared of Theonâs men. From what you heard about the boy he probably didnât even know how to control an army. What frightened you was the cold, wolves, and wildlings. Throughout your journey, you tried to avoid fire as to not draw attention. It was fine on your journey with Jon and Sansa since there were three of you but alone you knew it wasnât a good idea. So you used your fur and got your horse to sit so you may curl up beside it for warmth. You ran out of food two weeks in, and that was rationing it. You barely got any sleep, waking up at the smallest noise thinking youâd met your final moments. The sword Bran gave you was always close, you were thankful for the gift even thought you lacked the proper training to skillfully wield it. On your journey you mostly thought about if Jon would actually come with you. Bran had promised heâd bring you to Robb but you wondered if he was too loyal to the nightâs watch. You had nightmares of what horrors Sansa was facing South in Kingâs Landing and of what awaits you if you ever return. There were still men in no doubt looking for you in the North. Eventually you saw smoke of Winterfell, itâs been burned. You pray for the safety of both the younger Stark brothers. You hadnât been this miserable on your journey with Sansa to Castle Black or your journey with her and Jon to Winterfell, youâd never felt so weak in body and mind in your life.
You rode your horse, at last seeing Castle Black through the snow. This encouraged you to pick up the pace, just wanting to be warm. Like the first time, a group of rangers stopped you. âI must speak with Jon Snow,â you told them.
âThe bastard?â One of them asked.
âYes, Iâm Princess Y/N of the seven kingdoms. I have orders from Lord Stark to speak to Jon Snow.â Hesitantly, they let you through the gates. You nearly collapsed after climbing down your horse, facing the Lord Commander who you werenât fond of even a little.
Little of Jonâs Perspective
On his ride back to Castle Black, although heâd never admit it, it took everything in him to not turn back to Winterfell: turn back to you. Heâd found girls pretty before but you were more than pretty, you were enchanting. At night he tried not to remember the peace he felt that night he slept on the ground beside you at Winterfell, knowing you were safe. Or the late conversations by the fire during his journey with you and Sansa. He couldnât bare to allow himself to think about the weight of the laces of your dress when youâd asked for his help, and he didnât allow himself to dwell on the fact that he wished he hadnât been wearing gloves. Mostly he tried to push away the memory of you giving him permission to use only your first name. And as much as he tried, for his next month at Castle Black to push away all these thoughts and emotions swirling around the memory of you, he could not. Whilst he and Sam stood on the wall and he looked out at the woods he thought about if you were safe, if you were being treated kindly, if someone had forced you back to Kingâs Landing. He promised he wouldnât forget you, and he couldnât even if he tried. It was as if he had a hole in his chest.
âJon!â Sam shouted finding him walking the ground of Castle Black. âJon! Theon Greyjoy has taken Winterfell!â Jonâs eyes go wide.
âLess than a month. The Lannister girl, the princess, is here. She wants to speak with you,â Sam says.
Sam and Jon find you in the Lord Commanderâs tower at Castle Black, sipping hot water looking half dead. As soon as he and Sam enter the room, your eyes meet his, causing the world to go silent. All you hear is the breath of each person in the room. Youâre the first to speak, reaching into your bag to pull out the message Hordor had left in your bag, written by Bran. âA message from Lord Stark,â you say handing it to Jon who looks as if heâs forgotten how to speak. He opens it and says, âJon, I ask that you accompany Princess Y/N to find Robb. Her knowledge of Lannister battle strategy will do a great deal to help our brother. Bran.â
âYou have no right to come here demanding leave of a man of the nightâs watch,â Lord Commander says to you.
âIt isnât her demand,â Jon says, âitâs Branâs.â
âYou took an oath! Your duty to to the Nightâs Watch,â Lord Commander says.
âAnd is the Nightâs Watch not in the North?â Jon says. âThe North is in trouble Lord Commander. Winterfell is taken. My brother goes against a man with fifty years more experience than him, this womanâs grandfather. If Bran says she can help, and heâs ordered me to accompany her then I have a duty to the North as well do I not?â
Lord Commander sighs, âGo, get out the lot of you.â Sam, you, and Jon rush for the door. âJon. You ride at dawn. You will fulfill your brotherâs orders then return here, where you belong.â
In the hall you hear Jon tell Sam, âcover for me?â Sam nods and leaves. All those days spent thinking about each other, and now here you two stood finally, with only silence between you.
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