𝑗ellyblog ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

im not sure why I copy people, I just do it for some reason. Sometimes I don't realize it, sometimes I do but I feel like I must continue. I just like being like everyone else because people curate their personality, the version they've curated of themselves is the best they've picked out from themselves that they show. I pick out all the good bits and leave the rest I guess. I act differently everywhere, I act unusually when I have no one else to copy, usually I'm not really alone. I have other people to tell me how to make me the best of myself, such as the people on my screen who are anonymous, and my parents. Theyve already picked the best of them for years, so I should be more like them. The problem is that they show their bad side to me too, which makes it complicated. When someone shows their bad to you it means they're comfortable enough to know that no one else will know like you do. I'm not the same girl in school usually, because I want to be like the best of everyone else. It's performative to pretend you don't want to be better than everyone else, you might not feel that way and it's okay. But- so why not just take what others already see as the best to make yourself the best in everyone else's eyes? I see your reactions to what I do in school, I see the reactions of everyone. So even when I mess up, Ill learn, correct it, apologize, say the right things next time. Maybe someone will love me like I love all of them, and I love you all that's why I want to be the best of me. Sometimes it's hard, but it's ok to struggle.

like this if youre ready to leave ur mum in a old person home, all my mommy issue girls get me

i hate my mum and ive always secretly felt this way deep in my heart and i can never change that because of how much she's hurt me

if i become rich and i also start cleaning more often it's over for all of you guys

my facial skin finally started improving! maybe life is worth it again.

a part of me dies inside when a thought escapes my brain from the tons of caffeine, multivitamins, 3 hours of sleep, noise cancelling headphones and no breakfast. like- im not supposed to have those?

i feel a deep, inconsolable anger rising in my chest for no reason.

there has got to be something wrong with me mentally but im too lazy to figure it out

the absolute excruciating pain of skipping ur fav song on spotify without premium