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missed you, baby - a min yoongi oneshot pairing: yoongi x f!reader genre: established relationship summary: it's been rough lately. you're on your period and no matter how much you sleep, you're exhausted and depressed. luckily you have a boyfriend who has no problem busting down your door because he misses you. warnings/tags: just fluff, very sweet, mcâs on her period and dealing with some depression, yoongi is the king of acts of service, i just love to imagine a man who pays attention and gives a fuck wc: 1.7k notes: not proofread or beta'd and i kinda rushed the ending oh well. but be proud that i was able to write something without smut lmao. sorry it's only 1k. thank u to aqua @glossdebut for reading through some of this <333.
Youâre so tired. Youâve been lying in bed all day. Really all weekend. The whole entire week was exhausting, work stressful, school draining. And to top it all off, youâre on your period. You havenât looked at your phone since it died yesterday afternoon. Itâs almost 7pm on Saturday. You should charge it. Yoongi hates when you donât check in after a day or so. But you donât think you can muster the strength to even move out from under the covers.
Then your doorbell rings and you groan and throw the covers over your head. Maybe someone is just at the wrong door. You can only hope. You miss your boyfriend horribly, but you feel like shit, you havenât showered, or eaten, or tidied up, and your cramps are killing you. Youâre the definition of a hot mess. And he hasnât seen this kind of hot-mess-you yet.
Closing your eyes, you silently beg whoeverâs at the door to go away, but they fly open at the sound of a key turning in your lock and you spring out of bed. Blood rushes down to your legs and up to your head as you rush out of your room because the last thing you need is Yoongi witnessing your rock bottom. Heâs stepping out of the foyer, shoes neatly tucked in the corner, by the time you skid into the living room, blanket flailing behind you like a cape.
âUh, hi,â you greet lamely, moving to get in his way of further entering your apartment. âYou couldnât wait for me to answer?â Fuck, you sound mean. Pms has gotten the best of you.
Despite your tone, he smiles. This guy just has to make it hard to shut him out. âI thought you might be asleep.â
âI wasnât,â you say, self-consciously wrapping your blanket beneath your neck to hide as much of you as you can.
He turns his snapback backwards, revealing his entire pretty face. âWell, I havenât heard from you in a few days, my love. I know you need your space, but I need to know that youâre alive. Why else would you give me your spare key?â
âSo that you can bring it in case I lose mine.â
He puts his free hand on his hip, leveling you with a playful glare. âIâm your boyfriend, not a locksmith.â
You shrug, and glance over your shoulder, checking to make sure your unkempt living room didnât manage to become more unkempt just because he showed up.
âAre you gonna let me in or am I just gonna be your food delivery guy?â
âItâs a mess in here. Iâm a mess.â
He tilts his head. âBabe, when have I ever cared?â
âI care. I hate that youâre seeing me like this.â
âI just like seeing you. No matter what state youâre in.â
You stand there like a statue as you go to war with yourself because you miss him but youâre having a hard time believing he doesnât care that it looks like a category 5 tornado ran right through your place.
âItâs not that bad in here,â he says, stepping around you to head for the kitchen. Okay, mind reader. âJust come eat.â
âIâm gonna shower first.â
He just nods and sets the food on the counter to unpack it. Halfway through your glorious shower, you pause when the bathroom door squeaks open. Instinctively, you reach for the handle to adjust the temperature to a cooler one he can stand, expecting him to join you, but you donât hear his footsteps pad onto the damp, steamy tile. You donât hear anything.
âWhat are you doing?â
All you get in response is a closed door. Okay?
After brushing your teeth, washing your face, moisturizing, and changing into clean sweats, you come back into the main area to find Yoongi in the kitchen washing dishes. The washer is running in the corner, half-empty hamper by the end of the counter. Youâre horrified, that thing was overflowing, clothes smashed against the wall. And he took it upon himself to start doing your laundry?
âPlease donât clean up after me,â you say in a panic, darting into the kitchen.
âCanât hear you,â he says, tapping his earbud, and completely ignores your attempts to stop him from scrubbing a plate. You would be annoyed if you werenât so relieved you donât have to do your dishes tonight. The least you can do is help.
Side by side, he silently passes you one of his earbuds and you finish up with the dishes and wiping down the counters while listening to his playlist, the one thatâs filled with songs you both picked together. You almost start crying when âMansard Roofâ comes on - a song on your playlist that was on in the background when Yoongi first told you he loved you. Corny, you know. But that was the two of you. Before you can reminisce and become more emotional, Yoongi bumps hips with you and loudly sings the lyrics. You shriek when during the bouncing beat of first verse, he grabs your hand and twirls you around, ignoring your shouts of his name as he pulls you into a silly, uncoordinated dance routine. You laugh giddily and the sound surprises you. Leave it to Yoongi to bring out the sun when all youâve known is rain.
âYouâre ridiculous,â you giggle breathlessly when the song ends, pushing at his chest but he remains close. He grins and swoops in for a swift peck.
âYou love it.â He turns around for the food before you get the chance to say you love him.
You sit next to him at the island counter, legs tangled together, picking from each otherâs bowls. Yoongi makes sure you have enough protein, you give him extra vegetables. As you eat, your cramps slowly creep in and get worse, and they become harder to ignore, but you try your best not to let your pain show.
âCramps?â Yoongi asks after you start cleaning up.
âYou can tell?â How the fuck?
âYou make a face.â Oh. You shouldnât be surprised. Your boyfriend is insanely attentive.
âNeed meds?â You shake your head.
âHeating pad?â
âItâs somewhere in my closet.â
âGo get it. Iâll finish up here.â
You canât get over how good he is to you despite the fact that you ignored him for three days. He brought food, did your dishes and laundry, and twirled you around the kitchen when he hates dancing. Just to make you laugh. He put on your favorite chill playlist while you ate together. He didnât ask you about your week, didnât try to push you for answers about why you went MIA. Because he knows you prefer to eat in silence, especially when itâs been a while since youâve eaten. And he knows when youâre in pain because of a face you make? You really hit the jackpot with him. You need to show him how grateful you are.
When you come back to the kitchen, heâs back at the sink, towel drying the dishes and putting them away. You set the heating pad on the island counter and stride up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist, cheek planted on his back.
âIâm sorry I sounded like I didnât want you here,â you apologize, guilt swimming through you. âI just donât want you to think I canât take care of myself.â
He sets down the dishes and swivels around, eyes filled with something that makes you want to shy away as he reaches up to hold your cheek.
âBaby, itâs okay if you canât sometimes, though. God knows Iâve been there. You know Iâve been there.â You sniffle, remembering the times when youâve been in his shoes, worrying about his prolonged silence, wondering if heâs okay, if heâs taking care of himself, showing up unprompted to do it for him. You donât know why itâs hard to accept when he does it for you.
âAnd I love you, or something, so I want to be there for you.â You glance up to the small smile playing on his lips and it spreads onto yours.
ââOr somethingâ?â
His gums show under a grin and you canât help but crack into a full smile. He reaches out to brush the corner of your quirked up lip.
âLove seeing this.â
Youâve known this man for a little over two years and dating him for eight months but he still makes you so, so shy. To hide it, you knock your face into his shoulder, heart melting when his hand smooths up to your neck and his lips press into your temple.
âMissed you,â you mumble into his shirt, tears jumping to your waterline when his scent overwhelms you with comfort.
âMissed you, too, baby,â he says softly.
âAnd,â you sniff. âIâm really grateful for you.â
He tilts up your chin with a knuckle. âI love you.â
Heart bursting, you lean in and kiss him with a full smile, and he holds both sides of your face as he kisses you back - soft and slow and warm and with a silent promise that heâll always care.
âCan I stay?â he whispers after you break apart, feeling dazed and like youâre floating on a cloud.
âPlease.â
âIâll even suffer through watching your favorite show,â he sighs exasperatedly. You roll your eyes. Like he doesnât verbally scrutinize the plot after each episode and make insightful commentary about the charactersâ dynamics.Â
âYou know youâre just as into the drama as I am, stop denying it.â
He shakes his head belligerently. âNo.â
Laugh resonating in your chest, you push him towards the living room, curl up with him on the couch under a big, soft blanket, and get into a huge debate about the direction of the cliff hanger.
Hours later, after making your bed together, you crawl under the covers, each on your designated side, and he pulls you into him as you get settled. You nuzzle into his neck and breathe in his intoxicating and soothing scent. Youâre so comfortable and safe, and now you have a better reason for not leaving your bed. With his beating heart echoing under your skin and his arms wrapped snugly around you, you find yourself the happiest youâve been in a while. You could stay like this forever.
âIâm calling out tomorrow,â you declare against his throat.Â
âGood,â he yawns. âI already did.â
You kiss him in a silent thank you. As you get settled, his hand finds yours under the covers and tangles your fingers together. You go to sleep wondering how many times he can make you fall in love.
.
.
.
bc i haven't posted in a while <3 kinda self indulgent i wrote this when my period was killing me
MDNIđ (Taglist Closed)
Main Masterlist here
Before I Forgot Masterlist here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
You keep your head down, focusing on your keyboard as you process claims for unforeseen water damage and minor fender benders. However, every time the elevator chimes, your shoulders stiffen and your foot starts to tap nervously. Every time a man in a tailored suit walks past your cubicle, you hold your breath until the scent of his cologne fades. You wait for the sharp, expensive notes of Corbynâs aftershave that thankfully come.
âBut the day is almost over.
4:55 PM.
â"Psst," Leah hisses, rolling her chair back a bit to peek around the partition. "Thirty-five settlements, two denials, and zero Corbyn sightings. I think weâre in the clear."
â"Don't jinx it," you whisper, finally letting out a breath. "I just want to get to the parking lot without a performance review on my personal life."
â"Youâre doing great," she encourages as she shuts down her computer and grabs her bag from under her desk. "Clean break. Professional. Boring. Exactly what weâŠ"
â"Y/N? You have... uh... visitors at reception? They say itâs urgent." âThe intercom at the front desk crackles, cutting her off.
"Corbyn doesn't do reception." âLeahâs brow furrows.
âYou stand up, a knot of dread forming in your stomach. As you walk towards the lobby, you notice the office atmosphere has changed. Usually, at five o'clock, everyone was a zombie. Now, heads were popping over cubicle walls checking out what was going on. People are whispering. Carrie from Accounting is actually standing on her tiptoes to see down the hallway.
âWhen you round the corner, you see why. âLeaning against the sleek, minimalist reception desk are two men who look like they have no reason to be talking to you.
Taehyung stands with one ankle crossing over the other, dressed in loose charcoal trousers and a cream silk shirt with the sleeves pushed to his elbows, rings shining as he reaches into the bowl of complimentary peppermints. A pair of sunglasses resting in his dark hair despite the fact he was indoors. Next to him, Jimin is leaning back on his elbows, flashing a blinding, angelic smile at the receptionist, who looks like she has forgotten how to breathe.
â"Y/N!" Taehyungâs face lights up the moment he sees you.
â"What are you guys doing here?" You laugh nervously, reaching them and trying to ignore the fact that the entire sales team was now watching the exchange.
â"Weâre here for you, obviously. I meanâŠI already have insurance," Jimin says, his eyes crinkling as he reaches out to adjust the collar of your blazer. "Operation: Glow-Up Phase Two requires a change of scenery. Also, Taehyung wanted a peppermint."
â"They're a bit chalky," Taehyung notes after popping one in his mouth. He then looks past you, his gaze sharpening as he scans the rows of desks. "Where is he? The Beige King? I bet his office doesn't have dust in it either."
âHe doesn't work here,â you tell them, shaking your head. âHe's a lawyer that works with our firmâŠ. sometimes.â
âThatâs honestly disappointing. I had a whole monologue prepared.â Taehyung blinks once.
âYou absolutely did not,â you mutter, though a tiny spark of amusement flickered in your chest.
âI did,â he insists, throwing a hand over his heart. âIt involved emotional support dust bunnies.â
Before the growing audience of curious coworkers around the reception desk could become any more obvious, Jimin gently hooks his arm through yours, guiding you toward the exit. âCome on.â Jimin smiles.
âWhere are we going?â You ask immediately. âI just got off work.â
âAnd now, you are coming with us.â Taehyung pushes off the desk.
âYou two are insane,â you sigh, giving in.
âAnd yet,â Jimin says smoothly, opening the door for you. âYou're coming with us.â
âThatâs because Iâm too tired to fight you.â You joke.
âHey,â he says quietly and more seriously. âYou survived today.â
You glance at him, surprised by the sudden shift in tone.
âI know that sounds dramatic,â he continues. âBut the first days after big decisions are awful. Your body thinks youâre being hunted for sport.â
âThatâs⊠weirdly accurate,â you admit, the honesty of it hitting you square in the chest.
âThank you. Iâm emotionally intelligent.â He winks.
âYou cried because a bakery ran out of strawberry cream buns once.â Taehyung scoffs loudly from the other side of you.
âThat was grief.â Jimin defends himself. âI was hungry.â
By the time you reach the car, you are smiling again. BarelyâŠbut it was enough to keep you moving. About twenty minutes later, however, the realization hit that they still hadn't disclosed their destination.
âOkay,â you say from the passenger seat, narrowing your eyes at Jiminâs reflection in the rearview mirror. âSeriously. Where are we going?â
âThe studio,â Jimin replies simply.
âYour dance studio?â You ask. âWhy?â
âI need your assistance.â He replies.
âWith what?â You question.
âYouâll see.â He smiles, mysteriously.
âThatâs âŠmysterious.â You lift an eyebrow
âVery mysterious. Very cinematic.â Taehyung hums from the driverâs seat, steering the car with a relaxed confidence.
âI canât dance.â You fold your arms across your chest. âYou better not make me dance.â
âWe know,â Taehyung says immediately and you frown as Jimin chokes on nothing in the backseat. âNo, noâŠthat sounded so much meaner out loud than it did in my head.â Taehyung scrambles to fix it as you give him a horrified look.
âWeâre joking,â Jimin says quickly through his laughter. âYou donât need to dance. I actually need you to come.â
There was something in the way he says it that makes you stop fighting it. Instead, you sit back in the seat and watch the city roll by. After a day spent bracing for a confrontation that never came, the silence inside your own head is finally louder than the anxiety. You lean your forehead against the cool glass of the window, watching the sun catch on the glass of the passing high-rises.
You catch Jiminâs eye in the mirror again. Heâs looking out his own window, his expression softer now, devoid of the playful smirk from earlier. Then thereâs Taehyung, humming a tune that doesn't quite match the radio, his rings tapping a steady rhythm on the steering wheel.
A Glow-Up Phase Two. Whatever that means, seems like a terrifying concept. You aren't sure what you're supposed to provide at a dance studio, but as the car slows and the building comes into view, you take one deep, steadying breath. The car rolls to a stop.
"We're here," Taehyung announces, killing the engine with a flourish.
"Ready, Y/N?" Jimin asks, leaning forward to rest his chin on the back of your seat.
You look at the studio doors and then back at them.
"As ready as I'll ever be," you say.
âThis is where we teach my youngest dancers,â Jimin says.
You stop short. Buckets of paint are scattered everywhere. Large plastic sheets are spread across the floor. Open jars of brushes sit nearby beside bottles of water, old paint-stained towels, and paper plates smeared with dried color. Blue. Red. Yellow. Green. Actual, vibrant color. Your brows pull together slowly as you take it in.
âWhat is this?â You ask, looking at him.
âArt therapy?â Jimin shrugs casually, though there was something careful in his eyes now.
âRehabilitation for former residents of the Beige Void.â Taehyung drops onto the floor cross-legged beside one of the paint buckets.
âThe room needs a little make over,â Jimin smiles.
You stare at them both, then back at the paint. You don't understand what they want you to do.
âGo ahead. Paint.â Jiminâs voice softens as he nudges you forward.
âNo.â You let out a quiet breath and shake your head almost immediately.
Neither of them push right away.
âWhy not?â Taehyung just tilts his head slightly, his gaze curious.
You open your mouth, but nothing comes out at first because the answer sounds ridiculous even inside your own head. Your gaze drifts back toward the paint buckets, the bright acrylic colors almost overwhelming after years of muted neutrals and careful control. Your fingers curled slightly against your sleeves.
âIâŠâ You swallow hard. âI donât know how.â
The room goes quiet. It isn't an awkward silence. Jimin leans back against the mirrored wall, studying you carefully.
âYou think people forget?â He questions.
âI think I did.â You laugh once under your breath, but there is no humor in it.
âYouâre acting like somebodyâs grading you.â Jimin comments.
âNo oneâs grading you here,â Taehyung adds. âThis isnât an art exhibit. Itâs emotional damage control with supplies.â
A tiny breath of laughter escapes you before you could stop it. Encouraged, Jimin pushes off the wall and walks toward one of the blank walls. He picks up a thick brush, dips it lazily into blue paint, and drags one messy streak across the white surface without looking.
âThatâs it,â he says simply as you stare at the line uneven and crooked, and paint begins to drip slowly down the wall.
âJimin. Your technique. So avant-garde.â Taehyung gasps dramatically.
âThank you,â Jimin says, semi-seriously. Then, he turns and hands the brush to you.
You stare at it. At the blue paint clinging to the bristles, and at your own reflection in the mirrors behind them. You look uncertain, smaller than you remembered feeling. Your fingers slowly close around the handle, and for the first time in a very long time, nobody told you to keep things clean.
â"Mine is a space owl," Minjun announces, slapping a neon purple wing onto a toilet paper roll with enough glue to hold together a skyscraper.
â"It's perfect," you whisper, leaning in.
âThe door to the community room creaks open. You don't look up immediately, too busy helping a girl named Sophie navigate the treacherous waters of safety scissors.
â"I heard there was a craft crisis," a deep, gravelly voice enters the room.
âYou look up, and the breath youâd been holding since 9:00 AM finally leaves you. Yoongi is standing there, his guitar case slung over one shoulder and a keyboard stand tucked under his arm.
â"No crisis," you say, offering a small, genuine smile. "Just a lot of googly eyes. I'm surprised Hobi hasn't been in to check in on me."
â"He's in the office," Yoongi tells you, setting his gear down on the floor. He walks over to your table, his hands buried in his pockets. He scans the carnage of felt and feathers. "Is that a three-headed owl, Minjun?"
â"It's for extra hearing!" Minjun explains.
âSophie, who had been meticulously peeling the backing off a glittery sticker, suddenly stands up. She holds her creation up high in the air. It is a toilet paper roll so heavily decorated with multi-colored feathers, mismatched googly eyes, and neon pipe cleaners that you can't even tell what it is.
â"Look, Yoongi!" She chirps, thrusting the creature toward his face. "Itâs a Rainbow Owl. He lives in the clouds and eats starlight."
âYoongi pulls back slightly to get a full view of the masterpiece, his eyes widening in mock awe. He reaches out a pale finger, gently poking a stray pink feather that was hanging on by a thread of hot glue.
â"Starlight, huh?" He repeats. "Thatâs a high-energy diet. No wonder heâs so bright. Does he have a name?"
â"Sparkle-Cloud," Sophie says, with a smile.
â"Great name," Yoongi nods. He looks up at you then, his dark eyes catching yours over the top of Sophieâs head.
â"I saw the studio," he says casually. "Jimin sent me a photo of the renovations you three did."
âYou feel a familiar heat creep up your neck, and you instinctively reach for a stray piece of felt to keep your hands busy.
"Oh, no. I was hoping heâd keep that locked in a vault somewhere." You let out a soft, self-deprecating laugh. "I wouldn't exactly call it a painting, Yoongi. Itâs more like... accidental splatter. It looks like a blue and yellow ink cloud exploded."
â"I liked the explosion," he counters, his gaze steady as he watches you shred the edge of the felt. âIt felt realâŠ. uncontained.â
âHe reaches onto the table, his long fingers navigating the sea of sequins until he finds a rogue googly eye. He picks it up, turning it over thoughtfully.
â"Jimin told me you were worried about not knowing how," he adds, his voice barely above a murmur so the kids won't overhear. "But art isn't about knowing how to do it right. It's about having the guts to do it wrong."
â"I did it very wrong," you mutter, finally looking up at him. "Thereâs a blue handprint near the ceiling that Iâm pretty sure Taehyung is responsible for."
"Taehyung is a menace with a paintbrush. But the point is, the wall isn't beige anymore. And neither are you." âYoongiâs lips twitch, the corner of his mouth curving into a faint gummy smile.
Heat crawls up your neck, and you quickly reach for the nearest distraction before he can say anything else that makes your heartbeat weird. Your gaze flicks toward the pile of equipment heâd carried in.
âWhy do you carry extra musical equipment?â You question. âThe center has instruments right?â
âThe stuff here is usually fine,â he says with a shrug. âThe center does what it can.â
âBut?â You ask.
His expression softens slightly as he looks over at the kids scattered around the tables. Minjun is now attaching approximately twelve more googly eyes to his owl while Sophie attempts to convince another little girl that feathers improve everything.
âSometimes my older students need more,â Yoongi says quietly.
âMore how?â You tilt your head a little.
He takes a seat beside the table, legs stretching out comfortably in front of him. One of the kids immediately wanders over and starts braiding colorful pipe cleaners around the sleeve of his hoodie like it was the most natural thing in the world. He doesnât even react.
âThe younger kids just want somewhere safe to be loud,â he explains. âThe older onesâŠâ He pauses briefly, searching for the right wording. âA lot of them are carrying things they donât know how to talk about yet.â
âSo music helps?â Your fingers still against the felt in your hands.
âSometimes.â He nods once. âSometimes itâs the only thing that helps.â
The room buzzes around you with the sound of scissors snipping paper and children arguing passionately about glitter placement, but his voice somehow cuts clean through all of it.
Calm.
Steady.
Honest.
Yoongi reaches down absently as Sophie deposits a handful of sequins into his palm like an offering.
âOne kid comes in every week and practices until his fingertips blister because itâs the only time he says his brain shuts up,â he says. âAnother one writes lyrics instead of talking during group discussions. One girl barely spoke for six months, but she started playing piano when she thought nobody was listening.â
âAnd the extra equipment?â You ask softly and he rolls one shoulder.
âSome of them canât afford lessons. Or instruments. So if they want to learn properlyâŠâ He nods toward the guitar case. âI bring things.â
He says it like itâs obvious. Like thereâs no world where he wouldnât. You stare at him for a second too long before catching yourself.
âThatâsâŠâ Your voice comes out quieter than intended. âReally nice.â
âDonât say that so loudly. I have a reputation.â Yoongi looks mildly horrified.
You laugh before you can stop yourself. A real laugh this time, warm enough that Sophie immediately looks between the two of you with suspicious interest.
âOooooh,â she sings suddenly, pointing a glitter-covered finger at Yoongi. âYou like her.â
You choke on absolutely nothing.
âHE DOES.â Minjun accuses and points a finger at Yoongi along with her.
Yoongi freezes. Not dramatically. Not obviously. Most people in the room probably wouldnât notice it at all.
But you do.
You notice the way his shoulders go still beneath the oversized black hoodie. The tiny pause in his breathing. The way his fingers stop turning the googly eye in his hand.
And apparently the children smell blood in the water immediately.
âHE DOES,â Minjun repeats louder, standing up in his chair.
âWAIT. ARE YOU TWO IN LOVE?â Sophie gasps, both hands flying to her cheeks.
âThis is inappropriate,â Yoongi says flatly. âMake your owls.â
âSophie, use your inside voice,â you tell the little girl.
âTHIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE,â she argues.
Yoongi finally moves, but itâs only to slowly place the googly eye down on the table. He doesnât look at the kids. He looks at you, and for a split second, the reputation heâs so worried about protecting is nowhere to be found. His dark eyes are wide, caught in a rare moment of genuine, unscripted vulnerability.
"Itâs like the movies! He brought the guitar to sing to her!" Minjun shouts from his chair.
"I brought the guitar for my class, Minjun," Yoongi says, but the kids don't care. It just fuels the fire.
"Thatâs exactly what a secret boyfriend would say," Sophie whispers loudly to the entire table.
The heat in your neck has now officially reached your ears. You scramble for a distraction, grabbing a handful of pipe cleaners.
"Okay, okay! New rule. Anyone who talks about boyfriends has to help me organize the glitter jars by color," you call out.
The threat of manual labor should have worked on kids, but Sophie is on a mission. She leans over the table, peering intensely at Yoongiâs face.
"Your face is turning pink, Yoongi. You like her.â Sophie blinks innocently.
Yoongi lets out a long, slow breath, pulling the brim of his beanie down until it nearly covers his eyes.
"Iâm leaving," he mutters, though he doesn't actually move an inch. "I'm going to go tune the piano. In the dark."
"Wait!" You laugh, your voice a mix of embarrassment and a strange, bubbling amusement. "Youâre just going to leave me here to defend myself against the Rainbow Owl investigators?"
"You're doing great, Y/N," he says. "You're stronger than you think."
He winks. It's a quick, sharp movement that felt like a secret code before finally retreating towards his discarded instruments.
"HE WINKED!" Minjun shrieks, nearly falling off his chair. "I SAW THE WINK!"
You bury your face in a pile of neon felt, the scent of glue and cheap acrylic paint filling your senses. Suddenly, you aren't thinking about claims, settlements, or the sharp scent of expensive aftershave. You're just thinking about the fact that your life is currently a mess of glitter and googly eyesâŠ..and youâve never felt more awake.
"Okay, Sophie," you sigh, peeking out from the felt. "Tell me more about this starlight diet. Does the owl need a cape? I think he needs a cape."
The community center has finally emptied out. The chaotic energy of Sparkle-Cloud the Rainbow Owl and the Wink Investigation Team left, leaving only the muffled sound of Yoongiâs piano from the other room.
You are sitting in Hobiâs office. Hobi isn't his usual whirlwind of sunshine at the moment. He is focused, tapping a rhythmic beat against his desk with a pen as he watches you.
"You look tired," he notes, though his smile remains warm. "But the good kind of tired. The kind that comes from actually doing something."
"I have glitter in places I didn't know glitter could go, Hobi," you joke, leaning back in the guest chair. "But yeah. The good kind."
He chuckles, then his expression shifts into something more intentional. He reaches for a thick manila folder sitting on the edge of his desk and slides it across the polished wood toward you.
"I've been doing some digging," he says simply.
You pull the folder closer, your brow furrowing as you flip it open. Inside were several printed documents. The first page is certification requirements and behind that is a copy of a university transcript that bore your name but felt like it belonged to a stranger.
"Hobi? What is this?" You ask, your voice trailing off as you scan the credits. History of Art Education. Child Psychology. Visual Arts for the Primary Classroom.
"I did some research," Hobi tells you, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the desk. "I know the accident changed everything. I know the memory loss made it feel like you had to start from zero. But your degree? Your hard work? That didn't just evaporate because you hit your head."
You stare at a scanned copy of a diploma.
"You were so close to your own classroom. You and YoongiâŠ. you guys actually found schools rather close to each other, " Hobi continues softly as you look up at him. "Youâve already done the hard part. The degree is yours. Itâs permanent."
He points to a highlighted section on the top sheet.
"Since you haven't been teaching, your license is just inactive. I called the board. You don't have to go back to school, Y/N. You just need to reinstate it." He smiles softly.
Your eyes look at the short bulleted list.
âą Step One: A background check (standard procedure).
âą Step Two: A few continuing education hoursâmostly just to catch up on current classroom tech.
âą Step Three: Filing the reinstatement fee.
"Thatâs it?" You whisper, looking up at him.
Your heart, which had been steady since Yoongiâs departure, started to gallop.
"That's it," Hobi confirmes. "No more fender benders. No more boring cubicles. No more Beige Kings or tailored suits. You could teach, Y/N. For real. Not just volunteering with me on Saturdays."
You look back down at the papers. For the last few years, you had been moving through the world like a ghost, taking the path of least resistance because it was safe. You had let your life become a neutral palette because you were afraid of the mess. However, slowly⊠you've been becoming unafraid of that mess.
"Why are you doing this for me?" You ask, your eyes slightly misty.
"Because I've been watching you with the kids. I also saw the photo Jimin sent of his studio wall. You think you forgot how to be an artist, but your hands remembered before your brain did." He stands up, rounding the desk to give your shoulder a supportive squeeze.
You look back down the papers in your hand and slowly flip through them.
"Think about it. No pressure. But just so you know..." He winks, a playful echo of Yoongiâs earlier gesture. "The Rainbow Owl could really use a professional mentor."
The air of the parking lot felt like a shock after the stuffy, glue-scented warmth of the community center. You walk toward your car, the manila folder clutched so tightly to your chest that the edges were starting to curl. Your head is currently spinning at Hobiâs words, the sight of your own name on a teaching degree, and the terrifying realization that your safe life was suddenly full of exits you hadn't realized were unlocked.
â"Leaving without saying goodbye? Thatâs cold, even for an art teacher." Yoongi's voice says from behind you.
âYou jump, spinning around to see Yoongi leaning against the brick pillar of the entryway. Heâd swapped his guitar for his keys, tossing them up and catching them in one fluid motion. He looks relaxed, but his eyes are sharp, immediately landing on the folder you were hugging.
â"Did Hobi give you homework?" He asks, pushing off the pillar and walking toward you. "I told him to give you a break. You already survived the Great Glitter War of 2026."
â"It's not homework," you say, your voice coming out a little breathless. You hesitate, then slowly hold out the folder. "Itâs... itâs me. Or who I was."
âYoongiâs expression shifts, the playful expression disappearing as he takes the folder. He flips it open, and as his eyes scans the transcripts and the diploma, he goes very still. The silence of the parking lot feels heavy. He knows these papers. Heâd probably seen the originals years ago, back when the two of you were planning a life that didn't involve insurance claims and memory gaps.
"Hobiâs been busy." âHe looks up, his gaze unreadable.
â"He says I can go back," you whisper. "He says I just have to file some papers and take a few classes. He makes it sound so easy, Yoongi."
â"And you don't think it is?" He asks.
â"I think itâs impossible!" The outburst surprises even you. You gesture wildly at the folder. "Iâm overwhelmed, Yoongi. I look at those credits⊠Child Psychology, Art HistoryâŠ.and I don't remember sitting in those lectures. I don't remember the tests. Hobi sees me with the kids and thinks I can lead a classroom, but he's wrong. Helping Sophie glue feathers to a toilet paper roll is a Saturday hobby. Teaching? Thatâs... thatâs a responsibility I don't know how to carry anymore."
You look around at your surroundings and shake your head. This whole situation just seems ⊠like a little too much right now.
"I canât teach again. I don't know how. Iâm just a person who processes fender benders and tries not to trip over her own shadow. That girl in those papers... she's gone." âYou feel the sting of tears and look away, focusing on a streetlamp.
Yoongi steps closer, closing the distance until you can smell the faint, comforting scent of coffee that clings to his hoodie. He doesn't reach out. He knows you aren't ready for that yet. However, he stands there absorbing your panic.
â"You're right," he says quietly.
âYou blink, looking back at him in surprise. You expected a pep talk, not an agreement.
â"You aren't that girl," Yoongi continues, his voice steady. "That girl was young and hadn't been through hell yet. But don't you get it? You think teaching is about remembering a textbook. Itâs not. Itâs about what you did today. You didn't just 'do crafts.' You made Minjun feel like his three-headed owl was a masterpiece. You made Sophie feel seen. You were 'doing' it for three hours today without even trying."
âHe steps even closer, his dark eyes searching yours.
"The accident took your memories, but it didn't take your soul. And your soul is a teacher. You can't run away from that just because you're scared of the paperwork." He finishes.
â"I'm terrified, Yoongi," you admit, your voice breaking. âI can't even draw Super-Koo.â
âGood,â Yoongi smiles. âSuper-Koo is kind of stupid.â
"My hands don't remember, Yoongi," you tell him, your voice cracking as you look down at your palms, stained with streaks of neon blue and dried Elmerâs glue. "I can help a six-year-old with a glue stick because thatâs just... mechanics. But a classroom? Parents expecting their kids to learn perspective, shading, color theory? I can't even sketch a basic landscape without my brain short-circuiting. How am I supposed to teach them to find their voice when I can't even find my own brushstroke?"
âThe panic is rising again, that cold, familiar weight in your chest that usually sent you scurrying back to the safety of beige cubicles and predictable spreadsheets. Yoongi lets out a soft hum, a sound that isn't dismissive, but contemplative. He reaches out, finally, and takes the folder back from you, tucking it under his arm so you are forced to look at him.
â"Then be a student first," he says simply.
â "What?" You blink.
â"You're acting like you have to walk into a university lecture hall tomorrow morning and give a speech," he counters. "If your hands don't remember, then give them something new to learn. Take some classes, Y/N. Not the 'Continuing Education' stuff Hobi highlighted. I mean art classes. Go to a studio where nobody knows your name or your medical history. Sit in a room with a bunch of strangers, get charcoal on your face, and fail miserably for a few weeks."
â"Yoongi, I don't have time toâŠ" You try to find a reason to get out of his suggestion.
â"You have nothing but time," he interrupts gently. "You've been spending it all processing insurance claims for people who had bad days. Maybe itâs time to spend some of it on yourself."
âYeahâŠmaybe.â You nod your head, unconvinced and look down at your shoes. You bite your lip, looking up at him through your lashes. âYou knowâŠyou still owe me a day.â
âWhat?â He questions staring at you as you look back up at him.
âI've spent a day with everyone but you,â you inform him. âThe day with Jin at the bakery doesn't count.â
âWhat about you storming into my house and stealing your engagement ring back?â He questions and you try not to smile.
âThat doesn't count either,â you reply.
Yoongi goes silent. He shifts the weight of the manila folder under his arm, his keys jingling softly as he hooks them onto a belt loop. The playful banter about Super-Koo and the chaos of the community center feels like itâs miles away now, replaced by the sounds of the city and the weight of words that haven't been spoken in a long time. He looks down at the asphalt, his tongue darting out to graze his lower lip as he thinks.
"A whole day," he murmurs, more to himself than to you. "Are you sure about that? I mean... really sure, Y/N?"
He takes a half-step closer, his expression softening into something cautious, almost fragile.
"Iâm not Jimin, and Iâm definitely not Taehyung," he says, his dark eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation. "I don't have a 'Glow-Up' plan or an elaborate trip prepared. And after everything⊠the ring, the things kept from you, the way I've been keeping my distance because I didn't want to overwhelm you..."
He pauses, the edges of his mouth twitching with a shadow of a sad, honest smile.
"Spending a whole day with me means thereâs nowhere to hide," he continues. "No kids to use as a buffer. No Hobi to break the tension. Itâs just us. Are you sure you want to be alone with me after everything weâve been through?"
â"I wouldn't have brought it up if I wasn't sure, Yoongi," you say, your voice steadier than it has been in years. "I'm tired of hiding. I've spent enough time in the Beige Void. I think Iâm ready for whatever color is ready to be thrown at me."
âYoongi studies you for a moment. Heâs looking for the flicker of doubt, the twitch of a shoulder that says youâre just being polite. When he finds nothing but your quiet resolve, he lets out a breath he seems to have been holding since you walked out of the center.
â"Okay," he says, the word a soft surrender. He nods, a small, genuine smile finally tugging at the corner of his lips. "Okay. If you're sure, then I'm in."
âHe hands the folder back to you, his fingers lingering against yours for just a second too long. There's a brief, electric contact that makes the neon paint on your skin feel like itâs glowing.
â"Next Saturday?" He asks, confirming the plan. "After weâre done dealing with the Rainbow Owl kids and whatever glitter-based disaster Hobi has planned?"
â"Next Saturday," you agree, clutching the folder to your chest. "After the center."
â"Itâs a date," he says.
He goes silent.
However, he doesn't take it back.
For a second, neither of you moves. Yoongi clears his throat, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck where the skin is still flushed a telltale dusty rose. He looks away toward the street, then back to you, the intense vulnerability from a moment ago morphing into a quiet determination.
â"Drive safe, Y/N," he says, his voice a little lower now, rough around the edges. "Don't let the folder catch fire from all that overthinking you're about to do."
â"I'm not going to overthink it," you lie instantly, lifting your chin.
"Right. Minjun's owl only has three heads for balance." âYoongi lets out a soft, breathy huff that sounds suspiciously like a laugh.
âI'll see you Saturday, Yoongi.â You smile.
You scramble into the driverâs seat, your heart hammering against your ribs so violently you can feel it in your throat. You shove the key into the ignition, throw the car into reverse, and pull out of the parking space without looking back once. You don't dare glance in the rearview mirror to see if Yoongi is still standing there, watching you leave. If you look back, youâre entirely convinced youâll either dissolve into a puddle of neon glitter or sprint right back to him to take it all back.
âA date.
âHe said it. He actually said the word.
A date.
You have a freaking date.
â
The drive to Leahâs house is a blur. You navigate the streets on pure autopilot, the manila folder sitting in the passenger seat next to you. Your mind is a chaotic puddle of goo, bouncing between the image of Yoongiâs pale finger poking a rogue pink feather, the wide-eyed shock on his face when Minjun accused him of liking you, and the drop in his voice when he said it's a date.
âBy the time you pull into Leahâs driveway, your hands are shaking so badly you drop your keys. You fish off the floor, grab the folder, and practically burst through her front door.
âThe lock clicks open, and the familiar, comforting scent of Leahâs living room hits you. Leah is sprawled on the couch with her laptop balanced on her knees and a chip halfway to her mouth. She blinks, taking in your wild eyes, your wind-disheveled hair, and the distinct streaks of neon blue paint still drying on your skin.
â"Whoa," Leah says, slowly lowering the chip. "You look like you just escaped a high-stakes hostage situation at a Michael's craft store."
âYou stand in the entryway, clutching Hobi's manila folder to your chest. You don't take off your shoes. You don't drop your bag. Your brain has completely run out of processing power to filter your thoughts.
â"I have a date," you blurt out.
âThe words hit the quiet room like a firecracker.
âLeah freezes. The laptop screen reflects in her widened eyes. Slowly, meticulously, she sets her chip down on a paper towel. She closes her laptop and slides it onto the coffee table, never breaking eye contact with you.
â"I'm sorry," she says, her voice dangerously calm as she sits up straight. âYou just broke off your engagement to Corbyn and you already have a date?â
"That's exactly what I said," you breathe out, finally kicking off your shoes and dropping the manila folder onto her coffee table. Your hands are still tingling. "I have a date."
"With who, Y/N?!â She exclaims.
"With my ex-fiancé," you say, the words sounding completely bizarre as they leave your mouth.
Leahâs jaw drops so fast youâre worried it might unhinge. She grips the edge of the couch cushion, her knuckles turning white.
"Corbyn?!" She shrieks, her voice hitting a pitch that could shatter glass.
"No! No, not Corbyn!" You scramble to clarify, waving your hands frantically in front of you.
"Yoongi."
Leah freezes, her entire body going rigid as the name hangs in the quiet air of the living room. For three agonizing seconds, she just stares at you, her mouth slightly open, her brain visibly attempting to reboot.
Then, the tension suddenly drains from her shoulders. She sinks back against the couch cushions with a massive, loud exhale, rubbing a hand over her face.
"Oh," she mutters into her palms, her voice muffled. âI completely forgot about the other one for a second."
She drops her hands, looking up at you as you stand there, still covered in the remnants of the day's chaos. Her expression softens, but the protective, sharp line of her jaw returns.
"But wait. Hold on," Leah says, pointing a finger at you. "YoongiâŠ.Honestly, it sounds like a lot."
She shifts on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest and looking at you with a heavy, grounded seriousness.
"I need you to be careful here," she says softly. "You are still navigating a massive blind spot with your memory. Spending a whole day alone with someone who holds an entire chapter of your life that you can't read yet? That's high stakes. Just promise me you're ready for whatever is coming your way."
You look down at the manila folder on the table, the weight of her words settling over you, balanced against the lingering warmth of Yoongi's dusty rose flush in the parking lot.
"I'm sure, Leah," you say quietly. "I meanâŠI'm sure he didn't mean date as in DATE. However, I think I'm finally ready for ⊠whatever happens. I can't be scared anymore."
Leah looks at you for a long, silent moment, searching your face for any sign of the frantic, fragile girl who used to hide behind spreadsheet numbers and neutral-toned cardigans. When she finds only that quiet, stubborn resolve, a soft, proud smile finally breaks through her skepticism.
"Good," she says, leaning forward to pull you to sit next to her. "Tell me every single word he said. Do not leave out a single detail."
The weight of your forgotten past is still out there, heavy and unresolved. The blank spaces in your memory haven't magically filled themselves in, and the prospect of the art classes and reinstated teaching certificates is enough to make your stomach do nervous flips. But as you sit in the warmth of Leahâs living room, listening to the TV and the comfort of your friendâs voice, the cold, paralyzing dread is entirely gone.
You don't know what next Saturday will bring. You don't know what it means to be alone with a man who holds a version of you that youâve lost. You are simply waiting for the weekend. And as you catch sight of your reflection in the windowpane. You're cheeks flushed, hair messy, and eyes wide awake. You realize that whoever you used to be, the person you are becoming right now is finally ready to find out.
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Eventual Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
âTaehyung spins in a slow circle, his eyes wide as he takes in the monochromatic space. He reaches out to touch a velvet throw pillow that is perfectly fluffed, perfectly beige and then pulls his hand back as if it might bite him.
â"Did you... did you actually live here?" Taehyung whispers, his voice echoing off the high ceilings. "Or is this a showroom? I feel like I need to show a ticket to be in here."
"Itâs so... clean. Y/N, Iâve seen hospitals with more personality than that kitchen." âJungkook nudges a white leather ottoman with the toe of his boot. He looks at you, his expression shifting from amusement to something softer. "How did you find anything? Iâd lose myself in all this white."
âYeah,â you murmur trying to laugh it off, glancing around the space like you were seeing it properly for the first time. âThat sounds about right.â
Now that they say it, you can't deny it. Everything is staged. The couch is too straight, the pillows too perfect, and the counters spotless in a way that didn't feel lived-in. It was a space for show, not for a soul. Your fingers trail lightly along the edge of the kitchen island as you walk further in, your touch slow and almost cautious.
âI used to think this place was⊠calming,â you admit quietly. âLike if everything around me stayed neat and controlled, then maybe I wouldnât feel soâŠâ You trail off, the word stuck in your throat.
âLost?â Jungkook offers gently.
âYeah.â You nod, the weight of the realization settling in.
âItâs not calm. Itâs⊠quiet in a weird way. Like itâs waiting for someone who never shows up.â Taehyung hums, his tone softer now as he scans the room.
The observation lands harder than it should have, a dull ache blooming in your chest. You swallow against the tightness in your throat and shake it off, forcing yourself to move.
âOkay. I donât want to stay here.â You blow out a breath and Jungkook doesn't hesitate for a second.
âThen we donât.â He says.
âAlright! Operation: Save Y/N From the Beige Void.â Taehyung claps his hands once.
âPlease stop naming things,â you mutter, with a short laugh.
âAbsolutely not,â he shoots back immediately. âItâs how I cope.â
âWhat do you need to take?â Jungkook is already moving, his eyes scanning the space as he begins planning the logistics of the exit.
You pause, realizing the question was much bigger than the physical items in the room. Your gaze drifts over the spotless counters and untouched appliances of the perfect, empty space. Nothing was yours⊠not really.
âNot much,â you admit. âIt's mostlyâŠhis. It's mainly my bedroom closet, I guess.â
âThen we take what's yours and go.â Taehyung nods.
âBedroomâs this way.â You wave them up the stairs.
The bedroom was exactly what they expected. All neutral tones, clean lines, and a haunting lack of personality.
âWow.â Jungkook steps in first and stops dead.
âOkay, no. This isnât a bedroom. This is a furniture ad.â Taehyung leans against the doorframe, squinting his eyes. âDo you iron the bedding? Where are the wrinkles?â
They move further in, opening drawers and peeking into Corbyn's closet, but they only find more organization and more impersonality.
âY/N⊠thereâs nothing here.â Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, glancing back at you with a furrowed brow.
You walk past him to the nightstand and pull open the drawer. Inside was a charger and a book you didnât remember reading. That was it.
âI donât think I ever actually lived here,â you whisper.
âThen letâs not treat it like you did.â Taehyung tells you.
âOkay.â You inhale slowly, letting the air fill your lungs, and nod. âGrab a bag. Everything in this closet is mine. I'll sort through it when I get to Leah's.â
âGot it.â Jungkook nods immediately, already springing into action.
âIâm helping, but I am judging your wardrobe.â Taehyung pushes off the doorframe and heads straight for the closet.
âPlease do,â you mutter.
They begin pulling things out. Clothes, shoes, random items, and laying them across the bed for you to shove into bags. You didnât join them right away. Instead, your hand slips into your pocket, pulling out the silver ring. It sits in your palm, simple and warm.
Always.
Your thumb traces the engraving, slower this time. Behind you, Taehyungâs voice cuts through the quiet, not looking at you but aware of exactly where you were.
âAre you okay?â He asks.
âYeah. Weâve got time.â Jungkook glances over too, his expression soft.
âI just want to get this over with,â you say, slipping the ring back into your pocket.
âYou know,â Jungkook says. âYou really could have stayed with me and Yura.â
âThanks.â You smile. âButâŠwe're stillâŠ.â
âGetting to know each other,â he finishes and you nod, giving him a small grateful smile.
âYeah,â you murmur, glancing back toward the closet where Taehyung was already halfway buried in hangers. âI just⊠think I need a little space to figure out who I am without⊠all of this.â
Jungkook nods, looking like he understood more than you were saying out loud. For a second, the room falls into a rhythm of rustling fabric, drawers opening, and the soft thud of shoes hitting the bed. Then something clicks in your mind. Your brows pull together slightly as you look between them.
âWaitâŠâ you say. âI thought Hobi was going to come help too?â
Taehyung pauses mid-hanger, slowly turning his head toward Jungkook. Jungkook freezes for half a second. They exchanged a look, and thatâŠmore than anythingâŠmade your stomach twist.
âWhat?â You ask, your voice growing more cautious.
âHe wasâŠâ Jungkook says, his tone careful.
âHe decided to hang out with Yoongi instead.â Taehyung shrugs.
âOh.â The word came out softer than you intended.
âItâs notâŠâJungkook winces. âItâs not like he bailed on you.â
âYoongi was going to come,â Taehyung sighs, dropping the hanger onto the bed as he finally turns fully toward you.
The revelation stuns you. Your fingers instinctively feel for your old ringer over your jeans.
âBut,â Jungkook cut in gently. âWe all kind of figured that would⊠probably end badly.â âYeah. Like your former fiancĂ© âŠ. walking into your other ex-fiancĂ©âs house, emotions already highâŠâ Taehyung nods.
âAnd you trying to figure yourself out in the middle of it.â Jungkook adds.
âSo Hobi stayed with him,â Taehyung tells you. âJust⊠to keep him from doing something impulsive.â
âHe shouldnât need to be kept away,â you say quietly, but Jungkook heard it anyway.
âHeâs not being kept away,â he says gently. âWe are making sure heâs giving you space.â
âOkay.â Taehyung claps his hands again. âI don't know how much time we have here. ButâŠâ He gestures dramatically to the mountain of clothes forming on the bed. âWe still have to defeat the Beige Void Boss Level: Closet Edition.â
âRight.â You laugh, as you start stuffing them into a bag.
The three of you work in a surprisingly efficient rhythm, stuffing the remnants of your life into a few mismatched suitcases. Taehyung makes good on his promise to judge your wardrobe, holding up a particularly bland white sweater with two fingers like itâs a biohazard.
"This stays," he declares, tossing it back into the depths of the empty closet. "Itâs a ghost of a garment, Y/N. Weâre only taking things with a pulse."
"That's it," Jungkook says, zipping the final bag shut. "Letâs get out of here before the walls try to hypnotize us."
As you reach the bottom of the stairs, the front door clicks open. Corbyn steps inside, checking his watch before looking up. He stops in the main entryway, his eyes immediately landing on the suitcases, then tracking upward to Taehyung and Jungkook. He straightens his shoulders, his expression shifting into that familiar mask of polished composure, though his eyes clearly say something different.
Taehyung is the first to break the strange silence. He doesn't move. He just stands with one hand resting casually on the handle of your suitcase, his eyes scanning the pristine, white-on-white entryway.
"Man..." Taehyung starts, his voice a low drawl. "Seriously... how do you keep your house so dust-free? Do you have a specialized vacuum?"
âWhat kind of hair product do you use?â Jungkook asks. âNot a single hair out of place.â
"Are they making fun of me?" Corbyn asks you in genuine wonder.
You look at Taehyung, who was now examining a glass vase like it was a prehistoric artifact, and then at Jungkook, who looks like he was one comment away from checking the underside of the kitchen island for fingerprints.
"Iâm not entirely sure," you say, your voice steadier than you expected as you adjusted the strap of your bag. "But... yeah. I think so."
Corbynâs gaze flickers to the suitcases at the base of the stairs, then back to you. The presence of the two men clearly agitated the pristine order of his world, but he ignored them, focusing entirely on your face.
ââY/N,â he says, his voice dropping into that measured, persuasive tone he used for negotiations. âCan we talk? Just for a moment. Alone.â
âJungkook steps forward immediately, his shoulder partially blocking Corbynâs line of sight. The protective softness heâd shown in the bedroom vanished, replaced by a cold, immovable wall of muscle.
âI think sheâs done with the talking part of the day,â Jungkook tells him, his voice flat and final. âWeâve got the bags. Weâre leaving.â
âTaehyung doesn't move, but his playful energy changes into something watchful. He remains leaning against the banister, his eyes narrow as he tracks Corbynâs every expression.
âSurely you can give me five minutes, Y/N,â Corbyn says to you.
ââItâs okay,â you say, reaching out to lightly touch Jungkookâs arm. He tenses under your fingers, but you gave him a small, reassuring nod. âItâs fine. Just give me a minute. Iâll meet you at the car.â
âWeâll be right outside,â he mutters, more of a promise to Corbyn than a statement to you.
âHe grabs the heaviest suitcases, Taehyung following suit with the smaller bags. As Taehyung passes Corbyn, he doesn't say a word, but the look of pure, unadulterated boredom he sends the man was louder than any insult. The heavy front door clicks shut behind them, leaving the house in silence once more.
ââTheyâre⊠loud,â Corbyn remarks, his voice echoing. He paced a small circle, finally stopping a few feet away from you. He looks at the door, then back to you, a strange, tight curiosity in his expression. âSo, which one is he?â
âWhich one is who?â âYou blink, momentarily thrown.
ââThe ex-fiancĂ©,â Corbyn says. âThe one with the attitude, or the one who looks like heâs ready to throw a punch?â
âNeither,â you say quietly. âYou do realize I'm not leaving you because of Yoongi, right? I'm leaving because I'm not happy. I'm leaving because you lied to me this whole time. I'm leaving to find myself.â
âFinding yourself,â he repeats quietly, like heâs trying to understand the phrase instead of dismissing it. âY/N⊠I thought that was the point. I thought if I handled everything⊠if I made things stable⊠you wouldnât have to struggle.â
âIt was preservation, Corbyn. Not stability.â You shake your head. âYou didnât build a life with me. You loved the version of me they handed to you, Corbyn. I donât even know if that girl was real.â
Corbyn looks around the house, his gaze lingering on the spot where the suitcases had been just moments ago. For the first time, he looks slightly out of his depth.
âAnd you think those twoâŠ.and the ghost of this fiancĂ© are going to help you find this happiness? Theyâre chaos, Y/N,â Corbyn says softly, almost helplessly. âAnd maybe that works for them, but⊠I spent years trying to make sure nothing could hurt you. Your parents said you needed safety. Structure.â
âMaybe I need a little chaos,â you say, moving toward the door. You don't want to give him another five minutes. You don't even want to give him another thirty seconds. âAt least in chaos, you know something is actually happening. You know people are actually living.â
You reach for the handle of the heavy front door, but you pause, looking back at him one last time.
âDon't worry about the dust,â you tell him, a tiny, sharp spark of Taehyungâs wit catching in your voice. âIâm taking all my personality with me. It should stay perfectly clean in here now.â
You step out onto the porch, the door clicks shut behind you. Down by the curb, Jungkook is leaning against the trunk of the car, his arms crossed, while Taehyung is halfway out of the passenger window, waving you over like you were a long-lost traveler returning from war.
âIs the boss defeated?â Taehyung calls out as you approach. âDid you get the Rare Loot: Your Sanity?â
âYou okay?â Jungkook pushes off the car, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress. Seeing the small, genuine smile on your face, his own expression relaxes into something warm.
âYeah,â you tell him, breathing out a sigh that felt like it had been held for years. âIâm great. Letâs go.â
âLeahâs house is the polar opposite of where youâd just come from. There was a pile of mail on the entryway table, a faint scent of vanilla and a colorful rug that was definitely not beige.
â"I cleared out the guest room." Leah smiles, leading the way. "Itâs got a window that gets great morning light. And more importantly, the walls are a color that actually exists in nature."
"See? This is a room. Look at thatâŠa stray thread on the carpet. Evidence of life. I love it." âTaehyung steps into the room and immediately hums in approval.
â"We can help you unpack," Jungkook offers, looking toward the mountain of luggage. "Or we can just get these out of the way so you and Leah can... do whatever it is you guys do."
â"Actually," Leah says, leaning against the doorframe and looking at the two men. "I think what she needs is a glass of wine and a long vent session."
âYou look around the room. At the patterned curtains and the slightly scuffed floorboards and for the first time in a long time, you didn't feel like you had to be careful where you stepped.
â"Thanks, guys," you say, looking at Jungkook and Taehyung. "Really. I don't think I could have done that alone."
â"You're never alone," he says quietly, his voice lacking its usual teasing edge while he lingers for a moment. "Just remember that. We're a phone call away."
"Operation: Save Y/N is officially complete. Transitioning to Phase Two: The Glow-Up." âTaehyung gives a dramatic salute.
âAs they head back down the stairs, you hear Taehyung ask Leah if she had any snacks for the road, his voice fading as the front door finally shut, leaving you and Leah in the comfortable, messy silence of your new beginning.
Leah doesn't say anything right away. She waits until the front door clicks shut, until Taehyungâs voice fades down the street, and until the house settles back into its natural, lived-in quiet. Only then does she hand you a glass of wine and nods toward the bed.
âSit,â she commands softly. You obey, exhaling as you sink down, your body finally catching up to the whirlwind of the day. Leah pulls the desk chair closer and sits across from you, studying your face.
âIâm not going to lie,â she says, her voice a little softer than usual. âPart of me is still in shock that you actually did it.â
âMoved out?â You let out a small breath of a laugh, asking.
âLeft him.â She corrects you.
âYeah.â You look down at your glass of wine and Leah tilts her head watching you.
âI always liked Corbyn,â she admits, her tone not defensive, just factual. âHe was⊠reliable. Predictable. The kind of person you donât have to worry about.â
âI know,â you reply, while nodding faintly, acknowledging the truth in that.
âBut,â she adds quickly, her tone shifting to something clearer. âLiking someone and thinking theyâre right for you arenât the same thing. And right now? I donât want you going back to him just because itâs familiar.â
âIâm not.â You swallow, your fingers tightening slightly around the stem of your glass.
âI know,â she says softly. âI just want to make sure you donât start second-guessing yourself later. Because you will. Thatâs normal.â
âI saw him,â you tell her and Leahâs attention sharpens instantly as she stares at you.
âAt the house?â She questions making you nod.
âHe came home while we were leaving. Wanted to talk to me. Alone. Like everything was still⊠fixable if we just had the right conversation.â You explain and Leah hums under her breath, processing the information.
âThat sounds like him,â she says after a moment.
âIt does?â You blink in surprise and she shrugs lightly.
âYeah. Corbynâs not a bad person. He just⊠solves problems the way he understands them. If somethingâs wrong, he thinks thereâs a conversation or a plan that can fix it.â She explains.
âBut Iâm not a problem to fix,â you counter.
âI know.â She nods gently. âBut ⊠you have to understand. Your parents lied to him too.â
You stare down into your wine, watching the surface shift faintly beneath your grip. At first, your instinct is to reject it. Corbyn had made his own choices. He had ignored your unhappiness. He had built a life around you instead of with you.
But slowly, painfully, another thought slips in beside it.
He really did think he was loving you correctly.
You think back to the house. To the spotless counters. The rigid schedules. The perfectly arranged furniture. The way he talked about stability like it was the highest form of care someone could offer another person.
Your mother loved that about him.
Your father respected it.
Reliable. Responsible. Controlled.
Leah watches the realization cross your face without interrupting it.
âHe wasnât trying to trap you,â she says carefully. âAt least⊠I donât think he thought he was.â
âNo,â you murmur quietly. âI donât think he did either.â
The admission aches more than anger would have. Because anger would make this cleaner. Easier.
But this? This was sad.
âI think he genuinely believed if everything around me was perfect enough⊠then I would be okay.â You lean back slightly against the wall behind the bed, exhaling slowly.
âAnd your parents probably reinforced that every chance they got.â Leah nods.
âGod.â You laugh bitterly and rub a hand over your face. âDo you know what the worst part is?â
âWhat?â She asks.
âI let him.â You answer. âFor a while it felt nice having someone else make all the decisions. Everything was so organized. Predictable. I never had to think too hard about anything. I thought feeling safe meant feeling numb.â You glance toward the window.
âThatâs not your fault.â Leahâs expression softens immediately.
âNo,â you say after a moment. âBut it is my responsibility now.â
âSo, have you thought about work yet?â She asks after a moment and your stomach drops immediately.
âI was trying not to,â you admit.
âFair,â she says. âBut itâs coming whether you think about it or not.â
You groan quietly, leaning back on your hands, knowing she was right. You could already picture the office, the routine, and the normalcy that wasn't normal anymore.
âHeâs going to act like nothing happened if I see him,â you predict.
âMaybe.â She nods. âOr⊠he might try to talk to you again. Properly this time.â
âThatâs worse.â You frown at the thought, but Leah shakes her head.
âNot necessarily. It just means youâll need to be clear.â She tells you and you look at her doubtfully.
âI donât know if I can do that without it turning into⊠something.â You warn her.
âThen donât let it turn.â She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. âIf you see him at work, keep it simple. You donât owe him a full emotional conversation in the middle of the office. Be firm and walk away.â
âOkay.â You gave a small, uncertain
âIf itâs work-related, you handle it. If itâs not?â She shrugs. âYou tell him youâre not having that conversation there.â You hesitate, worried about what your coworkers might think.
âThat feels⊠cold.â You tell her.
âItâs not cold. Itâs appropriate.â She smiles tightly at you.
âAnd if he keeps pushing?â You ask and Leah thinks for a second.
âThen you repeat yourself,â she tells you and takes a breath. âHonestly though, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Corbyn is professional. Too worried about his image to make a scene.â
âDoâŠdo you think Iâm making a mistake?â You look at her and asked quietly,
âNo. I think youâre doing something hard. He was good on paper,â she says with a small tug of a smile. âBut you donât live on paper.â
âNo,â you murmur. âI guess I donât.â
â"To not living on paper," Leah says softly, raising her glass.
"To a little bit of chaos." âYou offer a genuine smile, clinking your glass against hers.
âThe wine is sweet, the room is warm, and outside the window, the sun is finally beginning to set, casting long, golden shadows across the mismatched bedding. You are starting over from scratch, with a suitcase full of clothes that actually have a pulse, a pocket holding a promise of always, and a world that is no longer neatly arranged in shades of beige.
âIt's messy. It's uncertain. But as you take another breath of the vanilla-scented air, you realize it's the first time in years you've felt entirely, undeniably alive.
The hot water had done its job, washing away the lingering chill of Corbynâs home and the physical tension of the move. You step out of the shower wrapped in one of Leahâs plush towels, feeling more like a human being and less like a hollowed-out version of yourself. The air in the bathroom was thick with steam.
âYou make your way into the guest room, pulling on a pair of oversized sweatpants and a worn-out t-shirt. You kneel by one of the open suitcases, beginning the slow process of moving your belongings into the small dresser Leah had cleared for you.
âMid-fold, your phone vibrates against the hardwood floor. The sharp buzz-buzz makes you jump slightly.
âYou pick it up, expecting a check in from the group chat or maybe a message from Leah downstairs asking about dinner. Instead, your breath hitches when you see the name on the screen. It isn't the group thread.
It was a direct message.
âYoongi: I heard Taehyung and Jungkook were giving your ex a hard time at the house today.
âYou sit back on your heels, the fabric of a sweater forgotten in your hands. You watch the screen, seeing the typing bubbles appear and disappear before the next line pops up.
âYoongi: They shouldn't have done that.
âA strange mix of emotions swirl in your chest. You could almost hear his voice. You thought back to what Taehyung and Jungkook had said earlier, about Hobi staying behind to keep Yoongi from doing something impulsive.
âIt was ironic, really. The one person everyone was worried would cause a scene was now the one calling out the others for their lack of decorum.
âYou stare at the silver ring now resting on the nightstand, then back at the glowing screen. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard, unsure if you should defend the boys' chaotic loyalty or acknowledge the unexpected weight of Yoongiâs disapproval.
You stare at the two messages, your thumb still hovering over the screen. Thereâs a strange comfort in the fact that even through a text, Yoongi sounds like heâs sighing. He isn't making excuses for himself. Heâs holding the others to a standard of restraint heâs clearly struggling to maintain himself.
You type back quickly, your heart doing a slow, heavy roll in your chest.
You: They didn't do anything too bad. It's okay.
You hit send before you can overthink it. You don't mention that you know Hobi had to stay behind to keep him from charging over there. You don't mention keeping the ring with you. You just let the words sit there. It's a small bridge between the two of you.
Setting the phone down, you crawl onto the bed. The mattress is a little softer than your old one, the sheets smelling faintly of Leahâs laundry detergent. Itâs a relief to finally be horizontal.
As you turn onto your side, your gaze catches on the corner of the nightstand. There, tucked behind a lamp, is your old phone. Itâs heavy with secrets, with old photos and unsent drafts that Corbyn never would have understood. It feels like itâs calling to you, a jagged little piece of your soul that youâve been ignoring for far too long.
You reach out, your fingers grazing the fractured glass, and pull it into the covers with you. Getting comfortable against the pillows, you press the power button, waiting for the glow to hit your face. The screen flickers to life, the harsh light bleeding through the fractures in the glass. As the pixels settle, the wallpaper resolves into a burst of color.
Itâs the pier.
Where all of you were crowded barefoot together, a chaotic mess of wind-whipped hair and genuine grins. Now that you know. Now that the truth of that day has been revealed. You can see it in Yoongiâs and your expression. The two of you aren't just posing for a photo with friends. You are looking at the camera knowing your entire world is about to change because the man who loved you more than anything tried to make you his forever.
Your heart thumps a frantic, uneven rhythm against your ribs, a dull ache blooming behind your chest. Itâs too much to look at, yet impossible to turn away from.
Blinking rapidly, you quickly enter into your gallery and go into your videos.The timestamps blur as your finger drags down the screen until the colors shift becoming brighter and louder. Your breath catches as you tap a video without allowing yourself time to overthink it.
It opens with a jolt of movement and the sound of your own voice, sounding so startlingly alive that it makes you flinch. The camera is angled poorly at first, pointed up toward your chin before you adjust it, grinning widely at the lens. Youâre sitting cross-legged on the floor, textbooks opened around you like a failed attempt at productivity amidst a mess of highlighters, sticky notes, and a half-open laptop. It is absolute chaos, and sitting right next to you is Yura.
Sheâs hunched over her notes, muttering something under her breath with her hair falling into her face as she aggressively underlines a sentence. You, on the other hand, look far too amused.
âOkay,â you whisper dramatically to the camera. âBreaking news.â
âIf this is about you failing that quiz, I already know.â Yura doesnât even look up as she dryly retorts.
ââItâs not about the quiz,â you whisper-hiss, your eyes dancing with mischief. âItâs about the fact that Yura has been staring at the same page for twenty minutes because Jungkook just walked past the library window.â
âYuraâs head snaps up, her pen skidding across her notebook and leaving a jagged blue streak across her notes.
âI have not! I am studying the socioeconomic impacts ofâŠof stuff!â She glares.
ââStuff? Really?â You let out a loud, bright laugh that echoes through the quiet library, drawing a sharp shush from a nearby table. You donât care. You turn the camera toward her, catching the way her cheeks are flushed a deep, indignant pink. âSheâs in love, folks. Truly, madly, deeply distracted.â
ââIâm going to kill you!â Yura yells, though itâs a stage whisper. She drops her highlighter and lunges across the pile of textbooks, her hands outstretched like claws. âHe's annoying. I can't stand him!â
âThe video turns into a blur of motion. All you can see is the ceiling, the carpet, a stray sneaker as you shriek with laughter, scrambling backward on your elbows to escape her. The sound of your own joy on the recording is jarring. Itâs a loud, uninhibited sound that feels entirely foreign to you.
ââTake it back!â Yuraâs voice is muffled as she finally tackles your arm, her face appearing briefly in the frame, grinning despite herself as she tries to snatch the phone away.
ââNever!â You gasp out, breathless and wheezing. âOH MY GOD YOU REALLY DO!â
âThe video cuts out abruptly with a final, joyful thud of the phone hitting the carpet.
For a second, you donât move.
Then your lips press together before they curve into something small and real. A quiet exhale leaves you, almost like a laugh that didnât fully make it out.
âWe were so loud,â you murmur to yourself.
Your thumb hovers over the screen, tracing the frozen image where it stopped. Yura half in frame, your arm blurred mid-defense, the chaos of it all caught in one imperfect second.
Your head tilts slightly against the pillow.
Your teeth catch your bottom lip, gently, as your brows pull together not in sadness exactly, but in something more complicated.
Thoughtful.
Like youâre trying to piece together a version of yourself that feels familiar but just out of reach.
âI donât even recognize her,â you whisper, though thereâs no real bite to it.
Your gaze softens, lingering on the screen a second longer before your thumb taps back, returning to the gallery. Rows of moments stare back at you. Tiny squares of color and movement, all louder than anything youâve lived in recently. Pressing a random square you do your best to prepare yourself for what you are about to find.
âStep fourteen, Insert screw H into slot B while holding panel four at a forty-five-degree angle. Note: Do not overtighten.â On video you says.
âThe camera pans up, and the scene is absolute madness. You are sitting on the floor of the boys' dorm, cross-legged. You are literally shimmering. Fine, iridescent craft glitter is dusted across your forehead, your cheeks, and your sweater like a disco ball exploded in your vicinity.
âIn the center of the room, Namjoon is surrounded by several slabs of black metal and dark wood. He looks like heâs trying to solve a Rubikâs Cube thatâs fighting back.
ââI donât understand,â Namjoon mutters, wiping sweat from his brow, oblivious to the fact that he now has a streak of silver glitter on his forehead from where he probably touched you earlier. âIf I hold panel four, I donât have a third hand for the screw.â
ââEvolution failed you, Joon,â Taehyung chimes in.
Heâs sitting on the edge of a bed, unhelpful and regal, tossing a singular wooden dowel into the air and catching it. âThe camera swings to the right, catching Yoongi. He is standing by a desk, arms crossed, staring at the bed Taehyung is sitting on with a look of pure horror.
ââY/N,â Yoongi says, his voice a low warning. âDo not. Move.â
ââWhat? Iâm helping!â You chirp, shaking the instructions at him. A small cloud of glitter drifts off the paper.
ââYou are shedding,â Yoongi says, pointing a finger at you. âYou are a biological hazard. If one speck of that shit touches my pillowcase, Iâm sleeping in the hallway. Do not get near my bed.â
ââOh, come on,â Jiminâs voice comes from behind the camera. The lens shakes with his giggling. âSheâs like a magical fairy. Don't you want a magical fairy in your room?â
ââI want a clean room,â Yoongi snaps, though the corner of his mouth twitches.
ââTae, she looks sad,â Jimin says, his voice dropping into a mock-serious tone. âI think she needs a hug to feel better about her instructions.â
âTaehyungâs eyes light up. He stands up on the bed, pointing dramatically at Yoongi.
âYouâre right, Jimin. Y/N! Give him a hug! Heâs being mean about the sparkles!â Taehyung points at Yoongi.
ââNo,â Yoongi says, backing up half a step. âNo. Stay there.â
ââHug him! Hug him! Hug him!â Jimin starts chanting, his voice getting louder.
ââHUG HIM! HUG HIM!â Taehyung joins in, jumping rhythmically on the mattress.
You look at the camera, a predatory, glittery grin spreading across your face. You drop the instruction manual. It hits the floor with a soft thud. You scramble to your feet.
ââY/N, I am warning youâŠ.!â Yoongi starts, but itâs too late.
âWith a joyful shriek, you launch yourself at him. You don't just hug him. You tackle him. Yoongiâs survival instinct kicks in. Even though heâs complaining, his arms instinctively go out to catch you, his hands locking around your waist to steady your weight.
âThe momentum is too much.
ââCRAPâŠâ Yoongi grunts as the two of you topple backward, landing directly in the center of his perfectly made bed.
ââMY MATTRESS!â Yoongi yells, even as youâre buried in his chest, laughing so hard youâre shaking more glitter into his hair.
ââSHEâS MARKING HER TERRITORY!â Taehyung screams in delight.
âAt that exact moment, a deafening CRACK echoes through the room. The camera whips around to Namjoon. He is standing over a pile of collapsed metal. He had tried to use the distraction to force a piece into place, and the entire shelving unit had folded like a house of cards.
ââUh,â Namjoon says, holding a snapped piece of wood. âI think... I think I broke Step Fourteen.â
âJoon,â Jimin groans.
ââMy thumb!â Namjoon suddenly yelps, hopping on one foot. âI pinched my thumb!â
âThe video descends into chaos. Jimin falls over laughing, Taehyung diving off the bed to check on Namjoon, and the camera finally hitting the floor. The last thing the audio catches is Yoongiâs resigned, muffled voice from under you.
ââGreat. The shelf is dead, Namjoon is wounded, and Iâm going to be sparkling until Iâm eighty. Are you happy?â Yoongi asks.
ââVery,â your voice whispers.
âThe video ends.
âYou canât stop thinking about the moment he caught you. It wasn't a conscious choice he made. There was no hesitation. It was just reflex. You had launched yourself into the air without a single doubt that the world, and Yoongi had stepped into the impact like it was the only thing he was meant to do.
âA sudden, sharp heat climbs into your cheeks. Itâs not the sting of embarrassment. Itâs the overwhelming, late-to-the-party realization of just how much space you occupied in his life.
ââOh my god,â you whisper, the words catching in the quiet of the room.
âIt wasn't just the tackle. It was the way he looked at you once you were both tangled in his sheets. The specific, soft exasperation look in his eyes. He looked entirely, hopelessly doomed.
âWhy did nobody stop me?â You mutter. âHow was I that blind?â
A small, helpless smile tugs at your lips.
â"Doomed," you whisper, shaking your head at the sheer absurdity of your younger self. "You were so completely doomed."
âFor a long minute, you just lie there, letting the phantom sound of Taehyungâs dramatic shouting and Jiminâs breathless giggles wash over you. You think about that girl in the video. That girl in the video, the one covered in craft glitter and throwing herself into the arms of a boy who pretended to be grumpy but always caught her. She wasn't gone. She was just buried under a mountain of beige velvet pillows and polite, suffocating expectations.
âYou shift on your side, the mattress creaking softly under your weight, and tap the screen to bring the gallery back to life.
For a second, the camera points nowhere useful. It was just the dark sky, flashes of firelight, a glimpse of someoneâs knee before it steadies upright on what appears to be a cooler.
The beach stretches out under the deep navy sky, waves rolling endlessly in the background while the bonfire crackles bright and crackling at the center of everything.
You and Jimin are closest to the camera, both holding sparklers that spit gold light wildly into the dark. Jimin twirls dramatically through the sand like heâs starring in a music video nobody asked for.
âBe honest,â he says breathlessly. âI look magical right now.â
âTwirl my tiny dancer!â You laugh. âTwirl!â
The two of you start dancing in ridiculous circles around the fire, sparkler trails cutting bright streaks through the night while Jimin nearly trips over his own feet. Your laugh rings through the recordingâŠ.full-bodied and completely uninhibited.
Further behind you, Taehyung and Jungkook are crouched beside a cluster of fireworks boxes. You all probably should have been more concerned then what you were.
âNo, noâŠhold it steady,â Jungkook says.
âI am holding it steady.â Taehyung hissed.
âItâs literally leaning.â Jungkook snapped.
âThatâs because the sand is uneven!â Taehyung grits out.
âThatâs because you buried half of it sideways!âJungkook shoots back.
Near the bonfire, Jin and Yoongi sit with roasting sticks balanced over the flames. Jin is focused entirely on cooking while Yoongi looks like he regrets agreeing to this outing approximately three hours ago.
âYou burned mine again,â Jin complains.
âThen cook it yourself.â Yoongi doesnât even look up.
âI was trusting you.â Jin tells him.
âThat was your first mistake.â Yoongi looks at him.
In the background, Hobi and Yura sit wrapped in a blanket together, talking quietly while Yura occasionally bursts into laughter at something Hobi says.
And then thereâs Namjoon.
Standing proudly beside an alarmingly large firework launcher.
âGuys,â he announces with absolute confidence, âI figured it out.â
Every single person reacts negatively.
âNo you didnât,â Yoongi says immediately.
âPlease donât touch it,â Jungkook adds.
âThat sentence has never ended well.â Hobi points accusingly from the blanket pile.
âThere was just a stabilization issue before.â Namjoon ignores all of you.
âWhy are you talking about it like itâs a science project?â Taehyung slowly straightens from the fireworks setup.
âBecause it is science.â Namjoon stresses.
âItâs explosives!â Jin yells.
Namjoon crouches beside the launcher, fiddling with something near the base while everyone watches with growing concern.
âI fixed the angle,â he says proudly and Yoongi finally looks up from the fire.
âThat,â he says flatly. âIs how someone loses a finger.â
Namjoon lights the fuse anyway.
Everyone waits.
Nothing happens.
The beach goes strangely quiet except for crashing waves and the crackle of the bonfire.
âSee?â Namjoon says triumphantly. âPerfect.â
âI donât trust quiet fireworks.â Jimin lowers his sparkler suspiciously.
One by one, everyone slowly starts moving closer. Even you drift toward it, sparkler still fizzing weakly in your hand.
âMaybe the fuse died.â Jungkook squints.
âCan fireworks die?â Taehyung asks seriously.
âEverything dies,â Yoongi mutters.
âI think maybe the ignition disconnectedâŠâ Namjoon kneels closer to inspect it.
The firework SCREAMS to life as everyone stands around it.
The video erupts instantly into pure chaos.
The launcher shoots across the sand horizontally like itâs possessed, spraying sparks violently while everyone starts screaming over each other.
âOH MY GODâŠ.â
âNAMJOON!â
âWHY IS IT MOVING?!â
âRUN!â
The camera shakes from the force of footsteps pounding past it. Jimin disappears out of frame shrieking while Taehyung abandons Jungkook completely in the name of self-preservation.
The firework veers dangerously toward the bonfire area and Yoongi moves instantly.
He doesnât hesitate.
One second heâs by the fire. The next heâs grabbing your wrist and yanking you backward hard enough that you nearly lose your footing in the sand. You let out a startled yelp that dissolves into helpless laughter as he drags you away from the chaos.
âYoongiâŠ!â You yell.
âMove!â He shouts.
âI am moving!â You laugh.
âYouâre laughing!â He yells.
Because you are. Completely breathless, stumbling through the sand while sparks explode somewhere behind you. The firework finally shoots harmlessly toward the shoreline before exploding in a burst of gold over the water.
Everyoneâs yelling overlaps at once afterward.
âNamjoon almost killed us!â
âIt curved!â
âWHY DID IT CURVE?!â
The phone keeps recording from its abandoned spot in the sand, tilted slightly toward the aftermath.
And in the middle of the chaos, you and Yoongi are still standing there near the edge of the frame. His hand is still wrapped tightly around your wrist but neither of you seem to realize it yet. Your head is tipped back laughing breathlessly while Yoongi stares at you like heâs halfway between annoyed and relieved youâre okay.
âWow.â Yuraâs voice cuts through the background chaos dramatically.
âYoongi grabbed Y/N first.â Jimin laughs.
âShut up,â he says flatly as he drops your wrist.
âWAITâŠHE DID.âTaehyung gasps loudly from somewhere off-screen.
âNo, I didnât,â Yoongi snaps.
âYou literally launched yourself at her like a romantic action hero!â Taehyung exclaims.
âIt was a basic survival instinct!â Yoongi defends himself.
âWhy didn't you grab me like that?!â Jungkook yells.
Yoongi looks one second away from walking directly into the ocean. You⊠you are still breathless from laughing and running. However, you canât stop smiling.
Thereâs a ghost of a sensation in your arm, a phantom pull that makes your skin tingle. You look at your own hand, flex it. Without letting yourself hesitate, you reach for your current phone. You open the message thread with Yoongi. Your heart is hammering against your ribs, a frantic rhythm that matches the chaos of the firework in the video.
You: So, I just watched a video where Namjoon almost killed us all with a firework.
You hold your breath.
The typing bubbles appear almost instantly.
Yoongi: I told him not to bring that thing. He didn't listen.
Yoongi: You're going through the old phone again?
Your fingers tremble slightly as you type back.
You: Yeah. I looked happy.
Yoongi: You were.
Yoongi: We all were.
Yoongi: Except for the part where I almost had to tackle you.
A small laugh escapes you.
You: Taehyung said you looked like a romantic action hero.
Yoongi: Taehyung talks too much.
Yoongi: I just didn't want to have to explain to the paramedics why you were burnt to a crisp.
You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes. The image of him dragging you back plays on the back of your eyelids.
You: Thank you.
Yoongi: For what?
You: For grabbing me first.
The reply takes a long time. When it finally comes, it makes your hands shake.
Yoongi: Always.
<Next>
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Eventual Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
A/N: NEW POSTING UPDATE:
Now that whispered is over⊠I am severely behind on Replay. I might skip a Before I Forget update next week to focus on Replay and I would also like to get you all the next Overtime out finally after pausing it. That chapter is done, it just needs editing.
Bookends and Ballads will still be out soon. I just need to decide to either drop the Two-Shot all at once or one chapter at a time. lol ⊠hard decisions.
The drive to Yura and Jungkookâs is a blur of a white-knuckle grip on a steering wheel and shallow breathing. Every time you glance at the passenger seat where the old phone lays, the cracked screen seems to mock you.
ââToo late. I already said yes.â
âThose six words shattered everything. You didnât just date him. You didn't just have a past. You had committed yourself to a man. A man you were clearly happy with.
âAs you reach their door, you don't knock. You hammer your fist against it. The door swings open, and Jungkook stands there, his hair messy and a half-eaten sandwich in his hand. His easy grin vanishes the second he sees your face. He doesn't even have to look at the phone in your hand to know.
â"Y/NâŠ" He tries, but you don't let him finish.
â"Where is she?" Your voice was sharp. You weren't here to mess around. "Where is Yura?"
â"In the kitchen," he mutters, stepping back.
He looks uncharacteristically small, his shoulders pulling in as if he were bracing for a physical blow. âYou storm in the house past him. Yura is sitting at a small table, a laptop open in front of her. She looks up, her expression shifting from surprise to shock, when she sees the way your eyes are red-rimmed and watery. âYou don't say anything as you slam the phone onto the table top between you. The screen flickers, showing the frozen frame of the silver ring.
â"Where did you get that?" Yuraâs hands shake as she closes her laptop. âKook!â
â"No! Donât you get mad at him!" You shout, the sound echoing off the high ceilings. "I spent years thinking I was broken. I spent years letting my mother pick out my clothes and Corbyn pick out my life because I thought I didn't have one of my own! I thought I was a ghost!"
âYou point a trembling finger at the screen.
â"I was engaged to him. I was living a life with him. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me?â You look between Yura and Jungkook. âAll this time I've been spending with all of you and no one told me anything.â
"We wanted to," Jungkook says quietly, joining you from the doorway. He has abandoned the sandwich on a side table, his hands now shoved deep into his pockets. "God, Y/N, do you know how many times I almost tripped over my own tongue? Seeing you walk around like a stranger in your own skin... it killed us."
â"Then why?" You choke out, your voice cracking. "If it killed you, why let me keep drowning?"
"Because it wasn't our place to tell you that part. Not that part. Not the ring, or the promises, or the way you used to look at him." âYura finally looks up, her eyes swimming with guilt.
âBecause he asked us not to.â Jungkook exhales.
âWhat?â Your head snaps toward him.
âKookâŠâ Yura closes her eyes for a second, like she knew it was coming.
âNo,â he says, shaking his head, voice rough now. âShe deserves to know that much.â
Your pulse spikes again, something sharp and hot crawling up your spine. The secrets just keep coming.
âHe asked you not to tell me?â You repeat, slower this time. âHe made that decision?â
âIt wasnât like thatâŠâ Yura tries.
âThen what was it like?â You cut in, your voice rising again. âBecause from where Iâm standing, it sounds like he got to decide what I remember and what I donât!â
âHe didnât decide what you remember,â Jungkook says firmly. âThat was⊠everything else.â He gestures vaguely. âWe've been honest about your past with us. Just notâŠ.â He swallows. âHe asked us not to say anything.â
âThatâs insane.â Your laugh is sharp, disbelieving.
âIt wasnât easy,â Jungkook adds quickly, stepping closer now. âYou think I wanted to pretend I didnât know? That I didnât see it every time you looked at him like he was just⊠some guy?â
âWe argued about it.â Yuraâs voice is softer when she speaks again.
âWhat?â Your eyes flick to her.
âWe didnât all agree,â she admits. âThere were nightsâŠ.God, so many nightsâŠwhere we thought about just telling you anyway. Sitting you down and laying everything out.â
âThen why didnât you?â You whisper
Yuraâs mouth opens, a sharp intake of breath that suggests sheâs finally going to break the silence. Then it closes. Behind you, the floorboards groan. Jungkook is shifting, his energy restless. Youâre waiting for the spark of guilt to catch, for him to look away in shame, but his posture isn't defensive. He doesn't look like a man caught in a lie. Heâs justâŠ.stuck.
âThen why didnât you?â You repeat. Your voice has lost its edge, dropping into a low, hollow register.
Yura exhales a long, shaky breath and she looks at you. Her eyes then go to your old phone, staring at the ring suspended in time on your broken screen.
âI canât answer that,â she says. Itâs so quiet you almost miss it.
âWhat do you mean you canât?â Your brows pull together, frustration bubbling back up through the cracks of your exhaustion. âItâs a simple question, Yura. Why?â
âYou need to talk to Yoongi,â Jungkook interrupts.
His voice is steady, but thereâs an underlying note of warning thereâŠor maybe it's pity.
Your jaw tightens, a dull ache beginning to pulse in your temples.
âAnd whatâŠ.heâs just going to explain everything? Tie it up neatly with a bow?â You ask with a laugh.
Jungkook meets your eyes then, and for the first time, you see the exhaustion mirrored there. He shakes his head slowly, a grim smile on his face.
âNo,â he says, the honesty of it hitting like a physical blow. âProbably not.â
You throw your hands up as Yura moves. Itâs a slow, deliberate motion, like sheâs finally crossed a threshold she spent years avoiding. She reaches for the notebook beside her laptop. It has frayed edges and the pages softened by constant use. You watch her, your confusion mounting as she flips through the pages finding a clean piece of paper.
âWhat are you doing?â You ask, the fight leaving your voice, replaced by exhaustion.
She doesnât answer immediately. She simply grips the edge of a page and pulls. The sound of paper tearing in the quiet room is loud enough to make you flinch.
She grabs a pen and begins to write. Her hand moves in quick strokes. Jungkook shifts behind you, but he doesn't intervene. He just watches her, watches you. When she finishes, Yura stares at the paper for a heartbeat, her expression unreadable. Then, she folds it once and slides it across the table toward you. Yura hesitates, a flicker of something like grief passing over her eyes.
âHe gets home at home at 4:30,â she says and you stare at the paper. âHeâs always home at the same time,â she adds quietly.
âY/N,â Jungkook says softly, his hand almost reaching out before he thinks better of it. âYou donât have to go today.â
You let out a quiet, shaky breath. It isn't relief. Itâs the sound of a decision being made. Because even as he offers you the exit, you already know the door is closed behind you.
âYes,â you say, the word barely audible even to yourself. âI do.â
Yura watches you, her expression changing. The guilt and worry are still there, but thereâs something underneath now. Itâs a quiet trust, as if sheâs handing you something fragile and hoping you won't break it.
âJust⊠listen to him,â she says gently. âEven if itâs not what you expect. Even if it makes you mad. JustâŠ.hear him out.â
You reach out and grab the paper. You unfold it just enough to see the address. Itâs simple. Ordinary like any other address you have ever seen. And yet, the ink seems to hold the weight of every question youâve ever asked. You fold it back up and slip it into your pocket.
Your heart is still racing, your thoughts are a jumbled mess in your head, but beneath everything, there is finally a direction. A destination. You push away from the table. Jungkook steps aside without a word, carving a path for you. Yura doesnât try to stop you.
As you reach the door, your hand hesitates on the handle. Just for a second.
Because you realize this isnât just about a confrontation or a demand for answers. Itâs about something you lost without knowing it. Something everyone else remembers with perfect clarity. Something Yoongi chose to carry alone in the dark.
And now, youâre about to walk into his house and shine a huge light on it.
The drive to the address on Yuraâs torn piece of paper feels longer than it should.
Every red light seems to linger more than normal.
Every slow car in front of you feels deliberate.
Your fingers tap anxiously against the steering wheel while the folded paper sits in the cupholder beside the cracked phone. It took a bit longer to talk yourself into leaving your house again than you thought it would. However, you knew you had to leave before Corbyn got home. Before you face another round of questions or another argument that you weren't prepared for. One you didn't want to deal with.
When you finally turn onto the street, the neighborhood is quieter than you expected.
Small houses. Narrow driveways. Nothing dramatic. Nothing cinematic.
Just ordinary.
Your chest tightens at that.
Because for some reason, the idea of Yoongi living somewhere ordinary feels more intimate than if he lived in some towering penthouse or cluttered artist loft.
This is where he wakes up.
Where he eats.
Where he exists when no one is looking.
You slow in front of a modest house with a low porch and a single car in the driveway.
No movement.
No shadows.
No sign that inside these walls lives the man currently splitting your entire reality in half.
You park crooked and leave the engine running for three full seconds before shutting it off. You continue to sit there, hands still on the wheel taking shallow breaths.
You could leave.
Right now.
Drive back to Corbynâs sterile kitchen. Put the ring back on straight. Pretend the phone died for real.
Pretend you never saw yourself saying yes.
Instead, you grab the old phone and get out. Gravel crunches beneath your shoes as you walk up the short path. You stand in front of the door and suddenly forget how to move.
What exactly are you here to say?
Hi. Apparently I was engaged to you before my life was erased.
Hi. Why did you let me become someone else?
Hi. Do you still love me?
Butterflies dance in your stomach.
Your hands violently shake.
You lift your hand and knock.
Three sharp raps. The sound echoes louder than it should.
Nothing.
You wait.
A dog barks somewhere down the street as your pulse hammers in your ears.
You can hear footsteps coming closer on the other side of the door.The lock clicks and
your stomach drops so hard it almost hurts.
The door opens.
Yoongi stands there in gray sweats and a black T-shirt, one hand still on the knob.
His hair is damp like he showered recently. No guard up yet. No social armor. Just bare-faced surprise.
For one lingering second, neither of you speaks. His eyes flick to your face and then to the phone clutched in your hand.
âYou're not supposed to have that,â he rasps.
ââ'Not supposed to have it'?â Your voice is a ghost of a sound, trembling with a mix of fury and heartbreak. âThatâs what you have to say to me? Not Iâm sorry, or let me explain, but a reprimand because I found a piece of myself you tried to bury?â
âYoongi doesnât move. He looks like heâs turned to stone, his hand still white-knuckled on the doorknob. However his eyesâŠthose dark, cat-like eyesâŠare swimming with pain that makes your lungs ache. He looks exhausted. He looks like a man who has been holding onto so much pain for years and has finally run out of strength.
ââI didn't bury it,â he says, his voice dropping to a low, gravelly frequency. âI just...â
ââIâm not a child, Yoongi!â You step forward, forcing him to either retreat or let you in. He steps back instinctively, and you cross the threshold into his world.
âYou hold the phone out, the screen still frozen on that silver ring, that promise of a forever that never happened.
ââYou asked them not to tell me,â you say, the accusation hanging heavy in the air. âYou watched me struggle. You watched me try to piece together my life. Why? How could you look at me and not say a word?â
âYoongi finally lets go of the door. It swings shut with a soft thud.
ââYouâre right,â he says. Itâs flat. Hollow. âI did ask them to stay quiet. I told them if they breathed a word of it to you, Iâd never speak to them again.â
ââBut why?â You scream, the word tearing out of your throat. âYou loved me! You were going to marry me! How do you just⊠stand back and watch me live a lie?â
âYoongi finally moves. He takes a single, heavy step toward you, then stops, as if thereâs an invisible line between you that heâs no longer allowed to cross. He gestures vaguely toward your left handâŠ.the hand where Corbynâs diamond sits, heavy and cold.
ââBecause when you walked into Jiminâs studio to meet us,â he starts, his jaw working as he fights to keep his voice steady. âYou weren't looking for me. You were looking for missing pieces of your old life with a shiny ring on your finger, Y/N.â
âHe lets out a breath that sounds like a sob heâs been holding in for years.
ââIt wasnât mine. It was his⊠And you looked⊠okay. You looked healthy and I wasn't about to be the reason you were going to have a complicated life. I wanted you to be happy. And if that wasn't with meâŠâ He trails off.
ââYou wanted me to be happy?â You repeat, your voice trembling. âYou decided, all on your own, that my happiness was better off as a lie? You saw me standing there, wearing another manâs ring, and you just⊠gave up?â
âYoongi flinches, his gaze dropping to the floor, but you donât let him off the hook. You step into his space, the old phone still clutched like a weapon.
ââWhy didnât you fight for me, Yoongi?â You demand, the words spilling out. âIf what we had was so realâŠ.if that video was realâŠ.how could you just stand back?â
ââY/N, I thought I was protecting youâŠâ he whispers.
ââNo!â You shout, cutting him off. âYou werenât protecting me. You were abandoning me! Did you even care? Because from where Iâm standing, it looks like you couldn't wait to get rid of the burden Iâd become. It looks like you never really loved me at all.â
âThe silence that follows is deafening. Yoongiâs head snaps up, his eyes wide and fractured. For a second, you think he might scream back. You want him to. You want him to break.
âInstead, his hand trembles as it reaches for the collar of his black T-shirt. âHe hooks a finger under a thin silver chain that you hadn't noticed before, hidden beneath the fabric. With a slow, deliberate tug, he pulls it out.
âDangling from the end of the chain, catching the dim light of the window, is a ring.
âIt isn't the flashy, oversized diamond Corbyn put on your finger. Itâs a simple, elegant silver band. Itâs the twin to the one on the phone screen.
ââDonât you ever tell me I didn't care,â he rasps, his eyes searching yours with a desperate, raw agony. âI loved you enough to let you go. Do you have any idea how much that destroyed me?â
Your breathing stutters as you stare at him.
Loved.
It echoes wrong.
Your brows pull together, hurt flashing across your face before you can stop it.
âYou said loved,â you say.
Yoongi stills. You take a small step forward, your voice quieter now.
âDo you not love me anymore?â You question.
For a second, he doesnât answer. His fingers tighten around the chain, the ring swaying faintly between you.
âI didnât say that.â He replies.
âYou didnât say you did either.â Your throat burns.
His jaw clenches, like the words are fighting him on the way out.
âI do,â he says finally, low and strained. âI just⊠donât get to anymore.â
âYou donât get to?â Your breath catches.
âYouâre engaged,â he shoots back,
Your hand instinctively curls slightly. The pretentious ring sitting on your finger suddenly feels heavier than ever. You look at him, really look at him, at the way he wonât quite meet your eyes now.
Then your gaze drops.
To the chain.
To the ring.
Your ring.
Your stomach twists.
âGive it back,â you tell him.
âWhat?â Yoongiâs head snaps up as the words slip out of your mouth.
âThat ring,â you say, forcing your voice to stay steady even as your chest cracks open. âItâs mine. It was mine before everything. So give it back.â
For the first time since you walked in. he looks shaken. Really shaken. His hand instinctively closes around the ring, like your words physically threatened to take it.
âNo.â He shakes his head.
Itâs immediate.
Firm.
âNo?â Your eyes widen slightly.
âIâm not giving you this,â he says, quieter now, but somehow more solid. Like this is the one line he wonât let you cross.
âIt belongs to me,â you argue, frustration bleeding through again.
âIt belonged to us,â he cuts in.
âGive it to me,â you say again as you hold out your hand.
âNo.â He shakes his head again.
âWhy?â You ask.
âBecause it's the only piece of you that I have that truly means something,â he says.
ââThe only piece of me?â Your voice rises, thick with tears. âI am standing right here, Yoongi! Iâm not a ghost, Iâm not a memory, I am a person and that is mine. You donât get to keep it as a trophy for your suffering while I walk around with a hole where my life used to be!â
ââItâs not a trophy,â he growls, his voice cracking. âItâs a weight. Itâs been a weight around my neck for years. Every time it hits my chest, it reminds me of the day I lost you. It reminds me that I stayed behind while you moved on without me.â
ââThen let it go!â You take another step, closing the distance until you are inches from him. You can smell the soap on his skin, a scent that triggers a phantom ache in your chestâŠ.something familiar, something safe. âGive it back to me. If it hurts you so much, why are you fighting to keep it?â
ââBecause if I give it to you, itâs really over,â he whispers, his eyes searching yours, desperate and bloodshot. âAs long as I have this, youâre still the girl who said yes. If I give it back, youâre just⊠his.â
ââIâm already his,â you say, the words tasting gross. You hold out your hand, palm up, steady despite the violent shaking happening inside you. âBut I canât decide who I want to be until I have it. Give. It. Back.â
âYoongi stares at your open palm for what feels like an eternity. His chest heaves, his breathing ragged. Slowly, painfully, he lifts his hand to the back of his neck. His fingers fumble with the clasp of the chain. It's a motion heâs clearly done a thousand times in the dark, but now his hands are shaking too hard to be precise.
âFinally, the click of the metal echoes in the silence.
âHe pulls the chain through the ring, the silver band sliding into his palm. He looks at it one last time, his thumb brushing over the metal. His face crumples just for a second. A flash of the boy who thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with you.
âThen, he reaches out.
âHe doesnât drop it into your hand. He takes your fingers in his, his skin searingly hot against yours, and presses the ring into your palm. He closes your fingers over it, his grip tight, forcing you to feel the cool, hard metal.
ââThere,â he rasps, his voice breaking completely. âItâs yours. It was always yours.â
âHe lets go of your hand as if the contact burned him, stepping back into the shadows of his home. He looks empty, like heâs just handed over his own heart. You look down at your hand. You slowly uncurl your fingers.
âThe silver band sits there, humble and simple compared to the diamond on your other hand. You turn it over, and there, in a tiny, elegant script on the inside of the band, are the words.
Your thumb traces the inside of the band.
At first, the letters blur. Your vision is still swimming, your hands still trembling.
Then they sharpen.
Always â Yoongi.
Your breath catches.
Itâs⊠simple.
Not dramatic. Not poetic. Not something written for a moment like this.
Something written for a lifetime.
Your fingers tighten slightly around the ring. A promise made without hesitation.
Always.
You swallow hard and look up to find that Yoongi is already looking at you.
Not at the ring.
At you.
Completely still, like heâs bracing for impact. Like whatever you say next is going to decide something heâs been holding onto for years. Your lips part, but nothing comes out. Because how do you respond to something like that? Your grip loosens just enough for the ring to rest in your palm again.
âI⊠donât remember this.â Your voice barely above a whisper.
His expression flickers, something breaking quietly behind his eyes, but he nods once, like he expected that. Like he prepared himself for it.
âI know,â he whispers
That hurts more than if heâd argued.
You shake your head slightly, frustration and something deeper twisting together inside you.
âBut she did,â you say, more to yourself than to him. âThe version of me that said yes⊠she meant it and you kept it,â you add softly, a tremor slipping through now. âAll this time.â
âI didnât know how not to,â he admits.
Looking down at your old broken phone, you exit out of your photo app. The screen shifts and background comes into view. The pier with the sunset bleeding gold and pink across the water. All of you barefoot on the wooden planks. The wind tangling hair, laughter caught mid-motion. Yura with her arms wrapped around you. The guys gathered around cheering like nothing in the world could possibly ruin that moment.
A small sound slips from Yoongi beside you. Something sharp, like it hits him physically and your head turns. Heâs staring at your phone.
Not blinking.
Not moving.
Like heâs been pulled backward in time and didnât land softly.
âYoongi?â You whisper.
He doesnât answer you. His eyes stay locked on the screen.
âThatâs the day,â he tells you.
âWhat?â Your fingers still slightly on your phone.
âThatâs the pier,â he says, voice rougher now. âThatâs when it happened.â
âWhen what happened?â Your stomach twists and finally, he looks at you.
Thereâs something in his expression that makes your pulse stutter because it isnât confusion.
Itâs certainty.
âThatâs when you said yes,â he says and you look down at the photo again. âYou and I drove there. Everyone else followed a little bit after. You were standing at the railing watching the sunset. Your hair was blowing in the wind. You looked so peaceful at that moment. I took your picture with your camera.â
You gasp softly and blink at him as you think about the polaroid hiding in your bathroom.
âI justâŠ. I walked up behind you and wrapped my arms around you.â He continues.
âMy dream.â You cut him off and his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline.
ââYour dream?â He repeats, the words barely leaving his throat. He takes a half-step toward you, his guard completely shattered. âY/N, what are you talking about?â
ââThe pier,â you whisper, your eyes darting between the photo on the cracked screen and the man standing in front of you. âI thought I was going crazy. A sunset, the smell of the water, and someone⊠someone holding me from behind. I couldnât see the face.â
âYou look down at the silver ring in your palm, the one that says Always.
ââIt was you,â you breathe out, the realization hitting you with the force of a tidal wave. âIt was always you.â
âYoongiâs hand goes to his mouth, his shoulders shaking. He turns away for a second, a muffled sound escaping himâŠ.a sob he can no longer repress. When he turns back, his face is wet, his eyes raw.
ââIt wasn't a dream,â he says, his voice thick. âI turned you around. I was so terrified. My heart was pounding so hard I thought youâd feel it through my chest. I told you that I didn't want another day to go by where you weren't officially mine. You didnât even let me finish. You just grabbed my face and said Always. Thatâs why I had it engraved. Because that was your promise to me.â
âHe looks at your left hand. At Corbynâs diamond, which now looks like a gaudy, intrusive weight.
ââAnd then,â Yoongi whispers. âYour parents took that away from us because they hated me.â
Your fingers curl around the silver band in your palm.
Always.
Your chest aches.
Oh god⊠your chest aches.
âI need to go,â you say.
âY/NâŠâYoongiâs head lifts slightly.
âI need to go,â you repeat, steadier this time. âI need to hear it from them. I need to see their faces when they try to explain this to me.â
Yoongi doesnât try to talk you out of it. He sees the fire in your eyes. The same stubborn, unbreakable spark that he fell in love with long before the world went quiet.
â"I'm coming with you," he says. It isn't a request.
â"Yoongi, no. If they see you, they'll just use it as an excuse to call me confused or say you manipulated me." You shake your head.
â"I'm not going inside," he promises. "I'll be in the car. I just...I can't let you do that alone. If you need me, Iâm ten feet away. If you don't, I'm just a shadow in the driveway."
âYou nod, unable to find words that won't break your voice.
âThe drive to your parents' house is tense. Yoongi drives your car. You didn't trust yourself to drive. You watch the familiar, manicured streets of your new life roll by, as you figure out what you're going to say to them. When he pulls into the driveway, your heart stops. Corbynâs SUV is parked there.
â"He's here," you whisper. âWhy is he here?â
âYoongiâs jaw tightens. He shifts the car into park but doesn't turn off the engine. He looks at the front door, then at you. He reaches over, his hand covering yours for a brief, searing second.
â"Go," he says. "I'm right here."
As you push open the door slowly, the familiar creak sounds louder than it ever has before. The house smells the same. Clean, controlled, untouched by anything messy or real. Itâs completely devoid of any real emotions or feelings. Voices drift from the living room, low and tired, as you step inside. All three of them are there. Your mother is perched on the edge of the couch, her posture perfect even in exhaustion. Your father stands near the fireplace with his arms crossed, tension sitting heavy in his shoulders. Corbyn is by the window, jacket off and sleeves rolled, looking like heâs been there a whileâŠlike this has been an ongoing conversation.
They all look up at once. Relief flashes across your motherâs face first.
âOh, thank goodness,â she exhales, pressing a hand to her chest. âThere you are.â
Your fatherâs expression hardens, but thereâs something under it. Concern, maybe, buried under control. Corbyn straightens immediately, his eyes scanning your face.
âHey,â he says carefully. âAre you okay?â
âItâs time to stop avoiding this,â your mother cuts in, her tone sharpening as she stands. âThe wedding is already on hold, and now you and Corbyn areâŠ.â
âWho is Yura?â You ask, cutting her off.
The room freezes. It isnât loud. You donât yell it, but the way the atmosphere feels...you might as well have. Your mother blinks once, then twice.
âIâm sorry?â She says lightly, far too lightly. âI donât know anyone by that name.â
âWho is Jungkook?â Your father shifts now, a subtle movement, but you catch itâŠa crack.
âI think youâre confused,â your mother says, a little firmer this time. âYouâve been under a lot of stressâŠâ
âStop.â That one is sharp and clean. It slices straight through her. âStop right now.â
Your hand tightens around the phone before you step forward and unlock it. Your fingers donât shake this timeâŠ.not anymore. You turn the screen and hold it out. The pier, the sunset, all of you barefoot, laughing, and alive.
âI found them,â you say quietly. âAll of them. Yura ⊠Jungkook ⊠Jimin ⊠Hobi ⊠Namjoon ⊠JinâŠTaehyung.â
Your mother doesnât take the phone. She doesnât even look at it. Your fatherâs gaze flicks to it and then away just as fast. However, Corbyn steps forward slowly.
âCan I?â He asks, already reaching. You let him take it. He studies the photo, his brows pulling together as confusion settles over his face, real and unfiltered. âWho⊠are these people?â He asks, glancing between you and the screen. âAre these friends⊠from before the accident?â
You donât answer him. You look back at your mother. Her face has gone pale now, no longer composed or controlled, but afraid.
âAnswer me,â you say, your voice quieter but infinitely more dangerous. âWho are they?â
âI donât know what you think youâve foundâŠ.â she starts.
âDonât lie to me.â You grit your teeth as your words crack.
âThatâs enough. Youâre upset, and youâre jumping to conclusionsâŠâ Your father steps in now, his voice firm.
âWho is Yoongi?â You ask quietly.
Silence.
âYou're confused,â your father tells you.
âSTOP LYING TO ME!â You yell. You grab your ring out of your pocket and pinch it between your fingers. âI WAS ENGAGED TO HIM.â
âAnd thank god it ended!â Your mother snaps. âA music teacher! Two teachers struggling living paycheck to paycheck. You would have had nothing!â
âI would have been happy,â you whisper, the realization blooming in your chest like a fire. âI wouldn't have cared about the paychecks or the struggle. I was happy in that photo. Look at my face! I haven't looked like that in years. I don't even recognize myself there. I was LOVED there.â
âYou are happy now!â Your mother snaps, gesturing wildly at the sprawling, expensive house. âYou have security! You have a future that isn't precarious. You have a man who can actually provide for you, who belongs in our world!â
âI am a shell of a person!â You scream back, the sound tearing from your lungs. âIâve spent years feeling like I was wearing a costume, like I was a ghost haunting my own life! You didnât save me from a struggle, mom. You saved me from myself. You erased the only version of me that actually felt alive because she was too inconvenient for your social standing.â
You turn, your eyes landing on Corbyn. He was still holding your old phone, his face a mask of shock and something else. Something that looked suspiciously like guilt. The room goes deathly quiet. You feel the weight of the silver ring in one hand and the cold diamond in the other.
âCorbyn,â you say, your voice trembling. âDid you know?â
Corbyn doesnât look at you. He looks at the floor, at the rug, at the phoneâŠanywhere but your eyes.
âCorbyn, look at me,â you demand. âDid you know I was engaged to someone else?â
He finally lifts his head. His jaw is tight, and for the first time, the polished, perfect man you thought you knew looks⊠small.
âI knew there was someone,â he admits, his voice barely audible. âYour parentsâŠwhen they told me about the accident. They told me that before it happened, you had been involved with a man. They said it was a mistake. That he was⊠he was a bad person, Y/N.â
He takes a step toward you, his expression pleading. âThey told me that bringing him up would only trigger your trauma. They said the doctors advised against it. I thought I was helping you move on. I thought I was being the stable choice you needed to heal.â
âOh my god!â You breathe out and put your hands to your head before dropping them.
âThey said I need to help you stick to your routines,â he continues. âKeep you in the present and not the past.â
âOh my god!â You look down at the diamond on your finger. The one Corbyn had placed there.
The room is far too suffocating, as if the very walls are leaning in to witness what you would do next. Your mother is still breathing hard from her outburst, her chest heaving. Your fatherâs expression is hardening, his mind clearly already miles ahead, calculating his next argument. And then there is Corbyn. He is watching you with a desperate, hollow look in his eyes, like a man realizing he is about to lose something he had never truly understood in the first place.
But as you stand there, you feel nothing. There is no fire of rage, no cold spike of panic, and no lingering fog of confusion. There is only a sudden, piercing clarity. Your fingers move slowly to your left hand, catching the light as you begin to twist the diamond ring. It resists for a fleeting second before it gives way. The ring slides free, leaving your finger feeling strangely light.
You step forward and walk toward the coffee table, setting the diamond down with a small, metallic click. It is barely a sound at all, yet it lands with the weight of something irreversible. "Y/NâŠ" Your mother inhales sharply, but you simply shake your head at her.
When you finally speak, your voice isn't loud, it is empty.
âYou're all liars," you say, the words hitting harder than anything youâd screamed all night. "I canât trust any of you."
"WaitâŠY/N, donât do this likeâŠ." Corbyn takes a tentative step forward, his hand half-extended.
You didn't even look at him. You simply reach out and take your phone back from his hand. He lets you take it without a fight. There is nothing else left for him to do. Your fingers tighten around the cracked device, grounding yourself in the only thing that felt like it actually belongs to you. Then, without a hint of hesitation or a second glance, you turn and walk out of the house.
Everything feels distant and muted, as if you were moving through deep water. Your car is still running in the driveway, the headlights cutting through the darkening evening, and inside, he is waiting. Yoongi doesnât move right away when you open the door. He just sits there, his dark eyes searching yours, waiting for a signal.
You get in and shut the door, the mechanical thud sealing the rest of the world away. For a long moment, it stays silent. The silence stretches until your voice, sounding strange and hollow to your own ears, finally breaks it.
"Itâs over." You blink.
âWhat is?" Yoongiâs grip tightens slightly on the steering wheel as he asks carefully.
"Everything." You breathe out.
That was the moment your composure finally fractures. It isn't a loud collapse, just a slow, painful breaking.
"Oh my godâŠ" you whisper, pressing your hand to your mouth. "What did I doâŠ?" Your breathing began to stutter, the reality of the last hour crashing down. "I justâŠ. I walked away from all of it. My parents, my life, myâŠ." Your chest tightened painfully "I have nothing, Yoongi."
He moves instantly, driven by an instinct heâd been suppressing for years. His seatbelt clicks off, and then he is pulling you into him. One arm wraps firmly around your shoulders while the other cradles the back of your head, tucking you into the safety of his chest. He was solid, warm, and real. You didn't fight him. You simply collapse against him, your hands clutching at his shirt as your forehead presses into his shoulder. Everything you had been holding back finally spills over in a wave of uneven breaths and shaking shoulders.
Yoongi holds you like it was muscle memory, his chin resting against your hair.
"Hey⊠hey," he murmurs, his voice low and steady despite the raw emotion threaded through it.
"I donât have anything." You repeat, keeping your fingers curled into his shirt.
He pulls back just enough to look at you, though he doesn't lose contact. His thumb brushed firmly against your shoulder to ground you.
"Youâre not alone," he says, his voice softening. "You have me and you have them. All of them. Yura, Jungkook, Jin âŠ.everyone who never stopped loving you. You didnât lose everything tonight. You just stopped living in something that was never yours to begin with."
Your fingers are still twisted in the fabric of his shirt when the words finally leave you.
"Where do I go?" You ask.
It isn't just a question about tonight. It's a question about everything. You wonder where you were supposed to go when your past had been stolen, your present was built on lies, and your future had just shattered in your hands. Yoongi doesnât answer right away, not because he didn't have one, but because he heard what you were really asking. His hand shifts, gentler now, brushing your hair back from your face as his eyes search yours.
"I know where we can go," he says quietly.
There was no hesitation or doubt in his voice, and for the first time tonight, you donât question it.
You just nod.
Your hands sit in your lap, one loosely curled around the silver ring, the other empty where the diamond used to be. You keep glancing at your reflection in the window like you were trying to meet yourself for the first time, and maybe you were. Yoongi doesn't rush or push. He just drives. Familiar roads start to appear, and you close your eyes. When the car slows, your gaze lifts to a simple building with the lights on inside and music faintly spilling through the walls.
"Jiminâs studio," you whisper.
"Yeah." Yoongi glances at you briefly, something soft flickering across his face, as he replies.
Your pulse races because this is the place where you first met them. This is their sanctuary. This is where he brought you.
The moment you step out of the car, your heart starts racing again, but not the same way it had at your parentsâ house. This wasnât fear. It was something else, something bigger. Yoongi comes around to your side but doesn't touch you this time. He stays just close enough until you reach the door and push it open.
The music doesn't fade as you make your way back to the familiar room. It cuts, as if someone had hit stop the second they saw you. Suddenly, you weren't so alone. They were all there. Yura, Jungkook, Taehyung, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jin, and Jimin himself, standing near the mirrors and frozen mid-step. No one speaks at first. They just stare at you.
"Y/NâŠ" Yura breaks, but she doesn't even finish your name before she's moving, fast and desperate. Her arms wrap around you so tightly it knocks the breath from your lungs, but you don't pull away and you cling back just as hard. "Iâm so sorry," she chokes into your shoulder. "Iâm so, so sorry."
"I know." You whisper and you mean it.
Jungkook was next, pulling you into a hug that was somehow both strong and careful at the same time.
"You scared the hell out of us," he mutters, his voice thick.
"Yeah⊠I think I scared myself too." A small, shaky laugh escapes you as you reply.
One by one, they come. There are hands on your shoulders, soft squeezes, and tearful smiles, as if theyâd been holding their breath since you came back into their lives and youâd just given it back to them. The strangest part was that it didnât feel like strangers welcoming you. It felt like something clicking back into place. It wasn't full or perfect yet, but it was enough. When you finally pull back, your eyes scan the room, taking in every face and every emotion. It's then, you look at Yoongi. He was still near the door right over your shoulder.
Through the blur of your own tears, you look past the circle of friends to where Yoongi remains by the door. He looks like he was afraid to intrude, as if he were still playing the part of the ghost he had been forced to become. You don't want him on the outside anymore. Slowly, you reach your arm out, palm open and fingers trembling, silently holding your hand out for him.
Yoongiâs eyes lock onto your hand, his breath hitching as he realizes you were calling him back into your world. Before he can even take the first step, the others caught on. Jungkook reaches out and grabs his shoulder, and Jimin steps forward to hook an arm around him, none of them letting him stay in the shadows for a second longer. They surge forward, a tide of hands and familiar voices, pulling him into the center of the messy circle with you.
As he is folded into the group, the space between the two of you finally vanishes. The circle closes, tight and unbreakable, and for the first time since you woke up in that hospital bed years ago, the hollow ache in your chest felt full. You weren't just a girl with a broken past anymore. You were back among the people who had guarded your story when you couldn't, led by the man who had never truly let you go. In the middle of the crowded, tearful studio, the silver ring pressed firmly into your palm, and you finally felt like you had come home.
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Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
The rhythmic, soul-crushing click-clack of keyboards was a far cry from the sound of the storm and the kids' laughter.
âAt the insurance firm, everything is beige just like your home. The walls, the carpets, the souls of the people processing claim denied notices. You sit at your desk, staring at a spreadsheet of automotive liabilities, but the numbers are blurring into a mint green haze.
âYour hand drifts to the drawer of your desk, fingers brushing against the cool, cracked screen of the phone Jungkook had given you. It feels like a live wire, even though it was supposedly dead. It is a secret tucked between staplers and sticky notes. A piece of a girl who threw paint and did what she wanted.
â"Youâre doing that thing again,â Leah says, not looking away from her screen.
âYou jump, nearly knocking your knee into your desk. Leah turns then, leaning over the partition of your cubicle, her hair tucked neatly behind her ears, but her eyes were sharp with curiosity.
â"Is it the wedding? Did your mom pick out the font for the napkins again? Because I told you, Helvetica is the font of the damned." She gives you a look of sympathy.
â"No," you whisper, glancing around to make sure your supervisor isn't lurking nearby. You lean in closer, your voice barely audible over the noise of the AC. "I went to Yuraâs last night. Jungkook⊠he gave me something.â
â"What did he give you?" She asks, her voice dropping to match yours and âyou reach into the drawer and pull the old phone out just enough for her to see the spiderwebbed glass.
"Itâs mine. From before. I guess my mom tried to get rid of it, but Jungkook somehow saved it. He said it won't turn on. That theyâve tried everything." You inform her.
âThis is HUGE,â she says, staring at the object with wide eyes. âThey must not be computer nerds.â
â"Do you know someone?" Your heart hammers against your ribs.
â"My cousinâs boyfriend runs a repair shop out of his garage," Leah says, already pulling her own phone out to text. "Heâs a tech-wizard. If thereâs a single photo or text left in that thing, heâll find a way to wake it up. He also happens to owe me a favor."
âShe looks at you seriously for a moment before continuing.
"But Y/N, once that screen lights up⊠thereâs no going back to the stable version of you. Are you sure you want to see whatâs inside?" She asks.
You don't even have to answer her. You pick your old phone up and study it for a moment. This was your key to unlocking everything.
You know it.
Holding it out, Leah takes it from you and slides it into her bag under her desk. Leah doesnât say anything else after that.
She just zips her bag like sheâs sealing something important inside it.
âAlright,â she says, a little too brightly, and turns back to her desk like nothing just happened. âBack to denying people and upping premiums.â
You try to go back to the spreadsheet.
You really do.
Column A, Column B, liability percentages, claim IDs, but your brain refuses to cooperate. Every number looks like a code. Every blank cell feels like something waiting to be filled in.
By something you used to know, but you can't comprehend.
Your drawer is still slightly open.
Empty and thatâs the problem. The phone being hidden felt safer in that drawer than it does in her bag. You hope you didn't make a serious mistake.
Dinner with Corbyn is quiet at first as he sits at the other end of the table.
Not the comfortable kind.
The careful kind.
The kind where every movement feels observed even if heâs pretending itâs not. Watching you for any surprises. However the house is exactly how it always is. Clean. Intentional. Controlled. The neatly plated food, the spotless glasses placed just so. You don't have any surprises for him tonight as you sit across from him, fork in hand, but you havenât taken a single bite. Because your mind is somewhere else.
Garage lights.
Cracked screens.
A phone that might already be awake.
âYouâve been somewhere else all week.â Corbynâs voice isnât sharp.
âIâm here.â You blink, looking up at him.
âYouâre physically here,â he corrects, setting his fork down neatly and quietly. âBut thatâs about it.â
Thereâs no accusation in his tone.
Just⊠observation. Like heâs pointing out a flaw in a system that used to run perfectly.
âIâve just been tired,â you say, defaulting to your safe answer.
Expected answer. However, he doesnât accept it this time.
âYouâre not tired,â he says calmly. âYouâre distracted. Youâre skipping things. You forgot your momâs call on Tuesday.â
âI called her back,â you reply.
âAfter she called me,â he tells you. âAgain.â
The two of you stare at one another for a moment. Your dinner has now been completely forgotten as it sits on the table.
âYouâve been⊠different,â he continues, quieter now. âAnd I donât mean that in a bad way. I justâŠâ
He pauses, choosing his words carefully.
âI donât understand it.â He looks at you.
âYou donât understand me,â you say.
âThatâs not fair,â he replies, brows pulling together slightly. âI know you better than anyone.â
âDo you?â You let out a small, humorless breath. âDo you really? You know what I eat for breakfast,â you continue, your voice steady, but your fingers tighten around your fork. âYou know what time I go to bed.â
You swallow.
âBut you donât know me.â You tell him.
âThatâs not true,â he says, more firmly now. âWeâve built a life together. For years now.â
âYou built a life with the version of me that was handed to you,â you say, quieter now but sharper. âThe one my mom helped put back together.â
âI didnât build you,â he says, looking hurt. âI supported you. Thereâs a difference.â
âAnd what happens if Iâm not that person anymore?â You ask.
Corbyn doesnât answer right away. He studies you like heâs trying to solve something that used to be simple.
âYou are that person,â he says finally. âYouâve just been⊠off lately.â
Off. Like youâre a glitch. Like you're something to correct. Your chair scrapes softly as you lean back.
âNo,â you shake your head. âI think Iâve been on lately.â
That gets him. You can see a small crack in his composure.
âWhat does that even mean?â He asks.
Corbynâs brow furrows, the confusion in his eyes genuine. He isnât trying to be overbearing. Heâs trying to hold onto the person heâs known. To the woman he met at the firm, the one who seemed to appreciate the calm, orderly world he provided.
âIt means Iâm starting to feel things again,â you say, your voice gaining a strength that feels foreign. âNot just the things Iâm supposed to feel because theyâre good for me. Iâm feeling⊠noise. Mess. Color.â
âIs this about that community center? Your mom said you were acting⊠volatile. I told her you just needed a hobby, but if itâs making you question us, then maybe itâs not the right outlet. Maybe you can try something else.â Corbyn leans back, his hands resting flat on the table.
âItâs not a hobby, Corbyn. Itâs a reminder.â You argue, shaking your head.
âA reminder of what?â He asks, his voice rising just a fraction. âYou were a blank slate when we met. You told me yourself that you liked the quiet that I gave you. I didnât push you. I didn't rush you. I waited until you said you were ready for this.â He gestures to the house, the life, the invisible weight of the wedding.
âI said I was ready because I didn't know there were other options,â you counter. âI thought safe and quiet was the only thing I was allowed to be.â
âSafe is better than broken!â He exclaims.
The words hang in the air. Corbyn immediately looks like he wants to take them back. He reaches across the table, his fingers grazing yours, but you pull your hand away.
âIâm sorry,â he says quickly, his face softening with regret. âI didnât mean it like that. I just⊠I care about you. When I met you at the office, you were so focused, so determined to move forward. We were a team. I donât understand why the pastâŠa past you can't even fully rememberâŠ.is suddenly more important than the future weâre actually building.â
âBecause the future feels like a lie if itâs built on a hollow foundation,â you whisper.
Corbyn stands up, his dinner forgotten. He doesn't slam his chair. He tucks it in gently, the habit of neatness too ingrained to break even in an argument.
âIâm not the enemy here, Y/N,â he says, his voice thick with a hurt heâs trying to hide. âIâm the man who wants to marry you. But I canât marry someone who looks at me like Iâm a stranger holding her hostage.â
He looks at you for a long beat, waiting for you to say something âŠanything⊠to meet him halfway. However, all you can think about is the phone in Leahâs bag.
âIâm going to go for a drive,â he says quietly. âMaybe when I get back, we can talk about this relationship. Or maybe we just won't talk at all.â
He walks away, and a moment later, you hear the familiar sound of his car pulling out of the garage. The house is silent again. You stand up and walk to the window, watching his taillights disappear. Your reflection in the dark glass looks different. The stable version of you. The one with the neat hair and the polite smileâŠis fading.
Your phoneâŠyour real phoneâŠ.vibrates on the counter. Itâs a text from Leah.
Leah: Heâs got it on. Do you want it tonight or tomorrow at work?
Your breath hitches. Your fingers hover over the screen.
You donât answer right away. Because suddenly, itâs real in a way it hasnât been before. Before, it was a possibility.
A risk.
Now?
Itâs waiting for you.
You glance toward the door Corbyn just walked out of. You can still picture him there. Standing at the table. Hurt but controlled. Trying to understand something that keeps slipping out of his grasp.
I canât marry someone who looks at me like Iâm a stranger holding her hostage.
Your chest tightens because heâs not wrong.
Not entirely.
Your phone buzzes again.
Leah: Y/N?
Your thumb moves before you can overthink it.
You: Tonight.
The sun is streaming through the blinds of your guest bedroom, mocking the gloom inside of you. You heard Corbyn leave for work hours ago. The garage door's heavy rumble acting as your wake-up call. You had texted your supervisor a vague message about a migraine, the first time youâd ever broken your perfect employee streak.
âThe house feels eerily quiet without the background noise of morning routines and wedding logistics. You are sitting on the floor of the guest room. The one you slept in last night. âThe phone sits on the carpet in front of you.
âItâs plugged into a portable charger, the red light glowing steadily. The screen is dark, but the spiderweb cracks seem to catch the light, reminding you there was a night your world shattered.
âYour heart is doing a frantic, uneven rhythm against your ribs. This is it. The key. The thing your mother tried to bury and your friends tried to save.
âYou reach out, your fingers trembling so violently you have to grip your own wrist to steady them. You press the power button.
âFor a second, nothing happens.
âThen, a faint vibration.
A flicker of light.
âThe logo appears. It's pixelated and struggling behind the damaged glass before the lock screen bleeds into view.
âItâs not a generic wallpaper.
âItâs a photo.
Not just any photo.
The sunset is beautiful behind you as you stand with your friends surrounding you. All nine of you crammed on that pier barefooted, smiling. You and Yura are hugging tightly while the guys seem to be âŠ. cheering.
You're not sure.
âWith a shaky breath, you swipe up. âThere is no passcode. Apparently, the you from before didn't believe in locking people out.
âThe home screen is a chaotic graveyard of apps you haven't touched in an eternity. Art portfolios, photo editing suites, and a messaging app with a notification badge that reads (99+). Your thumb hovers over the messages. Your heart isn't just hammering now. Itâs a physical ache.
You click.
The first name you pressâŠ.
Yura đ„
The messages load.
Yura đ„: Matching outfits for the concert tonight
Yura đ„: Don't let you know who say the skirt is short.
Yura đ„: We're stealing Kook's car for the ride home!
Yura đ„: I can't wait!
Your lips part slightly as you look at the date on the texts. It was the night of the accident.
Tears start to sting your eyes as you blink them back.
Your pulse is louder now.
Jin đ
Jin đ: You left your jacket in my car again.
Jin đ: This is the third time this month.
Jin đ: Iâm starting to think itâs intentional so you have an excuse to see me.
Jin đ: eat something that isnât chips today
A small, unexpected laugh slips out of you.
Joon đ
The tone shifts immediately.
Joon đ: You said something tonight that stuck with me.
Joon đ: âI donât want a life that feels pre-approved.â
Joon đ: I donât think you realize how rare that is. Most people donât question the script. They just follow it.
Joon đ: You donât.
Joon đ: Donât lose that.
Your throat tightens because you already did.
Kook đ°
The messages are messy.
Kook đ°: I'll give you ten bucks to make Tae cry again.
Kook đ°: also you owe me for the drink you knocked over
Kook đ°: actually no you donât that was kind of cool
Kook đ°: Can you draw Super Koo Flying
Kook đ°: I really want one of him flying
Hobi âïž
Warmth, immediate warmth.
Hobi âïž: Hey, just checking in.
Hobi âïž: You disappeared pretty fast last night.
Hobi âïž: Just⊠making sure you got home okay.
Hobi âïž: Yoongi said you were fine but I wanted to make sure.
Hobi âïž: Let me know if you if want to ride to the to center together
Your eyes shift slightly. Yoongi said you were fine?
Jimin đ
Shorter and sharper.
Jimin đ: You deflected again tonight.
Jimin đ: Something is going on
Jimin đ: Iâm not asking you to explain it.
Jimin đ: Is it your parents again?
You inhale slowly.
He saw through you.
Tae đ·
The messages are⊠different.
Tae đ·: i tried painting
Tae đ·: it doesnât look like anything
Tae đ·: also you still owe me a sunset
Tae đ·: you promised
And as you press Yoongi's name with a trembling finger. You find ... nothing different from the rest.
Yoongi đč: You left your keys on the piano. Again.
âYoongi đč: Iâm not bringing them to you. You have to come get them.
Yoongi đč: If youâre going to disappear again, at least tell someone.
Yoongi đč: Hobi worries.
Yoongi đč: I do too.
Your thumb stills on his name for a second longer than it should.
Nothing jumps out.
Nothing confesses itself.
Sighing in disappointment, you back out of your messages and open tap your gallery icon. You hold your breath as the gallery opens like a floodgate, a chaotic mosaic of a life you apparently lived.
The first few swipes are a dizzying rush of emotions. There's a picture of Hobi dipping you in his arms like you were in some dramatic dance, and Yura nearly collapsing under your weight as you piggyback through a night of breathless laughter. You see yourself squinting against the dramatic, exaggerated press of Jiminâs lips to your cheek, his hand steady at your jaw. Your eyes are dramatically wide, but even the current you can tell it's a joke.
However, as you scroll, the frames becomeâŠquiet. You see yourself on a floor littered with books, caught in conversation with Namjoon. Then thereâs Jungkook, leaning over a sketchbook with you. The both of you have colored pencils in your hands. Even Jin is there, tucked into a familiar booth at the bakery where you met him and Yoongi, his hand halfway to a macaron while a soft, knowing smile crinkles his eyes.
You find yourself on the hood of a car with Taehyung, leaning back into his chest watching the sunset you promised him finally bleeds across the sky. You look completely at ease, a perfect contrast to the group shot that follows. It's a cramped, loud, beautiful disaster of limbs and laughter. In that one, everyone is fighting for space. Someoneâs hand is in your hair, Yura looks like sheâs yelling at someone, and Yoongi is rolling his eyes, though that smirk is firmly in place.
You fit there. You donât just look like a guest. You were one of them.
Your thumb slows, finally snagging on a photo that feels different. It's you and Yoongi sitting at a piano. His arm is around you and his hands seem to be covering yours helping you find the right keys. Itâs an infuriatingly quiet moment. It seems so deeply intimate that it feels like youâve accidentally intruded on a secret you didn't know you were keeping.
You quickly swipe over to the videos. You exhale a shaky breath and randomly press on a video icon in your gallery. The video opens in motion.
Shaky.
Too loud.
Bass rattles through the speakers as the camera struggles to focus. Flashes of light, a low stage, bodies packed too close together. Three figures come into view dressed in black with matching bandanas.
Yoongi.
Hobi.
Namjoon.
The sound distorts as the crowd surges, voices shouting over each other. Someone bumps your arm, but the camera doesnât drop. It steadies as you track them like youâve done this before.
Suddenly, it flips.The frame swings around, catching you and the rest of the group crammed together. Your faces flushed, loud, half out of frame wearing the homemade shirts you and Jungkook made.
Jungkook is yelling something directly into the camera, completely off-beat. Taehyung is laughing too hard to stand straight. Jin's limbs are flailing around as he dances around while Jimin tries not to get hit. Yura is already screaming.
And you⊠youâre louder than all of them.
Head tipped back.
Voice gone.
Not watching.
Not observing.
Cheering.
The camera jerks back toward the stage like you donât want to miss a second of it. Like youâve been waiting for this.
The video cuts abruptly.
A smile breaks across your face. Laughing a little bit, you move the screen and press on another video.
The video opens mid-chaos.
Smoke is already curling up toward the ceiling in thin, aggressive streaks. The frame shakes like you hit record too lateâŠ.like whateverâs happening has been happening for a while.
Jin is at the center of it.
Thereâs a small, very illegal-looking portable stove set up on a dorm desk, a pan sitting on top of it like it has no business being there. Whateverâs inside is loud⊠hissing, popping, aggressively resisting being cooked.
âWhy is it doing that?â Jin demands, voice rising as he pokes at it with a spatula like thatâs going to fix anything. âIt didnât do that in the video.â
Behind the camera you laugh. It's not polite or controlled. It's a full, unfiltered laughter that cuts straight through the chaos. The camera wobbles slightly like youâre trying to keep it steady but failing because youâre laughing too hard.
âBecause you turned it up too high!â You manage, your voice breaking. âI told youâŠ.â
âI needed it hot!â Jin fires back immediately, defensive. âHow else is it supposed to cook?!â
A sharp beep cuts through the room.
Everyone freezes.
âNo,â someone says flatly off to the side.
The camera jerks toward the ceiling.
The smoke detector blinks red.
âJinâŠâ Jungkookâs voice, already halfway to laughing. âYouâre gonna set it offâŠâ
It goes off.
A piercing, relentless alarm explodes through the tiny room.
Everything dissolves instantly.
âTURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!âJin yells.
âI DONâT KNOW HOW!â Namjoon pops into frame.
The camera dips, catching a blur of movement as Yoongi steps into frame, grabbing something. You think maybe a towel, maybe a shirt and starts aggressively fanning the smoke detector.
âOpen the window!â He snaps, voice sharp but not panicked. It appears he's used to this kind of chaos.
âIt is open!â Hobi's voice yells back.
âItâs not open enough!â Yoongi yells.
The alarm keeps screaming.
Youâre still laughing. Itâs louder now like youâve surrendered to it. The camera tilts, catching Hobi picking up a book to help Yoongi fan, Namjoon trying (and failing) to look helpful, Jungkook half-running in circles with no clear objective.
âI followed the instructions!â Jin is still fighting with the pan.
âWhat instructions?!â You shoot back between laughs.
âThe video!â Jin exclaims.
âThat wasnât even the same recipe!â Jungkook stops running
Another frantic wave of air toward the detector and the alarm finally cuts off. Everyone freezes for half a second staring up at the round white alarm on the ceiling.
âYouâre never cooking again,â you say, still laughing.
âSee if I cook for you again,â Jin mutters, but thereâs no bite to it.
Yoongi is still standing under the detector, arm half-raised, looking up at it like he doesnât trust it not to betray him again.
He glances toward you just for a second. The kind of look that slips in between everything else is quiet, familiar, like this moment isnât unusual.
The video cuts.
Your hand flies to your mouth to cover your laughs although you're the only one home. Biting your lip, you click the next one.
The camera is pointed at nothing at first. Just the passenger-side window of a car half rolled down while late afternoon wind rushed through it. Trees blur past as your own voice fills the speakers.
Soft.
Humming.
A melody that hits somewhere deep in your chest. A melody that you swear you have heard somewhere before and not just in your muffled dream.
The video flips and youâre staring at yourself staring out the window, chin propped in your hand. Youâre quietly humming to yourself like you donât even realize youâre doing it.
Then Yoongiâs voice cuts in from behind the phone.
Amused.
âSeriously,â he says, and the camera shifts just enough to catch him glancing over from the driverâs seat. âI still donât understand why thatâs your favorite song.â
âYou say that every time.â You laugh lightly.
âYou do know thatâs not a happy song, right?â A faint smirk pulls at his mouth.
âIt's beautiful." You laugh softly off camera.
âItâs sad,â he says. âActually kind of devastating, if you pay attention.â
âMaybe I like sad songs.â The version of you in the video smiles without looking away from him.
For a second, neither of you says anything.
âYeah. I know.â Yoongi mutters quietly.
Your thumb lingers on the dark screen long after the video ends. Because that melodyâŠ.itâs still there. You donât know the words. You donât know the name. However, you know the way it feels. And worseâŠ.you know that he knew it too.
Not just the song.
You.
He knew you.
You blink rapidly and scroll before your thumb stops and presses play.
The camera is propped up on a coffee table. Yoongi is dead to the world in a large, worn-out velvet armchair. Heâs swallowed by an oversized black hoodie, his chin tucked into his chest. A pair of heavy headphones is perched precariously on his head, slowly sliding forward with every deep, rhythmic breath he takes. One more exhale and theyâre going to hit the floor.
You are a tangle of limbs, curled up on the rug at the base of his chair. Youâre using the seat of his chair as a makeshift desk, a sketchbook spread open. Your shoulder is pressed firmly against his shin and he doesn't pull away. Youâre working fast, the scratch of your pencil the only sharp sound in the room.
Off to the side Namjoon is lounging on the sofa. He has a thick, paperback propped open on his lap, but heâs looking at your sketch instead of the pages.
"You're making his jawline too soft," Namjoon remarks, but he doesn't disturb the sleeping man above you.
"It is soft when heâs sleeping," you whisper back without looking up, your tongue poking out the corner of your mouth in concentration. "He loses all that don't-touch-me energy the second he hits REM cycle."
"Heâd hate that you're documenting his vulnerability." Namjoon chuckles.
"He knows Iâm doing it," you say, finally glancing at the camera with a small, knowing smirk. "He just likes to pretend heâs too cool to care."
"Is that the book with the lighthouse on the cover?" You ask, nodding toward his lap. "The one where the ending is just... a blank page?"
"Metaphorically, yes," Namjoon says, flipping through a few pages. "It argues that the ending doesn't matter because the characters were never meant to arrive anywhere. They were just meant to⊠be."
You pause your pencil, looking up at Yoongiâs peaceful, sleeping face. The headphones finally slip, caught by the cord just inches from the ground. Without missing a beat, you reach up and gently hook them over the arm of the chair, your fingers grazing his hand. He doesn't wake, but his fingers curl instinctively toward your touch.
"That kind of makes me anxious," you murmur, turning back to your drawing. "Does that mean they got their happy ending?"
âI think it's open to your interpretation.â Namjoon watches the two of you for a long beat, a soft, dimpled smile playing on his face.
He goes back to his book, and you go back to your lines, and for three minutes of footage, nothing happens except for the rain against the window and the sound of three people existing in a perfect, unspoken harmony.The video ends when Yoongi suddenly snorts in his sleep, his head lolling to the side, causing you to jump and ruin the line of his nose. Your quiet, indignant "Yoongi!" is the last thing heard before the screen goes black.
Your brows knit and move on.
âThis video is loud, chaotic, and smells of cheap hairspray and adrenaline even through the cracked screen. Itâs Halloween. The lighting is a strobe-light mess of purple and neon green. You see yourself first. You're dressed in a very tight pinstripe suit with a very wide open white button up as a fedora tilts low over your eyes, looking sharper and more dangerous than the woman currently sitting on the guest room floor.
âYura is there dressed almost identical to you, draped over Jungkookâs back, a plastic Tommy gun in one hand and a drink in the other. Sheâs screaming over the bass-heavy music, her face flushed with pure, unadulterated life.
â"The two best power couples at the party! Bow down, losers!" She shrieks, her voice cracking with laughter as she points the toy gun at the person filming.
âThe camera swings wildly as Jungkook grabs it, landing on you and Yoongi.
âHeâs dressed in matching black-on-black, his collar turned up, topped off with a blood red tie. Youâre laughing at something heâs whispered into your ear, your hand resting flat against his chest. It's not a tentative touch. It's the touch of someone who knows exactly how that heart beats.
âAs Yura yells about a group costume Yoongi doesn't look at her. He doesn't look at the camera. He looks down at you, his hand sliding from your waist to the small of your back, pulling you an inch closer. Itâs a movement so fluid, so practiced, it makes your stomach flip.
âOn screen, the you from before reaches up and adjusts his tie. You see your own expression. The way your eyes soften, the way the noise of the party seems to vanish the moment he catches your gaze.
â"Say it for the fans, Yoongs!" Jungkookâs voice booms from behind the camera.
âYoongi leans in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear on screen, but his eyes stay locked on the lens for just a second. It's dark, intense, and terrifyingly certain.
â"She's mine," he says.
Yoongi playfully picks up his toy gun and points it at the camera with a wink.
âThe video cuts to black.
You find yourself staring at your own reflection in the cracked glass of the phone, your eyes wide and your breathing shallow. Your hand is wrapped so tightly around the device that your knuckles have gone white. Shaking your head, you drag your thumb across the screen with a frantic, careless energy, as you tap the next video.
Someone is singing too loudly. Someone else is deliberately off-key. Thereâs laughter layered under every line of the song, the sound of people who care more about being obnoxious than being musical.
The camera shakes as someone films, sweeping across the cluttered table. Thereâs half-empty cups, torn wrapping paper, candles burning unevenly in the center of a slightly lopsided cake.
Then it lands on Yoongi.
Heâs seated at the head of the table, shoulders rounded, dressed in black despite everyone else looking festive. His expression is pure long-suffering annoyance, but the corner of his mouth keeps betraying him.
He looks younger here.
Lighter.
Like the weight he carries in the present hasnât settled onto him yet.
And then the frame shifts slightly.
Youâre standing behind his chair.
Not awkwardly. Not like someone unsure where to be. Like that spot belongs to you.
Your body is leaned casually against the back of the chair, one hip resting there as the chaos unfolds around you. Your fingers move absently through his hair, pushing through the dark strands at the crown of his head and scratching lightly at his scalp.
Itâs not flirtation.
It's a habit.
Something done without thinking.
Something done often.
Yoongiâs eyes close for half a second. Enough to show he melts under your touch before catching himself and reopening them when Jimin loudly misses another note.
âLook at him,â Taehyung teased from behind the camera. âDisgusting. He likes affection now.â
Yoongi flips him off without turning around.
The room erupts.
You laugh softly above him, and even hearing your own voice like that nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.
Your fingers keep moving.
Down the side of his head.
Across the back of his neck.
âMake a wish!â Hobi shouts.
Yoongi doesnât look at the cake. He reaches one hand up behind him blindly until he finds your wrist. His fingers curl there with complete certainty.
No searching.
No hesitation.
Like he knows exactly where you always are. He tugs gently. You bend down without resistance, smiling before heâs even moved. He tilts his head back and says something too quiet for the camera to catch. Whatever it is makes you grin wider. You lean down and press a kiss to his temple. Yoongi finally smiles fully. The kind of smile that seems meant only for one person.
You.
The room howls in exaggerated disgust.
âGET A ROOM!â
âBLOW OUT THE CANDLES, ROMEO!â
Yoongi ignores every one of them. Still holding your wrist, he turns his head just enough to brush his lips against the inside of it before letting go.
ThenâŠand only thenâŠdoes he lean forward and blow out the candles.
The video cuts to black.
Your thumb hovers over the glass, trembling with a sudden, violent instinct to simply let go. That smallâŠ.small, very small suspicion in the back of your head was right in front of your face.
You rub your face with your hand.
Half of your sketchbook was dedicated to him. He ordered you a coffee that he knew you would love without hesitating.
You are such an idiot.
"This is enough," you whisper, and for a second, you almost believe yourself. âDon't watch anymore.â
It would be the smart thing to doâŠ.the safe thing. Your hand begins to lower toward the floor, the phone nearly slipping from your grasp, but then your eyes flick back to the dark screen one last time. A quiet thought slips through the cracks of your resolve. Just one more. It isnât a shout. Itâs a pull, a gravity you can't resist because the need to know has finally become more powerful than the fear of the unknown. Before you can talk yourself out of it, before you can choose safety over truth, your thumb presses play on a random video.
The scene that unfolds is more jarring than the others. The lighting is soft and steady, devoid of the frantic energy from the party videos. The camera is propped up, capturing a modest kitchen where Yoongi stands at the stove. His sleeves are pushed up, one hand stirring a pan while the other rests loosely on the counter. There is no audience, no noise, and no performance. It is a moment of pure, domestic existence. You watch him not because of what heâs doing, but because of how normal it looks. It feels like a routine, a random Tuesday night.
"You're recording again?" He asks without turning around. There is no surprise in his voice, only a trace of mild, fond amusement. He expects you to be there. He expects you to be watching. He huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head slightly before dropping a sentence that makes your world tilt.
"Your mom might be right... weâre probably gonna be broke." Itâs said lightly, but you can tell there has clearly been a ⊠argument before. He turns back to the stove, his stirring slowing down. "Are you sure you want to marry me?"
The version of you on the floor goes completely still, as your voice filters through the speakers, answering too fast to be anything but certain, too warm to be anything but love.
"Too late," you say with a small, breathless laugh. "I already said yes." Your hand enters the frame then, running along his shoulders. A ring catches the light above the stove. It's not the one you wear now, but something small, simple, and devastatingly real.
The video cuts to black.
Your eyes dart frantically around your room. You didn't just have a past. You made a choice. You chose a life, a man, and a future that you sounded happy about.
The portable chargerâs red light blinks like a steady, mocking heartbeat. You stare at the black screen, your own reflection looking back at you with wide, terrified eyes. You look like a stranger to yourself. A woman dressed in the stable clothes of a ghost, sitting in a house built on a foundation of missing pieces.
âYour hand shakes so violently that the phone rattles against the carpet. Your brain is screaming at you to stop, to delete the file, to throw the device into the trash and run back to the spreadsheets and the beige walls where things make sense.
âBut you can't. You reach out, your breath coming in shallow, jagged hitches, and you tap the replay icon.
âThe video starts again.
âThe soft hiss of the stove. The clatter of the spatula against the pan. Yoongiâs back is to the camera, his movements fluid and relaxed.
â"Your mom might be right... weâre probably gonna be broke." He says.
âThe irony of the statement cuts through you. Your mother, who now talks of nothing but security and Corbynâs perfection.
She knew.
She knew.
â"Are you sure you want to marry me?" Yoongi asks.
âYou see him turn slightly, his profile caught in the warm kitchen light.
He looks vulnerable. â
"Too late. I already said yes." Your happy voice replies.
âYour thumb slams down on the screen, pausing the video just as your hand enters the frame, running along his shoulders. âThe image freezes and you zoom in the best you can.
âThere, on your left hand, is a ring.
âIt isn't the two-carat, princess-cut diamond that Corbyn placed on your finger in a five-star restaurant. It isn't a symbol of stability or a future built to last.
âItâs a thin, silver band. Simple. Almost delicate. In the center is a small, dark stone. Maybe an onyx or a deep garnet set in a way that looks handmade, unique, and entirely unpretentious.
âYou stare at the frozen image of your own hand. You study the way your fingers are completely relaxed against him. You weren't just dating him. You weren't just close.
âYou were his.
He was yours.
âA cold, numbing sensation spreads from your chest to your limbs. You look down at your actual hand, resting on the guest room carpet. You look at the heavy, expensive diamond reflecting the morning sun through the blinds. It feels like a shackle. It feels like a lie.
â"I already said yes," you whisper.
âYou realize now why your mother hated your past. Why she pushed Corbyn toward you before you could figure out if you truly loved him. She wasn't just putting you back together. She was rewriting the story. She took a broken girl and fixed her by erasing the parts that didn't fit into a beige, insurance-firm life.
âShe didn't just save you from the accident. She saved you from him. As you look at the silver band on the screen, you realize that the ring isn't in your jewelry box. It isn't in your childhood bedroom.
âItâs gone. Just like the girl who wore it.
Your fingers are no longer steady, but they move with a frantic energy. Tap. Tap. Tap. You aren't searching for anything specific anymore. Youâre just trying to outrun the silence of the room. The gallery shifts under your thumb in a blur of saturated colors and half-familiar faces until, suddenly, you freeze. Itâs a photo of Yoongi. In this image, he is radiant. Heâs sitting cross-legged on a hardwood floor, a guitar resting lazily against his thigh, but itâs his hair that stops your heart. Itâs a soft, faded pink, looking less like a professional dye job and more like a chaotic, beautiful home experiment.
As you stare, the present begins to fracture. You are suddenly standing in a bathroom that is far too small, the air thick with the sharp scent of chemicals and the harsh buzz of a fluorescent light overhead. Your fingers are stained a faint, rosy hue, and youâre leaning over him with a ruined towel slung across his shoulders. When he mutters that you missed a spot, his voice is low and teasing. You remember the exact texture of his hair between your fingers and the way he finally tilted his head back, defying your instructions to stay still. He smirks up at you, pressing his lips quickly to yours.
The phone nearly slips from your grip as the memory recoils, slamming you back into the stillness of the guest room. Your breath comes in sharp, jagged pulls, your lungs struggling to adjust to the air of a life that now feels entirely fraudulent.
Driven by a sudden, desperate need for confrontation, you grab your real phone and your thumb flies to the messaging app. You find Yuraâs name and start to type,
You: Why didnât you tell me?
The words look pathetic against the screen. You delete them. You try again,
You: Was IâŠ.
But you can't even finish the thought. Your gaze drifts to his name.
Yoongi.
You want to tap it, to scream into the digital void, but you realize this isn't something that can be solved with a text or softened with carefully chosen words. Fragments are no longer enough. You need the whole truth.
You push yourself up from the floor so quickly the room tilts, your equilibrium struggling to keep up with the fire in your chest. You don't even consider leaving the phone behind. You grip it like a weapon as you move through the house. Every corner of this place feels wrong now. The air is too sterile, the furniture too intentional, the silence too much like a lie. As you reach for your keys, a flicker of his voice echoes in your mind.
âAre you sure you want to marry me?â
You don't stumble this time. You lean into the ache, your jaw tightening as you pull the front door open and step out of the stable life you were never meant to lead.
<Next>
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Eventual Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
The curtains were blowing with the slight breeze carrying in slightly humid air. The storm had finally passed but the power had yet to come back on. The living room was slightly less stifling than the bedroom. However, the fabric of the couch was still sticking to your back.
Lips graze your neck making you close your eyes as your hands come up and thread your fingers into the man's hair. The world blurs at the edges, like fog rolling in and everything is soft and indistinct. The man above you, he feels like someone you've known forever, but his name slips through your fingers.
His lips press firmer against your neck now, teeth grazing the pulse point. A shiver runs down your spine, pulling a soft gasp from your throat as your fingers tighten in his hair. The couch creaks beneath you both, the sticky fabric pulling at your bare back as he shifts his weight. You arch into him without thinking, the haze in your mind thickening as his hand slides up your thigh, fingers tracing lazy circles that send sparks through the dreamlike fog.
âYou're so beautiful.â His breath is warm against your ear.
Your legs part instinctively, inviting him closer, and he obliges, his hips settling between yours with a pressure that's all too real. His mouth trails lower, kissing along your collarbone, then dipping to capture the swell of your breast. His tongue flicks over your nipple, and you moan, the sound echoing strangely in the room. Everything feels amplified yet distant. His free hand cups your other breast, thumb rolling the sensitive bud while his teeth nip gently, sending jolts straight to your core.
âWho are you?â You whisper, before his mouth claims yours in a deep, devouring kiss.
âYou know who I am,â he says. "Watch me."
His hands grip your thighs, spreading them wider as he slides down your body. You prop yourself up on your elbows, heart pounding. The room spins a bit, it's hard for you to focus.
He settles between your legs, pushing your knees apart until you're fully exposed to his gaze. His breath fans hot over your core first, teasing, before his tongue darts out to trace a slow line from your entrance to your clit. You gasp, hips jerking up, but he holds you steady, palms firm on your inner thighs.
You try to fix your eyes on him as commanded. However, it's blurring just like the radio in the car. You close your eyes as his head dips lower between your parted thighs. He licks flat and broad, tongue pressing against your folds, lapping up you with hungry strokes that make your toes curl.
âLook at me,â he groans against you again.
The haze swirls more, but you open your eyes. The room is still blurry, but when you look down. His hair catches the faint light of the moon through the window. Pale mint green strands falling forward over his eyes are the only sharp detail in the fog. It's familiar, tugging at some buried memory, but before it can surface, pleasure crashes over you.
He sucks your clit into his mouth, teeth grazing lightly as his tongue circles it relentlessly, fingers digging into your thighs to keep you open. You moan and sink your hands into his hair. His tongue thrusts inside you next, sliding in and out with wet, deliberate pushes, while his thumb presses your clit in firm circles. Waves of heat build, coiling tight in your belly, your body arching off the sticky couch.
The pale mint green of his hair blurs into the haze. The feelings of his hands on you were slipping away. The room was growing darker.
Darker.
You wake up blinking rapidly as thunder outside slightly shakes your bedroom windows.
You look over your shoulder at Corbyn sleeping. His dark hair rests perfectly against his pillow.
Dark hair.
Swallowing, you slowly climb out of bed and walk to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind you, you turn the light over the vanity on before splashing your face with water. You look at yourself in the mirror and then down at the hidden picture in your headband drawer. Tapping your fingers quickly against the countertop you bend down and open the drawer.
Moving the hair accessories aside, you pull out the group picture that started it all with shaky fingers. Breathing deeply, you scan the picture. Jin, mid bite. Taehyung mid sentence. Hobi jumping. Joon and his crooked glasses. Jungkook staring at a happy Yura. Jimin leaning forward smiling. YouâŠand right behind you. Yoongi with his pale mint green hair.
Your grip loosens on the photo, and you let out a slow breath, shaking your head like you can physically dislodge the feeling.
âIt's the community center,â you murmur, quieter now. âThatâs all it is.â
It makes sense.
It has to make sense.
Youâve been seeing him more. Talking to him more. Spending time with him side by side. Your brain is just⊠filling in the gaps.
Thatâs what people say happens, right?
They follow you.
Into your thoughts.
Into your sleep.
Your eyes flick back to the picture. To the way Yoongi was standing behind your shoulder wearing a small smirk. To the pale mint hair on top of his head.
Not some⊠dream version of him.
You swallow.
You slide the picture back into the drawer, a little quicker than before, like putting it away will erase the lingering dream. The clear picture you have of his head dipping between your thighs.
âJust a dream,â you say again, firmer this time.
You turn off the bathroom light and head back to bed. Corbyn hasnât moved. The storm outside isn't bothering him at all.
You slip back into bed beside him, careful and quiet.
Normal.
This is normal.
You close your eyes, pulling the blanket up slightly and for a split second. Just before sleep takes you again, you feel it.
Not a touch. Not really.
But the ghost of one. Warm breath against your ear.
You know who I am.
Your eyes snap open.
The room is silent except for the storm.
Both outside and inside of you.
You donât hear her knock.
Not over the storm still rumbling in the distance. Not over the quiet ringing in your ears that hasnât quite gone away since you woke up. What you do hear though, is the handle turning. Your head snaps up from where youâre standing in the kitchen. Your fingers loosely wrapped around the glass of water you haven't taken a sip from. The door opens and your mother is already stepping inside. Relief flashes across her face first before it disappears just as fast, replaced by something tighter.
âThere you are,â she says.
âMom,â you breathe out.
âIâve been calling you.â She shuts the door behind her with a firm click, already slipping her phone into her bag. âRepeatedly.â
Your gaze drifts toward the counter where your phone sits dark and silent. You hadnât even realized.
âI was asleep,â you say, your voice quiet.
âYou never sleep in.â She comments.
âI didnât sleep well last night.â You shrug.
That part isnât a lie.
âWell. Youâre awake now,â she says.
Her attention moves past you, sweeping over the house like sheâs checking for something. The cleanliness, order, signs of a life she approves of. Things that she and Corbyn love.
âWe need to go over the wedding details,â she continues, moving further inside without waiting for an invitation. âI spoke to the planner last night, and she said you still havenât confirmed the ⊠changes you wanted. Also, the florist is asking aboutâŠâ
âI canât today.â You cut her off.
âWhat?â She stops, her eyes staring at you seriously.
Your fingers tighten slightly around the glass in your hand. The condensation has started to drip against your skin, but you barely notice.
âI have plans.â You swallow.
âAnd whatever it is you think youâre doing,â she says carefully, each word placed with precision. âIs it more important than finalizing your wedding?â
You should say no. You know you should. It would be easier. It would end this, but you can't.
âIt is.â You nod.
âWhat plans?â She asks as her posture straightens.
You hesitate and you hate that you do. You know that it gives her time to fill in the gaps.
âWhat are you doing?â She presses. âAnd donât tell me itâs something insignificant, because clearly youâve decided it takes priority over your responsibilities.â
âItâs not insignificant.â Your jaw tightens slightly.
âThen explain it.â She places her hand on her hip.
Your grip loosens just enough that the glass shifts in your hand. You set it down on the counter before you drop it.
âIâm helping out somewhere,â you say finally.
âWhere?â Her brows draw together, unimpressed.
âAt a community center.â You answer honestly, just like Jimin said. âWith kids,â you add, quieter now. âArt stuff.â
âI see.â Her fingers start tapping against her hip now.
âItâs just on Saturdays,â you say, before you can stop yourself. âItâs not like itâs interfering with anything.â
âIt clearly is,â she cuts in smoothly. âI donât understand. Why would you choose this of all things to occupy your time when you have far more important matters to focus on.â
âIt makes me happy.â Your fingers curl slightly against the counter.
âHappy,â she repeats.
âYes.â You confirm. âHappy.â
âYou have a good life,â she says. âA stable life. Corbyn isâŠâ She pauses just briefly, like sheâs choosing the right word. âGood to you.â
âI know.â Your eyes drop for a second before you can stop them.
âThen Iâm struggling to understand,â she says, stepping a little closer. âWhy do you feel the need to⊠supplement that with⊠distractions.â
âItâs not a distraction.â You argue.
âWhat is it, then?â She sounds exasperated.
âItâs justâŠâ you exhale softly, searching for something that wonât sound as fragile as it feels. âItâs something I enjoy.â
âYou enjoy plenty of things,â she says. âYou have your routines. Your responsibilities.â
âThey donât feel like this.â Your jaw tightens just slightly.
âAnd how exactly does this feel?â She asks, leaning in closer to you.
You open your mouthâŠthen close it again. You donât have a clean answer. Not one sheâll accept.
âI'm not sure,â you settle on finally.
âThis is exactly what I was concerned about,â she says, quieter now. âYouâre attaching meaning to something trivial because itâs new. Different.â
âItâs notâŠâ You shake your head.
âYou donât remember what things were like before,â she continues, talking over you now. âSo you donât recognize the patterns when they start again.â
âIâm not..â You try again.
âYou had a tendency,â she says carefully. âTo throw yourself into things that felt good in the moment without thinking about where they would lead.â
âIâm just helping kids paint,â you say.
âFor now,â she says quietly.
âWhy does it matter so much?â You ask, the question slipping out before you can stop it.
âBecause we worked very hard to get you here,â she says. âTo give you something stable after everything that happened.â
You take a deep breath and look down at the floor.
âThis,â she gestures vaguely around you. âThis is a life you can depend on. One that makes sense.â
âAnd me volunteering to help finger paint doesn't make sense?â You ask.
âNo,â she says simply. âIt doesnât.â
âIâm not doing anything wrong.â You shake your head
âYouâre losing focus,â she corrects. âThereâs a difference. Corbyn makes you happy.â
âI..â Your voice falters. âI donâtâŠI donât know if he does.â
âWhat?â She stares blankly at you.
âI donât know if he makes me happy,â you say again, quieter this time. âOr if I just⊠accepted that everyone told me he does.â
Her face hardens instantly.
âI met him when I didnât remember anything. Anyone.â Your breath comes uneven now, your chest tightening with each word. âHe was there and you liked him. You really liked him and I didnât have anything else,â you admit, softer now. âNo point of reference. No⊠before to compare him to.â
Your mother crosses her arms. You think you can see the veins on the side of her neck start to pop.
âSo I said yes,â you continue. âTo him. To this. To everything. Because I was told it made sense. However, I don't know if it does now.â
Your momâs expression shifts from shock before she smooths it back into something controlled.
Contained.
âThatâs not how this works,â she says, her voice low. âYou donât dismiss something stable just because youâre feeling uncertain.â
âIâm not ⊠dismissing it,â you say.
âYouâre questioning it,â she corrects. âBased on what? A hobby? A change in routine?â
âItâs notâŠâ You start.
âYou are overwhelmed,â she cuts in, more forceful now. âThatâs all this is. We made sure you had a future. Something good. Something safe.â
We.
âThatâs just it,â you murmur. âYou made sure. You made all the choices and I nodded numbly,â you admit.
Your mom doesnât respond right away.
âYouâre overwhelmed,â she repeats. âAnd youâre letting that cloud your judgment. This is exactly why you need to stay focused on what matters.â
âI still have plans,â you say instead, making her eyes narrow slightly.
âWeâre not finished with this,â she says.
âI am,â you say. âI have glitter containment to focus on.â
With that, you turn on your heel and head for the front door leaving your mother alone. You were done fighting for the moment. If she wants to plan your perfect wedding, she can finish what she already started.
Youâre busying yourself with the supply closet, stacking boxes of markers that don't need stacking, just to keep your hands from shaking.
âEvery time the door creaks, your stomach flips.
Watch me.
âThe whisper from the dream echoes in your ears, making the back of your neck prickle. You try to tell yourself it was just the storm, just the subconscious mind playing tricks with old photos, but your heart isn't buying the lie.
â"You're going to collapse that shelf if you keep pushing those markers back any further."
âThe voice is low, gravelly, and directly behind you.
âYou jump, a box of Washable Neon hitting the floor with a plastic clatter. You spin around, and there he is. Yoongi. Heâs wearing a white hoodie today, the sleeves pushed up to show the pale skin of his forearms. His hair isn't the mint green from the photo. Itâs dark,but the look in his eyes is identical to the boy hidden away in the bathroom drawer.
â"Sorry," you breathe out, crouching down to scramble for the markers.
âYoongi doesn't stay standing. He drops down into a crouch opposite you. He picks up a neon green marker and holds it out. As you reach for it, your fingers brush. âHis touch from the dream suddenly feels very, very real.
âYou pull back a second too fast. Yoongiâs hand stays extended for a beat, his dark eyes tracking your movement. He doesnât look away.
â"Rough night?" He asks.
â"My mom stopped by this morning," you say, desperate for a safe topic. "She's... not a fan of the glitter containment position."
âDon't I know that,â he mutters under his breath.
ââWhat?â You question, but he shakes his head.
âNothing,â Yoongi says quietly as he stands up, offering you a hand to help you up.
âYou stare at his palm. His hand. The same hand that was all over your body in your dream. Before you can take it, Minjun bursts into the room, wearing a cape made of a garbage bag.
"YOONGI! Y/N! The Moon Tree is falling! The gravity is winning!" He exclaims.
âYoongi doesn't break eye contact with you as he smirks. The exact one from the photo touches his lips.
â"Can't have that," Yoongi murmurs to you. "Better go help him. Unless you're too busy with the markers?"
â"The tree takes priority," you say, trying to sound light and casual.
As âyou reach the Moon Tree, which is indeed leaning precariously to the left. Hobi is already there, trying to prop it up with a yardstick.
â"Y/N! Thank god," Hobi beams, though he looks stressed. "We need a structural engineer and a miracle."
â"I've got the tape," you say, pulling the roll from your apron.
âBut as you reach up to steady the cardboard, you see Yoongi enter the room. He leans against the far wall, arms crossed, watching you work. You keep remembering the dream a little too vividly. The kisses on your neck, fingers on your thighs and suddenly, you can't seem to focus.
â"Hey, Y/N?" Minjun asks, tugging on your jeans. "Why is your face red?"
âYou blink, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks even more as you catch Yoongiâs eye. He definitely can see it.
â"Because, Minjun," you say, pressing a heavy strip of tape over a broken seam. "It's warm in here."
"Warm in here," Hobi echoes, fanning himself with his hand and offering you a sympathetic, if slightly knowing, grin. "Tell me about it. This place is a kiln today. I think the AC is just blowing out spicy air at this point."
âYou keep your eyes glued to the Moon Tree, focused on the jagged edge of the cardboard, but you can feel Yoongiâs gaze like a physical weight against your back. He hasnât moved from the wall. He isn't helping, but he isn't leaving either. Heâs just observing.
â"I need more support on the base," you say, your voice a little higher than usual.
â"Iâm on it!" Minjun shouts, diving into the pile of supplies.
âAs you reach up to secure the top branch, the yardstick Hobi is holding slips. The massive cardboard structure starts tilting sharply toward you. You brace for the impact of a painted forest, but it never comes.
âSuddenly, a pale hand reaches over your shoulder, bracing the tree with effortless strength. The scent of himâŠ.something cool, like rain washes over you. Yoongi is standing so close that you can feel the heat from his chest.
â"Youâre doing it wrong," he murmurs, his voice vibrating right next to your ear. Itâs the same tone from the dream, minus the whispered secrets. "If you tape it like that, the tension will just snap the cardboard. You have to reinforce the spine first."
âHe doesn't move away. He reaches around you with his other hand to take the tape from your frozen fingers. For a heartbeat, you are effectively trapped between the Moon Tree and Yoongi.
â"Like this," he says. His movements are precise, his fingers long and dexterous. You watch the way his veins move under the skin of his hands. The same hands that, hours ago, were part of a fantasy that made you wake up gasping.
â"Right," you manage to say, your throat dry. "The spine. Thanks."
Yoongi doesn't pull back immediately after the tape is secure. He lingers for a fraction of a second, his chest nearly brushing your shoulder blades. The spine of the tree is reinforced, but yours feels like itâs turned to liquid.
â"There," he says, finally stepping back, though he only retreats a few inches. "Itâll hold now."
âHobi lets out a theatrical sigh of relief, wiping fake sweat from his forehead.
"Yoongi to the rescue. As usual. I was about to start praying to the cardboard gods." He gives you a quick, bright smile, but his eyes flicker between you and Yoongi with a sharpness that suggests heâs tracking your every move in the room. "Iâm gonna go help Minjun with the gravity situation in the back. Try not to let the forest collapse again."
âHobi hustles away, dragging a cheering Minjun with him, and suddenly the space around the Moon Tree feels way too small.
âYou keep your hands busy, smoothing down the edges of the tape Yoongi just applied. You don't want to look at him. If you look at him, the dark hair in front of you might blur back into that pale mint green.
â"You're shaking," Yoongi says.
â"I'm just over caffeinated," you lie, your voice sounding small even to your own ears.
â"You didn't have any coffee this morning," he counters. He moves to the side, forcing you to either look at him or stare at a blank wall. "I saw you walk in with a half-empty bottle of water and eyes like youâd seen a ghost."
âYou finally look up. Heâs watching you with an intensity that is almost painful. Itâs the look of someone who isn't just seeing you, but recognizing you. Itâs the look from the photo in your drawer. The one your mother clearly wants you to forget exists.
â"I just had a weird dream," you say, trying to regain some footing. "The storm was loud. It happens."
"What kind of dream?" âYoongi tilts his head, a stray lock of dark hair falling over his forehead.
âYou swallow hard. You can't tell him the truth. You can't tell him that in your head, he has mint hair and his touch is the only thing that feels like home. You can't tell him that his dream version knows things about your body that your stable life has never even explored.
â"Just... the pastâŠI think," you whisper. "Bits and pieces. Nothing that makes sense."
âYoongiâs expression softens, but his eyes darken. He takes a step closer, closing the gap Hobi left behind. He reaches out, his hand hovering near your arm before he seems to think better of it and drops it to his side.
â"Maybe your nonsense dreams are your brain's way of trying to work out what is real from the past,â he suggests.
â"Why are you here, Yoongi?" You ask, the question coming out more raw than you intended. "Every Saturday. Why are you always here?"
âHe looks at the Moon Tree, then back at you. A bittersweet smile touches his lips.
âBecause,â he says quietly. âSomeone I once loved, loved it here.â
You freeze.
Someone I once loved.
"Oh," you whisper. "I... I didn't know."
"You wouldn't," Yoongi says. His voice is flat, but not cold. He reaches out and picks at a loose thread on the white sleeve of his hoodie, his gaze dropping to your sneakers. "It was a long time ago. Before the world got... complicated."
"Was she... an artist?" You shift your weight, your fingers still resting against the cardboard spine he just reinforced.
Yoongi looks up then, and for a split second, the dark hair doesn't matter. The intensity in his eyes is so familiar it makes your knees weak. You think that was probably how he was looking at you in your dream.
"She was everything," he says quietly. "She was the noise and the color. She liked the messy parts of life. The parts that didn't always make sense."
"What happened to her?" You ask, your voice trembling.
"She lost herself," he says, his voice dropping to a gravelly rasp. "And found herself a better life."
The suspicion that has been a dull ache in the back of your mind suddenly sharpens into a needle-point. You think of your motherâs face this morning. The way she looked at you with a mixture of pity and fear. You think of Corbynâs perfect hair on the perfect pillow. You think of the way Yoongi knew you hadn't had coffee today the moment he saw you.
"Yoongi," you start, stepping toward him. "Do you... do weâŠ"
"Yoongi! The stars!" Minjunâs voice cuts through the tension like a blade. The little boy skids back over, holding a bucket of yellow cut-outs. "We need the tall person to reach the ceiling! Hobi is too shaky!"
Yoongi breaks eye contact, the spell snapping. He draws in a sharp breath, his shoulders squaring as he slides his mask of cool indifference back into place.
"Duty calls," he mutters, though his hand lingers on the Moon Tree for one last second, right next to yours. He looks at youâŠreally looks at youâŠ.and for a heartbeat, you see the mint-haired boy screaming to be recognized. "Don't overthink it, Y/N. Like you said... it's just a dream."
He turns and walks toward Minjun. You stand by the leaning tree, your heart racing. You remember the ghost of the breath against your ear from the morning.
You know who I am.
You watch him lift Minjun up onto his shoulders to reach the ceiling. You watch the way his hands steady the boy, careful and sure.
You look down at your hand. The skin where he brushed against you is tingling. You aren't overwhelmed, and you aren't losing focus. For the first time since you woke up in that hospital bed years ago, you feel like you are finally starting to see.
âI wasn't sure if you still liked all the old foods that you used to,â Yura calls from the kitchen. âSo⊠I made a little bit of everything.â
âI'm not that picky,â you laugh as you sit on her living room floor, looking around. âI'm just not a fan ofâŠâ
âSpicy food,â she finishes and pokes her head out of the kitchen.
âYeah,â you say quietly. âWhere's Jungkook?â
âI kicked him out,â she laughs. âHe and Tae are off doing⊠something.â
Yura comes out to the living room with a tray of food stacked with plates of food. Yura sets the tray down carefully between you, the soft clink of dishes grounding in a way everything else hasnât been.
âI kind of got nervous,â she says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she lowers herself across from you. âSo I made a mix. Some old favorites⊠and some safer options.â
You glance over the spread. Rice, a few side dishes, something that smells faintly sweet, something else you vaguely recognize but canât quite place. It feels familiar in a distant way.
âLooks like you cooked for ten people,â you tease lightly.
âI used to.â Yura smiles, but thereâs something careful behind it.
The words hang there for a second.
âThen I guess Iâm lucky I showed up hungry.â You say, grabbing some utensils.
She laughs. This time more genuine and gestures toward the food.
âTry that one first,â she says, pointing. âYou used to steal it off my plate.â
âUsed to?â You echo.
âReligiously,â she nods. âLike, Iâd turn my head for two seconds and itâd be gone.â
You pick up a small bite, hesitating just a second before tasting it.
âOh.â Your brows lift slightly.
âWhat?â Yura leans forward immediately. âIs it bad? Too much?â
âNo,â you shake your head quickly. âNo, itâs⊠itâs good.â
It is good. More than that, actually. Thereâs something about the flavor that feels⊠right.
âI thinkâŠâ you start slowly, searching for the feeling. âI think I remember liking this.â
âYeah?â She asks, softer now.
âYeah.â You take another bite, more certain this time. âI donât remember when, but⊠it tastes familiar.â
Relief washes over her face in a way thatâs almost too quick, like sheâs been holding her breath.
âGood,â she murmurs. âThatâs⊠thatâs really good.â
âYoongi.â You chew. âHe mentioned we became friends in our art class. That you couldn't stand anyone else in there.â
Yura doesnât even hesitate. She lets out a laugh, immediate and sharp, like the memory hits her all at once.
âCouldnât stand them?â She repeats. âThatâs putting it nicely.â
âSo, heâs right?â You glance up at her, a small smile tugging at your lips.
âOh, completely,â she nods, shifting to sit cross-legged across from you. âEveryone in that class thought they were the next big thing. Very⊠brooding. Very âyou wouldnât understand my artâ energy.â
âI already donât like them.â You snort softly.
âYou didnât,â she confirms, shaking her head. âFrom day one.â
âWhat did I do?â You ask, leaning forward slightly without realizing it.
âYou walked in late,â she says, grinning. âHair a mess, paint already on your handsâŠno idea where it even came fromâŠand you just⊠looked around like youâd been dropped into the wrong room.â
You watch her get a far away look in her eyes.
âAnd then,â she continues, clearly enjoying this. âInstead of doing the assignment like everyone elseâŠstill life, super precise, super boring. You grabbed a canvas and dumped paint on it.â
âDumped?â You blink.
âDumped,â she repeats firmly. âLike full-on chaos. No sketch, no plan. Just color everywhere.â
A flickerâŠquick, almost too fast to catch..flashes behind your eyes.
Paint on your fingers.
Laughter.
Music too loud in a quiet room.
You inhale softly.
âAnd they hated that,â you guess.
âOh, they were horrified,â Yura laughs. âYou were getting the dirtiest looks. One girl actually whispered that you were disrespecting the medium.â
âNo way.â You choke out a quiet laugh.
âYes way.â She nods eagerly. âAnd you justâŠ.did not care. At all. You kept going. Made an even bigger mess just to prove a point, I think.â
âWhat point was that?â You ask.
âI have no idea,â she laughs.
Yura pauses, her eyes softening as she looks at the space between you, as if sheâs watching that messy, paint-splattered version of you right there in the living room.
â"I think," Yura says, her voice dropping to a warm, nostalgic hum. "Your point was that it didn't have to be perfect to be real. You used to say that if you had to plan every stroke, you weren't painting. You were just following directions. And you hated following directions. Every time the professor would try to talk to you about doing the assignment correctly. You would paint your hair out of boredom.â
You swallow.
Yoongi was right.
You did paint your hair on purpose.
âI passed though?â You question.
âYup, you sure did,â she laughs.
You let out a small breath, something in your chest loosening just a little more.
âOkay,â you murmur. âSo I wasnât completely hopeless.â
âNot even close.â Yura smiles.
Your eyes drift as you take another bite, but this time they donât land on the food. They catch on something behind her. On the wall there is a large frame with not just one picture but several.
âWhatâs that?â Your brows knit slightly.
âOh, those?â Yura glances over her shoulder.
But youâre already leaning, shifting onto your knees, drawn toward it without really thinking.
Itâs a collage.
All from the same night.
You can tell by the lighting. The warm glow, the way everyone looks a little flushed, a little too happy. The way everyone is wearing the same clothes.
The first photoâŠ
All of you.
Jin mid-laugh, head thrown back. Taehyung making some exaggerated face. Hobi half-blurred like he moved too fast. Joon looking like heâs trying to keep it together but failing. Jungkook leaning in toward Yura. Yoongi has Jimin's arm slung around his shoulder.
And you.
Youâre there too.
Grinning. Bright. Alive.
Happy in a way that hurts to look at.
But thenâŠ.
Your eyes shift to a second photo and something makes you stop.
âWait.â You say and Yura stills slightly behind you. âIâm not in this one.â
Yura doesnât answer right away as your eyes continue to study the second photo. The same night. The same clothes. Clearly taken not too far apart.
âAndâŠâ your voice quiets further. âYoongiâs not either.â
Silence.
âWhy?â You turn your head slightly, looking back at her.
Yura opens her mouth and closes it. She looks at the picture before she laughs, a little too quick.
âOh, that?â She waves a hand lightly. âYou guys used to do that all the time.â
âDo what?â Your brows pull together.
âDisappear,â she says, like itâs nothing. âMid hangout. One second youâre there, next secondâŠgone.â
âWe did?â Your heart skips.
âYeah.â She nods, but thereâs something⊠uncertain behind her eyes now. âIt was kind of your thing.â
Your gaze drifts back to the picture.
Gone.
Both of you.
At the same time.
Something about that doesnât sit right.
âWhere did we go?â You ask, quieter now and Yura hesitates just for a second.
âOhâŠyou know.â She waves it off again, turning back toward the food. âYou guys would go off studying together.â
âStudying?â You repeat, not moving.
âYeah,â she nods quickly. âYou guys were weird about that. Always had those big headphones onâŠlike, you couldnât function without them.â
âThat doesnât sound like what you just said.â You look at her much more carefully now.
Yura freezes for half a second and then laughs again, but itâs softer this time.
âI just mean,â she backtracks. âYouâd disappear to go study. Together. Library, empty hallways⊠that kind of thing.â
Your eyes narrow slightly. Not in accusation, but in thought.
âTogether,â you echo.
âYeah,â she says, picking at her sleeve now. âYou were kind of inseparable back then. The guys can get distracting, but you and Yoongi could always get your work done together. That's all.â
Inseparable.
Your gaze flicks back to the photo again.
To the empty space where you should be.
To where he should be.
âWe didnât come back for the picture?âYou ask.
âGuess not.â Yura shrugs, too casually, but you notice the way her fingers fidget. The way her eyes donât quite meet yours.
âYou had these headphones,â she adds quickly, like sheâs filling space. âHuge ones. And your wires would get all tangled together, soâŠ.â She smiles, more genuinely now, grabbing onto the memory. âYoongi put rainbow tape around yours so you could tell them apart.â
âRainbow tape?â Your breath catches.
âYeah,â she nods. âBecause you kept stealing his by accident. Or on purpose to mess with him,â she adds with a small grin. âHard to tell with you.â
A faint image flickersâŠ
Wires crossing.
Hands brushing.
You swallow.
âAnd we just⊠studied?â You ask again, softer this time.
âYeah,â she says after a short pause. âYou know⊠just studying.â
But it doesnât feel like just that.
Not with the way she said disappear first.
Not with the way she had to correct it.
Not with the way your chest feels tight looking at that empty space in the photo.
You look back at it one more time. Two versions of the same night.One where youâre there and one where youâre not.
And for some reasonâŠ
The second one feels louder.
You donât move right away. Your eyes stay on the frame a second longer, tracing the edges of moments you canât fully step into. You shift back slowly, settling onto the floor again, but your mind doesnât quite follow. It lingers on the gap, on Yuraâs pause, on the way disappear came out too easily.
You reach for your food again, more out of habit than hunger.
âYou guys did a lot together,â you say, keeping your tone light. Casual.
âYeah. We did.â Yura glances up.
âI mean, I can tell,â you gesture vaguely toward the wall. âThereâs⊠a lot of pictures.â
âI like keeping memories where I can see them.â She smiles.
Your eyes move past the collage to her shelf where a nice photo album sits.
Itâs white with fancy writing.
âIs that your wedding album?â Your hand pauses midair.
Yura follows your line of sight and something in her expression changes just a little.
âYeah,â she says, softly.
âCan I see it?â You tilt your head slightly.
Itâs a simple question, but you watch her hesitate.
âYeah,â she says finally. âOf course.â
She gets up, brushing her hands against her jeans like she needs something to do with them, and walks over to the shelf.
You watch her carefully and the way she handles it.
Gentle.
Careful.
Like it holds more than just pictures. She brings it back and sits down across from you again, placing it between you both instead of handing it over. Her fingers linger on the cover for a second before she opens it.
The first page is her in white.
Smiling.
Radiant.
You feel something twist in your chest.
âYou lookedâŠâ you start, then stop.
âHappy?â She offers.
âYeah.â You nod.
She smiles faintly, but her eyes donât quite match it and you turn the page.
Jungkook, standing at the front of the wedding venue looking nervous and excited.
The next page.
Jin. Taehyung. Hobi. Joon. Jimin. Yoongi.
All there and all dressed up. Your fingers slow as you flip.
Something starts to settle in your stomach. A quiet realization as you keep going.
The bridal party.
âWait.â You blink.
You look closer on her side. Not women standing beside her.
The guys.
Hobi, grinning too wide in a slightly-too-formal suit.
Taehyung, somehow still making it look effortless.
Jin, trying to look composed and failing.
âThe guys were your⊠bridesmaids?â You ask and she nods. âWhy?"
âThey love me the most,â she says simply.
Your gaze drops back to the page. To how the space beside her⊠was filled but not in the way you expected.
âIâm sorry,â you say quietly.
âFor what?â Yura frowns.
âFor missing it.â You sniff.
âYou didnât choose to miss it,â she says gently as her expression softens.
âHow did you know Jungkook was the one?â You ask her and she sighs, rolling her eyes.
âI didn't,â she smirks. âNot at first anyway. He was loud, annoying. I couldn't stand him.â
You tilt your head, a small smile playing on your lips as you imagine a younger, more chaotic Jungkook being too much for the composed woman sitting in front of you.
â"What changed then?" You ask, leaning in. "If you couldn't stand him, how did he go from annoying to being the man that you married?"
âYura lets out a long, dramatic sigh, but her eyes are dancing with a warmth that betrays her. She traces the edge of a photo where Jungkook is looking at her like sheâs the only person in the room. A look that seems to have never faded.
â"Honestly?" She says, her voice dropping into a conspiratorial whisper. "It was you."
"Me?" âYou blink, a hand coming up to rest against your chest.
âWe were in the art room,â she recalls. âYou were actually working on your assignment and he was being loud in the hall, messing around and tripping over his own feet. I wanted to yell at him. Then you said he was only like that because he was afraid if he was quiet I wouldn't notice him.â
âDid he ask you out after that?â You ask and she shakes her head.
âYou forced me to ask him out,â she smiles. âTold me one date wouldn't hurt. So, I did and here we are.â
âSo, I meddled where I didn't belong?â You laugh.
âYou belonged,â she says quickly.
You glance up, but sheâs already reaching forward, flipping the page of the album like sheâs gently closing a door before you can step through it.
âAnyway,â she adds, tone shifting just enough to be noticeable if youâre paying attention. âYou wouldâve loved the reception.â
Your fingers pause against the edge of the page.
âYeah?â You ask, letting her lead it away.
âYeah,â she nods, relaxing a little as the topic moves. âIt was chaos. Jin cried. Like⊠ugly cried. We have photos somewhere but Iâm legally not allowed to show them.â
âI believe that.â You smile, the image coming easily.
âAnd Taehyung somehow convinced the DJ to let him take over for twenty minutes,â she continues, rolling her eyes. âIâm pretty sure he played the same song three times and YoongiâŠâ she stops for half a second, then continues more carefully.âYoongi stayed mostly in the back. Kept things running when everything got too loud.â
Your gaze dips back to the album without meaning to.
Back to him.
In a suit.
Composed.
Separate.
âHe doesnât seem like the party type,â you say quietly.
âHe isnât. He hates attention, but he sucked it up for us.â Yura lets out a soft breath.
âStill sounds like it was a good night,â you say as you gently close the album, your palm resting on the cover for a second longer than necessary.
âIt was,â she replies, softer now.
The rest of the meal is filled with the kind of comfortable noise only a loving friendship can produce. Yura keeps the stories coming. The time Hobi and you tried to recreate a dance on some stairs and you ended up falling down them. How Jin got kicked out of the dorms for setting off the fire alarms too many times for cooking with contraband equipment."
Just as youâre finishing the last of the side dishes, the front door bursts open.
"I smell home cooking and I am a hungry man!" Jungkookâs voice precedes him into the room. He rounds the corner, his eyes lighting up at the spread on the floor. "Y/N! Youâre still here! And is thatâŠ" He dives toward a plate of glazed potatoes. "Yura, youâre an angel sent from the heavens."
"Iâm an angel whoâs about to kick you out again if you don't use a napkin," Yura warns, though her eyes soften instantly at the sight of him.
Whatever you were feeling before suddenly disappears into something more frantic and vibrant with Jungkook there. Heâs a whirlwind of stories about whatever Tae had him doing, gesturing wildly with his chopsticks and making you laugh until your chest aches.
It makes your chest ache with longing.
"It's getting late," you say, looking at the window. "I should probably get home. Corbyn will be... wondering."
The mention of his name acts like a cold breeze. Jungkookâs smile falters just a fraction, and Yuraâs hands go still where sheâs stacking plates.
"I'll walk you to your car," Jungkook says, standing up before you can protest. "Itâs dark out, and the streetlights on this block are⊠moody. Just give me a minute."
"I'm fine, Jungkook, really," you start as he disappears.
"Let him," Yura says, her voice unusually firm. She stands and gives you a quick, tight squeeze. "Come back soon, okay? The brooding artist misses you."
The walk to the curb is quiet. Jungkook walks with his hands shoved deep into his pockets of his sweatshirt, his shoulders hunched. He seems different away from the light of the house. Less like the energetic man and more like someone carrying a heavy secret.
When you reach your car, you turn to say goodbye, but the words die in your throat. Jungkook is looking around the street, his eyes darting toward the shadows.
"Everything okay?" You ask.
He doesn't answer. Instead, he reaches into his sweatshirt and pulls something out. He grips it tight, his knuckles white.
"Y/N," he says, his voice low and vibrating with a nervous energy that makes your heart skip. "I... I can't do it anymore."
"Do what?" You ask.
"Watch you look at us like we're strangers," he whispers. "Watch you go back to that house with a man you don't evenâŠ" He cuts himself off, shaking his head. "I can't stand to see you struggle to find yourself when the answers were always right there."
He takes a step closer, his shadow falling over you. He reaches out and gently takes your hand, pressing a cold, rectangular object into your palm.
Your fingers curl around it. Itâs a phone. An older model, the screen cracked in a spiderweb pattern across the top corner.
"It's yours," Jungkook says, his voice trembling. "Your old one. From... before."
You stare at the device. It feels heavy, like itâs made of lead. "Jungkook, I have a phone. My mom said my old one was destroyed in theâŠ" You start.
"She's lying," he says, the word sharp and bitter. "She tried to get rid of it. I found it. We've tried to get it to turn on, believe me. Yoongi spent weeks on it. Jimin tried every charger in the city. It won't wake up. Itâs dead."
He looks at you, his eyes brimming with a desperate kind of hope.
"But maybe it'll remember you," he whispers. "Even if it doesn't turn on... maybe holding it will help you remember. Donât tell anyone. Don't tell your mom. Don't tell Corbyn. Just... keep it."
Before you can ask him what he means, before you can ask why his voice breaks when he says Yoongi's name, he lets go of your hand.
"Goodnight, Y/N," he says quickly, already backing away toward the house.
You stand by your car, the old phone tucked hidden in your palm. The silence of the street feels deafening. You look down at the dead screen, seeing your own reflection in the cracked glass.
You know who I am.
The ghost of the dream-whisper returns. You get into your car and sit in the darkness for a moment. Your phone could hold every answer you ever sought. Things people seem to be careful about.
You place the phone in your cup holder and start your car. Gripping your steering wheel you look out at the empty street. You had to get it to turn on. If it was the last thing you were going to do. You were going to get it to turn on.
<Next>
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Eventual Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
A/N: I know I said I wasn't going to update this week. However, I am ahead in Before I Forgot so this will be the only update this weekend. I am making progress in other writings so Iâm feeling good. I just need to not get side tracked ⊠I'm getting side tracked in other writingsâŠlol.
Saturday morning and the sunlight filters in through the tall windows. Everything is already clean. Of course it is. Corbyn had wiped it down last nightâŠtwice.
You stand just outside the kitchen for a second longer than necessary. Working up to it.
Itâs not a big thing.
It shouldnât feel like a big thing. Youâre just⊠leaving the house.
But your fingers still curl slightly at your sides before you force them to relax.
Corbyn is already there when you take a step in. He's seated at the counter with his laptop open, a mug of coffee just to the right of it like always. Heâs not typing..just reading. Scanning. His focus is sharp, contained, like everything else about him.
Routine.
Safe.
You lean lightly against the edge of the counter and take a deep breath.
âHey,â you say. He hums in acknowledgment before glancing up at you, offering a small, automatic smile. âMorning.â
âMorning,â he says.
âAre you working today?â You ask, easing into it.
âA few things,â he says, already half-glancing back at his screen. âNothing major. Just cleaning up some details before Monday.â
Your fingers tap lightly against the counter once âŠtwice.
âIâm heading out today.â You blurt out before you can overthink it.
That gets his attention as he looks up from his phone.
âYeah?â he asks. âWhat are you doing?â
âThereâs a community center a few towns over,â you say, shrugging your shoulders. âThey need help on Saturdays. Arts and crafts. I thought Iâd go help out.â
âWhere did you find this place?â He asks, looking at you closely.
âOnline,â you tell him. âIâve been looking for something to do on the weekend anyway. You've been working or golfing with clients. It seemed nice.â
âShould you be doing that right now?â He asks you, as he leans back slightly in his chair.
âWhat do you mean?â Your brows knit slightly.
âI justâŠâ He exhales softly, and looks down at his coffee cup. âWeâre getting closer to the wedding. Thereâs still a lot to finalize. Your momâs been trying to get in touch more this week,â he adds. âWhat if she needs you today?â
There it is.
Not a no.
But a reason to stay.
You shift your weight slightly, fingers curling against the counter again before you force them to relax.
âIâll have my phone,â you say. âIf she calls, Iâll answer. We can go over whatever she needs when I get back.â
Thereâs a small pause. Like something in him is deciding whether this is worth pushing.
âAlright.â He says simply.
There is no fight, no resistance. However, there is something about it that doesn't feel like approval either.
âIf anything comes up, just donât be too far,â he says, reaching for his coffee again. âItâs just⊠a busy time.â
âI know.â Your voice softens slightly. âIâll be back later.â
Nodding, he shifts back toward his laptop. The conversation has filed away.
Handled.
You linger for half a second longer.
Waiting.
For whatâŠyou donât know. Maybe you think he's going to change his mind.
âDrive safe,â he says automatically, eyes already back on the screen.
You nod, even though heâs not really looking. You turn away and walk to the front door. You linger again for a moment but all you hear is him typing on his computer.
He's not stopping you.
âBy the time you reach your car, your hands are shaking. It's not from fear, but from the sheer, electric rush of doing something that wasn't on the shared calendar. You don't check the rearview mirror as you pull out of the driveway. You don't want to see if Corbyn is watching from the window, calculating the distance between the you he knows and the you that is currently driving away.
âThe drive to the community center feelsâŠdifferent than the first time.The GPS voice is just background noise, secondary to the way your pulse is beating. When you pull into the lot, the building looks even more vibrant than it did with Taehyung. The sidewalk is chalked with lopsided rainbows, and the front doors are propped open, letting out the beautiful noise of childrenâs laughter and the high-pitched squeak of sneakers on linoleum.
âYou step inside, and the smell hits you instantly.
âPaint. Grape juice. Wet paper.
âItâs a sensory overload that makes your vision swim for a fraction of a second. You steady yourself against the doorframe, closing your eyes.
â"Hobs,â you laugh. âYou're going to get us kicked out of here.â
âIt's an art class,â he smiles at you, face covered in paint.
âThe kids are supposed to paint on the paper, not your face,â you laugh.
"You're late!" âYour eyes snap open. Hobi is jogging down the hallway, a neon-orange smudge on his cheek and a stack of plastic aprons draped over his shoulder. His eyes are glowingâŠjust like they were in your memory.
â"I was starting to think your fiancĂ© convinced you that Finger Painting Saturday wasn't a good use of your time," he teases, stopping in front of you.
â"He tried for a second," you admit, a small, genuine smile breaking through. "But I'm here."
âHobi's expression softens, his gaze searching yours for a beat too long. Almost like heâs checking to see if youâre really all there. Then, he thrusts an apron at you.
â"Good. Room 3 is currently a crime scene involving a glitter explosion and a seven-year-old named Minjun who insists that gravity is optional. Youâre on Glitter Containment duty.â
âHe leads you toward the back of the building. As you walk, you pass the music room. The door is cracked open. No piano today. Instead, thereâs the low, rhythmic thud of a bass guitar. You slow down instinctively, your heart stuttering.
â"Yoongi's in there with the older kids," Hobi says without looking back. "Heâs tougher on them than I am, but they follow him like heâs a prophet. You can go in later, but right now..."
âHe pushes open the door to Room 3.
âIt is, as promised, a disaster. â Tables are pushed together in groups, covered in butcher paper that is currently being sacrificed to the gods of Primary Colors. A dozen children are in various states of artistic frenzy. In the center of it all, a small boy with a determined scowl is trying to glue a popsicle stick to his own forehead.
â"Minjun, no," Hobi says, though he sounds more amused than tired. He nudges you forward. "This is Y/N. Sheâs the boss of the glitter. If you want the shiny stuff, you have to talk to her."
âA dozen heads whip around.
âFor a second, the pressure returns. You don't know if you should know them. You don't remember their names. You don't remember the jam jar system. You stand there, clutching your plastic apron, feeling like a stranger in your own life. âThen, a little girl in pigtails, one of which is dipping into a cup of red paint squints at you.
â"I remember you. You were gone for a long time," she says. "Did you go to the moon?"
â"Something like that," you whisper.
âYou step toward the table. Your hands move before your brain does. You grab a bottle of gold glitter. You feel the weight of it. You remember the exact flick of the wrist needed to make it shimmer without clumping.
â"I'm back now," you say, louder this time. "And I think we need more gold on that mountain, don't you?"
âThe girl nods solemnly.
The morning passes in a war zone of colors. The stickiness of the glue, the gritty texture of the glitter, the high-pitched debates over whether a dragon should be purple or extra purple.
For the first hour, you are hyper-aware of the phone in your pocket. Every time you feel a phantom vibration, your breath hitches, expecting a text from Corbyn asking a question or a call from your mother about floral arrangements. But as the floor becomes more paint than tile, you find yourselfâŠ. not caring as much.
"Y/N! Look!" Minjun shouts, having abandoned the forehead-sticking project in favor of a massive, abstract construction of pipe cleaners. "Itâs a bridge to the moon! So you can go back whenever you want!"
You laugh, a genuine, chest-deep sound that feels foreign in your own throat.
"I think Iâd rather stay here for a while, Minjun," you tell him.
Hobi passes by the doorway, balancing a tray of juice boxes. He catches your eye and winks, a silent I told you so.
Around noon, the chaos reaches a temporary lull as the kids transition to snack time. Youâre standing at the sink, scrubbing a stubborn smear of cerulean blue from your knuckles, when a low, gravelly voice vibrates through the small room.
"You're getting better at the glitter containment. Last time you were here, I think we were finding sparkles everywhere you went for a month."
You turn, drying your hands on a paper towel. Yoongi is leaning against the doorframe, his sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He looks tired in a way that suggests heâs been working on something much more complex than finger painting.
"Well, the day's not over yet," you say, nodding toward the messy tables.
Yoongi huffs a short, dry laugh. He walks over to the counter, hopping up to sit on it. Itâs a casual defiance of counter rules that makes you think of Corbynâs pristine kitchen with a sudden, sharp pang of distance.
"Hobi said you made it out," Yoongi says, his tone neutral but observant. "The fiancé didn't put a GPS tracker on your shoes?"
"Heâs not like that," you defend quietly. "Heâs just... focused. Thereâs a lot going on."
Yoongi tilts his head, watching you. He doesn't push, but he doesn't look convinced either. He reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a small piece of chocolate in a crumpled wrapper, offering it to you.
"Focus is just another word for a narrow view," he says quietly. "Don't let him focus so hard on his own things that he forgets about you."
You take the chocolate, the foil crinkling in the quiet room. Before you can respond, the silence is broken by a rhythmic thumping from the hallway.
"Y/N! Yoongi! Lunch is here!" Hobiâs voice precedes him as he skids into the room. "And by lunch, I mean I convinced the pizza place to give us the Community Hero discount, which is basically just me smiling until they gave in."
As the three of you sit on the tiny plastic chairs meant for seven-year-olds, eating pepperoni pizza. The weight on your shoulders finally starts to lift. You aren't a bride-to-be, a daughter, or a schedule-keeper. Youâre just a person with blue-stained fingers and a piece of cheap chocolate in your pocket.
Itâs then, your phone buzzes.
You pull it out. The screen glows with a picture of you and Corbyn from last Christmas. The both of you are perfectly dressed, perfectly poised in front of your parents' perfectly decorated Christmas tree.
Corbyn: Your mother called three times. Sheâs panicked about the seating chart. I told her youâd be back soon. Are you almost done?
You look at the text, then at Hobi, who is mid story about one of the kids, and Yoongi, who is watching you with that same, unblinking stillness.
You look down at the glowing screen. You glance at the pizza crusts, the glitter-stained tables, and the way Hobi is currently animatedly describing a glitter heist orchestrated by the five-year-olds. Your fingers don't hesitate. You type back with a steady hand.
You:Iâm staying. Iâm not almost done, and the seating chart will have to wait. If itâs that urgent, you can help her with it, but Iâm busy here.
You hit send and slide the phone face-down on the tiny plastic table. The silence that follows the click of the screen is liberating.
"Trouble in paradise?" Yoongi asks, his voice low, cutting through Hobiâs laughter.
"Just a seating chart," you say, reaching for another slice of lukewarm pizza. "But it's not my problem right now."
Yoongiâs lips twitch. It's not quite a smile, but a definite sign of approval. He finishes his slice and stands up, stretching his arms over his head.
"Well, if you're staying, youâre going to need help. The kids are always a little more energetic after lunch," Yoongi says.
"Are you offering to help in the art room?" Hobi interjects, pointing a finger at him.
"Yeah," Yoongi looks at you, his dark eyes trailing over the blue paint on your apron. "I'm done with the bass clinic for an hour. Need an extra set of hands?"
"I think it wouldn't hurt," you say, standing up and feeling a surge of genuine excitement. "I could definitely use someone who knows how to handle the heavy-duty glue without getting their forehead stuck to a popsicle stick."
"I make no promises about the glue, but I'm in." Yoongi let out a genuine, low chuckle.
The afternoon shifts into a different gear. Having Yoongi in the art room is a study in contrasts. While Hobi is the sun, radiating energy and chaos, Yoongi is the grounding wire. He sits at the table with the older kids, showing them how to use charcoal to create shadows, his movements precise and calm.
At one point, you find yourself standing next to him as you both help a group of kids assemble a giant cardboard tree.
"You're different here," Yoongi says quietly, his hands steadying a wobbling branch of green construction paper. He doesn't look up, but his focus is entirely on the conversation.
"Different how?" You ask.
"You're breathing," he says simply. "The last few times I saw you. You always looked like you were holding your breath. Like you were afraid to make the wrong move. Here, you just do it."
You pause, a glue stick hovering over a paper leaf. Heâs right.
"It's easier to breathe when you aren't worried about the counter being wiped down twice," you admit.
"Then maybe you should stop going back to the places that make you hold your breath." Yoongi finally looks up, his gaze intense but kind.
Before you can process the statement, a loud thud echoes from the corner.
"I DID IT!" Minjun screams, standing triumphantly atop a pile of cushions, holding a cardboard sword in the air. "I CONQUERED THE MOON!"
The room erupts into tiny little cheers. You and Yoongi share a look. A brief, shared moment of understanding that feels more real than anything you've experienced in years.
The phone in your pocket vibrates again. And again. You don't even reach for it. You just pick up another leaf and keep building the forest.
The vibration fades.
Then comes back.
Then fades again.
But for the first time, it doesnât feel like something you have to answer.
âOkay, noâŠhold that there,â you say, reaching up to steady the lopsided cardboard branch Minjun has somehow turned into a battle tower.
âThatâs not where branches go,â the pigtail girl argues, hands on her hips.
âIt is if itâs a moon tree,â Minjun shoots back.
You glance at Yoongi. He doesnât even look up from where heâs sketching a rough outline for one of the older kids.
âMoon trees donât follow Earth rules,â he says flatly, settling the argument immediately.
âSee?â Minjun says, smug as you bite back a smile.
The room continued in its chaos. Kids talking over each other, paper crinkling, glue sticks rolling off tables, someone humming off-key in the corner.
You move through it without thinking. You don't second guess yourself. You don't ask if youâre doing everything right. At some point, you realize. You havenât thought about the time in over an hour.
You find yourself sitting cross-legged on the floor, the hem of your expensive jeans ignored as they soak up a faint dusting of charcoal and chalk.
âYoongi eventually moves from the sketch table to join you on the floor, helping you navigate the structural integrity of Minjun's "Moon Tree."
â"You're overthinking the tape," Yoongi says, his voice a low rumble beneath the shrill excitement of the kids. He reaches out, his fingers brushing yours as he takes the roll. He doesn't just patch the cardboard. He reinforces it without looking worried if it's wrong. "If it falls, we just build it again. Thatâs the secret. Nothing here is permanent."
âYou look at the tree. It's a wobbling, taped-together mess of green paper and cardboard and then at your blue-stained fingers.
â"I think I forgot that things are allowed to break," you admit.
â"Everything breaks eventually," Yoongi says, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment. "The trick is deciding which things are worth putting back together and which ones are better off left as scrap."
You hum at that. Somehow, that seems perfectly fitting.
The last of the kids trickle out. Backpacks slung over one shoulder. Half-finished projects clutched like trophies. Parents calling names from the hallway. Sneakers squeaking, voices echoing, laughter trailing behind them.
And then it's quiet. Not the tight, controlled quiet of your house.
This one is different.
Itâs warm. Earned. Settling over the room in a soft exhale after hours of chaos. You stand in the middle of it, hands on your hips, taking in the aftermath.
Glitter. Everywhere.
Paper scraps litter the floor like fallen leaves. A streak of blue paint runs along one table. Someone has left behind a single googly eye stuck to the edge of a chair.
âYeah,â Hobi mutters from behind you, dragging a trash bag across the floor. âThis feels right. This feels like we did something.â
âFeels like we lost a fight with a craft store.â You huff out a quiet laugh, bending down to start gathering scraps of construction paper.
âWe won,â he corrects immediately, pointing at the cardboard moon tree still standingâŠbarelyâŠin the corner. âThat is innovation.â
âItâs leaning.â You argue with a smile.
âItâs expressive.â He shrugs.
Yoongi moves quietly through the room, stacking chairs. He doesnât rush. Doesnât complain. Just⊠works. Every now and then, he pauses to peel dried glue off the table with the edge of his nail.
Thereâs something grounding about it. The way the three of you fall into an easy rhythm. It made you feel ⊠safe. Not in the way that Corbyn was safe.
Trash bag. Wipe table. Stack chairs. Sweep glitter that refuses to be swept. At one point, you crouch down, trying to coax a stubborn smear of gold glitter into a pile, only for it to scatter again.
âYouâre fighting it wrong,â Yoongi says from above you.
âItâs glitter. There is no right way.â You glance up.
He crouches beside you, close enough that your shoulders almost brush. He reaches over, grabbing a slightly damp paper towel instead of the dry one youâve been using, pressing it down gently.
The glitter sticks instantly.
âOh.â You blink.
âTold you,â he mutters.
âIâm choosing to believe youâve had way too much experience with this.â You huff a quiet laugh, shaking your head.
âVolunteering hazard,â he says.
Hobi ties off the trash bag with a dramatic flourish and straightens, looking between the two of you.
âSo,â he starts, casual, but not really and you glance over at him, still crouched on the floor.
âSo,â you echo.
âYou thinking about coming back?â He hooks his hands on his hips, rocking back on his heels.
âYeah.â You answer immediately.
It surprises you how easy it is to say. Hobiâs face breaks into a wide grin, bright and unfiltered.
âYeah?â He repeats.
You nod, pushing yourself to your feet, brushing your hands off on your already ruined jeans.
âYeah,â you say again, softer but no less sure. âIf youâll have me.â
âHave you?â He scoffs, like the idea is ridiculous. âYouâre on glitter containment. Thatâs a critical position.â
âIâll try not to let the power go to my head.â You laugh, shaking your head.
âNo promises,â Yoongi mutters under his breath as he stands, grabbing the last stack of chairs.
âNext Saturday. Same time. Donât let your fancy schedule scare you off.â Hobi points at you, still smiling.
âIt wonât,â you say.
Lights click off one by one. Doors get locked. The echo of the day lingers with faint laughter, distant footsteps, the ghost of music still humming somewhere down the hall.
You grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder as you step outside. The late afternoon air brushes against your skin, carrying away the last traces of paint and noise. Yoongi falls into step beside you like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
For a moment, neither of you says anything.
Your shoes crunch lightly against the pavement. A car passes somewhere in the distance. You roll your shoulders back without thinking, like youâre finally letting something go.
Yoongi notices.
He doesnât look at you right away. He just glances up at the sky, then back ahead.
âYou donât look like youâre in a hurry to get back,â he says.
âIâm not,â you admit.
You glance down at your hands. They're still faintly stained blue, a shimmer of glitter catching in the light. Thereâs no immediate instinct to wipe it off. No urgency to fix it.
âI didnât realize how much I needed this,â you add, quieter now.
Yoongi hums softly beside you.
âMost people donât,â he says. âNot until they actually stop for a second.â
You nod, more to yourself than to him.
âNext Saturday,â he says. âIf you show up again, theyâre going to expect you,â he adds, tone casual, but thereâs something just underneath it. âMinjun already decided youâre in charge of all moon-related infrastructure.â
âThat sounds like a lot of responsibility.â You laugh.
âIt is,â he says, deadpan. âHigh risk.â
âIâll take my chances.â You shake your head, smiling.
âGood,â he says.
As you reach your car, thatâs when you see it. A familiar figure leaning casually against a car a few spots over, arms crossed like heâs been waiting long enough to get comfortable.
Jimin.
He straightens the moment he spots you, a slow grin spreading across his face.
âWell,â he calls out, pushing off the car. âThere you are.â
âJimin?â You blink, caught off guard.
He walks toward you, unhurried, eyes flicking between you and Yoongi before settling back on you.
âDid the kids tire you out?â Jimin smiles. âOr can I take you on a picnic that I bullied Jin into making us?â
You should probably say no. You know Corybn is waiting for you to get home.
âOkay,â you say and Jiminâs grin widens instantly, like he knew you would.
âPerfect,â he says, turning slightly, already gesturing toward his car. âCome on.â
âDonât keep her out too late.â Yoongiâs voice cuts in, low and even.
You both look back at him. He hasnât moved much. He's still standing where he was but thereâs something in the way heâs watching now. Not tense, but not joking either.
Jimin arches a brow.
âWow,â he says slowly, glancing between the two of you. âDidnât realize I had a curfew to follow.â
âYou donât,â Yoongi replies easily. âShe does. Try not to get her in trouble.â
Jiminâs grin shifts, something more amused slipping in.
âRelax,â he says, lifting his hands slightly. âIâll bring her back in one piece.â
Yoongiâs gaze flicks to you for half a second.
Checking.
âGood.â Yoongi nods. âSee you next Saturday?â
âYeah.â You give him a small smile. âI'll see you next Saturday.â
You move toward your car, pulling the door open just enough to toss your bag inside before closing it again. Jimin is already waiting by his, leaning against the door now, watching you with that same easy expression.
âYou ready?â He asks.
âYeah.â You nod.
âAfter you.âHe opens the passenger side for you with an exaggerated flourish.
You roll your eyes, but thereâs a small smile tugging at your mouth as you slide into the seat. Before the door closes, you glance back once. Yoongi is still there.
Hands in his pockets.
Watching.
Not stopping you.
Just⊠there.
And somehowâŠthat makes it easier to go.
He pulls into a small, tucked-away spot. A stretch of grass near the edge of a lake. Where the water catches the sunlight. Thereâs no one else around. It's just the faint sound of wind moving through trees and the distant ripple of water against the shore. Jimin hops out first, already moving to the back of the car.
âAlright,â he says, clapping his hands once. âDonât judge me. I didnât make anything.â
âThatâs concerning already,â you call back, stepping out and walking around to meet him.
âIs Jin a good cook?â you ask as he pulls the literal picnic basket from his truck. Jimin freezes for half a second like youâve just said something offensive.
âIs Jin a..â he cuts himself off, shaking his head. âThatâs actually insane of you to ask.â
âThatâs not a yes." You smile.
âHeâs incredible,â Jimin says firmly, pulling out a blanket. âLike, unfairly good.â
You take the blanket and spread it out. He starts to unpack the food as you watch carefully .
âYouâre not overselling it?â You question.
âI would never,â he says.
âWhat is this?â You take a seat and pick up a container.
âSomething amazing,â he replies immediately.
âThatâs not helpful.â Your eyes still sweep around the containers.
âJust try it.â He sighs.
You hesitate for a second before you open the container and pick up a piece, taking a cautious bite.
âOh.â Then your brows lift slightly.
âRight?â Jimin leans forward instantly.
âOkay, yeah. Thatâs actually really good.â You nod slowly, still chewing.
âI told you,â he says, smug.
You glance back down at the food, a small smile tugging at your mouth.
âAlright,â you admit. âI trust Jin.â
âYou should,â Jimin says, settling back onto his hands for a second before reaching for a drink. âHe takes it personally if people donât.â
The two of you settle in. The blanket between you, the lake just beyond, the sky bright and warm. Jimin passes you a drink, nudging it lightly into your hand.
âHere,â he says. âYou look like youâve been running around all day.â
âI have,â you reply, taking it.
âYeah,â he hums, watching you for a second. âI can tell.â
The conversation drifts comfortably. About his dance studio. About how you always showed up to his showcases. About how you kept making him stand on pointe to get the perfect picture to draw while the sun hit just right.
âYou know you scared me, right?â He asks, suddenly.
âWhat?â You blink, caught off guard.
âThat day,â he says. âWhen you showed up at the studio,â he adds, glancing at you.
âI was terrified,â you admit. âI didnât even know if youâdâŠâ
Recognize me.
Want to see me.
You donât finish it. You donât have to.
âI didnât know it was you at first,â Jimin says. âI meanâŠI did,â he corrects quickly, sitting up a little straighter. âBut not right away. It took a second.â
He gestures vaguely, like heâs trying to piece the memory back together.
âYou looked⊠the same. But also not.â He blinks. âI didnât know what to do,â he says and you let out a quiet, surprised laugh.
âIâm serious,â he says, a small smile tugging at his mouth. âYou just walked in. No warning. Nothing. I honestly thought I was never going to see you again. NowâŠhere you are.â
Your chest tightens again. Suddenly all your secrets you've been keeping from Corbyn feel like they are catching up with you.
âI think I'm really scared,â you whisper.
âOf what?â He asks.
âMy fiancĂ© Corbyn,â you say. âHe doesn't know anything about what I've been doing. I've been lying to him and convincing myself it's okay. I'm scared that⊠I'm going to keep you all a secret for the rest of my life orâŠ. let you all go once I get married.â
âWhy does it have to be one or the other?â Jimin asks gently.
âI live in a world with Corbyn where there's no phones after a certain time. Where there's no clutter on the counters.â You take a breath. âWhereâŠthe new me definitely isn't covered in paint. He won't accept all of you and I can't keep going back home pretending you don't exist.â
The air has cooled a bit, but the blanket is warm beneath you. Jimin has gone quiet, his gaze fixed on the water as he digests your words about the no phone rules and the pristine counters. He looks back at you, and the playfulness from earlier is completely gone.
âThat sounds like a museum, Y/N,â Jimin says quietly. âNot a home.â He shifts, pulling one knee up to his chest, and looks at you directly. âI have to ask. You donât have to answer if you arenât ready, but⊠everything youâre describing sounds like a job. It sounds like youâre managing him, or heâs managing you.â
He hesitates, then the question drops into the space between you, heavy and unavoidable.
âDo you love him?â He asks.
The silence that follows is deafening.
You want to go to your automatic answer.
He's safe.
He's stable.
But here, with blue paint under your fingernails and the taste of a life you almost forgot on your tongue, the automatic response gets stuck in your throat. You look down at your hands, twisting a loose thread on the blanket. You think of the too cleaned counters. You think of the shared calendar. You think of the way he looked at his laptop screen today instead of looking at you.
âIâŠâ Your voice cracks, and you have to clear your throat. âI donât know.â
The admission feels like a physical weight leaving your chest, but itâs replaced by a sharp, cold fear.
âI thought I did,â you whisper, finally meeting Jiminâs eyes. âI thought love was⊠safety. I thought it was building a life that looked good on paper. My parents told me he was perfect.â
You take a shaky breath, your fingers curling into the fabric of the blanket.
âWhen Iâm with him, Iâm correct ⊠perfect, but when Iâm here with you⊠Iâm real. And I donât know if you can love someone who only wants the âCorrectâ version of you.â
Jimin doesn't look shocked. He doesn't judge you. He just reaches out, laying his hand over yours.
âYouâre allowed not to know,â he says softly. âBut âŠ. âI don't knowâ is a very dangerous place to be when there's wedding plans waiting for you at home.â
You look at the phone sitting face-down on the grass. It hasn't buzzed in a while. Maybe Corbyn gave up. Or maybe heâs just waiting for you to come back and apologize for the mess you've caused today.
âWhat am I supposed to do, Jimin?â You ask, your voice barely above a whisper. âHow am I supposed to go back into that house tonight and pretend I didnât just say that out loud?â
Jimin doesnât answer right away. He doesnât rush to fix it. Doesnât soften it into something easier to carry.
The lake moves quietly behind him, soft ripples catching the light, but everything here feels still in a different way now. Like the world is waiting to see what you do next.
âYou donât pretend,â he says finally. âYou canât,â he adds, shaking his head faintly. âNot after this. Not after you said it out loud.â
You nod. You know he's right.
âI donât mean you go home and blow everything up tonight,â Jimin continues, watching you carefully. âBut you also donât walk back in there and act like nothing changed.â
You swallow hard, your fingers tightening in the blanket.
âIt doesnât have to be a fight,â he says. âIt doesnât have to be some huge moment. ButâŠâ he hesitates, choosing his words more carefully now. âYou owe it to yourself not to disappear again.â
âI don't want to disappear again,â you whisper.
âWhen he asks what you did,â Jimin looks at you. âYou donât say ânothingâ or âjust helping out.â You donât shrink it into something that fits better. You tell the truth. You went somewhere. You stayed. You got messy. You liked it.â
Your throat feels tight because that sounds so simple.
And somehow⊠so terrifying.
âHe might not like it,â you whisper.
âYeah.â He nods. âYou canât build a life with someone who only knows half of you,â Jimin says, quieter now. âAnd you definitely canât marry them.â
You close your eyes and take in the slight breeze against your face.
âWhat if I lose everything again?â You ask and he shakes his head.
âYou won't lose everything,â he tells you. âWe're not going anywhere. â He turns back to the picnic basket and pulls something out, tossing it to you. You catch it automatically.
A hoodie.
Soft. Worn. Faintly stiff in places.
You frown slightly. Unfolding it, you take in the paint stains.
Old ones.
Faded blues, yellows, streaks of something that used to be red.
Your breath catches.
âThis isâŠâYou start.
âYou left it in my car,â Jimin shrugs. âFigured you might want it back.â
Your fingers tighten slightly in the fabric. You remember this.
You remember wearing it while sitting on floors, getting paint everywhere, not caring what you looked like. Before everything became so⊠put together.
âSo dramatic,â he adds lightly. âCouldnât just buy a new one?â
You let out a small laugh, but it doesnât quite land.
Because itâs not just a hoodie.
Itâs you.
A version of you.
A version of you Corbyn would never accept.
âThereâs more,â he says, nodding toward the front pocket.
You hesitate for half a second before reaching in and pulling out a folded piece of paper.
Worn at the edges.
You unfold it slowly.
A checklist with your handwriting.
Try pottery again â
(Jungkook signed up with me :))
Travel somewhere alone â
(Nevermind too scared. Yura will come with)
Learn how to cook more than three meals â
(yoongi helped) ⊠(he did most of it)
Stop saying yes when you mean no â
You stare at the list, your eyes moving slowly over each line.
Your thumb brushes over Yoongiâs name.
It shouldnât mean anything.
It doesnât mean anything.
Just cooking.
Your gaze lingers a second too long.
âYou didnât do any of that alone, you know,â he adds after a moment. Your fingers tighten slightly around the paper. âWe are not going to let you be alone now.â
Heâs right.
Jungkook. Yoongi. All of them.
Theyâre already here.
Theyâve been hereâŠalong.
The house is quiet when you walk in.The door clicks shut behind you, and the sound feels louder than it should. Your shoes pause against the hardwood for half a second before you step forward anyway. You donât make it far before you see him. Corbyn is in the living room this time, not the kitchen. Sleeves rolled neatly. His laptop is closed on the coffee table, but his phone is in his hand. He looks up the second you step into view.
His eyes take you in slowly. AYour hair is messy, wind-tangled. Your clothes are wrinkled, faintly stained with paint. Your hands are still carrying streaks of blue and the shimmer of stubborn glitter that never fully goes away.
Thereâs a flicker of something in his expression.
Not anger.
Something closer to⊠confusion.
âHey,â you say, a little softer than you meant to.
âHey,â he replies. âYouâreâŠ,â he gestures vaguely toward you, searching for the right word. âYouâre a mess.â
Itâs not cruel.
Itâs⊠factual.
You glance down at yourself, brushing lightly at your jeans like youâre just noticing it now.
âYeah,â you admit, a small breath of a laugh slipping out. âIt got a little chaotic.â
He studies you for a second longer before pushing himself up from the couch.
âYour momâs been calling,â he says, shifting the conversation like he always does. Toward something productive. Something manageable. âMost of the day, actually.â
âI figured,â you say.
âSheâs really focused on the seating chart,â he continues, walking a few steps closer. âSomething about the Petersons not wanting to sit near your aunt. I told her weâd handle it when you got back, but she wasâŠâ he exhales lightly. âPersistent.â
You can feel the moment where he expects you to pick that thread up.
Fix it.
Step back into place.
You donât.
âI can call her later,â you say instead and Corbyn pauses.
âLater?â He repeats.
âYeah.â You nod, more sure this time. âI was busy today.â
âWith the community center,â he says.
âYeah.â You nod again.
He looks at your hands again. The paint. The glitter.
âYou stayed quite late,â he observes.
âI did.â You agree.
âAnd you didnât answer your phone.â He comments.
âI saw the messages,â you say honestly. âI just⊠didnât leave.â
You watch as something unsettled wavers in his eyes. Something that doesnât quite line up with the version of you heâs used to.
âOkay,â he says slowly, like heâs trying to understand. âWhat were you doing that couldnât wait?â
âWe were building this huge cardboard tree,â you say, your voice quiet but steady. âOne of the kids decided it was a âmoon treeâ so⊠the branches didnât really make sense.â A small smile tugs at your mouth despite yourself. âThere was glue everywhereâŠ.and glitter. A lot of glitter.â
Corbyn watches you.
Really watches you.
âI helped with the art room most of the day,â you continue. âIt was loud. And messy. And nothing went the way it was supposed to andâŠâ you let out a small breath, shaking your head slightly. âIt was really fun.â
âIâm glad you had a good day,â he says after a second and you know he means it. âYour mom justâŠâ he gestures lightly, like heâs trying to bridge the gap. âThere are a lot of moving pieces right now. Itâs not really a great time to start adding new commitments.â
There it is again.
Not control.
Just logic.
âI know,â you say.
And you do.
Thatâs the problem.
âI justâŠâ you hesitate. You think about what Jimin said. About not pretending. Your heart starts pounding loud enough youâre sure he can hear it. âThereâs a lot to think about.â
âWhat do you mean?â Corbyn asks, eyes widening.
His voice is quieter now.
Careful.
You look at him ⊠really look at him. At the man who is steady. Reliable.
Safe.
The man your parents chose.
The man you chose, once.
âI meanâŠâ your voice wavers just slightly before you steady it. âToday wasnât just⊠something to pass the time. It felt important.â
He doesnât interrupt. He doesnât argue. He just watches you.
âAnd I think Iâve beenâŠâ you search for the right word, your brows pulling together slightly. âFitting into something for a long time without really asking if it is where I truly belong.â
Corbyn exhales slowly, his gaze dropping for a brief second before coming back to you.
âAre you saying you donât want this?â He asks.
âIâm saying I donât know,â you answer honestly.
For the first time, thereâs no neat resolution waiting to tie this conversation up. No schedule to file it into Just the two of you standing in a too-clean living room, with glitter still clinging to your hands.
âI'm going back next Saturday,â you tell him.
Corbyn doesnât flinch. He doesnât shout. He simply stands there before his eyes go to the blue paint on your skin and the stubborn light in your eyes.
"Next Saturday," he repeats, his voice flat. He looks toward the kitchen, toward the counters he wiped down twice, then back to you. "The florist is coming by at noon on Saturday, Y/N. We agreed on that weeks ago to see the final arrangements."
"I know," you say. "But I wonât be here. I'm going to the center."
Corbyn lets out a long, slow breath through his nose. He doesn't cross his arms. He just lets them hang at his sides, looking at you like you're a puzzle piece that has suddenly changed shape.
"I don't understand what's happening," he says quietly. "This isn't you. You don't like messes. You don't like being late. We have a life here, a plan. Everything is ready."
"Everything is ready for a version of me that slowly fading away," you say, your voice surprisingly calm. "Or maybe she just stopped holding her breath."
You reach into the pocket of your jeans and feel the crinkle of the checklist Jimin gave you. The rough fabric of the old, stained hoodie feels like a shield against the sterile perfection of the room. You think of Yoongi's steady hands on the cardboard tree. You think of Hobiâs laugh. You think of Jiminâs hand on yours by the lake.
Corbyn stares at you for a long moment. He looks like he wants to say something logical. To explain why the seating chart matters or why the florist can't be rescheduled, but the words seem to die before they reach his lips. He recognizes, perhaps for the first time, that he canât manage this.
"I'm going to go wash up," you say softly.
You walk past him. You don't wait for his approval, and you don't look back to see if he's following.
In the bathroom, you turn on the faucet. The water is warm, steam rising to fog the pristine mirror. You hold your hands under the stream, watching the paint swirl down the drain. You scrub, but the gold glitter is stubborn. It clings to your cuticles and the creases of your palms.
You look at your reflection. Your hair is a disaster. Your face is flushed. You look nothing like the bride in the magazines your mother sends you.
You look ...alive.
You reach into your pocket and pull out your phone. You don't check the missed calls from your mother. You don't check the calendar alerts for wedding rehearsals. Instead, you open your messages.
Operation: Find Her Brain Cells
You: I'm coming back next week.
You: And the week after that.
Hobi:Told you. The Moon Tree needs its architect.
Yoongi:Don't be late. Minjun is probably planning a moat.
You lean against the cool marble of the counter, a small, tired smile breaking across your face.The house is quiet, the counters are clean, and the shared calendar is still full of dates and deadlines.
But as you look at the lingering sparkles of gold on your damp skin, you realize that for the first time in years, you aren't afraid of the mess. You aren't holding your breath anymore.
Youâre just waiting for Saturday.
<Next>
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
Rain taps steadily against the windows. The wipers a rhythmic shh-shh as they try to keep up clearing the rain away. The engine idles beneath you, vibrating faintly through the seat. The air is warm causing the windows to fog, turning the outside world into nothing but hazy lights.
You shift slightly in your seat.
And heâs there.
Close.
Closer than he should be, maybeâŠbut it doesnât feel wrong. It feels⊠natural. Like this is a place youâve been before, even if you canât remember when.
You still canât see his face.
Every time you try, it slips away from you. His features blurring at the edges, like your mind refuses to let you focus. You catch pieces. The curve of his mouth. The shadow along his jaw. Dark hair falling just out of place.
But never enough.
Never clear.
Thereâs music playing.
Soft at first. Itâs just background noise beneath the rain, but it slowly pulls your attention. A melody you should know. Something familiar, something that tugs at you.
However, you canât make it out.
Not the words.
You can't even tell if it's a man or woman singing.Itâs like trying to hear something underwater. You frown slightly, tilting your head.
âWhat is this?â Your voice is quiet, almost swallowed by the small space.
He doesnât answer right away, but you can feel him turn to look at you.
Watching you.
A low chuckle escapes his throat. Deep. Warm. It rumbles through the space between you, settling somewhere in your chest.
âYou love this song.â The words are soft, edged with amusement.
You blink, glancing back toward the radio, like maybe if you look at it hard enough itâll make sense.
âI do?â You question making him chuckle again.
âYeah,â he murmurs. âYou always turn it up. Every time it comes on.â
Thereâs something in the way he says it. Like itâs a memory heâs lived more than once.
Like heâs watched you do it.
Your hand moves instinctively toward the console, fingers brushing over something you canât quite see. The shape is there, but the buttons blur under your touch.
âI canât even hear it,â you admit softly.
The song continues, distant and muffled. No matter how hard you try to focus, you just can't hear it.
You want to recognize it.
You feel like you should.
âYou can,â he says quietly.
Your hand stops trying to touch the buttons that you just can't grab. You turn your head slightly toward him again, frustration flickering low in your chest.
âNo, IâŠâ Your words falter because heâs closer now.
You didnât see him move. Didnât feel the shift, but the space between you has changed. The car seems to have narrowed, drawing the two of you closer together.
âYouâre just not listening.â His voice is softer this time.
Lower.
Not teasing anymore.
Your breath catches not dramatically, but enough that you feel it.
âI am listening,â you whisper.
âNot to the song,â he says.
He reaches for you then. His movements are slow and deliberate as his hand finds yours where it hovers near the console. His fingers curl loosely around yours.
The music plays on.
Still blurred.
Still unreachable.
But nowâŠ..it almost feels like itâs behind him. Like heâs the thing youâre supposed to be paying attention to.
âYou hum it,â he adds, quieter now. âWithout realizing.â
âI donât.â You shake your head denying his words.
âYou do,â he says simply.
His thumb brushes lightly against your hand.
Once.
Twice.
Something in your dream shifts again.
The rain sounds louder.
The windows fog over more.
The world outside disappears completely until thereâs nothing left but you and him inside of the car.
âYou donât even notice youâre doing it,â he continues, voice barely above the rain now. âBut I do.â
Your heart starts to beat a little faster. It's not from panic, not from fear, but from something you canât quite name.
âWhy?â You ask, softer now. âWhy do you notice?â
The question feels bigger than it should. It feels like it means more than just the song.
âBecause I notice everything about you.â You swear you can feel his breath brush against your cheek as he answers.
You donât realize youâve leaned toward him until your shoulder nearly brushes his.
The song keeps playing. Still out of reach. Still just a muffled underwater noise.
But everything elseâŠ.
Feels too clear.
Your hand tightens slightly in his without thinking. He moves, closing the last bit of space between you like he already knows you wonât pull away.
You donât.
Your breath catches instead, your other hand lifting without thought, finding his jacket and curling your finger into the material. His lips meet yours in that warm, foggy car as the rain taps against the windows.
Not rushed. Not hesitant.
You've both done this before.
The music fades even further or maybe you just stop hearing it. All you can focus on is him now. On the way he exhales softly against your lips before pulling back just enough that youâre still close.
âStill donât hear it?â He murmurs.
Your forehead brushes his.
Your heart is pounding now.
âIâŠâ You try to say something, but the answer wonât come.
Because you donât know if youâre talking about the song anymore. His fingers lift, brushing lightly along your jaw like heâs waiting. Like heâs giving you time to understand something youâre not quite reaching yet.
The rain stutters.
The sound warps.
The moment starts to slip.
âYou will,â he promises, before leaning back in once more.
âY/N, Sweetheart!â Corbyn's voice calls from the kitchen below.
Your eyes snap open, pulling you from your dream.
For a second, you donât move. Your body is still halfway there. It's still in the car, still wrapped in warmth, still chasing the echo of something just out of reach. Your lips part slightly like you forgot how to breathe normally, your chest rising too fast, too shallow.
The rain is gone.
The music is gone.
Heâs gone.
You stare up at the ceiling, blinking slowly as reality settles back into place piece by piece. The quietness of the house. The faint light creeping through the curtains. The absence of⊠everything that felt so real just seconds ago.
Your fingers twitch slightly against the sheets.
Your heart is still racing.
âY/N?â Corbyn calls again, closer this time. âAre you up?â
You swallow, dragging a hand over your face, trying to take a deep breath. Trying to shake off the feeling that something important just slipped through your fingers.
âYeah!â You call back, your voice just a little hoarse. âIâm up.â
âCan you come down here for a second?â His voice drifts from downstairs.
You sit up slowly. Your head feels⊠strange. Not dizzy. Just full. Like your thoughts havenât caught up to your body yet. Your lips press together. You donât let yourself think about the dream too hard.
Instead, you swing your legs over the side of the bed and stand, preparing yourself for whatever it is that Corbyn needs this early. You shake your head lightly, like you can physically push it away, and step out into the hallway.
As you move downstairs, you shake your arms out and roll your head on your shoulders. You need to desperately shake off that dream. Shake off that man who now has appeared twice behind your closed eye lids. The kitchen comes into view as you round the corner and for a second you forget how to breathe. Right in the center of your perfectly clean kitchen. Where nothing is out of place. Where there is not one piece of clutter on the counter.
Something doesnât belong.
A small square of color against all that white and neutral is the photo.
Your photo.
The empty fire extinguisher case in the middle of all this boring order. The one you chose not to hide. Instead, you decided to display it right by the coffee maker like a little act of rebellion where it's impossible to ignore.
Corbyn is standing at the counter, a mug in his hand. However, heâs not drinking from it.
Heâs too busy staring at your Polaroid.
Your steps slow into something more cautious. He glances up briefly, then back down at the counter at the picture again before finally turning toward you fully.
âGood morning,â he says.
âMorning,â you answer softly.
Your eyes flick to the photo and then away again like you might look guilty if stare at it too long.
âI didnât know you were into photography,â he says.
âIâm not,â you say.
It's not a complete lie. It's just not the whole truth. The current you might not be into photography, but it seems like the past you loved it.
âWhereâd this come from?â His gaze shifts back to the picture.
You take a small step further into the kitchen, keeping your movements easy. Natural.
âI took it,â you say. âWith Leah,â you add, like itâs nothing. âShe had one of those Polaroid cameras with her.â
Corbyn nods slightly. He reaches out, picking the photo up carefully between his fingers.
âItâs interesting,â he says as he studies it.
âInteresting?â You repeat.
âItâs not what most people would choose to take a picture of.â He tilts the photo a little, like heâs checking the light.
âI know,â you say quietly. âI liked it.â
âWhy?â he asks, glancing at you.
âIt just stood out.â You shrug.
Thatâs all you give him.
Nothing deeper.
Nothing he can pull apart.
He watches you for a second longer before he nods once and accepts it. Not fully understanding, but not pushing either. He sets the photo back down. Right where it was. Right in the middle of everything. In fact, you think he even straightens it to make sure it right smack dab in the middle in the middle of the tile on the backsplash.
âWell,â he says, turning slightly back toward the counter. âIt definitely adds color.â
The comment stays with you for a second longer than it should.
It definitely adds color.
You nod slightly, like thatâs enough. Like that settles it. Corbyn shifts his attention back to the counter, reaching for his mug again like this is just another morning. Like nothing has changed. He takes a sip, already moving on, already slipping back into the rhythm of his day.
âIâve got to get going,â he says, almost absentmindedly. âThen I need to review a few things for a meeting later.â
He moves around the kitchen with quiet efficiency. He's opening cabinets, setting things back exactly where they belong, wiping a spot on the counter that doesnât need wiping.
Your eyes flick to the photo again.
Still there.
Still doesn't belong there.
Still right.
âI was thinking,â he continues, grabbing his phone and glancing at it briefly. âWe could go over the updated options for the wedding tonight.â
âYeah. Okay.â You nod automatically.
Your voice comes out easy.
Too easy.
Like youâre stepping back into something well-practiced. He hums in acknowledgment, already half-focused on whatever is on his screen now. His thumb scrolls. His eyes scan his screen. Heâs here, but not fully.
And for a secondâŠyou just watch him.
This version of your life. The one that makes sense. The one that fits because you were told it fits.
âDo you know my favorite song?â You ask suddenly.
The question slips out causing Corbyn to pause. His eyes lift from his phone, brows pulling together slightly. He's not confused, just⊠caught off guard.
âYour favorite song?â He repeats with a little shocked laugh. âUhâŠâ He tilts his head slightly, thinking. âI meanâŠyou donât really listen to music like that.â
You deflate a little bit and don't know why. You expected this answer from him.
âYou usually just have something on in the background,â he continues, setting his phone down. âNothing specific.â He glances at you again, like heâs checking his answer. âWhy?â he asks lightly.
âNo, I justâŠâ You stop yourself. âI was just curious. For the wedding you know. I couldn't figure out what my favorite song was.â
âAlright,â he says. âWell, if you figure it out, let me know. Iâll add it to whatever playlist you want.â
Thereâs a faint smile there.
Small.
Genuine.
He picks his phone back up and just like that heâs already moved on.
Back to emails.
Back to schedules.
You stand there for a second longer and your gaze drifts to the photo. To that square sitting in the middle of everything and somewhere in the back of your mind. You hear it again.
Faint.
Distant.
A melody you still canât quite reach.
And you swearâŠ..
âŠ. it's real.
You sit at your desk, staring at your screen.
An email sits open on your computer and youâve read the same sentence at least four times. However, none of it is sticking. Your fingers hover over the keyboard, unmoving.
Your mind just isnât here. Itâs somewhere else.
Itâs on the rain hitting the foggy car windows.
A voice you canât place, but canât forget.
A song you supposedly love, but you can't hear.
Your jaw tightens slightly as you blink, trying to refocus.
âOkay,â Leahâs voice cuts in from beside you, low but pointed. âYou are looking really intense over there. Whatâs wrong?â
âNothing,â you say automatically and Leah doesnât buy it.
âYeah, no,â she says, as she swivels her chair slightly, fully turning toward you now with one brow raised. âThat was a âsomething is very wrong but I donât want to talk about itâ nothing.â
âI need to show you something,â you say quietly.
âOkayâŠ?â She says slowly, watching you curiously.
âBreak room.â You stand before you can second-guess it and she doesnât argue. She just gets up and follows you.
The walk feels longer than it should. Your heartbeat picks up when you think about what you're going to show her. If she thinks youâre going to sound crazy. By the time you reach the break room, itâs empty. You close the door behind you. Leah leans lightly against the counter, arms crossing loosely.
âAlright,â she says. âYouâre starting to worry me a little.â
You donât respond right away. Instead, you reach into your sweater pocket with a deep breath and pull out the photo.
Not the one from the kitchen.
The other one.
The one you didnât show Corbyn.
The one you couldnât.
You hold it for a second before you hand it to her. Leah takes it, her brows knitting slightly as she looks down.
âOh,â she murmurs.
Itâs quiet.
Not dramatic.
Her eyes scan the image of you, standing barefoot at the edge of the pier, the sky bleeding gold, purples and pink in the horizon. Wind caught in your hair. Shoulders relaxed. Completely unaware.
âWaitâŠâ she says, looking up at you. âThis is you.â
âI saw this,â you cut in softly.
âWhat?â She asks, confused.
âIn a dream,â you say.
The words feel strange out loud.
Too ... absurd.
âWhat do you mean you saw this?â She asks, carefully and you step closer, lowering your voice instinctively even though no one else is there.
âThis exact moment,â you say, pointing lightly to the photo in her hands. âThe way Iâm standing. The wind. The sunset. Everything. I saw it before I ever saw the picture.â
Leah blinks.
Once.
Twice.
âThatâsâŠâ she starts, then stops. âThatâs not possible.â
âI know,â you say quickly. âI know, but I did.â
Leah doesnât respond right away. Her eyes drop back down to the photo, scanning it again. Slower this time. More carefully. Like if she looks hard enough, sheâll find something that explains it.
âYouâre serious,â she says finally.
Not a question.
You nod.
âI thought it was just a dream at first,â you continue, your voice quieter, steadier than you feel. âBut it felt âŠ. so real. When I woke up I ⊠I swear I could still feel like I was there.â
âAnd then?â She asks.
âAnd then I saw this.â You exhale slowly and Leah looks up at you again, studying your face.
Leah lets out a quiet breath, shifting her weight as she leans back against the counter a little more.
âOkay,â she says slowly as she examines it closely. âOkay, wait. This is the lake by Shoreline Trail I think. Iâve been there a couple times. The pier looks the same.â
She lowers the photo again, her brows pulling together as she thinks.
âAnd youâre saying you saw this exact⊠scene. Before you ever had this?â
âYes.â You nod.
âDo you think it's dĂ©jĂ vu?â She offers, though it sounds more like sheâs testing the word than believing it.
âNo. Itâs not that.â You shake your head immediately.
Déjà vu is fleeting.
This wasnât.
âThis felt likeâŠâ You stop, searching for the right word. âI lived that moment. When I saw this pictureâŠ. there's no doubt about it.â
âOkay,â she says as she watches you carefully. âThen we donât ignore it. Youâre not crazy,â she adds, quieter now. âEven if this is⊠weird.â
A small breath leaves you.
âYeah,â you murmur. âIt is.â
Leah looks back down at the photo one more time, then carefully hands it back to you.
âYou kept this hidden?â she asks.
âYeah.â You nod, taking it from her.
âWhy?â She questions.
Your fingers curl slightly around the edges of it. You wanted to say it felt too important but you don't.
âI donât know,â you say instead. âIt just didnât feel like something I should leave out.â
Leah hums softly, like she understands more than you said.
âOkay,â she says after a moment. âThen we start simple.â
âHow?â You glance at her.
âWe go back there.â She gestures lightly toward the photo. âAfter work. Same spot.â
âWhy?â You ask, as your grip on the photo tightens .
âWhy not?â She asks back.
You glance down at the photo one more time before you look back at her.
âOkay,â you say. âOkay, let's go.â
The pier creaks softly under your weight as you step onto it. Leah stays a few feet behind you this time. She doesnât say anything. Doesnât interrupt. Because even she can feel it now. That strange, quiet shift around you. Like this place means something, even if she doesnât understand why.
You move slowly.
Instinctively.
Like your body already knows where to go.
One step.
Then another.
The wood beneath your feet feels familiar in a way that doesnât make sense. The lake stretches out in front of you, calm, endless. While the sky is still bright and blue, the breeze blows some loose hair around your face.
You stop.
Right there in the exact spot. You donât need the photo to know. You remember it perfectly from your dream.
âThis is it?â She asks softly.
You donât answer right away. Your gaze is locked on the horizon. The wind picks up slightly, brushing your hair back from your face
AndâŠ..
It hits.
Not a full memory.
Not even a full image.
The world around you flickers just for a second. It's almost like something is overlapping.
âWhen you get like this⊠I never know if I should say something or just let you be.â A distant voice says. The voice isnât clear. Itâs like hearing something through water again. You donât realize it, but your body reacts before your mind does and you turn.
Quick.
Like someone is standing there .But of course thereâs no one. Just Leah watching you now, her expression shifting from curiosity to concern.
âHey,â she says, stepping forward. âWhat is it?â
You blink rapidly as the world fully snaps back into place.
The lake.
The sky.
The wind.
No voice.
Nothing.
âIâŠâ You swallow. âNothing. I justâŠâ
You hesitate because you canât explain that. Not without it sounding wrong. Not without admitting that you now have dreamt of another man twice.
âI thought I heard something,â you settle on.
âThereâs no one out here,â she says, frowning slightly, glancing around like she might find someone nearby.
âI know.â You nod and your hand lifts slightly, pressing against your chest like you can calm your heartbeat manually.
âOkay, thatâs officially creepy,â she mutters lightly, trying to cut the tension, but her eyes are still searching your face. âYouâre sure youâre okay?â
You nod.
âYeah,â you say as your phone goes off.
Pulling it out of your pocket, you smile softly.
Operation: Find Her Brain Cells
Namjoon: Thereâs a bookstore I think youâd like.
Namjoon: I was planning on going anyway, but youâre welcome to come with me.
Hobi: How very you.
Taehyung: a bookstore
Jungkook: You picked the quietest activity possible
Taehyung: are we allowed on this a silent field trip
Yoongi: youâre not invited
Jimin: we all agreed not to invade each other's time with her.
Taehyung: we could behave
Yura: no you canât
Jin: Let him have his day
Namjoon: Anyway, no pressure.
Namjoon:Just thought you might enjoy it.
âWho is it?â Leah asks.
âNamjoon wants to go to a bookstore,â you tell her.
You: Send me the address and I'll be there.
You pocket your phone and look at Leah before looking back out at the stretch of lake. This place was important. You don't know why, but it was.
The drive to the bookstore is a stark contrast from the dusty roads to the warehouse with Taehyung. âYou pull up to a quiet street lined with oak trees. The shop, The Inkwell, is tucked between a bakery and a closed florist. It doesnât have a flashy neon sign. Just a hand-painted wooden board and windows packed so tightly with books that you can barely see the warm glow of the interior.
âNamjoon is leaning against a brick pillar near the entrance. He isnât on his phone. Heâs just... looking. Observing his surroundings looking completely unbothered. When he sees your car, he doesn't wave frantically. He just offers a friendly smile that makes you feel instantly welcomed.
â"You found it," he says as you step onto the sidewalk.
â"GPS is my best friend lately," you admit, smoothing your hair.
â"Sometimes the best places are the ones that don't want to be found," he murmurs, reaching for the heavy brass handle of the door.
A bell chimes as he ushers you inside.
The warmth hits you first.
Not just temperature, but something softer. The air smells faintly of paper and something sweet. Inviting leather seating was scattered around matching the dark book cases. Old lamps sat in the middle of tables where books were laid for sale. Pages turning somewhere in the back. The faint hum of a speaker playing something instrumental. The soft creak of wood under shifting weight.
You donât realize youâve slowed down until Namjoon is already a few steps ahead of you. He glances back as he watches you take in the bookshop. He doesnât rush you.
He just⊠waits.
âYou always did this,â he says, almost to himself.
âDid what?â You blink.
âPaused at the entrance,â he explains, gesturing vaguely around the shop. âLike you needed a second to⊠take inventory. I always wondered what you were looking for.â
âI don't know,â you say softly. âI guess ⊠I'm just taking it all in.â
Your gaze drifts across the shelves as you slowly start to move between the stacks, your fingers brushing lightly along the spines. Some titles mean nothing. Some feel like they should mean something.
You pause.
One book catches your eye. You donât know why.
You just⊠reach for it.
Your fingers curl around the spine before your brain can catch up, pulling it free from the shelf. You stare down at the cover like it might explain itself. It was an illustrated cover of a man and woman watching a sunset. You take a deep breath as your fingers nervously tap the spine of the book.
âYou always went for that section first.â Namjoon smiles.
âI did?â You glance over your shoulder at him and he nods once, stepping closer, but not too close.
âFiction,â he says and you glance back at the book in your hands.
âIt doesnât feel familiar,â you admit. âI usually read memoirs.â
âThat doesnât mean it isnât familiar,â he replies simply.
You donât argue. Instead, you open the book.
Flip once.
Twice.
Before you know it, your fingers press into the pages at the end of the book.
âWhat am I doing?â You mutter under your breath.
Thereâs a quiet exhale behind you of soft laughter.
âYou always read the ending first,â Namjoon tells you.
âWhat?â Slowly, you turn your head.
âYeah,â he nods, like itâs obvious. âDrove me insane.â
âWhy would I do that?â You ask and he tilts his head slightly.
â"You always wanted to know the ending," he says. "You said you didn't like the anxiety of the 'unknown.' You wanted to make sure the characters were okay before you let yourself care about them."
âHe takes a small step closer, but he keeps a respectful distance, his hands sliding into the pockets of his cardigan.
â"I think..." he starts, then pauses, choosing his words with care. "I think thatâs why youâre so frustrated right now. Youâre in the middle of a story where the pages are blank, and you canât skip to the back to see if it turns out alright."
âYou look down at the book in your hands, your thumb tracing the edge of the paper.
"It feels like everyone is waiting for me to catch up," you admit, your voice barely a whisper. "Like thereâs this version of me everyone misses, and Iâm just... an imposter standing in her place."
âNamjoon exhales softly. Itâs a sound of understanding, not pity.
â"Y/N, look at me," he says.
âYou lift your gaze. His glasses have slipped a little further down his nose, and his eyes are warm, honest.
â"None of us, Hobi, Jin, any of us âŠ. are trying to 'fix' you," he says firmly. "And we aren't trying to force memories out of you like some kind of interrogation. We don't want to pull you back into a past that hurts, or pressure you to be someone you aren't ready to be again."
âHe reaches out, his hand hovering for a second before he gently taps the spine of the book you're holding.
â"The last thing we ever want to do is hurt you by making you feel like you're failing a test," he continues. "If the memories come back, they come back. If they don't... then we just get to know this version of you. Weâre okay with either one. I hope you know that.â
Namjoonâs words hang in the air, softening the anxiety youâve been carrying since you woke up from that rain-slicked dream. He doesn't look at you like a puzzle to be solved. He looks at you like a story he already knows but is happy to read again.
â"Itâs a lot of pressure," you admit, your voice barely rising above the instrumental music. "To be the person everyone misses. Even if you say youâre okay with this version... I still feel like Iâm constantly looking for a ghost."
âNamjoon hums. He moves a step closer, leaning his shoulder against the dark wood of the shelf.
â"Looking for a ghost is exhausting," he agrees quietly. "Maybe stop looking for her. Let her find you if she wants to. In the meantime..." He gestures to the rows upon rows of stories surrounding you. "There are plenty of other people to get to know. Including yourself."
âHe reaches out, not to take the book, but to point to a different shelf further down, one bathed in the golden light of a floor lamp.
â"You also liked the essays," he says, his voice regaining that light, teasing quality. "Specifically the ones about art history. You used to argue that the process of a painting was more important than the final canvas. You said the mistakes made the art real."
"That sounds like something sheâd say." You smile.
â"You're her too," Namjoon says firmly.
âHe starts to lead you deeper into the stacks, his pace slow and wandering. There is no rush here. No meetings to attend, no wedding playlists to finalize, no color that needs to be added to a sterile white kitchen.
âAs you follow him, the scent of old paper wraps around you making you feel safe. Maybe even safe enough to ask Namjoon a question your fiancĂ© couldn't even answer.
â"Namjoon?" You ask, stopping near a display of leather-bound journals.
"Yeah?" âHe stops and turns, his expression open.
â"In a dream... or maybe it was a memory... there was a song," you say, testing the waters. You don't mention the man. "I could hear a song. A song I supposedly love, but I can't hear the lyrics. Itâs like itâs underwater."
âNamjoonâs expression softens, a flicker of something crossing his features before he masks it with a gentle smile.
â"Music is funny like that," he says softly. "Sometimes the brain holds onto the feeling of a song long after it forgets the melody. Don't strain yourself trying to hear it, Y/N. If it was a song you loved, itâll find its way back to the surface when the water clears."
âHe pauses, his gaze drifting to your hand, which is still resting on the spine of the fiction book.
â"If you're asking specifically what song you loved. I'm not sure. You loved a lot of songs. Do you want to keep that one?" he asks. "Even if you already know how it ends?"
âYou look at the book. You think about the pier, the wind, and the way the overlap felt like a secret world pressing against the glass of your current life. You think about Corbyn's polite, confused smile when you asked about your favorite song.
â"Yeah," you say, your grip tightening slightly on the cover. "I think I want to see how the characters get there. Even if I know where they land."
"Good choice. The middle is usually the best part anyway." âNamjoon nods, his dimples appearing again.
âLet's have a seat,â he says, guiding you to a bench outside of the store. He opens his messenger bag and reaches in, pulling out a worn book. "You used to carry this everywhere,â he says. âI mean everywhere. Coffee shops, the dance studio, even one time you and I went to the museum and you got in trouble for almost setting it down too close to a sculpture.â
Thereâs a quiet warmth in his voice, like the memory is still alive for him. You take the book carefully. The pages fall open easily in your hands, as if they already know where to go.
And then you see it.
Your handwriting.
Messy in some places, rushed in others, looping and soft where you must have been calm. Notes spill into the margins, climb up the sides of poems, squeeze between printed lines.
You blink.
âWhy did I write all of these?â You question.
âYou said poetry wasnât meant to be read quietly. You said it was a conversation. So you answered back.â Namjoon leans back against the bench.
âI was probably trying to sound smart.â A small laugh escapes you, surprised.
âYou are smart,â he says gently.
You turn a few pages. A line is underlined three times, with a note beside it.
ânever go back to being this unhappy again.â
Your brows knit and turn another page.
âread this again when you forget how to feel things properly.â
And then another, the ink slightly smudged like your hand dragged across it too quickly.
âhappiness doesnât have to be loud to be real.â
You keep flipping. Then you stop. Thereâs a page where the poem itself is barely marked, but the margin is filled. Not rushed this time. Slower. Intentional.
Your thumb brushes over the ink.
âhe would probably say this poem is almost right, which is his version of praise.â
The words feel different from the others. You donât realize youâve stopped moving until Namjoon shifts slightly beside you.
âWhat is it?â He asks gently.
You donât answer right away. Your eyes stay locked on the page, tracing over your own handwriting like it might rearrange itself into something clearer if you stare long enough.
âI wrote about someone,â you say finally.
It comes out quieter than you expected. Namjoon doesnât interrupt. He doesnât lean in to look. He just⊠waits.
âHeâŠâ You hesitate, your throat tightening slightly. âI didnât write his name.â
That feels important.
Or maybe⊠intentional.
Your fingers press lightly into the paper.
âBut I knew how he talked,â you continue. âHow heâd respond to something. Like I could hear him when I wrote this.â
âThat makes sense,â he says and you glance at him then, something uncertain flickering across your face.
âIt does?â You ask as he nods once, thoughtful.
âYou always wrote like that,â he explains. âYou paid attention to reactions. To tone. To the space between words. If someone mattered to youâŠâ he adds. âThey showed up in the margins. If you knew what to look for, you would probably find us all there.â
A comfortable, heavy silence settles between you, filled only by the distant rustle of leaves and the low, melodic chime from the bookstore door as another customer enters. You look down at the page once more, the ink of your own handwriting feeling like a map youâre only just learning how to read.
Namjoon doesnât push you to say more. He doesnât demand you to try and remember. He simply sits there, a steady, calming presence in the afternoon air, letting you sit with the weight of your own past.
âI think Iâve done enough reading for one day,â you murmur, finally closing the book. The leather cover feels cool against your palms.
âThe best stories usually require a few intermissions anyway.â Namjoon smiles, his dimples cutting deep into his cheeks.
He stands up, smoothing out his cardigan and adjusting his glasses. He doesn't take the book back. Instead, he gestures for you to keep it.
âTake it home,â he says softly. âItâs yours, after all. Maybe itâll tell you something else when the house is quiet.â
You stand with him, clutching the worn book to your chest. The anxiety that had been buzzing under your skin since you woke up hasn't disappeared, but itâs changed. Itâs no longer a frantic, drowning feeling. Itâs a quiet curiosity. It's a burning need to see the middle of the story, even if the ending is already written in a language youâre still trying to translate.
âThank you, Namjoon,â you say.
âAnytime, Y/N,â he replies, his voice warm. âIâll see you around and don't worry about the ending. Youâve always been good at the plot twists.â
With a final, encouraging nod, he turns to head back toward the entrance of The Inkwell. You watch him for a moment before turning toward your car, the book a solid weight in your hand and the messy, looped notes in the margins echoing in your mind like a promise.
The house is exactly how you left it.
Clean.
Ordered.
Untouched.
You slip your shoes off by the door, your movements automatic as you step inside.For a moment, you just stand there listening to the quiet.
A small breath leaves you before you even realize you were holding it. You move quietly down the hallway, the book tucked safely in your bag against your side.Your fingers tighten around the straps slightly as you step into the living room.
Everything is in its place.
Your gaze flicks briefly toward the kitchen. The pop of red from the fire extinguisher case is still visible from here.
Still out of place.
Still yours.
As you turn away and back to the living room.Your eyes land on the bookshelf that sits on the far wall.
Neat.
Curated.
Rows of neutral-toned spines, arranged more by appearance than use.
You hesitate for a moment before walking slowly to stand in front of it. Taking your worn poetry book out of your bag, you clutch it in your hands nervously. Licking your lips, you take a deep breath and slide the poetry book into place.
Not hidden.
But not obvious either.
It settles between two untouched hardcovers like itâs always belonged there. Like itâs been waiting for you to find it again. Your fingers linger on the spine a second longer than necessary before you pull your hand back.
Done.
You smile.
You donât even realize how much time has passed until you hear the front door open.
Keys jingle as they hit the bowl.
Shoes thud softly on the floor.
The soft soft sound of routine.
âIâm home,â Corbyn calls.
âIn here,â you answer.
Your voice sounds normal.
It feels normal.
He appears in the living room a moment later, loosening his tie slightly as he steps in. His eyes find you immediately taking you in before the drop to the book in your hands and he pauses.
âAre you reading fiction?â He asks, sounding surprised.
âOh,â you say lightly. âYeah. I picked it up today.â
He steps further into the room, setting his phone down with quiet precision before leaning slightly against the back of the couch.
âThatâs new,â he says.
âYeah.â You nod faintly as your thumb brushes along the edge of the page. âI guess I just wanted something different.â
Corbyn watches you for a moment too long, his gaze drifting from the fiction book in your hand to the shelf where your old poetry book now sits among his perfect collection. He doesn't notice it yet, but the mere presence of it feels like a ticking clock.
â"Different is good," he says finally, though his tone suggests heâs trying to convince himself more than you. "Just don't get too lost in it. We still have those caterers to call back."
âHe offers a thin, practiced smile and heads toward the kitchen, his footsteps heavy on the hardwood. You stay on the couch, the weight of Namjoonâs words and the mystery of the man in the rain swirling in your chest. You look down at the fiction book, flipping to the final page one last time.
âThe characters find their way home. They get their happy ending. âYou wonder, as the house settles into its evening silence, if you are looking for a way home, or if you are finally realizing that home was never where you were told it was.
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
The house has been different.
Itâs been a week since the argument.
A week after the wedding venue. The word flat is still hanging in the air like something you werenât supposed to say out loud. A week since Corbyn stood on the deck, talking about timelines like they mattered more than how anything should actually feel on your wedding day.
Things havenât been bad since then.
Just⊠careful.
Polite.
Like both of you stepped back into your assigned roles without talking about it.
You stand in front of your closet now, fingers brushing past dresses that still have tags tucked into the seams. Soft fabrics are all dry cleaned and wrinkled free. Neutral colors. Everything chosen with a purpose you donât remember having.
Your phone buzzes on the dresser.
You glance at it, expecting something routine. Maybe your mother. Maybe a wedding update you donât have the energy to deal with yet.
Instead you see the group chat. More specifically, you only see Taehyung's name.
Your thumb hovers before you open it.
Taehyung: Donât ask questions. Just come.
Taehyung: Wear something you donât mind ruining.
Taehyung: [address]
You stare at the message before tapping the address. It pulls up instantly and you grimace. It's an hour and a half away. Your brows knit slightly.
âThatâs⊠not close,â you murmur to yourself.
You should ask where it is.
Why he wants you there.
You should probably ask anything. Instead, your mind does something else entirely.
It flashes.
It flashes to chalk dust in the air. To Jungkook yelling from below⊠supporting you. Your hand reaching for something that you thought you couldn't reach. To that moment where you didnât think. You just moved.
Your grip tightens slightly around your phone. This isnât like the wedding. No plan. No approval. No explanation.
You want to go.
You exhale slowly.
âOkay,â you whisper, more to yourself than anyone else.
Your fingers move before you can second-guess it.
You: Fine but if I end up in the middle of nowhere, Iâm blaming you.
The reply comes almost instantly.
Taehyung: You will.
Taehyung: And youâll still have fun.
A small smile pulls at your mouth before you can stop it. Grabbing your clothes from your dresser. You dress quickly before you grab your keys and pause just for a second. Your gaze flicks toward the hallway. Corbynâs office door is closed. You can hear the faint murmur of his voice through it. Already working on a Saturday morning. Already in that world of structure and precision.
If you tell him you're leaving, heâll ask questions.
Reasonable ones.
Where are you going?
With who?
For how long?
Questions that make this feel⊠smaller.
Questions that you will have to lie about.
Your hand tightens around your keys. You donât knock on his door. You donât explain.
You just⊠leave.
The drive stretches longer than you expected. The city fades into the outskirts. The outskirts fade into something a bit more desolate. The roads narrow. The buildings get older. Less polished.
You roll your window down halfway. The air is different out here.
It moves through your hair, across your skin, carrying the faint scent of something earthy. You check the GPS again and you see that you were fifteen minutes away. Your stomach does a small, uncertain flip.
Not fear.
Not exactly.
Youâre going to an address an hour and a half away⊠because someone told you to.
No context.
No plan.
No guarantee.
You should hesitate more. You know you should. You know your past self knows Taehyung, but your current self doesn't. You're essentially meeting a strange man in a strange location by yourself.
However, you keep driving. Somewhere between the bracelet, the bakery, the climb, and the way your chest felt lighter for the first time in monthsâŠ
You trust this.
You trust him.
And maybeâŠ.
You trust yourself a little more than you used to.
The GPS voice cuts through your thoughts.
âTurn right.â
You follow it.
The road shifts again. You turn onto cracked pavement where buildings stand looking abandoned. You frown when your GPS tells you have arrived. You look ahead. You see a large, worn structure with broken windows. Walls layered with graffiti, colors bleeding into each other.
You stop before you sit there for a second, engine idling.
âYouâve got to be kidding me,â you murmur, staring at it.
You kill the engine. For a brief moment, doubt creeps in.
This is far.
This doesn't really look the safest.
This is not something the version of you from a few weeks ago would have done. Your fingers tighten slightly against the steering wheel. You think about turning around. About going back. About stepping back into something predictable.
Safe.
Flat.
âNo,â you whisper. âNo, you can do this.â
You grab your keys and open the door.
You step out and shut the car door behind you, the sound echoing into the emptiness around you. Your eyes scan the building again. You take in the chipped paint, the broken edges, the sunlight cutting through shattered glass.
It shouldnât feel inviting.
But it does.
You continue forward letting your eyes sweep side to side of the unknown area. Just as you reach the entrance, a voice drifts from inside.
Casual.
Like heâs been waiting.
âThought you might chicken out.â
Your lips twitch despite yourself. You shake your head lightly as you step inside.
âNot a chance,â you say, trying to sound confident.
Dust particles dance in the light cutting through the high, broken windows of the warehouse. It smells like stagnant water, paint and flying dust.
Taehyung is leaning against a rusted support beam, he's framed by a background of messy graffiti. He doesn't look like he belongs in a world of schedules. He looks like he belongs exactly where he is.
He holds up two objects, one in each hand. In his left, a camera. A sleek one. A more professional one compared to the other. On the right, the familiar, boxy weight of your Polaroid. The one Jin had handed over with a knowing smile not too long ago.
"You're late," Taehyung says, though his boxy grin tells you he doesn't care. He tosses the Polaroid toward you. Your hands fly up, catching it instinctively. "I thought maybe the GPS led you to a bridal shop by mistake."
"Ha. Very funny," you retort, feeling the weight of the camera in your palms. It feels different today. "Why are we in a condemned building, Taehyung?"
"Because out there." He gestures vaguely toward the road you just came from. "Everything is already finished. People only take pictures of things that are perfect. Thatâs boring."
He walks toward you, his boots crunching on dirt and broken glass. He stops just a foot away, reaching out to put your strap around your neck.
"Youâve had to look at life like a checklist lately," he says softly, his voice dropping an octave. "You're not going to do that today."
He points his own camera at a patch of peeling red paint on the far wall. Click. He doesn't even look at the digital display.
"Don't look for the right thing. Don't look to see if something is perfect," he instructs, stepping behind you. He places his hands over yours, guiding the Polaroid up to your eye. "Stop trying to preserve a memory that hasn't happened yet. Just look at the light. See how it hits that broken glass?"
You squint through the viewfinder. The glass shards shine against the grey floor.
"Your finger's shaking," he whispers near your ear. "Let go and just press the button."
Click-whir
The mechanical whine of the Polaroid developing fills the silence. You pull the square of black film out, holding it gingerly by the edges.
"Don't shake it," he warns with a chuckle. "Just wait. Let it reveal itself. You don't have to rush it."
As the colors begin to bleed through the film. The vibrant blues, harsh shadows and the jagged edges of the warehouse start to appear. You feel a strange, fluttering sensation in your throat.
Itâs messy.
Itâs unpolished.
Itâs the first thing youâve owned since the accident that Corbyn or your parents haven't had a hand in choosing for you. Taehyung looks down at the emerging photo, then up at you, his eyes searching yours.
"There she is," he says. "I missed her."
You look down at the small square of film, watching the murky grays sharpen. Itâs not a pretty picture. It wouldn't make it into a wedding album or a frame on a mantelpiece.
Itâs sharp.
Itâs lonely.
Itâs honest.
"I think I miss her, too," you murmur, the words catching in your throat.
You realize you arenât just talking about your eye for a good shot. Youâre talking about the girl who always seemed to be walking on eggshells around others. A girl who was too afraid of messes and now avoided them.
Taehyungâs hand starts pulling you gently toward a staircase that looks like it hasn't seen a safety inspection since the nineties.
"Good. Now let's see what else you can find," he says. He starts climbing, his movements fluid and careless, his own camera swinging against his hip. "Upstairs. The light is better. More... unfiltered. Watch your step. If you fall, I'll take your picture and the chat will laugh."
âI don't doubt that,â you say.
You follow him, your shoes hitting the metal slats with a hollow sound. At the top, the roof has partially collapsed, letting in a flood of afternoon sun that illuminates old machinery and rusted pipes. Taehyung doesn't stop. Heâs already moving, crouching low to capture moss on a stack of wooden pallets.
"Don't just stand there," he calls out without looking back. "The film is expensive, but your time is more expensive. Use both. You have six shots left in the camera after you wasted one on Jin's ugly face. Get going."
You wander toward a window thatâs missing its frame entirely. From here, you can see the horizon. The cityâs skyline looks so small. The tall buildings look tiny. All the pressure, the timelines, the neutral-colored dresses... they seem so insignificant.
You lift the Polaroid and look around.
Through the lens, you see Taehyung. Heâs stopped moving. Heâs standing in a beam of light, his head tilted back, eyes closed as he breathes in the dust-heavy air. He looks like a piece of art himself. Completely unbothered and completely present in the moment.
Your finger hovers over the shutter.
"Taehyung," you say softly and he opens one eye, a smirk playing on his lips.
Click-whir.
The camera spits out the film. You don't look at it yet. You keep the camera raised, hiding your face behind the plastic body as you feel the heat rise in your cheeks.
He walks over, invading your space with that easy, magnetic confidence. He reaches out and he takes the developing photo from your grip. He looks at the silhouette of himself caught between the light and the wreckage.
"Not bad," he says, with a nod of his head. He looks from the photo to you. "You caught the part I usually try to hide."
"Which part?" You ask.
"You'll figure it out," he says.
He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small piece of tape. He walks to a nearby pillar, already covered in layers of faded posters and graffiti, and sticks your photo right in the center of a blank spot.
"What are you doing?" You ask.
"Leaving a mark," he says simply. He turns back to you, leaning his weight against the pillar, right next to your image. "This place is full of things people gave up onâŠ. things people lost. Take a look around. Itâs still standing. Itâs still changing."
He gestures to the vast, open space around you.
"Youâve got five shots left in that pack. I want them to be things that make you feel something. Not things that look correct. If you see something that makes you want to run away, take a picture of it instead. Stay in the moment until it stops being scary."
You look at the camera in your hands.
Five shots.
â"Five shots isn't a lot," you say, your voice sounding clearer.
â"Itâs plenty if you stop overthinking it," Taehyung replies. Heâs already moved away, squatting near a pile of discarded industrial spools. He isn't posing or trying to lead you. Heâs just existing in the space. His attention is snagged away by a spiderweb that has bridged the gap between two rusted gears.
âYou turn away from him, forcing yourself to look at the wreckage of the room. At first, it just looks like trash. A shattered chair. A pile of insulation that looks like rotting cotton candy. A streak of mold on a support beam. Your instinct is to recoil. To go find the "pretty" corner, or some cloud shots in the sky.
However, then you see a single work glove left on a windowsill. Itâs stiff with age and stained with oil from a job finished decades ago. It looks lonely.
âClick-whir.
âYou don't wait for the image to develop. You move to the center of the room where the roof has caved in. Drywall and timber lies in a jagged pile. The light hits wood, turning the mess into a mountain of gold.
âClick-whir.
âYouâre moving faster now. âYou find a patch of graffiti on a far wall. It isnât a mural. Itâs just a name, JUNO, scrawled in dripping yellow paint. Someone wanted to be known. Someone was here and didn't want to be forgotten.
âClick-whir.
â"Three," Taehyung calls out. Heâs sitting on the edge of the floor where the wall has crumbled away, his legs dangling over the three-story drop. "Whatâs the fourth one? Don't think. Just point and shoot."
âYou pivot.
Your eyes land on a fire extinguisher cabinet. The glass is gone. The extinguisher is gone. All thatâs left is a red metal box, empty and hollow.
âClick-whir.
ââYou walk toward the edge where Taehyung is sitting. You don't sit down. You aren't that brave yet, but you stand close enough to see the tops of the trees swaying below. The wind is stronger here, pulling at your hair, whipping a strand across your mouth.
âYou don't point the camera at the horizon. You don't point it at him.
âInstead, you point it straight down at your own feet. Your scuffed sneakers are covered in grey dust, standing on the very edge of the concrete, right where the floor turns into nothing. It looks like you're about to fall.
âClick-whir.
âThe sound is satisfying.
The camera is empty.
âTaehyung stands up, brushing the dirt off his pants. He doesn't ask to see the last one. He just walks over to the pillar where he taped his own photo and waits. You join him, lining up your five new squares on the concrete floor.
The glove. The mountain of debris. The yellow name. The empty red box. And finally, your feet on the edge of the world.
â"Look at that," Taehyung says, pointing at the shot of your shoes. "You didn't back up to get a safe angle. You kept the height in the frame."
â"I hated looking at it," you admit, staring at the photo. "The height. It made my stomach turn."
â"But you didn't look away," he says, shifting his weight. He looks at the JUNO graffiti, then back at you. "People think photography is about capturing beauty. Itâs not. Itâs about proof that you were standing there, feeling that specific thing, at that specific second. You can't be polite with a lens. It sees what it sees."
âHe reaches out and grabs the photo of the empty fire extinguisher box, handing it to you.
â"Keep this one," he says. "Stick it somewhere your fiancĂ© won't find it. Or better yet, stick it somewhere he will."
You were about to open your mouth to argue with him. To tell him to stop trying to cause problems, but you don't. Instead, you take the photo and stare at it before sliding it into your back pocket. Taehyung gives you a little mischievous smirk.
"Good.â Taehyung smiles at you. âOkay,â he rubs his hands together. âI didnât just drag you out here to make you climb stairs. I did bring you somethingâ
You watch him job over to a bag that he must have had hidden earlier. As he unzips it, he pulls out a book. Not a sketchbook like Yura had the first time around.
No.
You recognize this type of book. You recognize this type of spiral binding and thick cardstock type paper between the covers. It's a scrapbook of some type.
His hand smooths along the cover before he finally places it in your hands.
âItâs you,â he says and you give him a questioning look.
âWhat?â You ask.
âOpen it.â He nods toward it.
Your fingers hesitate for half a second on the cover. Your fingers grip the corner and turn it over slowly.
AndâŠ.
Youâre staring back at yourself.
Not posed.
Not polished.
You.
You're laughing. You're head thrown back, eyes closed, hair a mess like you didnât care. You don't know where you are. You couldn't tell from the background, but it didn't matter.
You freeze.
âThatâsâŠâ your voice falters. âThatâs me.â
âYeah,â Taehyung says softly.
You turn the page.
Another photo.
You, sitting cross-legged on the floor, paint on your hands, something bright smeared across your cheek.
Another.
You mid-step and slightly blurry as you look over your shoulder at something or someone.
Another.
You with your head resting on someoneâs shoulder. Unfortunately, it's cropped just enough that you canât tell who.
Your fingers slow as something clicks into place.
âThese are all me,â you murmur. âWho took them?â
âEveryone,â Taehyung informs you. âWe all took them. Whenever you werenât looking. We always said we would get you back for taking our pictures.â
You glance closer when something catches your eye. It's small, almost hidden on the bottom of one photo.
J.K.
You look back at the one of you resting on someone's shoulder.
Jimin :)
You flip a page and you see a picture with a spoon in your mouth and a bowl of ice cream in front of you.
Hobi!!
Each one signed.
Each one claimed.
Your throat tightens.
âYou⊠kept all of these?â You ask quietly, but Taehyung huffs a small breath.
âYou kept all of these,â he corrects. âWe just⊠made sure they didnât disappear when you did.â
You turn to another page. Each one is different.
Messy.
Loud.
Quiet.
Soft.
Versions of you that you never thought you'd see. Flipping the page, you stop. Your fingers go still against the page. Everything inside of you freezes.
Itâs you standing at the edge of a pier. You're barefoot as the boards stretched out beneath your feet. The sunset is beautiful on the horizon. Gorgeous colors of gold, purple and pinks paint the sky.
And youâre not posing.
Youâre just⊠there.
Looking at it while your hair whips you in the face.
Exactly likeâŠ..
âNo way,â you whisper and turn to look at Taehyung. âWho took this? There's no signature.â
Taehyung looks at the picture and then you.
âIâŠumâŠ,â he sucks a breath through his teeth and looks around.
âTaehyung?â You ask.
âI don't remember,â he says.
You look back down at the photo.
Yourself âŠ. barefoot, just like your dream. The wind is blowing your hairâŠ.just like your dream. There is no way that could be a coincidence.
Your fingers tighten slightly around the edge of the page. Then without thinking, you slide the photo free of its corner fasteners. The paper makes a quiet sound as it leaves the album.
Taehyung doesnât stop you.
Doesnât comment.
You hold it closer to your face for half a second before you tuck the picture carefully into the back pocket of your jeans with the fire extinguisher. Before you continue and act like nothing happened.
You turn the page. The shift is subtle, but itâs there. The next few photos feel different.
Less chaotic.
You, sitting at a desk.
You, leaning over something just out of frame.
You, mid-laugh again, but softer this time.
Then, you stop again. Your breath catches, but not as sharply as before as confusion sets in.
Itâs a classroom.
It's clearly a classroom.
Bright walls. Low shelves. Papers taped unevenly to a whiteboard behind you. Small chairs that were too small for you. They were pulled around a table covered in what looks like paint, markers, something messy and colorful.
Youâre in the middle of it. Kneeling beside a kid you canât fully see, your hand guiding theirs. Thereâs paint on your fingers again. You're smiling at whatever it you two were doing.
Your brows pull together slightly.
âI didnâtâŠâ you start, more to yourself than him. âI thought I didn't make it to a classroom?â
âYou didn't.â Taehyung confirms. âThat was at a community center. Back in college, Hobi volunteered there. He actually made all of us volunteer there with him at some point. You loved it there and stayed as long as you could. You did arts and crafts with the kids.â
Your gaze drops back to the picture.
âWhere is it?â You ask quietly and Taehyung doesnât miss a beat.
âItâs still there,â he says. âHobi runs it now.â
Your head snaps up to stare at him. Something sparks behind your eyes. Curiosity, maybe? Or something stronger.
âCan we go?â You ask.
No hesitation.
No overthinking.
Just the sudden overwhelming feeling of wanting. Taehyung studies you for half a second before he smiles.
âYeah,â he says. âWe can go.â
The city starts to come back slowly. Nicer roads hit your tires. You stop at traffic lights. People start to slowly fill the sidewalks.
It feels different now. Like youâre looking at it from the outside instead of being stuck inside it.
Taehyungâs car turns down a quieter street, lined with older buildings. Some were updated, some not. Murals stretch across brick walls, colors layered over time, not erased.
He pulls into a small lot as you park beside him. For a second, neither of you moves. He glances over at you through his car.
âYou good?â He asks through his windows.
âYeah.â You nod.
It comes out softer than you expected. However, itâs true. You step out of the car, closing the door behind you, your eyes already lifting toward the building.
Itâs not big.
Not polished.
But itâs⊠alive.
Windows open. Laughter faintly spilling out somewhere inside. Color taped to the glass. Drawings, uneven letters, things that werenât made to be perfect.
You take a deep breath. You donât wait this time and you start walking. Taehyung falls into step beside you without a word leading you into a world where you once belonged.
Inside, itâs louder.
Warm.
Messy in the best way.
Kidsâ voices echo down the hallway. Someone runs past you, nearly colliding with your arm before darting away with a laugh. The walls are covered in paint, paper, handprints, things layered over each other without rules.
You slow down trying to take it in. While nothing feels familiar right now. You didn't want to miss anything.
You thought this was beautiful.
âThis way,â Taehyung murmurs, nodding down the hall.
You follow him past an open room where kids sit around tables covered in paint. Past another where music drifts faintly in the background behind a closed door. Something about that makes your chest pull, but itâs gone before you can grab it. He stops outside a door and knocks once before pushing it open.
âHobi,â he calls casually, stepping inside.
âWhat are you doing here?â Hobi says, sounding almost distracted.
Hobi is standing behind a cluttered desk, papers in uneven stacks, a mug pushed too close to the edge. He looks the same as you remember when you saw him at his apartment. Bright and full of life, but right now thereâs something else under it.
Surprise.
Real, unfiltered surprise.
His eyes shift past Taehyung and land on you. Taehyung leans casually against the wall, like heâs giving you the space to handle it.
âIâŠ,â you start, then stop, adjusting slightly. âI saw a picture.â
âA picture?â He repeats, pulling his eyebrows together.
You nod, your fingers brushing lightly against the edge of the album still tucked against you.
âOf meâŠ.here,â you explain. âI just⊠wanted to see it.â
Hobi looks at you for a long second before his gaze flicks to Taehyung.
âYeah,â he says finally, slower this time. âYeah, you were here.â
He steps out from behind the desk, closing the space between you slightly.
âYou donât remember it, do you?â He asks.
âNo,â you admit with a shake of your head.
His lips press together for a second before he nods.
âYou used to come in like you belonged here,â he says, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. âDidnât matter if you had class, didnât matter if you were tired. If the kids were here, you were here. You would even come here on days that I didn't.â
âCan IâŠâ you start, glancing toward the door that you and Taehyung just walked through. âCan I see it? The room?â
âYeah. Of course you can.â Hobi doesnât hesitate.He gestures toward the hallway, already moving. âCome on.â
You follow him out, Taehyung just behind you. Down the hall and past the noise. Until Hobi stops at an open doorway. He steps aside and lets you look first.
Itâs the room.
You know it before you even think about it.
The tables.
The paint.
The chaos of color layered over everything.
Itâs not clean.
Itâs not controlled.
Your breath slows without you meaning it to. You step inside slowly trying not to disturb anything. Your fingers brush the edge of a table. There's paint dried into the wood, layers of it, years of it.
You swallow.
âI was here?â You ask, making sure. âI helped here?â
âYeah,â Hobi leans lightly against the doorway, arms crossing loosely. âYou didnât just help,â he adds. âYou pretty much planned the whole schedule for the arts and crafts program. Yura often joked that they should pay you.â
Your fingers curl slightly against the table. The room smells like paint and construction paper. It's a smell that hits you with the force of a physical weight.
You reach out, your fingertips grazing a row of plastic bins. They are filled to the brim with mismatched supplies. Crinkled pipe cleaners in neon oranges and electric blues. Jars of buttons that sat next to dried-out glue sticks with caps that couldn't be found.
You stop at a workstation where a stray paintbrush lies abandoned on a paper plate. The bristles are stiff, caked in paint. Without thinking, you pick it up. You find yourself rolling the handle between your thumb and forefinger, a nervous habit you didn't know you had until this exact second.
"You used to keep the brushes soaking in those old jam jars," Hobi says softly from the doorway. He points to a shelf of glass containers. "You were the only one who could get the kids to actually wash them instead of just leaving them to rot."
You look at the jars, then back at your hands. You can almost feel the phantom sensation of cold tap water and soapy bristles against your palms.
Buzz. Buzz.
The vibration against your thigh is jarring. You pull your phone from your back pocket.
Corbyn.
The name looks strange here. Out of place. You see the time. Itâs been hours since you left. Heâs likely finished with his meetings. Heâs likely standing in the kitchen, looking at the empty space where you should be. You stare at the green "Accept" button. With a sharp, decisive flick of your thumb, you swipe the notification away. You press the side button until the screen goes black, plunging the reasonable world back into darkness. You slide the phone back into your pocket, feeling a rebellious spark of heat in your chest.
"Hobi," you say, your voice cracking slightly before you steady it. You gesture to the room, the messy tables, and the vibrant, unfinished drawings taped to the walls. "Do you... do you still take volunteers? I mean, I know I might not be able to do what I did back then, butâŠ"
"We always need help," Hobi interrupts, his eyes brightening with that signature, sun-like intensity. âRight now we only have one room open for art, but we really need two."
You look at Taehyung, who gives you a slow, encouraging nod. Then you look back at the room. This was the place where you chose to be, before everyone started choosing for you.
"When can I start?" You ask.
"How do you feel about finger painting Saturdays?" Hobiâs smile widens, reaching his eyes this time.
Finger painting Saturdays.
Itâs simple.
Small.
Messy.
Corbyn and your parents would hate it.
You nod, not trusting your voice for a second.
âOkay,â you say instead, softer.
Hobi grins, already turning like heâs about to start talking schedules, times, logistics. It's things that probably used to feel normal. However, right now, now you just need a second. You just need a moment to take in the fact that you made a pretty big decision. One that you will not be able to hide.
âIâm gonna head out,â you add, taking a small step back toward the hallway. âIâll⊠come back.â
Thereâs something unspoken in it.
Not if.
Hobi hears it.
âYeah,â he says, nodding once. âI know you will.â
Taehyung pushes off the wall, falling into step beside you as you leave the room.
âAre you really going to volunteer again?â Taehyung asks.
âYeah,â you say. âI really am.â
As you continue to walk, you are about to pass the once closed door where the music was drifting from earlier. Your steps slow once you start to pass.
It's then you see him. Heâs sitting at the piano, shoulders slightly hunched forward, one hand pressing a key, then another, listening carefully. Adjusting something just out of sight. The lid is open, strings exposed. You stop dead in your tracks and look up at Taehyung.
âDoes Yoongi work here too?â You ask.
âNo,â he shakes his head. âHe volunteers on Saturdays. He's a high school music teacher.â
âMusic teacher?â You repeat and bite your lip in thought. You look down at the scrapbook in your hands. You know you can't take it back home with you. You smile at Taehyung and hand it back to him. âThank you for today. Thank you for bringing me here. I think ⊠I feelâŠ.â
âYour colors coming back,â he finishes, taking the scrapbook from you. âI'll keep this safe for when you're ready to have it.â
You nod and watch Taehyung look into the room where Yoongi sits at the piano unaware of the two of you before giving you a parting wave. You turn to the doorway and take a tentative step into the room like youâre afraid the moment might shatter if you move too fast.
The chaos of the rest of the building fades behind you, replaced by the low, uneven sound of piano keys being tested one at a time. Itâs not a song.
Not yet.
Yoongi doesnât notice you at first.
Heâs focused, head slightly bowed, fingers pressing down gently, listening more than playing. Thereâs something careful about it. Precise, but not rigid like Corbynâs world.
This feels⊠human.
You take another step in, your shoes barely making a sound against the floor.
âIs that how you usually play?â You ask, with a light laugh and Yoongi stills.
His fingers lift slowly from the keys before he turns his head just enough to see you standing there. And for a second. Just a second, something flashes across his face. In fact, itâs gone so quickly you almost think you imagined it.
âSometimes,â he answers, his voice quieter than you expected. âWhen somethingâs off.â
He turns fully on the bench now, but he doesnât stand. Like he isn't sure if he's allowed to approach you. You step a little closer instead.
âI didnât know you were a teacher,â you say, glancing at the open piano, then back at him. âTaehyung mentioned it.â
âYeah,â he nods once. âHigh school.â
Your fingers brush absently against the edge of the piano as you step closer, drawn in without thinking. The wood is smooth. Worn in places.
âYou seemâŠâ you hesitate, searching for the right word. âCareful with it.â
Yoongiâs gaze flicks to your hand on the piano, then back to your face.
âI am.â He nods.
âIs that how we met?â You ask and he stares blankly at you.
âIn college,â you continue, watching him carefully. âDid we bond over wanting to teach?â
Yoongi doesnât answer right away. His gaze drops briefly to the keys, like heâs buying himself a second. His thumb brushes absently against the edge of one, not pressing it. He just gently lets his fingers brush against it.
âNo,â he says finally.
Itâs quiet, but itâs clear.
âNo?â You repeat.
âNot at first.â He shakes his head once, slow.
Thereâs a pause again, but this one feels different. Less like heâs avoiding. Itâs more like heâs choosing how to say it.
âWe didn't meet through wanting to teach,â he continues, his voice steady but softer now. âYura brought you around,â he says. âShe saidâŠâ he exhales lightly through his nose, like the memory is oddly specific. âYou were the only person she could stand in her art class.â
âReally?â You laugh lightly.
âYou came in like a force you did,â he says quietly. âCovered in glitter and I think you even had paint in your hair when we first met you.â
âI had paint in my hair?â You look a little embarrassed. âOn purpose?â
âI have no idea,â he laughs so softly it almost sounds somber. âYeah, pretty sure it was on purpose.â
âI sounded⊠chaotic.â You huff a small breath, shaking your head trying to picture yourself with paint in your hair.
âYou were,â he says simply.
Yoongi turns back toward the piano, his fingers hovering over the keys again. For a second, he doesnât play. Then, his finger hits one note.
Soft.
Then another.
He adjusts slightly, like heâs feeling for something just out of reach. The sound isnât polished. It isnât a performance. Itâs⊠searching, the same way you saw earlier.
You donât say anything this time.
You just move.
Slowly, you step closer to the bench. Thereâs a brief hesitation. It's like youâre checking if this space is yours to enter. If he's willing to share with you.
Yoongi shifts, just slightly. An invitation without words and you sit beside him. Close enough to hear the quiet press of each key. Close enough to feel the faint warmth of him beside you.
The melody starts to take shape.
Itâs simple.
A little uneven in places.
Your shoulders relax without you realizing it. Your hands rest loosely in your lap, fingers still faintly stained from the dust earlier in the day.
You donât look at him.
You just listen.
After a while, he smooths out the melody, repeating a sequence. It's slightly different each time. Testing. Adjusting. Letting it breathe.
It fills the room in a way that doesnât overwhelm it.
It belongs here.
You exhale slowly, almost matching the rhythm.
âI told Hobi,â your voice comes out quieter than you expect. âThat Iâm going to start coming here again.â
His hands pause for half a second on the keys.
Not stopping.
Just⊠listening.
âOn Saturdays,â you add, glancing down at the worn wood of the piano. âTo help. With the kids.â
The next note he plays is softer.
âYeah?â He says, not looking at you.
However, thereâs something in his voice now. Something that wasnât there before.
âYeah.â You nod. âI'm ready to ⊠find my colors.â
Yoongi doesnât answer right away. The note heâs holding lingers a second longer than it should before it fades under his fingers. His hand stays resting on the keys, like he forgot what he was about to play next.
âFind your colors,â he repeats quietly.
Not questioning it.
Just⊠testing how it sounds out loud.
You nod, even though heâs not looking at you.
âYeah.â You nod again.
Yoongi exhales slowly through his nose, his fingers shifting again. He presses a key,soft, low, and lets it ring.
âSounds like you have already started,â he says.
You glance down at your hands, faint traces of dust still clinging to your skin, tucked into the lines of your fingers. Not hidden.
âMaybe,â you admit.
The corner of his mouth moves. It's not a full smile.
Just acknowledgement.
His hands move again, picking the melody back up. Itâs steadier now. After a moment, your eyes drift to the keys.
âYouâre not playing anything I recognize,â you say softly.
Yoongiâs fingers still for just a fraction of a second. Then very slowly he turns his head toward you. Thereâs something different in his expression this time. Something almost⊠knowing.
âAre you sure about that?â He asks quietly before turning back to the ivory keys.
The melody shifts again after that.
Warmer.
More certain.
You sit there beside him, not asking more questions. Not trying to pull memories that arenât ready to come back.
Just listening.
And for the first time in a long timeâŠ
You donât feel like youâre waiting for your life to start.
You feel like youâve stepped back into it.
Steam still clings to the mirror, softening the edges of everything. You stand barefoot on the tile, hair damp, a loose shirt hanging off your shoulders. The faint scent of soap lingers in the air, but it doesnât quite cover the smell of the outside world that still clings to your memory. The dust, the paint, and everything real.
Your fingers reach up and grab the photo you placed on the shelf next to your engagement ring. You pull it off carefully, like it might disappear if you move too fast.
For a second, you just hold it.
Then you look.
Itâs you.
Barefoot at the edge of the pier, the sky bleeding gold and violet behind you. Your hair is wild, caught mid-motion, but it doesnât matter. Youâre not posing. Youâre not aware.
You justâŠexisting.
Your thumb brushes lightly over the edge of the film.
âHow could I have dreamt of this?â You whisper to yourself.
A sharp knock breaks the moment.
You flinch and your head snaps toward the door.
âHey,â Corbynâs voice comes from the other side. âAre you almost done? We need to talk.â
Your heart jumps and your fingers tighten instinctively around the photo.
âYeah,â you call back, a little too quick. âOne second.â
You look back down at the picture. If he sees it you know there will be questions.
Where did you get that?
When did you go there?
Who took it?
Your eyes flick around the bathroom quickly.
Another knock. Firmer this time.
âYouâve been in there a while.â He calls from behind the door.
âI know,â you say, forcing your voice steady. âJust give me a second.â
Your gaze lands on the drawer that still hides your group picture and Jimin's business card.
Your headband drawer.
You move fast.
You slide it open, pushing aside the fabric and carefully laying the picture at the bottom before arranging the hair accessories back on top of it.
You close the drawer.
The sound feels louder than it should. You straighten, quickly running your fingers through your damp hair, wiping any trace of guilt from your face.
Another breath.
In.
Out.
You reach for the door and pull it open. Corbyn is standing there exactly how you expected.His eyes move over you once. Quick and assessing. Damp hair. Oversized shirt. Bare feet on tile.
âYou okay?â he asks, but thereâs something else underneath it now.
âYeah,â you answer, easily as you step past him, keeping your movements casual. âJust took a long shower.â
He doesnât move right away.
âWhere were you today?â He asks âI texted you. I called,â he adds. âYou didnât answer.â
You keep your back to him for a second longer than necessary, giving yourself just enough time to smooth your expression into something neutral.
Something believable.
âI was out,â you say.
Itâs not a lie.
Just not the whole truth.
âWith who?â He asks.
Thereâs no accusation in his tone, but there is expectation. Your fingers curl slightly at your side before you answer.
âLeah,â you say. Her name comes easier than you thought it would. âI just⊠needed to get out of the house for a bit.â
That part is true. You let your shoulders drop slightly, like youâre letting him see just enough of that truth.
âI didnât really feel like talking,â you add, softer. âI just wanted some space.â
Corbyn watches you for a long second. He exhales, some of the tension leaving his posture.
âOkay,â he says. âI just⊠I didnât know where you were.I thought maybe you were still upset.â He steps a little closer, not enough to crowd you. Just enough to close the distance. âAbout the other day. Iâm sorry.â
That makes you blink.
You didnât expect that.
âI shouldnât have pushed it like that,â he continues. âThe venue, the timelines⊠I know it came off like I wasnât listening.â
He glances away briefly, like organizing his thoughts before finishing.
âI just want things to go smoothly,â he says. âFor us.â
âI know,â you say.
And you do.
Thatâs what makes this harder.
He studies your face for a second, like heâs checking if thatâs enough.
âI actually called the wedding planner earlier,â he adds, shifting the conversation slightly. âAfter I couldn't find you.â
âOh?â Your brows knit faintly.
âYeah,â he nods. âI told her what you said and that we needed to add something you wanted.â
âReally?â You ask
âShe said we can adjust some things,â he continues. âAdd some pops of color. Nothing that would affect the schedule or timing, just ⊠small changes. Details.â
He watches you as he says it.
Like this is him trying.
Meeting you halfway.
âIt wonât disturb any of the constraints,â he adds, almost automatically. âEverything will still stay on track.â
There it is again.
Structure.
Contained.
Safe.
Your mind flickers to paint-stained fingers. To a photo taped onto a crumbling pillar. To a song being played on a piano.
To youâŠ..
barefoot, wind in your hair, not thinking about timing at all.
You look back at him.
At the effort. At the version of care he knows how to give.
âThatâs⊠good,â you say.
And it is.
But it doesnât quite reach the place in your chest that today touched. Corbyn nods once, like heâs resolved something.
âOkay,â he says. âWeâll go over options later. Together.â
Together.
You nod again.
âYeah,â you answer softly.
âIâll be in my office,â he says. âIf you need anything.â
You watch him walk away this time and listen to the quiet click of the door down the hall. Just like that, the house settles back into its careful silence. Your gaze drifts, almost unconsciously, back toward the bathroom.
Where something real is hidden.
With a sigh, youâre not sure which version of your life is supposed to come first anymore. The one you've been building or the one you're trying to reclaim.
<Next>
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Eventual Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
The final walk through of the wedding venue was âŠ. underwhelming.
Youâve walked this path before. Same polished floors. Same soft white draping gathered along the beams. Same rows of perfectly aligned chairs, tied with ribbons that fall at identical lengths like someone measured each one down to the millimeter.
Nothing has changed and somehow thatâs what feels wrong.
âEverything is exactly as we finalized,â the planner says warmly, gesturing toward the ceremony space as if presenting something brand new.
âIt looks even better in person.â Your mother smiles, pleased.
You nod because you have seen it in person.
Twice.
Maybe three times. You donât even remember anymore. Your heels echo softly as you walk forward, your eyes scanning details you know youâve already approved.
The arch.
The aisle.
The placement of the quartet.
You know where everything goes before the planner even points it out.
âAnd then guests will transition to the terrace for cocktail hour. It's the same layout we discussed previously,â she continues.
âYes, perfect,â your mother says again.
Perfect.
The word doesnât land right. It doesnât land at all. You step slightly ahead of them, gaze drifting toward the open terrace doors. A breeze slips through, lifting the curtains just enough to make them sway.
For a second, you try to picture it full.
People.
Music.
Voices.
Instead, it feels empty. Like a staged room no one actually goes in.Your fingers brush lightly against the back of one of the chairs as you pass.
Youâve approved this.
You know you did.
So why does it feel like youâre looking at someone elseâs choices?
âCould we change something?â You ask.
The words come out quiet. Both women stop before looking at one another and looking back at you.
âChange something?â The planner blinks, clearly thrown.
âWhat do you mean, sweetheart?â Your mother asks, studying you carefully.
You hesitate to answer because you donât know exactly what you want. You only know that this isn't it.
âI know weâve already gone through all of this,â you say carefully, glancing around again. âI just⊠it feels a littleâŠâ
You trail off, searching. Your mother watches you as the planner waits nervously drumming her fingers on her tablet.
âFlat,â you finish and thereâs a subtle shift in your motherâs posture.
âFlat,â she repeats.
âI donât mean it in a bad way,â you say quickly. âItâs just⊠weâve seen this so many times and I thought maybe when I came back, it would feel different.â
âIt looks exactly how you wanted it,â she replies.
Thatâs the problem. You donât remember wanting it. You glance down the aisle again and try to picture yourself standing there.
Walking.
Smiling.
Feeling something.
Anything.
âI know,â you say quietly. âI just thought maybe we could add something that feels more⊠personal.â
âWe can absolutely incorporate personal touches.â The planner jumps in gently, sensing the tension.
âWeâve already incorporated personal elements,â your mother cuts in smoothly. âThe florals were chosen specifically for you. The color palette complements your complexion. Even the music selectionâŠâ
âI know,â you say again, softer this time. âI'm sorry.â
However, the words feel rehearsed. Like you've said them one too many times before. Your mother studies you now, something sharper behind her eyes.
âWhere is this coming from?â She asks.
You open your mouth and hesitate. The honest answer sounds ridiculous. The honest answer will open a door that you don't know how to handle right now.
âI just thought,â you try instead. âSince this is the last walkthrough⊠maybe we could adjust something small. Just to make it feel a little moreâŠâ You stop again.
More what?
You donât even know.
Your mother exhales slowly, folding her hands in front of her.
âYouâve seen this multiple times,â she says, calm but firm. âYou approved every detail.â
âI know.â You say a bit more sharply.
âThen whatâs changed?â She asks.
You donât have an answer. Not one that makes sense out loud. Honestly, nothing has changed.
Except you.
âI donât know,â you admit.
That seems to unsettle her more than anything else.
âYou donât know?â Her brows knit slightly.
Thereâs something in her tone now.
Concern.
Confusion.
A flicker of something else she hasnât said yet.
âYouâve loved everything up until now,â she adds. âYou were excited.â
Were you?
You search your own memory and come up with nothing solid.
Just⊠agreement.
Just⊠going along with it.
âI said yes because everyone expected me to,â you reply quietly.
âAre you getting cold feet?â Her expression tightens.
Silence stretches between you. The planner shifts awkwardly, pretending to review something on her tablet. Your mother looks at you like she is trying to figure out who you are.
âIs this about the accident?â She asks finally.
âNo.â You lie.
âWe are not making last-minute changes based on uncertainty,â she says gently, but decisively. âIf you have a specific idea, we can revisit it. Otherwise, everything stays as planned.â
Thereâs no room to argue in her tone.
Itâs not harsh.
Itâs final.
You nod slowly.
âShall we continue?â The planner asks carefully.
âYes.â Your mother nods.
They move forward and you follow. However, this time when you look at the aisle. It doesnât feel like something youâre walking toward. The walk through the venue feels like a slow-motion funeral for your own personality. As the planner discusses the placement of the hand-calligraphed place cards, your motherâs phone pings with a work email, and she steps away, her heels clicking as she goes.
âYouâre standing by a window, staring at a "Champagne Mist" floral arrangement that looks like itâs made of expensive tissue paper, when your phone vibrates in your palm. You glance down at your phone, still hovering by the window. The screen lights up.
Operation: Find Her Brain Cells
Jungkook: Itâs my turn to take you out. Wear comfortable clothing.
You: Where?
Jungkook: Canât tell. It's a secret.
Yura: Indoor rock climbing.
You: Youâre kidding⊠Iâve never done that.
Jungkook: You have. You just donât remember.
You: I think I would remember doing something stupid
Jin: Nope, trust us. Youâve done it before.
Hobi: Yeah! There's tons of stupid things that you did that you don't remember.
Namjoon: You were way better than you give yourself credit for.
Jimin: Donât freak out. Youâll be fine.
Taehyung: Weâll cheer you on the whole way.
You stare at the messages for a long moment. You can feel the thrill and something else stirring in your chest.
Something alive.
A tiny pulse of anticipation you havenât felt in a long time.
And, reluctantly, you find yourself smiling.
The venue is still clinging to your brain like a fog when you pull into the parking lot of The Summit. Itâs a repurposed industrial warehouse one town over, the kind of place with corrugated metal siding and a bass-heavy beat thumping through the walls that you can feel even out in the parking lot.
You kill the engine, but your hands stay gripped on the steering wheel. You look down at your feet. Your old tennis shoes look completely out of place against the pristine floor mats of the car Corbyn insists you keep spotless.
You're dressed like youâre ready to run away from your problems.
You look out your window and the driver side door of a sleek, charcoal-grey sports car parked two spots over swings open. A figure hops out, adjusting a black beanie and bouncing on the balls of his feet like heâs made of literal springs.
Jungkook.
He doesn't just walk toward your car. He moves with a restless, athletic energy that makes the quiet parking lot feel suddenly electric. Heâs wearing an oversized black hoodie and joggers, a chalk bag already clipped to his waist.
He taps on your window, a massive, mischievous grin splitting his face.
âNice car you have there,â you say, getting out of your car and staring at the less than discreet car.
"I borrowed it from Jin," Jungkook corrects, his eyes sparkling as he scans your outfit. He nods approvingly. "And he doesn't know yet, so letâs keep it between us. Are you ready to defy gravity?"
"Jungkook, I canât even climb a ladder without getting dizzy," you admit, gesturing toward the towering walls visible through the warehouse's glass front. âI'm going to fall.â
He stops, his expression softening. He reaches out, not to grab your hand, but to give your shoulder a firm squeeze.
"You don't need to remember the technique," he says, his voice dropping to a nice reassuring tone. "Your muscles haven't forgotten. Besides, I'm the one holding the rope. Iâm not letting you fall. Not today, not ever."
"The others said I crushed it last time," you say as you walk toward the entrance. "Was I actually good, or are they just being supportive?"
Jungkook snickers, pulling the heavy metal door open for you. The smell of chalk dust and rubber hits you instantly. It's a dry, gritty scent that makes something in the back of your mind itch.
"Supportive? Please," Jungkook laughs. "The last time we were here, you bet Taehyung twenty bucks you could finish a V4 route before he could finish his smoothie. You won. He cried. It was a masterpiece."
You step inside, and the scale of the place hits you. The walls are forty feet high, a kaleidoscope of neon-colors. Jagged pieces of pinks, greens, and oranges stuck to the plywood. Jungkook leads you to the rental counter, already talking to the staff like he owns the place.
"Two harnesses. She needs aggressive shoes in a 5," Jungkook tells the staff.
The girl behind the counter nods, sliding a pair of tight, curved climbing shoes across the wood. You slide your hand over the rubber. Itâs tacky and cold.
âI'm not a five,â you whisper to him.
âI know,â he laughs lightly and helps you into your harness. âYou need them smaller.â
As you sit on the wooden bench to pull them on, Jungkook kneels on the floor in front of you. He doesn't wait for permission. He just starts checking the buckles on your harness, his fingers moving with a practiced efficiency.
"Double-back the waist loop," he mutters, more to himself than you. "Safety first, or Yoongi really will kill me."
âWhat?â You question.
"Nothing, you're shaking." He notes softly as he looks up. âI promise you, it's going to be fine. We've done this before.â
"It's high," you whisper, looking up at the ceiling.
"Don't look at the ceiling," Jungkook says, standing up and offering you a hand to pull you to your feet. "Just look at the next hold. One move at a time. Iâve got the rest."
He leads you over to a wall covered in bright blue grips. He clips his belay device in, the metallic clack of the carabiner echoing in the gym.
"Ready?" He asks, his hand on the rope, his eyes locked on yours.
For a second, the image of the wedding aisle flashes in your mind. It was straight, flat, and suffocating. Then you look at the jagged, vertical path in front of you.
"Ready," you breathe as you reach out, your fingers curling around a cold, blue plastic hold.
"Then climb," he grins. "Show me those brain cells are still in there somewhere."
The first few feet are clumsy. Your toes feel pinched in the tight rubber shoes, and your center of gravity feels like itâs swaying on a pendulum. Every time you shift your weight, the harness tugs at your hips, a constant, nagging reminder of the growing distance between you and the padded floor.
"Trust your legs," Jungkookâs voice calls out from below. Itâs calm, lacking the frantic energy he had in the parking lot. "Your arms are for balance, your legs are for the heavy lifting. Stand up on that left foot."
You look down at a small, jagged blue ledge. It looks impossible to stand on.
"I can't," you huff, your breath coming in short, sharp bursts. "Thereâs nothing to grab."
"Thereâs a piece to your right. Reach. Don't think, just reach." Jungkook instructs.
You stretch your right arm, fingers searching blindly until they hook into a deep, hollowed-out hold. Itâs solid. Cold. Gritty with leftover chalk. You pull yourself up, and suddenly, your left foot finds the ledge.
Youâre ten feet up.
"See?" Jungkook shouts, his neck craned back. "Natural. Youâre doing the exact same sequence you did years ago. Muscle memory is a real thing, even if your brain is being stubborn."
You don't answer. You can't. Your entire world has shrunk to the plywood directly in front of your face. The smell of the gym. That dry, chalky air that fills your lungs, and for the first time in weeks, the boring wedding plans are nowhere to be found.
You reach for a triangle-shaped piece, your fingers curling around the edge. Your forearms are starting to scream, a dull, burning ache that feels⊠kind of good. You haven't been allowed any physical activity other than walking or the occasional jog by your parents since the accident.
They deemed it too dangerous.
This was kind of exhilarating.
"Five more moves to the top," Jungkook calls out. "Youâve got a big reach coming up. Trust the rope. Iâve got tension on you."
You look up. The final hold is a massive, bright blue orb near the ceiling. It looks miles away. Your heart is thumping against your ribs, a frantic, rhythmic drumming.
You shift your weight, your right foot slipping slightly on a smear of rubber.
"Jungkook!" You gasp, your fingers cramping.
"Iâm here!" he snaps back, his voice instant and sharp. "Iâm right here. Iâm not letting go. Take a breath. Shake out your left hand. Youâre fine. I'm not letting you fall."
You lean back into the harness, feeling the rope go taut. He really does have you. Youâre dangling ten feet from the ceiling, suspended by a thin nylon cord and a guy who stole a sports car to be here with you. You take a jagged breath, shaking your hand until the blood flows back into your fingertips.
"Okay," you whisper to the wall. "Okay."
You lunge.
It isn't graceful. Itâs a desperate, scrambling reach, your sneakers squeaking against the wood as you propel yourself upward. Your fingers slap against the top colorful piece, curling over the rounded edge.
You did it.
You hang there for a second, forehead pressed against the cool plywood, gasping for air. The adrenaline is rushing through you making your heart beat wildly.
"WHOO!" Jungkook yells, the sound echoing off the high metal rafters. "TOP OUT! I told you! Taehyung owes me twenty bucks now!"
"You bet on me?" You yell back, a wild, breathless laugh bubbling up in your throat.
"Always!" He laughs.
He begins to lower you, the descent smooth and controlled. As your feet touch the padded floor, your legs feel like jelly. You stumble back, and Jungkook is right there, catching you by the elbows to steady you.
Heâs grinning, his eyes bright with a pride that feels entirely too personal.
"How was it?" He asks, his hands still firm on your arms.
"Terrifying," you breathe, looking up at the blue path you just conquered. "And... amazing."
"Good," he says, as he starts to unclip your carabiner. "Because I don't think the newer version of you would ever have tried that. I like this version better. Sheâs scrappier. Hungry? I know a place that serves the best tacos in the city." He tosses the rope aside and looks at you, his head tilted.
âStarving,â you smile.
The taco place is loud in a way that feels authentic.
Not curated.
Not softened.
Not âperfect.â
Just⊠real.
Grease pops from somewhere behind the counter, music spills out of an old speaker with too much bass, and the air smells like grilled meat, lime, and something fried that definitely isnât good for you.
Your mom wouldn't like you eating here. She would probably be afraid you wouldn't fit into your wedding dress. You sit across from Jungkook at a small metal table that wobbles every time someone brushes past it. Thereâs no centerpiece. No reserved seating. No delicate color palette.
Just two trays of tacos wrapped in paper and a pile of napkins already losing the fight.
You take a bite.
Itâs messy. Sauce drips onto your fingers immediately.
And you laugh.
Actually laugh.
Jungkook watches you with the biggest smile on his face.
âTold you,â he says, leaning back in his chair, completely at home here. âLife-changing.â
âThis is already better than the five-course tasting menu my mother booked for the rehearsal dinner.â You nod, still chewing. âI don't even want to try the duck foam stuff.â
âThatâs because this has flavor,â he shoots back. âAnd personality.â
Your smile lingers, but something in that word sticks.
Personality.
You glance down at your hands, at the smear of sauce across your fingers.
Not polished.
Not controlled.
Yours.
Jungkook nudges a napkin toward you, then suddenly perks up.
âOh, wait.â He drags his bag onto the table, unzipping it with quiet excitement. âI grabbed some stuff. Figured⊠you might want it. This was actually stuff I grabbed when âŠ. you know. This isn't stuff Yura grabbed.â
Your stomach tightens, something like anticipation swells inside of you.
He reaches in and pulls out a thick, slightly chaotic stack of concert tickets, bound together with a loose rubber band.
They hit the table with a soft slap, fanning out just enough to show different colors, different venues, different nights.
Your fingers hover before picking them up. You remove the rubber band and start flipping through slowly.
âThis is⊠a lot,â you murmur.
âYou kept everything,â Jungkook says.
âAll of them?â You question.
âEvery single one.â He confirms.
Some are creased. Some have notes scribbled on the back. One has a tiny doodle in the corner.
âA lot of these are festivals,â you say and he nods.
âYeah,â he laughs, reaching into the bag again. âAnd we always lost someone. Okay, next.â
He sets a wooden box down on the table in front of you. It was worn and smudged. You flip the two metal clasps and open the top, smiling.
âYour lifeline,â he says.
Pencils. Charcoal. Blending tools that have been softened from use. Your fingers brush over them.
âI used this a lot,â you murmur.
âYou used it everywhere. Once you drew on my arm while I was driving.â Jungkook snorts.
âI did what?â You blink up at him.
âI survived,â he shrugs. âBarely.â
Your lips twitch as he reaches in one last time. In his hands is black material. A t-shirt of some sort that had painted lettering on it.
Itâs homemade.
Slightly crooked.
The painted lettering across the front in bold, uneven strokes. Jungkook doesnât hand it over right away. He just holds it up between you.
âRecognize it?â He asks and you tilt your head.
âDid I make âŠ. make that?â You question, as you scrunch your face.
âWe made it.â Jungkook shakes his head slightly.
âWhy did we make it?â You laugh.
âYou came up with the idea, dragged me into it, and then bossed me around for three hours while we painted them on the floor of your dorm while your roommate bitched at us.â He grins.
A faint, almost-there image flickersâŠ..
Paint-stained fingers.
Laughter.
Your grip tightens slightly on the art supplies as it slips away from you.
âWe made them for everyone,â he continues. âYou said if the guys were going to perform, they needed real support. So we showed up with shirts like we were their official fan club.â
Your eyes drop to word painted across the front.
UGH!
You reach across the table and take the shirt from his hands and flip it over, scrunching your face even more.
Suga
RM
J-Hope
âWhat's a Suga, RM and J-Hope?â You ask. âAnd why is there so much glitter on RM?â
Jungkook laughs.
âThat's Yoongi, Joon and Hobi,â he explains. âJoon always complained about the glitter so you made sure his name was the one with glitter in it.â
You stare at the shirt for another second and at the uneven paint. The ridiculous glitter, the loud, unapologetic chaos of itâŠ. it was ugly.
Something inside you⊠hurts.
âThis is⊠horrible,â you tell him.
âTake it back.â Jungkook gasps dramatically.
âItâs ugly,â you continue, already tugging it over your head. âItâs unhinged. The lettering on UGH! is crooked.â
âYou painted that part,â he cuts in, grinning.
âAnd the glitter is a crime,â you finish, smoothing it down over yourself anyway.
Itâs soft. It's worn in a way that feels lived-in. Not like the untouched, perfectly steamed dresses hanging in your closet. This shirt has been worn a lot.
Jungkook goes very still for a second. Not in a weird way. Just⊠taking it in. Then his grin snaps back, twice as wide.
âOh, this is happening,â he says, already grabbing his phone. âStand up.â
âNo,â you laugh immediately, clutching a taco in one hand. âAbsolutely not. I look insane.â
âYou look âŠ. right in it,â he counters, standing and backing up a few steps. âCâmon, give me something. Channel your inner chaotic fan girl.â
âI donât have one of those,â you argue.
âYou absolutely do. Iâve seen her.â He raises an eyebrow. âYou were the one screaming the loudest for them.â
That tiny flicker again⊠paint-stained fingers, music too loud, someone shouting your nameâŠ..
It vanishes before you can grab it.
âFine,â you sigh.
You stand anyway. The table wobbles as you push back, and Jungkook adjusts his stance, angling the camera.
âOkay,â he says, squinting at the screen. âTilt your head a littleâŠ..yeah, like that. Perfect. NowâŠâ
You lift the taco like a prop.
âEven better.â He snorts.
You donât pose. You just stand there in your messy shirt. Grease-stained fingers. Hair slightly out of place from the climb. Wishing he would hurry up.
Jungkook taps the screen before he checks it and immediately bursts out laughing.
âOh, theyâre going to lose their minds.â He laughs.
âDonât you dare,â you say.
Too late. His thumbs are already moving.
âWhat did you do?â You drop back into your chair, narrowing your eyes.
âNothing,â he says, entirely unconvincing. âJust⊠sharing important content.â
âIs this what Jin feels like,â you groan.
Your phone buzzes.
Once.
Twice.
Then âŠ. nonstop.
You stare at it for a second before flipping it over.
Operation: Find Her Brain Cells
Jungkook: [photo attached]
Jungkook: Guess who I found
Hobi: NO WAY
Hobi: NOOOOO WAY
Jimin: ??????
Jimin: IS THATâŠ
Yura: Our President is back!
Jin: Where is my car?
Taehyung: YOU GAVE HER THE SHIRT
Namjoon: That glitter is alive and well.
âTheyâre insane.â You choke on a laugh.
Jungkook leans forward, elbows on the table, watching your reaction like itâs the best part.
Hobi: Yoongi IS BLUSHING
Jimin: His ears are red
Taehyung: LOOK AT HIM HE WONâT EVEN TYPE
Jin: Jungkook bring me my car back
You glance up and Jungkook is grinning.
âIgnore Jin,â he tells you. âHe's fine.â
Your eyes drop back to the phone. Thereâs something warm spreading through your chest.
Not confusion, but maybe....connection. Messy, loud, ridiculous connection.
You type before you can overthink it.
You: I donât even know what this shirt means.
You: but I look better in it than all of you
Jimin: SHEâS BACK
Hobi: SHEâS BACK đ
Yura: THAT'S MY GIRL!
Yoongi: you always did
You freeze for half a second and Jungkook catches it.
âWhat?â he asks.
You shake your head quickly, but thereâs a smile tugging at your mouth now. It is softer than before.
âNothing,â you say. âJust⊠I think I like this version of me too.â
Jungkook doesnât answer right away. For the first time today he goes quiet.
Not distracted. Not playful.
Itâs subtle at first. The way his grin lingers a second too long before fading. The way his fingers stop tapping against the table. The way his eyes drop. It's not to his phone, not to the food, but somewhere in between, like heâs choosing his next move carefully.
âHey,â you say lightly, nudging his foot under the table. âYou okay?â
He blinks, like youâve pulled him back.
âYeah,â he nods quickly. âYeah, Iâm good.â
However, heâs not bouncing anymore. Not buzzing.
Just⊠thinking.
He glances toward the door, then back at you.
âWanna walk?â He asks.
Itâs casual. Too casual like thereâs something underneath it. You hesitate for half a second before you nod.
âYeah. Okay.â You agree.
The noise of the taco place fades behind you as the door swings shut, leaving just the sound of distant traffic and the occasional laugh spilling out when someone goes in or out.
You walk side by side at first. Neither one of you speaks at first. Your sneakers scuff lightly against the pavement. Jungkook shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket, shoulders slightly hunched. You glance at him.
Heâs still thinking.
âYou got quiet,â you say finally.
âYeah,â he admits as he lets out a long breath. âI wasnât always like this with you.â
âWhat do you mean?â You ask, looking at him confused and he scratches the back of his neck, eyes fixed ahead.
âNervous around you,â he admits. âLike I don't know what to say. I'm just âŠ. afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing. I don't want to upset you ⊠or Yura.â
You look down at the ground beneath your feet as the two of you walk.
âShe changed a lot after the accident,â he says. âShe carries a lot of guilt even though it wasn't her fault. She always thinks about things that could have been different that night. Things that would have kept you here.â
You bite your lip and keep listening.
âThen when we got marriedâŠ. Jin told me she cried all morning.â He whispers.
âWhy?â You ask softly.
âYou should have been by her side,â he tells you and you take a deep breath. âShe always said as much as she loved our wedding. It just felt ⊠incomplete.â
âJungkook?â You question.
âYeah?â He glances over.
You hesitate because this feels⊠worse than not remembering.
âIf⊠if no one knew I lost my memory yetâŠâ you start slowly, âthenâŠâ Your voice tightens slightly. âDid she think I just didnât care?â You ask.
Jungkook stops walking immediately. You take another step before turning back.
His expression changes fast.
âNo.â He answers, shaking his head.
Itâs immediate.
Too fast to be a lie, but you donât let it go.
âBut none of you knew,â you press quietly. âYou all just knew I wasâŠgone. So from her perspectiveâŠâ
âShe didnât think that,â he cuts in firm and certain.
âJungkookâŠâ You search his face.
âIâm serious,â he says, softer now, but no less sure. âShe didnât think you ditched her.â
âThen what did she think?â You ask and he exhales slowly, like heâs choosing his words carefully.
âShe knew something was wrong,â he says. âI think we all knew deep down that something was wrong.â
âHow?â Your brows knit slightly.
He gives a small, almost disbelieving huff.
âBecause itâs you,â he says simply. âYou wouldnât have missed our wedding. Not for anything. You were so excited when we got engaged. You and Yura would spend hours looking at wedding dresses online. The two of you would gang up on me saying the colors I liked clashed.â
ThatâŠ
That hits you hard.
Deep.
You can barely stomach your own wedding at the moment. However, you were overly excited for someone else's.
âShe kept saying it didnât make sense,â he continues. âThat you wouldnât just disappear and not try to reach out to her or Yoo...your friends. That something had to have happened,â he says.
âShe trusted me that much?â You ask, quieter now.
âYeah,â he says with a nod of his head. âShe did⊠and she still does.â
You look away, your gaze dropping to the pavement. Relief comes first. It's sharp and immediate. However, right behind it. Guilt was lingering.
âI still wasnât there,â you say.
âNo,â he agrees. âBut, it wasn't your fault.â
You nod faintly.
âShe was hurt,â he adds gently. âIâm not going to pretend she wasnât, but she wasnât angry at you,â he continues. âShe was worried. Confused. Trying to figure out what went wrong. She missed her best friend.â
A small breath leaves you.
âI wish I could remember her like that,â you murmur and a faint smile tugs at Jungkookâs mouth. âI wish I could remember having a friendship like that.â
âYeah,â he says. âMe too.â
âI think I was more scared she thought I chose not to be there,â you admit.
âNot a chance.â Jungkook shakes his head.
âYou were the one person she was waiting for,â he says. âYou know, she never trusted a lot of other women. She never really bonded with other girlfriends of the group when the guys dated. She never replaced you. She was holding your spot.â
Your eyes water at his words. These people who were strangers to you not too long ago never erased you.
You let out a slow breath.
âOkay,â you say quietly.
Jungkook studies you for a second and nudges your shoulder lightly.
âYouâre overthinking it,â he adds, a hint of his usual tone slipping back in. âIf you had actually skipped our wedding on purpose, I wouldâve hunted you down myself.â
âGood to know.â A small laugh escapes you.
âYeah,â he nods. âYou wouldnât have survived me.â
âI'm sure I would have been scared.â You smile faintly.
Jungkook huffs a quiet laugh, the tension easing just a fraction.
âI donât think I wouldâve blamed you,â you say with a shrug.
Jungkookâs smile fades. Not completely, but enough that something more thoughtful settles in. He watches you for a second, like heâs trying to decide whether to say something else, but he doesnât.
âYeah,â he says instead and you shift your weight slightly, arms folding loosely across yourself.
âI don't know if I can be that friend to her again,â you whisper. âHow can I when I don't remember being her?â
Jungkook exhales through his nose, glancing away briefly before looking back.
âYou don't have to be her,â he says. âWe get excited when we see glimpses. We know she's in there, but ⊠weâre just happy our friend is back.â
âI think I would have liked her,â you murmur. âThe old me.â
Jungkook blinks, then his expression softens almost instantly.
âYou do like her,â he says. âYou are her.â
âFeels like Iâm borrowing her life.â You admit and so let a long breath leave you.
âTemporary,â he replies. âYouâll catch up.â
âConfident.â You glance at him, a faint smile pulling at your lips.
âAlways,â he grins, nudging your shoulder lightly.
You both start walking again, slower now. After a few steps, Jungkook glances over.
âHey.â He speaks.
âYeah?â You look at him and he hesitates just a second.
Then shrugs lightly, like heâs brushing it off before it becomes something bigger.
âJustâŠâ he starts, then stops himself. You raise an eyebrow. He shakes his head, smiling instead. âNothing,â he says. âYou just seem more⊠like yourself today.â
You look down at your shoes, scuffed and dusted from the climb.
âI felt different today,â you admit.
âGood,â he says simply.
And thatâs it.
No pushing.
No questions youâre not ready to answer.
Just⊠letting you admit and leaving you alone.
You walk a little further in comfortable silence before he suddenly bumps your shoulder again, lighter this time.
âAlso,â he adds, his grin creeping back. âYou still owe me for making me paint those shirts.â
âAre you the one who made the Suga letters look like theyâre melting?â You scoff.
âThat was intentional.â He argues.
âIt looks haunted,â you say.
âItâs art. You should be the one that appreciates it,â he tells you.
You laugh, easy and unguarded. It was starting to feel normal with them. You were getting used to it.
And you didn't want to lose it.
The backyard is bathed in orange, yellow and pink as the sun starts to drop below the horizon. You sit on the edge of the deck, knees pulled close, arms resting over them, staring at the sky. The colors streak and smear, melting together in a way that feels⊠familiar. Almost like something youâve seen beforeâŠ.but maybe only in a dream.
A soft breeze rustles through the trees. You close your eyes for a moment, letting it linger on your face.
âHey,â a voice calls from the sliding door.
You open your eyes. Corbyn steps onto the deck, sleeves rolled up, phone in hand.
âWhat are you doing out here?â He questions.
âWatching the sunset,â you reply simply and he frowns slightly, taking in the soft glow painting the backyard.
âBy yourself?â He asks.
âWant to watch with me?â You ask, tilting your head toward the horizon.
Corbyn glances toward the sky, then shakes his head.
âIâve got work to finish in my office.â His tone is careful, measured, almost⊠wary and you hesitate, then shrug, letting your gaze drift back to the sky. âOkay, I just⊠wanted to watch it.â You focus on the colors.
âYouâve been acting differently lately.â He studies you for a moment, then crosses his arms.
âIâm just⊠paying attention,â you say softly, refusing to meet his eyes. âThe sunset, I mean. I donât know. I like it.â
Corbynâs brow furrows, his gaze flicking to the horizon and back to you. âYour mother told me⊠about the wedding walkthrough. About you wanting to change something.â He informs you.
âI donât know⊠I just ⊠want to watch the sunset right now. Can't the wedding talk wait?â You shrug lightly, letting your arms rest on your knees.
Corbyn doesn't say anything for a moment. He doesn't sit. He remains standing, a literal shadow cast over the deck, looking at the sunset not as a moment of beauty, but as a ticking clock on his schedule.
ââThe sunset is the same as it was yesterday,â he says, âAnd itâll be the same tomorrow. However, what weâre planning. It has moving parts. When things shift this late⊠it affects more than just us.â âHe takes a step closer. âYour mother is worried youâre having some kind of episode. She thinks the stress of the wedding is triggering something from the accident. She thinks it might be best if we take you to a doctor.â
âYou finally look at him. Really look at him. His hair is perfect. His shirt is a crisp white. He looks like a page from the same catalog as the wedding venue. Coordinated, high-end, and entirelyâŠflat.
ââItâs not an episode, Corbyn. I don't need a doctor,â you say, your voice steadier than you expected. âI just realized Iâve spent the entire wedding process nodding. Iâm tired of nodding.â
âWe agreed on everything months ago. The nodding happened because we were in alignment." âCorbyn exhales.
âI get that you value alignment,â you say slowly, choosing each word. âI do. I really do. But⊠alignment isnât the same as living.â
âLiving?â His voice carries that clinical edge, the kind that weighs every syllable before releasing it. âWeâve built a life thatâs nice and stable. Youâre suggesting⊠what? That we dismantle months of planning that you and your mother did because you want⊠spontaneity?â
âNot dismantle. Maybe make room for moments that arenât dictated by a schedule or a color palette. Moments that are ours, not just approved by a wedding coordinator,â you tell him, making him stiffen.
âAnd what happens when one of these⊠moments⊠goes wrong?â He asks.
âThen we deal with it. Together. Thatâs life. Not a timeline. Not a walkthrough. Life doesnât come in perfect preplanned moments, Corbyn. It comes in laughs, mistakes, and chaos. Sometimes⊠itâs messy.â You explain.
The sun dips lower behind the horizon, painting the sky in darker streaks of orange, yellow and pink. His eyes flick to it briefly before he looks around the backyard like he's trying to comprehend what you are telling him.
âIâm not asking to undo everything. Iâm asking for something to feel like me. Even in small ways. Before itâs all done and perfect and⊠flat." You explain and Corbyn exhales.
âIâm not against that,â he says. âI just donât know if this is where it fits. Not this close to something weâve already committed to.â
You open your mouth, searching for the right words, but he continues, calm, unshakable.
âWeâve signed contracts.â He explains. âEverything is pretty much paid for. You can't just make last minute changes.â
You want to shake your head at him. His certainty is like a wall. You can push against it, but it wonât move.
âSo⊠thereâs no room for me?â You ask and he shakes his head gently. âThereâs room for you. Always, but weddings arenât spontaneous weekends. This moment⊠this day⊠itâs not yours to experiment with. Thereâs a time for unplanned joy. However, it's not when we are this close. You should have said something months ago,â he says.
The truth settles in your chest like a weight. You can feel the pull of your own desires, your need for something raw, but it hits against his own views. You canât win. Not today. Not here. Corbyn exhales one last time.
âWeâll pick this back up later,â he says.
Without waiting for a reply, he turns and walks toward the house. You watch him go until the door closes. Turning back, the sun sinks even lower. A sudden breeze slips past, lifting strands of your hair and grazing your shoulder.
The touch is brief, but it lingers, like a whisper across your skin. A tingle blooms there, faint yet unmistakable. Your body reacts before your mind can catch up, remembering a warmth you donât recognize⊠except in your dream.
The memory of the dream comes flooding back. The brush of lips, the careful, teasing press of someone you couldn't see. Your shoulder tingles again, and the breeze drags a shiver down your spine. You close your eyes for a moment, wishing you could go back to that dream.
When you open them, the sunset stretches on, infinite and unreachable, yet somehow⊠alive.
<Next>
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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Eventual Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
The notification sound is soft, but it might as well be a fire alarm in your cubicle. Youâre halfway through typing a claim summary when your phone buzzes against the desk.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
You glance down.
Unknown Group Chat
Your eyebrows knit. Before you can even process that, the phone vibrates again.
And again.
And again.
âWedding emergency?â Leah asks, eyeing the vibrating phone as she swivels her chair toward you.
You pick it up and the preview alone makes your stomach flip.
Yura added you to âOperation: Find Her Brain Cells.â
Your eyes widen. You don't know if you want to be shocked or laugh.
âOh no,â you say, making Leah lean across the divider instantly.
âWhat?â She whispers.
You unlock the phone and the messages come flooding in.
Operation: Find Her Brain Cells
Jimin: Yura.
Jin: This name is incredibly rude.
Taehyung: Itâs accurate though.
Hobi: WAIT SHEâS IN HERE???
Jungkook: HI
Namjoon: Hello.
Yoongi: âŠ
Your phone never stops as Leahâs eyes go wide.
âIs that them?â She whispers and you nod slowly.
âAll eight of them,â you whisper back.
She leans closer like sheâs watching an interesting movie unfold.
âOpen it.â She smiles as you start scrolling.
Yura: Everyone behave.
Jungkook: If we behave then she really wouldn't get to know us again.
Jimin: You started this chaos.
Yura: I regret nothing.
Jin: Change the name.
Yura: No.
Taehyung:Wait, she can see the name right?
Yura:Yes.
Taehyung: Good.
âOh my god.â Leah clamps a hand over her mouth.
Your phone buzzes again.
Hobi: HI
Jimin: That was aggressive.
Hobi: I PANICKED
Hobi: I didn't know what to say with everyone in here.
Yura: Breathe, Hobi.
Hobi: I AM BREATHING
âI love her already,â Leah whispers.
You scroll again.
Namjoon: Please ignore the chaos above.
Jin: HEY
Jin:I was respectful
Yura:You sent three selfies already.
Jin:They were good selfies.
Taehyung:They were the same selfie.
Jin: Different angles and I'm not eating. You're welcome.
Three photos appear.
All of them are Jin, pouting dramatically.
âHe sent a selfie immediately?â Leah asks, choking on a laugh.
âYes.â You nod while nodding your head.
Your phone buzzes again.
Jungkook: Why isnât she saying anything
Jimin: Because youâre all screaming
Yura: Give her a second
Taehyung: She left
Yura: She did not leave
Yoongi: You scared her
Yura: Exactly why I told you all to behave
Jungkook: Babe You named the chat Find Her Brain Cells
Yura: Because clearly none of you have any either.
âThis is incredible.â Leah presses her lips together to stop laughing.
You finally type. Your thumbs hover nervously.
You: Hi.
The chat explodes instantly.
Hobi: Hi
Jungkook: HI
Taehyung:hello
Jin:HELLO
Jimin: Please ignore them.
Namjoon:Hello. I hope your day is going well.
Yoongi:hi
âI feel like Iâm watching a zoo enclosure.â Leah leans back slowly.
Your phone buzzes again.
Yura: Are you at work?
You: Yeah.
Yura: Okay good.
Jungkook: why is that good
Yura: Because it means she hasn't run away from us yet.
Jimin: That's mean
Yura: Have you met them?
âSheâs my favorite.â Lean continues to whisper, her eyes never leaving your phone.
Your phone buzzes again.
Hobi:WAIT
Hobi:did you keep it on?
Your breath hitches and Leah notices immediately.
âWhat?â She whispers. âWhat did you keep on?â
You stare at the message. Your fingers slowly slide your sleeve up just enough to see the bracelet.
Orange. Blue. Green.
Your phone buzzes again.
Hobi:the bracelet
Hobi: did you keep it on?
Yura: Hobi stop pressuring her
Hobi:I AM NOT PRESSURING
Jimin: You absolutely are.
Across the cubicle wall Leahâs eyes sparkle.
âOh this is getting interesting,â she says.
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard once more.
You: Yeah. It's still on.
The chat goes silent.
For exactly three seconds.
Hobi: đ„č
Jimin: oh boy
Taehyung: here we go
Jin: HOBI DONâT CRY AT WORK.
Hoseok: I AM NOT CRYING
Yoongi: he is
âThis group chat is a disaster.â Leah is practically bouncing in her seat.
Jungkook: wait
Jungkook: Does that mean youâre open to hanging out more.
Your stomach flips again and before you can respond, another message appears.
Yura: Relax, tiger.
Jungkook: I AM RELAXED
Yura: You typed that in all caps.
Jungkook: because my phone is broken
Taehyung:your phone is not broken
âWell?â She says quietly, slowly raising an eyebrow.
Your phone sits in your hands.
Seven people watching the typing bubble.
Waiting.
Yura:Ignore them.
Yura:The real question is this.
Yura:Did anything else feel familiar yesterday?
Your fingers pause. Your mind flashes to the photos. Hobi tying the bracelet and the way your wrist felt.
Your phone buzzes again.
Yura: Because if youâre wearing the braceletâŠ
Yura: Your brain might be waking up faster than we thought.
Leah leans over the cubicle wall again. Her eyes narrow dramatically.
âOh,â she whispers. âThis is really ramping up.â
Jin: Alright.
The typing bubbles multiply instantly.
You donât even have time to respond before the next message appears.
Jin:Iâve made a decision.
Taehyung: thatâs never good
Jungkook: what decision
Hobi: why are you like this?
Then Jin sends another message.
Jin: Iâm taking her out.
You blink and Leahâs mouth drops open.
âOh my god!â She whisper yells as your phone EXPLODES.
Jungkook: WHAT?
Taehyung: Excuse me???
Hobi: that's not fair
Jimin: You canât just declare that.
Jin: I absolutely can.
Taehyung: who voted for this?
Jungkook: NO ONE VOTED
Hobi: when was the vote?
âThis is the best day of my life.â Leah grabs your arm.
More messages flood in.
Jimin: You canât just take her somewhere without asking.
Jin: I just did.
Taehyung: thatâs not how asking works
Jungkook: this is suspicious
Hoseok:very suspicious
Jin:I am the oldest.
Three typing bubbles appear instantly.
Taehyung: that doesnât mean anything
Jungkook:it means nothing
Hobi:literally nothing
Jin replies without hesitation.
Jin: It means everything.
âHeâs pulling rank.â Leah whispers, making you nod faintly.
Jin: Also.
Jin: Iâm taking her somewhere special.
Jungkook: NO
Taehyung:absolutely not
Hobi: Where?
âI cannot believe this is happening.â Leah is gripping the cubicle wall now.
Jungkook: I have ideas for places
Taehyung:me too
Hobi: I literally have a LIST
Jimin: Why do you have a list?
Hobi: I AM PREPARED
Then Jimin adds another message.
Jimin: Jin you cannot just kidnap her.
Jin:Itâs not kidnapping if she agrees and she will agree.
âOh this man is confident.â Leah gasps dramatically.
Your phone buzzes again.
Taehyung: this is favoritism
Jungkook: seriously
Hobi: I OBJECT
Finally a message appears from someone who hasnât spoken in a minute.
Namjoon: Statistically speaking, letting one person spend time with her at a time may help trigger memories more effectively.
Namjoon: She won't be overwhelmed
The chat pauses.
âDid he just bring science into the argument?â Leah asks.
Yoongi: Heâs right.
Yoongi:Everyone back off.
Taehyung: you two are traitors
Taehyung: we are not overwhelming
Jimin: Honestly⊠it might not be a bad idea.
âWow. Mutiny.â Leah gasps and you laugh a little.
Yura: Iâm not against it either.
Jungkook:BABE!
Taehyung: betrayal
Yura: Sheâs a grown adult.
Yura: She can decide if she wants to go with Jin.
Your phone goes quiet for half a second.
Jin:Exactly.
Jin: So.
Jin: Do you want to go somewhere with me, Y/N?
Leah slowly turns her head toward you. Her eyes are huge.
âPlease say yes,â she whispers.âI HAVE to know now.â
Your phone rests in your hands.
Eight people watching the typing bubble across the chat screen.
Jungkook is ready to riot.
Taehyung and Hoseok are ready to protest.
Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, and Yura are suspiciously calm.
And JinâŠ
He's waiting patiently.
Like he already knows the answer.
The bakery sits on the corner exactly the way Jin described it. Warm light spills from the windows, soft and golden against the late afternoon street. The small wooden sign above the door sways slightly in the breeze.
You hesitate for a moment outside. Something about the place makes you stop midstep. Although you had to use the directions Jin gave you to get here. It feels familiar. You've walked through these doors before.
You know you have.
A little bell jingles overhead as you open the doors. You step inside slowly, scanning the room and then you see them. Jin is sitting in a booth by the big window. One arm is draped along the backrest like heâs claimed the entire space as his kingdom.
Next to him you see Yoongi. You stop for a second. Heâs sitting on the same side of the booth, angled slightly toward the door like heâs been watching it. His hoodie sleeves are pushed up just enough to show his wrists, and his hands are wrapped around a coffee cup. The moment your eyes meet his, he straightens a little. Jin glances up next. His whole face lights up instantly.
âThere she is!â Jin exclaims, making several people in the bakery glance over.
You laugh awkwardly and walk over to the table.
âHi,â you say.
âHi,â Jin replies brightly.
âHey.â Yoongi gives a small nod.
You slide into the empty seat across from them. Up close, you notice something about Yoongi. He looks⊠a little tense.
Not unfriendly.
Just slightly stiff in the shoulders, like he isnât entirely sure what to do with himself. You glance between them.
âI didnât realize this was a three-person outing,â you say. âI think the rest of your friends will have a fit after that group chat.â
âOur friends.â Jin immediately points at you.
âWhat?â You blink
âOur friends,â he repeats, like itâs obvious. âYou donât get demoted just because your memory decided to take a vacation.â
Your mouth opens slightly, but nothing comes out. Beside him, Yoongi nods once.
âTheyâre yours too,â Yoongi says, his tone is quiet.
âAnyway,â Jin continues, clapping his hands once. âThey would be absolutely losing their minds right now if they knew, but they don't.â You laugh softly at that. âSo, before we enjoy these delicious pastries on the table. I have brought you items of the past that you seek.â
You watch as Jin and Yoongi carefully move the sweets off to the sides of the table to make room for a small canvas bag. Jin smiles at you before reaching in and pulling out a camera. Your eyes widen as he hands it to you.
âI charged it and put new film in for you,â Jin says. âIt still works.â
You turn the camera over in your hands, fingers brushing along the edges like youâre trying to remember something just out of reach. You nod slowly and very unsurely.
âHow do youâŠâ you trail off looking at the device.
The strap tangles awkwardly around your arm. You fumble slightly, trying to adjust it. Across from you, Yoongi leans forward without thinking.
âHere.â Yoongi's hands come up, gentle but sure as they close over yours. âNot like that,â he murmurs. âYouâll block the lens.â
His fingers guide yours into place.
Thumb here.
Index finger there.
âLike this,â he says.
Your breath catches. Itâs such a small thing. However, the way he does it. It feels like heâs done it a hundred times before. For a second, neither of you moves. Then he pulls his hands back quickly, clearing his throat as he leans away again.
âThere.â He smiles quickly at you.
âThanks.â You stare down at the camera.
âMm.â He hums in reply.
Jin watches the entire exchange with narrowed eyes. Then very casually he reaches for a cookie. You lift the camera instinctively.
âDonâtâŠâ Jin starts.
Click-whir
Jin freezes mid-bite. His eyes are wide as he stares at you, cookie halfway in his mouth.
You lower the camera slowly.
âOh no.â He groans.
You look down as the photo begins to slide out from the camera. Yoongi snorts beside him. Jin groans immediately, dragging a hand down his face.
âUnbelievable. I bring you memories, and this is how you repay me?â He questions.
You reach up, carefully pulling the photo the rest of the way out.
âItâs not my fault,â you say, trying not to laugh. âYou were sneaking it.â
âI was taking a small nibble.â He defends himself.
âWith your whole mouth?â Yoongi mutters and you laugh, shaking your head as the image slowly starts to develop.
âDonât even think about it.â Jin leans forward, squinting at it.
âOh, this is bad.â You tilt it slightly, watching the colors come in.
âItâs worse than I expected.â Yoongi leans in just enough to look.
âYou used to do this all the time.â Jin points at both of you accusingly.
âI think Iâm starting to understand why.âYou grin despite yourself.
âThatâs permanent.â He gestures at the photo while shaking his head.
You glance down at it again, the image now fully clear.
âYeah,â you say, smiling. âIt is.â
âBetrayed. In high resolution.â Jin slumps back dramatically against the booth.
Yoongi huffs a quiet laugh.
The playful tension over the Polaroid lingers, but Jin isn't finished. He reaches back into the small canvas bag, his expression shifting from theatrical drama to something much more careful.
"The camera isn't the only thing I have," Jin says, his voice dropping just a bit. "I found these in the junk drawer when we were helping Yura... well, when we were looking for your essentials."
He pulls out a heavy, tangled cluster of metal and acrylic. As he sets them on the wooden table, the clink-clink-clink of the metal rings hitting the surface sounds louder than it probably was.
Keychains.
Dozens of them. A mini Rubix Cube. A bowling pin. A rainbow colored heart. A musical note. Taking a hold of the mess, your fingers reach out instinctively. They brush against a small, silver-plated piano key and a plastic peach.
The moment your skin touches the cold metal, the bakery walls seem to blur and stretch. The smell of yeast and sugar is replaced by the scent of stale coffee and pine-scented air freshener.
Youâre tilted back in a passenger seat taking in the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of tires over a bumpy road. Yoongi is driving. One hand is draped casually over the top of the steering wheel, the other resting on the center console right next to yours. Heâs wearing a beanie, his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, but the corner of his mouth is quirked up.
You look back laughing, windows down while your hair blows in your face. Jungkookâs head is thrown back, laughing while Yura collapses into giggles against his chest.
âŠ. And hanging on the rearview mirror are these exact keychains, jingling every time the car hits a bump.
The memory snaps like a rubber band.
Youâre back in the booth, your hand still clutching the tangled mess of keychains so hard the metal edges are digging into your palm. Across from you, the sunlight is still spilling over the table, but the world feels a little less solid than it did a minute ago.
You gasp, a sharp, ragged intake of air that makes Yoongi set his coffee cup down with a sudden thud. You blink rapidly and look down at the keychains in your hand.
"Hey," Yoongi says, his voice low and urgent. He doesn't reach for you this time, but he leans in, his eyes searching yours. "You okay? You went pale."
Jinâs hand freezes mid-air, he looked like whatever he wanted to say died on his lips as he watches the way youâre staring at the silver piano key.
"I..." You swallow hard, your voice sounding small and distant even to your own ears. "We were in a car and Yoongi was driving. You had a beanie on. Jungkook and Yura were in the backseat⊠laughing."
Jin looks at Yoongi, and for a fleeting second, thereâs a look of pure, heartbreaking relief on Yoongiâs face, a look he quickly tries to mask by looking down at the table.
"Yeah," Yoongi murmurs, his thumb tracing the rim of his cup. "I was always the designated driver. Mainly because I didn't trust Jungkook not to drive us into a ditch while he was busy singing."
"You always claimed to get car sick if you rode in the back," Jin adds softly, his gaze lingering on the way your hand is still trembling.
You look down at the keychains, the rainbow heart shining in the light. They aren't just trinkets anymore.
"Where did we go?" You ask, looking up at them and Jin gives you a real smile.
"Everywhere we could find a reason to go. Now," he says, gently nudging the tray of pastries toward you. "Eat something. Your brain needs the sugar if itâs going to keep doing... whatever it just did."
Yoongi watches you for a beat longer than necessary, his eyes scanning your face as if he's wanting to tell you more. He sees the way youâre still clutching the piano key, your knuckles a little white and shakes his head.
ââIâm going to grab you a drink,â he says, his voice sounding a little too steady. âJinâs talking too much. You're going to need something to wash down his ego.â
ââHey!â Jin protests, though heâs already waving Yoongi away with a dismissive hand.
âAs Yoongi pushes out of the booth and heads toward the counter. âJin waits until Yoongi is out of earshot, leaning his elbows on the table. The playful aura doesn't entirely slip away, but it softens into something warmer, more private.
ââYouâre looking around the place like youâre trying to remember the floor plan,â Jin says softly, drawing your attention back.
ââI... I know Iâve been here,â you murmur, letting your eyes roam around. âThe sign, the light... it feels like a dream I had a long time ago.â
âThatâs because this was our bunker. Whenever the chaos around everyone got to be too muchâŠand believe me, with the others, itâs always too much. You and I would stage a âsupply run.ââ âJin nods, his gaze drifting to the window.
âHe chuckles, a low, private sound.
ââWeâd tell them we were going for snacks or to pick up a package, but weâd end up right here in this exact booth. Weâd sit here for hours.â âHe reaches out, tapping the wooden table. ââYou told me a lot of your fears here. Secrets you weren't ready to tell the others. Iâm the big brother to the rest of them, but here? We were just two people hiding from the world with a tray of sugar.â
âWhat was I afraid of?â You ask quietly and he smiles sadly.
âYou were afraid your parents would never come around and accept the decisions you were making,â he says, making you blink rapidly at him. âYou were so happy. You were afraid that your happiness meant nothing to them.â
âBefore you can respond, a shadow falls over the table. Yoongi is back, balancing two napkins and a tall, condensation-beaded cup.
âHe sets it down directly in front of you.
âItâs a pale, creamy tan, swirls of dark gold caramel bleeding into the white milk, topped with a dusting of cinnamon thatâs already starting to sink into the ice.
ââIced vanilla caramel latte,â Yoongi says shortly, sliding back into his seat. âExtra ice.â
âI drink dark roast,â you say automatically as you stare at the cup in confusion.
Jin and Yoongi give each other a look.
âNo, you don't,â Yoongi says.
âYou hate dark roast,â Jin says. âYou always said it tastes like dirt.â
You look from the golden, swirling latte to the two men watching you. For some strange reason you were nervous. You didn't know anything other than dark roast. The dark roast that was chosen for you.
"I... Iâve been drinking dark roast for years," you whisper, feeling a strange sense of betrayal toward your own taste buds.
You reach for the straw. The plastic suddenly feels foreign against your thumb. You take a sip. The rush of sweetness hits first. The vanilla and buttery caramel is followed by the espresso. It doesn't taste like a new drink. It tastes like Sunday mornings. It tastes like comfort. It tastes like it could be⊠home.
A small, involuntary hum escapes your throat.
"See?" Jin says, leaning back with a triumphant smirk. "The 'dark roast' phase was clearly a symptom of your temporary insanity. Welcome back to the side of deliciousness."
Yoongi doesn't smirk. He just watches the way your shoulders finally relax, the tension leaving your frame as the familiar sugar hits your system.
"Who makes you drink roast?" Yoongi asks quietly.
You look up at him, straw in mouth. You don't want to answer him. You don't want to admit that you're too weak to speak up and you rather let people make choices for you than rock the boat.
Thankfully, you don't have to answer.
As if on cue, your phone vibrates against the wood of the table.
Operation: Find Her Brain Cells
Jungkook: I BET JIN IS AT THE BAKERY.
Taehyung: THE BAKERY??
Hobi: HE SENTIMENTAL OF COURSE HE TOOK HER THERE.
Jimin: Knock it off
Yoongi: Stay where you are. Weâre busy.
Jungkook: Yoongi YOUâRE THERE TOO?!
Taehyung: DOUBLE BETRAYAL.
Hobi: I would have never suspected that
Jin: [Photo Attached]
You look up just in time to see Jin holding his phone high, capturing a photo of you holding the latte, the keychains scattered on the table, and a very grumpy-looking Yoongi in the background.
Jin: She likes the latte more than she likes you guys. Sorry, I don't make the rules.
The chaos of the chat feels light and distant compared to the look Yoongi is giving you now. He ignores his own phone as it blows up with notifications.
"Does it feel real yet?" He asks. Heâs not talking about the drink or the bakery. Heâs looking at the pile of keychains sitting in the middle of the table.
"It feels..." You pause, searching for the word. "Like Iâm looking at a map of a city that I haven't visited in years. I recognize some the landmarks, but I don't know the street names yet."
Jin reaches over, gently sliding the blurry Polaroid of him eating the cookie toward you.
"Don't worry about the street names," he says, his voice losing the teasing edge for a moment. "As long as you're in the car, we'll do the driving. Even if Yoongi won't let anyone else touch the wheel."
Yoongi nudges the piano key keychain with his index finger, sliding it closer to your hand.
"We have a lot of landmarks," he murmurs. "Whenever you're ready for them."
You look down at your wrist. The orange, blue, and green threads of the bracelet Hobi tied there. Then at the latte. Then at the two men who seem to know the "real" you better than you know yourself.
"I think," you say, taking another long sip of the vanilla-caramel sweetness. "I'm ready for a few more landmarks."
The clink of silverware against plates fills the space between conversations.
Itâs not quiet.
Not really.
Your mother has never allowed silence at the dinner table.
ââŠand the florist confirmed the final arrangement this morning,â sheâs saying, dabbing her napkin lightly at the corner of her mouth. âWhite peonies, garden roses, and a touch of eucalyptus. Itâs elegant without being overwhelming.â
âThat sounds nice.â You nod automatically.
Across from you, Corbyn sits relaxed, posture easy, one arm resting along the back of your chair. He hasnât said much, but when your mother speaks, he listens.
Attentive.
Present.
Perfect.
âWeâre down to forty-eight days,â she continues, her tone gently firm. âWhich means final confirmations need to go out this week. Seating charts, catering headcount, transportation logisticsâŠâ
âI can help with that,â you offer quickly.
âOh, sweetheart, itâs already handled.â Her smile softens immediately.
Of course it is.
âRight.â You nod.
Your father glances between you and Corbyn, a small, satisfied smile settling on his face.
âItâs coming together beautifully,â he says. âYou two should be excited.â
You look up. Corbyn meets your eyes this time and he smiles.
Warm.
Easy.
Certain.
âI am,â he says. âItâs going to be a really good day.â
Thereâs nothing wrong with the words.
Nothing missing.
And yet ⊠something is missing. You just can't put your finger on what it is.
âThe final venue walk-through is coming up. Sweetheart, Iâll need you there for early final timing confirmations.â Your mother flips a page in her notebook.
âOf course,â you say without hesitation. âJust send me the time and Iâll make it work.â
âHave you two decided on the music for the first dance?â Your mother asks.
Your fork pauses.
âWe talked about a few options,â you say and Corbyn nods beside you, completely at ease.
You wonder what his favorite song is?
You don't even think you have a favorite song?
âWeâll pick something this week,â he says smoothly. âWhatever feels right.â
Whatever feels right.
The phrase echoes in your head because youâre not entirely sure what that is anymore. Your mother seems satisfied with that answer, already moving on to the next detail.
Cake.
Seating.
Final fittings.
Forty-eight days.
The number is drilled in the back of your mind.
Dinner ends with soft smiles and practiced ease. Chairs slide back and your mother gathers her notebook.
âIâll email you both the updated timeline tonight,â she says. âJust take a look when you can.â
âSounds good,â Corbyn replies easily.
âYeah.â You nod.
Outside, the air is cooler compared to the stuffiness you just had to endure. The door clicks shut behind you, muting the planning and expectations.
For a moment, you just stand there.
âWant to grab coffee?â Corbyn asks.
His tone is light.
Casual.
Like this is something youâve done a hundred times before.
âSure,â you say with a small smile.
The drive to the coffee shop is quiet, but itâs the comfortable silence that defines your relationship with Corbyn. He drives with one hand on the wheel, the other occasionally reaching over to pat your knee. A gesture that is meant to be loving but feels, for the first time, like heâs trying to keep a lid on a simmering pot.
He doesn't pull into a small, tucked-away corner of a cozy bakery. He pulls into The Gilded Bean, a massive, high-ceilinged industrial space in the center of the commercial district. Itâs loud, bright, and smelling of coffee beans and ambition.
"I know youâve had a long day with the claims," Corbyn says, his voice pitched perfectly to be heard over the roar of the industrial milk steamer. "A little caffeine boost before we look at the seating charts?"
"Sounds good," you murmur, feeling the weight of the group chat still buzzing in your pocket.
The line is long, but Corbyn doesn't seem to mind. He stands with his shoulders squared, looking every bit the successful partner your parents brag about. When you finally reach the counter, the barista looks exhausted, tapping a pen against the register.
Corbyn doesn't look at the menu.
He doesn't have to.
"Hi there," Corbyn says with that easy, charismatic smile. "Weâll do a Large Nitro Cold Brew for me, black. And for the lady..."
He turns to you, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Itâs the 'I know you' look. The one that used to make you feel seen, but now feels like a set of handcuffs.
"Sheâll have the Signature Dark Roast. Double shot of espresso, no cream, no sugar." He gives your shoulder a little squeeze, turning back to the barista to pull out his wallet. "Actually, make that a venti. Sheâs had a stressful morning."
The barista starts to punch it in.
The memory of the bakery is right at the front of your mind. The smell of yeast, the soft jingle of the bell, and the way the cinnamon-dusted foam felt on your tongue. It surges up so sharply you swear you can feel it. You can almost feel Yoongi and Jinâs eyes on you, steady and silent, waiting for you to remember yourself.
"Wait," you say.
The word is sharper than you intended. Both the barista and Corbyn blink at you. Corbynâs brow furrows just a fraction, a rare break in his perfect composure.
"Everything okay?" He asks, placing a hand on your back.
"I don't want the dark roast," you say. Your voice is steadier now. "It tastes like... dirt."
"Since when?â Corbyn laughs, a small puzzled sound.
"SinceâŠ. always," you say, stepping forward so youâre the one facing the barista. You don't look at Corbynâs confused expression. "Can I get an Iced Vanilla Caramel Latte? With extra ice. Please."
The silence from Corbyn is deafening. Itâs not an angry silence. Itâs worse. Itâs the silence of someone who has carefully filed you away under a specific label and just realized the label is peeling off.
The barista shrugs and changes the order. Corbyn pays, his movements a little more mechanical than usual.
When the drinks come out, your latte is exactly the same shade of creamy, swirling tan as the one Yoongi bought you. You take a sip. The vanilla hits. The caramel follows. The ice clinks against the plastic. It's a sharp, rhythmic sound that matches the heartbeat in your ears.
"A caramel latte," Corbyn repeats as you walk toward a high-top table. He stares at your drink like itâs a stranger sitting between you. "Thatâs... new. Is this a pregnancy craving or something? Because if it is, your mom is going to lose her mind."
He says it as a joke. However, you know he's trying to make some sort of logic out of your sudden change in taste. But the mention of your mother and the assumption that the only reason youâd change is because you're pregnant makes the deliciousness of the drink turn slightly...nasty.
"No," you say, looking at the golden swirls. "It's not a pregnancy craving. I think itâs just... what I actually like."
Corbyn sips his black cold brew, his eyes searching yours. Heâs looking for the version of you that fits the peonies and the seating charts.
"Well," he says, leaning in, his voice dropping to that supportive, perfect register. "If you like it, I like it. I'll try to start to remember to drop your new specialty coffee off to you in the mornings at work."
Heâs being agreeable. Heâs being supportive. Heâs being perfect.
BecauseâŠ. of course he is.
Your phone buzzes in your lap.
Operation: Find Her Brain Cells
Yoongi: You probably left your keychains on purpose but I have them
You look at the screen, then at Corbyn, who is currently opening a PDF of the wedding guest list on his tablet.
"So," Corbyn says, tapping the screen. "About Table 4..."
You: Thank you
You: Can you hold onto them for me?
The reply comes quickly.
Yoongi: Yeah.
Simple.
He didn't make you feel guilty over it.
Your phone explodes.
Jungkook: WHY does YOONGI get to hold them
Taehyung: yeah excuse me???
Hobi: I CAN HOLD THE KEYCHAINS
Jungkook: I also have hands
Taehyung: I have TWO hands actually
Jimin: this is not about who has hands
Hobi: IT SHOULD BE
You blink, staring at the screen as the messages.
Jungkook: I would take very good care of them
Taehyung: same
Hobi: I would literally guard them with my life
Yura: You guys already have some of her stuff. Relax.
The chat stutters for half a second.
Jimin: sheâs right
Taehyung: thatâs different
Jungkook: yeah that doesnât count
Namjoon:I feel so bad for her right now
Jin: none of you are responsible enough for keychain custody
Jungkook: says the man who just got caught eating mid-photo
Hobi: Again
Taehyung: justice for the keychains
Your lips press together, fighting a smile. The phone keeps buzzing in your hand. It's loud enough now that you canât ignore it.
âHey,â Corbyn says.
You look up to find him watching you. He's not upset.
Just⊠curious.
âWhatâs going on?â He asks.
Your stomach dips.
Another buzz.
You lock your screen a little too fast.
âNothing,â you say quickly.
âThat didnât look like nothing.â His head tilts slightly and you let out a small, breathy laugh.
âItâs just a group chat from work,â you say, waving it off. âSome of the girls. Theyâre being⊠loud.â
Another buzz.
You donât look down this time. Corbyn studies you for a moment
then smiles.
âAh,â he says. âWork group chats are dangerous.â Just like that he lets it go. He turns his attention back to the tablet. âSo,â he continues, tapping the screen, âTable 4âŠâ
Your phone buzzes again in your hand.
And this timeâŠ. you donât need to look to know theyâre still arguing over something small that somehow feels important.
Because for them it is.
And for youâŠ..
itâs starting to be.
The house is quiet, there's no laughing about your night out. No funny stories being swapped. Just the two of you in your too quiet of a home.
Corbyn moves through the pre-sleep routine with a practiced, rhythmic grace. He sets his watch on the night stand, smoothing the duvet, checking the alarm. He is a man of habits, and usually, those habits make you feel good.
Good that you two have a routine that you can count on. However, tonight, they feel like a countdown. A countdown to what the rest of your life will be like.
"Big deadlines coming up," Corbyn says, his voice muffled as he pulls his shirt over his head. He tosses it into the hamper and turns to you with that gentle, supportive smile. "Final meeting with the caterer, final venue walk through. I know you're tired, but weâre almost at the finish line."
"Yeah," you murmur, sitting on the edge of the bed. "The finish line."
He leans down, pressing a soft, dry kiss to your forehead. Itâs a polite kiss. A "goodnight, teammate" kiss.
"Sleep well. You need the rest." He whispers.
When the lights go out, the darkness feels ...too dark. You lie there, the phantom weight of the keychains still pressing into your hand, until exhaustion finally drags you under into a nice deep sleep.
The air is salt-heavy and cool, but you aren't cold.
The sky is vibrant. The deep purples and burning oranges splash across the sky as the sun goes down below the horizon in front of you. Itâs the kind of sunset that feels like an ending and a beginning all at once.
You are standing on a pier, the wood rough beneath your feet, and someone is behind you.
Warm. Solid.
His arms are wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you back against his chest. Itâs not a polite hold. Heâs tucking you into the space where you fit perfectly, his chin resting on your shoulder as the wind whips your hair across your face.
Youâre laughing. A real, breathless sound that vibrates in your whole body. You feel light. You feel like youâve never known a seating chart in your life.
The man shifts. You canât see his face. The sun is too bright, the shadows too long, but you feel the vibration of a deep, gravelly chuckle against your spine.
"I told you the view was better from here," he murmurs.
The voice is a low rumble and so very familiar.
He tilts his head, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His breath is warm against your skin, a sharp contrast to the ocean breeze. Then, he presses a lingering, firm kiss to the curve of your shoulder.
Itâs slow. Deliberate.
It feels like a promise.
Your eyes snap open.
The room is pitch black. Beside you, Corbyn is breathing deeply, his back turned, a mountain of expensive linen between you.
You lie perfectly still, your heart hammering against your ribs like a trapped bird. The transition from the warmth of the pier to the chill of the bedroom is jarring.
Your hand moves instinctively, fingers trembling as they reach up to touch your shoulder.
Right there.
The skin is cool to the touch, but the sensation is still there. A ghost of warmth. A lingering pressure. The memory of a laugh that didn't belong to the man sleeping next to you.
You roll onto your side, staring at the glowing red numbers of the digital clock.
3:14 AM.
The silence of the house isn't peaceful anymore.
The red glow of the clock seems to pulse in time with your heart.
Beside you, the bed is steady and still. A perfect, undisturbed lump of high-thread-count sheets. Corbyn hasn't moved. He is a heavy sleeper, a man who doesn't toss or turn, whose dreams never seem to bother him.
But you? You are shaking.
The ghost of that kiss on your shoulder feels more real than the weighted blanket draped over you. You can still hear the phantom echo of that gravelly laugh, a sound that didn't just reach your ears. It reached into the parts of you that are still locked away.
Carefully, you slide your hand under your pillow, your fingers grazing the cold glass of your phone. You don't turn it on. You don't need to. You know the "Operation" is still there waiting for you to wake up.
You realize then that you aren't just at a finish line. Youâre at a crossroads.
One path is lined with white peonies, garden roses, and a man who knows exactly how you should take your coffee. The other path is a tangled mess of keychains, late-night group chats, and a dream of a sunset that feels more like home than this house ever has.
You close your eyes, trying to find that pier again, but the red numbers on the clock just keep ticking forward.
Just like the countdown to your wedding and that scares the hell out of you.
<Next>
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Doubts
You donât say it out loud at first.
It sits in your chest, quiet and stubborn, building slowly in the spaces where he isnât.
Missed calls. Short replies. The way conversations with Min Yoongi feel⊠efficient, lately. Like heâs there, but not really there.
You tell yourself itâs work.
Itâs always work.
Heâs busy. Heâs tired. Heâsâ
Not noticing.
Thatâs the part that stings.
Because you notice everything about him.
The way his shoulders tense when heâs stressed. The way he forgets to eat when heâs deep in a track. The exact tone of his voice when heâs about to say something he thinks might come out wrong.
You notice.
So why doesnât he?
It slips out on accident.
Youâre sitting across from Park Jimin, half-finished drink in your hand, words tumbling out before you can stop them.
âI donât think he actually cares about me.â
Jimin freezes.
Not dramatically. Just enough that you notice.
ââŠwhat?â he says carefully.
You shrug, trying to make it sound smaller than it feels. âI meanâheâs nice. And heâs there sometimes. But it doesnât feel like⊠anything.â
Jimin stares at you like you just said something completely absurd.
âAre we talking about the same Yoongi?â
You huff a quiet, humorless laugh. âSee? Thatâs exactly it. Everyone thinks heâs soââ you gesture vaguely, frustrated ââbut I donât feel it.â
Jimin leans back slowly, studying you.
Then he sighs.
âOkay,â he says, softer now. âI need you to listen to me for a second.â
You frown slightly but nod.
âDo you know how many times heâs asked me if youâve eaten?â
You blink.
âWhat?â
âOr if you got home safe. Or if you seemed off that day.â Jimin tilts his head, watching your reaction carefully. âHe doesnât ask you directly because he thinks heâll bother you.â
That doesnât make sense.
âHe barely texts me.â
âYeah,â Jimin nods. âBecause he rewrites those texts about ten times and then deletes them.â
You stare at him.
âHe thinks everything he says comes out wrong,â Jimin continues. âSo he says less instead of risking it.â
A pause.
âThat doesnât mean he doesnât care.â
Your grip tightens slightly around your glass. âThen why does it feel like he doesnât?â
Jiminâs expression softens.
âBecause heâs bad at showing it in ways youâre used to,â he says simply. âNot because itâs not there.â
Silence settles between you.
âHe stayed up all night last week,â Jimin adds after a moment. âYou know that song he sent you?â
You nod slowly.
âHe scrapped the entire thing three times because he didnât think it was good enough for you.â
Your breath catches.
âThatâsââ you shake your head. âThatâs just his workââ
âItâs not,â Jimin interrupts gently. âNot when it comes to you.â
You donât know what to say to that.
Because suddenly, things start⊠shifting.
Reframing.
The short replies.
The quiet presence.
The way he shows up without announcing it.
Itâs not absence.
Itâs just⊠different.
You find him later that night.
In the studio, of course.
Min Yoongi is hunched over his desk, headphones half-on, completely lost in whatever heâs working on.
You hesitate in the doorway.
Then knock lightly.
He looks up immediately.
And the way his face changes when he sees youâ
Itâs subtle.
But itâs there.
âHey,â he says, pulling the headphones off. âYou okay?â
The question is immediate. Automatic.
Concern, quiet but real, threading through his voice.
You step inside slowly. âYeah.â
A pause.
âYou?â
He shrugs. âFine.â
Of course he is.
You move closer, stopping just beside him. For a second, neither of you speak.
Thenâ
âJimin told me something today.â
Yoongi stiffens slightly.
ââŠwhat did he say?â
You watch him carefully.
âHe said you ask about me.â
A beat.
Yoongi looks away almost immediately, rubbing the back of his neck. âHe talks too much.â
Your chest tightens.
âHe said you rewrite texts,â you add softly.
âOkay, thatâsââ he exhales sharply, a little embarrassed now. âThatâs notââ
âAnd that you stayed up all night on that song.â
He goes quiet.
Completely still.
âI thought you didnât care,â you admit, the words quieter now, stripped of the earlier frustration. âI thought maybe I just⊠mattered less to you than everything else.â
His head snaps up at that.
âThatâs notââ he stops, jaw tightening, searching for the right words and clearly not finding them fast enough. âThatâs not true.â
âI know,â you say quickly. âI thinkâI just didnât understand it.â
Silence.
Heavy, but not tense.
Yoongi exhales slowly, leaning back in his chair, eyes dropping to his hands. âIâm not good at this,â he admits. âYou know that.â
âI do.â
âI donât say things right,â he continues, voice low. âAnd I donâtââ he gestures vaguely ââdo all that stuff people expect.â
âI know.â
Another pause.
âBut I care,â he says finally, looking back at you, something steady and unguarded in his gaze now. âProbably more than I should.â
Your chest aches.
âYou canât tell,â he adds, almost like it frustrates him. âBut itâs there.â
You step closer.
Close enough that he has to tilt his head slightly to keep looking at you.
âI can tell now,â you say softly.
Something in his expression shifts.
Relief, maybe.
Or something quieter.
You reach out, fingers brushing lightly against his wristânot dramatic, not overwhelming. Just⊠there.
He doesnât pull away.
âIf you donât say things right,â you murmur, âthen show me however you do.â
A beat.
Then, slowlyâ
his hand turns under yours, fingers curling just slightly around your hand like heâs testing the shape of it.
Like heâs trying.
âOkay,â he says quietly.
And somehowâ
that feels like more than enough.
MDNIđ
Main Masterlist here
Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Eventual Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
A/N: OkayâŠ.. Tae and Jin's Vocals in Swim âŠ. I CANT!!!!! I'm a puddle of goo on the floor.
Reflection Insurance office hums with its everyday background noise that makes your head ache. Phones ringing, keyboards clacking, pens clicking and someone's obnoxiously loud staplerâŠ. stampling
It was a stark contrast to the warm, dim chaos of the dance studio. Here, everything was categorized, filed, and organized.
âLeah sits at her desk, working away. You were staring at a claim for a minor fender bender, but the text was blurring. All you could see were the sharp pencil strokes of a side profile and glitter pressed into the sky. Especially the way graphite looked like velvet when you shaded the hollow of a cheekbone.
â"Youâre doing it again," Leah says, not looking up from her monitor.
â"Doing what?" You ask with a sigh.
â"Staring off into nothing. Usually, thatâs reserved for Monday mornings or when Corbyn calls to talk about a claim for a client of his." She finally turns her chair, her expression softening. "How are you really doing? After the Yura and Jungkook thing? I know that was a lot to process."
â"Leah," you whisper, leaning forward. âYou look down at your desk. You couldn't lie to her. "I didn't just see Yura and Jungkook."
âLeahâs hands froze over her keyboard. She slides her chair closer, her voice dropping to a cautious murmur.
"What do you mean? Did they follow you? Did someone else show up?" She asks, throwing questions at you.
â"I went to the studio," you admit, the words tumbling out before you could lose your nerve. "The one we first went to. They were all there."
âExplain.âLeah folds her arms and you take a slow breath.
âYura texted me,â you start. âShe said everyone wanted to meet me.â
âAnd you just⊠went?â She asks, making you nod.
âI needed answers.â You explain.
âAnd?â Leah watches you carefully.
Your mind flashes back to the studio instantly.
The warmth.
The teasing.
The way they all looked at you.
âThey knew me,â you say softly and Leahâs posture shifts.
âOf course they did. They were your friends,â she tells you.
âNo,â you shake your head slightly. âI mean they really knew me.â
You glance down at your hands.
âThey knew the way I laugh. The kind of things I used to draw. Stuff we did together,â you tell her.
âOkay.â Leah leans back slowly in her chair, processing.
âI also remembered something.â You rub your temple.
That gets her attention immediately.
âYou remembered something?â She questions.
âYeah.â You nod.
âWhat?â She asks, quietly looking around.
You grab a pen without thinking and pull a sticky note toward you. Leah watches curiously as you draw.Two crooked stick arms. A cape. A tiny S on the chest. You slide the sticky note toward her. Leah squints at it.
âWhat am I looking at?â She asks and you hesitate with a slight grimace.
âA superheroâŠ. of sorts,â you say, making her eyebrow rise.
âThatâs generous,â she laughs, softly.
You exhale softly.
âI drew it for Jungkook,â you explain. âI remembered he kept flexing and wanted me to make him look cool.â
âAnd you gave him⊠this.â She states with her lips twitching and you nod.
âSuper-Koo.â You inform her
âThatâs terrible.â She snorts.
âI know.â You agree. âBut, that's the tattoo he got.â
âBut you remembered it?â She asks, tapping her pen on her chin.
âYeah,â you whisper. âNot everything. It was still a little foggy.â
âThatâs actually huge.â She bites her lip as she studies you carefully.
âI guess.â You shrug your shoulders.
âNo,â she shakes her head. âSeriously. Memory doesnât just come back for no reason.â
âThatâs what Namjoon said.â You say without thinking and she pauses.
âNamjoon?â She asks.
âAnother one of them,â you inform her.
âHow many are there again?â She wonders.
âEight,â you reply as she stares at you.
âYou walked into a room with seven men and a woman connected to your missing memories and you just⊠handled that alone?â She shakes her head at you, making you shrug awkwardly.
âIt wasnât as scary as it sounds.â You try to defend yourself, but Leah looks unconvinced.
âWhat were they like?â She asks you.
Your mind flickers through faces.
Jin being dramatic.
Jimin being respectful of you.
Hobi's smile.
Taehyung arguing about dumplings.
Jungkook staring at you like youâd given him something important.
Namjoon explaining memories like a professor.
Yura watching you carefully.
Yoongi standing quietly by the mirror.
âThey felt familiar,â you admit quietly and Leahâs expression softens.
âThatâs a good sign.â She admits.
âIs it?â You wonder.
âYes,â she says firmly. âIt means you trusted them once.â
You nod slowly. She studies you another moment before her gaze drops to your left hand. The diamond catches the fluorescent lights of the office.
âAnd Corbyn?âLeah sighs softly.
âHe still doesnât know.âYour shoulders sink slightly.
âAbout last night or âŠ?â She trails off.
âAny of it. He thinks I stayed home sick while he had dinner with a client.â You shake your head.
Leah doesnât scold you. She just watches your face carefully.
âHow do you feel about him right now?â She asks gently.
You stare at the ring. The same thought from the studio returns.
Safe.
âHeâs good to me,â you say.
âThat wasnât the question.â She states and you press your lips together.
âHeâs stable.â You try again, saying the next thing that pops in your head.
âThat also doesn't answer the question I asked.â Leah tilts her head.
âI donât know.âYou sigh.
âThatâs okay.â Leah nods slowly.
âIt is?â You glance up at her.
âYeah,â she says simply. âYouâre rediscovering an entire part of your life. Of course things feel messy.â
Relief floods your chest.
âBut,â she adds gently. You knew there would be a but. âJust donât rush decisions while your brain is still catching up.â
âThatâs fair.â You nod slowly.
Leah gives your desk a small tap with the end of her pen.
âMessy is allowed,â she says. âReckless is not.â
âI hear you.â You nod.
The office settles back into its familiar rhythm. Phones ring somewhere down the hall. A printer spits out a stack of paper near reception. Someone laughs in the break room before the sound fades behind a closing door.
Leah turns back to her computer and resumes typing. For a few minutes, you actually try to focus.The claim file on your screen waits patiently. Rear-end collision. Minor damage. Standard paperwork. However, your brain refuses to stay in the present.
It drifts.
Back to the studio.
The mirrors.
The music.
Jungkook staring at you like your ridiculous stick-figure superhero memory meant something.
Namjoon explaining memories like a patient professor.
Yoongi leaning quietly against the mirror.
Your pen stops moving.
âWell this is convenient.â
The familiar voice behind you makes your shoulders stiffen instantly and you quickly cover Super-Koo with your hand. Leahâs typing pauses and you turn in your chair.
Corbyn stands at the edge of your cubicle, one hand resting casually on the divider. His suit is immaculate. Dark navy and tailored perfectly. His tie is loosened just slightly like heâs already had a long morning.
âHey,â he says with a small smile.
âHey.â You smile slightly back.
âMorning, Corbyn.â She says, greeting your fiance politely.
âMorning, Leah.â He nods his head at her before his attention returns to you.
âI had a mediation upstairs,â he explains. âFigured Iâd come say hi while I was here.â
That actually makes sense. His firm handles a lot of the companyâs legal cases. He steps a little closer to your desk.
âYou left pretty fast this morning,â he says casually. âI barely caught a glimpse of you before you were out the door. It's not often you leave before me.â
You remember grabbing your bag quickly. Leaving before your thoughts could spiral back to the studio.
âEarly start,â you say.
âI figured. The coffee pot was still warm when I left.â Corbyn nods easily.
Leah keeps her eyes on her screen, but you know sheâs listening. Corbyn glances down at the paperwork scattered across your desk.
âBusy?â He asks.
âAlways,â you tell him.
He smiles faintly. Then his gaze drifts to your left hand.The diamond sparkles in the light. His expression softens in that familiar way.
âWe should get that cleaned,â he says and you instinctively curl your fingers slightly.
âI think we are supposed to get it cleaned every six months,â you tell him.
âStill,â he shrugs lightly. âI like the way it shines.â Thereâs a small pause just as Corbyn checks his watch. âI should get going. I have another meeting across town.â
âOkay,â you say softly.
He leans down and presses a quick kiss to the side of your head.
Itâs familiar.
Gentle.
Expected.
âIâll see you at home tonight,â he says.
âOkay.â You say again.
âI was thinking we could order from that Thai place you like.â He suggests
âThat sounds good.â You smile up at him.
âPerfect.â He kisses you again. He straightens his jacket and gives Leah a friendly nod.
âNice seeing you.â He says softly.
âYou too,â she replies.
Then he disappears down the hallway. The moment he turns the corner, Leah slowly swivels her chair toward you. She watches you for a moment. Not suspicious. Just thoughtful.You let out a breath you didnât realize you were holding.
âOkay,â she says, smiling lightly.
âWhat?â You rub your temple.
âHe really is ridiculously nice,â she says.
âYeah.â You say softly.
âI mean it,â she continues. âSmart, stable, handsome, remembers what food you like. Itâs honestly a little unfair to the rest of the dating pool.â
âHeâs good to me.â You smile faintly.
âI know.â Leah nods.
She says it simply, without hesitation. Then her gaze drifts to the sticky note sitting under your hand.
Super-Koo.
Her lips twitch.
âHowever,â she adds gently. âYouâre also in the middle of rediscovering part of your life you literally forgot.â
You glance down at the drawing.
âSo things are going to be⊠weird for a bit,â she continues.
âThatâs one word for it,â you whisper and Leah leans back in her chair.
âLook,â she says carefully. âI think Corbyn is great. I think youâre lucky to have him.â
You nod.
âBut figuring out your memories doesnât mean youâre betraying him,â she continues. âIt just means youâre figuring yourself out. So,â she adds casually, turning back toward her keyboard. âIf you ever need to duck out for lunch to meet your mysterious dance-studio memory squadâŠâ
You blink.
âWhat?â You laugh, softly.
âJust give me a heads up.â She shrugs.
âYouâd cover for me?â You ask and Leah glances back at you with a small grin.
âPlease. Half the office disappears for âlunch meetingsâ that last two hours.â She rolls her eyes.
You laugh softly again. Then her expression softens again.
âIâm not helping you hide anything bad,â she says gently. âBut if chasing a memory helps you understand your lifeâŠâ Her eyes flick briefly toward the hallway where Corbyn left. âThatâs something worth figuring out before the wedding.â
You nod slowly. Leah taps your hand on top of the sticky note once.
âSo,â she says as her keyboard starts clacking again. âNext time you need an impromptu lunch, just let me know.â
The next day doesnât feel as chaotic as the studio. Youâre sitting at a small outdoor table behind a quiet cafe on the opposite end of town from Reflection Insurance. The sun filters through a row of trees. A light breeze moves the napkins on the table.
Across from you sit Yura and Jimin.
Jimin has an iced coffee he keeps stirring even though the ice is almost gone. Yura is halfway through a sandwich, but she hasnât taken a bite in a while.
You sit toying with your straw wrapper. Wanting desperately to ask the question that's been sitting in your chest since you met Jimin.
Ever since you left with more questions than answers.
âSo,â you say finally. Both of them look up. You lean forward slightly, folding your hands on the table. âWhy do my parents keep dodging my questions about the accident?â You ask them.
The reaction is instant. Jiminâs spoon stops clinking against the glass. Yuraâs shoulders stiffen just slightly.
And there it is.
Confirmation.
You exhale slowly.
âI mean ⊠you already told me the details of the accident,â you say quickly. âButâŠ.why wouldn't they tell me that you were there, Yura?â
âYou're parents hated us,â Jimin says, setting his coffee down.
The words hang in the air between you. You sit back further in your chair, the casual cafe atmosphere suddenly feeling very distant.
â"Hated?" You repeat, your voice barely audible over the distant sounds of city traffic. "Why would they hate you? I was friends with you. If I was happy, wouldn't they want that?"
âJimin trades a look with Yura. A silent, heavy communication that clearly conveys years of history you are currently missing. He sighs, his fingers suddenly playing with his straw.
â"It wasn't that simple," Yura says. Her eyes are locked on yours, intense and serious. "To your parents, we were a distraction. They had a trajectory mapped out for you. They wanted a nice career, stability, expectations that didn't include a group of people who lived for art, late nights, and ⊠well, spontaneity. When things got serious with you becoming an art teacher, when we became your support system, they saw it as us pulling you away from the 'real world' they wanted you in."
âYou kind of just avoided going home at all costs,â Jimin tells you and you tilt your head.
âI did?â You ask, making them nod their heads.
âYou even moved out of their house and stayed with me for a bit.â Yura smiles.
âDid I move back home after I lived with you?â You furrow your brows as you look at her. âYou said I lived with you for a bit. I must have moved back home.â
Yura's eyes widen for a moment and Jimin pinches her arm.
âNo, you got âŠyour⊠own place.â She smiles awkwardly at you.
âHow did I afford that?â You whisper more to yourself.
âWe tried to visit you in the hospital after the accident,â Jimin says, changing the subject. You look back up at him. âYou parents wouldn't let us in your room.â
âThen eventually, the guys were told that if they kept showing up,â Yura looked at you sadly. âThat your parents would have security kick them out of the hospital.â
âWhat!â You exclaim and quickly lower your voice when a couple at the next table glance over.
âWhat?!â you repeat again, quieter this time.âSo⊠what happened after that?â
Neither of them answers immediately.Jimin slowly stirs the last melting ice in his glass.
âWe waited,â he says finally.
âFor what?â you ask.
âFor you to call,â Yura replies softly.
âBut I didnât.â You state.
They both shake their heads.
âWe figured you needed time to recover,â Jimin says. âHead injuries can take a while.â
âSo you just⊠gave up?â You ask.
âNo,â Yura says quickly. âWe kept checking the hospital.â
âWhat do you mean?âYour brows knit together.
âOne day we went back and asked about you.â Jiminâs jaw tightens slightly.
âAnd?â You ask.
âThey said youâd already been discharged.â He informs you and your breath catches. The breeze lifts the corner of a napkin on the table, trying to send it tumbling. âSo we tried calling your parents,â Jimin adds. âEvery number we had.â
Your fingers slowly tighten around the edge of the table.
âThey blocked us,â Yura says.
âBlocked you?â You repeat.
âPhones. Emails. Everything,â Jimin nods. âIt was like you all disappeared.â
You stare at them.
âWe didnât know where you went,â Yura says softly.
âWe finally had enough and drove by your parents house,â Jimin continues.
âAnd?â You ask with your heart pounding in your chest.
âTheyâd moved,â he says.
Your stomach drops.
âWe asked neighbors and they didn't know,â Yura adds. âNo explanation.â
You feel like the ground beneath you shifted slightly.
âSo⊠you didnât know what happened to me?â You question.
They both shake their heads.
âWe didnât even know you lost your memories,â Jimin says quietly.
âIt was like one day you were part of our lives,â Yura says gently.
âAnd the next day,â Jimin finishes. âYou were just⊠gone.â
You stare down at your hands.
Your mind flashesâŠ.
The studio.
Music echoing through mirrors.
Taehyung laughing.
Jungkook flexing dramatically.
Namjoon explaining something.
Yoongi leaning quietly by the wall.
Hobi smiling.
Jin arguing.
All of them were apparently part of a life that simply⊠vanished.
Your fingers unconsciously twist the ring on your hand.
Yura notices.
âYou know,â Yura says. âWe have more than just your sketchbook.â
âYou do?â You question.
âYeah,â Jimin agrees with Yura. âWe didn't want your parents to try and take some of your things. So, after they banned us. We split up your stuff and kept it safe until you came back.â
âYou just never came back until now,â Yura tells you. âI have a lot of your old clothes, but the guys all have small things. Do you want to start unlocking your life?â
Your eyes dart between them.
This was way deeper than you ever thought and there was no way you were stopping now.
The walk up the three flights of stairs to Hobi's apartment feels longer than it actually is. By the time he unlocks the door, your heart is already thumping. Partly from the climb, partly from the sheer nerves of unlocking another part of your life.
As the door swings open, Hobi stares at you. Kind of stunned ⊠kind of happy ⊠kind of ⊠you're not sure.
âHi,â you say.
âHi,â he says.
âHi,â you say again.
âHi,â he says and then blinks rapidly. âOh, come in.â
Hobi steps aside quickly, like his brain is still catching up with the fact that youâre actually standing there.
âRight. Yes. Come in,â he repeats, sweeping an arm dramatically toward the apartment.
You step inside.
The first thing you notice is the light. The whole place is bright in that cozy, lived-in way. The sun is pouring through wide windows, bouncing off mirrors mounted on one wall. A speaker sits on a low shelf near the corner, wires trailing behind it. The faint scent of laundry detergent and something citrusy hangs in the air.
Shoes are lined up near the door, though a few pairs are clearly kicked off carelessly. A jacket hangs over the back of a chair. Thereâs a half-empty water bottle on the coffee table beside a rolled-up yoga mat.
Itâs not a huge apartment, but it feels⊠alive. It feels like something you always wanted. It's the complete opposite of what you have now.
Hobi closes the door behind you.
âYou made it up the stairs,â he says proudly, like you just completed a marathon.
âBarely.â You laugh a little, still catching your breath.
âThat third flight is a personal attack,â he agrees solemnly.
âYou say that every time someone visits.â A voice from the living room cuts in.
Jungkook is sprawled across the couch like he owns it. One arm hangs over the backrest, the other holding his phone loosely. His hair is slightly messy, like heâs been running his hands through it.
He looks up and when he sees you, he immediately sits up.
âOh,â he says.
âHiâ you say with a small wave.
âI didnât know you were coming today.â He scratches the back of his neck.
âSurprise,â Yura says as she and Jimin let themselves in.
You turn slightly as Yura comes to your side and Jimin is now casually inspecting Hobi's kitchen like heâs judging the cleanliness level.
âItâs not a surprise,â Hobi argues. âYou texted me.â
âWhy do you have three bottles of hot sauce and no vegetables?â Jimin asks as he opens the refrigerator.
âBecause I have priorities,â Hobi replies immediately. âAnd I'm rarely home.â
The casual chaos makes your nerves loosen just a little. Jungkook, however, is still looking at you. Not staring intensely like he did in the studio. Just watching. Like heâs trying not to scare you off or maybe he's afraid of saying the wrong thing.
You glance away first.
âSo,â you say, rubbing your hands together awkwardly. âApparently some of my stuff is here?â
âOh!â Hobi's entire face lights up.
He claps his hands once and disappears down the hallway before anyone can stop him.
âThat was fast,â you say.
âHeâs been waiting for this moment for years,â Jimin mutters, still digging through the fridge.
âDonât say that like heâs a creep.â Yura elbows him.
âI didnât say creep.â Jimin argues.
âYou implied creep.â Jungkook snorts softly.
No one has time to come up with a retort before Hobi returns with a box in his hands. You watch as he sets the box carefully on the coffee table.
The room quiets a little as you step closer. The cardboard is worn, edges softened from being moved around for years. One corner has been reinforced with tape where it must have split at some point.
Your stomach flips.
âThatâs mine?â You ask.
âYeah.â Hobi nods.
You take a breath and lift the flaps. Inside are layers of things packed together. Some folded clothes that looked like sweat shirts. A small wooden jewelry box. A canvas pouch tied with a string and a thick bundle of Polaroids wrapped in a loose rubber band.
Your fingers drift to the photos first. The rubber band snaps lightly as you slide it off. You flip the first one over.
Itâs taken inside a convenience store. Jin is holding up two instant ramen cups like heâs presenting priceless artifacts while Taehyung stands beside him looking deeply unimpressed.
You turn it over.
â2AM survival supplies.â
You smile faintly.
The next photo is blurrier. Someone clearly moved when it snapped. Jungkook is halfway through stealing fries from a basket while Jimin points at him like he just caught a crime in progress.
On the back:
âHE SAID HE WASNâT HUNGRY.â
âI think you guys just never listen to me,â Jungkook groans from the couch.
You flip another.
This one is outside. A curb. Nighttime.
Hobi is sitting on the hood of a car with his arms stretched wide while holding onto a sparkler while Yura laughs so hard sheâs doubled over.
The back reads:
âHis smile is brighter than the sparkler!â
âIt is.â Hobi nods proudly.
Next photo.
A coffee shop table cluttered with cups and napkins. Namjoon is staring down at a book while Taehyung appears to be putting whipped cream in his hair.
You turn it over.
âHe didnât notice for 20 minutes.â
You flip another.
This one is inside a dance studio. Everyone is sprawled across the floor like theyâve been there for hours. Takeout containers everywhere.
Jimin is stretching amongst the chaos.
You turn it over.
âMy tiny dancer.â
You keep going.
There are photos of shadows on sidewalks.
Food.
A blurry sunset someone tried to capture.
A selfie where half the group didnât fit in the frame.
Then one catches your attention.
You.
Sitting on a windowsill somewhere with your knees pulled up, holding a camera toward whoever took the picture. However, sitting on the floor against the wall was Yoongi.
Not posing. He was just⊠there. Watching you, take the picture of someone taking your picture.
You flip the photo over
You stare at it a second longer than the others. It wasn't your handwriting. It was messier.
âShe looks truly happy hereâ
You take a breath and slide the photo back into the stack.
âThereâs so many,â you say quietly and Yura nods.
âYou carried that camera everywhere.â She informs you.
âClearly,â you murmur, flipping another.
This one makes the room around you go quiet.
Yoongi is sleeping on a couch. You are sitting at the other end holding the camera out for a crooked selfie. The both of you are covered with the same blanket. You look⊠comfortable. Like you belong there
You turn the photo over.
âHe picked the movie and fell asleep.â
Before you can think about that too long. The apartment door opens. Everyone looks up just in time for Yoongi to step inside while carrying a grocery bag.
âHobs they didn't haveâŠâ He trails off as he walks two steps into the living room and notices you.
His eyes drop to the photos in your hands. His gaze lingers on the one on top.
The selfie.
You lift it slightly.
âDo you remember this?â You ask him.
Yoongi sets the grocery bag on the table and turns back to you.
âYeah.â He nods.
You glance between him and the photo.
âWhere was this?â You ask. âWhat were we watching?
A small pause settles in the room before he answers simply.
âMy place.â He shrugs. âI don't remember what we watched. We all watched a lot of movies.â
âKeep going,â Jungkook tells you as he looks over your shoulder.
You flip another photo.
Taehyung is pointing dramatically at something off-camera.
âHe was wrong.â
âAbout what?â You laugh softly.
âNo one remembers,â Jungkook says.
You shift the stack of photos in your hands and thatâs when you notice it. Something bright flashes when Hobi reaches for the water bottle on the coffee table.
Not silver.
Color.
A woven bracelet wraps around his wrist. Thin threads of turquoise, yellow, and red twisted together in a simple braid.
Your eyes linger on it. Something in your chest tugs strangely.
Before you even realize what youâre doing, your fingers drift to your own wrist.
You rub the spot slowly.
Like something used to sit there. Across from you, Hobi freezes. His gaze drops immediately to your hand. Then his eyes widen.
âWait,â he says quietly.
Everyone looks at him. He is staring at your wrist now.
âYou used to do that,â he murmurs.
âDo what?â You ask, as your hand pauses.
âThat,â he says, pointing gently. âWhenever you would realize you forgot it.â
âForgot what?â You question as a small knot tightens in your stomach.
Hobi doesnât answer right away. Instead he leans forward and reaches into the cardboard box, pulling out the small wooden jewelry box. The lid creaks softly when he opens it.
He digs around for a moment before pulling something out. He places the object carefully on the coffee table between you.
Another bracelet.
Bright threads woven together. Orange. Blue. Green. Itâs simple. Handmade, but unmistakably similar to the one on his wrist.
Your breath catches.
Hobi scratches the back of his neck, suddenly looking a little bashful.
âYou bought those,â he says. Your eyes lift to his. âSpring break,â he continues. âYou and I got stuck doing the grocery run for everyone.â
âThat sounds about right.â Jimin snorts softly from the kitchen and Hobi ignores him.
âThere was this little booth set up on the sidewalk,â he says, gesturing vaguely like he can still see it. âSome lady was selling handmade bracelets.â
You stare down at the one on the table.
âYou made me stop,â Hobi adds with a small smile. âSaid the colors looked like summer.â Your fingers hover just above it as if you were trying to summon the memory. âI told you it would be dumb to buy them.â
You don't remember this. You don't remember spring break or a lady selling bracelets.
âAnd you said,â Hobi continues, his voice softening, ââThen it can be a dumb memory.ââ
Your fingers finally brush the bracelet and you swear your wrist tingles slightly.
Like your wrist remembers something your mind still can't reach. Your fingers trace the braided threads again.
Orange. Blue. Green.
Without really thinking about it, you pick the bracelet up. The threads are soft from wear. You turn it over in your fingers, studying the little knot at the end.
Then you look up.
âHobi?â You ask, staring at the man who presented you with your long lost things.
âYeah?âHobi straightens slightly.
âCan you tie it for me?â You hold the bracelet out toward him.
The words slip out before you have time to second-guess them.
Yura and Jungkook look at one another before looking between you and Hobi. Jiminâs voice cuts off mid-sentence somewhere in the kitchen. A second later, he leans around the doorway with Yoongi just behind him, both of them clearly drawn by the sudden quiet. Jiminâs eyes flick from the bracelet in your hand to Hobiâs stunned face. Yoongi doesnât say anything. He just crosses his arms loosely against the doorframe, watching.
Hobi doesnât take the bracelet right away. Heâs staring at it in your hand like it might disappear if he moves too fast.
âYou⊠want to wear it?â He asks quietly, making you nod.
âI think Iâm supposed to,â you say softly. âMy wrist feels weird without it all of a sudden.â
Something in Hobiâs expression wavers.
Pride.
Sadness.
Relief.
All tangled together, but he still hesitates. His gaze drifts briefly to your left hand. The diamond ring. He glances toward Yura.
âYou sure thatâs a good idea?â He asks carefully.
His voice is gentle. Not judgmental. Just⊠cautious. Your eyes follow his gaze for a second to the ring.
Corbyn.
Your parents.
All the expectations that come with them. However, then your attention drifts back to the bracelet in your hand. Something inside you screams that you need to have those thin strands of strings around your wrist.
âItâs just a bracelet,â you say quietly.
From the doorway, Jimin exhales softly, like heâd been holding his breath. Yoongiâs gaze drops to the bracelet for a second before lifting back to your face. He doesnât interrupt. He just keeps watching.
âYeah,â Hobi murmurs, as he exhales slowly.
He finally reaches forward and takes it from you. His fingers brush yours briefly.
Warm.
Familiar.
You hold out your wrist. For a second, Hobi just looks at it and he laughs softly under his breath.
âYou used to hold your arm out like this too,â he says. âBossy.â
âI was not bossy.â You deny.
âYou absolutely were.â He laughs.
A small smile tugs at your mouth. He gently wraps the braided threads around your wrist.His fingers work carefully, tying the knot the same way he must have done years ago. For a moment, the only sound in the room is the soft rustle of his fingers working.
From the kitchen doorway, Yoongi shifts slightly, his shoulder settling against the frame. His eyes stay on the bracelet as Hobi ties the final knot.
When he finishes, Hobiâs hands linger there a second longer than necessary. Like heâs making sure itâs real. Like heâs afraid if he lets go too quickly, the moment will vanish.
âThere,â he says quietly.
You turn your wrist slightly. The colors catch the light. Something in your chest warms.
It feels⊠right.
Hobi watches your reaction carefully. His eyes look suspiciously bright now.
âYou kept it all this time?â You ask softly.
âWell,â he says, shrugging as he rubs the back of his neck again. âYou made me promise not to lose it.â
You glance down at your wrist again and then back up at Hobi.
âIâm glad you didnât,â you tell him softly.
Hobi smiles. However, thereâs a tightness behind it. A slight sadness.
âYou might want to keep it under your sleeve,â he adds gently after a moment.
âWhy?â Your brows knit slightly.
His gaze flicks toward your ring again.
âI donât want you getting in trouble,â he says quietly. âWith your parents⊠or your fiancĂ©.â
You stare down at the bracelet. The threads press lightly against your skin. From the doorway, Yoongi finally pushes himself off the frame. He still doesnât say anything. He just gives a small nod toward your wrist. Almost like quiet approval before heâs turning back toward the kitchen.
âI won't get in trouble,â you assure him. âI'll make sure of it.â
Instead of feeling like troubleâŠ
It feels like a piece of yourself finally coming back.
The restaurant Corbyn chose is the kind of place that prides itself on quiet elegance. Low amber lighting. Polished wood tables. Soft piano music drifts through the room. Everything smells faintly of rosemary and butter.
You sit across from Corbyn in a booth tucked along the wall, a half-finished glass of water in front of you. The bracelet sits hidden beneath the cuff of your sweater, the threads occasionally brushing your skin when you move your wrist.
You can feel it.
You keep feeling it.
Across the table, Corbyn is mid-sentence.
ââŠand the adjuster tried to argue that the damage estimate was inflated,â he says, cutting into his steak with calm precision. âBut the photographs clearly showed frame misalignment, which makes it a structural liability issue. So naturally I had toâŠâ
âMhm.â You nod automatically.
Your fork pushes your pasta around the plate. You try to focus on what heâs saying. You really do.
âBut then opposing counsel brings up comparative negligence,â Corbyn continues, clearly warming up now. âWhich would normally complicate things, except they had already admitted fault in the police reportâŠâ
Your mind drifts. Not on purpose, but it just⊠drifts. Your fingers brush the inside of your sleeve.
The bracelet.
You remember Hobi tying it earlier. The careful way his hands moved. The quiet in the room when you asked. Jimin leaning in the kitchen doorway. Yoongi standing behind him with his arms crossed. The soft nod he gave when the knot was finished.
You twist your wrist slightly under the table. The threads press gently into your skin.
Orange. Blue. Green.
ââŠso the mediator tried to steer the conversation toward settlement, but the opposing firm clearly hadnât prepared their client for realistic numbersâŠâ Corbynâs voice continues steadily.
You glance up at him. He looks exactly the same as always.
Composed.
Professional.
Confident in that quiet, polished way that made your parents adore him the moment they met. Your eyes drift to his hands.
No bracelets.
Just a watch.
Expensive.
Clean.
âAnd of course,â Corbyn says with a small sigh. âThey tried to argue emotional distress damages.â
âHmm?â You blink.
âYou werenât listening,â he says, as he pauses mid-cut.
âSorry,â you admit, your cheeks warm slightly.
âItâs alright.â He smiles faintly. âInsurance litigation isnât exactly thrilling dinner conversation.â
âThatâs not true,â you say quickly.
âYou were absolutely somewhere else just now.â He raises an eyebrow.
You hesitate. Your fingers press lightly against your sleeve again.
The bracelet.
âI just had a long day,â you say.
Corbyn watches you longer than normal before he nods.
âThatâs fair.â He takes a sip of his wine. âWork busy today?â he asks.
âI guess,â you say with a small shrug.
âClaims never slow down,â he agrees easily. âSomeone is always crashing into someone else.â
You take a bite of pasta.
Across the table, Corbyn watches you thoughtfully. Then his gaze drifts downward. Your stomach drops a second too late. Your sleeve shifts when you reach for your glass.
Just slightly.
Enough.
The colorful threads peek out from your wrist. Corbynâs eyes pause there for a moment.
âIs that new?â He asks, with a tilt of his head.
Your heart thumps once.
âOh,â you say lightly and slowly lower your glass. âThis?â
You tug your sleeve down a little, but the bracelet is still visible.
âYes,â he says calmly, his eyes still on your wrist. âThat.â
You hesitate for half a second. Just long enough to feel the knot of the bracelet under your fingers.
âOh,â you say casually. âI bought it earlier.â
âBought it?â Corbynâs brows lift slightly.
âYeah,â you shrug lightly. âThere was this kid selling handmade bracelets on the street when I was walking back from lunch.â
You rotate your wrist slightly. âHe looked like he was trying really hard to sell them,â you add. âSo I figured⊠why not. It was just a couple of dollars.â
Corbyn leans back in the booth slightly, studying it.
âIt looks handmade,â he observes.
âYeah.â You agree.
âCharity purchase?â He asks with a faint smile.
âSomething like that.â You shrug.
For a moment he watches the bracelet like heâs mentally cataloging it before he nods.
âThatâs kind of you,â he says.
Your shoulders relax just a little and he picks up his fork again.
âStreet entrepreneurship,â he adds mildly. âCanât fault the hustle.â
You smile faintly.
Across the table, Corbyn returns to his steak without another thought. The conversation drifts back toward work.
A difficult mediation.
An unreasonable claimant.
A judge with a reputation for dragging hearings past five oâclock.
His voice is steady.
Familiar.
Safe.
But under the table, your thumb keeps tracing the braided threads around your wrist. Orange. Blue. Green. The knot Hobi tied presses lightly against your skin.
And every time you feel itâŠ
Your mind flashes briefly back to that apartment.
The quiet living room.
The photos scattered across the table.
The way everyone watched when you held your arm out.
Hobi tying the knot carefully.
Across from you, Corbyn takes a sip of wine and continues talking about a difficult client.
And under your sleeveâŠ
The bracelet feels like a tiny, colorful secret.
<Next>
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handyman jungkookx y/n
damsel in distress, obsessive obsessive obsessive, smutty
>20k
-
the life you lived was hardly one that many dreamt about.
you werenât rich, successful or even remotely happy. you worked two gruelling jobs, one throughout the day and then a night shift at your local diner all whilst barely having enough money at the end of the month for basic necessities and food, all thanks to the horrible apartment you had moved into.
moving away from an abuser who had connections and knew everyone in the town youâd once lived in meant you were forced into the city - big streets, bigger prices and no safety net. you had been here for six months, still healing from the kind of trauma that lodged itself in your body as opposed to your overworked mind. the kind that made you flinch at footsteps, double check locks, keep your head down.
you werenât sure you had ever experienced safety, and you werenât sure you ever would.
the only building you managed to secure on such short notice was the building you lived in now - a concrete block rotting from the inside out. the water pressure was horrendous, shooting out cold water a majority of the time, with mould crawling up your walls like it was alive. you owned very little because you couldnât afford to replace anything that broke, and the worst part of all? the rent.
triple what the apartment was worth.
you didnât know at first, too blinded by your desperation to escape your abusive home, too tired, too exhausted - you had signed the papers without looking properly. by the time you realised, you were already trapped. you couldnât move even if you wanted, not with all of the deposits you couldnât afford, moving fees you couldnât dream of paying or the even nastier landlords that somehow managed to be sleazier than your own.
and so, you endured. endured the way he would speak to you, all up in your business, breath hot on your neck and cheeks every time heâd lean in too close. sometimes he would move goalposts, forcing you to pay your rent early just to watch you scramble. you were in a constant fight or flight mode that you knew would kill you.
you woke up tired and went to sleep tired, body aching in ways that rest could never help recover. you didnât complain, didnât have anyone to ask for help, didnât have the time nor the energy to believe anything would change. you moved through the world quietly, apologetically, as though your mere presence took up too much space.
jungkook had known that apartment long before you ever even stepped foot into it.
unit 4b.
as the residentâs on sight handyman, he had been inside it years ago. the building had been past saving then, but still pretending otherwise - he couldnât even imagine what it was like now, but luckily, it had been unoccupied for so long that he had forgotten all about it thankfully.
he had fixed a pipe in there once, replaced a fuse another; every visit had left him with grime underneath his fingernails and a sour taste in his mouth. the place was a hazard waiting to happen, damp beneath the walls and faulty wiring. it was a display of neglect that didnât show itself all at once.
when he had seen your name on the new tenants list, next to the apartment, something inside him had gone still.
he hadnât bothered to knock on your door when you moved in. never introduced himself, that wasnât how things were done in this place - it was rough living for rough people. you asked when you wanted something, werenât just given it.
he, however, had met fragments of you.
coming and going whilst he fixed stair rails, brow collecting sweat as he watched you shuffle beside him to take the rubbish out. you moved like someone permanently bracing for impact with your shoulders curled in, bag clutched tight, steps uneven with exhaustion. sometimes you couldnât even bring yourself to look up, but he could see the glassy mess of your eyes.
he doubted you had ever even seen him. that should have been the end of it, but it wasnât.
because once he noticed you, he couldnât stop.
it wasnât an immediate desire - it wasnât that simple or crude, no. it was something slower, heavier. it carried in the way his attention snagged every time he saw you stumble slightly on the stairs. the way his jaw would lock tight when he noticed how late youâd leave and come home from your night shift, or the way his chest would tighten inexplicably whenever he imagined you unlocking your door and stepping foot in that fucking apartment all alone.
he didnât like the thoughts that manifested because of you.
they were intrusive - possessive to the core. he felt sick at the thought of you. wanted to sink his teeth into your arms and legs, anything to grab your attention so youâd notice him head on. his brain was fucked up, wrong in the way that had less to do with morality and everything to do with intensity. jungkook had always known there was something twisted about the way he wanted - not in excess but in pure depth.
he didnât give a fuck about the idea of all of his past girlfriends leaving him - they werenât what he craved. they werenât the missing puzzle piece he had been looking for, all differently shaped to the specific hole in his life.
he fantasised about his dream woman. fantasised about making her stay, making her feel good, providing something he knew he yearned to give.
wanted to provide until there was nothing left for them to worry about. wanted to make money irrelevant in their brain. rest would be mandatory - he wanted to come home dirty after a long day of work to his sweet girl cooking for him, just so he could breed her all fucking night.
it didnât stem from kindness, but mere vice.
and watching you wear yourself thin inside a place he knew shouldâve been condemned made that vice burn hot and ugly in his chest.
he started recognising the patterns. the way you always opted for the stairs when the elevator had broken down, despite it being incredibly dangerous in a messed up building like this one. it was the way you paused on the landing, trying to catch your breath after a long day of not eating enough and feeling a level of exhaustion that had settled into your body like home, your fingers tightening against the very metal he had worked on prior.
you never complained, never flagged anyone down, never even asked for repairs - he was marginally cheaper than anyone else you could hire considering his contract with your building and yet still, you lived in squalor.
jungkook had never been good at ignoring the things he wanted most. especially not when they had him hardening, balls tightening at the mere sight of you - the perfect candidate for the life he wanted to build. at first, he tried convincing himself it was normal to worry about any woman like this, tired and exhausted living in a bad area but he knew his motivation was anything but innocent.
this was a fixation. a maddening, obsessive one.
he could feel his brain warping, dripping in need whenever heâd catch you walking back to your place. couldnât help the thoughts from straying, wanted to protect you, save you, heâd do it in anyway possible.
you shouldnât be living like this, and one day soon, something had to give.
heâd make fucking sure.
â
the stairwell smelled like damp concrete and old cigarettes.
the elevator was broken again, and this time it had been down for weeks. you didnât know if you were allowed to complain to anyone, didnât have half the energy the act required and frankly, neither the time. your bag dug into your shoulder as you opened the door to the staircase, sighing quietly, beginning your painful ascend to the fourth floor.
your vision swam from your shift you had just finished with, whimpering lightly as your aching legs took you to your place, so you could get dressed for your night shift.
as you climbed, your keys fell from your hand, your hair falling into your eyesight, blurring it even more.
you watched as they clattered down the stairs, another small noise of complaint leaving you at the sight. the sound was jarring in the empty space, as you stumbled down to collect them, hand darting outwards whilst you swayed.
your body lagged behind your mind, causing you to slip, a squeak escaping as you began to fall forwards, bracing for impact.
an arm caught you.
fast. firm. heavy. rough.
fingers clung to the skin on your waist like they had been there before, pulling you harshly into an equally hard chest, the contact knocking air away from your lungs.
âsteady.â
a single word. low.
you froze.
your bag had slipped from your shoulder to the ground, your soft palms pressing gently against a set of shoulders, heart pounding. the first thing you noticed when looking up was how big he was, wide shoulders, large pecs, biceps bursting from the t-shirt that sat on top of his body. his grip hadnât loosened, it had even tightened, his thumb pressing in further to make sure you were steady on your feet.
you nodded quickly, coming out of your daze. âi..i-i am so..sorry.â
he didnât answer.
instead, he manoeuvred you to his other arm, whilst he bent down to pick up both your bag and your keys, moving in a way that felt easy, controlled. he was blocking the narrow landing, making sure you were pressed firmly against him despite it being intense. you hadnât been this close to anyone, regardless another man, in years.
his forearm flexed when it straightened, veins standing out underneath worn skin. he held them out to you.
your eyes were hazy, a mixture of exhaustion and the heat of the situation, lips parted as your eyes met with his. you felt suffocated by his gaze, you felt completely naked, as though he as looking at every crevice you tried to hide with mere ease.
âyou live here.â he said. not a question.
you shrugged weakly, nodding, shamefully looking away from his gaze, unsure of what to say and not being able to stomach his stare.
something shifted in his expression at that. not sympathy. irritation, sharp and contained. his jaw tightened.
your fingers brushed his as you took your stuff, despite being held almost intimately still. the contact was brief, and accidental, and yet it held even more weight than the heavy arm around your waist, as though it meant something else entirely.
âlate.â he gruffed out.
you nodded again, hands against his chest. âyeah.â
his touch loosened, but he remained inappropriately close. tired eyes, scuffed shoes, the way your shoulders were sagging from exhaustion.
âyou shouldnât be out at a time like this,â he said.
not gently.
your stomach twisted. âi donât really have a choice.â
he looked at you for a long moment. his gaze flicked down the stairwell, listening, calculating, and when he looked back, he stepped closer, close enough that you felt it in your chest.
âpretty thing like you,â he said quietly, âworking nights in a place like this?â
your heart fluttering was a shock to you. you could feel a stampede in your stomach, curling further into the warmth he was providing without even realising it, voice tough enough to carry heat. his words werenât necessarily a compliment, but a mere observation, one that had you reeling regardless.
you nodded for a third time, small. âi have to.â
his hand on your waist squeezed, grunting vocally in response. he could feel his cock hardening, and he knew it was fucked up, but the prospect of such a pretty damsel in distress like you? you were out of his wildest dreams, an anomaly that only came once in a lifetime.
he held you for another moment, the two of you simply looking at one another. he liked watching you cower a little, knowing that there were bad people all over in the complex, and though he evidently wasnât one, his sheer size alone had you hesitant. knew it made his brain fucked up, but he enjoyed it regardless.
âget inside.â he muttered slowly, arm slipping away from your waist.
your too large eyes blinked up at him, uncomfortable with the feeling cold seeping in. you wanted him to touch you again.
âokay.â you nodded through a whisper, pulling your bag further onto your shoulder more firmly. he admired you for another moment before nudging his nose up to the rest of the staircase, where the door to your floor sat. âlock your door.â
your cheeks were a deep pink, as you turned and walked up the rest of the stairs, nibbling away at your lip, heading through the final door, and rushing into your apartment.
you leaned against your door, locking it exactly as he ordered you, before sliding down the cold wood, legs giving out beneath you.
who was he?
so tall and so broad, his face alone had your thighs trembling but it was more so how manly he was.
you knew it was ridiculous, but just meeting someone like that had your stomach in knots. you assumed he was just being kind, if a man like that was even able to process that emotion - he was calloused all over, rough without meaning to. the type of guy to take up as much room as physically possible because he could.
you had no idea that as you sat pooled on your floor, eyes closed and lip bitten, jungkook stood on the other side, quiet, listening to make sure you had locked it. to make sure you were safe.
only then, did the loud sound of his boots echo into the hall, cause you to gasp.
â
the knock came too early.
it was the kind of early that felt cruel - sunlight barely stretched through the thin, stained curtains, your body still sunk deep into that half-sleep where breathing ached and nothing felt real yet. the sound cut through the quiet of your apartment too harshly, your brain short circuiting despite your legs carrying you out of the little warmth of your bed.
you were startled. no one knocked on your door. people kept to themselves around here until, well, they didnât, like your neighbour on the left. his door had banged a few weeks ago just as you had come home, and you hadnât heard or seen from him since, a thought that was now presenting deep in your mind.
with trembling hands, and aching feet, you padded your way over to the door whilst all remnants of sleep fell from you like droplets. your toes curled against the cold floor, grabbing a cardigan on your way over to shield your indecent outfit that consisted of a too thin, too see through tank and shorts set.
by the time you had opened the door, the person behind it had already knocked three separate times, raising the level of urgency and only adding to the stress on your shoulders. you had a rare day off from your night shift, meaning you were only heading out to your day job in a few hours. this was supposed to be decompression time.
your fingers finally slid against the cool handle, hesitating at the lock before opening it up, eyebrows furrowed lightly.
you froze.
it was him.
your brain stuttered for a moment as it took in his broad frame, shoulders wider than youâd seen on any man, with muscles in places you had only ever dreamt of. his biceps were practically spilling out of his uniform, which despite being sat seamlessly, showed signs of wear, indicating he had been working all morning. boots were planted solidly against the chipped hallway tile, sunlight shining onto the highest parts of his cheeks.
daylight did him no favours - made him worse. heavier. darker. stronger. the kind of man that felt realer than anything youâd ever experienced.
the kind of man that worked to an inch of his life.
his work belt sat low on his waist, sleeves pushed up, tatted forearms already streaked with things like grease and dust, and hair still damp from his morning shower. despite the hour, he looked awake and alert, something you knew you lacked in that very moment.
his eyes flickered over you, slow. real slow.
you felt it everywhere.
jungkook met your gaze as you finally looked up, your chest tightening.
âmorning.â
his voice was even rougher in the daylight, like gravel dragging over concrete. you could feel it in your stomach.
âhi.â you whispered, barely audible.
âinspection.â he lifted his clipboard whilst staring you down. the eye contact was heavy. âpipe issues in this unit.â
you frowned faintly, confusion pulling at your features. âi..i didnât call anyone..â
his mouth twitched. you were even cuter when you just woke up. he liked that.
âi know.â
his comment should have unsettled you, should have had you closing the door in his face, locking it immediately and ignoring him.
instead, jungkook took it upon himself to set forward. the door brushed your arm as he passed, your already too small apartment feeling somewhat suffocating as it became swallowed by his mere presence.
you hovered near the door, against the wall as he began to move around with a sense of familiarity that had you stomach churning again.
first, he crouched beneath your sink before checking taps, looking inside your cabinets for any sign of water damage, inspecting the dampness that clung to certain walls. he was efficient, practised - it was clear he was good at his job. he moved like a man who knew what he was doing, as though this was another task on his list that he had to get through.
not like he had been thinking of you in this wretched apartment all fucking night.
he was in your bathroom now, writing something down whilst you continued to hover, half out of curiosity and the other half merely weary. you had every right to be given where you were, the fact you hardly knew him if at all, and of course the knowledge he had simply let himself in.
suddenly, water began sprouting from your tap the way it usually did but judging from the small grimace on his face, you knew it wasnât something normal despite it being that way from day one.
âthis place is so fucked.â he huffed, with a shake to his head. âthey shouldnât be renting this unit out. itâs a biohazard.â
your fingers intertwined together nervously; as though the problem at hand was your fault. âi keep a towel..under there..â
he paused. slowly, he turned to look at you, savouring the way your cardigan was leaving little to his imagination. your nipples had pebbled, and a better man would have looked away, but jungkook was hardly good - assessing them for a moment longer before meeting your gaze.
âyou shouldnât have to.â his voice was hard.
the way he said it, flat, certain, unyielding. it made your stomach ache and your chest tighten, as though someone was looking directly through you.
he stood taller then, raising from his once crouched position. he towered over you, a reminder of the sheer size difference between you, something both of you secretly felt aligned on.
he wiped his hands on his rag, cleaning them before moving past you to the breaker panel. his arm brushed against your shoulder deliberately, watching the way you shuddered.
âpower cuts at night?â he asked.
âsometimes.â you answered honestly.
he looked over you again. âfigures.â
he opened the panel, taking his time with inspecting it before closing it off. he turned back around to face you once he was done, not bothering to walk away, but instead taking up more of your personal space.
he looked at you properly.
the sag of your shoulders and the shadows underneath your eyes, the way you stood hoping not to be noticed. too small for even the cramped space of your apartment. it made his head swirl.
âyou eat?â he gruffed out, a slight edge to his voice.
you were shifting from foot to foot. âwhat?â
âfood.â he clarified with narrowed eyes. âyou eat it?â
âi-..when i can.â
you werenât sure why you were being so honest with him and yet the worlds tumbled out before you could think. you were nibbling on your lip.
he wasnât done with his line of questioning, finding himself stepping closer to you resulting in you stepping back.
âhow old are you?â
â24.â
he exhaled through his nose. he seemed angry, or something adjacent, as though your words were aggravating him. âtoo young to look this tired.â
you looked down with heat creeping up your neck and cheeks. âitâs fine.â
âdonât say that.â his eyes narrowed once more. he ran a hand through his hair before exhaling deeply. âiâll be around today, gotta fix some shit around here. donât go out.â
your mouth opened and closed a few times, unsure of what to say. you watched as he walked towards the entrance, the warmth radiating from his body suddenly gone.
he paused at the threshold, one hand braced on the frame whilst looking back at you, watching the way your chest rose and fell, your sheer pyjamas doing nothing to hide the way your body subconsciously leant towards him.
ânext time something breaks, you call me.â his voice firm.
âi donât have your number.â you weakly replied, as though it was anything to deter him. secretly, you hoped it wouldnât.
he didnât respond, simply running his eyes up and down you once more as though he was savouring the sheer look of you, all soft and pliant. it made that sick part of his brain swirl, the thought of you being all his, the side of him that tried to rationalise a man ten years older being with a pretty little thing like you. heâd fucking ruin you and he knew youâd be thankful for it too.
jungkook turned around, cock half hard and head swarming, veins popping out of his arm, leaving you be for a few moments.
â
working the diner on a late shift meant two things. first, it meant you would have to deal with cleaning the entire place top to bottom, which was easily your least favourite task of your entire job. second, and more importantly, it meant you would be forced to deal with the filthy, sleazy men that would come in hopes of riling you up in anyway they could.
you were pliant, too soft for a place like this, too clean, too scared. all the girls before you had been ran away with ease after experiencing a single shift, and here you were, tiny little diner dress that sat too high on your thigh as men ogled at you.
you knew it was going to be a long night by hour two when you had already been harassed by two newcomers, the cooks in the back not able to back you up as much as they wanted considering it was a busy shift. you had been fighting tears back the entire night, but this was borderline insane. it felt targeted, and you felt exhausted already - this was hardly helping.
the smell of burnt coffee and grease was all you could think about as you walked around the diner, filling coffee mugs everytime a man would smash it hard against the table to get your attention, ignoring disgusting comments like they had never even been uttered, eyes down.
you felt it before you saw it.
him.
a regular. late 40âs, unshaven, dirt under his fingernails. kind of guy to make you uncomfortable just to get him off. he made your skin crawl. made you want to hide forever and never appear again, but alas, you were a young, poor, twenty something year old fighting for the very will to live.
you felt the slow drag of attention on your legs, dragging up and settling on your tits. your dress was buttoned, and though you knew there was nothing to even ogle at, the shape of your breasts against your dress was enough for dirt like him to get riled up.
âthere she is, about fucking time.â he grunted out, breath hot and legs spread underneath the booth table. âfetch me a coffee. make it good.â
you simply nodded, not trusting your voice as you grabbed him a mug before pouring it in in front of him, eyes trained on the drink.
âwhat time you finish tonight, sweets?â
your shoulders bristled immediately. he always did this, but it never made you feel any better.
âlate.â you murmured quietly, but he was perceptive enough to hear you. didnât like the bite in your voice.
âwalking home alone again?â
your body went cold.
your stomach tightened uncontrollably, and though the line of questioning wasnât anything new, it still messed with you more than you wanted to admit. you could feel the thin layer of threat coated in each word, and it scared you to know you were utterly defenceless.
you had been feeling watched recently too. on the staircases, when entering your home, walking through hallways. your building was shady, yes, but this was different - it felt charged. felt scary enough to notice, and paired with a line like that? this didnât feel normal anymore.
you shake your head before you could even think it through. âno.â
âno?â he repeated with a smirk.
you swallowed nervously.
âiâve got someone..so.â
your words surprised even you, and you tried your hardest to hide it, especially when his own was formed perfectly upon his features. he leaned back, drinking the coffee with his darkened features.
âyeah?â
âyeah.â
you shifted from foot to foot. he didnât believe you, you could feel it.
âhe works in construction.â you added, nervously, breathing through your words to sound firm but instead, coming out like a fawn. âdoes long shifts too but takes care of me and..and he doesnât..like men talking to me..so.â
your pad suddenly looked so much more interesting, shuffling it between your fingers as he stared you down, secretly seething at the idea of the pretty plaything at the diner no longer being accessible to mess with.
âheâs protective too. big cause he works with his hands.â you kept rambling on, describing the very protector you needed.
describing jungkook.
subconsciously, of course.
the sleazy man narrowed his eyes at you, tilting his head slightly. âdonât look like you have a man like that. you sure youâre not lying to me, sweets? cause i donât like liars.â
âi do..i really do.â you nodded immediately but you were blinking fast, almost about to burst into tears from your lie that you begged wouldnât come back to bite you in the ass.
âyeah? whatâs his name?â
your throat constricted. you wanted to run away.
âhe wouldnât like me giving his name out.â your voice came out a whisper.
you knew he had you. knew he could see right through you.
he drank from his mug once more, filthy stare looking over you once more as though he had every right. his fingers tapped against the table for a few seconds before he leaned back.
âsay hi for me.â
you didnât respond. you couldnât. you simply walked away.
later, once the diner had closed and every inch had been mopped to perfection, you finally grabbed your bag and your coat with a loaded sigh. the exhaustion was heavy today, you could feel it in the way your bones screamed with every passing movement. you had been shouted at non stop all night by customers, and though you werenât doing anything wrong, it still was never good enough.
stepping out after you had locked the doors was stark, the cold air hitting you in your face causing you to wrap your coat even tighter around you, beginning the ten minute walk to your apartment block. you had long become used to the journey, and despite the late hour being terrifying at this time of night, it was one of the only chances you had to feel the wind hit you. to remind you that you were alive.
the streets felt different tonight, with the stark lighting above flickering with each and every step. you could feel a knot begin to form in your stomach, and you knew it was anxiety, you knew you were being ridiculous but that didnât make the thoughts go away.
it only took another 30 seconds for your thoughts to be confirmed.
you could hear it. footsteps just a few metres away from you, and considering it was the early morning, the streets were completely bare save for yourself and whatever was trailing you from behind. you felt your legs quicken despite the tiredness in your body screaming at you, openly telling you it could take no more for the night and yet you were doing a full blown run home within seconds.
you could still hear it behind you, and it was real, wasnât a figment of your imagination - someone was trying to get you, to hurt you.
you could see your apartment, could see the heavy doors, the rubbish bins all empty and random waste littered around on the floor. the most noticeable thing of all, however, was the beaten down truck, where a tall and bulky man stood, smoking his cigarette with furrowed eyes as he leaned against it.
you recognised him immediately.
he seemed to notice you too, watching as you all but ran over to him, your eyes wide and breathing heavy, your chest heaving up and down.
jungkookâs head tilted just slightly, grabbing you with one of his arms as his cigarette sat on his lip, watching as you burst out into crushing sobs almost instantly from the feel of his touch.
it was safety personified.
his arms wrapped around you as though it was second nature, one hand on the back of your head, the other harsh on your waist.
his cigarette fell to the ground, extinguished by a heavy boot whilst you sobbed in utter fear, clutching him like a lifeline, as though he was the only thing that could protect you from the outside world.
he was.
his touch wasnât gentle, or firm - it was mean, harsh against your skin, grabbing and forcing you to look up at him as it did exactly what it needed to. it grounded you, enough to sedate the fear, just slightly, fingers pressing into your uniform.
âwhat happened?â his voice was equally as rough, as though he had barely used it all day, a man used to using his hands as opposed to his words.
you couldnât get your words out, too big eyes staring up at him almost desperately as broken sounds and wet breaths fell into his chest, your hands bundled against his pecs.
his jaw tightened. he looked past you, eyes narrowing as he assessed the street, shoulders square. it was far too quiet considering the state you were in, and he could only assume whatever had made you so scared had quickly ran away the moment they realised you had sought shelter in him. he was a pretty intimidating guy, all height and muscle, a right hook that had people passing out in seconds.
âdid someone touch you?â
you shook your head fast against him, sucking in a breath.
ân-n..â hiccup. âno.â
his hand travelled from the back of your head, running through your hair until it reached the back of your neck, eyes narrowing harshly. he was grounding you still, keeping you safe in his arms as you shook violently, a mixture of the cold air and the fear of what could have been had jungkook conveniently not been stood outside.
you had no idea that he had been waiting for you, almost aggravated at how late you were coming home.
âuse your words.â he uttered, fingers digging into your skin just enough to leave pressure, something you found grounding. âtalk.â
âwas a m-man..at the..at the diner and..but he keeps..and then..â you were choking out words, hardly making sense but it was enough for him to gather the general gist of what was happening.
you watched as his face went completely cold.
âregular?â he asked.
you nodded, not trusting your voice through your sobs.
âhe fucking follow you?â
you took a deep breath, shaky air leaving your lips. âi donât know- i think..someone foll-followed me..â hiccup. âso i ran.â
he looked angry.
you barely knew the man, but from the emotions he had given you, you could tell it wasnât directed at you whatsoever. you could feel it in the tension of his arms around you, the warmth his body exuded - it was fury.
âalright.â
decision made.
he pulled your face back, the hand on your neck forcibly tilting your head, so he was looking down at you. you shamelessly had never felt so protected ever before. he wiped the mascara underneath your eyes, despite the constant stream of tears, making sure to rid you of the blotchiness on your skin.
âlisten to me,â he began, watching you nod like the good girl he knew you were. âyouâre not going upstairs.â
your lip trembled again. did this mean you couldnât go home?
âb-but..â
âif he knows the building, you ainât going up there alone.â
you let out another sob, this only adding to the pile of problems you were already drowning in. you couldnât handle this. could feel your brain splitting from the stress of it all.
âiâm scared.â you admitted in a small voice, fingers curled into his work jacket so delicately. âwhat if he knows which one is mine?â
that fucking killed him.
jungkook rolled his shoulders before letting go of your neck, grunting lightly as he pulled you even tighter against him. suddenly, you were turned towards the entrance of the building, his heavy hold on you guiding you inside.
âwhere a-are we-â
âmy place.â he cut you off immediately as he walked you inside, head turning back to make sure no one was following him.
âyou live here?â you asked through a hiccup, desperately still clinging to him, giving him no option but to hold you intimately as he guided you downstairs instead of up, where you and the other residents lived.
everything moved so quickly as you were ushered into an apartment, your eyes hazy as they began to blink away tears to register what was in front of you.
jungkookâs place was clean, tidy, meticulous. the furniture looked expensive, everything crafted perfectly, open plan living room and kitchen with a dining table sat as though he had a family he could dine with. dark wood floors and a couch so plush you were sure it was softer than anything you had ever sat on in your life.
you heard the clink of the door behind you, even watched him lock the door, bolting it for your comfort as opposed to himself.
he turned to face you again, observing you clearly.
you stood, shaking still, body slowly calming down from the sobbing you were doing earlier and instead replaced with a string of hiccuping breaths. you looked so small, so defenceless - a sick part of his brain wanted you like this always so he could play the knight in shining armour. wanted you to need him.
he exhaled through his nose. âsit.â
you obeyed instantly, moving to the couch and taking a seat on the edge as though you were terrified to touch anything. he walked over to the kitchen, where you could still see him before he returned to you, glass of water in hand.
he handed it to you, watching you take it with both shaky hands and take small sips.
he suddenly crouched in front of you. his calloused hands took a hold of either side of you, fingers digging into the sides of your thigh as he situated you on the couch properly, your bare legs brushing against him with ease due to the position he had now put you in.
âlook at me.â
and so you did.
his shoulders were tight against his work jacket, frame so large you longed to be underneath it, just to know what kind of warmth would seep into your skin and bones. his forearms were thick, veins visible and tattoos on show, with bruised and bloody knuckles showing signs of scarring display too.
âis he going to try something?â he asked you, eyes trained onto your own.
âi donât know.â you answered honestly, and the acknowledgment of being uncertain had your anxiety spiking again visibly, causing him to hold you even firmer.
ârecount the conversation for me.â
âhe a-asked when i finish..and then..something about if i-i was walking home alone..â
jungkookâs jaw was ticking; his shoulders rolling as he ran a heavy hand through his hair. he met your fearful gaze, your fingers intertwined in your lap shaking.
âwhatâd you say?â his voice was direct, and his presence felt calming.
âi..told him i had a boyfriend.â you admitted through a sniffle, rubbing underneath your eyes. âmade him sound scary.â
the silence between you became thick, jungkookâs fingers digging into your skin. not painfully, but enough to certainly remind you of his hold, with his gaze never leaving your own.
his face remained stoic, but his actions gave him away.
âyeah?â he quietly responded; to which you nodded. âmhm.â
âhowâd you describe him?â
âwell..â you sniffled again, making jungkook wipe under your eyes for him, the harsh skin on his hands a stark difference to the soft surface of your face. âsaid he works in construction..and that..that heâs big and he doesnât like guys talking to me.â
his tongue began poking his cheek, eyes closing for a mere second before his fingers then moved to sit on your hips, pulling you into him, making sure you were much closer than you initially were sitting. your hands situated on his shoulders through hiccups, sniffling away as you tried to ignore the severity of the situation.
âconstruction.â he repeated.
you nodded, the intake of your breath shaky.
âdonât like men talking to you.â he repeated again, but his fingers gave him away again. he was being prodded by you and you didnât even realise it.
you nodded again, realising then that you had just been openly describing him, a beat of acknowledgment filling the room as silence filled the empty cracks between you.
there was something dark shining in his eyes, something that wouldnât soften no matter how hard you sat there and tried. jungkook was a hard wall, but it didnât mean he was unfeeling. emotion swirled deep in his stomach, igniting an internal need to take you for himself, to keep the door locked and protect you forever. how could someone be so oblivious to their own nature? did you know how sweet you were? his jaw ached at the mere thought of how youâd taste, so sugary heâd get a fucking toothache just imagining it.
âyou lie good?â
your stomach dropped. âi-i donât usually..â
âdid he believe you?â his gaze dropped to your mouth, before returning to your eyes, lip curled.
âi donât think so.â you whimpered then at the memory, the feeling of suffocation running back as you remembered the implication of the situation. you werenât safe anymore.
silence settled between you once more, a norm considering he was hardly a man of many words. his hands on your waist tightened before sliding up and down, soothing you subconsciously, your bodies so close.
âif he comes near you again,â he said, voice low and void of overt emotion, âdonât engage. donât talk. call me immediately.â
you blinked through a hiccup.
âbut i donât have your num-â
you were cut off immediately as he stood up to his full length, towering over you as he grabbed his phone, unlocking it and opening his contacts app.
âgive me yours.â
you fumbled for your bag, hands still shaky, pulling out your phone before handing it to him.
he grabbed it, inputting his number and making sure it sat at the top of your contact list. there were no frills, no emojis, just his name staring at you as he handed your phone back to you, eyes sweeping over your face.
âdonât let him scare you so easy. guys like that thrive on this shit.â his words came out gruff, and you blinked up at him quickly.
âi know, i just-â
âi know.â he cut you off again, shaking his head.
that did something to your chest. he knew. he didnât need the details, didnât want to hear you make an excuse for how you were feeling because you didnât need to, he had seen enough for himself. he had watched you long enough to know you liked to pack yourself way in too small boxes in hopes youâd go unnoticed, in hopes you wouldnât be a bother.
the intimacy of him simply cutting you off to remind you he didnât need to hear an explanation, he understood. it was music to you.
he was still looming over you.
âyou donât eat.â his thumb suddenly pressed down on your bottom lip, as you hiccuped, big eyes staring up at him. âdonât sleep enough, work too much, walk home on your own in the middle of the night. live in a unit that should be fucking condemned.â
your throat tightened, but his thumb was firm, the tip of your tongue slightly grazing it. he liked it.
ânot anymore.â he shook his head.
the way he said it wasnât intended for romance, it was ownership. you could feel it deep in your stomach, inbetween your thighs and in the traitorous thump of your very soul.
âyouâre staying here.â he suddenly dropped his thumb from your lip, your brain a buzzing mess as his words began to register in your brain, your eyebrows shooting up on your face.
âwhat?â
he didnât respond, simply walking over to the kitchen area and grabbing a beer can, rolling his shoulders gently. you found yourself standing then, shaky legs taking you over to him, big eyes capturing his as he took a swig despite the late hour, his adamâs apple capturing your eye.
your smaller fingers tugged at his jacket lightly, capturing his attention as his own stomach pinged at the sight of you, yearning for him to address what he had just said.
âyou eaten yet?â he simply uttered.
your mouth opened and closed, nodding your head lightly making him do the same.
âdonât want you going up. not safe. bathrooms down the hall to the left,â he put his beer down. âyou can wear one of my t-shirts to bed.â
your shoulders were slowly dissipating before his very eyes. you had never been taken care of, not for a moment in your full 20 odd years of living and you were almost unsure of how to act as your fingers remained on him, large eyes still glassy from your earlier emotion.
jungkook wanted to take care of you, wanted to dominate every negative emotion in your head until you were nothing but lullabies and sweet nothings, no more echoes of stress or negativity. what he hadnât expected was to see you utterly melt at the prospect, as though the very notion was the one thing you had always wanted.
oh.
you were perfect for him in every way - that he could see clearly.
you made no effort to move, the act alone feeling like it would take too much out of you and so jungkook took one last swig, before grabbing you by your waist. his rough hand sat low on your back, half on your ass in honesty, as he lead you there himself, dark eyes trailing over your much shorter figure against him.
within seconds, you were in the bathroom, fresh clothes given to you, and the shower already on awaiting you. the first step into it had you moaning quietly, the patter of warm water being completely foreign to you considering you were so used to cold shooting bursts that brought no comfort whatsoever. you helped yourself to his shampoo, his body wash, his products just as he intended and were taken aback by how familiar it smelled to you.
there was a sense of protection in carrying his scent that was messing with your brain, and as you washed yourself, you couldnât help but recognise your situation properly.
you, who had only met jungkook twice before, were now naked in his shower, using his products to wash yourself, imprinting his familiar scent into your skin like it was a lifeline. you were in a strangerâs home, seeking refuge from a bad man and yet you knew secretly, the big bad wolf was merely a few metres away from you - not that it deterred you.
the protection. the safety. it felt like a drug. you couldnât bring yourself to reason with the fact it was batshit insane to be sleeping over at his home, your handyman for goodness sake, instead of going to the police or any other normal avenue.
no, instead, you pattered out, towelling your body down before putting on his t-shirt, eyes closing at the even stronger scent of his cologne. your uniform and underwear sat in a neat pile, ready to be taken away when you woke up in the morning, leaving you utterly naked underneath the way too large top that sat just below mid thigh.
once you were completely refreshed, all remnants of fear stolen from you by the warmth of the water and the comfort of his presence, your bare feet padded back to the living room. he wasnât here, causing your eyes to narrow slightly in confusion before hearing a noise in the room adjacent, making your way over.
walking in, you were greeted by two things.
first, jungkookâs bedroom, which like him, was as manly as you imagined it to be. clean, precise, darker in colour and void of any real personality - a nagging, desperate little voice in your head practically screaming that it needed a womanâs touch. if only you knew the thought alone would have him cumming.
the second? jungkookâs naked back, littered with scars and muscle in places you didnât even realise one could have. to say he was big was a gross understatement, for he defined the very meaning of buff - wide shoulders, insane biceps, back rippling with every move.
you could feel yourself growing wet at the mere sight of him, a quiet little gasp leaving you, causing him to turn around, only for you to see his pecs, his abs. god, he was just massive all over, a sight for your already sore eyes indeed.
jungkook didnât say anything immediately, but he let out a deep grunt of appreciation at the sight of you. your bare legs, your wet hair; the way your hands were shuffling together. you looked like a vision.
had he been a better man, he would have guided you to the bed and walked out, designating to sleep on the couch but he had no intention of doing so. especially not when he could see your nipples poke straight through the cotton of his shirt, no doubt suggesting you had nothing underneath. his mouth watered at the thought of the sugary nectar inbetween your legs, could feel himself growing hard at the prospect.
âwhere do you want me to sleep?â you softly asked him, voice so gentle he wanted to ruin you.
that broke him from his trance, realising he was half hard just from looking at you. he felt like a fucking teenager, but could you blame him? you were his dream woman, circumstances and all, dolled up in his room like a present just for him.
âbed.â he muttered, nodding towards it which made you shyly play with your hair, watching him leave the room to no doubt go to the bathroom, his body brushing firmly against yours purposefully on the way out.
you closed your eyes for a moment once you were alone, heart beating fast, before walking over to the bed. you felt bad thinking he would take the couch, a little frown forming on your lips as you settled into the plush covers. another soft moan escaped you at the feel of such softness, the mattress delicate underneath you as you settled into it, feeling more comfortable than you ever had.
jungkook was back in a few minutes, also sporting wet hair suggesting he had just showered. this time, he returned merely in his boxers, a towel running through his locks as he examined you, all curled into the covers, not asleep just yet, as though you were waiting for confirmation from him.
fuck. he liked that. liked having you wait for him so he could decide your next move, like you were a little fawn unsure of what to do unless someone told you. heâd be that someone.
he watched as your eyes instantly fell to his bulge, eyes widening at the sheer size of it, your thighs pressed tightly together under his sheets as he approached you. he watched you stare at it, cock only hardening further at the attention, before pulling back the covers.
âoh..a-are you..sleeping here?â you managed to choke out, your tshirt having ridden up to sit at the tops of your thighs, big eyes peering up.
ânot sleeping on a couch in my own home.â he grunted back at you, before sliding in beside you.
a once massive bed suddenly felt claustrophobic as you realised why he needed the space, though you managed not to touch him, you shyly moved to your side, your back to him to give him his privacy, your cheeks painted pink at the implication.
you were sharing a bed with a stranger. a big, tall, tatted stranger who was currently hard as fuck, whilst you laid on your side, pussy soaked from his attention, body quivering.
he was on his back, body taking up a massive majority of the space in the bed and he was utterly shameless about it. you, however, had tried to make yourself as small as possible in the corner, body scrunched up, unable to sleep as your brain worked round and around and around and around and arou-
big, beefy arms suddenly were grabbing you, one on your leg, the other on your waist as you were suspended in the air for a moment or two. you squeaked loudly, stomach dropping at the confusion of being moved and in the air.
jungkook was grunting at you, his preferred method of communication as you were finally placed firmly onto his chest, stomach first. your t-shirt had ridden up to the middle of your back, meaning your bare ass was on display, causing jungkook to place his hand on it as though it was the most normal thing on earth.
the position also meant you were pressed against him intimately, with your wet cunt now pushed against his too large bulge, causing a soft whimper to escape you, right into his ear. your breasts weâre pushed against his chest, your head resting into his shoulder as you both settled in as though this was the most natural thing on earth.
âsleep. youâve had a long night.â his voice was rough, coarse, as though he too was fighting something.
as though the hand on your ass and the push of his weight, making you feel him intimately in every single way, was just as much punishment for him as it was for you. it was suffocating and you needed more, yearned for it.
your hands settled on his chest, your nose nuzzling into his neck as you nodded, eyes snapping shut. you truly were the picture perfect definition of obedience.
you werenât sure how long either of you stayed like that, unmoving, unspeaking, just the understanding you were truly no more than strangers seeping in as sleep finally took both of you.
â
the diner was equally as busy the next day, with a particular scent that wouldnât escape your skin no matter how hard you tried.
burnt oil soaked through the cracking walls, whilst the coffee that had been brewing for far too long sat in its pot, in your hand as you walked around the dining floor, filling mugs to whoever demanded more. you had disinfected the entire place with a cheap lemon solution that morning, the scent lingering slightly, causing you to feel nauseous.
you had been out of it all day.
you had woken up still in the same position as you had fallen asleep in, only this time, jungkookâs arms were hugging you tightly to him. one hand was curled into his hair, the other pressed into his chest, whilst you both slept deeply, safely.
you had slept better that night than any other in your entire lifetime. the feeling of protection was immense, and for the first time, your brain wasnât racing in anxiety all night - you were able to rest comfortably.
that only made it so much more jarring once you had left his apartment whilst he was still sleeping, wanting nothing more than to stay in his arms, sleep a few more hours, relish in the warmth he was so happily providing for you. you felt guilty leaving like that, but the constant thump in your head brought you back to reality.
you did not know him. he was a stranger.
that was what you were telling yourself anyway, knowing that the traitorous thump of your heart gave you away. you hadnât been focused all day, spilling drinks, dropping plates of food - your manager had been on your case your entire shift, the cooks even shouting at you at one point. you were utterly overwhelmed with jungkook and he wasnât even there.
your feet were aching, but you knew you only had 20 minutes left. 20 minutes and you could go home, no night shift, just a long day that would be over in less than half an hour. that gave you a sort of excitement you rarely afforded yourself, and despite the fact your cheap flats were digging into your feet, and your apron felt too tight, you couldnât wait.
that was until you heard a voice.
âare you fucking deaf? asked for a coffee 3 times now.â
you looked up from your spot behind the counter, meeting the gaze of the horrible, sleazy regular from yesterday, your blood running cold.
he usually only showed up in the late hour, and this was the first time you had see him during the day. it felt like a confirmation of some kind, one in which you had gathered he had either been watching you or was now looking closely, something that unsettled you. how else would he be here? why else?
you swallowed the thump in your throat, shaking hands grabbing the coffee pot and filling his mug as he sat at the diner bar, your eyes avoiding his at all costs.
âyou look tired.â he said through a yawn, making no attempt to hide the fact he was ogling your tits. âyour âboyfriendâ keep you up?â
you flinched at his words, knowing the implication - he still didnât believe you. that made you feel sick. you chose to ignore him, tending to something at the till, in hopes heâd leave you alone.
âdonât know if i believe ya, sweets. been thinking about what you said about him, construction guys donât go for girls like you.â he mused, as though he was the smartest man in the world, watching the way your hands shook lightly. âyouâre all shy and shit. what you know about pleasing a man?â
you felt heat crawl up your throat and down your spine, feeling a level of shame you couldnât quite place. you hated it. even reacting to a man like him was giving him power, and he relished in it.
âyou better be usinâ what you got.â he leaned back, hand openly palming himself as he grinned, dirty teeth on display. âtight little ass like yours? should let him use it or heâll start lookinâ elsewhere.â
you flinched once more, this time harsher.
âthatâs inappropriate.â you found your voice, though it was shaky, desperately looking over at your manager who was conveniently pretending like he couldnât hear a thing.
âiâm helpinâ you, sweets. should be grateful.â
your eyes narrowed. âyou donât know anything about me.â
at that, he leaned forward, grin even wider. it was sinister. âyeah? know you walk home all alone.â
your heart dropped.
âi see you.â he added. âlate. every night.â
you couldnât breathe. it felt like someone had grabbed your lungs, suffocating you from the inside and out, a confirmation of your wildest fears before your very eyes.
âsee, i like to watch who goes in and out of that building. got some buddies, and you know..bad area. should be careful.â he was all but fucking gleeful. âpretty girls like you, theyâre the most fun to play with.â
your hands were beginning to shake violently, as one reached for your phone, clumsily putting your password in, not being able to think.
âyou sure your boyfriends real?â he asked lazily. âor you just sayinâ that to throw me off the scent?â
âi have one.â you immediately interjected, panic visible in your voice, desperate to be believed. âhe doesnât like when i talk to other men, so..â you pathetically whispered, turning on your heel and immediately going into the back, where the staff room was located.
you didnât come out for the rest of your shift, your chest in a panic, hands shaking and eyes leaking tears once more. he had been watching you? did that mean something could have happened had you returned to your unit last night, instead of staying with jungkook?
you couldnât believe this was a reality, and the fact you knew you had no escape plan was even worse. you couldnât move out, you didnât have the funds, and it was a terrifying thought to know you were simply waiting to be violated. the thought alone had you crying into your hands, shakily hovering over jungkookâs contact.
you didnât want to bother him. he owed you nothing, and you had already taken so much from him.
with that, you grabbed your things and snuck out the back, beginning the 10 minute walk back home.
jungkook had been in the same position as you all day. his work was rendered useless, and considering he had well paying clients, it was enough to drive him to the point of anger. every thought, every crevice of the world around him brought him back to you, how youâd slotted against him so easily last night, so pliant and ready. to then wake up to an empty bed and a wet patch on his boxers from where you were both pressed together was frustrating to say the least - he wanted to wake up to the sight of you.
he had every intention of sitting you down, telling you to leave your job, telling you exactly what he could offer you if you just let him. hell, he would do it against your will too if you kept this shit up, more than ready to fund a lifestyle you had only ever dreamt of.
he was outside the building now, loading up his truck with shit he had been using all day, his tools, extra pieces of wood he had no use for at the minute and what not. his hands were beyond rough, calloused from daily use but that was the payoff for working with them carelessly. he couldnât help but remember the feel of them on your ass, squeezing all night, sometimes dipping lower subconsciously just to hear you whine in your sleep.
fuck, he was half hard again just remembering it, but half annoyed recalling the way you had just left.
he was taken out of his thoughts when he looked to his right, just as you walked into the apartment complex, not seeing him, tears streaming down your face once more and shoulders sagging as though walking alone was too exhausting for you. he felt his chest break into tiny little pieces at the sight, it was enough to anger him for a completely different reason.
he was walking towards you before he could even rationalise it, a hand slipping over your waist within seconds and pushing your back straight into his chest, his bigger frame engulfing you. you let out a strangled gasp, looking down and visibly melting fully as you noticed the tattoos on his hand, letting out a quiet whimper.
âwhat happened?â jungkook immediately asked, the two of you stood in front of the building.
your tears wouldnât stop streaming, your breathing already difficult as your bag dropped from your shoulder. your hands instantly went to cover your face, as you broke out into quiet sobs, body raking in his arms. the exhaustion had finally got to you.
your brain had broken.
jungkook didnât waste any time. he grabbed you fully, picking you up with a single arm, to which you immediately hid your face in his neck, holding onto him as you ruined his uniform with your body shaking sobs. your bag was in his other hand whilst he made his way to his own apartment, not saying anything but simply allowing you to get the bulk of your emotions out, before walking in, and settling you down onto his couch.
âtalk to me.â suddenly, you were in his lap, completely cradled by the older, bigger man as though you were a little baby, and your body moved closer in hopes of more comfort.
it took you a while until you were able to speak, holding the sleeves of his jacket desperately, his large hands on your back and cupping your legs to him. he was soothing you with his presence, patting gently to get you to calm down and soon enough you did, unable to look him in the eye, feeling embarrassed enough that you had done this two days in a row now.
âthe guy from the diner came..came back and..â you breathed deeply through your hiccups, his forehead now against yours, making sure you could feel him. âtold me he watches..the building..knows i walk home alone and, said he knows..said he knows people from the building.â
the more you recounted, the more restless you became as you began to sob once more, your hands covering your face again. his anger was beyond anything he could describe, he could feel it coursing through his veins as though it was part of his dna, the need to protect you stronger than every other emotion.
âlook at me.â he managed to say, voice strangled, causing you to do exactly as he said, despite your shaking body.
âyouâre not going back upstairs, you hear me? iâm gonna go get your things, and youâre staying here.â
you startled for a moment, eyes narrowing up at him in confusion. what did he mean?
âbut thatâs my apartment..â
âitâs a fucking shoebox with a busted lock.â he hissed.
âjungkook, i canât just..â you shook your head, your shaking hands piled at his chest whilst he pulled you closer, nose nuzzling yours for just a moment to gather himself. âyou can. what do you need from it, and iâll grab shit.â
you shook your head, pushing him away lightly despite it being the last thing you wanted him to do, and he knew that. your hands were now tightening against the material of his jacket, tears streaming, eyes wide and head shaking.
âthis is crazy. you donât even know me and i donât even know you.â you said through another half sob. âi canât stay here, okay? youâll get sick of me, and..and iâll annoy you, or youâll wake up, and..and youâre gonna..youâre gonna decide it was a mistake and i..â
he simply stared at you, eyes narrowing dangerously. if he had felt anger at the situation before, now it was beginning to direct at you.
he exhaled sharply. âstop.â
you let out another shaky sob at his command, head dropping to his shoulder, the confusion in your mind so clear. it wasnât that you didnât want it, but you didnât feel worthy of it. all you had ever known was abuse, from the moment you were born until this very second - happiness was foreign to you, a notion you truly believed wasnât in the cards for you, and to have someone openly wish to shelter you felt confusing.
âiâll bother you, i know it.â the voice in which you admitted your darkest fear had him tightening his grip on you.
suddenly, your positions had changed. you were no longer on his lap, cradled, but instead, on your back laid on the couch, with your hands positioned above your head and jungkookâs entire body hovering over you. he was rendering you useless, and you couldnât bring yourself to fight it.
âlisten to me, y/n.â his eyes were dark. âi work all day, like a fucking dog, breakinâ my back doing all this shit, fucking my body up. you think i do that for fun?â
you shook your head in a little no, still crying.
âgot all this money, got a nice job, stopped doing all that bad work that gets me in trouble, no back door shit. do it so when i got myself a lady, she rests good, you hear me?â his voice was rough, almost mean. âso she donât have to lift a fucking finger a day in her life.â
your chest tightened at the notion, and a subconscious part of you screamed inside, begging to be the very woman he was discussing; yearning.
âyou move here, and you do nothing. donât want you working, donât want you doing anything other than lookinâ pretty. donât want a single thought in that brain ever again, unless itâs when i take you out, or when you want something.â
his head pressed against yours, the conviction behind his voice causing you to quiver. you had stopped sobbing now, reduced to silent tears that continued to stream, your cute nose all pink and the fucked up part of him was fighting the fact his cock was hardening at the sight.
âiâm gonna go upstairs, gonna get your shit, and you donât do nothing, understand me? donât think about rent, or food, or sleep - you donât stress about nothing no more.â
âbut why?â you asked through a shaky breath, sucking in air as you hiccuped, a pool of wetness forming on either side of your head from how much you were crying. âyou donât even get anything out of it.â
he doesnât hesitate. âi get you.â
at that, a strangled noise left you, your eyes shutting tightly as your heart thudded harshly in your chest. he wanted you? truly? even without the frills, even without you being able to offer anything real, or tangible?
âi get to take care of you, spend my money on you, get you in my bed every night where you canât run off before i wake up.â he grunted down at you, grabbing one of your hands from above your head and pressing it firmly against the growing bulge in his work trousers. âyou feel that? feel how fucking hard i get just thinking about it, baby?â
you nodded through your sniffles, hiccuping a few times as your hand gently massaged his cock, the layers of clothing dulling the sensation but it was enough to have him press his head against yours once more, cooing at you. his hand slid on top of your own, pushing it harder, and despite the action being intensely sexual, it felt intimate more than anything.
âcouldnât get bored of you, wouldnât ever. look at you..fuck. were meant to be spoilt, not built to be working out there and stressinâ. need to lock you up here so you never worry again.â
again, you nodded, more desperate, whining out for him as both of your hands interlocked with his. the one above your head, sweet and reassuring, and the other, massaging his cock, demanding and grounding. you were his, and it was only then that you realised it - strangers or not.
the next hour was spent with you washing up in the bathroom, having the longest shower of your life, crying all of the remnants of your emotions out whilst jungkook went upstairs, grabbing your things. considering your situation, it took him no longer than ten minutes, something deep pinging in his stomach knowing you had never even tasted luxury. heâd change that.
by the time he had come back down, he was settling your things into your now shared room, watching as you shuffled out in another one of his t-shirts, wet hair, big teary eyes and an unsure demeanour. he took his time with you then, arm around your waist so you could watch him work, putting things away like it was second nature.
he left you curled up all nice and warm on the couch, blankets covering you whilst he gave you the remote, urging you to watch something. he had shit to do.
first, he was going to cancel your lease and threaten your landlord.
second? he was going to fuck up the man who had scared you.
â
two weeks.
two weeks of living a life you were sure was never supposed to be yours.
from sleeping as much as you wanted, and eating whatever your heart desired, jungkook was spoiling you rotten. the glee in his eyes every time he could see a small smile form on your face was enough to render you a mess.
youâd wake every morning flush to his chest, with your bodies pressed together intimately, his hard cock poking against your own panties in a way that had you breathless. on one occasion, you had woken up to find yourself all but grinding against him, only aware of it once you realised you were orgasming, causing your cheeks to flush a deep plum.
he fucking loved it. finally, everything made sense, his life has purpose, tangible purpose. the sight of you on his couch, resting on your stomach with your bare ass to the door just as he would walk into the apartment was enough to drive him insane - it was the sight heâd masturbate to daily. he didnât want to push you, he was enough of a gentleman to know it wasnât right to push his needs on you, and he was trying. god knew he had put every bit of his restraint into his situation.
you were both dancing a fine line of evident need and want, yet one couldnât admit it to themselves and the other didnât want to push.
the first night was the moment you realised that jungkook wasnât any ordinary man. all of the kindness aside, it was when you awoke from the nap on his couch to him walking back into the apartment that you realised he was indeed every bit of the man you wanted.
bloody knuckles, and a slight bruise already forming on his cheek, he had walked over to you and pressed a kiss to your forehead, telling you everything was now taken care of. your rent, the piece of shit that had been scaring you, hell, even your nasty manager who made it a habit to be rude to you.
you had washed his knuckles yourself, sniffling away your tears whilst apologising for being so weepy. he simply nuzzled his nose into your forehead, grunting something about how he liked it. liked how you wore your emotions openly and how honest you were about your feelings. it felt refreshing.
after that, he made it a habit to break any wandering thought left in your brain. heâd wake up to you all curled into his body, making him leave kisses all over your hands and cheeks whilst you slept, leaving you to go to work. heâd think about you the entire day, only to return to you with different boxes of food for you to try so you could find out what your favourite cuisines were.
in two weeks, jungkook made you feel more seen and recognised than you had ever felt in the past 24 years.
you still felt awfully shy in his presence. just yesterday, he had taken you out shopping, your hand tucked gently into his arm as you both walked up and down the high street. you shook your head vehemently as he tried to get you to go into the expensive, designer shops, your heart practically failing out of guilt just thinking about it.
âbuy what you want.â heâd say to you, or, âdonât look at the price.â
you had once done so, picking out a lipstick marginally cheaper than the ones you could see in hopes that it would satiate him. he saw right through it, his eyes narrowing down at you as you shuffled from foot to foot, unable to meet his gaze.
âdonât annoy me. get something good.â
and so, youâd leave with bags upon bags of things, with flushed cheeks and a thundering heart.
his favourite shop, obviously, was victoria secret. you had clung to him almost desperately out of shyness, often hiding your face in his chest whenever heâd hold up a pair that he thought were nice. he let you browse, watching you shakily pick out a pair or two before you peered up at him, large eyes shining.
âwhich ones do you like?â you had whispered, so sweet, so inviting that he swore he could have came right then and there.
his arm around your waist tightened as he looked down at you, jaw clenched slightly at the way you had asked him. maybe it was the genuine curiosity that stemmed from you that had him guiding you to a cute, lacy pink pair. he bought them for you immediately, leaving you a flushing mess.
going home, eating together, curled together as you watched things, his legs spread wide whilst he played with your hair. it felt domestic. it felt freeing, and frankly, it felt like everything you had ever prayed for. something in the back of your mind screamed at you, reminding you that you still didnât know enough about him, that he was no more than just a random man a month ago and yet here you were.
and so, here you sat, at the dining table with your legs crossed. it was 2pm, so jungkook was well within his work day, leaving you at home with a racing mind and shaking hands. you wanted to do something for him, something to show him just how grateful you were for all of the kindness he had bestowed upon you.
you grabbed your phone, embarrassment heavy in your chest as you began searching in anything that came to mind.
âhow to keep a man happyâ
you frowned at the results, not finding anything that applied to jungkook in particular.
âhow to be a good girlfriendâ
you flushed furiously writing that one out, but you knew it was the closest equivalent to the relationship you had with him. even then, all the results catered to people that didnât align with jungkookâs personality. you sighed.
âhow to please a man that takes care of youâ
now this, this was different. you sat up, seeing multiple different hits but the one thing you kept seeing over and over was the same line. you shuffled in anticipation, eyes reading it continuously, biting down on your lip.
âkeep his stomach fed, and his balls empty.â you whispered out loud, repeating what you had read.
your cheeks flamed red as you shut your phone, setting it down like you had an audience around you, feeling a level of embarrassment creep up your neck. that..that felt fitting. you knew he loved his food, was always eating with a can of beer whenever he got a chance.
you also knew him to be hard nearly every instance he got. you werenât an idiot, you had felt it against you to know that you probably couldnât take him fully without prep, but the thought had your eyes shutting tight, a small whine leaving you - you wanted him just as bad.
soon enough, you had decided on your plan of action. you got changed, grabbing the card jungkook had given you and quickly made your way to the grocery store, hand shaking around your phone as you searched in popular dishes. you figured a steak would do, since you knew most men enjoyed meat, despite knowing you had never really cooked before.
you stood in front of the meat section hopelessly, shyly asking the workers there a million questions until a lovely older lady walked you around the shop, telling you how to prepare it, what ingredients to use, pushing you to purchase the more expensive options as âyou could taste it in every bite.â
waddling home, you steadied yourself as you put everything in the kitchen, wrapping your new apron around you tight. you were determined. you wouldnât fail, not when this was for jungkook, not when he had done so much for you.
hours had passed, and you were finishing up the last details of the dinner. the table had been set, with candles and plates positioned in a way you had seen in a youtube video. you had his favourite beer chilled and ready, even going the extra mile to have a shower, do your hair and makeup using the products he had bought you. you still had your apron on, knowing heâd love the sight of the cute frilly material around you.
your hair was clipped behind your head as you heard the door unlock, causing you to squeak quietly, gathering everything together as quickly as you could.
jungkook had had the longest day of his entire existence. from clients taking the piss, to fixing rushed jobs from other men in the industry. he had even had a phone call from an old friend, asking to stash some cash - it came with a hefty profit, but he had to decline, despite it souring the relationship. he had his girl waiting back home for him, and he had to make sure he was on the right track. no more illegal shit, no matter what that meant for the legacy he had built in his twenties.
walking inside his home, only to find you nervously smiling at him, was enough to take the wind out of his lungs. looking down, however, and seeing the full home cooked spread, was enough to have a man like him on his knees.
âhi..â you shyly grinned, hands shuffling.
âwhatâs this?â he asked, putting his tools down, uniform heavy as he approached you.
the sound of his keys dropping on the dish you had placed by the entrance made you jump slightly, as you nibbled away on your lip. he approached you, standing in front of you, eyes never leaving your own.
âi just..you do so much for me and, iâm so grateful and i wanna take care of you too.â your voice was no louder than a whisper, almost flushed at the admission as you immediately reached for his jacket, playing with the buttons, peering up at him. âitâs okay if you donât like it, i just thought it would be nice for you to have something home cooked.â
he grunted, deep from his chest as his face fell into the space between your neck and shoulder, breathing in your scent. his hands were roaming all over your stomach, your hips, your waist, a soft giggle finding its way out of your lips at his reaction. it made you giddy to think he was enjoying this.
âyou cooked all this?â he asked, walking towards the table, dragging you along with him, to which you lightly bounced, nodding. âwent to the shops, and asked the nice lady and she told me what to get and she said that youâd like steak and she showed me what video to follow-â you rambled.
he was enamoured by you, taking a seat at the head of the table, where you had positioned all of his plates. instead of moving towards your own seat, he grabbed your waist once more and pulled you firmly until you fell into his lap, your tiny dress doing little to provide modesty as you curled into him.
you watched him intently cut a piece, big eyes peering at him as he took a bite.
âyou really made this?â he asked you, hand harsh on your thigh.
you offered him a shy nod, anxiety swirling in your stomach. it was okay if he didnât like it, but the thought made you want to weep - this was supposed to be all for him. you didnât want to mess it up.
âgood girl.â he murmured, before cutting up a piece for you, watching as you ate from the same fork, a look of pure glee across your face.
his words had you leaning into him properly as you both ate, his grunts of approval worth a million words as you recounted how you cooked it, all whilst he listened carefully and ate. you truly couldnât have been happier with yourself, your fingers curling into the hair behind his neck.
he had finished his plate, but was now properly feeding you, and despite a shake of your head, was making sure you finished your plate. the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, your arms around him and his around yours, breathing in one anotherâs scent.
he was so manly all over, the faint smell of sweat alongside his cologne and skin was intoxicating and you wanted it ingrained in your mind forever.
âwell done.â he murmured down at you, soft for a change, causing you to look up.
the smile that formed on your lips was enough for him to dedicate his entire life to praising you, wanting to see it every single day for the rest of his life. he couldnât fathom how lucky he was to have the object of his desires all pretty, in a cute apron and dress; cooking for him, just so heâd feel good. fuck.
âiâm happy you liked it.â you admitted in a small voice. âi really wanted to make it good for you.â
âyou donât have to do anything, y/n.â
âi know, you always say that but i just..i wanna, okay?â you shook your head, nibbling away at your lip once again.
his thumb darted out, capturing your lip and releasing it from your teeth. god, he couldnât get enough of how cute you were, looking up at him like that. his thumb pushed against your lips for a moment, letting it sit on your tongue, watching the way you wrapped your mouth around it.
the moment was gone within a second as he pulled back, a sudden look on his face you couldnât decipher. before you could ponder on it, his lips finally connected with your own.
kissing jungkook was unlike anything you had ever expected. you knew him to be dominant, direct and manly, but this? he was all but devouring you. it wasnât gentle like first kisses often tended to be, but demanding - rough. his lips moved against yours like he owned you, and you deflated immediately, letting him do whatever he wanted to you. your hands were in his hair, tugging him closer, your legs moving around him to now straddle instead of just sitting.
the second his tongue began exploring your mouth, you couldnât hold back the moans.
he kissed like a man starved, his hands running up and down your body, cupping your ass, your breasts, before settling on your waist, chasing you every time you pulled away for breath.
by the time you had fully managed to depart from his lips, you were panting, eyes lidded and heart beating faster than you could keep up with. your hands slid from his hair down to his chest, as he captured your lips in small pecks.
jungkook could feel the day washing off of him. the dinner, your excitement, the kiss - fuck, even the thought of you paying for all of the things you wanted at the grocery shop with his card. he was visibly melting, more relaxed than heâd allowed himself to be in years and it was a sight for you too.
âgo shower.â you whispered lightly to him, pecking his lips. âiâm gonna clean up.â
he simply nodded, capturing your lips in another heavy kiss that lasted far too long before letting out a grunt, setting you on your feet, and heading to the bathroom.
you stood there for a moment, eyes fluttering closed and breathing out through your nose.
god, you were so fucked.
â
later that evening, jungkook sat in front of the tv, legs spread, a can of beer in hand and the game playing loudly. he was the picture perfect image of relaxation, in a pair of sweats and a white tank, his hair still wet from his earlier shower, he truly didnât think life could get better than this. he had jumped you the second he had gotten out, smothering you in as many kisses as he could get in before you started pushing him away, flushed pink and giddy.
his cock had been straining against his sweats for hours.
you, however, were a slight nervous wreck.
you stood near the edge of your now shared bed, nibbling away on your lip as you looked at yourself in the mirror. you had showered yourself, dried your hair, even did your makeup really nice. you were in a tank and tiny little cotton shorts, but underneath? the pink underwear he had bought you.
your only objective tonight was to make him cum.
a shaky breath left you as you ran your hand through your hair, making sure you looked okay. you wanted to make him feel good, wanted it more than anything else in the world, and you knew that once you started, the door would be wide open and your relationship would completely change.
you werenât sure how many more times you could withstand the feeling of not quite being able to satisfy yourself. being home alone for most days, waiting for him to return with the thought of him heavy on your mind and mouth, trying to keep your hands out of the space inbetween your legs was impossible.
waking up to his boner pressing into you? unfair.
you knew he wanted this badly, maybe even more than you did, but he wasnât about to push that on you given your strange dynamic. luckily for him, you were heeding the internetâs advice - you had fed him, now you were ready to drain his balls.
and so, you walked into the living room, his eyes completely trained on the tv as you sat beside him on the couch, not looking up at you. his hand, however, sat high on your bare thigh immediately, all whilst his cock strained against his clothes.
you glanced at him from the corner of your eye, noticing him taking a swig of his beer, attention entirely on the game playing, easing your nerves massively. you shifted, his hand dropping from your thigh as you began your plan of action.
jungkook finally looked at you, only to catch you pulling your hair up into a ponytail. he would have thought nothing of it had it not been for your outfit, your pretty lipstick, the way you looked like you were ready to be fucking used. his lips parted as he watched you drop to your knees in front of him, innocent eyes no longer feeling as naive as he once thought.
before he could even say anything, your smaller hands began reaching for his waistband, fingers hooking until you were able to push them down enough for his fat cock to spring free.
he watched you gasp. watched you take in his length and girth, a fucked up part of his brain eager to break you finally as you blinked away your visible fear. he wasnât just big, he was monstrous. the type of cock to break you from the inside, the type to hurt and make you sore for days. the type that had you moaning just at the sight of it.
your hand finally wrapped around it, although your fingers didnât touch and that alone had your head dropping to his thigh, mouth already drooling.
âso pretty.â you whimpered up at him, causing him to jolt in your grip, a low grunt filling the air. âgonna break yourself trying to make it fit in your mouth.â he nudged your chin with his fingers, his words condescending but they only made you wetter.
a surge of confidence ran through you as you huffed up at him, tongue laying flat as you let his cock tap against it a few times, licking up all the salted beads of precum. soon enough, you were suckling at his tip, moaning and circling your tongue.
his hand shot to the back of your head with a loud curse, his eyes closed. he hadnât had anyone warming his bed in months upon months, and now that he had you, he knew no one else would ever be good enough.
watching you finally begin to suck and bob your head was enough to have him pushing down your head, forcing you to accommodate another inch or two. it made you gag, but the wet patch forming on your shorts was proof enough you liked it. your hands pumped the rest of his cock in unison as you eagerly sucked, whimpering against the most sensitive part of him.
âfuck, look at you.â he hissed out loud, continuing to bob your head. âwanted this from day one, didnât you?â
you parted from his cock for air, gasping lightly as you pumped him faster, nodding despite already feeling lightheaded. god, jungkook had barely begun and you were already so needy - he yearned to know what youâd be like once he finally impaled you fully.
âwanted it so bad.â you admitted through a small voice, eyes never leaving his as you tapped his cock onto your tongue again a few times before opening your mouth and starting it again.
this time, jungkook pushed your head down further and further, watching his cock disappear down your throat until you couldnât take anymore, pulling off for breath once more, your shattered gasps and gulps enough for him to cup your cheek.
âthatâs my girl, look at you.â his coos were hardly sweet, with a clear edge to them as you bounced your head up and down, sucking him with all of your energy. he swore, throwing his head back. âshouldâve done this a long time ago. look how good you look choking on me.â
your legs were quivering with want, wanting nothing more than to play with your clit in that moment but focusing on him regardless. jungkook was already close, and as much as he wanted to paint your throat in his cum, he had no intentions of cumming anywhere other than your fucking womb.
suddenly; his hands on your head were pulling at your hair, forcing you off of his cock as you panted for air, chest rising and falling. your lips were covered in spit, and yet you looked like a vision made just for him, his cock tweaking at the sight of you.
he forced you to get up, which you happily did, falling onto the couch beside him as he grabbed onto your legs, hand grabbing your shorts and harshly pulling them down only to be met with the pink lacy set he had been thinking of all day.
his silence was met with a shaky giggle from as you spread your legs once more, your panties absolutely soaked through, and yet you wanted more.
âi hope you like them.â you hummed, as he began to hover over you. âwanted to wear them for you.â
âyeah?â he groaned quietly, fingers tracing the shape of your pussy through them. âfuck, youâre tiny. iâm gonna break you, you know that?â
âpromise?â you whispered back, causing his eyes to flicker back to you, his cock jolting.
you were a secret minx.
his lips were on yours within seconds, tasting himself on your tongue as he devoured you, moving against you with utter ease. instead of taking your panties off, he simply moved them to the side, pulling your tank down to reveal your tits spilling out of your matching lacy bra. pink was a colour he wanted you in every waking moment, you looked better than he could have ever imagined.
his hand was on you immediately, fingers rubbing away at your clit causing you to whimper at the feel of relief finally. you were wound up so tight anyway, to have someone touching you after so so long was a feeling you had forgotten. to be touched by jungkook was a whole other ballpark.
you both moaned into each otherâs mouths as your hand began to pump him, bodies moving in unison as you focused on pleasuring one another. it only took a few minutes for you to succumb to your first orgasm, loud moans leaving your lips as you shook in his arms.
he watched you hungrily, his brain chemistry changing before for your very eyes.
this is what you looked like cumming.
oh. how had he lived? how had he survived a life without your face scrunching up, whining out his name so pathetically, legs shaking around him whilst your hand only gripped him tighter.
it wasnât enough, though. never. he allowed you a moment or two of rest before circling your clit once more, watching you jostle in overstimulation. his fingers were inside you without any prior warning, pumping as he heard you whine loudly.
âj-jungkook!â you shrieked, hand falling from his aching cock as you grabbed onto his shoulders, grounding yourself.
âfuck, there you go. câmon.â he was hissing down at you, fingering you deep, bigger than anything you had taken in a while.
the stretch was delicious, and you already felt so full - you couldnât even fathom being fucked by his cock, but the thought had your hips lifting for more.
jungkook coaxed two more orgasms out of you just like that, leaving you a shaky and dazed mess, before removing his fingers, sucking on them with a loud grunt. he went to move inbetween your legs, to make good work of the slick dripping from you only to be stopped by your smaller hands.
âwant you.â you whimpered with a shake of your head. âdonât wanna wait anymore.â
âneed to stretch you baby, youâre still tight.â he shook his head back at you, grabbing your legs and pulling you closer.
âno.â you huffed, voice suddenly bratty. âyou said youâd give me anything i want..â
he closed his eyes at that, cock throbbing. fuck, you already knew his weak spots, and he had every intention of making you feel it just as deeply as he could. he departed from you entirely, leaning back, pulling you up by your arms firmly.
âget on the bed.â he simply uttered to you, voice dark. he was so firm, so direct - his words sat in your stomach as you shakily did exactly that, leaning on the walls as you wobbled your way over.
even in moments of heightened passion, he couldnât get over how tooth achingly sweet you were.
you laid on the bed, head plush on your shared pillows as you managed to catch your breath. jungkook walked in, hair a mess, shoulders sore from the scratches you had left behind, cock hard and against his stomach as he approached. neither of you could look away from one another, as he grabbed your hips and yanked you down closer to him, hovering over you immediately.
âgive me a kiss.â he hushed down at you, causing you to lean up, pressing a sweet peck to his lips. you were so cute to him.
he lined himself up with you, rubbing his cock up and down, causing you to whine, the size of him against you already addicting. soon, he started to push in, the tip of his cock already stretching you wider than anything you had ever taken.
jungkook hovering over you, his arms caging you in other side of your head as he pushed deeper, deeper and deeper. you could feel your thighs quivering, your wide eyes shutting tight as you felt you couldnât breathe by the time he was half way in. he wasnât fairing any better. this was out of his wildest dreams, panting on top of you, cooing down at you.
âmy good girl, so so good to me. look at you taking it so well. were born to take me, werenât you baby?â he cooed down, causing you to whimper as you could feel the familiar sting of tears forming in your eyes.
you nodded, sucking in a shaky breath as your arms wrapped around his neck. âs-so big.â
he hissed as he continued to push inside, managing to fit his entire length in after multiple minutes. you were breathing deeply, chest rising and falling as jungkook waited for you to settle down, watching the way your stomach bulged from the intrusion.
âyou can take it.â he assured, hand pressing down on your stomach, against the bulge causing you to shriek loudly, eyes closing tight again. tears were beginning to stream, and he could feel himself getting harder.
âyou c-can..can move.â you whimpered out.
with seconds, jungkook began to thrust.
if you thought you had experienced pleasure before, you were sorely mistaken.
you knew then that nothing would ever feel like this, nothing could compete or compare - this was everything your body has subconsciously craved for years, given to you by the much older, stranger who had taken you in for his own.
the pain was overshadowed by the thrill and pleasure, his deep thrusts hitting a sponge part of you that was already pulling you closer and closer to the edge. your tears were streaming as he rested his head against your own.
âneeded this from you, baby. been thinking about you for so long, you know that?â he grunted out loud. ânow youâre all mine..all mine to fuck.â
âyours..all y-yours, kook.â you nodded vigorously, hands pulling at his hair. âfeel so big.â
he hid his face in your neck as his pace began to quicken, causing you to borderline scream out his name. you didnât care who could hear you, the feeling of being pounded into by a cock too big for you euphoric. he couldnât get enough of you, the taste of your skin on his tongue as he sucked on your neck, leaving heavy hickeys to mark you for the entire world to see.
you couldnât hold back on the sobs, crying out from the overstimulation; the pleasure, the stinging pain. it was too much and not enough, at one point finding yourself even beating your fists against his chest, only causing him to fuck you harder.
soon enough, jungkook flipped you around, so you were on your stomach, his chest pressing harshly on your back. you could barely move in this position, couldnât breathe very well either, merely forced to endure the pleasure of jungkook taking care of you. your shallow breaths alongside the chant of his name were like music to his ears, as he kissed and bit on your shoulders.
âmy girl. gonna make you my wife, you know that?â he promised down at you, pounding at this point.
âdonât..say that.â you gasped loudly, his words making you clench harshly around his cock, clearly liking it far too much than you wanted to admit.
you had been in house for two weeks and yet the thought of this treatment for life, belonging to jungkook for the rest of your days, was enough to make you sob in joy. your cheek was smushed into the pillow, as you grabbed onto the sheets for life, only for him to intertwine his fingers with your own from behind.
âyou like that, huh..â he let out a small laugh. âwanna be my wife, pretty girl? wanna be mrs jeon?â
you were clenching uncontrollably, only edging him closer to his own orgasm.
âfuck..just like that.â he grunted. âgonna wake up to a ring on your finger one of these days. donât give a fuck that itâs too soon, gotta make sure you get what this is.â he was picking your body up from the bed, your ass in the air suddenly as his thrusts only got more brutal. âyou belong to me, you understand? every part of you, all mine.â
âwanâit.â you admitted, through a small sob. âwanna be your wife, kookie, want it so so bad.â
âyeah?â he closed his eyes at your admission. âgod. need to get you a house, make sure you decorate it just how you like. gotta spoil you like my wife deserves.â
you were seeing stars, the sound of skin slapping against skin louder than either of your whines, moans or sobs. he slid one of his hands down, circling your clit once more despite the fact you were already a bundle of over sensitivity.
at that, you squealed loudly.
âgonna cum soon, gonna fill this pussy up just like you deserve. get you all nice and round for me.â his words cut through you like a knife, causing you to lose your breath.
âplease, please, please.â you begged, through harsh sobs. âcum inside, kookie, please, wanna have your baby.â
you couldnât take it any longer. the movement of his fingers, the harshness of cock, the way you could feel his entire weight on your much smaller body - you could hardly breathe as your orgasm hit you like a freight train, rendering you useless.
you completely blacked out, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you choked lightly, only causing jungkook to orgasm himself. he buried himself deep inside you with a final thrust, feeling you clench and milk him for all that he had.
the shared orgasm was unlike anything you had ever experienced before. it felt the closest to euphoria youâd ever felt, and you knew the feeling was mutual with the way the usually stoic, manly man on top of you was moaning into your shoulder, fucking you both through your orgasms.
he settled on top of you for a solid minute, still inside of you, repositioning you so you could breathe freely. he was breathing in your scent, his shoulders sagging as though the full stress of the day had finally escaped you. it was like he could breathe again, having bared his entire soul to you mid thrust only for it to be reciprocated in the filthiest of ways.
your eyes remained closed, even after he pulled out, and pushed his cum back into you with his fingers, secretly praying it would stick. you were a panting, dazed mess as he picked you up and took you to the bathroom, drawing you a bath all the whilst holding you firmly into his arms, not letting you worry about a single thing.
and once you were settled in, warm bubble coated water surrounding you as you nuzzled deeper and deeper into jungkookâs chest, only then did you open your eyes, meeting his gaze with parted lips.
âdid you mean it?â you whispered quietly, almost afraid of his answer.
he didnât respond to you at first. instead, he brushed a wet thumb over your cheek, watching the way you nuzzled into his cheek gently. he was were enamoured by you, both body and soul, and if he was a man of words, he would have professed his feelings for you grandly. alas, he was not, so instead, he did the next best thing.
jungkook took a hold of your left hand, easing it to his lips and planting a sweet kiss to your ring finger, right where he promised he would decorate it with jewellery soon.
he meant every fucking word.
â
three months had passed and welcomed pure bliss into your life. you knew that life with jungkook was a pleasure in itself, but from moving into a completely new home, one he had put under your name as a testimony of his love for you, to the ridiculously expensive gifts he would come home with each and every day. you were living a reality that you couldnât have ever dreamt would belong to you.
you looked healthier - from your long hair to your flushed cheeks, your eyes brighter and your ribcage no longer poking out. you were head over heels in love with the man who had claimed you for his own like a modern day stalker, and yet you had never felt so sure of your safety.
jungkook loved in a way that was visible, not explicit. he wasnât one to tell you those three words, instead opting to show you any change he would get, something that had you weeping constantly out of pure joy. something he couldnât ever get over.
you liked the dynamic you had built for each other too. you got to play house, spending all of your time being domestic, cooking meals, trying new recipes, baking, adding furnishings to the home, making it completely and entirely your own whilst he went out and worked. he was a manual labour kind of guy, coming home with sweat lined skin and grease all over him, but that only made you want him so much more.
to know he worked so hard just to provide the picture perfect life for you had you riding him most nights, giving him the love he bestowed upon you in the best possible way you knew how. through milking his cock until his cum sat deep in your womb, a favourite pastime for you both.
even now, you were stood in your kitchen, phone in hand as you read the text jungkook had sent to you only moments prior. he never texted. ever.
your stomach flipped as you reread it over and over, trying to decipher the meaning for the text, instead of him calling you, your head tilted as your stomach sat doing somersaults.
âdonât cook. bringing you something home.â
seemed innocent enough, but this was your man. you knew him intimately in a way many could only ever dream of - he was up to no good, you were sure of it.
you stared at the screen longer than you needed to, chewing on your bottom lip, bare feet cold against the kitchen tile. the apartment was quiet, save from the soft music playing from your tv, warm lighting dancing around your shared space whilst the low hum of the city rumbled through the walls.
you were already cooking. of course you were.
you liked when he came home to food, a visual manifestation of the fact you had been waiting for him to arrive - a kiss to his soul that told him directly that you wanted him to know you were thinking of him.
regardless, you turned the stove off, forever obedient to your older boyfriend.
you were in a matching loungewear set, soft and pink, his favourite duo as the shorts barely covered your ass, your breasts bulging out of the low cut t-shirt thanks to the pretty bra you were wearing. your hair remained damp from your shower, clipped up and out of your face, skin soft and flushed.
you checked the time.
like clockwork, the door began to open, making you look up, smoothening the strands around your face. after all the moments spent together, you still felt so incredibly shy in his presence, something he would never get over.
his footsteps were heavy down the hallway, weight against hardwood, announcing his presence with every creak of the floor. the air changed the second he stepped inside of kitchen, as though the temperature warped to accommodate him and him alone.
he shut the door behind him with his foot, looking you up and down hungrily as he placed a brown bag on the dining table unceremoniously.
âyou eat?â
his voice was rough from the day.
you shook your head gently. âno..waited for you.â
he glanced at the stove, noticing the cooling pan and your sheepish little smile. he tilted his head.
âtold you not to cook.â
âi turned it off.â you murmured just as he grunted softly. you walked over to him, helping him out of his work jacket; watching as his veins protruded from his arms, making you trace them immediately as a small habit.
you peered up, standing on your tip toes to plant a soft peck to his lips, with blazing cheeks that flushed too pink for the occasion.
he watched you for another instance, enamoured by you as per usual but there was something unreadable in his gaze. something darker, something raw that had been left untouched for too long, like a glass of water finally over spilling after being continuously poured into. you tilted your head at him gently.
you barely noticed it at first, too busy maintaining the intense eye contact, but jungkook reached into his pocket, grabbing something.
you watched as he placed something on the counter inbetween you.
something small.
velvet.
square.
the world suddenly fell completely silent as your eyes fell on it, your mouth completely drying up as your hands travelled up to your mouth. your breath had caught so sharply it left an ache in your chest.
your pulse thrummed harshly in your fingertips as you stared, and stared and stared, unable to bring yourself to open what you assumed was insane, unable to fathom this was a reality.
jungkook didnât say anything for a few moments, before looking down at you, observing your reaction.
âopen it.â
your eyes snapped up to him, finally.
â..what?â
his jaw shifted slightly. amused. âyou know what it is.â
you do. of course you did, but it felt too big to say out loud. your fingers hovered over the box, desperate to touch but almost unsure.
âyouâre serious..â you whispered faintly. it wasnât doubt in your voice but absolute disbelief, like something you had only ever dreamt about was about to take place before your very eyes.
his eyes darkened at your tone. âi wouldnât joke about shit like this.â
he stepped closer to you now, his chest touching the side of your body, caging you against the counter, his head dropping down so you could meet his gaze properly, without having to look up.
âyou think iâve been saying this for nothing?â he continued, voice low, rougher now. âyou think iâm talking just to hear myself?â
you shook your head up at him, chest rising and falling as one of your hands gripped his shirt, hand on his hardened abs to ground yourself as you blinked tears away, trying to comprehend this was really happening.
âopen it.â he nudged his nose towards the box, eyes trained on you intensely as your hand finally reached out to hold it, letting out a shaky breath.
opening it up caused you to let out a soft whimper, something that had your knees almost buckling.
the light of the kitchen caught on the heavy diamond sat comfortably in the box, a vision of both taste and money - it didnât take a jeweller to tell you that this ring was worth more than every pay check you had ever gotten. there was nothing delicate or dainty about it, he wanted you to wear the best of the best and this was exactly that.
you pressed your fingers to your lips as you tried to control your breathing, looking up to meet his gaze through a teary gaze that he was already devouring. you were such a crybaby, and he fucking loved it - you cried over everything and anything, with the only remedy being himself.
âyou like it.â he murmured, fingers pressing into your waist to ground you, voice certain.
you nod rapidly, letting out a shaky, teary exhale. âkookie, itâs so..itâs beautiful..â
âgood.â
silence settled between you both again, but it sat thicker now. charged. your chest felt too tight, your stomach aching as you tried to keep your tears inside, all the whilst he began peppering your neck in kisses.
âyou donât have to-â you started softly, tears beginning to stream. âiâm already yours, always.â
the words slip out before you could stop them, as you tried to stifle your sobs to no avail, hand shaking enough where you placed the box down onto the counter gently, too in awe of it to even comprehend it being real.
he stilled.
he stopped his kisses, leaning up to his full height before cupping your cheek with his hand, making your own head lean back to stare up at him. he swiped at your tears, humming lightly down at you. âyeah, you are.â
he took your fingers in his hold then, planting a sweet kiss to each finger, to your palm, to the tops. he took hold of the ring, feeling the weight of it for a moment before sliding it onto your finger slowly, letting you experience it first hand.
his calloused fingers were warm against your own, the size difference hitting you as it often did. it was the way in which it sat on your body, the weight of jungkookâs presence settling into your own and the love you both shared blatant and on display.
you were safe.
loved.
but more importantly? jungkook had chosen you, openly, directly, without fear of scrutinisation. he knew he was a man that moved fast, but it came with an understanding of exactly what he wanted.
you.
â
ahhhh!! handyman jungkook is finally here, thank you all for your patience - if this was something you enjoyed and you want to support me and my writing, here is my kofi <33
love u guys so bad

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Before I Forgot here
Summary: Your life was perfect. You had the perfect fiance, the perfect house and the perfect ring on your finger. The only thing that wasn't perfect âŠ. were the memories you lost years ago and the fact your parents won't talk about it.
Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Smut, Mystery.
Warnings: Memory Loss, Swearing, Blood Mention, Unprotected Sex, Mention Of Car Accident, Mention Of Drunk Driver. Will add as I goâŠ
The water is almost too hot.
Steam fills the bathroom until the mirror disappears completely. Until the world is completely foggy and the steady rush of pouring water over your skin drowns out the confusing world around you. You brace your hands against the wall and let it hit the back of your neck. You were trying to wash away the day and ease the tension in your muscles.
It doesnât work.
The second you close your eyes. Youâre back there. Back in the dance studio with the wood floors and the sunlight. Music low in the background. Back where you first see his face.
Hear his voice.
âY/N?â His voice was soft as he spoke your name.
The way he said it. He was not questioning who you were. He was not unsure. He was one hundred percent certain. It was like heâd said it a thousand times before and he probably has.
Your breath stutters as the memory replays. The way his eyes widened. Not dramatically, not theatrically, but enough. Enough to tell you he recognized you instantly. Enough to tell you that you were real in his past.
Park Jimin.
He hadnât looked at you like he was angry. He wasn't mad that you were thereâŠ. not at all.
The water streams down your face as you tilt your head back, trying desperately to remember anything.
Something.
âYou donât remember any of us?â He had asked you.
Us.
Your stomach twists again.
Not just him.
Us.
Seven guys and one girl.
A whole world. One you had completely forgotten about. One where they all have memories of you. Memories of you being stubborn and liking to argue with them.
One where you had a whole group of people who mattered to you.
You press your forehead to the cool tile despite the heat surrounding you. Heâd known about the accident. Thatâs what wonât leave you alone.
âYes, we knew about it.â He admitted.
His voice was calm, but his jaw had tightened slightly when he had said it. His fingers had gripped that photo just a little too hard.
He knew.
They all knew.
You were too afraid to ask the questions sitting on the tip of your tongue.
Were you there?
Were any of you in the car with me?
You squeeze your eyes shut as your parentsâ voice echoes in your head.
âThat part doesnât matter anymore.â
But it does. It matters if they were there. It matters if they got hurt. It matters if someone left because of you.
You swallow hard as your pulse picks up.
He didnât say anything about being there. He didnât say he wasnât. He just said they knew. Why did his expression change when you asked about the others? Why did it feel like he was choosing his words carefully?
You slide your hands down your arms slowly.
He said you were funny. That you argued. That you hated following plans.
A shaky laugh leaves you.
You follow plans.
You breathe by schedules.
You trained yourself to like dark roast coffee because it fit the picture curated for you.
You stopped asking questions because it was easier.
Who were you?
The water keeps running. Steam clings to your skin. You can still see it. The way he looked at you. It was almost like he had his own question he wanted to throw at you.
He didn't ask them.
You remember how your body felt like it belonged in that studio even if your mind didnât remember why. As far as you're concerned, you don't think you have ever been in a dance studio before.
You straighten slowly and turn under the spray, letting it hit your face again. You should feel guilty that you lied to Corbyn. You went somewhere you shouldn't have gone to. You had stood in front of another man and asked him to tell you who you used to be. However, guilt isnât whatâs sitting in your chest.
Itâs something else.
It felt like something was finally being awoken deep inside you.
For the first time since the accident, something inside you feels like it's wanting to bloom and grow.
The water begins to cool slightly and you reach to turn it off. You step out carefully, wrapping a towel around yourself as water drips from your hair. The mirror is still fogged, hiding your reflection.
You hesitate⊠then lift your hand and wipe a clear streak through the center. Corbyn will probably have a fit about that if he sees it.
Your face appears.
Same features, but your eyes look different tonight.
Not calm.
Not neutral.
Instead, there's just a small spark of something else. A small fire wanting answers. What did you used to argue with your friends about? What did you joke about?
You stare at yourself.
âWho were you?â You whisper.
Your gaze drops slowly to the counter. You slide open your designated drawer where you keep all your head bands. Reaching into the far back, your fingers touch the small business card you left JM Dance Studio with. Carefully, you take it between your fingers and pull it out.
Heâd hesitated like he wasnât sure if he should.
âIf you want to start somewhere,â heâd said quietly, scribbling quickly. âStart with her.â
You take a deep breath and look down. The black ink slightly smudged from where his hand must have brushed it before it was dried.
One name written in clean, steady handwriting.
Yura.
Underneath it is a phone number.
Your hand shakes again.
âYour old best best,â he had informed you.
The girl with her arm thrown around your shoulders.
The one who looked fearless.
âThe one who knew you better than anyone,â he said
Heâd given you her number.
Not his.
Your thumb hovers over the ink, barely touching the name.
Yura.
If you callâŠthere is no pretending anymore. No slow curiosity. No quiet searching.
It becomes real. You're jumping into this with both feet and there is absolutely no turning back.
You lift your gaze to the large ring sitting on the shelf under the mirror. Two lives standing side by side in the same bathroom.
One Safe and one was something else entirely.
Your pulse pounds in your ears as you pick up your phone from the counter. You type the number in slowly. One digit at a time before your thumb hovers over the call button.
Suddenly, you canât breathe as your thumb is a fraction of an inch from the screen. The call button is a glowing green. Daring you to press it.
Click.
The sound of the bathroom door handle scares you.
In a panic, you shove the business card deep into the headband drawer and slam it shut. The noise is too loud and guilty, but youâre already dropping your phone onto the marble counter and grabbing a bottle of lotion. With a deep breath, you fake a mundane task as the door swings open.
"Still in here?" Your fiance asks.
Corbyn stands in the doorway looking exactly like the man youâre supposed to marry.
His hair, too perfectly done. His teeth, perfectly straight. His watch, too expensive.
"Just finishing up," you say, your voice sounding too high pitched to your own ears.
You don't look at him. You look at the mirror, where the streak you wiped away is already starting to fog over again.
He walks up behind you, his hands settling on your shoulders. His touch is familiar, and entirely devoid of the tingling ⊠excitement of anticipation your body felt in the studio with Jimin. You just didn't react to his touch.
"You've been in here a long time," he says, his eyes meeting yours over your shoulder. He frowns slightly, his thumb brushing a stray drop of water from your collarbone. "Are you feeling okay? You look... flushed."
"The water was just hot, Corbyn. I'm fine," you tell him.
"Good." He leans down, kissing the top of your head, but his gaze drops to the counter. To your phone. "You were on your phone? I thought we agreed on no screens after eight thirty. It messes with your sleep cycle."
The schedules. The plans. Every word he speaks is a reminder of the person youâve spent years pretending to be.
Who you were told to be.
Jimin said you hated plans.
"I was just checking the time," you lie and you realize the lies are getting easier.
"Right." He picks up your phone, moving to set it on the high shelf where you keep your jewelry. Out of reach, out of mind. "Let's get to bed. You've been acting a bit off since you got back from the wedding vendor. Did something happen?"
Heâs looking at you now. Truly looking. You wonder if he knows you're lying.
"Nothing happened," you whisper, stepping out of his hold to grab your robe.
However, as you walk past him. Your hand brushes the drawer where Yuraâs name is hidden. Your heart isn't just pounding anymore.
It's screaming.
Your fingers wonât stop fidgeting with the edge of your sweater. Leah turns the engine off, but neither of you move.The coffee shop sits across the street from where you're parked. Your heart is beating so loud you can hear it in your ears.
âStill time to back out,â Leah says gently. âShe won't even know that you actually showed up here.â
âI canât.â You shake your head. âI already made it this far. I need to know.â
You donât look at her. Youâre staring at the door. At the people going in and out. At how normal it looks.
Normal.
Your life has been nothing but normal for years. However, maybe it ⊠hasn't. Maybe your life has been anything but normal. Maybe your normal was your life that you don't remember.
You don't know what normal is anymore.
You glance down at your phone in your lap. The message thread is still open. The first text took you fifteen minutes to type and another five for you to get the courage to hit send.
Hi. This might be strange. My name is Y/N. Jimin gave me your number.
You almost didnât send it. You deleted it twice. Rewrote it three times and made sure all the spelling was correct before sending it. Your thumb hovered over the send button just like it had days before. Then you pressed send. Three dots appeared almost immediately.
You hadnât expected that.
Yura: I've been waiting for this
Your heart jumped so hard it hurt.
I know this is weird and it's very confusing for me, you add
Yura: We can go slow.
Can we meet? You ask her, feeling brave for a moment.
Yura: Tomorrow at 3. Coffee shop on 3rd?
Now, you stare at the coffee shop knowing your old best friend. The one that knew you better than anyone was inside waiting for you.
Getting out of the car, you run quickly across the street and place your hand on the door handle. The bell above the café door rings softly as you step inside. In your hand, you grip the picture ⊠your only proof of life before like your life depends on it.
You see her immediately sitting back at a corner table.
Yura.
And beside her a face from the photo. You glance down just to make sure. His hair is a bit longer. He's covered in tattoos, but he's for sure in the photo.
The one with the lip piercing. The one that was looking at her in the captured memory.
You don't know his name.
He stands when you walk in. He seems much more nervous than Jimin was. Not in a bad way. Maybe he was like you and didn't really know how to approach this situation.
Yura rises slowly as you walk up to their table.
âYou came,â she says, her voice softer than you expected. âI wasn't sure if you were going to show up.â
âYou said youâd been waiting,â you reply.
Something flickers in her expression at that and you glance at him.
âI've seen you,â you say carefully to the guy. âFrom my picture I found.â
His eyebrow lifts slightly as you hand them the picture.
âThe lip piercing,â you add and point to your own lip.
âYeah,â he says quietly, examining the photo. âThatâs me.â
âI donât remember your name,â you say in a small voice feeling embarrassed. âI'm sorry. IâŠâ
âItâs okay,â Yura says quickly.
Too quickly.
âJungkook,â he says, eyes still on the picture.
The name settles somewhere strange in your chest. Like it was floating around next to Jimin's and Yura's name. Name's you should know, but now you say like they are complete strangers.
âJungkook,â you repeat softly. He hands you the picture back and you study it for a moment. You let your finger press on his face in the picture and then on Jiminâs. âJungkook, Jimin and Yura. I'm sorry. I'm just trying not to forget.â
âYou're fine,â Yura smiles sadly at you while Jungkook suddenly starts to look around. âWhy don't we sit. Jimin said ⊠you had some questions? We ⊠uh, we can try and answer some for you. The best we can.â
âUmm.â You swallow and tuck your photo away back into your sweater pocket. âI know I was in a car accident. My parents⊠they won't really give me any details when I ask. They change the subject as quickly as they can.â
Yura looks at Jungkook and he puts his arm around her. Her eyes suddenly started to dart around, avoiding your gaze.
âWas I the only one in the car?â You ask.
âNo,â Jungkook answers, shaking his head.
âUmm,â you say, trying to find the right words to ask. âUmmâŠâ
âI was driving,â Yura says, her face turning slightly red as her eyes turn glassy.
âI thought it was a drunk driver?â You ask, looking at the table. âThat was the only part I thought I knew for sure.â
âIt was,â Junkgook confirms with a nod. âThe man ran a red light and hit the passenger side of the car. It was just you two in the vehicle.â
You stare at Yura. Her hands tremble where they rest on the table. You look at Jungkook, whose jaw is set so tight you can see the muscle jump.
"The passenger side," you repeat and scrunch your face. "Thatâs where I was?"
"You took the hit for both of us," Yura whispers, her voice breaking. "I walked away with bruises and a broken wrist. You... you didn't wake up for days."
The guilt in her voice is obvious. You want to reach out and tell her itâs okay, but how can you? You donât even know her or the girl sheâs grieving for. You look down at your hands, then back at Jungkook. He shifts in his seat, his hand moving to the back of his neck to rub at the tension there.
As his sleeve shifts, you see it just under his bicep.
Itâs not like the other tattoos. The intricate sleeves or the bold ink on his knuckles. This one is simple. Ridiculous looking. A small stick figure with a billowing cape.
Your heart stops.
The room goes a bit foggy.
The smell of permanent markers hit you. The sound of someone laughing ⊠a deep sounding laugh.
"Super-Koo," you breathe out.
The silence that follows is deafening. Jungkook freezes. His hand drops from his neck, and he stares at you with an expression that looks like heâs just seen a ghost.
"What did you just say?" He asks, his voice barely a rasp.
"Super... Koo," you repeat, your eyes seemingly staring off into nothing now. You rapidly blink as though you were suddenly snapped out of stupor. âIâŠIâŠdon'tâŠI. Why would I say that?â
âIt was a joke,â Yura says, a tear slipping down her face. âHe wanted you to draw him a big elaborate tattoo. A strong brave warriorâŠ.â
âYou drew me Super-Koo,â he whispers and you shake your head, looking at Yura.
âYou had laughed so hard when he showed up the next day with the tattoo on him,â she laughs at the memory you can't share. âYou laughed so hard you were wheezing.â
âI did?â You question. You can't recall a time you ever laughed that hard. âWhy did you want me to draw you a tattoo?â
They both tilt their heads.
âYou loved drawing,â Jungkook says. âThat's how you and Yura met. In your art class.â
âArt class?â You scrunch your face. âI loved art?â
âYou didn't just love it,â she says, taking a shuddering breath. âYou were going to teach it. Elementary school.â
Elementary school?
You look at a small chip in the table and try to focus the best you can. A classroom doesnât come. No tiny desks. No colorful bulletin boards. No finger paints or glue stuck to your hands. No children tugging at your sleeves asking for help.
Nothing comes.
âIâŠâ Your throat feels tight. âI donât remember that.â
Jungkook shifts forward in his seat slightly, careful.
âYou already had your placement school picked out,â he says quietly. âYou used to talk about how you were going to decorate your classroom. You argued with Yura about how you wanted to set up your desks.â
âYou said glitter was non-negotiable,â she adds with a watery laugh. âThat you didn't care what the parents thought.â
You stare at them.
Glitter.
You hate messes. You organize your pantry by expiration date. You wipe down the counter twice after cooking. There was no way you were going to use glitter. Much less let little kids use glitter around you.
âThat doesnâtâŠâ You shake your head slowly. âThat doesnât sound like me.â
âIt was you,â Jungkook says.
Not defensive.
Not frustrated.
Just âŠ.. a fact.
You press your fingers into your palms, trying to take in the new information. The coffee shop feels louder suddenly. The hum of conversation. The hiss of the espresso machine. A spoon clinking against porcelain.
Too loud.
Too much.
âYou carried a sketchbook everywhere,â Yura continues, softly. âYou would draw on napkins. On receipts. On Jungkookâs arm.â
Her gaze flicks to the tiny cape tattoo that couldn't be seen with his arm down now.
You swear you can almost feel the marker in your hand. However, you canât see your own face doing it.
âI donât remember loving anything like that,â you whisper. âI don't even love anything like that now.â
For some reason âŠ. that feels like more of a loss than anything else. To be so passionate about something and you absolutely have no recollection of it.
Silence falls between the three of you.
It isnât awkward.
Itâs sad.
For the woman sitting right here who canât recognize herself.
For a couple who both wore wedding rings, who had to deliver some bad news to you.
âHow long was I out?â You ask quietly.
âFive days,â Jungkook answers.
Five days.
Thatâs all it took. Five days to wake up into a different life.
Your breathing turns shallow as your parentsâ voices echo in your head.
Your questions didn't matter.
Your past didn't matter.
Why didn't your former career matter?
Why did they decide that?
Why did they decide Corbyn was perfect for you?
Why did they decide the insurance firm was the best job?
The questions stack too fast and your ears start to ring. You push your chair back abruptly.
âIâm sorry,â you hear yourself say, even though you donât know what youâre apologizing for.
âFor not remembering?â Yuraâs voice cracks.
âFor⊠everything,â you manage.
Jungkook stands automatically, like heâs not sure if youâre about to faint or bolt.
âI justâŠâ You shake your head, stepping back from the table. âMy friend has been waiting.â
Neither of them tries to stop you.
âText me when you get home,â Yura says gently. âOkay?â
You nod.
You donât trust your voice anymore.
The bell above the cafĂ© door rings as you push it open. Cold air hits your face, sharp almost taking your breath away. Leahâs car is still parked where you left it. You cross the street too quickly, barely registering the light changing. You open the passenger door and slide inside, shutting it harder than you mean to. You stay silent as you stare out the windshield.
Leah studies you for half a second before turning the engine back on for the heater.
âThat bad?â She asks gently.
You continue to stare straight ahead. Your hands are shaking.
âI was supposed to be an art teacher,â you say.
The words sound unreal coming out of your mouth.
âYou?â She asks, sounding surprised.
âI had a placement school,â you continue hollowly. âGlitter was apparently non-negotiable. I donât even remember liking glitter. They were really nice. I drew him a tattoo.â
âOkay,â she says carefully. âOkay. Thatâs⊠thatâs a lot.â
You nod.
Five days.
Five days and an entire version of you disappeared.
You look down at your hands.
They donât look like an art teacherâs hands.
They look like someone elseâs.
And for the first time since the accident.
Youâre not just curious.
Youâre angry.
"Thereâs my bride-to-be!" Your mother calls out from the dining room.
The table is full of spreadsheets, fabric swatches, and catering contracts. Your mother looks up, her smile practiced and bright, though it wavers for a split second as she takes in your face.
"You look tired, darling. Did the florist give you trouble? I told them the peonies had to be a specific shade of cream, not eggshell. It's in the contract." She sighs, watching you closely.
"I'm fine, Mom," you say, your voice flat. âEverything is perfect just like always.â
"Good, because we need to go over the final seating chart and the beverage budget. Corbynâs parents are insisting on that vintage champagne, which is lovely, but we have a schedule to maintain."
Schedules. Plans. Contracts. You stare at a swatch of silk on the table. Itâs smooth, sterile, and beige. You think of Super-Koo and the non-negotiable glitter. You think of a girl who most likely didn't care what her parents thought.
"I... I need to use the restroom," you mutter, cutting her off mid-sentence about hors d'oeuvres.
"Hurry back, Y/N. The stationer is calling at four. We need to confirm the font for the thank you cards!" She calls.
You don't go to the bathroom. Instead, you slip into the small home office down the hall. A room usually reserved for your fatherâs taxes and his nightly drink. Your heart is hammering against your ribs. You feel like a spy in your own life.
You find a legal pad on the desk and a ballpoint pen.
Your hand is shaking as you press the tip to the yellow paper. You close your eyes, trying to summon that awake feeling from the dance studio, trying to find the girl who lived for the mess and glitter.
Draw something.
Anything.
You try to sketch a flower. The lines are rigid. They are precise and perfect like everything you're expected to do. They look like a diagram from a textbook. You scribble it out with a frustrated growl and try again.
Think of the cape. Think of the laughing you heard in the background of the foggy memory.
You try to draw a figure, but your brain keeps correcting the proportions. Itâs like thereâs a wall in your mind, a wall between your hand and your soul. You want to scream. You want to tear the paper.
"Y/N? Are you in there?" Your motherâs voice is closer now.
You freeze, your pen hovering over a half-formed, jagged shape on the paper that looks nothing like art. There was no way you were going to be an art teacher.
"The stationer is on the line!" She calls, her footsteps clicking on the hardwood.
You quickly flip the legal pad page over to hide your failed drawing and shove the pen into your pocket. You stand up just as she reaches the doorway, her expression shifting from impatience to suspicion as she looks at the desk.
"What are you doing in here?" She asks, her voice dropping.
"Just looking for a good pen," you lie.
She walks into the room, her eyes scanning the desk, landing on the legal pad. She moves toward it, her hand reaching out.
"Did you write something down?" She questions.
Your heart hammers against your ribs, a frantic rhythm that feels like it might burst through your skin. As her hand inches toward the legal pad, you move fast, your hip catching the edge of the mahogany desk with a dull thud.
"Mom, wait âŠ. the champagne," you blurt out, the words tumbling out in a rush of feigned anxiety. "I just realized... Corbynâs mother mentioned something about a rose blend. Sheâs going to think weâre snubbing her family if we don't get it. I was trying to find a pen to jot down the year she mentioned before I forgot it."
The distraction works.
"A rose blend?" She repeats, her eyes widening. "She didn't mention that to me. That would change the entire color palette of the glassware. Why didn't you say so earlier?"
"I just remembered it while I was in the bathroom," you lie, stepping toward her and gently guiding her back toward the hallway. "We should check the catering contract again. If we have to swap the glassware. We need to do it before the six o'clock call."
"Of course," she murmurs. "Come along, then. We don't have a minute to lose."
You follow her, but your hand stays buried in your pocket, clutching the ballpoint pen until the plastic digs into your palm. As you sit back down at the table, surrounded by expensive fabric swatches, you look at your mother. She is meticulously highlighting a row on a spreadsheet, her face a mask of calm control.
She lied.
The thought feels like a stab in your stomach. She told you the past didn't matter. She never told you that you were an artist. She never told you that you had a best friend who could have died beside you. She had wiped the glitter out of your life and replaced it with this beige silence.
"Is this the one?" She asks, pointing to a line item for Premium Glassware.
"Yes," you say, your voice remarkably steady for someone whose world is slowly breaking apart. "That's the one."
You spend the next hour nodding, confirming, and playing the role of the perfect bride. However, as you fold your arms. Your thumb traces right where Jungkookâs sleeve had shifted to reveal that tiny, defiant cape. Where it revealed more truth than you ever thought you could get.
And now ⊠you weren't going to stop until you got it all.
As you walk into your house. The house Corbyn bought, the house filled with furniture that matches the perfect life you were pretty much forced into. Itâs quiet. Corbyn isn't home yet.
You go straight to the bathroom and pull out the legal pad you managed to slip into your bag. You look at the jagged, frustrated shapes you drew at your parents' house. Then, you pick up the pen.
You don't try to draw a flower. You don't try to be perfect. You think of the word Yura. You think of the word Jungkook. You think of the feeling of being awake.
Slowly, your hand moves. It's shaky, and the muscle memory feels like it's fighting through years of rust and the current fog, but you draw a simple, billowing shape. A cape. Itâs not perfect. Itâs messy, but you can tell what it is and it feels like it belongs to you.
The front door opens. The heavy thud of Corbynâs briefcase hitting the floor echoes through the house.
"Y/N? I'm home!" He calls from downstairs.
You quickly hide the legal pad in the cabinet under the sink behind the bathroom cleaner. Corbyn didn't clean. He wouldn't look there.
You donât come out of the bathroom right away. You stay there for a minute, staring at your reflection while your pulse slowly comes down from your throat to something survivable.
Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath and slowly exhale.
The cape is hidden.
The cabinet is closed.
Everything is where itâs supposed to be. By the time you step into the bedroom, Corbyn is already halfway through buttoning his shirt sleeves.
âAre you almost ready?â He asks, glancing at you through the mirror.
âFor what?â You ask, clearly not remembering something you're supposed to remember.
He pauses. He actually pauses and turns from the mirror to look at you.
âDinner,â he says slowly. âWith the Lee's? Reservationâs at eight at the Country Club.â
Right.
Schedules.
Plans at fancy places.
You nod quickly and move past him toward the dresser, reaching for your earrings like that was always the plan. Like you didnât just hide something that feels dangerously illegal under your bathroom sink.
His hand catches your wrist before you can pull away.
You freeze.
Thereâs a faint black smudge along the side of your hand. It drags from the knuckle on your pinky to the edge of your palm and your stomach drops.
âWhat is this?â He asks, turning your hand slightly toward the light.
âItâs just ink,â you say, trying to brush it off.
âIt looks messy,â he replies automatically. Not mean. Not even sharp. Just factual. âYou should wash it off before we leave.â
âI will,â you tell him.
âTheyâre particular,â he adds, already reaching for his âSpecial Occasionâ watch from the nightstand. âFirst impressions matter with this client.â
You nod again, even though something in your chest twists. You turn and walk back toward the bathroom without another word. As you shut the bathroom door, you lock it. You turn on the water and scrub. You scrub harder than you need to.
Soap.
Water.
You scrub until your skin goes pink.
The ink slowly drips down the drain in thin gray ribbons. It clings to the fine lines of your knuckles like it doesnât want to leave. Like it belongs there. Like you meant to be messy.
Your phone buzzes against the marble counter.
You glance at it.
Yura.
Your breath catches as you reach for it, water still dripping from your fingertips.
Yura: I found your old sketchbook. I didnât know if you'd want it back, but it's yours if you want it.
You bite your lower lip as you reread her message. Another message appears before you can respond.
Yura: The others know you reached out. They want to meet you ⊠if you're up to it.
Your grip tightens on the edge of the sink. You think you might have fallen over if you hadn't.
Yura: Weâre all at Jiminâs studio tonight. You can stop by if you want. We're just hanging out. Casual. It's okay to say no.
The room tilts and you have to put your hands on your knees reminding yourself to breathe. You look up at yourself in the mirror and then at your hand. The ink still caught faintly in the creases of your skin.
Sketchbook.
Others.
Tonight.
You walk back into the bedroom on autopilot. Corbyn is tying his tie now, movements efficient and robotic. He glances up when you stop just inside the doorway.
âI donât think I can go tonight,â you say, surprising yourself by the words that flow out of your mouth.
He stills.
âWhat?â He asks.
âIâm not feeling great.â The lie just rolls right off your tongue.
The silence that follows seems to last forever as he stares at you. You know he doesn't believe you.
âYou were fine ten minutes ago,â he argues.
âI just feel⊠off,â you say, sticking to your guns.
His jaw shifts slightly.
âY/N, this dinner is important,â he tells you. âYou knew about this. This was on the digital calendar in the kitchen.â
The digital calendar in the kitchen. The blocks of blue, pink, green and yellow that scheduled your life. That over-scheduled your life. Right down to dinner with your parents. Sometimes you dream of spilling that nasty dark roast coffee all over that digital calendar.
âI know,â you admit.
âWe confirmed this two weeks ago,â he says.
âI know,â you say again.
âThis is the Lee's,â he says, like it should matter to you.
However, it doesn't. It doesn't matter to you. You've spent many nights like this with him. Nights at the Country Club with clients just like the Lee's. It didn't matter if you were there or not.
âI just donât think I should go,â you say.
He exhales sharply through his nose.
âThis is exactly what your parents warned me about.â He nods his head and your brows furrow at that. âThey said sometimes you get overwhelmed and pull back from things at the last minute,â he tells you. âThey informed me that it's best if I keep you on schedule. It's not good to break you of your routine.â
âIâm not overwhelmed!â You snap before you can stop yourself, making him go very still.
âThen what is it?â He asks.
You open your mouth and close it again. You don't know what to say to him. You can't tell him the truth. You can't say, Iâm going to meet people I used to love more than anything.
The silence stretches too long.
âFine,â he says finally. His voice was flat and cold. You don't think that you have ever heard him sound like that before. âIâll tell them youâre sick.â
âI'mâŠ,â you start to apologize as your fingers curl into your sweater, but he quickly cuts you off.
âYou should get some rest,â he says, already reaching for his jacket.
He doesnât kiss you goodbye as he makes his way down the stairs. His footsteps were heavy and fast like he couldn't get out of the house fast enough. The front door shuts harder than necessary.
You wait.
Ten seconds.
Twenty.
Until you hear the engine start. Until the sound of it fades down the street. It's only then do you move. Your heart is pounding so hard it makes your hands shake as you grab your keys off the kitchen counter.
You donât change.
You donât fix your hair.
You don't want to make yourself look like the perfect version of you that needs to be presented.
You just go.
By the time you pull into the parking lot of the studio, your palms are damp against the steering wheel.
The lights are on inside. Warm through the tall front windows. You sit there for a moment, staring at the door, your pulse thrumming in your ears. Your hands almost hurt from how nervous you are.
You could still leave.
You could go home.
Pretend none of this happened.
Pretend you never texted Yura.
Pretend the cape under your sink doesnât exist.
Your hand is already reaching for the handle before you can talk yourself out of it. Your feet are already carrying yourself across the deserted street as if they are acting on their own and you have no say. The bell above the door gives a soft chime as you push it open.
And suddenly âŠ. youâre back. You're back where your adventure started. Where your mystery began to unravel. The wood floors. The Music playing low somewhere in the back.
Only this time there were more voices. You donât recognize any of them. However, you feel like your body starts to tingle at the sound of their murmurs. You take careful steps down to the main studio room where you first saw Jimin. Your mouth goes dry as you look in.
Someone looks up first.
Then another.
Conversation stops.
Eights pairs of eyes turning toward you. Five of them look like they have just seen a ghost.
And for the first time since the accident âŠ.
You understand what it means
to be missed.
<Next>
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Husband Yoongi x Female Reader feat. Taehyung
Warnings: Mentions of cheating, divorce, depression, therapy, hints of smut but nothing explicit, body insecurity, drinking, swearing, arguments, feeling abandoned
Word Count: 10,004
Iâve been saying this more lately, but this is one of my personal favorites! â„ïž
You used to know the sound of Yoongiâs keys. There had been a time when the quiet jingle outside the door made your chest lift in excitement. When you would smile without thinking, when you would count the seconds until he stepped inside and shrugged off his coat and let the world fall away with it.
Now it just meant he was home to sleep.
Your husband worked constantly. Early mornings. Late nights. Calls taken in the shower. Laptop open at the dinner table. Even when he sat next to you on the couch, his mind was somewhere else. His eyes were distant, jaw tight, shoulders locked like he was bracing for impact that never came.
Months had passed like that. Months without dates. Without laughter. Without his hands finding yours out of habit. Without intimacy, meaning no soft kisses in the kitchen, no murmured goodnights that meant stay, no heat beneath the sheets. You were married and yet still completely alone.
One night, you tried not to let it blow up. He came home late, jacket still on, phone in his hand. You were sitting at the kitchen counter, fork paused mid-air.
âI made a cake.â. you said carefully. Not hopeful. Just offering him something. âThatâs great.â, he replied without looking up. You waited a few seconds. Long enough to realize he wasnât going to sit. Or ask how your day was. Or notice you had set two plates out of habit.
You swallowed it down. Pushed the hurt somewhere deep and familiar. âNever mind.â, you said softly, standing to clear the table. He didnât hear that either.
So you snapped. You snapped when he didnât eat the dinner you made. You snapped when he answered emails at midnight. You snapped because it hurt too much to ask why he didnât look at you anymore.
Yoongi only got quieter and that made everything worse.
Valentineâs Day arrived like a cruel joke. You hadnât planned on doing anything. You had told yourself it was just another day, another reminder of something you had lost. But that morning, Yoongi had paused by the door, hand on the knob and said stiffly, âI made a reservation for dinner...If you want.â
Not I want to take you out. Not please. Just a social obligation wrapped in formality.
You said yes anyway. You put more effort into getting ready than you had in months. You curled your hair. You wore the little black dress he once said made you look unreal. It was the one that used to make his cheeks turn pink and his voice go deeper. You lingered in front of the mirror, hoping, stupidly, that tonight might remind him of you.
When you walked into the living room, he was already there, dressed nicely, coat in hand. He glanced upâŠand that was it. No smile. No pause. No sharp inhale like he used to do when he thought you looked too beautiful to be his. Just a nod and a distracted, âReady?â Something inside you cracked, quiet and final.
The restaurant was dim and romantic in a way that felt almost mocking of your situation. Candles flickered. Soft music played. Couples leaned toward each other, laughing, touching, sharing bites of dessert.
You and Yoongi sat across from each other like strangers waiting for a boring meeting to end. Conversation died before it even started. You pushed food around your plate. He checked his phone once, twice, then caught himself and set it face down with a sigh. The silence was heavy and awkward, thick with things neither of you knew how to say anymore.
Then she appeared. She stopped at your table, smiling brightly, âYoongi?â His head snapped up. And for the first time all night, his face changed. His eyes lit up. His shoulders relaxed. A genuine smile that was warm, familiar, devastating spread across his face as he stood, âHey. Wow Hana. Hi.â
She laughed, touching his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world, âI didnât know youâd be here tonight.â
âOhâŠthis isâŠâ, he gestured vaguely between you flustered in a way you hadnât seen in months. âIâm a Coworker.â, she said cheerfully. You barely heard the rest. All you could see was the way he looked at her. The way he sounded awake. Alive. So this was where his warmth had gone you thought. Your throat burned. Your eyes stung. The room felt too small, too loud, too full of love that wasnât yours anymore.
Yoongi turned back to you, expression shifting like heâd just remembered where he was. You were already pushing your chair back. His hand twitched on the table like he had thought about reaching for you but decided it was too late. You stood up abruptly, chair scraping against the floor, âI need some air.â Yoongi turned, âY/N wait!â
But you were already walking away. You pushed through the restaurant doors and into the cold night, breathing hard, refusing to let the tears fall where he or anyone could see them. You didnât look back.
You walked without a destination, heels clicking angrily against the sidewalk as the cold bit at your bare skin thanks to leaving your coat behind at the table. A stupid decision on your part you admitted. The air burned your lungs, sharp and clean, and you welcomed it though. It was easier to focus on that than the image replaying in your head of Yoongiâs smile, not meant for you.
You wrapped your arms around yourself and let out a shaky laugh that sounded a little hysterical. Of course this would happen on Valentineâs Day. Of course.
âRough night?â
The voice stopped you cold. Deep. Smooth. Warm enough that it didnât belong out here.
You looked up and nearly tripped. The man standing a few feet away was unfairly handsome. Dark hair styled just enough to look intentional but effortless, broad shoulders in a tailored coat, and eyes, his eyes were soft and curious and devastatingly kind.
âIâŠâ, you blinked, âSorry. I didnât see you there.â He smiled, slow and charming like he knew exactly what that smile did to people.
âIâm very good at reading vibes. Yours areâŠsad, but trying to be brave.â, he said. You huffed, âWowâŠyouâre good.â
âTell me about it.â, he chuckled giving you a smirk. Something about him made it easy, too easy to talk. Maybe because he was a stranger. Maybe because he wasnât your husband.
âItâs a man.â, you admitted, exhaling. He nodded solemnly, âIsnât it always? Men have been the root cause of sad poetry, wars, and awful pop songs.â You laughed again, this time fuller, surprised by it, âYouâre not wrong.â
He tilted his head, studying you with a softness that didnât feel intrusive, âLet me guess. He forgot something important. Or worseâŠhe didnât forget, he just didnât show up the way you needed him to.â Your throat tightened. âWow.â, you muttered again, âOkay. Now Iâm a little weirded out.â
He smiled, but there was sympathy there. Real sympathy, âYou deserve someone who notices when you try. Especially tonight.â You swallowed, âYeah. Well. Lifeâs funny like that.â
âCruel actually.â, he agreed. Then he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small card, holding it out to you with two fingers.
It was pink. Like, aggressively pink. With little heartsâŠand glitter.
You stared at it, then at him, âOh no. Iâm not interested in anything like that.â He laughed, loud and delighted, âI promise itâs not what you think. OrâŠmaybe it kind of is.â
You took the card despite yourself. Printed neatly on the front, in looping script, was the name of his business:
V-Day ReVival
Putting the love back in love.
You blinked. Once. Twice, ââŠAre you a marriage counselor?â He grinned, eyes crinkling. âRelationship strategist.â, he corrected smoothly, âI prefer to think of myself as a professional at romantic intervention.â
You snorted before you could stop yourself, âI just met you outside a random bar while spiraling after a crappy steak dinner.â
âAnd yet.â, he said lightly, âHere you are, holding my very pink card. Fate always seems to work fast on Valentineâs Day.â You shook your head, smiling despite yourself, âYouâre ridiculous.â
âTrue.â, he pointed at you, âBut if you ever need someone to help untangle a love storyâŠor decide if itâs worth saving then Iâm your guy.â
He stepped back, giving you space, warmth lingering anyway, âIâm Taehyung. By the way.â You looked down at the card again, then back up at him, âWellâŠthanks, Taehyung. For the pep talk.â
âAnytime Y/N.â, he said softly, âGood luck tonight.â Before you could ask how he knew your name he walked away, hands in his pockets like there was nothing off about that interaction at all. You stared after him for a moment then glanced down at the pink card again, shaking your head.
Marriage counselors were getting weird, you decided. And yet somehowâŠyou felt a little lighter. While you were staring down at the pink card you heard footsteps.
âY/N!â, Yoongiâs voice sounded different. Rushed. Frayed. You looked up just as he reached you, slightly out of breath, hair mussed like he had jogged the entire block. He didnât hesitate. He shrugged out of his coat and wrapped it around your shoulders, tugging it close like instinct had finally kicked in.
âThere you are.â, he said quietly, âItâs freezing.â The coat was warm. It smelled like him, clean, familiar, safe in the way that hurt the most. âIâve got you.â, he said without thinking.
The words hit harder than the cold. You closed your eyes. He used to say that all the time. Back when it meant protection. Back when it meant comfort. Back when it meant he was there for you. Now it just meant warmth without presence. Care without closeness.
Your chest tightened. It was still a nice gesture. A kind one. The kind you had been craving for months. And it made you want to cry so hard you could barely breathe.
You didnât say much on the drive home. Neither did he. His hand hovered near yours a few times like he wanted to reach but didnât know if he was allowed anymore. Back at the apartment, the silence seemed worse somehow. The same walls. The same couch. The same space where love used to live loud and easy. Something in you snapped not angrily this time, but desperately.
You dropped your bag. Turned to him. Closed the distance before fear could talk you out of it. You kissed him. It wasnât perfect. It wasnât smooth. But it was real. Your hands found his sweater, gripping like you might fall if you let go. For a heartbeat, he froze and then he kissed you back.
Soft at first. Careful. Then deeper, like muscle memory waking up. His hands settled at your waist. Your confidence flickered, fragile but there, blooming at the way he responded. The way he breathed your name like it still meant something.
Maybe, you thought. Maybe you werenât too far gone. You leaned into him, heart racing, and let your fingers slide beneath the hem of his sweater. Just a little. Just enough to feel the warmth of his skin. Gently you tugged at his belt loops. He stiffened, but not the good kind, not the kind you were hoping for. Yoongi pulled back abruptly, breath uneven, eyes dark with something that wasnât desire. It was panic, maybe. Shame. Fear. âWait.â, he said hoarsely, hands dropping from your waist like heâd been burned. The sudden space between you felt brutal. âIâŠâ, he ran a hand through his hair. Your chest caved in. âItâs not you.â, he said quickly, too quickly. You laughed softly, âDonât give me the itâs not you itâs me bullshit Yoongi. Just run away like you always do. Run off to your other woman if thatâs what you want.â Before either of you could say more you decided to leave the situation. âY/N, wait!â, he said. But you were already turning away, your voice shaking, âDonât. Please donât Yoongi.â
You locked yourself in the bathroom and turned the shower on as hot as your skin could handle, letting the water roar loud enough to drown out the sound of your own breathing breaking apart. You stood there longer than necessary, letting the steam blur everything, scrubbing at skin that felt foolish for hoping.
When you finally climbed into bed, damp hair and hollow chest, Yoongi was already asleep. On his side. Back turned to you. You lay there staring at the ceiling, counting the seconds between his breaths, wondering how two people could be this close and feel worlds apart.
There was an increase in tension between the two of you over the next few days. It was almost unbearable. Then on a Thursday the lock to the front door turned sometime after midnight.
You were half-asleep on the couch when you heard it. The uneven scrape of the key, the door opening too hard. Your eyes snapped open.
Yoongi stumbled in. His jacket was half off his shoulders, hair mussed, eyes too bright in a way that immediately told you everything you didnât want to know. The smell of alcohol reached you before he did.
âYoongi.â, you said softly, sitting up, âYouâre late.â He scoffed, kicking the door shut with more force than necessary, âYes and youâre going to scold me for it.â That stung. You stood anyway, instinct overriding pride, âYouâre drunk.â
âIâm fine.â, he said tossing the receipt from the taxi onto the table, âY/N, you always do this. Youâre always waiting. Always watching.â You folded your arms around yourself, âI wasnât watching. I was worried. I just wanted to know if you were coming home.â
âOf course Iâm coming home.â, he snapped, âWhere else would I go?â You stared at him, âYou didnât even text. Not once. You couldâve said you were going out.â
He ran a hand through his hair, âBecause every time I say anything Iâm met with this. An interrogation. I canât breathe in my own house.â You followed him, âIâm not interrogating you Yoongi. Iâm asking for the bare minimum. A quick text like hey going out. Be home late.â
He turned too fast, âThen maybe your minimum is too much for me.â, he said, sharp and careless. The words hit hard. âFine.â you whispered, âGo. Walk away. Thatâs what youâre best at.â
He scoffed again and turned but his foot caught on the edge of the rug. The sound was ugly. A thud and a sharp curse as he went down, shoulder hitting the wall, then the floor. For a split second, all the anger drained out of you, replaced by something raw and terrified.
âYoongi!â, you rushed forward, dropping to your knees beside him, âAre you okay?â
âI said Iâm fine.â, he grumbled, trying and failing to push himself up. His coordination was gone, his body betraying him. âStop.â, you said gently, hands already on him, âPlease. Youâre going to hurt yourself.â He sagged, frustration leaking out of him in a broken exhale, âYou shouldnât be taking care of me.â And yet he didnât pull away when you helped him up.
You guided him to the couch, sat him down and returned with a glass of water. He chugged it and then slumped back, eyes fluttering, the fight draining out of him now that his body couldnât keep up.
You sat beside him, hesitant. His head tipped toward you. Heavy and trusting. He shifted until his cheek rested against your thigh, arms loosely around your leg like it was the most natural thing in the world. A soft sound left him that was half sigh, half relief as sleep claimed him almost instantly.
Your breath caught. This was what youâd been starving for. His warmth. His closeness. The way he melted into you like this was home. You threaded your fingers through his hair before you could stop yourself. He stirred, pressing closer, whispering your name so quietly you almost didnât hear it.
And thatâs when it broke you. Tears slipped down your cheeks, silent and hot. You covered your mouth, shoulders shaking. Because he only did this when he wasnât fully here. Because tomorrow heâd wake up distant again. Apologetic, maybe. Closed off, definitely.
Because the affection you craved was real but only when the alcohol loosened the walls heâd built. But you stayed anyway. You stayed with his weight on your lap, your hand in his hair, loving him in the dark while he slept through it. And it hurt more than being alone.
By morning, he was gone. No note. No text. Just the quiet hum of an apartment that felt too big for one person. You decided to do laundry because it was something you could control. You sorted mindlessly, pulling items from pockets, tossing them into piles. Change. Receipts. A crumpled napkin.
Thenâ
Pink.
You froze.
You pulled the card free, smoothing it out with your thumb. The hearts. The stupidly cheerful color. The annoying glitter. The looping script.
V-Day ReVival
Putting the love back in love.
You stared at it for a long moment. Then, against your will you laughed soft, incredulous, a little broken. Of all nights. Of all people. You slipped the card into the counter drawer instead of throwing it away. Just in case.
After that drunken night, Yoongi slipped back into distance like it was muscle memory. He worked later. Texted even less. When he was home, he moved around you like a ghost, careful not to touch, careful not to stay.
So you stupidly still tried anyway.
You spent the entire day cooking his favorite meal. The one his mother taught you, the one he used to hover around the kitchen for, stealing bites and kissing your cheek like he couldnât help himself. The apartment filled with familiar smells, comforting and hopeful and stupidly optimistic.
You changed clothes into something comfy but still cute. Set the table. Lit a candle, then blew it out because that felt too desperate.
He came home hours later than usual. He didnât look at the stove. Didnât ask what smelled good. Didnât even take off his jacket before saying, âI already ate.â You stared at him, âWhat?â
âI went out with some friends.â, he said, loosening his tie. Casual. Oblivious. Something in you went razor sharp, âWas she there?â He stopped. Slowly, he turned to face you, eyes darkening, âWho?â
âYou know exactly who.â, you spat. His jaw clenched, âAre you seriously doing this again?â You laughed, but it came out broken, âI cooked all day, Yoongi. You didnât even notice.â
âThat doesnât meanâŠâ, he ran a hand through his hair, frustration flaring, âYou donât get to accuse me of cheating just because I forgot to text you again and youâre insecure.â
That word hit like a slap.
âInsecure?â, Your voice rose, âYou shouldâve been home with me or at the very minimum texted me that you would be late. Iâm your wife. Or did you forget that too?â He snapped back then, anger cracking through his usual restraint, âY/N Iâm exhausted. I work all the time to keep our lives together and youâŠâ
âAnd I what?â, tears burned hot and sudden, âI sit here alone? I beg for crumbs of affection? I try not to cry myself to sleep wondering why my own husband wonât touch me?â
Silence slammed into the room. You couldnât stop. Months of swallowed hurt came spilling out, ugly and shaking and real. âYou donât look at me anymore. You donât act like you want me. You donât even pretend. You donât talk to me. I feel invisible, Yoongi. I feel like Iâm married to someone who already left.â His face paled, âThatâs notâŠâ
âI want a divorce.â, you said suddenly, The words hung there. You froze. He froze. You hadnât planned to say it. The second it left your mouth, you wished you could grab it back, shove it down, pretend it never existed. Yoongi looked like youâd knocked the air out of him.
âI didnâtâŠâ, Your voice broke, âI didnât meanâŠâ But the damage was done. You turned and ran into the bedroom, closing the door behind you like it could protect you from what you had just shattered. You cried into your pillow until your chest hurt, until exhaustion dragged you under.
Hours later, the mattress dipped. Yoongi lay down beside you. He didnât touch you, but the closeness alone felt overwhelming. His presence was warm and solid and achingly familiar. It was the closest he had been in so long that it hurt worse than the distance.
âY/N I donât want a divorce.â, he said quietly into the dark, âTell me how to fix this.â You swallowed hard, âDo youâŠdo you still love me?â The question sat between you, fragile and terrifying.
He didnât answer. You waited. Counted breaths. Counted heartbeats. Nothing. You turned over, facing away from him and let your eyes close before the tears could fall again.
The next morning, the apartment felt hollow. You moved through it on autopilot, poured coffee you didnât drink, stared out the window like you might see clarity written in the sky. Eventually, your eyes landed on the counter.
The pink card. You picked it up, thumb brushing over the hearts, over the ridiculous optimism of it.
You hesitated. Then with hands shaking you dialed the number.
When Taehyung answered warm, calm, unsurprised you finally let yourself breathe.
âI think.â, you said softly, âI need help.â
You met Taehyung at a small coffee shop tucked between a bookstore and a florist. He was already there when you arrived, seated by the window, long legs folded casually, hands wrapped around a mug. When he spotted you, his face lit up in that same warm, disarming way it had on the sidewalk. âYou came.â, he said, standing, âThatâs step zero, by the way.â
You raised a brow, âThere are steps?â
âOh, absolutely.â, he said, grinning as he pulled out the chair for you, âI donât freelance chaos. I run a system.â You snorted despite yourself and sat down, âYou really are a relationship strategist.â
âTop-tier.â, he said solemnly, âCertified by good vibes and heartbreak.â
Coffee was ordered. Small talk happened easily, too easily, and for the first time in a while, you didnât feel like you were walking on emotional glass. âSo Y/N.â, Taehyung said eventually, leaning back, âTell me everything. And donât protect him. I canât fix what you sugarcoat.â
So you did. You told him about the silence. The loneliness. The way loving Yoongi felt like shouting into a void. You told him about the dinner, the coworker, the text, the word divorce that still echoed in your chest.
Taehyung listened. Really listened. No interruptions. No judgments. Just thoughtful nods and soft hums of understanding. When you finished, he took a slow sip of his coffee.
âOkay.â, he said.â, Good news first.â You blinked, âThereâs good news?â
âYes.â, he said easily, âYour husband is not cheating on you.â Your heart stuttered, âHow do you know?â
âBecause a cheater would make room for you in their life so that you donât get suspicious that something is going on.â, he replied, âYoongiâs just⊠emotionally constipated.â You choked on a laugh, âIâm sorryâŠwhat?â
âHeâs full of feelings.â, Taehyung continued calmly, âAnd absolutely no idea how to pass them.â You covered your mouth, laughter bubbling up for the first time in days, ThatâsâŠactually unfortunately accurate.â
âSecond good thing.â, he went on, âHe doesnât want a divorce.â
âHe also couldnât say he loves me.â, you reminded him quietly. Taehyungâs expression softened, âSometimes love isnât gone. Sometimes itâs buried under fear, guilt, and burnout and just dying to come out.â He reached into his bag and pulled out a pink folder that fully matched the card, hearts and glitter all. You stared, âYouâre really committed to the theme.â
âBrand consistency matters.â, he said ââŠPlus there was a sale.â Then he slid a paper across the table, âThis is my Five-Step ReVival Plan.â
You opened it, equal parts amused and desperate.
Taehyungâs Five-Step Guide to Saving Your Marriage
Step One: Stop Chasing.
âRight now.â, he explained, âyouâre doing emotional CPR on someone who hasnât admitted theyâre drowning. You pull back, not to punish him, but for both of you to breathe.â
Step Two: Change the Pattern.
âNo more yelling. No more late-night interrogations. You donât fight him when heâs used to fighting. Change it up.â
Step Three: Make Him Feel Safe to Be Honest.
âNot comfortable. Safe. Thereâs a difference. This means asking questions and surviving the answers without exploding even if they arenât what you were looking for. You winced, âThat soundsâŠhard.â
âIt is.â, he agreed cheerfully, âGrowth usually sucks.â
Step Four: Rebuild Physical Closeness Without Pressure.
âTouch without expectations. Sit near him. Brush his hand. Remind his body what home feels like before asking it for passion.â Your chest tightened at that.
Step Five: One Brave Truth.
âEach of you gets one moment to say the thing you are most afraid will end everything. Thatâs where the real healing starts.â
He closed the folder gently. âDo you guarantee itâll work?â, you asked. Taehyung smiled, soft and honest, âNo. But I guarantee you wonât keep slowly breaking the way you are now.â You stared down at the pink folder, then back up at him, âWhen do we start?â He lifted his mug in a small toast, âAs soon as youâre ready to be brave.â
You started the very same night.
Step One: Stop Chasing.
It felt wrong immediately like holding your breath on purpose. When Yoongi came home, you didnât rush to the door. You didnât ask how his day was. You didnât search his face for crumbs of affection or signs of what his mood was like. You stayed on the couch, legs tucked under you, book open but unread.
He paused when he saw you. Not because you ignored him, but because you didnât move. âHey.â, he said cautiously, like he was approaching a skittish animal. You glanced up, âHi.â
That was it. No follow-up questions. No tension-filled silence waiting for him to fill it. You went back to your book. Yoongi stood there for a moment longer than necessary. You could feel his confusion like static in the air.
He kicked off his shoes. Set his bag down. Hovered.
âDid you eat?â, he asked.
âYes.â
âWhat did you have?â
You shrugged lightly, âPasta.â
He frowned, not angry, justâŠconfused, âYou usuallyâŠâ
âI know.â, you said gently, still not looking at him.
That was the first crack. The rest of the evening passed quietly. You didnât cook hike dinner. You didnât remind him there was food in the fridge. When he opened it himself and stared inside like he expected it to magically appear you nearly smiled.
Later, you went to bed without waiting for him. Without even trying to get him to follow you. That one shook him. He slipped in soon after you, movements careful, like he wasnât sure if he was allowed to be there any more. He laid down on his side of the bed and remained still.
âYouâre mad.â, he said finally. You turned to face him. Calm. Not cold, just steady, âNo. Iâm tired.â He swallowed, âOf me?â You considered that. âOf chasing someone who doesnât seem to want to be chased.â, you replied instead.
He didnât respond.
The next few days were more of the same. You stopped hovering. Stopped filling every gap with effort. You went for walks by yourself. You made plans with friends. You laughed at your phone and didnât explain why. You lived quietly, deliberately, without orbiting him.
Yoongi didnât like it. He started watching you. Not subtly, either. From the doorway. From across the room. Like he was trying to figure out when the rules changed and why no one had told him.
On the third night, he cracked. You were folding laundry when he came in and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.
âY/N youâre different.â, he said. You didnât look up, âI am.â
âWhat are you doing this for?â, his voice was tight. Not angry but nervous. You folded a shirt carefully, âIâm giving us space.â
âThatâs not what this feels like.â, he said, âIt feels like youâre leaving.â That got your attention. You met his eyes then and really looked at him. He looked tired and scared. Smaller somehow. âIâm not leaving.â, you said softly, âIâm just not chasing you anymore.â His jaw clenched, âSo thatâs it? You justâŠstop trying?â You shook your head, âNo. I stop hurting myself.â
That one landed hard. He ran a hand over his face, exhaling sharply, âI donât know how to do this if you pull away.â You stepped closer, not touching, but close enough that he could feel you, âIâve been doing it alone for months. Youâll figure it out.â
Something in his expression shifted. Guilt. Regret. Fear. That night, when you climbed into bed, Yoongi followed immediately. He got closer than he had in weeks. Not touching but facing you. It was small but it was a start.
Step Two: Change the Pattern.
This one was harder than Step One. Not because it required effort, but because it required restraint.
The old pattern was instinct. Muscle memory. Hurt â anger â raised voices â silence â guilt â repeat. You and Yoongi had danced that miserable choreography so many times you could do it in your sleep.
So when the moment came, when he forgot to text that he would be late again, when the familiar ache started crawling up your spine, you felt the urge surge fast and sharp.
You inhaled. And you didnât bite. Yoongi walked in close to midnight, shoulders slumped, tie loosened, exhaustion clinging to him like a second coat. He braced himself the second he saw you at the kitchen counter. You could tell. His jaw tightened. His eyes flicked toward the clock.
âIâm sorry.â, he said quickly, âI lost track of time. IâŠ.â
âOkay.â, you said. Just that. He stopped short, âOkay?â You nodded, still stirring your tea, âYouâre home. Youâre safe. Thatâs all that matters.â
He looked confused, âThatâsâŠit?â You nodded, âYes.â He stared at you like youâd started speaking another language. âYouâre not mad?â, he asked carefully. You met his eyes, âI am. But Iâm not going to yell about it.â That seemed to unsettle him more than any argument ever had.
The next test came two days later. You were sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when he sat down beside you, too close, too tense. You knew that posture. It meant he was bracing for a fight. âY/N we need to talk.â, he said. Old you wouldâve sighed. Rolled your eyes. Armed yourself for defense. Instead, you locked your phone and turned fully toward him. âOkay.â, you said, âWhatâs going on?â He blinked, âYouâreâŠnot defensive.â
âYou said we needed to talk so Iâm listening.â, you replied. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, clearly thrown. Finally, he said, âI donât know what you want from me anymore.â You nodded slowly, âThatâs fair.â He frowned, âThatâs it? Youâre not going to list everything Iâve done wrong?â You smiled faintly, âI could. But it wouldnât help.â He exhaled sharply, rubbing his hands together, âYouâre changing the rules.â
âNo Yoongi.â, you said gently, âIâm changing the pattern.â That was when frustration cracked through him, not explosive, but raw. âI donât know how to talk if weâre not fighting.â, he admitted quietly, âI know how to defend myself. I donât know how toâŠdo this.âYour chest tightened, but you stayed steady, âThen we learn how to do this.â
Another night, another near-miss. He came home irritable, snapped about something small, a light left on in the front hallway. The words came sharper than necessary. Your heart kicked. The old response to spit hate burned on your tongue. Instead, you stood up and said calmly, âIâm not your enemy.â
He froze.
âIâm not attacking you.â, you continued, âSo I wonât let you take your stress out on me.â Silence stretched. Then his shoulders sagged. âIâm sorry.â, he said, voice rough, âI didnât mean toâŠâ
âI know.â, you said. And you meant it. That night, something small but seismic happened.
You were brushing your teeth when you felt him stop behind you. You caught his reflection in the mirror. It was hesitant, unsure, like he was standing at the edge of something fragile. âAre youâŠgiving up?â, he asked so quietly you almost didnât hear him. You turned, toothbrush still in hand, âNo. Iâm staying, but differently.â
He nodded slowly, like he was filing that away. Later, in bed, he shifted a little closer. Not touching. But close enough that you could feel his warmth. âYou scare me a little right now.â he admitted in the dark. You smiled sadly, âGood.â He huffed a breath of laughter despite himself, âThatâs not comforting.â
âItâs honest.â, you said, âAnd thatâs new for us.â He didnât pull away. And when he finally fell asleep, his arm rested against yours, accidental, maybe. But neither of you moved it.
You met Taehyung three days later. Same coffee shop. Same corner table. Same stupidly pink folder, this time decorated with a new sticker that read Communication is Sexy.
âYouâre glowing.â, Taehyung said the second you sat down. You snorted, âI slept five hours straight. Donât exaggerate.â
âFive hours is a miracle in a failing marriage.â, he replied seriously, âSo Iâll take it.â
You updated him about the quiet, the restraint, the way Yoongi seemed unsettled but present. About the way he stayed closer now. Watched more. Spoke softer. Taehyung nodded thoughtfully, âThatâs good. Discomfort means change is working.â
âI hate that.â, you said. âEveryone does.â, he added cheerfully, âGrowth is rude.â You laughed, then sighed, âI think heâs scared.â
âOf losing you.â, Taehyung corrected gently, âWhich is new.â You paused, âYou think so?â
âOh, absolutely.â, he said, âBefore, he assumed you were a constant. Now youâre a choice he has to make. That terrifies him.â
You didnât notice Taehyungâs eyes darting across the street during your conversation. Yoongi had left work early which was rare, impulsive, driven by a restlessness he couldnât name. He was halfway to your favorite bakery when he saw you through the cafĂ© window.
Laughing. Leaning forward. With some other man. The guy was tall. Too handsome and way too close.
Yoongi stopped short, heart slamming into his ribs. He stood there longer than he should have, watching you smile at another man the way you used to smile at him. The way you hadnât in months. He didnât go inside. He went home with a knot in his stomach and fear gnawing sharp and unfamiliar.
That night, he couldnât focus. Couldnât eat. Couldnât sit still. You moved around the apartment calmly, unaware and it only made it worse. Finally, when you curled up on the couch with a blanket, he sat at the opposite end, hands clasped so tightly his knuckles went white.
âY/NâŠCan I ask you something?â, he said. You looked up, âOf course.â His voice wavered, âWh-Who was that man you were with today?â Your heart skipped, What?â
âAt the cafĂ©.â, he added quickly, âI saw you with this guy.â Oh. You processed it slowly and then nodded, âTaehyung.â His jaw tightened, âYou seemedâŠclose.â
âWe were just talking.â, you said softly. âAbout what?â, the edge in his voice was sharp with something that wasnât anger. You studied him carefully. Step Three echoed in your head.
Make him feel safe to be honest.
You softened your tone, âAbout us.â That made him flinch. âYou donât get to be angry.â, you added gently, âJust honest.â He exhaled hard, staring at the floor, âI justâŠI thought maybe youâdâŠfound someone else.â
Your chest ached at the rawness of it, âIs that what you think of me? Werenât you upset with me for thinking the same thing about you and your coworker?â
âNoâŠI knowâŠâ, he said quickly, âI justâŠI donât know where I stand anymore.â You shifted closer, not touching, but present, âYoongi tell me what youâre actually afraid of.â
He swallowed. His voice dropped, âThat youâll leaveâŠThat you already haveâŠ.and itâs all my fault.â You nodded slowly, âThank you for saying it.â He looked up, surprised, âYouâre not mad?â
âNo.â, you said softly, âIâm glad you told me.â
There was a long moment of silence. âTaehyung is helping me.â, you explained, âBecause I didnât know how to reach you anymore.â Yoongi absorbed that, his shoulders sagging, âI didnât realize how far I pushed you away.â
âI know.â, you said, âBut I canât carry this alone any more.â He nodded, eyes shiny, âI donât want to lose you Y/N.â You held his gaze, âThen talk to me. Even when itâs ugly. Even when youâre scared. Even when you think it means nothing.â His voice broke, âI donât know how.â You smiled faintly, âNeither do I. But weâre learning.â
He sat there for a long moment then, carefully, he reached out and took your hand. It was tentative. Uncertain. But it was honest. And for the first time, he didnât pull away. That was improvement.
Step Four had been sitting in your chest like a live wire all week. Rebuild physical closeness without pressure.
Easy for Taehyung to say. He wasnât the one whose marriage had gone months without even a kiss that meant anything. He wasnât the one whose body had learned how to ache quietly.
You tried anyway. You brushed past Yoongi in the hallway, fingers grazing his arm like it was accidental. Offering to help adjust his belt when it really didnât need it. You leaned close to show him something on your phone, chest pressing into his arm. You sat beside him on the couch, thigh gently touching his.
Nothing. No flinch. No inhale. No reaction at all. It hurt more than outright rejection. It made you feel invisible. By Friday, you caved and called Taehyung, âI think Iâm doing it wrong.â, you admitted the second he answered. âY/N youâre overthinking it.â, he said calmly, âWhich means itâs time for some help. Open your door.â You blinked, âWhat?â
There was a knock. You stared at your phone, then at the door, then slowly walked over and opened it. Taehyung stood there like this was the most normal thing in the world, dressed impeccably in a three piece suit that was too dressed up for a random Friday afternoon. He was holding a sparkly pink gift bag with tissue paper puffed out the top.
âHowâŠâ, you started, âHow do you even know where I live?â He waved a hand dismissively, âSmall details are unimportant.â
âTaehyungâŠâ
âTrust me.â, he said, pressing the bag into your hands, âWhatâs inside will absolutely get his attention.â You glanced down, suddenly nervous, âI donât know ifâŠâ
âYou donât have to do anything.â, he interrupted gently, â This can be for you first. Confidence is contagious.â
He stepped back, winked and then turned and walked down the hall like you were supposed to know what all of that meant in your own.
You closed the door slowly. In the bag was a box, pink too. Inside the boxâŠOh.
It was a white lace lingerie set. Elegant. Soft. Not cheap or cartoonish. It was beautiful in a quiet and devastating way. Delicate straps. Intricate patterns. Something made to be admired, not rushed.
Your stomach twisted. Immediately, the doubts rushed in.
What if he doesnât look?
What if he does look but doesnât care?
What if you finally put yourself out there and still get rejected?
The thought alone made your chest ache. You shoved the box into the back of your closet and pretended it didnât exist.
Until one afternoon when you were home alone, sunlight spilling across the bedroom floor, the apartment quiet except for the hum of the refrigerator. You couldnât stop thinking about it. Not about Yoongi. About you. You pulled the box back out. Just to see how you would look you told yourself. Just for you.
You changed slowly, carefully, nerves fluttering as you adjusted the straps. When you finally looked in the mirror, you froze.
It fit perfectly. Not in a forced, trying-too-hard way but like it had been designed specifically for your body. It hugged your curves in the right spots, highlighted softness youâd forgotten was there. You didnât look desperate.
You looked⊠beautifulâŠethereal. Confident. Desired.
Your shoulders relaxed. Your spine straightened. For the first time in a long time, you smiled at your own reflection. Maybe Taehyung was right. Maybe this wasnât about Yoongi at all.
After youâd had enough you reached for your clothes to change and jumped. Yoongi stood in the doorway. Wide-eyed. Jaw dropped. Frozen like heâd just walked into something holy and had no idea what to do with himself.
Neither of you spoke. The air went thick. And for the first time in months, Yoongi looked at you like he didnât want to look away.
You stopped. Every nerve lit up at once with shock, embarrassment, heat rushing straight to your face. Your hands flew up on instinct, trying to cover yourself, suddenly hyperaware of every inch of skin, every stretch mark, every bump, every vulnerable curve you had just been admiring alone. You didnât know why because it wasnât like he hadnât seen it all before. It just seemedâŠdifferent this time.
âIâŠYoongi, I didnâtâŠâ, you stammered, fumbling for the robe draped over the chair.
âWait.â His voice wasnât sharp. It was quiet. Rough. AlmostâŠundone. You felt his hand close gently around your wrist before you could pull the fabric around yourself. Not tight. Not demanding. Just enough to stop you. âDonât cover up.â, he said softly, âPlease.â
You swallowed hard, heart pounding, âIâm sorry, I didnât know you were home. I was justâŠâ He shook his head, eyes never leaving you, âNo. Donât apologize.â Your chest rose and fell fast, âI didnât mean for you to see me like this.â
âBut Iâm glad I did.â, he said. Something in his tone made you look up. He looked like a man who had forgotten how to breathe. Like the ground had shifted under him and he didnât want it to stop.
âYouâreâŠâ, he started then stopped, swallowing hard, âWow Y/N youâre beautiful.â The words landed heavy. Real. You laughed weakly, nerves fraying, âYou donât have to say that.â
âI do.â, he said immediately, âBecause I should have been saying it this entire time.â
His thumb brushed lightly over the inside of your wrist barely there, almost accidental. The contact sent a shiver up your arm, and his breath hitched when he noticed.
âI didnât realize.â, he continued quietly, âJust how much Iâd stopped admiring you.â Your voice came out small, âI wasnât doing this for you.â He nodded, âI know and you deserve that.â That surprised you. âI can tell.â, he added, âYou lookâŠdifferent. Like you remembered something.â You did. You remembered how it felt to be wanted. Even if, for once, it was by yourself.
Yoongi took a cautious step closer, like he was approaching something fragile. He didnât reach for you. Just stood there, close enough that you could feel his warmth, his presence grounding and terrifying all at once.
âCan IâŠ?â, he asked quietly like even the idea of touching you felt like something he needed permission for now. Your throat tightened. âYes.â, you whispered. His hand lifted slowly, giving you time to pull away. When you didnât, his fingers brushed your waist, warm, gentle, familiar in a way that made your eyes sting.
âI missed this.â, he admitted, âMore than I realized.â What happened next was different than you remembered. It wasnât rushed. It wasnât desperate. It was careful. Tender. Two people standing in the wreckage choosing to reach for each other instead of turning away.
He didnât rush you. That was the first thing you noticed. Yoongiâs hands stayed warm and steady at your waist, thumbs brushing soft, grounding circles like he was reminding both of you that this was real, that you were real.
âIâve missed you.â, he murmured again, forehead resting against yours, âSo much it hurts.â Your hands slid up his chest, fingers curling into his shirt like you needed proof he wouldnât disappear, âThen donât hold back,â you whispered, âShow me how you feel.â
Something in his eyes shifted. Not hunger alone but something closer to devotion. He kissed you slowly like he was relearning you. His lips were warm, familiar, trembling just slightly and when you kissed him back with the same urgency youâd been holding in for nearly a year, he let out a quiet, broken sound against your mouth.
Clothes became less important. Time did too. When he finally laid you back on the bed, he hovered for a second, searching your face, âTell me if you want to stop.â You smiled softly, brushing your thumb along his cheek, âI need you now more than anything.â
That did it. The way he touched you after that wasnât frantic in the slightest. Every kiss lingered. Every caress spoke apology and longing and love all tangled together. You felt seen in a way you hadnât in so long it almost overwhelmed you. And when you finally came together, it wasnât just about finding release. It was about reconnection.
Yoongi held you like he was afraid you might vanish if he loosened his grip. You clung to him just as tightly, breath hitching, heart pounding, emotions spilling over until laughter mixed with tears and he kissed them both away.
âGod Y/N.â, he whispered, voice thick, âI forgot how right this feels.â You pressed your forehead to his, âWe didnât forget. We just lost our way.â
Afterwards, he didnât roll away. He stayed close, arm draped over you, fingers tracing lazy patterns on your back. You stayed tangled together, skin warm, hearts finally in sync. And for the first time in almost a year, you fell asleep in your husbandâs arms, wrapped in warmth, laughter bubbling softly between you, the weight of distance finally gone. Not fixed, but healing and doing it together.
You met Taehyung again two days later. Same café. Same corner table. Same pink folder that was now noticeably thicker like he was keeping notes. The moment you sat down, he leaned forward, eyes bright with barely contained curiosity.
âSo Y/NâŠâ, he said with a smirk in his voice, âStep Four.â You stared into your coffee. Your ears burned red. âOh.â, he grinned, âThat good, huh?âYou groaned, dropping your forehead onto the table, âI hate you.â He laughed, delighted, âIâll take that as a success.â
You lifted your head, trying and failing to look composed, âIt wasâŠdifferent. Better than it had been for a while. It was slower. Like we actually saw each other again and we werenât just doing it to get it over with.â
Taehyung nodded, âPhysical intimacy works best when itâs a show of love and not just a performance.â You blinked, âThat sounds like one of those decorative signs someone would hang in their bedroom.â
âI am working on merch.â, he said seriously. You laughed, then sobered, âIt didnât fix everything though.â
âGood.â, he said gently, âIt wasnât supposed to. You donât want a relationship solely based on sex.â He flipped the folder open, turning it so you could see the final page.
Step Five: One Brave Truth.
âThis is the hard one.â, Taehyung said, âAnd also the most important.â You swallowed, âI know.â
âHereâs the thing.â, he continued, âStep Five doesnât work if itâs done halfway. No softening. No protecting. No âI didnât mean it like that.â You felt your stomach knot, âWhat if the truth breaks us?â He met your eyes, serious now, âThen it wasnât the truth that broke you. It was the silence before it.â
You exhaled slowly. âWhat does it look like?â, you asked. âEach of you says the thing youâre most afraid to say out loud.â, he explained, âThe thought you bury because youâre terrified itâll end everything.â Your chest tightened as Yoongiâs unanswered I love you echoed in your mind.
He added, âAnd I can be there as well. Not to intervene. Just to witness. Sometimes having a third person present keeps you from running away.â You hesitated, âYoongi might hate that.â
âHe might.â, Taehyung agreed, âBut if heâs serious about saving this, heâll show up.â You stared out the window for a moment, watching couples pass by hands linked, steps in sync. âWhen do we do this?â, you asked. Taehyung smiled softly, âWhenever youâre both brave enough.â You nodded slowly, heart pounding not with fear this time, but resolve, âIâll talk to him.â Taehyung closed the folder and slid it away, standing, âTell him this isnât an ambush against him. Itâs an invitation.â
âTo what?â, you asked. He paused at the table, eyes warm and knowing, âTo finally stop lying to each other and pretending that it doesnât matter.â And as you watched him leave you realized something important: Step Five wasnât just about saving your marriage. It was about finding out if it was real.
You told Yoongi about Taehyung on a quiet night, sitting side by side on the couch, knees touching but not tangled. You didnât oversell it. You didnât beg. âI want us to do Step Five.â, you said simply, âTogether.â Yoongi stared at the wall for a long moment. You could practically hear the gears grinding in his head. âWithâŠhim?â, he asked finally.
âYes.â, you nodded. His jaw tightened, âI donât like the idea of some stranger sitting there while weâŠâ, he stopped and exhaled, âWhile we say things we canât take back that could make or break our marriage.â
âThatâs the point.â, you said gently, âIâm scared too.â That got his attention. âIâm not forcing you to do this.â, you added, âYou can walk away. But if you donât show upâŠI think Iâll have my answer.â He didnât respond right away. That night, he held you closer than usual. Not desperate just thoughtful. Like a man weighing something precious in his hands. âIâll go.â, he said quietly before you fell asleep, âBut Iâm not promising Iâll like it.â You smiled into his chest, â I donât need you to like it. I just need you to be there.â
The day of the meeting you were convinced he wouldnât show. You arrived early, heart racing, fingers twisted around the strap of your bag. Taehyung opened the door a second later. He smiled when he saw you standing there.
His office was warm and calm and intentionally non-threatening with soft pink chairs angled toward each other, neutral colors on the walls, the fluffiest white rug youâd ever felt, twinkling fairy lights throughout, a window letting in afternoon light. No desk separating anyone. No hierarchy. Just space.
Taehyung gestured for you to sit. âHeâll come.â, he said calmly. âYou donât know him.â, you whispered. âI know the fear of loosing someone.â, Taehyung replied, âAnd I know more about love than anyone else.â
The door opened. Yoongi walked in. Your breath caught. He looked uncomfortable with his hands shoved into his coat pockets, shoulders tense, but he was there. His eyes found yours immediately, relief flickering. Taehyung stood, âYoongi. Iâm Taehyung. Yoongi shook his hand stiffly, âI know. There was a moment of tension, two men measuring each other for very different reasons.
âIâm not here to judge.â, Taehyung said, âIâm just here to keep you both from running away.â Yoongi let out a humorless huff, âGood luck with that.â You reached for his hand on the couch next to you. He squeezed back. Taehyung nodded, âWho wants to go first?â Your stomach flipped. This was it. âI will.â, you said. Yoongi turned to you, eyes searching, anxious. You took a breath and said the thing you had been afraid would destroy everything.
âMy truth.â, you said softly, âIs that I started to hate you when I stopped feeling like your wife. I started to resent you for making me feel that way. I felt like a burden. Like something you loved once but didnât know what to do with anymore.â
Yoongiâs grip tightened.
âI started wondering if the problem was me. If I wasnât enough to come home to. If you didnât find me attractive any more. If you stayed because leaving felt like too much work.â Tears slid down your cheeks. You didnât wipe them away. âAnd the scariest part.â, you finished, âIs that I started believing I could disappear from your life and you would be⊠relievedâŠbecause you didnât love me any more. It made me start to hate the both of us.â
The room was silent. Yoongi looked like heâd been punched in the chest. Taehyung waited patiently. âYour turn Yoongi.â, he said gently. Yoongi swallowed hard. His voice was rough when he spoke.
âMy truth.â, he said, staring at the table, âis that I started feeling the depression a little over a year ago. I couldnât shake it. So I convinced myself you would be better off without me. That if I kept my distance, I couldnât fail you too.â He looked up at you then, eyes wet and unguarded. âI was terrified you would see how broken I felt. How scared I was that one day youâd realize you deserved someone stronger.â, his voice cracked, âSo I worked and I hid. I told myself that not bringing you down with me was the best thing I could do for you even if it killed me.â He shook his head slowly, âY/N I didnât stop loving you. IâŠjust stopped believing I was worth being loved and I didnât want you to waste your time on me.â
Your chest cracked open. Taehyung let the silence settle, then spoke softly, âYou both did the bravest thing there is and one of the hardest things to do in a relationship.â
You reached up and cupped Yoongiâs face. He leaned into your touch like it was oxygen. âIâm still here.â, you whispered. âI know.â, he said, voice breaking, âAnd I donât want to lose you. I love you too much Y/N.â Taehyung stood, quietly gathering his things. âThatâs my cue.â, he said, âIâll be outside. You two keep talking. This partâs just for you.â
As he walked away, Yoongi pulled you into his arms. He held you for a long moment, his chin resting against your hair, his arms firm like he was afraid letting go would undo everything youâd just said. âI love youâs.â, repeated like a mantra between you both.
âI didnât know how to explain it.â, he murmured eventually, âThe way depression messes with your head. One day you wake up and everything feelsâŠdulled, dark, the smallest things take the most effort. Your thoughts, your body. Every want feels muted.â You pulled back just enough to look at him.
âI was scared of intimacy.â, he admitted quietly, âNot because I didnât want you. God, I wanted you all the time.â His jaw tightened, âBut my mind would spiral. What if I couldnât feel what I was supposed to? What if my body didnât respond? What if you saw that and thought I didnât desire you anymore?â
Your throat closed.
âI kept thinking that disappointing you physically infront of you would hurt worse than hurting you emotionally by pulling away completely.â, he said, âI know how backwards that sounds.â
âIt doesnât.â, you shook your head. He nodded, âI thought if I avoided touching you, I could protect you from seeing how broken I feltâŠTurns out I was just protecting my shame. My therapist helped me see that.â
You brushed your thumb under his eye, catching a tear before it fell.
âWhen did you start therapy?â, you asked gently. âThe day after you asked for a divorce.â, he replied, âYou saying that scared me enough to admit I couldnât do it alone.â He gave a small, almost embarrassed shrug, âItâs hard. And slow. ButâŠIâm learning that depression lies. About my worth. About what you deserve from me as your partner. I have to do better.â
You leaned your forehead against his, âI wish you had told me.â, you said softly. âI know. I promise I will now. Even when itâs uglyâŠEspecially then.â You nodded, âThen I promise not to take your silence as rejection. And if I start feeling invisible again, Iâll tell you instead of letting it fester into something angrier.â
He huffed a shaky laugh, âWeâre really out here making vows 2.0, huh?â
âApparently.â, you laughed, smiling through tears. He kissed you gently, âI promise to keep showing up. Even when my brain tells me to disappear.â
âAnd I promise.â, you said voice steady, âto stay. Not because itâs easy. But because itâs you.â
The door creaked softly as Taehyung reappeared, leaning casually against the frame like he hadnât just facilitated the revival of your marriage. Yoongi glanced at him, then back at you, lips twitching, âI think he thinks heâs like some kind of Cupid or something.â
Taehyungâs mouth curved into a slow, knowing smirk. âYeah people keep saying that for some reason.â, he said as he handed Yoongi another pink, heart-covered business card, âTell your friends. I donât only save marriagesâŠIâm also a great matchmaker too.â
A few weeks later, you met Taehyung for coffee again to catch up and discuss how things had been going. This time you were smiling before you even sat down. He noticed immediately, âThatâs a different face. Less Iâm ready to give up.â
You laughed, âThings areâŠgood. Not perfect. We still mess up but we talk now. He comes home earlier. He reaches for me. I donât feel like Iâm begging to be loved anymore.â Taehyung nodded, satisfied, âProgress, not perfection. Thatâs the goal.â
âThere were hiccups.â, you admitted, âBad days. Old habits creeping in.â
âOf course. You didnât break in a day. You donât heal in one either.â, he smiled. You wrapped both hands around your mug, warmth seeping into your palms, âI really donât think we would be here without you.â Something softened in his expression not pride but something gentler.
âI just pointed at doors.â, he said, âYou walked through them.â You hesitated, then smiled sheepishly, âSoâŠI should probably askâŠHow much do I owe you?â He blinked once. Then laughed, âNo.â You frowned, âNoâŠ?â
âNo charge.â, he repeated, waving it off like you had asked something completely ridiculous. You straightened, âTaehyung. You showed up in my life randomly with pink hearts and glitter. You put a lot of time and effort into this. You basically saved my marriage. I have to pay you.â He stood, slipping on his coat with infuriating calm, âAlready taken care of.â You stared at him, âIâm serious. Is it a lump sum or by the hour? Cash? Credit Card?â
He smiled, âIâm serious too. No charge.â
âThat doesnât make sense.â, you said, âWhy would you do all of this for free?â He paused, hand on the back of his chair, then leaned down just enough that his voice dropped into something warm and knowing. âSome jobs Y/N.â, he said, eyes sparkling, âArenât about money.â You searched his face, âThen what are they about?â
He smiled. It was slow, almost mischievous and then he tapped the table once, right near your coffee cup.
âLove.â, he said simply, âSecond chances. And helping people find their way back to the happiness they were already standing right in front of.â He straightened, took a step back, then added lightly, âBesidesâŠIâve always had a soft spot for Valentineâs Day so itâs kind of like a major job perk.â
Your breath caught. He winked. You swear you saw faint fluffy wings pop out behind him for just barely a second but then they were gone.
Before you could say another word, he turned and walked away leaving you staring after him, heart full, marriage healing, and the strangest certainty settling into your bones.
That maybeâŠJust maybeâŠ
On Valentineâs Day you had met Cupid and he was the one that helped change your life forever.
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