Galactic Pretty Boy

I do consider Wolverine's interactions with Jean and Scott in the first X-Men movie to be sort of an inverse unicorn hunter scenario. sometimes the unicorn hunts you. aggressively.

the thing is. Logan finally makes one (1) pass at Scott that's so straightforward even Scott can't write it off as homoerotic bickering over Jean, and it sends him into a tailspin. he doesn't even answer he just leaves the room. gracelessly. listen it's 2001 and like, okay, obviously Professor X is gay, Scott knows that, he's fine with it but like. jesus christ. he has enough problems with the whole mutant thing; Scott Summers has not been exploring the lush garden of latent bisexuality. plus he's like SO coupled up with Jean so it doesn't even matter, right? it doesn't even matter and he never had to think about this again, except he does and he's dating a telepath (FUCK) and she Knows something is up and he can't brush it off forever so he tries (fails) to casually bring it up. haha hey Jean you know I always thought Logan had a bit of a crush on you, but I think he tried coming onto me the other day, can you believe it? ("I think he tried coming onto me" here means "he offered to suck my dick with all the subtlety you'd expect from a man who's very popular in truck stop bathrooms," btw.) and Jean Grey, the Dark Phujoshi herself, cannot hide that this is huge for her. this solves so many of her problems. she's salivating and Scott can see it and she's realizing too late oh no Scott was Not into it like that, abort mission hard. except he saw how excited she was for a split second before she got a lid on it, so he knows, and she knows he knows, and he know she knows he knows. and now Scott can't Stop thinking about it, and the more he tries to not think about it the more he does, vicious cycle, and he keeps having these dreams about. well. what if. what if I did let him suck me off a little. which Jean knows about, obviously, because she's a telepath (FUCK). so she knows. and he knows she knows. and she must know that he knows she knows. but neither of them are saying anything about it, just sweating it out while Logan continues to slut around the school in a white tank top pretending he's not playing six dimensional mind game chess to land the plane on this threesome.

damn they ain't lying, it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people.