and they called it hy-brasail

just invented something at dinner called soundboard storytime where i explain the plot of hamlet to my younger sister & her friend while our other sister punctuates every sentence with a choice sound bite from her phone

“hamlet STABS the man behind the curtain, thinking it’s claudio—- but it’s POLONIUS. [vine boom] [OOOO MA GAAAWWWD] that’s right, he just killed his girlfriend’s FATHER. [WAT DA HEEEELLLLLL] [BRUH.mp3]”

the art of youtube poop will survive after the singularity

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

*sees whatever the fandom is doing* there's a really good story happening on the actual show if you want to watch that instead

feeling like when frodo says he wants to go home and we're only 90 minutes into fellowship

Or you use a plastic/silicon spatula?? Or a silicon whisk?? go to literally any dollar store they have shitty plastic/silicon kitchen utensils you can scramble eggs with without scratching up your pans

I hate this site so much.

i love you im glad you exist im so happy you’re alive

Rb to tell prev you love them ur glad they exist and you’re so happy they’re alive

If you're hypermobile, be especially gentle.

People are like “it’s so beautiful no clouds at all” it could use a little clouds if I had to be honest.

being turned on by proficiency makes going to concerts really embarrassing. yes you got up in front of me and sang a beautiful song for 2 hours and now i want you to hit. I’m no better than a songbird

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY