salad archive

today was the birth and death of bunion flextushy. 

bunions goals were clear:

be born

die at the end of the day

grow his beard out before he does so it tickles his bellybutton

and reach rata sum

on reaching rata sum bunion legally acquired the presidency, and threw himself off a cliff to die and be put in his office, the prison, at last.

his tattoos were stencil cut slices of american cheese, and at one point in his life he gained the power to sweat antifreeze. there was a tender, touching moment where he showered to rinse away his slime and then destroyed a wardens tower.

with bunion, the ex president of rata sum, being dead, there is now a vacuum of power

who will assume the presidency? there is no vice president.

in his absence corruption and republicanism run rampant and there will be a new mcdonalds

his arch nemesis takes the presidential throne

the hamburgler 

we will mourn him with a traditional ballad 

https://open.spotify.com/track/6I9VzXrHxO9rA9A5euc8Ak?si=r8BYFKfrQLeNFm9yIk9YVQ

#mypresident

Eche.

Mordremoth: Hey.

1. Shit! A hole! I guess we start underground.

2. That’s a lot of chak. Just keep running.

4. Crap, where am we? We’ll check the map when it’s safe.