Ah, Denver City Forester ...
... I pretty much love you.
I think we can pretty much agree that Denver has bigger problems than a tree branch that was starting to droop precariously close to my roof. But then again, it is a city-owned tree, and real damage to the house was starting to look imminent. I had heard of the city’s 311 help center. But honestly, the way I was recently traumatized by Denver’s awful, nasty, imperious traffic judge left me gun-shy about going anywhere near City Hall again - even on my computer. But of late, that drooping branch has been taunting me daily. And so I thought, “Well, what’s the worst thing that can happen? I get ignored? I can take that - my family ignores me every single day.” So I went to denvergov.org and filled out a simple form. STG, two days later I hear back from a guy named Steven Traylor, Operations Supervisor for the City Forester. Sure, there are tens of thousands of trees in Denver, but who knew we had a City Forester??? It’s true. Not only is Denver one of the only U.S. cities with a designated City Forester, the office has taken on the ambitious initiative of launching the “Mile High Million Tree Initiative” - planting 1 million trees by 2025. (They have planted 250,000 so far). I couldn’t love that goal more, because trees provide long-term environmental, economic and health benefits critical to vibrant and livable cities.
So anyway, I get this email from Steven D. Traylor, who tells me: “I was able to get by your property yesterday, and we will be by as early as tomorrow to prune back the offending branch from your roof.”
Are you serious? That’s all it took?
Sure enough, affable Steven and his crew of equally affable - some might say suspiciously affable for 7:30 in the morning - forestry-mates were at my house the very next morning, not only cutting down the offending branch but also shaving thorns from all up and down the thick tree trunk (Which, if you didn’t know, is a seriously weird development in the evolution of trees lining major Denver thoroughfares. Have you noticed? They all seem to be sprouting runaway crowns of lethal thorns. The kind that you don’t ever want to find in an eye, foot or scooter tire. But I digress.)
We haven’t posted in our “I Pretty Much Love You, Denver” blog lately. Not because we have fallen out of love with Denver. Far from it. Probably because there’s just too much to love in Denver to ever stop long enough to actually write about. But when the city responds with this much speed and friendliness and efficiency, attention must be paid.
What’s most odd about our story is how hard it was for us to track down the actual object of our affection - the City Forester. Who is this guy? You won’t find a name on the city’s web site. I was beginning to think he doesn’t actually exist, which would have been ironic, given how efficient his department is. Or maybe the City Forester is really the aforementioned Stephen D. Traylor, who goes around like a masked superhero doing all of the actual work - while no one knows he’s the boss-man, too.
But after much Rather-like sleuthing, I solved the mystery. Rob Davis - if that is his real name - is our City Forester, and therefore the target of “I Pretty Much Love You Denver’s” effusive affection for today. Rob clearly has gathered together a crew of happy, friendly, efficient tree-huggers. Which is perfect given that we here at I Pretty Much Love You, you know ... love to hug.










