Crossing the board

It’s hard to say how much of this was a lie, you know? Maybe you don’t. 

It was a lot of fun! I’m actually so happy!

I only wish the character I was playing was the real me.

It was so much fun! 

I had never been around people before! That was the truth.

Mother had molded me to become something like this, you know?

Molded me to distrust people, to be absolutely disgusted with humans.

But I couldn’t help but fall in love with them, if that makes sense.

Stories of dramatic interactions, heroic feats, everlasting true love, and even the chilling horrors.

I couldn’t help but fall in love with that.

The idea of a story of my own.

A call to adventure was all I needed.

Although, when I started playing my role as the overseer of the machine, I couldn’t bring myself to really interact with people still.

Working behind commands only, waving a hand to get things done.

I’m so thankful to have so many loyal pawns. Less thankful for the ones who tried to take me down.

Ah, and you were truly something else.

You gave me a new call to adventure.

Seojun Tsoi.

You called me to play with you! 

I was honestly so excited.

I couldn’t wait to say yes!

You were so cool.. so beautiful.. so brave...

You were the perfect protagonist.

I was more than happy to play a background character or even the villain in your story.

I chose my character.

Someone sweet! And vulnerable! Someone that needed protection.

I wanted you to be the one to protect me.

But what’s this?

What’s this?

What’s this??

This boy comforted that character so genuinely.

He was so adamant to protect me, defend me, love me.

It almost drove me crazy.

Takuma Mitsukuri

What are you doing? Why are you loving me?

I guess I don’t mind..

It’s...

It’s just like in those stories.

Suddenly I had a new story, in which I played the heroine.

A romantic story. A tragic story.

Ahaha.

I drowned myself in that character. 

That sweet, vulnerable character. 

Babump, babump, babump.

I’ve never felt like this before!

Wow! How exciting! Thrilling even!!

I added drama! Suspense! Betrayal! 

What a wonderful role! What a wonderful story! So much fun!

Oh Takuma.

I really loved seeing all of you like that.

When you were in pain, I was too!

It felt amazing.. pain for someone else.. one million times more potent than all that I’ve felt before.

It felt so real.

I didn’t know how big the difference between me and my character was anymore!

I loved for you, I cared for you!

Or, at the very least my character did. I’m not too sure about myself, still.

Was my love for you a lie? Maybe. 

Sorry, but that’s the only answer I can give. 

If only I really was that 'Chiyo Oshiro’ that you knew.

That sweet girl, who didn’t send hundreds to their death nor was the cause of your despair.

Aha! Oops! Sorry! My bad!

Whoopsie!

It was all a sacrifice for a greater good!

But I’m dead now.

Sorry about that..

But maybe that was a sacrifice for a greater good too.

I don’t regret anything, by the way.

I did what I had to do.

Even if it was wrong, it saved the world.

Even if you “change” humanity, it was because of me that you got that far.

And if or when Earth falls again, I guess I can only say “I told you so!”

You’re all following a false hope, after all.

But I suppose that’s okay.

Because I’m dead now!

It’s not my problem.

I’m sorry Takuma.

Or at least.. that ‘Chiyo Oshiro’ is sorry.

Although, I’m starting to wonder who’s who.

Since my last entry, everyone had been given ‘Forbidden Actions’ and collars that made it more than clear that they truly are forbidden. Ah.. Still, the sight of Izaya’s frame instantly become limp.. Ah, it haunts me so. The blood splattering, the immediacy.. it was just so jarring. 

However, things quickly became more tense when we were invited to another social event. 

“Two Lies and a Truth.” I hadn’t really heard of the game before, but it had definitely been altered for our pain. The rules are are that you must tell two lies and a truth about yourself and if the next person is able to correctly guess what is the truth, then you must attach a clothespin onto your skin. It was so painful.. but not as painful as the revelations made.

Ah.. My secret came out.. I really like Seojun.. I really really like him.. but.. I never expected for those feelings to be exposed, especially after I trusted Runa to keep them close to her heart. It was Akomi that exposed me, but it seemed like it was foolish to have trusted Runa in the first place.

Akomi and Torimi had released footage of Runa conversing with Petra, planning to tear relationships apart. I.. couldn’t believe it, but Runa had never been someone to be worthy of trust. All of her stories... they were real events that she had instigated. Real heartbreaks and dramas that she guided to make a proper plot for a story. Ah, my heart is breaking.. I.. trusted her so much.. but my proof lies with my secret.. She had told Takuma..

How can I ever trust her again? Mother.. maybe you were right. Ah, but Diary, I can’t help but wear my heart on my sleeve. I want to trust her again- and continue to trust everyone... you understand, right?

After the game ended, all of us who participated got our Forbidden Actions changed, and the victor, Seojun, got his collar taken off. The new forbidden actions are: I cannot shed a tear; Dmitri cannot leave FF; Josefina cannot make eye contact with other shipmates; Kai must stay within a room for more than an three hours before leaving; Leonhard cannot leave B1; Runa must end all her sentences with 'ohoho'; Takuma must always be in the same room as Seojun.

Everything had suddenly become so complicated, but thankfully my action had changed enough so I could finally talk to Takuma again.. b, but.. Seojun was also always with him.. 

Ah, despite everything, it was so amicable. I feel so loved.. Takuma loves me so much.. I will put aside my feelings. He wants me to be all his.. and.. ah, it’s so embarrassing, but I don’t think I would mind having him all to myself. Still... It’s difficult to ignore these feelings for Seojun. I will just.. have to trust time to take care of them.

Things were stagnant for a while before the inevitable happened.

Tezuka Saki, our volatile and endlessly excitable Super High School Level Sailor, had been found dead not three days after the event, floating within a large cylindrical tank in the lab. Her body aloft in the water, surrounded by her blood and hauntingly looking down at all of us. 

Time seemed to stand still for the longest time before we found ourselves on the trial grounds yet again, only barely ready to accept her death. This time we found ourselves flying above a winter wonderland, one that was seemingly trying to pry its way through the crystallized icy windows.

Surprisingly, I feel as if I was able to contribute to this trial... using the evidence that I had only gained through Takuma. Everything was so confusing, but it seemed like it was finally coming together.. it was finally coming together when Kai Schmutz the young and eerie Ultimate Gravedigger informed us of his fragmented memory after trying his hand at the puzzle in the Power Room.

It was an accident.. he didn’t mean to do this.. manslaughter, with consequences beyond belief.

Saki’s Forbidden Action was that she couldn’t come in contact with water. Along with that, she had also suffered from the loss of Izaya, our Ultimate Firework Maker. Saki resorted to indulging in wine from the win cellar... I.. I personally don’t exactly condone something like this.

In her drunken stupor, she decided to look for food within the large walk-in freezer in the storage room. This freezer had a door that you could only open from the outside with a button, and unfortunately.. At that point there was a power outage and Saki was stuck inside. 

Before the power outage, Kai had gone into the Power Room in hopes of solving the puzzle, but something was off, and he electrocuted himself, shooting him back with a jolt of electricity, resulting in a power outage.. and electrical burns and a wound on the back of his head. 

What happened next is still confusing to all of us.. Someone had come in after the blackout, after the passing of Saki.. and tampered with everything. They moved her body from the freezer to the Laboratory and used a knife from the kitchen to detach Saki’s Forbidden Action Collar and stabbed her neck to make it seem like she had died from it. That person also dumped her body into the tank, and continued to lay red herrings around. 

Kai’s involvement with the confusion of Saki’s death was minimal.. and yet.. he is the one who received the ultimate punishment. 

He was.. so content.. with his fate. He walked towards his punishment with little hesitation.. and I could feel my heart beat faster than it ever had before.

Something.. Strange happened afterwards.

Being baffled seemed like the norm, but this interaction between our two captains have caught me off guard. Torimi confessed to be the one who had tampered with the evidence, and Akomi retaliated. But... Ah, I can’t make sense of this.. Maybe you can help me out, Diary. What does this mean? Akomi and Torimi.. is there a disturbance in power? Is it possible that.. one of them is a lesser evil..? 

I write to you now, Diary, simply because my thoughts cannot stop churning within my mind. What’s going to happen to us? Are we fated to continue playing this horrifying killing game until there is no one left? I’m shaking.. my fingers tremble as I write all of this out.. I.. I just want to let you know all this.. just.. just in case I happen to... run out of luck. 

Ah, thinking like this probably isn’t a good thing.. I’m... I’m going to go see Takuma.

There is so much to recount since my last entry. Such horrific events that I can only wish to forget one day. Diary, to an extent I feel as if I should apologize to you for not keeping you up to date. However, at the same time I wonder why I feel compelled to do so while you are simply a journal for my eyes and no one else’s. Still, I shall recount everything as I remember.. starting from the beginning, and continuing through what I’ve already recounted before.

It all started when nineteen of us awoke in a strange room. 

Each of us was more confused than the last and none of us knew a shred of information. There had been a puzzle in the room, solved only after a series of trial and error... our prize was an electric pad, displaying an incomplete map, labeling that room as the “anteroom.”

Soon enough we were introduced to the “Captains” of this luxury cruise ship which we happened to be on. But.. when I say captains.. they weren’t exactly what one might have in mind. Neither of them are human, both of them are plush robotic animals. One, Torimi, is an owl. She is half pink with white polkadots and half dark purple. She adorns a yellow bow and a cheerful attitude, saying “ohohoho” quite often. The other, Akomi, is an axolotl. He is half white and half orange, with floral decoration. He adorns a dark purple bow tie and a rude attitude. Both of these captains feature a red jagged glass eye on their darker half accompanied by a wicked smile. They both also appear to have white bellies with bellybuttons- despite their animal design. I only describe them so deeply because.. their image haunts me dearly...

They told us that we are trapped here, and to escape we must.. kill another.. and get away with murder. They called this a “Killing Game.”

Since my last entry, our only casualty had been Etheldred, the poor soul who had died cruelly at the hands of that.. that axolotl creature. I barely remember why that had happened, I can recall the image of her body bloodied and limp against the wall. She had defied those two robotic monsters after they cruelly killed an old woman. The old woman was Etheldred’s grandmother, and those two self proclaimed “Captains” of this ship simply killed the old woman as an example. Etheldred immediately darted to stop, or even get revenge from those two animals, only to be suddenly stabbed at the neck with a decorative fish. There... was so much blood. I could gag at the memory...

My god, I can’t handle continuing with this. It just.. too cruel.

After that, I had run away in a blind panic. Takuma, the blue haired guitarist, he comforted me. Little did I know, this wouldn’t be the only time he would do so, not by a long shot.

We were given time to explore the ship afterwards. The animals seemed to have planted puzzles to tease us with. Questions that lead to more questions... I feel as if we are all simply being toyed with.

While searching for a puzzle myself, I accidentally and foolishly cut myself in the armory and was rushed to the infirmary thanks to Dmitri. After arriving, Leon looked after me... and.. I was suddenly compelled to tell him my secret.

After a time they gave us what they called “a motive.” Each of us seemed to get a video of our loved ones being tortured and threatened with death unless we start killing each other. I was trembling, staring at the screen of my parents. However, it seemed like others had even more urgent worries.

Takuma had bolted out of the room, similarly to how I did so long ago. And that was the first time I had comforted him.

Suddenly, Ethan Townsworth, the dark looking criminal psychologist, was found stabbed and in comatose, resting in the infirmary. It was so immediate and quick, no one knew what happened! I can only be thankful that we had our Ultimate Surgeon Elizabeth Voz to aid him. At the sight of the blood I.. I think I hid into my room. I’m... so thankful for all my shipmates for cleaning up the scene. I.. I don’t think I could handle it.

Soon afterwards there seemed to be a strange argument between the two plush robots, Akomi and Torimi. The next day, Akomi was found on the kitchen floor with stuffing all around and a knife in his back. It was shocking! I didn’t know what to think.. I spent some time investigating with Takuma, finding incriminating evidence against him... It definitely made me feel anxious.

We held a sort of informal class trial for Akomi. Although, at the time, none of us knew what a formal class trial would be like. The trial was hectic nonetheless, accusations and evidence was thrown all about. Even I was accused by Minori Saeki, the volatile accessory maker! My head was spinning.. despite all my logic and knowledge, I feel like I’m just a deadweight in such tense settings like this.

The informal trial had so many heart pounding turns- but the most thrilling part was when Petra Sakai, the red haired jazz singer, revealed that Dmitri Cierzon had been the one to stab Ethan! Not only that, but it was also revealed that Ethan is also a well known serial killer known as The Butcher. It stunned the entire conversation, I simply remember that my mouth was agape. It turns out that Petra had been extremely fixated on Dmitri after learning his action against Ethan. I.. could only blindly guess as to why.

The trial eventually came to a close, with Torimi foolishly revealing herself as the killer and Akomi revealing himself as never having been truly hurt in the first place.

I’m not sure how much longer after that occurred, but Takeshi, a muscly video editor, had been able to hack into the Mimi pad that each of us had been given and found a peculiar video. I’m still unsure about the significance of it.. it’s mysterious for sure, but none of us seemed to be able to decipher a meaning. Additionally, Manobu, a white haired and confidence architect, found a small compartment that revealed the two plush animals, but truly plush this time- no robots inside. They had messages attached to them: “Hers, one to save the world.” “His, one to win the game.” What do they mean?

Strangely, the Torimi animal commanded us play a social game. “King’s Game” is what it was called. Although I had never played, it was terribly fun. Despite.. our losses and worries, we were having fun. The most notable things about this game is that Runa Knightly, a wonderfully nice writer, confessed her feelings for Seojun Tsoi, a professionally titled internet troll... My heart swelled. Another notable event was the growing relationship of Kai Schmutz, a young small and eery gravedigger and Cici, a dressage and self proclaimed protector of justice. They were... quite cute together.

Honestly, thinking about the mysteries and relationships that come from the time spent here on this ship is much more pleasant than thinking about the events that followed.

Soon after the King’s Game, I discovered Takeshi’s body limp and lifeless on the gym floor. Although the scene itself wasn’t difficult to see in of itself, it was the fact of implications. Takeshi had been murdered, which meant that we were living amongst a murderer. I had fainted soon after screeching at the sight of him. It’s.. embarrassing to an extent, but what kind of reaction am I expected to make?

I was comforted by my peers, Runa Knightly and Leonhard, a stylish dollmaker and confectionist. I am... happy to make connections like this, despite... everything.

There was a period of investigation, shipmates poking and prodding everything everywhere for evidence. And soon the investigation period was over, and we were going to have our first formal trial.

Entering the trial grounds, it was nothing like any of us could have expected. When the two “Captains” Torimi and Akomi had told us that we were on a ship, none of use had any inkling of an idea that we were on an airship. The trial grounds had glass walls and floors, making it more than clear that this is indeed the truth of our situation. Clouds glided beneath our feet and there was no denying it.

Ethan Townsworth was still incapacitated, and yet there was only just enough podiums for all of us on the trial grounds, save for two podiums, with a memorial stand for Etheldred and another for Takeshi. Looking at those images.. the bloody red marked X over their profiles. I got chills.

Unsurprisingly, I was not useful during the trial. Conversations and arguments dragged on for hours, it was almost difficult to follow. Eventually it lead to a proper suspect, Cici. None of us could believe it at first, but it became undeniable as she slipped up about having knowledge of a “Perfect Poison” that Dmitri supposedly had in his possession. It was jarring. Cici.. she had sworn to be our protector and a princess. Although I didn’t have a close connection with her, I could only imagine how the others had felt.. Kai...

The two captains announced a “punishment,” an execution...

I can’t think about it.. It.. it hurts too much...

We somehow learned that Cici had a twin sibling that they would die for. Her sibling was disowned by her money-minded parents and fought against them, fighting against animal cruelty. That was something Cici desperately wanted to do herself, but only her sibling had the strength to. After seeing her precious twin being tortured and held hostage as we all did, she grew a resolve to escape and save her... although, that wasn’t what pushed her to do what she did.

It turns out that Takeshi had a similar resolve, wishing to escape and rescue his long love and video partner. Takeshi took it upon himself to plan out a murder, but foolishly left the plans written on that cursed planning table in the armory. Cici had seen Takeshi’s plans to murder someone, and decided to protect everyone by taking him out herself.

She had stolen a “Perfect Poison” from Dmitri that was the prize for properly solving a puzzle in the infirmary. It was during the confusion of Ethan’s injury, I think.

Cici gave Takeshi the poison in the kitchen, deceiving him, claiming to be giving an energy drink. Takeshi has collapsed almost immediately, and Cici transported his body to the gym using one of the low rise carts from the gym’s closer. She continued to tamper with the scene, pouring water on the floor and laying weights upon him, trying to make it seem like he had tripped and hurt himself that way.

As horrible as this all was.. things would only get worse.

Writing all this is.. almost too trying, my heart can’t take it.. tears are brimming as i write but.. I- I can’t help but feel obligated. What if I become the next victim? I simply must continue, I don’t want to be forgotten..

The time mourning our losses was short lived. Or perhaps it only felt that way.. as time felt almost malleable, the only thing I knew and still now is that we need more time to mourn. The day after, new rooms were revealed to us, and they expected us to explore and discover puzzles. Or at least that’s what I assumed of them. Including the rooms revealed since the beginning, these were all the rooms available to us at the time: armory, laundry room, anteroom, infirmary, gift shop, gym, gym closet, kitchen, dining room, bunkers, library, theater, backstage, and control booth.

I.. happened upon something troubling in the control booth, and decided to hide and keep it to myself. Although, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone had seen me.

I happened upon Leon, and, hoping to.. feel safer, I requested him to be my knight. He seemed happy to take the offer, “protecting his queen.” Ahaha, I was so honored, I blushed. Although, I am no queen, not yet at least.

Eventually, our two sadistic captains called us together for another social event, but this one is much less enjoyable than the last. This game is titled “Secrets and Sins,” and it consisted of nothing but revealing undesirable secrets, drawn from a hat of all of our secrets. At this point, Ethan Townsworth had awoken and participated in this game as well.

These secrets.. they’re so troubling.. and having my own secret revealed had thrown me into hysteria. I’m unsure if I should recount these secrets since.. well.. they’re a little bit more than simply private. Although.. at the same time, this will be private as well, right. Whispering secrets to myself shouldn’t do any harm.

Here are a few of the secrets revealed: my own, in which my blood can be found on the black market; revelation that Dmitri’s true talent is not a pastry chef but actually a spy; Izaya had attempted suicide five times; Seojun has self harm scars; Takuma is a survivor of a car crash, and while one of his parents has passed the other is comatose.

Takuma he... never fails to comfort me when I need it. And.. his embrace is so comforting.. Despite everything my parents had warned me about, I want nothing more than to trust him with my life. I only hope I don’t regret these feelings.

The game ended, as all games do, and suddenly it seemed as if all of us had a closer understanding of each other. With secrets revealed, it seemed like we had actually grown closer, having little left to hide. Izaya and Raiden, a respectable Sumo wrestler seemed to have even become a couple. Although the game was horrible, I wonder if this was the captains’ goal. Or perhaps they had messed up..

Not long afterwards the axolotl and owl had gathered us together again. At first it seemed like a simple feast. They prepared the dinning room fantastically with a spread of every food imaginable. It was soon revealed to just be a lure for a new motive: another video of our loved ones.

This video consisted of our loved ones congratulating us on our graduation of Hope’s Peak. This stunned us, realizing that we had genuinely lost years of our memories and experiences. But that wasn’t all, the plush animals told us that we could recover our memories if we killed, and if we don’t, then the memories our loved ones have of us will be wiped just like ours had been.

I can barely remember anything from then anymore. After the feast had gone away, I ate something strange, and my thoughts became hazy and erratic. I was.. rude to Runa, and talked back to Petra. I.. I can’t even imagine myself doing anything like that.

I awoke the next day to Takuma informing me that two more bodies have been discovered: Ethan and Minori’s. I couldn’t believe that their lives had ended so quickly. Then he informed me that it was done with an explosion. I... panicked.

The something I had “happened upon” in the control booth had been a bomb and a trigger, a prize for solving a puzzle. The bomb was missing and the trigger was in my pocket. With Takuma there to see men in my panic, I begged him not to tell. He heartedly agreed, and I felt overwhelmingly relieved... and guilty. My logic and reasoning had told me that I was the killer, must have had done something horrible in my delusion after eating something strange.

I had to be the killer, that’s what my logic was telling me. Or, at least that’s what I thought.

Takuma tried to lead me outside of my room, hoping to allow me a chance to investigate before the trial. But...

I couldn’t shake that feeling.

The feeling that I was the killer and that I was going to die.

I held onto his hand and pulled him towards me.

As far as reasoning goes, I no longer understand my mind and heart and my actions.

I kissed him.

Lightly and desperately I gave him my fist and possibly last kiss as tears streamed down my eyes.

I pulled back after a moment and he.. he continued to pull me to investigate. I was almost heartbroken.. I was so unsure of everything but all I wanted was to do it again.

Ethan and Minori’s bodies were almost completely mangled. The blood and stench of burnt flesh seeped into the walls and stained my memories. I.. cowardly stayed as far away from the scene as i could. The investigation period ended too soon, and the trial had arrived before we knew it.

That time, entering the trial grounds was akin to entering our own collective horror story. It was storming beyond the glass walls and floors. Cracking and booming thunder accompanied flashing lightning. I’m not sure if anyone noticed me jump every time they startled me. Dark clouds only gave slight premonition to our bleak future.

As the trial continued, it seemed clear to me that I had to confess. They were going no where, bringing up disconnected points of evidence and recycling known information. It turns out that Takuma was unable to keep his promise and had brought suspicion onto me. I confessed immediately, grossly sobbing and apologizing, begging everyone to vote for me and survive another day.

But my reasoning was wrong. I couldn’t believe it, the logic that I had cultivated as a chess player was completely wrong, as they pointed out inconsistencies and evidence against my confession. As relieved as I was to be proven wrong, I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe.. that my logic was wrong.

The trial continued, and another slip from our killer revealed a new undeniable suspect. Petra Sakai, our hot blooded jazz singer slipped up. It was an unsuspected turn, especially as it seemed like no evidence pointed to her save for her own oral mistake.

She continued to fight, blaming myself as the killer, but with reasoning of everyone together against it seemed more than clear that it couldn’t have been me, and it had to be her.

This time, all of us unapologetically voted for her. And we were right.

Petra had indeed seen me escaping with the bomb that day. She left some food for me to naively eat, but I was drugged, leaving me feeling agitated and sedated. I fell into a deep sleep.

From there, Petra stole the bomb and trigger, and then she left a note for Ethan, luring him into the library. However, at the same time Minori had plotted to kill him as well, following and sneaking into the library from the control booth, locking the door behind them.

Ethan approached the bomb that Petra planted out of sight, and he died upon impact. Minori had entered the room, and the shrapnel and explosion of the bomb only grazed them. Seeing Minori at the scene, Petra had to get rid of them, and struggled against them, using Minori’s own knife against them.

Petra then continued with the murder, leaving a calling card of another killer and tampering with the evidence. In the end, she planted the trigger back in my pocket during my delirious slumber.

It turns out that Petra was not only the Ultimate Jazz Singer, but also the Ultimate Copycat Murderer. I... I had no idea that Hope’s Peak had accepted such people...

Petra had grown up with parents who were also serial killers, and I suppose that she simply followed in their footsteps. Her parents had embedded in her the idea that she must find her true love, and she will know that they are her true love because they will happily kill along side her.

Perhaps this is why she so closely latched onto Dmitri after learning he was the one who stabbed Ethan.

When Akomi and Torimi gave everyone the motive videos, Petra wondered who a particular person was. While the others she recognized, there was a face congratulating her that she had never seen before.

The two captains informed her that that person was her true soulmate, and they had met and fell in love during her lost memories at Hope’s Peak Academy. This is what drove her to take the lives of our classmates- to reunite with her soulmate. “This was all for love!” She screamed.

That scream still echoed in all of our minds as we watched her “punishment”... her execution.

I wanted to hurl. Even she didn’t deserve such a cruel fate.

At the end of the trial, I couldn’t help but feel betrayed by all of those I felt close to. Takuma was unable to keep his word, and Leon had brought it out of him, effectively putting me in the spotlight for mains suspect. I felt guilty for my rudeness towards Runa- and a gross pang of jealousy with her and Seojun’s growing relationship.

Once again, new rooms opened up for us to explore. It seemed almost as if this were nothing more than a process at that point. We now had a lounge, a fortune teller’s room, a ballroom, and a chapel along with everything else.

I eventually caved into my feelings, realizing my immaturity and apologized to everyone I felt the need to. I am young, and my logic is flawed, so I should trust in my peers to help us find the truth. That was the resolve I came to. I confronted Leon, apologized for my actions of hiding evidence, and reinstated him as my loyal knight. I apologized to Runa as well, although I.. didn’t bring up my feelings about her and Seojun... And- I apologized to Takuma.

We happened to come across each other in the lounge, and I had originally wanted to immaturely remain stubborn. Ah, I- It’s difficult to think about, simply because of how childish and embarrassing I acted.

I walked up to him and declared that I didn’t forgive him yet (while secretly I already did) and he immediately bombarded me with promises and make ups- and I turned away.

And only when I looked back did I realize that he... he...

..

Ah, I suppose it’s not my story to tell, but I.. grew a sort of resolve afterwards. We had ended up in his bunker and became much closer. I’m... so... embarrassingly fond of him... fond of his touch... his lips.. ah, simply the way he holds me makes em feel a sort of bliss I’ve never felt before... Takuma... This feeling is.. so true....

How do I describe the next few events? The bizarre actions of our “Captains” never fail to confuse me as every one of us woke up one day to find a wedding invitation at our bunker door. Although it didn’t say who the betrothed was, it claimed to be a wedding for Akomi and “his beloved,” and that proper formal clothing was prepared for us in our closets.

Arriving at the Chapel, it was clear that this was all the doing of our very own Ultimate Wedding Planner Josefina, as every corner of the already beautiful rococo decor has been bonafide with florals and wedding decorations. I was worried at first.. I didn’t see Takuma anywhere! And.. seeing Runa and Seojun appreciate each other’s dapper and stunning formal clothes.. well, I can’t say i wasn’t envious.

After everyone was settled, the organs started playing, and we waited for Akomi’s beloved to be revealed beyond the door. I was still upset at Takuma’s absence, but was immediately stunned by what happened next.

Takuma, adorned in a white dress, stood there... seemingly just as stunned as we were. How was I- how was any of us supposed to respond to this situation? Organ music still playing, Takuma quickly questioned and claimed to have been drugged asleep until right then at that moment. I barely recall, but I’m sure people were laughing at the time.

Takuma walked the aisle unglamorously and approached Akomi, quickly requesting a divorce before being wed. Interestingly- and much to my relief- Akomi agreed to the arraignment and the marriage was called off.

Akomi and Torimi quickly ushered all of us into the ballroom for some post-wedding/divorce ceremony. I’m still unsure of the processes of a traditional wedding or divorce, but we had a moment to dance and treat ourselves to a massive white cake.

And.. when I say massive that is no exaggeration.. the base of the cake seemed to be akin to the base of a grand piano, and the height nearly reached the ceiling, forcing me to wonder how they could have possibly brought it into the room. Still, I treated myself to a portion of it.. Leonhard had... treated himself to a little bit more than a portion.

During our time dancing, Runa and Seojun shared a flashy and scenic kiss. Ah.. even writing this now boils some sort of feeling inside of me. Turning away from the scene... I... asked Takuma to kiss me as well, and he complied.

After some time, the captains brought to us another social game. “The Newlywed Game,” it was called, and the questions varied greatly. Some questions related to our playing partner, some not, some even.. asked us personal questions... and even more.. ah, I’m not sure how to describe them clearly. I suppose.. an example is needed. One of the questions I recall was “What would you do if you were charged at with a knife?”

That event had finally ended after what seemed like too long. Leonhard had treated himself to too much cake and.. seemed a little more than ill. After we finished the game a number of people rushed him to the infirmary. We were left wondering why the two animals had put us through all that, but questions like that were only as pointless as everything else that’s happened to us.

A day passed, and it seemed like we found the answer- or at least the answer to why the wedding was held. Those of us who had eaten the cake were given some sort of antidote or immunity to some strange invisible gas the captains had released all over the ship. They caused hallucinations, paranoia, and it became clear that this was Akomi and Torimi’s new motive.

Some time passed, those of us who were affected and were a harm to ourselves were staying in the infirmary. And as soon as we thought they were safe enough to return to their bunkers for the night, another murder happened.

Manobu, the confident self-loving architect and Raiden, the overwhelmingly nice sumo wrestler. Th... their deaths.. they were nothing less of horrific. Entering the chapel after hearing the commotion, I saw Manobu’s body strung up by ropes on the podium, looking as if he were staring us down like some sort of deity. Raiden’s body.. was... gruesome, horrible to even lay eyes on. Izaya was there long before I even peeked into the ballroom. Cradling his head, Izaya was more than heartbroken, more than mourning. It’s.. it’s too cruel.. I feel as if I could.. tears almost overflowing myself as I write this. Raiden’s body was defiled with self harm markings, surrounded by a pool of blood and incriminating objects around him.

I hate this.. I.. I hate having to live this way.. to experience all this... The end of the investigation period couldn’t come soon enough.

Once again, I was helpless during the trial. But this time I’m unsure if it was because of the whirring and frightening field of green tornadoes beyond the glass or because of my own shortcomings.

It seemed almost as if we were never going to find the true killer, until Elizabeth slipped and revealed damning evidence against her. Elizabeth Vos.. our surgeon.. who.. who had sworn under a Hippocratic Oath to save lives.. was revealed to have plotted to kill all of us..

She failed to have any cake during the wedding reception, and was victim to the same hallucinations and hysteria as her patients. The biggest difference is that her hallucinations were of her murderous parents, telling her to escape and become a true surgeon or else her life had been for naught. It drove her mad. And this madness told her that she needed to kill everyone in order to escape- after all, if you kill everyone, there is no one to discover your fault.

Elizabeth confronted Manobu first, who was also under the hallucinations without that cake. She told him that there was someone plotting to kill him, and together they planned to investigate everyone at different times. She had Manobu write and deliver notes to everyone, to lure them out at different times, but only a few people had actually received the letters, being so late at night.

Before the next day, Elizabeth and Manobu met up again one last time, and she offered him tea with sedatives inside. It was then that Manobu realized he was being poisoned, and requested a final wish. He wanted to be discovered by everyone in the chapel, with his body looking down upon them. Strangely, Elizabeth complied. As she left to the armory to retrieve rope, Manobu used the last of his strength to take himself to the Chapel. Elizabeth eventually came, strapping him to his wishes, and performed a lethal injection to put him to rest.

Next, she happened to come across Raiden, and then did the same. Sedatives within a cup of tea, and then lethal injection. As soon as she did so however, Akomi and Torimi came in to remind her that killing more than two people at a time was against the rules, and she would be executed if she were to continue with her plan.

She resolved that she would have to cover up her tracks if she wanted to escape like her delusions wanted her to.

She first slit Raiden’s arms to make it seem as if it was a suicide. She went back to Manobu, and roughly strangled his neck with some spare rope, tearing his skin off of his neck. She left the rope and a knife from the kitchen at Raiden’s side, to frame him for Manobu’s death. She even went as far as to rub the rope against Raiden’s palms, tearing the skin there as well.

She scrambled to hide evidence, retrieving the unsent letters and planting them in Runa’s cloths in the laundry room. Ineffectively framing her for the murders.

How could all of this happen? My head is honestly still spinning. Elizabeth was a doctor, she cared for all of us. It’s all those two monster’s faults. Akomi and Torimi. Our captains. This is all because of that hallucinating gas.

It seemed like Elizabeth came to at the very end, begging and apologizing for her actions.

It’s... so hard to bare.

She was dragged off, as they all were, to another horrific execution. “Punishment..” This entire Killing Game is a punishment.

Many of us were devastated by this latest murder. To me.. it almost feels as if my heart has stopped beating. Surely it is, I’m still alive after all. But it doesn’t feel quite right. Fear flows through my every vein as I’m now completely alone in my bunker.

Of course, even now the horror doesn’t end.

New rooms were revealed to us, and none of us even seem to have the energy to be excited for it. There is now a power room, a lab, a storage room, and an observatory.

Just the other day, we were called together once again by the captains of the ship, dragging us to the observatory to reveal a new motive.

Each of us had been fashioned a sort of mechanical collar, and orally given a forbidden action. The forbidden actions are thusly: I cannot interact with a male until there is a murder. Takuma Mitsukuri must speak like Akomi until there is a murder. Izaya Fanróng cannot speak until there is a murder. Kai Schmutz must walk backwards everywhere until there is a murder. Saki Tazuka cannot touch water until there is a murder. Seojun Tsoi may not sleep until there is a murder. Josefina De Belasco must speak in rhyme until there is a murder. Runa Knightly cannot lie until there is a murder. This includes lies by omission as well as the refusal to answer a question. She must answer everything you are asked with complete honesty. Leonhard Vogel cannot leave F1 until there is a murder. Dmitri Cierzon cannot leave F2 until there is a murder.

These actions seem.. asinine, and unfair. Runa must simply not lie, while Saki, our excitable Sailor, cannot touch water? Even I seem to have been let off easy.

And it seems like these actions are complete unforgiving as...

Ah.. it’s.. so difficult... to recount.

Izaya, after simply reacting to pain, had been immediately punished for going against their forbidden action of not talking.

It seemed as if the collar had stabbed them from the inside, spewing blood so immediately and dramatically.

It was.. so sudden.. too sudden.. ah, my heart can’t take it....

I immediately locked myself into my bunker, and for once I’m thankful for my loneliness.

I have lots of time to myself. So.. I suppose that is why I decided to recount all of this.. or.. or at least one of the reasons.

I’m heartbroken, honestly. Without a murder, I cannot interact with my Knight nor my Love. Ah.. calling him my love is.. actually quite embarrassing, even on silent paper like this. Still, a part of me is.. reluctant to wish it.. but I hope something bad will happen.. such that I can be with them again.

Also, it’s perhaps bad to say as well, but I’m glad that Leonhard and Dmitri are split apart. Leonhard is.. my loyal knight, and I wish for nothing bad to happen to him. But he has grown a little more than fond of Dmitri lately and... it worries me. Dmitri is.. is someone who had the willpower to stab our classmate. I.. I simply don’t want Leonhard to be hurt.

Diary, I hope this isn’t too much to unpack. I.. can only hope things will be better soon, but with the current circumstances.. I can only feel dread... and fear... what’s going to happen to us?

I must stay hopeful.. or.. at least try to.

     Not a moment passes without my mind recalling the image of that girl, speared through the neck with a fish by an axolotl plush robot. I feel as if I could experience it myself. The blood. The smell. The horror. If it were only in a movie instead of this real life. My heart beats faster thinking about it, I only wish I could make it stop

     Mother had always told me to be weary of people and to never trust them. But this is my first experience, exposed to other people without her or Father’s strings. They seem so nice, it’s almost scary. I’m afraid to trust them. But I really really want to trust them. What else am I supposed to do? The stories I know.. they always say trust your friends... so I suppose I should start making some friends?

     This is such an embarrassing confession.. But I think I’m starting to develop feelings for some of my classmates. It’s difficult to understand, but knowing what I know from movies and books, this feeling is undeniable, right? My heart beats faster.. my face feels warm.. It can’t be any other feeling, right??

My classmates...

Cici is unrelentingly positive. She is almost makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. She calls me “The Tactician.” She doesn’t know about my father, so it’s kind of funny that she calls me that.

Dmitri seemed so nice at first, but after the revelation that he was the one who stabbed Ethan, I’m too afraid to interact with him. I don’t know his reasons, but still- having the willpower to hurt someone like that.. It scares me.  Although.. He did help me when I had stupidly caught that blade with my hand. He mentioned that maybe there is more than one serial killer on this ship.. do I trust him? I’m so scared.

Elizabeth is nice enough. She likes romance movies and birds. I don’t know much about her. We have been assigned to share a room along with Minori, but I haven’t really talked to either of them much at all. Especially after the incident with Ethan, I haven’t seen her in the bunker for a long time.

Ethan.. he was recently revealed to be a serial killer. He is currently incapacitated, which I’m grateful for but.. but when will he wake up? With him present in this ‘Killing Game’ I definitely don’t feel safe.

Etheldred.. Please rest in peace.. This is too cruel..

Izaya is another really nice classmate. They seem even more afraid than I am. 

Josefina... I feel like I see her character archetype in stories a lot. The loving and caring friend. I’d love to be closer with her! And.. also the kiss we shared felt very.. what’s the word? - Homely?

Kai seemed rather strange at first. Smelling weird and appearing to care only for what happens after death. But I’m glad to know him a tad better now. He deeply cares about respecting the dead and making sure they have the proper send off. But I am worried.. he seems to believe that he is dead as well.

Leonhard..♡ Oh.. how do I describe this feeling? He’s so caring, to everyone and including me. He gifted me a number of things that I will treasure for time to come, and even spent some time playing chess with me! I want to open my heart to him.. But things like this should come slowly, right? Despite Mother’s warnings, I can’t help but trust him. I can’t help but want to trust him more.. He holds a secret of mine. I wonder if he will have more of me soon..?

Manobu is not unlike many people that Mother and Father have directed me to talk to before. Similar to that one opponent I had.. I forget their name. Some grandmaster, I believe. He’s so commanding, it’s difficult to talk to him. Yet, there’s something about him that restricts me from thinking poorly about him. He’s trying to ‘coach’ me to stop stuttering.. to build my confidence, or something of that nature. It’s difficult to understand why, but I’m glad that he is on this ship with us.

Minori...I haven’t seen Minori much at all.. but they scare me. During that.. that mock trial with trying to find out Akomi’s killer, Minori suspected me. I can’t help but.. feel some sort of grudge against them. I know they were only using the logic and reasoning provided at the time, but still. I don’t know how to feel about them. But I should clear my heart of these feelings soon... we.. we do share a bunker together after all.

Petra is absolutely terrifying. I feel like every move I make around or to her is bound to come back to me negatively and ten fold. She makes me feel weak like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Ah.. if only my parents were here to tell me what to say...

Raiden seems so nice. I would like to spend more time with him.. especially after that kiss.. I wonder if my heart will beat faster when I see him again? ♡ 

Runa. I want to be much closer friends with her. I told her the story of my maid- not the full story, not yet. But I want to trust her. She reminds me of a protagonist in a story.. I want her to take me in.. I can’t explain this feeling, but I feel more at least around her. Despite all this chaos.. despite the killing game..

Soejun.. ♡ He’s so kind! He’s so nice to me.. My heart starts racing as soon as I see him. He rebraided my hair and his hands.. they felt so nice.. He pats my head sometimes too and.. I don’t know.. I want to spend more time with him, that’s all my heart is saying. 

Takeshi, I haven’t seen much of him since the trial, or even since the beginning in that anteroom. Although, he seems like he’s having a hard time, with what Akomi and Torimi had revealed to us in the MiMi pads. I have still yet to look at my own. 

Takuma..  ♡ I.. I don’t know how to read him. He seems to be looking out for me though. I don’t want to trust him, especially with Mother’s words looming over me, but I.. I think I like him..? His comments are strange but he always seems to be trying to cheer me up. Immediately after Etheldred died, he watched over me.. or at least that’s what my memory told me. His voice was sweet ♡. And after that event.. After Akomi and Torimi showed us our loved ones, I had comforted him. I can’t tell how I feel, but these kinds of actions.. it’s the type you’d see in a romantic story, wouldn’t it? I’m ashamed to feel this way, especially in such a terrifying scenario, a terrifying ‘Killing Game.’ But still ♡ 

Saki, she seems so volatile. Petra told me she was the cause of her dislocated shoulder. I haven’t talked to her much, but I.. I feel like I should be weary around someone like her.

     Things have been hectic. When will my parents come save us? They’re so powerful, why haven’t I heard from any of them? Mother? Father? What’s happened?

   Some classmates had uncovered clues around the room that ended up revealing the insides of a safe! There was a single tablet inside that displayed what seemed like a single room in a large blackened map, labeling the room that we were in the anteroom. This is so strange, and not to mention outside of what I can do. 

   There was a conflict between a number of the captives, in particular involving those with bizarre hair colors. I hate to say it, but it’s absolutely thrilling to be in this situation. My heart is pounding like crazy, but the genuine fear of harm seems to be looming over me. I can’t quite tell if I’m excited or afraid.

    I have introduced myself to some of the classmates, and thankfully most of them seem pleasant enough...