Thursday: Unfiltered with Renee Young

“First and foremost, thank you for sitting with me and being my first guest on the podcast. How are you?”

Renee said.

“I’m alright Renee. Dead tired from all the signings this week piled on top of my training schedule. How are you?”

Kennedy responded as she crossed her legs under the table with a smile.

“I’m great, you all go through so much. You need to take some relax time. I try to do that but I’m the type of person who needs to be moving and doing things. Are you like that too?”

Renee sat back getting more relaxed.

“I could definitely use more relaxation in my life, but ever since Austin and I started dating he makes sure I actually take the time to relax, which is nice.”

Kennedy said. Renee sat forward as she crossed her legs over switching her sitting position as she listened.

“Aw, I’ve seen you two together. Such an adorable couple. How long have you both been dating and how did you meet? Did you both start dating before or after working together on screen?”

“Thank you. I like to think we’re cute together. We’ve been official for just over two months now. He asked me when they sent us on that couple’s trip. But we’ve been talking for much longer. We were talking before we worked together on screen, but I think being together on screen brought us even closer.”

Kennedy smiled.

“That’s amazing, so I want to just get to know every individual who is on this podcast and I wanted to know more about you, how you were brought up as a child and what your life was like before coming into AEW. Who was Amber May, well I guess who is Kennedy Carmichael.”

Renee laughed.

“Kennedy and Amber are definitely very different people.”

Kennedy said, as she continued speaking.

“Well I didn’t really have a stable childhood since I spent most of it in foster care. My biological parents abandoned me when I was born, I’ve never met them. Bouncing around to different houses was very stressful, and it made it very hard for me to trust people. I spent most of my life thinking I’d never have a real family. But that changed when I was adopted at 17, which is very abnormal. Most people don’t want to adopt teenagers, especially ones who are about to age out of the system. But the Carmichael’s took me in and treated me like I was their own. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.”

“Wow, I cant imagine being through that as a child. It must have been so hard. You were abandoned? Do you know like what happened? Have you were been told, like did they just drop you off somewhere? Do you know any info about how all that happening?”

Renee said.

“I don’t know anything about my birth parents. They left me on the steps of the fire department in West Palm Beach. No one saw them and it was before security cameras. It used to really get under my skin, but I’ve accepted it and I don’t really want to know who they are. I’m afraid that if I do it will bring up a lot of things I don’t want to have to deal with.”

Kennedy said.

“Wow, yeah I can understand that. So you really answered my question about ever wanting to meet them. Were you close to anyone as a child before getting adopted by your now parents?”

“Not really. I kept to myself in most of my foster homes. It’s why I don’t have a whole lot of friends even to this day. I don’t know how to make friends”

“Are you close to your family now? Was it hard to adjust and gain that trust with them?”

Renee asked as she took a sip of her water next to her.

“We are very close. It took me a while to get comfortable because I just expected to be passed off again but they’ve been really understanding and helpful.”

“How was school for you?”

“It was hard for a while. Changing schools every year or so I always seemed to be behind, but I managed to figure it out by high school. Well enough to get a full ride to the University of Miami.”

“Were you always the new girl? Were you bullied at all?”

“Pretty much. It came with it’s fair share of bullying but I didn’t have it as bad as some people, that’s for sure.”

“In college, you got your bachelors in theater and is it dancing?”

Renee asked trying to remember what she had saw in her research on Kennedy.

“Yeah I thought I’d be an actress but alas wrestling was my true calling.”

“Let me tell you, you have an amazing career ahead of you. I watch your matches and I love them! You have a natural talent I guess for it. What got you into wrestling. Were you always a fan?”

Renee smiled.

“I appreciate that, Renee. I actually had never watched wrestling before I started training. A lot of people didn’t like that when I was training. But I found it as an outlet for my grief after losing my fiancé.”

Kennedy bit down on her lip as she looked down at her hands.

“I can relate to that. I wasn’t the biggest fan of wrestling coming in. My dad was a promoter and I got to meet the superstars and when I got into journalism, I got offered this opportunity. I can definitely understand what you mean there. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your fiancé, that must have been such a hard time. If you don’t mind me asking how did wrestling become a way of grief for you when he passed?”

“I was just able to get all my anger out in the ring, and do it safely. It also made me feel things again when I had gone numb. The pain made me remember that I was still alive and that he wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life moping.”

Renee nodded her head.

Are you comfortable with talking about your fiancé? If not, we don’t have to go there

Renee said with caution.

“I am. Though I may cry. Just a fair warning”

“Aw, no need to apologizing if you do cry. So tell me how you met?”

Kennedy nodded as she continued to look down as she spoke

“I was actually dating his best friend at the time. He and I got close as just friends, and my boyfriend got incredibly jealous. In hindsight probably rightfully so, but at the time I thought I was ridiculous because I just liked having a best friend and I wasn’t looking for him to be anything else. He definitely caught me by surprise. Any time I’d have relationship issues, he was there to listen and try and help me, and one day I just decided that I wasn’t going to spend my life fighting with a man, which is what I was doing with his best friend, so I ended it. And then Tyler and I continued to get even closer until we realized we wanted to be together. He picked up on it long before me, but he was patient. Needless to say he and the other guy weren’t friends anymore.”

“As crazy as it sounds, sometimes things like that happen. Your best friend becomes something more and it takes you by surprise. I can definitely relate to that with you. Now, how long were you with the previous boyfriend, when did Tyler become your best friend as well?”

I only dated the guy before Tyler for 3 months. Tyler and I became friends almost as soon as the other guy and I started dating. He actually came on our first date with us. It was kind of weird. But once we became friends we were inseparable

That’s adorable, so you guys dated. You got engaged? What happened? He got sick?

Kennedy nodded, as she choked up a little.

“Yeah...stage four bone cancer. It wasn’t pretty.”

“And how long after did he pass?”

Kennedy had tears in her eyes.

“Six months. He got diagnosed two weeks after we got engaged and six months later he was gone. I tried to have our wedding before he passed, but he kept saying he wanted to wait until he was better and could stand at the end of the aisle and wait for me. Needless to say, he never got better.”

Renee reaches over with her hand on top of Kennedy’s with tears in her own eyes for the girl

“Honey, I’m so sorry. That had to of been so tough for you. I can just see in your eyes how dearly you loved him and how much he meant to you. I want you to know while it’s hard because he’s not with you, he is always, always with you! He’s in your heart and that’s where all the amazing memories you shared are. Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you.”

Kennedy started crying, trying to gather her thoughts. She paused and took a breath.

“I was so lucky to be able to experience the love we had for each other. I feel like a lot of people never experience it, and while I only experienced it for two years total, it’s something that completely changed me. And I’m so lucky to be with someone now who doesn’t expect me to just forget about Tyler. Austin is so understanding of the whole situation, and he’s just amazing.”

“And that’s what makes everything worth it. Considering everything you have been through and gone through. It will be hard for you to open up and you need people who are understanding of you and what you have endured in life. Austin being the way he is, it’s amazing to know how good he is to you. I see the chemistry with you and I just want you to know it’s okay, it’s okay to move on. I understand how hard it could be. I think someone who can relate to you in many ways is Kelly Kelly. While always being around some of the females backstage, I got to know her a little through Maryse. She had been through a similar situation. Also Brie Bella, losing her boyfriend in high school, Bear. I have spoken to her about losing him multiple times. So just don’t be afraid to talk to people because you can inspire people who have been through similar things and pain. You are liked and loved by many of the fans and I’m sure, this can help many with coping of a loss of a loved one.”

Both girls smiled, both with tears in their eyes.

“I appreciate that Renee. There are definitely days I need someone who understands exactly what I’ve been through. And it is my hope that my pain can help someone else get through theirs. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Kennedy took a sip of the water next to her.

“Many have been through the heart breaking but losing the people completely. Heart break, there’s chances to get back that person. But I can’t imagine losing them like that completely. I do encourage reaching out to one of those girls, because I’m sure they can relate, understand and help cope with that pain.”

Renee said as she then followed up with her next question.

“Do you ever think about what he’s thinking watching over you coming into the ring and how amazing your career is going? Does anything you had with him inspire you?”

Renee said.

“I like to think he’s proud. He always believed in me. Anything i said I wanted to do, he believed I could do. Plus he watched wrestling. Loved it actually. That’s why I turned to that to help me grieve, because it was something he loved. I’d like to think I’m his favorite female superstar, but he always has a thing for Lexi.”

Kennedy said as she laughed a bit.

Alexa Bliss? That’s funny. Have you ever told her or spoken to her about that? Do you know who his favorite male superstar was?

Renee said as she laughed also.

“I haven’t. I probably should. I bet she’d get a kick out of it. But he loved Fergal. He used to get so excited whenever they were on.”

“You should totally tell them and how cool do you think it would be if you were friends with them. I bet, he would look down and smile.”

Kennedy said as she smiled.

“What do you want to accomplish here, like what is next on your journey?”

“Honestly, I just want to make people happy. I want them to enjoy watching me do what I love. Sure, I’d love to be a champion at some point, but I don’t mind being someone who’s just in story lines that make people want to watch the show. I’d really like to change my character up a bit, but I’m not sure what I want to change to.”

“I’m definitely a fan, when I first thought about doing something like this. I was hoping you could be the first guest because your just such a delight to work with and you just have such a genuine personality. I would love to see you as champion one day, and I’m sure whatever you do character wise, you will be honestly amazing. Since you have an bachelors degree in acting. I’m sure it helps with character building.”

“I may be a delight to work with off screen, but Amber has been a bit mean to you in the past. But you’re really good at rolling with it. The acting does help. I’ve thought about taking the crazy to a new level and just acting like a specific fairy tale character. Just not sure how it would go over”

Kennedy said as she crossed her legs over the other.

I think working on screen with Dean while dating. I had to control myself from laughing. Rollins and Reigns, they all were close to me as well, so I had to control myself from laughing so much whenever they did things together as The Shield. After the cameras were off. I would laugh and laugh. Dean says the most ridiculous things sometimes, then you get Seth and Roman in there. I’m amazed by everyone and how they develop their characters. I’m just a journalist, and interviewer. You all are so talented. I have to wrap this up though, which I hate because I’m really enjoying myself but I have to ask. As a child, did you see your future turning out the way it did?

Renee said taking a sip of her water next to her.

“Honestly, no. I didn’t see myself making anything of myself. But I’m glad I was wrong.”

“I love that, that is what I think could inspire fans. Where can we find you on social media?”

“@kissingkennedymay on Twitter and Instagram. Amber May - AEW on Facebook.”

“Thank you so much for being my first guest, we have to get together sometime okay?”

Renee said as she smiled at Kennedy.

“You tell me when and I’m there”

So today, I figured for the introduction I start with myself to kind of give everyone who doesn’t know what this podcast is all about we can get more insight in what unfiltered will be about. My name is Renee Jane Paquette, I was born in Toronto Ontario. I was a child model, lived a pretty decent life growing up. My parents were divorced and it effected my brother and I, where I really only spoke to him and I grew a bond with only talking to him about things. To this day, we are still close and talk everyday. After high school, I applied to severals college and began training in improvisational comedy. At the age of 19, I relocated to Los Angeles, California to pursue a career as a comedic actress but later moved back to Toronto and auditioned for films, music videos, and commercials. Growing up, my father was a concert promoter and he’d get me into events. I attended a few wrestling events and Wrestlemania VI was one of them. I remember being backstage with people like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H, Chyna, and Trish Stratus as a kid, so it’s really funny to me that I ended up here. I went on a different path than wanting to become a WWE superstar. Through the years, I have hosted on many flat forms and hosted the podcast called Regular Girls with my best friend, Stacy McGunnigle since December 2016. So this isn’t my first podcast rodeo. I just never was able to promote it for everyone to watch until now.

I was married to Jonathan Good, who is better known as Dean Ambrose. We were together since 2013, we got married and had our fights and fair share of ups and downs. We broke off the marriage mutually and he had moved on with being engaged to someone else in the industry but that’s isn’t my story to tell. We did remain friends and were still in some contact. During our time apart, I tried dating apps and going out with friends, to meet someone. I been on a few dates and no one sparked my interest. One night, after talking to someone for a little over a month. I was bored at home and decided to let to guy come over, after dodging dates with him so many times. I figured why not give this a try, get to actually know someone right? Well, to my surprise this guy wanted to get to know me on a deeper level, fine no problem right? I met him on a night out with one of my girl friends at bar and we had a few drinks, danced, kissed on the dance floor, exchanged number. I didn’t think anything of it. Honestly, didn’t even think we would talk after that night. Well, this guy wanted to rush things when honestly I wasn’t ready. He didn’t understand that, he forced himself on me multiple times. He was sexual assaulting me for a good hour maybe. Only reason why I know it was an hour was because a movie was playing in the background and it was probably a half hour into that.

I never had anything like that happen to me, it was one of the scariest things too. I never was one to learn to fight or actually know how to defend myself. I never been put into that kind of situation. I never felt so out of control. I was biting, scratching, kicking, yelling, screaming, but for some odd reason it was turning this guy on. I wasn’t able to sleep that night, I cried myself to sleep and probably only got a two hours of sleep. Went to work the next morning as if nothing happened. I just put a smile on my face and didn’t tell many. I really only told a few of my closes, closes friends. It took me months to tell my family and other close friends. I moved from that location maybe like 3 months after because I was scared to live there because he knew where I lived and I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own home anymore. I woke up from a dead sleep nights trying to remember if I locked the door, or scared to get up and check. I wasn’t myself to be honest, I don’t encourage anyone to do what I did. I should of pressed charges, I should of spoke to someone professional for help from the start but I didn’t.

But we learn from our mistakes, I haven’t heard from him since blocking him from everything. I haven’t dated or been with anyone since that situation. As for everyone who has wondered or seen Jon and I. Jon will always have a special place in my heart and when I opened up about all that he truly was there for me. The night it happened I wanted to text him and talk to him but I didn’t. I didn’t think I could because I knew he was happy in a relationship. I took a step back, but now, right now, we are still amazing friends and he’s just always been there for me. Whoever said you can’t be friends with your ex is wrong. I do believe in second chances and Jon deserve more than that. Being able to work with him and others from WWE, who are here is amazing because most of them have become family.