pretty theft

🌟Saiłor Møon Earrings – $9.90

🥂 lots a panties haul 🥂

vans 💫 real iguana party shirt - 18.00$ pink cloud hoodie - 44.50$

altar’d state 🕊 pink floral sheer bralette - 24.95$ pink floral sheer parties - 10.95$

vs pink 🍓 panties - 10.50$ x6

Today I was at my towns local mall, shopping around in one of my personal favorite stores, E@rţhbøuňd. For the past couple times I’ve been meaning to nick this candle but things kept preventing me from doing it. Today I finally had my shot. I grabbed the only two candles they had left in stock and shoved them into my bag. I made sure I was in the best blind spot of the store where NO ONE, not even a mouse, could see me. I decided that in order to not look too sus I would continue walking around shopping. As I was making my way to the front of the store in an effort to leave, I noticed that the cops were standing there. They had cornered these two asian ladies by the rocks display. I was horrified and couldn’t think straight.

What if SA had seen me?

What if those women had seen me?

What if the cops were interrogating them to figure out if they saw me steal stuff?

At this moment I was so close to running out the door but I knew I wouldn’t be able to outrun them. One of the cops was a burly white guy who looked like he came straight from the police academy. He had the body of Lou Ferrigno and I got the feeling he could pick me up and snap me like a tooth pick if he wanted to. The other officer was a black guy that looked exactly like Usain Bolt but with a pedo-stache.

So against my best judgment, I trembled foward. I asked what as going on, and the white officer looked me straight in the eyes with the conviction of an executioner. His response would forever shake me. It went along the lines of this:

“Oh I was just telling them about my rock collection at home. It’s like x10 bigger than this one here. As part of my religion I believe that rocks have magical powers that can heal your or make you happier. I’m an Odinist. That’s when you believe in the Nordic gods like Odin and Thor and Freya (idk if I spelt that last one right). My personal God is Thor…”

The dude just kept going on, and on, and on and the entire time the other officer was standing there looking bored as hell by what his partner was saying.

A part of me wanted to laugh I was so relieved, another part of me still wanted to scream and run. I ended up just standing there, nodding vigioursly and enthusiastically. In the end I bought one of the rocks and left. When I got to the car I ended up laughing so hard that I nearly pissed myself. I still can’t believe I didn’t get in trouble.

TL;DR

Ugggghhhhhh don’t judge me I rly needed summer clothes okay!! I’m unbearably excited to wear them😖😖😖 ✨Urban Outfitters✨ • Tokyo floral top - £29.00 • Khaki hana top - £26.00 • White infinity embroidered top - £25.00 • Ivory tie shirt - £36.00 • Monica orange bardot dress - £52.00 • Monica patchwork bardot dress - £52.00 • Red spotted romper - £29.00 • Navy floral dress - £42.00 • Evelyn rose print dress - £42.00 ✨Topshop✨ • Black bralet - £12.00 ✨Forever 21✨ • Woven multicoloured dress - £17.00 • Pink and white floral top - £15.00 • Black and white dress - 19.00 • Daisy top - £10.00 ✨H&M✨ • Black dress - £12.99