President Soot

"..Hm." Wilbur hummed, adjusting his glasses as he stood up to be on level with Dream (still towering over him).

Wilbur shrugged. “Not really. I know you.”

"No. -And you can thank Ghostbur. Seems he had a quite bit of time on his hands."

"Why would I thank that sorry excuse of an echo of you? Even if he decorated... okay... he's pathetic."

Wilbur is a bit caught off gaurd. "I didn't know you hated him so much. Why?"

"He's weak and pathetic. Very gullible but only controllable to a point."

"..How lovely." Wilbur said under his breathe. He went over to pick up the book Dream had kicked from the floor, placing it back on one of the shelves.

"You like my personality?"

"Subtext."

“Am I wrong?” Wilbur grinned. “Tell me I’m wrong. Really.”

"I hate your personality."

"Why are you lying to me? Really, why? If you don't plan on talking to me again after this plan is over, what's stopping you."

"Stopping me from what?"

"Being honest."

"You're prying."

"Please?"

"..Is that it?"

"What more do you want?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest."

"It's safe here, right? No one else who hates me will find me and kill me again, correct?"

"I mean.. It's no fortress. But I don't think that will happen."

"You hate me, right?"

"..I'm not sure anymore."

"I didn't fucking chose to, now did I? And speak for yourself! Gods."

"I don't get attached!"

"Oh, pull your head out of your arse, yes you do."

"Name one thing I'm attached to."

'Tommy."

"He's not an attachment."

"I asked you not to lie."

"... I'm not attached to you."

"Then why haven't you left? Why didn't you leave me during limbo?"

"Here is safe, and your limbo was simply better."

"And sleeping on my shoulder was necessary. Following me around like a lost cat was simply survival, right?"

"Yep. Survival."

"..I don't know why I even bothered." Wilbur muttered, beginning to walk back to his chair. "If you're not going to be honest with me, have it your way. Forgive me for wanting a shred of decency with the man who's staying with me."

"Anne there's nothing more to it? At all?"

"I don't want to leave here after the plan happens."

"..You don't?"

"I just didn't think you enjoyed my company to any capacity." Wilbur shrugged.

"You're tolerable. I got used to it."

"Hm." Wilbur hummed. He walked over to the larger window in the kitchen, running taloned fingers over the edge of the counter. "I'm glad I'm not completely insufferable, in that case."

"Tommy is much more annoying than you, feathers."

"Well then, that's got to make me at least 'nice to be around'." Wilbur flashed a smile.

"..You're not too awful to be around either. When you're not.. you know, threatening me. Keep that up, I might even consider you nice."

"Really? Me? Nice?"

"I said maybe."

"Would you prefer I be nice?"

"I mean- yeah."

“I didn’t say that. But, nice is better.”

"I know. Such a tragedy. Will be so hard for you. But, trust me, I believe in you." Wilbur said sarcastically, not making any effort to move away from Dream.

"You're being weirdly patient with me."

“Might as well make the best of things, right?”

"You're being polite so I don't run off and make the plan harder to complete."

“A bit of that, sure. But if you’re planning to live with me after this we might as well start getting along.”

"Fair point, Feathers."

“I know, I’m very smart.” Wilbur said with sarcasm.

"I'm your favorite enemy."

“Eh, not so sure. Had a lot of those.” Wilbur half joked.

"You're letting me live here. Clearly, I'm your favorite."

“Debatable.”

“Didn’t mean it like that. It’s the word enemy. It’s- well, right now you’re doing a bad job at being my enemy. Doesn’t necessarily mean negative.”

"Oh, so instead of enemies, we are acquaintances, then?"

“I.. suppose you could say that.”

"You look better when you're not in full harpy mode."

“Oh, you didn’t like that then?”

"Well, typically, when you're big bird, you're pissed off at me."

“I mean, not necessarily. It’s a defense mechanism, sometimes it’s just a response but I can do it whenever.”

"Okay, bird boy."

“What, you want to see?” Wilbur flashed a smile.

“I can do it.”

"You don't have to unless you want to..."

"Yes or no."

"Fine, if you insist, show me that you can change on demand."

Wilbur chuckled. “Yeah, yeah.” Then returned to normal. “There.. that’s what you get. Your weekly subscription.”

"Only weekly?"

“You want more?”

“No, no- It’s a joke. You’re fine.”

"Okay, Bird Boy."

“You know Dream, for someone who claims to only tolerate me, you’re doing a lot of.. what’s the word? Flirting.”

"What do you call it, then?"

Dream impulsively kisses Wilbur's cheek.

Wilbur is caught off guard but doesn't move away. "Oh."

"What's the matter, William? Can't handle taunting?"

"Taunting?! You kissed me! How is that taunting?"

"To get a reaction out of you."

"Since when do you study psychology?"

"I don't. I've just been around you long enough to know what you do when you're trying to deflect."

"Seems like I just did."

"Flirting doesn't mean I like you. Kissing you doesn't mean I like you."

"Then what does mean you like me?"

"... I don't like you."

“Yeah, and what you did made that so clear.”

"There are fish that kiss to show dominance."

“Is that what you were doing, then? Showing dominance? Weird, much?”

"... was it okay?"

Wilbur sighs, rubbing his eyes. "What do you mean, 'was it okay'?"

"Well, if you hated it, then I hate you too!"

"You see how I never said that?"

"Did you like it or not?"

"I-" Wilbur shrugged, looking out the window. "I didn't hate it, okay?"

“Wh- yeah! Pretty damn sure.”

"..Hm." Wilbur hummed, adjusting his glasses as he stood up to be on level with Dream (still towering over him).

Wilbur shrugged. “Not really. I know you.”

"No. -And you can thank Ghostbur. Seems he had a quite bit of time on his hands."

"Why would I thank that sorry excuse of an echo of you? Even if he decorated... okay... he's pathetic."

Wilbur is a bit caught off gaurd. "I didn't know you hated him so much. Why?"

"He's weak and pathetic. Very gullible but only controllable to a point."

"..How lovely." Wilbur said under his breathe. He went over to pick up the book Dream had kicked from the floor, placing it back on one of the shelves.

"You like my personality?"

"Subtext."

“Am I wrong?” Wilbur grinned. “Tell me I’m wrong. Really.”

"I hate your personality."

"Why are you lying to me? Really, why? If you don't plan on talking to me again after this plan is over, what's stopping you."

"Stopping me from what?"

"Being honest."

"You're prying."

"Please?"

"..Is that it?"

"What more do you want?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest."

"It's safe here, right? No one else who hates me will find me and kill me again, correct?"

"I mean.. It's no fortress. But I don't think that will happen."

"You hate me, right?"

"..I'm not sure anymore."

"I didn't fucking chose to, now did I? And speak for yourself! Gods."

"I don't get attached!"

"Oh, pull your head out of your arse, yes you do."

"Name one thing I'm attached to."

'Tommy."

"He's not an attachment."

"I asked you not to lie."

"... I'm not attached to you."

"Then why haven't you left? Why didn't you leave me during limbo?"

"Here is safe, and your limbo was simply better."

"And sleeping on my shoulder was necessary. Following me around like a lost cat was simply survival, right?"

"Yep. Survival."

"..I don't know why I even bothered." Wilbur muttered, beginning to walk back to his chair. "If you're not going to be honest with me, have it your way. Forgive me for wanting a shred of decency with the man who's staying with me."

"Anne there's nothing more to it? At all?"

"I don't want to leave here after the plan happens."

"..You don't?"

"I just didn't think you enjoyed my company to any capacity." Wilbur shrugged.

"You're tolerable. I got used to it."

"Hm." Wilbur hummed. He walked over to the larger window in the kitchen, running taloned fingers over the edge of the counter. "I'm glad I'm not completely insufferable, in that case."

"Tommy is much more annoying than you, feathers."

"Well then, that's got to make me at least 'nice to be around'." Wilbur flashed a smile.

"..You're not too awful to be around either. When you're not.. you know, threatening me. Keep that up, I might even consider you nice."

"Really? Me? Nice?"

"I said maybe."

"Would you prefer I be nice?"

"I mean- yeah."

“I didn’t say that. But, nice is better.”

"I know. Such a tragedy. Will be so hard for you. But, trust me, I believe in you." Wilbur said sarcastically, not making any effort to move away from Dream.

"You're being weirdly patient with me."

“Might as well make the best of things, right?”

"You're being polite so I don't run off and make the plan harder to complete."

“A bit of that, sure. But if you’re planning to live with me after this we might as well start getting along.”

"Fair point, Feathers."

“I know, I’m very smart.” Wilbur said with sarcasm.

"I'm your favorite enemy."

“Eh, not so sure. Had a lot of those.” Wilbur half joked.

"You're letting me live here. Clearly, I'm your favorite."

“Debatable.”

“Didn’t mean it like that. It’s the word enemy. It’s- well, right now you’re doing a bad job at being my enemy. Doesn’t necessarily mean negative.”

"Oh, so instead of enemies, we are acquaintances, then?"

“I.. suppose you could say that.”

"You look better when you're not in full harpy mode."

“Oh, you didn’t like that then?”

"Well, typically, when you're big bird, you're pissed off at me."

“I mean, not necessarily. It’s a defense mechanism, sometimes it’s just a response but I can do it whenever.”

"Okay, bird boy."

“What, you want to see?” Wilbur flashed a smile.

“I can do it.”

"You don't have to unless you want to..."

"Yes or no."

"Fine, if you insist, show me that you can change on demand."

Wilbur chuckled. “Yeah, yeah.” Then returned to normal. “There.. that’s what you get. Your weekly subscription.”

"Only weekly?"

“You want more?”

“No, no- It’s a joke. You’re fine.”

"Okay, Bird Boy."

“You know Dream, for someone who claims to only tolerate me, you’re doing a lot of.. what’s the word? Flirting.”

"What do you call it, then?"

Dream impulsively kisses Wilbur's cheek.

Wilbur is caught off guard but doesn't move away. "Oh."

"What's the matter, William? Can't handle taunting?"

"Taunting?! You kissed me! How is that taunting?"

"To get a reaction out of you."

"Since when do you study psychology?"

"I don't. I've just been around you long enough to know what you do when you're trying to deflect."

"Seems like I just did."

"Flirting doesn't mean I like you. Kissing you doesn't mean I like you."

"Then what does mean you like me?"

"... I don't like you."

“Yeah, and what you did made that so clear.”

"There are fish that kiss to show dominance."

“Is that what you were doing, then? Showing dominance? Weird, much?”

"... was it okay?"

Wilbur sighs, rubbing his eyes. "What do you mean, 'was it okay'?"

"Well, if you hated it, then I hate you too!"

"You see how I never said that?"

"Did you like it or not?"

"I-" Wilbur shrugged, looking out the window. "I didn't hate it, okay?"

"..Hm." Wilbur hummed, adjusting his glasses as he stood up to be on level with Dream (still towering over him).

Wilbur shrugged. “Not really. I know you.”

"No. -And you can thank Ghostbur. Seems he had a quite bit of time on his hands."

"Why would I thank that sorry excuse of an echo of you? Even if he decorated... okay... he's pathetic."

Wilbur is a bit caught off gaurd. "I didn't know you hated him so much. Why?"

"He's weak and pathetic. Very gullible but only controllable to a point."

"..How lovely." Wilbur said under his breathe. He went over to pick up the book Dream had kicked from the floor, placing it back on one of the shelves.

"You like my personality?"

"Subtext."

“Am I wrong?” Wilbur grinned. “Tell me I’m wrong. Really.”

"I hate your personality."

"Why are you lying to me? Really, why? If you don't plan on talking to me again after this plan is over, what's stopping you."

"Stopping me from what?"

"Being honest."

"You're prying."

"Please?"

"..Is that it?"

"What more do you want?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest."

"It's safe here, right? No one else who hates me will find me and kill me again, correct?"

"I mean.. It's no fortress. But I don't think that will happen."

"You hate me, right?"

"..I'm not sure anymore."

"I didn't fucking chose to, now did I? And speak for yourself! Gods."

"I don't get attached!"

"Oh, pull your head out of your arse, yes you do."

"Name one thing I'm attached to."

'Tommy."

"He's not an attachment."

"I asked you not to lie."

"... I'm not attached to you."

"Then why haven't you left? Why didn't you leave me during limbo?"

"Here is safe, and your limbo was simply better."

"And sleeping on my shoulder was necessary. Following me around like a lost cat was simply survival, right?"

"Yep. Survival."

"..I don't know why I even bothered." Wilbur muttered, beginning to walk back to his chair. "If you're not going to be honest with me, have it your way. Forgive me for wanting a shred of decency with the man who's staying with me."

"Anne there's nothing more to it? At all?"

"I don't want to leave here after the plan happens."

"..You don't?"

"I just didn't think you enjoyed my company to any capacity." Wilbur shrugged.

"You're tolerable. I got used to it."

"Hm." Wilbur hummed. He walked over to the larger window in the kitchen, running taloned fingers over the edge of the counter. "I'm glad I'm not completely insufferable, in that case."

"Tommy is much more annoying than you, feathers."

"Well then, that's got to make me at least 'nice to be around'." Wilbur flashed a smile.

"..You're not too awful to be around either. When you're not.. you know, threatening me. Keep that up, I might even consider you nice."

"Really? Me? Nice?"

"I said maybe."

"Would you prefer I be nice?"

"I mean- yeah."

“I didn’t say that. But, nice is better.”

"I know. Such a tragedy. Will be so hard for you. But, trust me, I believe in you." Wilbur said sarcastically, not making any effort to move away from Dream.

"You're being weirdly patient with me."

“Might as well make the best of things, right?”

"You're being polite so I don't run off and make the plan harder to complete."

“A bit of that, sure. But if you’re planning to live with me after this we might as well start getting along.”

"Fair point, Feathers."

“I know, I’m very smart.” Wilbur said with sarcasm.

"I'm your favorite enemy."

“Eh, not so sure. Had a lot of those.” Wilbur half joked.

"You're letting me live here. Clearly, I'm your favorite."

“Debatable.”

“Didn’t mean it like that. It’s the word enemy. It’s- well, right now you’re doing a bad job at being my enemy. Doesn’t necessarily mean negative.”

"Oh, so instead of enemies, we are acquaintances, then?"

“I.. suppose you could say that.”

"You look better when you're not in full harpy mode."

“Oh, you didn’t like that then?”

"Well, typically, when you're big bird, you're pissed off at me."

“I mean, not necessarily. It’s a defense mechanism, sometimes it’s just a response but I can do it whenever.”

"Okay, bird boy."

“What, you want to see?” Wilbur flashed a smile.

“I can do it.”

"You don't have to unless you want to..."

"Yes or no."

"Fine, if you insist, show me that you can change on demand."

Wilbur chuckled. “Yeah, yeah.” Then returned to normal. “There.. that’s what you get. Your weekly subscription.”

"Only weekly?"

“You want more?”

“No, no- It’s a joke. You’re fine.”

"Okay, Bird Boy."

“You know Dream, for someone who claims to only tolerate me, you’re doing a lot of.. what’s the word? Flirting.”

"What do you call it, then?"

Dream impulsively kisses Wilbur's cheek.

Wilbur is caught off guard but doesn't move away. "Oh."

"What's the matter, William? Can't handle taunting?"

"Taunting?! You kissed me! How is that taunting?"

"To get a reaction out of you."

"Since when do you study psychology?"

"I don't. I've just been around you long enough to know what you do when you're trying to deflect."

"Seems like I just did."

"Flirting doesn't mean I like you. Kissing you doesn't mean I like you."

"Then what does mean you like me?"

"... I don't like you."

“Yeah, and what you did made that so clear.”

"There are fish that kiss to show dominance."

“Is that what you were doing, then? Showing dominance? Weird, much?”

"... was it okay?"

Wilbur sighs, rubbing his eyes. "What do you mean, 'was it okay'?"

"Well, if you hated it, then I hate you too!"

"You see how I never said that?"

"..Hm." Wilbur hummed, adjusting his glasses as he stood up to be on level with Dream (still towering over him).

Wilbur shrugged. “Not really. I know you.”

"No. -And you can thank Ghostbur. Seems he had a quite bit of time on his hands."

"Why would I thank that sorry excuse of an echo of you? Even if he decorated... okay... he's pathetic."

Wilbur is a bit caught off gaurd. "I didn't know you hated him so much. Why?"

"He's weak and pathetic. Very gullible but only controllable to a point."

"..How lovely." Wilbur said under his breathe. He went over to pick up the book Dream had kicked from the floor, placing it back on one of the shelves.

"You like my personality?"

"Subtext."

“Am I wrong?” Wilbur grinned. “Tell me I’m wrong. Really.”

"I hate your personality."

"Why are you lying to me? Really, why? If you don't plan on talking to me again after this plan is over, what's stopping you."

"Stopping me from what?"

"Being honest."

"You're prying."

"Please?"

"..Is that it?"

"What more do you want?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest."

"It's safe here, right? No one else who hates me will find me and kill me again, correct?"

"I mean.. It's no fortress. But I don't think that will happen."

"You hate me, right?"

"..I'm not sure anymore."

"I didn't fucking chose to, now did I? And speak for yourself! Gods."

"I don't get attached!"

"Oh, pull your head out of your arse, yes you do."

"Name one thing I'm attached to."

'Tommy."

"He's not an attachment."

"I asked you not to lie."

"... I'm not attached to you."

"Then why haven't you left? Why didn't you leave me during limbo?"

"Here is safe, and your limbo was simply better."

"And sleeping on my shoulder was necessary. Following me around like a lost cat was simply survival, right?"

"Yep. Survival."

"..I don't know why I even bothered." Wilbur muttered, beginning to walk back to his chair. "If you're not going to be honest with me, have it your way. Forgive me for wanting a shred of decency with the man who's staying with me."

"Anne there's nothing more to it? At all?"

"I don't want to leave here after the plan happens."

"..You don't?"

"I just didn't think you enjoyed my company to any capacity." Wilbur shrugged.

"You're tolerable. I got used to it."

"Hm." Wilbur hummed. He walked over to the larger window in the kitchen, running taloned fingers over the edge of the counter. "I'm glad I'm not completely insufferable, in that case."

"Tommy is much more annoying than you, feathers."

"Well then, that's got to make me at least 'nice to be around'." Wilbur flashed a smile.

"..You're not too awful to be around either. When you're not.. you know, threatening me. Keep that up, I might even consider you nice."

"Really? Me? Nice?"

"I said maybe."

"Would you prefer I be nice?"

"I mean- yeah."

“I didn’t say that. But, nice is better.”

"I know. Such a tragedy. Will be so hard for you. But, trust me, I believe in you." Wilbur said sarcastically, not making any effort to move away from Dream.

"You're being weirdly patient with me."

“Might as well make the best of things, right?”

"You're being polite so I don't run off and make the plan harder to complete."

“A bit of that, sure. But if you’re planning to live with me after this we might as well start getting along.”

"Fair point, Feathers."

“I know, I’m very smart.” Wilbur said with sarcasm.

"I'm your favorite enemy."

“Eh, not so sure. Had a lot of those.” Wilbur half joked.

"You're letting me live here. Clearly, I'm your favorite."

“Debatable.”

“Didn’t mean it like that. It’s the word enemy. It’s- well, right now you’re doing a bad job at being my enemy. Doesn’t necessarily mean negative.”

"Oh, so instead of enemies, we are acquaintances, then?"

“I.. suppose you could say that.”

"You look better when you're not in full harpy mode."

“Oh, you didn’t like that then?”

"Well, typically, when you're big bird, you're pissed off at me."

“I mean, not necessarily. It’s a defense mechanism, sometimes it’s just a response but I can do it whenever.”

"Okay, bird boy."

“What, you want to see?” Wilbur flashed a smile.

“I can do it.”

"You don't have to unless you want to..."

"Yes or no."

"Fine, if you insist, show me that you can change on demand."

Wilbur chuckled. “Yeah, yeah.” Then returned to normal. “There.. that’s what you get. Your weekly subscription.”

"Only weekly?"

“You want more?”