prayers4melissa

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Collect I will lie down in peace and take my rest, for in God alone I dwell unafraid. (Ps. 4:8) Be present, merciful God, and protect us through the silent hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this fleeting world may rest in your eternal changelessness; through Jesus Christ our Lord.†† Amen. http://www.presbyterianmission.org/devotion/daily/2020/7/4/ https://www.instagram.com/p/CCPyKOkJIIe/?igshid=p2dp33wdbnqv

Help Seek Guidance God, I need Your help. I can’t fix these problems alone. Help me to understand the situation, and then to seek Your help and guidance in resolving the challenges before me.

Psalm 131 Song of Quiet Trust A SONG OF ASCENTS. OF DAVID. O LORD, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; my soul is like the weaned child that is with me. O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time on and forevermore. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-ecY3SJCwA/?igshid=1fedi96hh9wz7

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[i carry your heart with me (i carry it in]
By E. E. Cummings
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
“[i carry your heart with me (i carry it in]” Copyright 1952, © 1980, 1991 by the Trustees for the E. E. Cummings Trust, from Complete Poems: 1904-1962 by E. E. Cummings, edited by George J. Firmage. Liveright Publishing Corporation.
Source: Poetry (June 1952).
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/179622#
 https://www.instagram.com/p/B9sdrfXJANl/?igshid=1ran704amnj7u

Entry 22: Not My Own Words @sara.espiritu I don’t have any words of my own today. Nor have I had many to share these past several days. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about Momma every day since the last time I had the words to convey my thoughts. The time has escaped me. It’s March now. I’m so swamped. I have less than a week until the 10 year anniversary of her death. I’m...I’m not ready. I’ll be too focused on preparing for qualifying for quizzing, too preoccupied studying for school, too busy memorizing 70 stupid digits of pi for Precal. I don’t know if I can do it all. But I’m not alone in this grief. Amidst all the busyness, I came across the posted poem below... I don’t have much to say about it. But my dear sister’s beautiful words resonate deeply with my own outbursts and sorrows for the loss of our Momma. I can’t wait to see her in a week. I just hope I’m not too focused on other things to cherish her presence in this hard time. Please be praying for me this week ❤️ -Sara Joy (at Ashland, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9X3kZqJIK0/?igshid=1pn7hyv0z6alp

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Day 21: The Early Readers Bible “I remember two Easters ago, Momma and Daddy gave me an Early Readers Bible. Momma always helped me with some words or names. (There are some hard names in there!) We would do it every night. When my mom was available (which was mostly every night). That was a time we spent alone together. It was mom and daughter time to me. I felt really great because I love Bible stories, especially the kind that were in my Early Reader’s Bible. -Sara Joy” This entry quote doesn’t really need much else explaining. Momma took the time to sit down with her daughters, in groups and one on one, to discuss God’s Word with us. I got that Early Reader’s Bible when I was four. Momma read me the stories until I could begin reading them out loud myself. I was contstantly inquiring and trying to decipher the words that were unfamiliar to me. I seem to recall specifically asking Momma about Nebuchadnezzar and shadrack and meshack and abendigo. I was fascinated with the weird spellings and the miraculous tales and the pictures on the page. I was a passionately curious kid. Some of that energy has carried on into my adolescence. I still find myself yearning to immerse in His Holy Word. Sometimes I fall short of that desire in favor of other things that take less effort, but my passion still shines through. I love reading and taking in and analyzing and challenging myself to apply what I’ve learned to lead a better Christian life. Bible quizzing has furthered how well-versed I am in the New Testament’s text, but the boundaries can always be pushed further. I’ve thought about pursuing a major or minor in biblical and theological studies, and even if I don’t, I will almost certainly want to take those electives. This passion of mine probably all started with that very book. Momma understood the importance of “teaching them young.” I’m thankful for the time she took to be with me at the start of my journey. Today, I still carry her sentiments with me as I continue on this neverending path of getting to know more and more about my Lord, and just like Momma did with me and everyone else she met, I hope to share that ultimate story - that ultimate REALITY - with anyone who I come across along the way. -Sara Joy prayersformelissa.com/2020/01/29/day-21-the-early-readers-bible/ 
https://www.instagram.com/p/B75iGxIpT1T/?igshid=1nth3guqytuxa

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Fire and Rain James Taylor Won't you look down upon me, Jesus? You’ve got to help me make a stand You’ve just got to see me through another day My body's achin' and my time is at hand I won’t make it any other way Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again https://open.spotify.com/track/4FtJVH5AcVHTfP0K8ZKpb6?si=fVYHpdMUQEGQYa73o_nKWw https://www.instagram.com/p/B7YupS3pXIz/?igshid=1suab52lizql3

“I watched the Spirit, like a dove flying down out of the sky...." —John 1:32 (The Message) (at San Diego, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7YhieEpYcE/?igshid=1rl6uejh5m8f3

Day 20: Christmas Decorations The Christmas season is pretty much over. The twelve days of Christmas ended last week, students are going back to school, and the vast majority of adults are heading back to work. That holiday spirit that accompanies Christmas melted away with the snow (in Indiana at least). With a heavy heart, families are beginning to take down their various Christmas decorations from their hooks on the wall and their places on the mantelpiece. For the Espiritu house in New Castle, I never put up those decorations in the first place. December is a hectic time for the Espiritu house. Early in the month, I have a major bible quiz for which I have to prepare, and by the time that’s over, final exams are in full swing, and I’m swamped for the remainder of the quarter, especially since this was my first semester of mostly college-level classes. Dad is overwhelmed with Advent season preparation for multiple churches, and it can sometimes feel like there’s not a second of rest. Classes didn’t end until the 20th, and I was exhausted by the end of it. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling the happiness of the holidays until my family got here. By the time they did, however, it was too late to make the house nice, and I felt like I hadn’t done my part to make the place feel more festive. Thankfully, our big celebration was in Lansing at my sister’s house this year, so most of the pressure was off. Even though I didn’t feel that pressure, every time I walked through the unadorned rooms at the end of every monotonous day, I couldn’t help but wish I had the time and energy to deck the halls of my house with boughs of holly and make it look a lot like Christmas. Momma was never much of a decorator, but she did her best to make her house feel like a home. Truthfully, even though in the last ten years my sisters and I have tried to maintain that sentiment, every year since Momma’s death it feels less and less homey to me, especially in the past two years without any sisters around. When my sisters are around, though, my heart is full, and I feel like I’m in my childhood home again, and ultimately I know that matters more than any trees, lights, or holly that I could put up in their absence. That doesn’t mean I didn’t wish it was different, though. Every time I have to motivate myself to face that never ending task of trying to keep up with chores, or every trip or tour I take in other people’s places that are filled to the brim with decor - those are some of the times that I miss Momma the most. -Sara Joy 
https://www.instagram.com/p/B7XN6PCJ5fG/?igshid=t4vns00q9ync

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Day 19: Music and Praise Sunday January 10, 2010 
7:40am (from my perspective) “Amazing Grace was my favorite song. I used to like to sing it while playing. When Momma would hear me sing spontaneously, she would smile and say, ‘My, what a great singer you are!’ Momma LOVED having her home filled with music and praise!” Throughout the twenty-four hours that the Espiritu sisters were all in one place this past New Year’s Eve Extravaganza, one thing was for certain: there was a COPIOUS amount of music and praise. As we got ready for family pictures, we jammed to pop songs of the decade at the top of our lungs. At points throughout the celebration, one or two of us would spontaneously break into song. As we rang in the New Year, we put our arms around one another and harmonized to Auld Lang Syne, a sister tradition that has lasted even when one or two sisters can’t be there. In the morning, the early risers sat at the table, did devotionals, and lifted our hearts together in praise to God with soft melodies and sweet harmonies. Then, if that wasn’t enough, we were fortunate to have the opportunity to put on a private family concert of sorts at my brother-in-law’s church. Dad played piano, Jon was on drums, Tabitha did flute and joined in with the rest of the sisters on vocals. It wasn’t for show, it wasn’t meant to be perfect, and it wasn’t for anyone else but us and Jesus. I’ve missed performing with my family, and it was a blessing to be able to sing praise music with all of them for the first time in several years. Music was a huge part of Momma’s life, too. She composed and wrote songs with my dad way back in the day. She taught the kids in children’s church numerous hymns and worship songs. She had albums upon albums of Christian praise music stocked up at home. She taught her daughters several tunes to help them remember things from countries of the world to historical figures to verses of the Bible. She supported her daughters in choir and band. She put the little ones to bed with lullabies using her sing-songy voice (though I’m told that she was a bit pitchy). She woke us up with tunes of boisterous joy. She closed her eyes and lifted her hands up in worship during church. You could see her love for Jesus radiating off her every time she did so. She loved to incorporate music into our everyday lives. Momma also would have loved all of what happened at the New Year’s celebration a couple of weeks ago. She would have smiled at all of us being silly as we danced and sang and had fun. She would have marveled at how each of her daughters had been blessed with varying levels of musicality. She would have been thankful that we could all come together to use those talents to praise the living God. And, as it says in the journal entry above, she would have LOVED having her home filled with music and praise. -Sara Joy *verse image: Excerpt from Psalm 98

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