୨ 𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑜 ୧

sometimes i firmly believe that i belong to the renaissance, like yes, i need Botticelli to paint me as an angel

so there is an Italian author, Giacomo Leopardi, who’s always been extremely dear to me, since i relate to his personal life experience and i find it extremely easy to empathise with him. he never failed to make me cry (istg i never cried so much over a man and he’s the only man who deserves my tears). Leopardi happened to become friends with Pietro Giordani, and their bond (which is perfectly shown in the movie “Il giovane favoloso”) reminds me of the bond i created with my former philosophy professor, who i still email from time to time. i’m actually unable to talk about this without crying like a little child because she means so much to me. she made me fall in love with my sensibility, which i used to despise and try to erase desperately. i know she never loved me in a romantic way, but she always showed her care towards me (in the most discreet, respectful and appropriate way) just like Giordani did with Leopardi. moreover, it was Giordani who showed Leopardi what life is outside of the small rural reality he was living in, the same way she did with me. a piece of my heart will always be hers.

please, please grab my neck and tell me i belong to you and reduce me to a brainless, pathetic little being at your feet, please

“you’re so easy to get along with” sure love, i know it’s easy to get along with the personality i made up according to your vibe, needs and thoughts

he grabbed me by the neck today, i felt like i took my first breath after years.

abused becomes his own abuser