I should’ve written earlier about it. I guess I was just still in denial too; but now I can feel myself going in a little deeper and I wanted to share it to somebody, but nobody ever really listens. I guess that’s the beauty of writing your private thoughts; because you get to read those thoughts again, and it’s like you’re listening to yourself, like you’re really there for yourself. And that’s just beautiful.

So now here I am. Writing again. Now with my sober thoughts, I guess.

So…. yes, the next day came and I had my 6:00-9:00PM class which I was being summoned to report about Greek costumes. I wasn’t really sure the plan of going at the movie was going to push through, but Jayron asked for my number when I was on my way to Manila, so I decided to give him since that’s the only way we can communicate with each other for the next few hours (which I honestly am so thrilled about) since I no longer have internet connection.

The whole time on the FX, I was just thinking about it, if it really is going to happen. But eventually, I had to face reality first. I had to get through the report, then who knows?

After the longest three hours of my life, I texted Danie because I had plans to go to her condo. I have no idea Jayron and I are going to see each other. He wasn’t texting me after my class so I assumed it wasn’t going to happen. Turns out, he’s been messaging me nonstop on iMessage which was being received by Tito Don since I had his email registered on my phone. We eventually caught up, so I told Danie and Carlo about him, that he was coming, and that he asked me to watch a movie. I felt annoyed at Carlo for rejecting at first, but really, he never even had any say about it since 1. it’s not his condo, and 2. Jayron’s my visitor.

He was coming. And I was goddamned nervous as fuck. I felt him got off the elevator, and when the knock on the door came, I can’t fucking move. I was terrified, like opening that door is gonna be the death of me. Ha! So fucking ironic, isn’t it? I just had to open the door… That’s all I really had to do, you know?

We smoked (and yes, we actually found out that we both smoke the day before) and played cards. He was still asking me at about 11:00PM what the plan was, and I already am so fucking high I can’t decide. But I wanted to get out of the condo and leave Carlo and his selfish ass with Danie. But at the same time, I’m still so fucking scared. Not of him, but of what the rest of the evening is gonna be. But fuck that shit. I got up, we got down, and we went to Resorts World.

I had no idea Resorts World still had movies at the middle of the night on a Monday. Turns out they do. So we got inside his Uber ride and went straight to it.

We talked on the ride, mostly just about our common threads, anything under the sun. He was funny. And his voice, oh God his voice, it was husky with angst. He pronounced the letter R in a cute way. I think he doesn’t know it’s cute though. I assumed he talked like that because of Taft, but really he just had short tongue. LOL.

We headed straight to the cinema floor and the ticket clerk was taking a long ass time giving us our tickets because of some technical failures. We watched The Maze Runner. He was about to grab some food, but every restaurant’s already closed. So we just watched. Well, I did. He fell asleep. Ha, ha. I felt a little off for a moment, and I can tell he’s not really sleeping. I feel like he’s just acting, trying to play cool. Still, I finished the movie.

After the movie was through, we waited for his Uber ride. The moment I got in to the car, My One and Only by Parokya ni Edgar started playing on the radio. I wanted to laugh. That was fucking ridiculous. Was that a sign? And if it is, what was it trying to say?

I think we were along Buendia when I randomly asked him what his favorite song is. "Currently, Riptide by Vance Joy." "I don't know that song." "You’re lucky ‘cause I have it on my phone." He pressed play, and I listened. Even listening to the song made me feel some things, all new to me. Like that scene on Stuck in Love where Logan played Between the Bars for Lily inside the car while it was pouring outside. Just a few minutes ago, my ex’s song played for me. And now you’re playing on different strings. I guess I might’ve just been right all along about having a good feeling about all this.

Still, we kept talking. He was nothing but fucking surprising. I can’t believe how easy it was being with him. I can’t believe it could be that easy with someone, with someone I was hanging out with for the first time, with someone I’ve known my whole life but never really met, you know? I was seeing him in a different light after all these years, and he was just unexpected. He wasn’t what I was expecting, he was way waaay better.

Well. This day started it all, I guess. It was a normal Sunday afternoon, and Ate Abie and I decided to hang out, while I still had this presentation report going on. Trying to look for informations and photos about Greek clothing in my phone, a message came.

*Jayron de Leon sent you a message*

“MaRes ka na din? Haha”

I guess proximity started it all. We talked all afternoon, all night. He sounded funny, and charming, and just plain easy to talk to. But I was nervous about his voice, of what it sounded like. I’m always nervous about simple things like that. We talked about our school, life at Taft, our courses, our friends, and movies; until he asked me one question.

“Gusto mong manood ng Maze Runner?”

I didn’t know I was immediately going to know what I wanted. Yes. That sounds lovely.