She Bleeds Words

You showed me How love could be Blue like a clear sky I felt safe and sound In this new world found

For a while it was grey When I drove you away With my closed heart and silences But when I gave in, slowly I fell for you, irrevocably

And that was when the end began For you changed into a different man Red like raging storms, as black as the quiet night Everyday was a new shade Breaking all the promises made

Before we turned colourless I gathered all your mess Painting the canvas white, I let you go But little did I know back then Love was never going to be simple again

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In that little time we had You showed me all shades of love

We write to speak In a world that tries to silence us To let them know, we've had enough

For children Paying the price of mistakes Made centuries ago

We write For people in power Who have turned a blind eye To those who need attention the most

We write for our only home Depleting each second Even right now, as I speak

We write for hope in this hopeless world We write For peace For love We write for change

I see your soul I'm gifted like that I see people through And I've seen you 

In those words you say I see the pain How you've been broken How you've been shaken 

I see you flirt with me Saying those cute things The way you steal your eyes All your games I realize 

You may think I'm not ready Or that you don't have much to offer But I see you, babe, I do It makes me more crazy about you 

For once, can you see me? Look beyond, look right through We're young, we're wild, we're free We can be all you want us to be 

Tomorrow is not in my books All I care about is you, today I want you to touch me We're beautiful, don't you see?

You ruined my favourite song That I hummed while making dinner Now when it plays My heart aches Transported to the time you danced with me 

You ruined my favourite dress That I wore on our first date All it does now is remind What couldn’t be mine As it lies in the bottom rack of my wardrobe

You ruined my favourite show That we watched on the couch on Saturdays When Ross and Rachel kiss It’s you I miss No matter how hard I try to distract myself 

You ruined my favourite spot in the city When I went when things got worse It’s just not the same Feels like a sick game The universe is playing on me since you left 

All my favourite things Have become things I loathe But I guess I knew When I shared myself with you That one day I had to give them up Like you did on us Like you did on our love

A big part of you Wants the things you despise You long for love Even when you say you don't Because you never had it Because you never felt it You want to depend You want to see what's that like For as long as you can remember It's been only you This one time, you want to see This one time, you want to be You want to be vulnerable You want to bare your feelings You want to open the door That has been closed You want to see what that feels like You want to know what that girl is like But still, you stop yourself You refrain from emotions Limit your expressions The little that you have You would lose If you weren't the strong girl You have been for a long while You have caged yourself So recklessly When, my love You long to be free

What an incredible waste of time You have been to me Each moment spent with you Waiting on your false promises Giving you the chances you didn't deserve Enduring your nonsense beyond my capacity How appallingly foolish of me! What an atrocious person I have been to me Keeping your needs above mine Being so reckless with my heart Each time falling further apart And still entertaining your insanity How much more mindless could I be? What a pathetic state of mind I am in since I realized That I was nothing but a toy to you And I let you treat me like one Like I meant nothing to myself The worst was doing everything willingly I became my own enemy What an unfair life I have been living This has become more and more tiring I sit here, cursing my deeds each day While you aren't bothered at all When it should be the other way round I keep waiting for you For answers, for an apology And to forgive myself For bringing out the worst in me

When he makes up A new excuse each time Don't sit around Listening to them You know you've got better things to do

When he says You're overreacting Pick your bag up And walk right out You know you've got better places to be

When he treats you Like just another side chick Block him and Don't look back You know you deserve a lot more than that

When he makes Zero efforts on things That matter to you Don't expect things to get better You know very well things won't change

And most of all When he's unwilling to Give you the love you deserve Dump him and move on You know your worth more than anyone else 

I am made of wounds you gave me From the times I didn't know I was being beaten down These wounds are a part of me now But they could never define who I am For I am doing my best to heal And in time, I know I will

I am made of the lies you told me From the days I thought all you said was gospel Little did I know what you meant Was different from what you said And now, I don't believe hopelessly Words no longer have power over me

I am made of the dreams you shattered When you gave me everything and took it away Not once did you think how empty I would be Without them, I had some rough times But life goes on and so will I I have new dreams to work on till I die

I am made of you, of some bits and pieces For there was a time we were but one Breathing, feeling, living as one human being But now we are separated, for you to be free And I am floating in this space alone Trying to find my way back home

I am made of a lot of things But mostly of myself, from head to toe My heart is grieving, but it will survive Like it has, many calamities before you In my story, you are merely half a chapter And this is your end, Dear Heartbreaker

Because we don't wait for a knight in shining armour To protect us and take us away from misery We become the knight ourselves, we have no choice We are all we have, being the best we could be 

Because we don't have everything given to us Served on a silver platter, ready to be consumed We worked hard for what we have, we still do Our stories are different, they can't be assumed 

Because since the beginning, we do what we like best Don't lie in bed when it's told, we lead We don't keep quiet, we speak our hearts out We don't quite fit in the category of women they need

They don't write books about women like us Because they don't understand us They don't know what it's like to live in our shoes To be questioned, to hardly be understood They try to tell our stories but they fail Women like us, we never needed men We're having fun, for as long as we can

Have you ever been addicted to someone? Let me tell you what that feels like Needing them all day, all night Never letting them out of sight Keeping them above yourself Letting them walk all over you And then blaming yourself when they go Leaving you alone, begging for more

Sometimes it's difficult to understand How someone you have becomes someone you need That morning kiss and night hug Becomes a necessity, becomes a drug There are days when you think you can forget And days when they are all you can remember A few seconds of their love is all you crave You're a collapsing world only they can save

But like drugs, they lead to catastrophes Injurious to your body, mind and soul You deserve someone who doesn't intoxicate you But be with you, living a reality In difficult times, becomes your sanity You don't need a drug, you need a person Who will show you that love isn't hard to find They will be your forever, your lifetime

In a room full of people who love me I always look for you Not because you ever loved me But because I want you to see How much I'm loved and cared Unlike you said

I want you to be there For all the times I cried myself to sleep Because you told me I was not worthy That I don't deserve any of it And made me stay after all the pain You fooled me again and again

You were a star out of van Gogh's painting I was barely a scribble on a crumpled page But somehow our paths entwined Like it happens in all clichéd movies

Was this love? It couldn't be What were you doing to me?

The minute we began talking to each other I knew I was going to write about you You were the beginning of the end And I looked forward to the journey

Was this love? I asked again I was ready to be burdened with pain

Like I had anticipated, you broke me But somehow it didn't hurt that much Maybe I was still in denial I would cross mountains for us to be together

Was this love? I didn't know However, I was never letting you go

I text you every night, ask you if you're fine Watch you from across the street, hiding in the bushes I like being there, even when you can't see Until that night when I saw you kiss her by the window

Was this love? I asked angrily Seeing you with someone else enraged me

Since then, our conversations are one-sided I speak, you listen I eat, you starve I breathe, you don't

Was this love? Not at all It was the beginning of my downfall

The last time I wrote was in May I was watching a show I don't remember While you were getting ready for work Wearing the shirt I got you for your birthday

I meant to tell you how you looked heavenly But I didn't, maybe I should have Instead, I opened my notebook to write How I had finally found somebody 

The last time I wrote was in December One of those cold evenings that we loved You had too much of whisky, it got to your head My drunk and gorgeous, baby/lover 

You passed out on my lap, breathing heavy And I caressed your hair while thinking How without you, life would be a festival of gloom All these words are still penned down in my diary 

The last time I wrote was I think in June When it had been three weeks since I last spoke to you You didn't answer my calls, ignored my texts I spent nights looking at the sky, staring at the moon 

As tears and loneliness were my only company I began writing about all the things that I love you for And then you called to say how it's over between us   The moment that turned my happy life into melancholy