it's a beautiful day to save lives;

Being out of the house and away from home and the hospital was a blessing. When Derek had approached him to go camping for a weekend, Owen had been more than happy to say yes. He honestly would have sat in a field and played cards with Derek all weekend if it meant he didn’t have to be at home. Everything had turned on its head and fallen and now he was there to pick the pieces up, figuring out where all of them went.  

He nodded in agreement, staring out at the water and the mountains that surrounded it.            “Yeah.”    A small smile spread on his face as he stood there, staring at the water. “I’m glad you wanted to do this and that you wanted to invite me.”    Owen pauses, wondering if he’s willing to share what he’s feeling. But it’s Derek.       “I feel like I’m suffocating everywhere else.” 

DEREK.

Derek hadn’t exactly been running from his problems, just letting himself take a moment to breath. The entire events of the shooting still had a shake in his hand and suddenly the world around him looked a lot different. With a deep exhale, the smile on his face grew wider and wider. There was nothing more right in the world than when Derek Shepherd’s shoes walked across the terrain of wilderness. This was the life, and all the medicine he really needed to recover and move forward. And as he took it all in, he hoped the same for the other man.

“good.” leaning forwards with a teasing smile, she whispered in his ear. “you won’t want me feeling behind, would you dr shepherd?” meredith pulls away slowly, examining his reaction to see if teasing him like this is something she should invest on in the future. 

DEREK.

❛ Every path is the right path. ❜

❛ As long as you don’t choose, everything remains possible. ❜

❛ You have to make the right choice. ❜

❛ In chess, it’s called Zugzwang – when the only viable move … is not to move. ❜

❛ I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid I haven’t been alive enough. ❜

❛ What did I do to deserve this? ❜

❛ You can’t not exist. Is there life after death? ❜

❛ How can you be so sure you even exist? ❜

❛ When we were separated, I said I would never love anyone else, ever. I would never become attached, I’d never stay put anywhere, I’d have nothing for myself; I decided I would pretend to be alive. And this is what I’ve been waiting for, all this time, renouncing all possible lives, for one only, with you. ❜

❛ I’d just like to ask you one question. Did you do it on purpose? ❜

❛ Choices have been made. I can only continue on. ❜

❛ Time is a result of the expansion of the universe itself. But what will happen when the universe has finished expanding? ❜

❛ Urgh, you’re still here? Did I fall asleep? ❜

❛ There’s no life without you. ❜

❛ Go slowly. I have to get used to this. ❜

❛ I talked to you so much when you weren’t there, it’s strange for me to talk to you for real. ❜

❛ I often have this dream. I can hear you screaming, there is a bear. I chase it away and you’re not afraid anymore. But when I wake up, there’s no bear but you’re still afraid. ❜

❛ I don’t dare to move, I don’t live, whatever I do is a disaster. ❜

❛ I will never leave anything to chance again. ❜

❛ I’m not happy. I’m going crazy. ❜

❛ Every morning when I wake up, I rub my eyes and I see your face and I start crying. ❜

❛ I don’t know what to do! It’s not my fault, right? You’re not gonna leave me, are you? ❜

❛ How can you stay so calm? How can you be like that? You’re not human! ❜

❛ The smoke comes out of the cigarette, but it never goes back in. We cannot go back. That’s why it’s hard to choose. ❜

❛ It doesn’t look like there is much to do. I hope I brought enough Sudoku. ❜

❛ You’re the first and last person I’ll ever love. ❜

❛ They say if you slow your breathing, time slows down. ❜

❛ We shouldn’t. You don’t know me and I’m not a good person. ❜

❛ Don’t try to make me feel better, it only makes me feel guiltier! What’s wrong with me? ❜

❛ You have a gift for making people uncomfortable. ❜

❛ You never notice me, you never notice anyone. ❜

❛ Do you know how to talk? Well say something. ❜

❛ You know what I don’t want? I don’t want to be like you. ❜

❛ I’m going to marry the first girl that dances with me tonight. ❜

“risky. are you a gambler derek?” meredith fished for information whenever she could, little questions here and there to help her figure out more about his past. 

“don’t be scared. i was wondering if we could spend the night at the trailer tonight? george was complaining he didn’t get much sleep this week.” his trailer was perfect, far away from everything else, perfect for extracurricular activities. “not having to deal with my whiny roommates? that would make me very happy.”

DEREK.

“Depends on if the thing is worth gambling for,” his voice cockily cooed. There was something about Meredith Grey that brought out a different side of Derek that he never knew existed. Sure, he was pretty sure of himself and knew what he was doing, but suddenly he was on top of the world and he didn’t want to give it up for anything.

Finally getting everyone to accept her, Lexie was starting to feel like things were falling into place. She had a group of people to support her and care for her and for her to lean on. It was still rocky at times, everyone had their issues and adding another person into your family suddenly was difficult but they worked it out. Lexie had felt a bit lost after her mother passed away but she was finally starting to repair.

“Yes, because I’m sure they’d call you - the attending neurosurgeon - if I need the Heimlich,” Lexie quipped. “If I died? Don’t worry. I am an adult. I will be held fully responsible if I happen to die. It won’t be your problem.” There was a part of her the was telling her that Meredith would probably be relieved but she shrugged that feeling off quickly. “Well, me - being the surprise little sister - I’m currently living in the attic. And we didn’t really plan on doing anything - this is too much information. Trust me, I probably would have also chosen a basement.”

DEREK.

Given the sexual encounters of everyone that lived under the Grey roof, it wasn’t the least bit surprising that Lexie had gotten in on the schedule. Derek had it almost down to a science who was up to what and whom on what nights. It wasn’t as though he rarely cared, but it felt like some sort of responsibility of his to keep track of everyone. It was the man of the house figure that had grown in his past, casting a watchful eye over each and every one of his sisters. And much like them, it seemed that Lexie fell into the same category. She was young and innocent in a mean world, and Derek was trying his best to protect her from it. 

“You’d be surprised,” a laugh followed as she shrugged. “I’ve been called in for a lot weirder things before. You would just make the list,” he couldn’t help but tease. It was that brotherly nature coming through with little or no concentration to it. Caring was a trap, but it already seemed like he was creating the perfect spot for Lexie in their family. “The attic seems... nice,” his words attempted to coat the forgetfulness he had on her and her living opportunities. “Worst places have been slept in, especially around here. Just try to keep your, er- activities to a low volume.”

Damn it. Lexie wasn’t sure if she thought the words or said them. Damn it damn it damn it. Lexie stared down to the small viewing window that revealed a small pink plus sign. I can’t be pregnant. Yes she could. She was two weeks late. She was never late. Even so, she still spent every day trying to convince herself that her period was coming. It wasn’t. She had all the symptoms. She was horribly fatigued and nauseous to the point that even the thought of food - which she would usually take comfort in in times of stress - made her want to puke. Not to mention the bloating and her boobs - oh her boobs - they were so sore they couldn’t even be touched. Which made sex with Mark far more difficult and uncomfortable than she was used to or she was okay with. And suddenly - and most strangely - she craved apples. And Lexie hated apples.

She hadn’t even realized she was crying until she looked up in the mirror and saw tears rolling down her face. A knock at the door caused her to jump and scramble to throw the test in her back pocket in attempt to hide it. She wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself before she opened the door. “Yeah?”

Just as the door opened, his eyes glanced upon the tear ridden face. By the looks of it, Lexie took on the same facade many of Mark’s exes did when they found out that they were, well, exes. As he pursed his lips, his eyes narrowed a bit, forgetting about the shower that he had been waiting a good half an hour for. 

“Are you alright?”

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just ask me - Mark Sloan - plastics god if I could handle this surgery.” Mark always had an air of cockiness following him around. He emitted it like a strong cologne. You could practically smell it on him everywhere he went. And depending on the situation it was a good or bad thing. “We’re not becoming cocky we’re good.” There was a certain irony in his statement but he shrugged it off. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a groundbreaking surgery happening in your OR today. You’re stuck with tumor removals and I’m giving someone a new face.”

DEREK.

“So we’ve retired titan for god now?” one brow rose over the other, a sip of coffee to hold back any other comments he could have ripped out. Derek didn’t quite know how Mark was able to hold the ego he did, but at the same time it was somewhat inspiring. It was that which made Derek feel like he could do anything somedays, and for that, he was truly blessed to have Mark Sloan in his presence. “Here’s to hoping,” he shrugged before shaking his head to the following words from his friend. “Tumor removals are far from boring. It’s a strategic surgery that has saved countless lives that come to my table.” He continued on, finding that bit of confidence he had stored up in the high hair of his. “The face would be nothing without the brain, Sloan. Don’t forget that.”

“I’ve been thinking…” is all Addison said for quite a while. To be fair, that probably wasn’t the best way to start a conversation, but she had. She’d been thinking a lot lately. Her face was contorted into a twist and blue eyes squinted and pensive in thought. She decided to pull back and join the beginning of the conversation before she moved into the heavy stuff. “I did have surgery. It was cancelled. She ended up going into labor yesterday which completely diminished the need for a scheduled C.” She explained quickly but waved it away.

She stood there for a second, her arms folded sternly in front of her chest. She started off at the opposite wall for a second, stuck in thought before looked down and simultaneously brushed a strand of her red hair behind her ear before she spoke up again. “Do you want kids, Derek?”

DEREK.

“Idle hands are the devil’s playground,” he quickly replied with a short laugh. Whenever Addison was thinking, especially in this way, something wasn’t even close to good. And though he knew it, Derek attempted to keep a short smile across his lips as though that would help the situation at hand. Call it dumb luck, but he had nothing more than hope pounding against his chest. “I guess sometimes you can’t even schedule fate,” the words rolled off his tongue as he pursed his lips together. The human anatomy kept him baffled and even more so the one of a woman.

Then, the wickedness came. He had knew it was coming, but not like this. Sure, Derek had always wanted a family, but now it seemed so soon. They were in the hearts of their career, and the thought of kids in that seemed all too messy. “Kids? Well, of course. I’d love to have a family some day. You know that.”

“you do know she would kill you if she heard you saying that, right?” meredith was never the giggling girl, on the contrary, she was the punk girl who hated these girls. but derek did the impossible, he made her giggle and was able to tap into something no one had…. it’s annoying. 

“you know what would make me very happy?” she asks, her eyes glimmering with mischief.

DEREK.

“I’ll take my chances,” he laughed, a bright grin pulling up the corners of his lips. The way she lit up around the hospital was something he wanted to see day by day. It was enough to turn him to a school boy in the light of being a renowned surgeon. That was a bit embarrassing, but with her around, nothing else seemed to matter. So here they were, acting out the love story of their lives in a stairwell and somehow that seemed to be fairly blinded.