Postal Valhalla

"I COULD just buy these from your Dad's shop, you know," Princess Gnarlo stated.

"I know," Fluffdusti replied. "In fact, I wasn't sure WHY you came to me. But then I realized… you wish to appear in public as a girl as little as possible, am I right?"

"I know they don't all follow me for my sparkling personality," Princess Gnarlo said. "In fact, Krahl can't stand me; it's his parents that told him to become my lackey. So… becoming a girl for a few months, that's a pretty good loyalty test, don't you think?"

"Too good," Fluffdusti replied.

"How so?"

"This doesn't sound like something you would come up with yourself."

"You know who Buggs, Krahl and Osdolt are, right?" asked Princess Gnarlo.

Fluffdusti frowned. "Those are your henchmen?" Her eyes widened. "You're going to force them to become girls?"

"I'm not forcing anything!" Gnarlo insisted. "I'm just… giving them the opportunity…."

Fluffdusti sighed. "I doubt those boys want to be girls any more than you did."

Fluffdusti's eyes rolled. "Gnarlo," she said, "I don't trust you any further than I can throw you…."

"That's a horrible thing to say to your future king," Gnarlo growled.

"I don't trust your mother, if it comes to that," added Fluffdusti. "And how do you know what these bracelets are worth?"

Gnarlo looked haughty. "As the Crown Prince… ess of Grymwald, it's my job to know what comes out of Wyrmhaven Deep Dungeon."

Fluffdusti's eyes narrowed. "What would you need with those?" she asked. "You've already got a T-Boi bracelet, for when it's time to change back."

"None of your business!" Gnarlo snarled. "Why do you care? I'm offering you way more than they're worth!"

"What you do with them," said Fluffdusti, "affects me, Dumbass! I'm not helping you transform others against their will, just for your own amusement."

Prince Gnarlo Gravelfoot was quite handsome by goblin standards. His nose was large, he stood over four feet, and he had a mop of goth black hair. The Princess version was equally attractive, with long black hair in twin braids.

Princess Gnarlo sat across from Fluffdusti Sandwyrm. Between them was a large sack.

"What's this?" asked Fluffdusti.

Several days after the incident with the T-Gurl bracelet, Prince Gnarlo asked to meet privately with Fluffdusti.

"It's Princess Gnarlo, actually," the female Gnarlo said. "For the next three months, please refer to me by feminine pronouns - she and her."

Fluffdusti nodded. "If that's what you wish."

Princess Gnarlo grimaced. "It's what Mother wants."

"And what Mother wants, Mother gets?"

After they left the throne room, Raven asked, "Does this mean that Prince Gnarlo is stuck as Princess Gnarlo for three entire months?"

"It certainly seems that way," Shrillikina replied. "Around here, whatever Queen Gravelfoot says is law."

"I thought the king made the law," said Raven.

"Although this affair is a terrible misfortune for my firstborn son," said the queen, "I imagine he can learn a valuable lesson from it. Don't you agree, Dear?"

The king stirred for the first time. "Oh yes, Dear. You are quite correct."

"It makes sense that extra caution is warranted, when dealing with the future king of our clan. Do you not also agree?"

"Indeed," replied the king.

"Shrillikina Ratnose," said the queen, "daughter of Pyrrosea Ratnose who is the secretary to dungeon CEO Pax Mitemouth. You were not summoned by us. Why are you here?"

Shrillikina curtsied. "I am here for moral support for my friends, Your Highness."

The queen raised an eyebrow. "I see. And do you agree with your friend that transforming back too quickly is potentially dangerous?"

"Is this theory of yours," asked the queen, "based on personal experience?"

"Well… no," Fluffdusti replied. "I am merely being cautious. After all, there's the The Legend of Slimeball Wortbottom…."

"Ah, yes, Silifea Wortbottom," the queen replied. "The legendary adventurer from the early days who claimed to have become stuck as a woman. She was my ancestor, you know."

"I did not know that, Your Highness."

The queen turned to Fluffdusti.

"You are Fluffdusti Sandwyrm, daughter of Dustbunni Sandwyrm and Molden Sandwyrm, who run Dustbunni's Cursed Items Junk Shop."

Fluffdusti curtsied. "Your Highness," she replied.

"You," said the queen, "are the one who told my son Gnarlo that he would need to remain a girl for a month?"

Fluffdusti swallowed hard. "I… did, Your Highness."

"You claim there is a danger in using a T-Boi Bracelet to swap back too soon?"

Raven couldn't help herself. "Do you mean… you're going to force Prince Gnarlo…."

The queen laughed lightly. "Goodness, no! My son Gnarlo is the firstborn prince. He will one day become king. What good would it do me to make him a princess?"

Fluffdusti, Raven, and Shrillikina were led into the throne room. Upon two thrones sat King Gluup Gravefoot and Queen Claylia Gravelfoot of the Grymwald goblin clan.

The queen indicated Raven. "Are you the wolfkin girl who was previously a boy?"

Raven curtsied. "Yes, Your Highness. I am Raven Softpaw."

"And you are fully female? You are capable of giving birth?"

Raven's eyes grew wide. "Um… yes, I am."

After school, Fluffdusti and Raven were summoned to meet with King and Queen Gravelfoot.

"Well, you're in deep shit now," muttered Lumpikith.

"I've done nothing wrong," replied Fluffdusti. "Queen Claylia will know that."

"If it's okay," said Shrillikina, "I'll come with you for moral support."

"What about me?" asked Lumpikith.

"There will be no need," replied Shrillikina, "to punch King Gravelfoot in the nose…."

"Why doesn't Gnarlo know about the T-Gurl and T-Boi bracelets already?" asked Raven. "I mean, my parents knew what they were."

"Gnarlo's an idiot," said Lumpikith.

"But isn't he supposed to be the next king?" asked Raven.

"King Gluup Gravelfoot," said Fluffdusti, "does not run Wyrmhaven Deep Dungeon. That's handled by the committee."

"But yes," added Shrillikina, "it's part of his kingdom so he really should know what the dungeon produces."