Matcha

because really in these times i won't receive comfort. not with the people I know. the person who's usually there for me is gone, from chatting on the daily, to nothing for a month.

I'm not important, i never will be.

i can't trust my family, i never could.

maybe i should disappear, maybe i should run away, maybe i should succumb, maybe i should grab my house keys and scratch my wrists until they're all red and sensitive to even a hair's touch

maybe i should send a video, too. to prove that nobody cares, nobody will help, nobody will bat an eye at my distress

because nobody cares when i talk about anything else anyway

I'm replaceable, expendable, unimportant, useless.

A liability.

A waste of time.

A background character.

"You could be somebody’s everything. You could write a book that a 13 year old reads then looks back on with so much joy and fondness for the rest of their life because they’re so happy you wrote it. You could smile at someone on the worst day of their life, helping them get through it. You could form a friendly connection with a cashier at your grocery store, letting them actually look forward to something at work every week. You could make so many people laugh because you are you.

Just by existing we’re positively impacting those around us, for you what is just being polite to a stranger in public could mean the world to that stranger.

the world is filled with so many people and so many different stories that follow those people.

So many people wish for their story to be known and seen and wish to see the stories of others.

Living is so hard, I know it is, but someone somewhere wants desperately to know your story because you brought them joy, or because you just seemed like a lovely person.

and you deserve to be able to see that person again and tell that story.

you deserve to be remembered not as a statistic but as an individual person, a person who is loved and loved so many people.

even if you don’t believe someone out there loves you, and if you can’t think of someone then I’ll be that person.

I love you. And you deserve that love."

-❣️