I remember when you texted me the most beautiful message. You wrote:Â âwe are queen and king. One day you will be the best psychologist and I will work with music and we will just be happy togetherâ. And now, a year after, I am actually studying psychology and I canât get this message out of my head. I want to text you, call you, tell you, that I did it, I did it and I want to have you next to me. It has been a year since we broke up. I am on the other side of the world than you and I still cannot get you out of my head. I need you here, I want you here. We were so similar and that is scary. Why do I want you back? I am saying it out loud. Our relationship was abusive and that is the reason why this hurts so much. I love you and I hate you at the same time and I hate myself, that I love you, because I know how much you hurted me and how you enjoyed it. I hate you and I love you, still....