Godiva Prince$$

In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.

The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

Tips for Manifesting

Law of Attraction isn’t a potion or magic, it’s a way of life. You are using LOA all day every day whether you realize it or not. It’s as constant as oxygen or gravity.

Understand that LOA is a mirror that mirrors back to us what we feel and believe, NOT what we want or are asking for.

So if you are asking for a better relationship, more money, a great job, a new car or whatever - LOA will deliver to you what you BELIEVE about those things every time. 

It difficult to think about what we want without also thinking about the fact that we don’t have it which keeps us from manifesting it in our lives, so often we can manifest what we want by not thinking about it at all. How? By choosing to be happy - ridiculously happy.

Below are my tips to manifest whatever it is you’re wanting to experience in your life.

Meditate - DAILY

Spend 15 minutes twice a day sitting quietly, undisturbed and feeling grateful for how awesome your life is.

Daily meditation is not an option.

Refuse to think thoughts that make you feel crappy. Do this by creating 2-3 ‘Go To Thoughts’ 

Go to thoughts are thoughts that make you happy every time you think about them.

This is easier to do when you’re a good mood. It’s damn near impossible to think of a good thought when you’re pissed off or depressed, so come up with 2-3 go to thoughts when you’re already in a good mood so you can use them later when you need them.

When you catch yourself having a crappy thought, swap it out immediately for a happy go-to thought.

Refuse to hang out with people that make you feel crappy.

Remember that opposing energies cannot occupy the same space so if you’re around someone that makes you feel crappy, know that one of 3 things will happen every single time.

Your energy will lower - making you a match to them

Their energy will raise - making them a match to you

One of you will leave the area - win/win

LOA doesn’t make mistakes, if crappy people are consistently in your life, it’s because you’re a vibrational match to them. 

Know that how you feel is a DIRECT correlation to what you’re thinking about. Every time.

You’re not upset or worried about what is going on in front of your eyes right this minute, you’re worried and upset about thoughts going on between your ears.

Crappy thoughts = Crappy life

Happy thoughts = Happy life

KNOW that what you want is a done deal.

Knowing is different than hoping or wishing. Hoping and wishing means you’re waiting to see it before you believe it.

Knowing is believing it before you see it.

But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job

But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.

“Business theory teaches us one important lesson,” says the instructress. Always thoroughly research the desires of the consumer. Apply this principle when you search for a rich man. On a first date there’s one key rule: never talk about yourself. Listen to him. Find him fascinating. Find out his desires. Study his hobbies; then change yourself accordingly.

Never wear jewelry on a first date, the man should think you’re poor. Make him want to buy you jewelry. Arrive in a broken-down car: make him want to buy you a smarter one.

HOW TO GET A GIFT FROM A MAN

“Today we will learn the algorithm for receiving presents,” the instructor tells her students. When you desire a present from a man, place yourself at his left, irrational, emotional side. His right is his rational side: you stand to his right if you’re discussing business projects. But if you desire a present, position yourself by his left. If he is sitting in a chair crouch down, so he feels taller, like you’re a child. Squeeze your vaginal muscles. Yes, your vaginal muscles. This will make your pupils dilate, making you more attractive. When he says something, nod; this nodding will induce him to agree with you. And finally, when you ask for your car, your dress, whatever it is you want, stroke his hand. Gently. Now repeat: Look! Nod! Stroke!

The girls chant back in unison: Look. Nod. Stroke… Look, Nod, Stroke.

HOW TO SPOT A SPONSOR 

“There are three types of men,” she tells her students. The creatives. The analysts. We’re not interested in those. The ones we want are ‘the possessors’, and she repeats the tell-all, prison-intimating phrase, a man behind whom you feel like behind a wall of stone. We all know how to spot them. The strong, silent men. They wear dark suits or nothing fancy at all.There is no in between. They have deep voices. They mean what they say. These men are interested in control. They don’t want a forceful woman. They have enough of that already. They want a girl who’ll be a pretty flower.

CHOOSE YOUR PERSONALITY ACCORDING TO SPONSOR

“I thought at first he wanted a bitch. So I played that role. Now I’m not sure, maybe he doesn’t want a bitch. Maybe he wants a nice girl. You know, sometimes I get confused, I can’t even tell which one I am, the nice girl or the bitch.” This isn’t said dejectedly but as always softly detached, like she thinks about herself in the third person. 

FREESTYLING

Bars/Upscale lounges/Clubs:Oliona walks lightly to the front of the line. She’s on the VIP list. At the beginning of every year she pays the bouncer several thousand dollars to make sure she can always be let in, a necessary tax for her profession.

Some sit by the bar, careful to just order Voss water and thus provoke a Sponsor to invite them for a drink.“Ha, they’re so naïve,” says Oliona. Everyone knows that trick by now.She orders a cocktail and sushi: “I always pretend I don’t need anything from a man.That gets them in.”

Go to an expensive area of town-continues the instructress. “Stand with a map and pretend you are lost. A wealthy man might approach to help.”

HOW TO REACT TO CRITICISM

“You should see the eyes of the girls back home. They’re deadly jealous,” says Oliona. ‘Oh, so your accent’s changed, you speak like a Muscovite now,’ they say. Well, fuck them: that just makes me proud.

You will need a thick skin.People will call you a gold digger,a whore,bitch and those are the kindest terms you will hear. You are going to have to know yourself very well, because you are not going to recognize yourself by what you hear people saying about you. And if you were not born to a certain amount of wealth to begin with, or are uncomfortable with wealth, you will face even more resistance and criticism. 

WHAT NOT TO DO

“Everything you see in this flat is his; I don’t own anything,” says Oliona, peering at her own apartment as if it’s just a stage set, as if it’s someone else who lives there.

Make sure everything you get from your sponsor is in your name-cars,apartment,gifts.Never make this mistake!Cleverly insert how your ex-sponsor who was very possessive and stalkerish demanded you return all your gifts when you broke up with him and you thought that was absolutely ridiculous and very immature.

HOW TO BE DISCREET

“But how can you meet with others guys?” I ask. “Doesn’t your present sponsor keep tabs on you?”

Delete all message and call history,Always meet other sponsors on weekdays,Don’t give out personal info,Keep your mouth shut i.e don’t tell anyone your business,Don’t leave any evidence i.e always pay cash,Call your sponsors by the same name i.e daddy,Learn how to be an expert liar,When caught have a lie ready(the more simple your lie,the better).And lastly NO PICTURES with sponsors.

LAST TIPs

Remember love doesn’t pay the bills,open you up to powerful job opportunities(If you choose to work of course),take you on a last minute weekend trip to the Bahamas ,pay off your student loans,give you a black card for shopping sprees with no budget and it certainly doesn’t buy you a rolls royce as a birthday gift.Always think with your head and not your heart.

**And If she loses her sponsor she’ll just start again, reinvent herself, and press reload**

-Excerpted from Peter Pomerantsev’s new book, Nothing Is True And Everything Is Possible: The Surreal Heart Of The New Russia (PublicAffairs, November 11).

I have been with my current SD Red for almost a year and a half now. We have been through a lot of ups and downs because he is married. But I think our arrangement has developed into a strong friendship and relationship. Because of Red, I have been able to travel to Punta Cana with friends, New Orleans, San Francisco, Florida, and soon Canada. I’ve been able to have plastic surgery (breast implants), get a new car (soon), pay for school courses, help out my family, spoil my friends, pay off my credit cards twice now, been given gifts (MacBook Air, Beats, Prada bag, LV), etc. I’m extremely thankful for everything I have received from my SD.

So I wanted to share some tips on how to hustle to get the most out of your arrangement and also some tips on maintaining your hustle as a long-term sugar baby. Most sugar arrangements only last a few months because any number of reasons (SDs’ work schedules and work traveling conflicts, age and maturity differences, differing allowance expectations, finding other SBs/SDs, SB choosing to date traditionally or settle down, etc.). Hopefully you dolls find these insights helpful for your sugar hustle :)

COMPANIONSHIP:

-Time with your SD should be stress-free and carefree. Your SD probably has a lot of stressors in his life (work, kids, wife), and he looks to you to be his “escape.” I remember one of the last times I hung out with Red that he was visibly disappointed that he had to leave me early to go run an errand his wife requested. Being with a sugar baby means being with someone who can make you forget about your real everyday life. Do your best to be positive, happy, and funny when you’re with your SD. He has enough drama in his real life. I’ve never gotten visibly angry with my SD because he’s said before how his wife can be a bitch and has anger issues. The last thing you want to do is remind him of his wife.

-But do be real with your SD. Red and I share similar family dysfunctions when it comes to our families. We open up to each other and discuss family issues. I read about another SB who basically said you need to be happy 24/7 around your SD, and I don’t think that’s always the case. You’re a real person who has real issues too. You can’t be expected to be a robot, you have to be authentic. I’m not saying to make your SD your personal therapist and have crying sessions. But sharing some of the problems in your life shows you’re a real person and this communication connects you two emotionally. Relating to your SD despite your age, maybe race, and socioeconomic differences can only help strengthen your bond.

KEEPING THINGS SPICY SEXUALLY:

-Buy lingerie and model it for your SD. You get to be your sugar daddy’s ultimate fantasy. Chances are, any sex is great sex to men (lets be real here). But you want to ensure you keep your sugar daddy satisfied so he doesn’t go looking for a side sugar baby, or drop you altogether. I like buying inexpensive Yandy lingerie online and surprising my SD with outfits. Send your SD “sneak peak” or “preview” pictures to indulge him and get him really excited for your next meet. Men are visual creatures. Try out different looks (school girl outfit, really trashy looking body stockings, teddys, bras and undies) to keep your SD on his toes and intrigued with what you’ll be wearing next. Don’t wear lingerie each time you see your SD though, you naked works just as well sometimes.

-Research and practice. Read AskMen or Cosmo (sometimes questionable) or the Kama Sutra for new sex positions or sex tips. You can also bring sex toys into the bedroom (whips, handcuffs, vibrators, dildos) to keep things interesting. If you’re not into sex toys, try different flavored lubes, whip cream, syrups. Just be sure to clean up after! You don’t want to leave any marks or residue on your SD when he has to leave to head home. 

-Give good blowjobs. I cannot stress having a good head game enough. Men will literally turn to putty in your hands. Watch porn or read online technique posts for inspiration.

-Practice safe sex. My SD and I still use condoms when we have penetrative sex. Sometimes I get the feeling that he doesn’t want to, but he always does. You can’t risk your sexual health for any amount of money. A lot of men from the older generation seem to be uninformed about current STIs, birth control, etc. So educate yourself and educate your SD too.

-Dress to impress. Sometimes you can be sexy without even trying. I wore fishnet tights underneath a tight skirt with a loose top on a date with my SD. I thought my outfit was fairly relaxed. But Red said he couldn’t stop staring at my legs and still thinks about that outfit to this day. You can be unintentionally sexy and leave a lasting impression with just one outfit piece.

KEEPING THINGS INTERESTING CONVERSATIONALLY:

-People love to talk about themselves. I’ve taken a few psychology and sociology courses and I learned that people are very egocentric by nature. So asking your SD an open-ended question about HIMself, HIS work, HIS family, HIS hobbies, his cars, his interests etc., and then asking follow-up questions off that is a sure way to keep the conversation flowing.

-There are always safe topics. If you can’t seem to find the words, you can always refer back to safe topics like your day, his day, your school, his work, his family, your family, summer plans, plans together, talk about the food you’re eating, weather. Or just smile and flirt if all else fails! 

-Deeper conversations show maturity and intelligence. I also like to have somewhat deeper conversations with my SD about policy (minimum wage, cost of college, wealth disparity in this country), politics, family, relationships, marriage, religion, etc. People are complex individuals and I just enjoy learning about people’s thoughts and lives. It’s fun for me to pick the brain of someone twice my age who is successful, a white male, intelligent (Ivy league educated), and married. 

-Cherry picking is a conversational technique. It’s pretty useful in keeping a conversation going. You can read more about it here. I think I first read about cherry picking in a psychology/dating book. You’ll have much better active listening skills once you practice this too.

HOW I HUSTLE:

-The “planting the seed” hustle. I was able to get my SD to agree to a boob job, and now a new $20k car among other great gifts by “planting the seed.“ You don’t want to come right out and ask your SD for something big out of nowhere. I wouldn’t plan a whole speech or sitting your SD down at dinner and asking him point blank. He will feel ambushed and most likely say no. I would first bring up what I wanted casually and jokingly in conversation while we were having fun at dinner, or in private. You have to choose the “right” moment to bring it up initially and then continue to “water” and “feed” what you planted in his mind :)

-The “benefits you too” hustle. For my boob job, I didn’t even know I wanted one until I thought it would be cool to get big boobs one day. I decided to bring it up with my SD while we were being intimate (it’s hard to say no to a girl sucking your penis). My SD said he would think about it, but he soon said yes. I was able to sell him on me getting boobs because he gets to enjoy them too! My SD even said that he really liked the idea of buying me boobs because he got to be with the young/innocent (aka flat chested me), and then the bombshel/slutty (aka big boobed me). I also pointed out that getting me a car benefits my SD because I’ll be able to drive to him now when we meet. He agreed and said he didn’t think of the benefit to him before. The best sales people make you think you need to buy whatever it is they’re selling. So hustle smart, not hard.

LASTLY… -No doesn’t mean no. My SD has told me no before when I’ve asked for things. But no doesn’t necessarily mean no. My SD has changed his mind before on things I’ve asked for. It never hurts to ask again, and the worst thing your SD can say is no. Do not be resentful because your SD will be as generous as you are with him. 

Are you ready to give craigslist a try? Here are some ads that I have used in the past that worked for me. Pick any of them to choose from.

1. Undeniable Moments- (Insert City Here)

Would you like for me to spice up your night? Lets go out to dinner and lets have a great time. I have went on a few dates but I felt not only something was missing but also my time being wasted. Have you ever felt that way before? Would you like to meet a woman who is exciting and that you hit it off with mutually?

I would like to be spoiled.

2. It’s Never Too Late For Happy Hour- (Insert City Here)

You’re in the middle of a hectic project and you would like to go out for an evening or two. You are in fear of going alone. You don’t have to be afraid anymore as this is when I come to the picture. Your personal social butterfly is here to rescue you. Do you accept this challenge?

3. 777, Jackpot- (Insert City Here)

I am an attractive young lady. My goal is to meet a gentleman and I just hope that chivalry still exists. He must be well traveled as i love to talk about different destinations. I am interested in art, golf, and trying the best restaurants that (insert city) has to offer.

What you’ll learn about me is that I am an elegant individual with a sense of style.

Please be at least 35-55, as I prefer my men older.

4. Lonely Lunches & Dull Dinners- (Insert City Here)

I enjoy to be your oasis, you can forget the issues of everyday life in. I will be happy to experience times of adventure with you, and discover new worlds with you. When we are together, I’ll make you the center of your universe. I will be devoted to satisfying your desires. Just let the rhythm flow through your mind, body and spirit.

I’m not opposed to refreshing yet exciting experiences that make me grow as a person and evolve my professional possibilities. My primary goal is to find a gentleman who is sincere, honest and charitable.

5. Fountain Of Youth- (Insert City Here)

My ideal gentleman is someone who is financially secure as well as intelligent, older and knows how to keep a woman happy. If you are interested in leading more about this exciting opportunity let’s go out for drinks.

6. Discrete Daddy Wanted- (Insert City Here)

A little bit about myself, I am nice, have a bubbly personality, not to mention, I am a spicy, sassy, sweet, sexy petite mixed creature. I would like to be taken care of. Does it sound like you? If so, please email me. Gracias!

7. Establish An Agreement- (Insert City Here)

I enjoy the company of ambitious, successful, gentlemen. I thrive when expectations are clear and well defined in the beginning letting the rest take care of itself as it all unfolds.

I am seeking a gentleman who desires the benefits of companionship, without the entanglements of a traditional relationship. I would like to be spoiled and pampered.

8. The Ambiance- (Insert City Here)

People tell me I have an exotic look. Natural beauty by day, and dressed to the nines at night. I love the finest things life has to offer and will not settle for less. I am ready for fun and ultimately looking for one person to share my life with. I am attracted to powerful men. Honesty and loyalty are very important to me. I love black tie events, the opera, movies, both domestic and international travel, exotic/luxury cars, golfing, skiing and shopping. I believe in chivalry, romance, and sensuality.

I know what I want and when I find it, I will be off the market.

I spend my free time searching for the man of my dreams. He is worldly, educated, classy, fun, and sexy. A man that enjoys taking care of himself and the woman he is crazy about. A man that loves to travel, both planned and spontaneous.

9. Intelligence Is The Ultimate Aphrodisiac- (Insert City Here)

Don’t open the bottle of wine just yet. Just wait. Aren’t you missing something? No, I’m not talking about the appetizers or the main dish. You are missing, me.

My world is rich and diverse. My standards are high. I reserve the right to say no to invitations when appropriate.

I am most definitely not opposed to seeking an arrangement with a gentleman who is diplomatic, refined, exceptional and a philanthropic. You be will be impressed with my confidence along with my presence. I can’t wait to meet you.

10. Dinner With A Beautiful Woman- (Insert City Here)

I am a woman who enjoys having a man truly be a man and a provider. I like spending my time with a mature individual who knows how to treat a woman, and he knows how to make the most of each moment we spend together.

I am seeking a successful man who is interested in exploring a relationship that is mutually beneficial. I want to meet an individual who is open to new things and enjoying quality time.

After you have posted your ad, it’s time to play the waiting game.

You’ve got a response! What’s next? If it sounds intriguing, you can either do two things:

1. Send a personalized email about yourself and what you are looking for OR you can use my example spam message but of course you would have to reword it and it goes like this:

“Thank you so much for responding to my ad. I would love to get to know you better and hopefully you’ll give me the opportunity to do so. I hope you don’t mind my age as I am _____ years old, however I do consider myself as a young face with an old soul, therefore, I am comfortable in any setting. If you don’t mind me asking what exactly is your occupation because I do consider myself as an entrepreneur. I can’t wait to hear back from you.”

After you send that and he replies again, that means you are in there for scheduling a date. Remember to agree to meet at a public place.

Bonus tips: You are allowed to post at least 5 ads a day, so please post, never feel discouraged when they flag it.

1. Be very firm when they ask you what exactly you are looking for. When they ask, do not be shy. Tell him exactly this: At this time, I am looking for a gentleman who isn’t opposed to exploring a relationship that is rather mutually beneficial to as I have done something like this before and the experience was great to where I would like to try again. If he doesn’t know what that means, do not delete his email. Explain to him that in other words you are seeking a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement.