we can't stand to be apart.

my name is yuki, and you may have known me as @/tcrtarus.

i was in the hp/mythology/aesth fandom for a couple of years before school ran into me like a truck, but now i’m back!

i’m starting as a clean slate, with all my posts (except my originals) deleted, and following no one.

i’d love to get to know more of you, and maybe follow accounts that suit my taste so i can start an active blog again. send me a message/ask!

please please please help me out and reblog this, and i will try my best to return the favour tenfold in the future.

bye for now,

what do houses stand for?

is it to cast you away, away into a place where you’d be more comfortable, in a likely place to make better friends, in a sea of people?

do they tell you it’s where you belong, that it’s wrong that you’d want to be somewhere else?

do they tell you to look away when you long for another kind of love at another table, another colour, another kind of belief in their heart.

what do houses stand for?

does it mean unity, that you stand as one, while you want to be with someone else? can you really be yourself in a flood of people alike, to really grow?

is it where you can be your best self, to grow to your fullest potential?

i’m a ravenclaw, but i’m not wise enough. why am i here?

i’m a gryffindor, but i don’t want to step up to the challenge. why am i so afraid?

i’m a hufflepuff, but i can’t find anything to aspire for. why am i unable to dream?

i’m a slytherin, but there aren’t any tricks up my sleeve. why am i so simple-minded?

perhaps you’re a ravenclaw, and you’re still learning. and you want to learn. which is all that matters. one day you will have the whole world in your hands. create a legacy, and leave the planet with legends.

perhaps you’re a gryffindor, and you’d rather protect the ones that are left behind. that’s okay. we need a knight in black armor to care for the ones who aren’t strong enough. to be a shadow when the enemies light blind our eyes.

perhaps you’re a hufflepuff, and you’re still searching. there’s a billion stars in the sky, and you just haven’t found the sun. maybe you’ve been staring at the moon for too long. the sun is right behind you. it always has been.

perhaps you’re a slytherin, and there’s everything to share. you want to share, to let everyone know that there are these brilliant things in the world. hope that they’re not really alone. not like you were.

what do houses stand for? is it who you are? is it what you want? is it what you aspire for?

is it the silence as you walk towards the stool,

or is it the courage to ask why,

or the acceptance as you walk away from the hat,

or the pounding of your heart as your receive applause,

or the swell of pride in your chest and the tears in your eyes?

i want to know why.

why we are who we are.

why we are divided by four.

one-shot: fremione

word count: 1461

harry birthday, anina! ♡ (june 17th, 2017)

the sundown series. night four.

“why did you leave me?”

she asks in a worried tone, her mary janes scuffed and muddied from running in the fields. he has a sheepish grin on his face, his cheeks reddening. behind his back are some hand-picked flowers and a few overgrown weeds, straight from the earth.

“george isn’t as fun as you,” she says, a blush rising to her ears as she looks at her feet. “i like you more.”

“hermione, you’re adorable.” he ruffles her hair. “for you,” he says, and her eyes light up in delight as she takes the flowers from his hands.

“oh. that’s where you were. i’m sorry for doubting you.”

“that’s okay. i will never leave you.”

“why did you leave me?”

he asks, a frown on his face as he sits on a bench, beneath the night sky.

“ron and harry needed my help,” she says, and she holds out a box overflowing with delicious food. “forgive me. i got you something while i was inside.” she smiles as she sees a grin spreading across his lips.

“and you promise that i’m your favourite after ron and harry?” fred teases, lighthearted.

“yes,” hermione laughs.

“ok, and before george, right?”

“don’t worry,” she smiles, leaning in. her eyes catch the sparkle in the moonlight. “i like you the most.”

“i’m sorry for doubting you.”

“that’s okay,” she laughs. “i will never leave you.”

“why did you leave me?”

she asks, her breath caught in anger and fear. “you could have been hurt!”

“hermione, i’m older than you. i can handle myself.”

“but fred,” she says. “look.” she gestures at the chaos around them, spells flying and wizards casting left and right. “it’s dangerous.”

“it’s not the first time i’ve fought in a battle, hermione. you need to trust me.”

“i do. i just don’t want you to get hurt.”

he wraps his arms around her small frame, giving her a gentle kiss on the head. she fits in perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece he’s had in his pocket all along.

“i know. but you need to trust that i can handle myself. we’re both brilliant wizards, aren’t we?”

“we are... i’m sorry for doubting you.”

“that’s okay,” he assures her. “i’ll never leave you.”

“why did you leave me?”

he asks, and he runs towards hermione and embraces her. “i told you to stay where you were!” tears streak down his face as he holds her tightly. he rocks her, slowly but surely, trying to make sure of himself that she’s still alive.

“they needed me,” she says, and she clutches his robes like it’s a lifeline.

“who? who needed you? i want you to be safe, hermione.”

“harry. ron. they all needed me. everyone.”

“you can’t throw yourself in danger like that, you could die.”

“you think that i don’t know that?” hermione erupts, and the strong facade she held onto before just falls as she launches closer into fred’s arms. “i know every single day that i could die, and leave you behind,” she says.

they walk together and sit in a secluded spot, away from all the violence and the blood. she finds her way comfortably in his lap, cuddling deep inside his arms and into the warmth she couldn’t find anywhere else.

“will you miss me when i’m gone?” she whispers into his chest, and her arms snake around his waist in attempt to hold him closer.

“you’re not going anywhere,” he says. “you have a whole life laid out in front of you. with me,” he assures her, soothing, running his fingers through her hair and wiping away the trail of tears down her cheek with his thumb. “we’ll fight through this. i swear.”

and in that instant, a deadly spell was cast and they hear screams echoing throughout the great hall.

“do you promise?”

“yeah. i do.”

“promise me, fred,” hermione whispers, and she reaches to touch his face; his eyes, his nose, his mouth. her gaze lingers on his lips and she pulls him in to kiss him softly, full of love and tenderness.

“i promise,” fred says, breathlessly.

“i’ll come back. i will always be there for you, but i need to go. now.” she says, after a yell of despair she swear is neville’s. “they need me.”

“go on now. i’m sorry i doubted you.”

“that’s okay. i’ll never leave you.” she turns her heel and walks into the catastrophe.

“you weren’t supposed to leave me.”

she says, the fight behind her finally finished, but this battle before her will forever be a mess. he’s still breathing, she tells herself. his heart is still beating and his hand is still holding hers. loosely, but still. they are together.

“you promised we would fight together.”

she brings his hand towards her lips, leaving a fluttering kiss on each finger and a hope of survival.

“if you love me, you’ll stay, won’t you?”

she asks, another hand resting on his chest, then stroking his face, trying to remember what he looked like with the flowers behind his back and a twinkle in his eye.

“look what happened to you. i told you to stay,” she laughs harshly, a hitch in her throat as a hiccup leaves her mouth, tears beginning to fall from her eyes and leaving marks on the bloodied ground.

“you say i’m always right, but you never listen, don’t you?” she says, a knot in her stomach and she can’t feel a thing. no emotions, no physical aspect of anything in front of her. the ache in her chest creates short breathes and she wants to feel happy, be happy because the war is over and everyone can go on with their lives again.

but she can’t.

because she would run through the world with flaming torches and set the planet on fire if it meant for fred to come back.

“stay,” she says. “stay, stay, stay, stay.” each time, it grows more urgent with a new wave of desperation settling into her skin and the cruel face of reality finally coming to light.

“don’t go,” she murmurs, holding him close.

the looks on the weasley members are heartbreaking, reeling with sadness for another piece of family, but also mourning for what kind of future he could have had.

another future that fred and hermione could have established, gone and forever lost. the dreams and the hopes and the puzzles laid in front of them will now forever be incomplete because one piece of the puzzle is now lost. gone. and will never come back.

“FRED!” hermione’s voice broke, and the sobs came and then the anger.

“you have to come back.”

“we still have so much more to do.”

“you can teach me more of your pranks.”

“we have so much more time to do anything we wanted.”

hermione laughs softly. “we can even take over the world if you wanted to.”

“i’m sorry.”

“i’m sorry i couldn’t save you.”

“i’m sorry.”

the tears stream freely down her face, and she tastes the salt through her lips. she presses a hand to his heart, one more time.

and there isn’t a beat.

“NO,” she screams, and a clench of pain shoots through her lungs and all of a sudden she can’t breathe. she gasps for air, and then the memories of her and fred come rushing back.

hermione rolling her eyes at fred’s attempt to ask her out, rejecting him three times before she finally said yes. he brought her to a muggle amusement park, where she had the most fun in a long while. she came back to hogwarts with a stuffed animal as big as she.

fred holding her hand during dinner in the great hall, while the rest of their friends were swooning and whistling. fred only looked at her. he looked at her like the universe was in her eyes.

hermione and fred beneath the bright stars, a night after he convinced her to sneak out of the school. they sat together under one blanket, holding each other close.

“i know you love me,” hermione says, a last brush of a hand through fred’s flaming red hair, a last touch of his lips.

“and i should have loved you sooner.”

the words barely escape her lips, but they do.

“i’m sorry i doubted you. i’m sorry i doubted your love.”

“i think i’ll be okay.”

“i’ll never leave you.”

and hours later, they had to drag hermione’s body away from fred’s, her hands trembling like she was eleven again, trying to search for fred in the forest, while he was innocently picking flowers for her.

when the heavens had decided the rain down the shattered souls of the gods, there had been an unimaginable amount of beauty fallen across the earth; in a way that was indescribable.

like fairies in the wind, the pieces of the gods had taken off and forever merged themselves across the globe and into the girls who would one day grow up to be powerful, beautiful, and heavenly.

zeus dances in the heart of a crowd; music blasting through the fields and voices drowning out her emotions until it was all intangible. she’s carefree and having the time of her life, a thin layer of sweat coating her skin. but the air is humid and it’s attracting electricity— static crackling in wavelengths. and all of a sudden, zeus just breaks into hysterics because there are too many things racing through her mind, too many things she wants to forget; her regrets, her sorrows, and her guilt. she’s angry, she’s tired, and she’s unpredictable. her eyes dart in all different directions and there’s this booming thunder in her stomach; the air sputtering in sync with her pulse. and it’s heartbreaking for zeus’ friends to see her like this, because the facade of being wise and strong just falls beneath her, like the weight across her shoulder was too unbearable. but they pick her back, they rise and aid her so she can lead again, because she is fierce, imposing, and made to be a ruler.

poseidon rakes the world in need for more. the beauty she has within herself is not enough for her, and she searches and searches for something she will never have. constantly changing, her eyes flicker colors in exchange with the emotions she’s feeling, a temper so hard to calm like the raging storms of the sea. her mood swings differentiate into so many unexpected personalities yet each and every one of them are brilliant all the same— poseidon, like the god himself, is terrifying yet breathtaking. a girl who holds a piece of poseidon within her will eternally wish that she has more in her hands than she can bear. revenge always sits at the tip of their tongue; and her words so sharp they could part the ocean. playful winks and side smirks are all held dear to poseidon’s heart, but a sneer and a glare are her signatures. she hopes for a day when the world will crumble under her touch, because the waters is already hers.

hades has tired eyes and a tired soul, and she’s just ready for everything to be over with. the days she spends inside are what makes her happy, the time with her other friends in front of a screen, across the world. hades has a stubbornness incomparable to anyone else’s, and the emotions of others have absolutely no effect on her her—  because she knows that she comes first. she has put herself through hell and back, and some days the dizziness of anger and frustration never goes away. but since she is suffering, everyone else around her too must suffer along with her. she is symbolic in a way that she should be feared, but there’s this impeccable beauty around her that causes you to stay close. hades is simply mesmerizing. the burning fire in her eyes and the brush of cold skin that makes you wonder if she really is part of your world. she sinks her claws into unsuspecting hearts, unmoved by their prayers or pleas for mercy. she holds them near, and never lets them go.

drabble: lightning era

word count: 933

the sundown series. night three.

there were many things harry wanted to leave behind, after the war. there were so many times when his heart would just plummet at the sight of an object, robbed of its use.

there were too many things that would cause of rush of tears with just a second look.

because the war took its toll on the wizards and witches, and most fled away without batting an eyelash.

but the ones who stayed didn’t really stay because too many things had changed and home wasn’t really home anymore.

a look at ron would remind harry of the countless times his best friend had risked his life for him, back to the days of being eleven again— and the feeling of being eleven never really left harry. the undeniable emotion of loneliness crept in and somehow harry felt like he had lost everything even when he knew he had nothing in the first place. and some days ron would offer a sandwich or a cup of tea to his best friend while in their months of being twenty, and all of a sudden there’s this pain in ron’s chest because everything was all the same when too much had been stolen from him.

a look at hermione would remind ron of how everyone had fought through their battles and found a shed of light along the way, just enough to reach the end of their journey. he wondered what guided fred into that light— what had held fred with that much love; enough for him to get away? but hermione was there to comfort him, to slowly mend the broken pieces of his heart with just the touch of her fingers. the times when hermione laced her hands into ron’s felt like being seventeen again; the butterflies in her stomach that had never left. and she, too felt like everything was all the same when too much had been stolen from her.

a look at harry would remind hermione of how some warriors fought in battles they never wanted; the battles what were etched upon their skin and engraved in their bones. how everything happened for a reason, and how a butterfly from long ago could cause a hurricane, a hurricane strong enough to drown out even the brightest of stars. and one day hermione passed by draco malfoy, and even she wondered if the gods above liked to play cruel games with the mortals below. but draco held his head up high, his stride fast and paced; this burning sensation constantly gnawing away at his arms, the eagerness to run far, far away from here. he decided when the glares were too harsh and the whispers were too loud that everything was all the same when too much had been stolen from him.

a look at neville would remind draco of how good things come to those who believed, believed in the people they loved and believed in the good causes they fought for. a look at neville would create this underlying feeling of envy and cold-blooded emptiness because draco too, could have had that but he had no way out. but he did. he took the coward’s way out. he accepted his fate, when neville fought and fought and finally he received what he deserved. and on any other day when draco passed by any other young man with unruly, windswept jet-black hair, he felt his heart leap out of his throat, because he wished he could turn-back time and go back. go back to where it all started, and change everything. because he knew, he too deserved redemption.

a look at draco would remind luna of how the moon rises, just to reflect the sun’s light. luna relived the past, over and over, wishing eternally that she could have done something more; more to help out her friends she knew were hurting so much on the inside. the times when her eyes would glaze over the thestrals, her eyes darkening when she sees the other students flinch for the first time because she too, understood. but finally she realized that somethings were meant to be, that the gods were telling them something when draco apologized, when hermione forgave, when ron stepped up, when neville held out his hand, when harry had this unforgettable look in his eyes as the sun fell below the horizon, his hands reaching out towards the light, finally free of whatever held him back.

a look at luna would remind neville to continue being fascinated in the wonders of the world, the ways of the people and the emotions of the unwanted. how everyone could get better and become even stronger through hardships and a lending hand from another friend. because like luna said, the gods were telling the mortals something. that whatever happened throughout their journey carved another road to their destination, uncovering another brilliance they would have never discovered otherwise. and neville wanted to thank the gods, he wanted everyone to realize that everything happened for a reason because it was meant to be.

what was meant to be is what created you, meaning that the stardust in your veins shined a radiance unbeknownst to your own because you were chasing sun; soaring in vibrancy, constantly. and the sun was just a giant star, and soon you will be too, with the rest of the world chasing you forward.

and neville wished that everyone knew that.

❝you break my heart, in the blink of an eye.❞

BTS | Spring Day, for @remusluvpin

now or never, halsey

drabble: jily

word count: 244

the sundown series. night two.

and all of a sudden, james asks, “lily, why did you choose me?”

and even he’s surprised he asked the question. perhaps it was the midnight thoughts; the misshapen drunk questions spoken only in the late hours.

his head rests in the lap of an incredible wizard, and he bores his eyes into hers; searching, trying to find an answer.

and for a moment, lily lays there silently, her flaming-red hair falling loosely behind her shoulders. she doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “why are you asking, my love?”

lily runs her fingers through the strands of james’ hair, tousling them uncontrollably. the fireplace beside them roars on, ashes flickering specks of light throughout the common room.

“i was nothing but a jerk to you the whole time here,” james murmurs. “you could have had anyone here in this whole damn school. but you chose me. and i don’t deserve you.”

“but here we are, right?” lily whispers, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “don’t ask the silly questions, my dear. you were the one who told me we were meant to be.”

lily cracks a smile, cradling james’ cheek and brushing her thumb over his lip. “so don’t back out on me now.”

“no, i won’t,” james says, voice hoarse. his mind is going numb with emotion. “never.”

❝i want to be where the people are. i want to see, want to see 'em dancing.❞