Dont stop loving you (。⌒∇⌒)。

1. BEGIN TO HEAL

When we are wounded emotionally and psychologically — there is a version of us that is created that serves us no true good but to survive and keep us living day to day. A lot of the time this means we haven’t felt our feelings in a long while. You need to take some time to feel those things that broke you. Cry, scream, yell. You were wounded. Let yourself grieve the person/things that you were forced to see in a new light so that you can GET THAT SHIT OFF OF YOU.

the healing trio: therapy, movement, self-care

2. BEGIN TO TRY

You will not end up where you desire by operating the same way in any capacity. How are you a new woman and doing the things the present you does now? Elevate your life in the areas you desire to see change. It doesn’t mean spending money — intention is elevation to.

That could mean going to a different location to try the thing you’ve always wanted. Dressing little by little like the new you. And taking each day as an opportunity to put the new you on display.

Take the necessary time throughout your day to ask yourself “Does the me I desire to be do xyz?” “How would the new me feel about this?” “What would the new me do in this situation?”

you don’t need permission from anyone other than you to change.

3. BEGIN AGAIN

Meaning love yourself enough to begin again. Don’t hold your past against yourself. You did the best you could with what you had then — and now that you have new information to live life with — use it. Don’t be afraid to close chapters, friendships, relationships, that are no longer serving you ok? You can have more — but you have to choose and understand first that there is more. There IS better. Just because you don’t require the world of anyone — doesn’t in turn mean you deserve the bare minimum.

Pro-Tip: Begin dating yourself again. 💕 Reintroduce you.

You can read my post How To Begin Again for help with this.

4. BEGIN TO GROW

Don’t mistake this step for rigorously attacking your goals. The above steps are FAR MORE important and will result in the MOST flourishing even if you NEVER scratch a goal off of your list in the next 6 months.

This step is all about picking something you want to set out to accomplish. And when I say accomplish - I don’t mean an outcome. I mean setting out to establish yourself as the new you through patterns of behavior. Through patterns of choosing yourself.

Instead of making it a goal to make X amount of money or weigh X weight — the goal should be to be more mindful of your spending & worth at work…or to treat your body like the temple that it is. And you can do this by simply slowing down and using those questions in step 3 over and over for every little decision until listening to yourself and trusting yourself is second nature again.

Operating from a place of only seeing the value in ONE outcome (weighing X or making X) is called black and white thinking and is bad for our mental health. EMBRACE THE GRAY.

i love that there's so much more people than i thought that don't just relate to me when it comes to culture, but relates to me when it comes to the awareness of fandom and fanfiction anti-black issues.

which is why its always sad bae hours when you realize there's no xblk!reader fics in your fandom, no fics with any black!ocs in your fandom, no black!reader various-fandom collections with your fandom in it, or even barely any black writers in your fandom.

and even when you're the people doing pumping out content for black readers and/or make safe spaces for black fans, it can get so lonely knowing you're one of the only ones.

if that's what happen to you; i hear you loud and clear hun. currently going through that as well. just know there's other black fans that relate to you. the struggles are real but you'll get through it, maybe, eventually. and even if you don't, its okay.

Shout out to all the black fans with no reader fics you'll relate to.

Shout out to all the black fans that keep pushing through the anti-blackness and lack of care for them in the fandom.

Shout out to all the black fans that write xblackreader fics or black oc fics nobody else in your fandom ever does.

Shout out to all the black fans that have no space for other black fans in their fandom.

Shout out to all the black writers or fans that gave up in looking for content for them to relate to, or gave up in creating black!oc or black!reader fanfiction for the sake of themselves and/or others can relate to; you've done well, you deserve as much credit as black fans that currently contribute to black representation in fandoms. you didn't give up, you were tired. and that's okay.

Shout out to all the black fans that moved to another fandom because of the lack of black spaces, black fans or black writers. It's always so tiring and disappointing knowing your old fandom have none of what your new fandom has; but at least in your new fandom you may feel more appreciated and accepted.

why should you change it?

When you guys pop up in our notifications, most seasoned tumblr users will suspect you’re a bot and block on sight.

why do we block immediately?

tumblr has a history of bots trying to infiltrate and establish a connection to a valid, existing blog in order to populate google searches. Simply liking or reblogging a post, not just adding a scam link to it, establishes this connection. Tumblr users don’t want this to happen, especially if it’s a scammy p*rn bot. So, we often block on sight.

So now I have to reblog stuff AND change my pfp?

Well, of course that’s up to you! I just want to explain why you may have been already blocked by an artist/blogger you may have discovered recently, and how you can avoid it in the future.

Reblogging does help creators more than likes because your reblogs will show up on the dash of those that may follow you. Plus, reblogging puts that post on your own blog, and in case the original gets deleted or edited by the OP, it’ll be on your blog like that–forever (or until you delete your blog). Nice.

Here are some free icons created by catalyststuff on freepik. Highly recommend their art for a simple replacement!

Hey anon. I believe there are many factors that have contributed in people not posting as much as they used to on Tumblr. It’s either one of these factors, a mixture of two or three factors or in some cases for content creators all four factors have taken place.

Firstly, we had the censorship purge last year, where Tumblr started flagging nearly every other post as inappropriate even when half of those posts weren’t even nsfw. Many tumblr accounts don’t show up in searches anymore, even though they are still active. This is all because they post nsfw content. A lot of content creators that primarily wrote smut decided to leave Tumblr last year and many never came back.

Secondly, a lot of content creators started noticing their work being reposted on other websites. These creators were not given any credit. In fact the reposters claimed the work as their own. This happened to every kind of content creator on here. Fan made videos, fancams, photos, gifs, fanart and fanfics were all getting reposted on websites such as YouTube, Wattpad, DeviantArt, etc. Unfortunately it is happening all over again for gif makers, where their gifs are being reposted on Twitter. We’ve lost a lot and are still losing many content creators due to this issue.

Thirdly, when Tumblr originally turned from a photography and art website into a website for various fandoms, people interacted with posts a lot more. Before I became a KPOP account, I used to be a part of Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Dr. Who, Sherlock and Harry Potter fandoms. I remember that any post that was either a fanfic, gifset or fanart used to gain more reblogs than likes back then. People used to reblog every single post they enjoyed seeing on Tumblr. Content creators were used to having their posts be reblogged by followers, which automatically meant that more people saw their content. In the last 2-3 years, posts hardly get any reblogs. People tend to hit the like button and move on to the next post on their dashboard. The main reason why content creators were drawn to Tumblr in the first place, was the REBLOG button. Every time someone hits the reblog button on a post, that post gets shared to that person’s followers. In other words, new people are seeing this content. When a content creator’s followers only hit the like button, no one new sees that post. 

I’m a fanfic writer myself and I don’t even mind if people decide no to give me any feedback on my content. However, the least people can do is hit the reblog button. I have zero motivation to continue writing on Tumblr. The last chapter I posted for my fanfic Queen of Jeju ( back in April 2019) has 29 notes in total. 19 people liked that post and out of those 19 people only 3 decided to reblog it. The rest of the 7 reblogs were done by me. For a long time I kept telling myself that the reason I’m finding it so hard to post any new content is because I have writer’s block. I finally admitted to myself that the real reason I haven’t posted anything new on Tumblr since April is because hardly anyone reblogs my content. When someone likes my post, but decides not to reblog it, it makes me think that okay this person liked reading what I wrote. However, my writing wasn’t good enough to be shared with this person’s followers and that is why they never reblog my content. If my content is not good enough to be shared (reblogged), then why should I even post it in the first place.

Lastly, content creators started receiving asks and dms where people began to rudely demand for new content. Content that has always been free on this website. Gif makers started receiving asks where people demanded them to create gifs of their favourite idols at a faster pace, not realising or appreciating the fact that it takes at least 2 hours for someone to create a HD quality gif. Fanfic writers started receiving asks where people demanded updates for chaptered fics and also ‘requests’ for new fics when their account description clearly states that they are not taking requests at that time. If that wasn’t bad enough content creators started receiving asks and dms where people began to spew hate towards them because the content creator was either too slow at updating or because they didn’t create content about certain KPOP artists, ships or specific genres/themes.

you need to reblog content, not simply like. 

if for some reason you’re shy about sharing certain content, this next one is still for you: you need to interact with content creators. tell them what you liked about it–it doesn’t even have to be in depth, and often, it can even be on anon, so there’s really no excuse! you may think your voice doesn’t matter, but i’m here to tell you that’s not true–we love hearing from you, and your note of encouragement is often all that keeps us going. even if your form of interaction is simply reblogging content and screaming in the tags–i love that shit, and i read every word.

you need to stop assuming you’re entitled to free content. content creators do this in their free time, often between work, or school, or family/friends responsibilities. don’t pester people for updates, don’t repost their content. tl;dr don’t be a dick.

you need to do all of these things. otherwise, content creators will leave and take their shit with them 🤷🏽‍♀️we do not enjoy working hard for days, months, only to simply toss it into a void, subsequently get literally nothing out of it, and then be expected to do it all over again. content is posted for free, and the least you can do is interact.