Pomeline.

Being cooped up at home all of this year has made me take a complete pause in what I used to be passionate about. 😰 There are several days where I'd just lay on bed and scroll all day, oblivious to the mess going on within my country. Maybe I just chose to shut everything out due to the feeling of overwhelm, or maybe it was all just my way of coping with things. 😖 There have been some days where I’d find myself thinking of going back to the old hobbies I badly missed, but to no avail—my body would refuse to comply, and I would continue to lay in bed all day, endlessly watching one YouTube video after another. 🏠🪞

Nature has been healing lately. 🌳🌸🍄 It sounds so overly cliche and it seems like I am over-romanticizing these words just to sound ~pretty~, but it’s true. I’d go out at least once a week in a non-overly populated, secluded area and just walk around, soak up the afternoon sunshine and walk all over the grass and soil, and maybe tend to a couple of plants here and there. 🎋 There is something about the world away from one's bedroom that makes us undervalue all these things, easily taking for granted the time we spend outside until we are standing there and taking it all in, and forgetting it all the next day. 🕳 I guess the real reason why I’m writing now is that—thanks to the time I spend away from home, I’m inspired once again. 📚🤓

It took me some time to let myself get back on my own feet. 🦥🦵🏻 Being the overly anxious and people-pleasing person that I am (try saying that a couple of times lol), I’d overthink what people would think of me when I did get back into it. 💭 My head creates so many bad scenarios to self-sabotage my actions, and I'd end up following it instead of fighting back. I know none of these thoughts matter and that it’s all in my head—but old experiences led me to think otherwise. 😰💥

People are so lucky to have maintained such large circles at this time 👯‍♀️, securing a network can easily give one peace of mind if they as so decide to start a business or post a couple of pictures online—and in return have a full crowd of support on their backs. I know I'm only speaking this out to back up my very minuscule comfort zone and self-esteem 💤, and I know in my heart if I continue to pursue my passion and reach for my biggest dreams, I'll eventually meet more people and my circle will continue to grow. 📈🌱 But I'll leave all of that in the future—MY future, and I'll allow the universe to give me the peace and clarity I need to move forward, and to have the willpower and strength to carry on with what I know I am capable of. 🦋

Well, this has been too much rambling for me, ✍🏻📜 and if I'd have to release more emotions I would definitely cringe to see it all being written down online 😂—but I'll have to leave all of that extra writing onto my personal journal, where any form of emotional and thoughtful release of mine is welcome. 🌴👐🏻