oh my god just saw two pirate ships get into a fender bender right outside my apartment

two dudes with hook hands and trifold hats are currently out there yelling about who had right of way

peg legs?

no, they don't have peg legs. god, that's such an offensive stereotype. learn some shit about pirates instead of making yourself look ignorant on my post

…eyepatches?

of course they had eyepatches what are you stupid

Humans lowkey don't have enough climbing enrichment at home

My room is so fucking cold my pussy just broke off and shattered

We laugh at how The Art of War is basically just, "An army can't fight if the soldiers aren't eating," but I'm reading this document about conservation of ancient yew trees and it legitimately says, "You should never fill the center of a hollow yew with concrete," so I think that probably making blatantly obvious statements is just the bane of being a specialist in anything

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. O click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.

It’s been 10 years but “That’s my agency over there. Burning nicely.” has never left my brain

My Pokemon head canon is that if you were holding an Aron and she wanted to go down she would do the little cat thing where they wiggle until they leap out of your arms gracefully except Aron is made mostly out of solid steel and would land with the impact tungsten cube, dent the floor, cause permanent structural damage to the foundation, and then stand up and happily trot along like she didn't do anything

i think its funny how if you imagine something scary enough your brain starts treating it like its real and out to get you. its really cool and not annoying at all

gonna start reblogging this every time i start worrying about about the Scary Getter