ℙ𝕆𝕃𝕐𝕄𝕀ℕ𝔻 ℙ𝔸ℝ𝔸𝔻𝔼 .ᐟ

I wish using magic so much, I miss experimenting with magic, I miss just the feeling of it, the tingle in my hands when I used magic and spells, the tingle in my whole body when I put as much power as I could into my magic, I miss how cool I would look when my tarot cards would surround me and how shocked people would be when they realized how good I was at using magic

I think the only time I can remember where my family has gone a day/weeks without someone yelling or arguing was when my mom was in the hospital, I distinctly remember thinking about the days my mom got back and she immediately got mad at someone and yelled, I don't remember a normal day where no one yelled or got upset or where a parent took responsibility without putting the blame on someone else

I want to go thrifting and to garage sales so astronomically bad but if I find something even remotely hippie-adjacent I worry what the parental figure will say, I might not find anything I like at all but if I do find something with too much whimsy I know it's gonna start up the "You've never been into this stuff before" comments and I'm so tired of being seen as the same person I was in middle/highschool by my mother

Every once in a while my parents will come along a Volkswagen hippie bus car and they'll talk about how "it's your car" and I'm so happy that I was able to force that adjustment into my family, my parents still think I'm the same person I was in kindergarten so the fact my mom knowledges that's the car I want, feels amazing, even though I can't drive yet, my mom will actually look at prices of any for sale Volkswagens she finds

When the aesthetic van/nature tiktoks start hitting and I have to pretend that's not my literally dream because I seem so chud for actually wanting to be homeless and live in a van

Writing out my plague doctor DS lore and I'm realizing how insane that dream was, which it makes sense because it was a dream and dream logic can be so wack sometimes but it's crazy, I changed it a bit to make it make more sense, but like what do you mean I got randomly transported to the back of a victorian prison car that was also holding a random man that I somehow knew was my father and I just happened to know that he lied so I would be taken away for the crimes he committed?? Unknown crimes because of course, I knew everything else that was happening in this dream except I had to infer from context clues that the crimes he committed were related to magic

I really wanna make my discord jester themed again (low-key me coping, can't be sad when jest ☝️) but even I'm tired of changing my theme every few days and also I'm really trying to push Florian as my new 'main' online name

I'm at the point where even just being called my occupation/what I am, is pretty good as a name too