Jingle Grumps

“Don't be a baby," Dan said offhandedly typing away at his PADD from his desk on the other side of their cramped, shared ensign quarters. “It was just a normal inoculation hypo.”

“No man, I'm telling you. Barry doesn't like me. He always jabs them in super hard.”

Dan scoffed. “That’s Chief Medical Officer Kramer to you ensign,” Dan parroted back mockingly, still never looking up from his PADD. “And maybe he only hates you because you keep calling him Barry like he doesn’t outrank the fuck out of you. Now be quiet, I have a thousand pages of requisition forms to go through.”

Arin sighed, stretching his arms up and resting his head on his hands, pulling his full body red uniform tightly around his midsection.

Life aboard a Galaxy-class cruiser had ended up being quite different than he imagined. The holo’s had always made life aboard an exploratory vessel seem like a non-stop thrill ride. Traveling to unexplored world’s, traversing the complicated social quagmire that was a first contact moment, or the heart-pounding thrill of battle with a violent, warmongering enemy.  

Instead, his day to day on the USS Endeavor was spent mostly on continued training, drills, and tons and tons of data worth of reports he had to fill out, then fill out again when they were sent back from a CO with a list of minor errors and recommendations.

The closest he came to experiencing life or death situations was reading the official reports of the adventures aboard the USS Enterprise, whose crew seemed to be living a life closer to what Arin had imagined as a teenager who hung up Starfleet Academy posters in his room.  Not that Arin would wish upon his crew the death and danger that seemed to constantly follow the Enterprise around. Still, he thought as he realized he’d been staring nonstop at the bulkhead nonstop for a long time, there was a reason they were constantly receiving lectures about watching for the signs of space madness. It was easy to get obsessed with the monotony.

It wasn’t all shift rotations and paperwork, he reminded himself - forcefully shaking off his far too introspective mood. His head slowly turned to look over at his roommate, sitting at his desk in a red uniform identical to Arin’s.  His bouncy, untamed hair casting a shadow onto his forehead, his brow tensed in concentration.

Arin stared at him for a long time, greedily admiring his slim frame, and intense look. He had never thought that their long jumpsuits were very flattering, but it did seem to hug to Dan in a way that never failed to catch Arin’s gaze and hold it.

He shook his head vehemently. This was not the time for perving on his friend.

“Dan,” Arin said suddenly, his tone serious, and his roommate groaned.

“Arin,” he replied just as serious.

“Best buddy.”

“No, Arin, I’m serious. Whatever you’re going to suggest, I’m not going along with it. I’ve got too much stuff to finish.”

“Let’s hit up the holodeck.”

There was a long drawn out pause before he heard Dan mutter a soft, “Fuck,” before sitting down his PADD.

Arin was already leaping out his bunk, a grin stretching across his lips.

---

When Arin was young his dad had taken him to an old museum in town for his birthday. It was one of the few museums on Earth that still had classic games: board games, card games, and Arin’s personal favorite, video games.  Old, ancient games that required a controller and a screen, nothing like the virtual games that children played now with their heads stuck inside a helmet that showed them brand new worlds in a heartbeat. Those games were practically archaic compared to the ones available now.

Arin had loved them.

He had begged his dad to take him back to the museum as often as he could in order to have the chance to play through the small dismal selection that they had until he knew them all by heart.

Now he was stationed aboard a Galaxy-class cruiser with admittance to the ships’ many holodecks available to him whenever he had any downtime. The holodeck was the peak of virtual technology, giving him access to any moment in time or space and only limited by what the user could imagine.

“Oh, come on you little shit, get it together!” he cried out at the screen, once again leading his little avatar on the screen into its doom, and ignoring Dan’s loud giggles beside him on the couch.

And Arin used it to play late 20th/early 21st-century video games.

It wasn’t a hobby that a lot of people understood or even wanted to. HIs first year aboard the ship he’d spent his breaks in the holodeck, enjoying the games alone.  Then his old roommate had been transferred off ship and Dan, fresh-faced from the academy, had moved in.  They had hit it off immediately. He didn’t understand at first, but he’d been open-minded enough to give Arin’s strange way of spending leisure time a shot, and here they were. Dan only played sometimes, spending most of his time enjoying just watching Arin play, adding his own commentary or mostly just laughing at Arin’s own off color commentary as he hilariously failed in what he was trying to accomplish.

“Jump up on that ledge, you ding dong.”

“You’re speaking nonsense and I won’t listen to it,” Arin said as he jumped up on the ledge immediately, only to find himself knocked back by a giant lizard and fell to his death. “You whore!” he bellowed into the echo chamber of the holodeck room, while Dan laughed and laughed at him from his seat beside him on the couch.

When the darkness of space closed in around him, and the routine of an excitement deprived existence started to wear him down, spending an hour or two with Dan. Watching his toothy smile and listening to his distinctive laugh - it was definitely the bright spot of his days.

---

After two years on board the USS Endeavor excitement finally came to their ship.  It was supposed to be a routine mission. First Contact with a new planet that's first foray into light speed travel had sent one of their ships into a near head-on collision with one of the Federations’ satellites. Some initial surveillance had shown them to be a relatively benign, peaceful species whose last planetary level war had been hundreds of years ago.

Most of the primary bridge crew had opted out, giving their seconds and replacements a chance for a learning experience. There were very few members of security heading down with the landing party, and those that were had some sort of separate specialty that they would get a chance to indulge in. That was why Dan was going down, with his focus on botany, to study a particular fascinating species of trees that their probes had picked up on that they felt could have some useful medicinal purposes. Most of the landing party were young crewmembers on their first or second missions, the highest ranking member being Lieutenant Brian Wecht, the head of the astrophysics department, who, being the newest ranked officer, had found himself bullied into the position.

It would’ve been a very easy, run-of-the-mill mission if the Romulans hadn’t beaten them to the planet first.

When the red alert alarms had started blaring, Arin kicked into gear and reported to his designated station without a thought. It wasn’t until he saw the look on CO’s face that he realized that this wasn’t a drill.

He tried his damndest to be on the party sent down for the rescue, but instead, he found himself standing beside CMO Kramer waiting to assist him whenever they brought back the survivors. It was only his training that kept him standing as he overhead the reports being delivered to Barry.

Half the landing party immediately incapacitated and captured.  At least two deaths so far, a good chunk of them missing.

Guilt burned through him like a phaser blast. He had wished for excitement and danger, but now that it was here instead of adrenaline running through his veins it was just an ice cold and nauseating dread.

He had other friends that were missing. People he had graduated the academy with, fellow ensigns he saw every day, but it was the worry about Dan that seemed to be overwhelming him completely. Never seeing Dan’s teasing smile, or hearing his laugh.  It was unthinkable.

Arin was so busy stuck in his head, imaging him sitting in the holodeck alone or an empty bunk across from his that it took him a moment to notice the movement in the transporter room. Then Barry’s hands were on his arm, pulling him back out of the way, and he came back to the present. The room buzzed suddenly, the sound of particles forming and rearranging, then the platform was filled with materializing crewmen.

Dan’s hair stuck out like a rose bush in the middle of a desert. There were a few bodies lying prone, but Dan wasn’t one of them; his arm was slung around the shoulders of Lt. Wecht’s bright blue uniform. He looked weak, but his eyes were open, searching the room until they met Arin’s and a small smile quirked up the side of his lips.

His knees almost gave out and sensing his unstableness the CMO’s grip tightened until he was able to keep himself steady. Then they were both heading into the fray to help.  Arin didn’t even pretend like he was heading anywhere else but straight to Dan’s side.

“Hey,” he found himself saying in a breathy voice, unable to look away from Dan’s bright open eyes, or half smile.  There was a speck of dried blood on his temple but it only slightly registered to Arin.

“Hey, yourself,” Dan replied equally as soft, looking up at him with a tired grin.

“I-” Arin started to say, but was quickly interrupted by Brian.

“Make yourself useful, Hanson,” he said sternly, but not unkindly, and Arin took the soft reprimand to heart. Sliding Dan’s free arm around his own shoulder, he took his weight onto himself (spending a lot of energy not thinking about how right Dan felt pressed against him) and freed the Lieutenant to help other injured crewmen.

They slowly made their way towards the med bay, Arin joking with Dan about how lucky he was going to be - being doted on by the nurses and getting extra rations that Arin would be trying to steal - and treasuring every small chuckle that Dan gifted him with. He left his friend in the capable hands of the med bay, reluctant to the point of flirting with insubordination, but the reassurances of his friend in his relative wellness forced back to help with the ongoing crisis.

The second he was relieved from his shift, six hours later, exhausted and weak on his feet, he rushed to the med bay and pleaded his way to Dan’s bedside.  His friend, still looking rather worse for wear, but comfortably lounging on the bright white sheets, gave him a small smile as soon as he entered the private room.

“I’m so sorry, I just got off shift,” Arin breathed out in a rush.

“You look like shit,” Dan huffed out, interrupting him before he could continue. Arin glared at him, but Dan just laughed. “You should go to sleep man, it’s just going to be worse tomorrow. I’ll still be here when you wake up I promise. No one ever died from some cuts and bruises and a sprained ankle.”

Something truly awful must have crossed Arin’s face because Dan immediately looked regretful.

“I’m sorry, I’m a little woozy from the painkillers. Pretty bad taste I guess, just ignore-”

“Dan,” Arin said seriously, stopping the other man’s rambling in its tracks. “This is all my fault.”

There was a silent pause, before Dan finally huffed out, “What?”

Arin collapsed into the empty chair sitting beside the bed.

“It’s all my fault. All I’ve ever done is whine and complain about how fucking boring it always fucking is and begging for something to fucking happen and then something happens and I nearly fucking lost you!” His voice cracked at the end and realized he was nearly shouting. He slid further down in his chair. “You could’ve died,” he whispered, knowing his voice sounded haunted just at the thought, but the mixture of exhaustion and the rapidly approaching adrenaline crash had left him unable to think before he spoke.

Dan stared at him, obviously trying to take in the sudden seriousness of his usually laid-back friend before he finally graced him with a quiet smile. “But, I didn’t.”

Arin nodded, unable to let his gratefulness of that fact overweigh the tremendous guilt that was currently clinging to his heart.

“This isn’t your fault, you idiot,” Dan continued, fondness lacing through his voice. “Shit happens, man, and you didn’t cause this any more than you can change the weather or make the stars fall out of the sky. There’s not a person on this ship who doesn’t want any break from paperwork that they could get, but I bet none of them are sitting around thinking that they are somehow responsible for the Romulans being absolute jerks. It was just bad luck,” he finished softly.

Arin took a deep breath, and it felt like the first one he had taken since he had found out what happened to the landing party.

“Besides,” Dan continued with a rakish grin, and Arin felt his heart melting at the sight, “you complain about everything. Doesn’t make this one thing any more special.”

Dan’s hand was laying on the bed, palm up, and Arin was gripped with the urge to hold it so strong it nearly jerked him forward in his seat. It seemed like such a great, wonderful idea he couldn’t understand why he hadn’t done it the second he walked in the room. Why he hadn’t done it months ago when they’d been sitting so close on the shared couch in the holodeck.

“I don’t know how I’d survive on this damn ship if you weren’t here every day,” Arin blurted out instead. “It wouldn’t just be boring, it’d be fucking excruciating. You make me happy, not just because you’re my friend, but just because you exist and if I never got to see you smile again I just don’t what I’d do with myself.”

There was a stunned silence in the room, only permeated by the sounds of machines beeping in the hallways as both men tried to come to terms with what Arin had just said.

“That was pretty gay, man.”

Arin glared.

“Oh quit being a dumbass and just come over here and kiss me,” Dan finally said, sitting up in his bed.

They shared wide, identical grins before Arin stood up and did as Dan asked.

In August, Dan joined Arin and Suzy’s relationship. Not in any romantic way, purely sexually. He loved it; getting fucked by Arin or watching Arin get pegged by Suzy, sucking Arin’s dick and eating Suzy out in the same night, making them both cum. His favorite thing was when the couple would give each other a look and attack Dan; kissing, rubbing, sucking, biting and teasing. It was amazing. The best sex Dan had ever had. At the office and around their friends, it was like nothing was different, but Dan knew when Suzy would wink at him or Arin would give him a sultry glance that their dynamic had shifted.

With this new change, Dan was trying to be careful about his emotions and not get too attached to Arin or Suzy or to hurt their relationship. His rules were simple; NO cuddling, NO sleeping over, NO talking about it at the office. Simple, just how he liked it. And if he decided that things were getting too emotional on his end, he would cut it off between them. He kept that one in mind most often and made sure to keep himself in check. Having sex with your married friends was one thing, but falling in love with them was another problem entirely.

By December, they had a rhythm down, especially since tours were over and they had a tiny bit more time, he was going over to the Hanson residence more than ever. It was almost twice a week now that Suzy and Arin would text and ask if he wanted to come over, and without any hesitation, he would. Dan was eating dinner and, right on time, he heard his phone go off.

From: Scuze

Hey cutie! Coming over tonight?

Dan considered how to respond for a moment. Of course he was going to go over, but he had had a strange conversation with Arin that morning in the office, borderline breaking his rule about talking there. Arin had said that Suzy was especially excited for tonight and that she wanted things to be “special” for the three of them. Dan didn’t know what that could mean, but if it was Suzy’s doing, he could end up in handcuffs or just try some new lube. She was always a wild card in their relationship. Dan loved it, except when it made him worry like this. The fact that Arin said it at work meant that either he was excited too, or he was trying to gauge how weird  Dan could get into.

He put his dishes in the sink and turned to his phone.

To: Scuze

Yeah, on my way in a minute.

The drive over was fairly calm, Dan was a little concerned about what a “special” night may mean, but he put those thoughts out of mind until he pulled into the driveway of Arin and Suzy’s house. Upon entering the Hanson house, Dan kicked off his shoes and pet Mochi, who met him at the door. He walked further into the house and was greeted by the sight of Arin and Suzy cuddling on the couch with their computers in their laps.

Arin looked up from his computer with a quick “Hey man.”

“Hi Dan.” chimed Suzy. She moved her laptop to the end table, slowly stretched and stood, and made her way over to Dan. She pulled him into a tight hug while pecking his cheek. He was a little taken aback by the gesture, but it certainly wasn’t bad. Suzy motioned to the couch and said “Why don’t you come sit for a bit? We missed you last night!”

Something seemed off. They missed him, Suzy kissed him on the cheek, and now he was settling into Arin’s side. Practically cuddling.

Dan ventured to ask, “Anything wrong guys?”

Arin responds, “Everything is amazing now that you’re here, we’ve been stoked about this all day” he smiled and turned to Dan, “Suze had a great idea, and she told me, and now we just hope you’re on board.”

“I’m all ears, hot stuff. Is this what’s so “special” about tonight?”

Suzy piped up, “Yep! So, Dan, I want you to fuck me-”

“That’s not exactly a new idea, Scuze.” said Dan, never missing an opportunity to sass Suzy.

“I know, I know, that’s not the new part, idiot. I want to try double penetration.”

Dan was surprised to say the least. It seemed pretty odd that they hadn't tried it before, but Suzy was not the most flexible girl, and of course it was her choice to wait until now to give it a shot, but they were regularly having threesomes! How had this not come up yet?

“Of course I'm down, but what setup are we talking about here? Two dicks in one, or one in the ass and one in the puss?”

“I was thinking the second option. One of you behind me, one in front. I would prefer Arin take me from behind, since he has more experience stretching himself open, and I will ride you, Dan. Oh, and I’d like to be calling the shots once we get upstairs.”

“My wish is your command, Suze. So should I just go up and get stuff ready or-”

Arin grabbed Dan’s hand and tugged him back down. “Hold on, dude, I was in the middle of an email and Suze is editing some Overwatch footage; plus I want to rinse off before we do anything in bed.”

He was sitting between the two, trying to get comfortable for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, Dan pulled out his phone and opened Instagram. Arin finished up going through his emails after another few minutes, put down his laptop and snuggled into Dan. This was surprisingly not weird for him. He and Arin ended up leaning on each other by the end of most late night Grump sessions. The odd part was having Suzy there. Something about sitting in between the married couple during what should be a fairly domestic moment made alarms start to go off in Dan’s head.

“Done!” Suzy said triumphantly.

“Good job, baby, I’ll head upstairs.” Arin unfurled himself from Dan’s side.

Arin went upstairs to shower, and Dan was relieved to know that everything would finally continue as planned. It was also uncomfortable to be between the two while clothed. If he was honest with himself, he was too comfortable cuddling with them. Something was stirring that Dan had to put a damn lid on, and fast. It helped that Suzy put down her laptop and shoved her tongue down his throat. That he could handle. He moved to cup Suzy’s breast and began to run his thumb over her nipple. Suzy reached for his shirt and started tugging at the bottom, her normal sign that he should take off his shirt. When he broke the kiss to do just that, Suzy leapt up and pulled Dan upstairs. They reached the bedroom and Suzy turned to Dan, leaned in close to his ear, and spoke softly,

“Don’t take anything off yet. I want Arin to strip you for me. You two are putting on a show before you fuck me silly.”

Dan’s dick got real interested at that prospect. With Suzy in charge, there normally wouldn’t be much foreplay; she was very direct with her demands. The shower turned off, and Suzy grabbed Dan to kiss him again, clearly rougher than before. He cupped her cheek while his other hand ran through her silky hair.

Arin came into the bedroom, towel around his waist. As he joined Suzy and Dan, he snuggled up behind Suzy, reaching all the way past her to grab Dan’s hips. Dan moved his hand from Suzy’s hair and over to Arin’s; damp, but not as wet as Dan was expecting. Arin’s towel began to slip off of his hips. Suzy must’ve felt it happening, as she turned to face her husband and finished the job, yanking the towel down. Dan watched as Suzy got on her tiptoes to whisper in Arin’s ear. Dan could barely hear as she told Arin to undress him in her take control voice. Arin obliged immediately, facing Dan and pulling Dan’s shirt over his head. Arin trailed his hands down to Dan’s jeans, leaning in to kiss him for the first time that night.

Kissing Arin was always something Dan had to get used to. The mustache scratching his lips and the meatier hands were such a different sensation than Suzy’s softness and deft fingers. Dan heard Suzy moving by the bed. He looked back and saw that she was down to her undergarments. She was in a purple lace bra and some black panties, and even Arin’s jaw dropped. Dan was constantly blown away by how hot Suzy looked in lingerie, but today she looked downright … beautiful.

He took a second as Suzy started moving towards them to keep his brain in the right mindset. Sex, not love. Suzy walked up to Arin, between him and Dan, and began kissing and biting Arin from his lips down his neck. Dan stood behind her, his hands snaked around to grope her breasts. He leaned over and bit along her earlobe, making her gasp. Arin put his hand on Dan’s ass, pulling all three of them closer together.

Sex, not love. He repeated. Thankfully it was working, and he smiled against Suzy’s ear. Suzy was able to wiggle out from between Arin and Dan again, so the men pulled closer together and Arin finished sliding Dan’s pants down. Suzy, always impatient, pulled down Dan’s underwear from behind, moving her hands up and down his sides, teasing him. Arin leaned in again for a quick peck.

Suzy broke their kissing again and shoved both men towards the bed, growling out a “Move.” Both climbed on, and waited for Suzy’s instruction.

“I want to watch my boys for a bit first. I’ll just be over here enjoying the view.”

“Like I said, Suze, your wish is my command. Ar, how you wanna do this tonight?”

Arin laid on his back on the bed, and gestured to his dick, which was already fairly hard. Dan moved towards him, but started with grabbing Arin’s head to kiss him, hard and long. Arin opened his mouth. He shoved his hands into Dan’s hair, tugging enough to make Dan moan. Dan broke the kiss and moved toward Arin’s cock, taking it in his hand. He started up a rhythm that had Arin gasping and groaning every few strokes.

Dan could hear Suzy’s hard breathing between Arin’s moans, and he turned to see her against the wall. She was already coming undone, and Dan watched her finger herself through her underwear at the same pace his hands went on Arin’s shaft. They locked eyes as Suzy quietly came for the first time that night. She quickly recovered and stopped Dan and Arin.

“Arin, grab the condoms and lube from the nightstand. Dan, I want you to undress me.”

They lept into action, Dan pulling Suzy towards him by the hips, gently pulling at her panties until they gave way at her knees and fell. She got one knee on the bed, and leaned towards Dan so he could reach the clasp of the bra. She moved her other leg up so she was kneeling on the bed, straddling Dan. He moved them so he was lying normally on the bed, with Suzy on top of him still. She beckoned Arin over, pulling him in by the back of his neck to sloppily kiss him right over Dan. He dropped the lube and condoms in favor of holding his wife’s face while they kissed. Dan admired his view, pinned under Suzy, then put his hands to work. He reached beside him and grabbed Arin’s hard cock with one hand, pulling a couple times like he had before. His other hand carefully pushed a couple fingers to Suzy’s clit. It was incredible to hear both Hansons gasping through their kiss. Suzy ground her hips down against his dick, and got a moan from him as well. Suzy pulled apart from Arin,

“I think it will be best for me if I’m riding Dan while you stretch me open, Arin. Then you can kneel between Dan’s legs, and we will hopefully all fit like that.”

Dan playfully replied, “Suze, you’ve been doing some homework on this, huh?”

“Of course I did,” she said, her lips curled into a sly smile, “maybe next time we can try doing some homework together.”

Dan groaned at the thought, and turned to Arin, who had a dreamy look in his eyes. Arin and Dan nodded to each other and set back to lavishing Suzy. Arin fondled her breasts and kissed her lips and neck, nibbling to get more gasps out of her. Dan, meanwhile ran his fingers along her pussy, lightly pushing at her opening until she was pushing right back. She was so dripping wet that the tips of dan’s fingers were sliding lightly in and out already. Dan separated the Hansons. Knowing they could keep kissing for hours, and that Dan needed his dick in something, now, and how tough it was to get Suzy on board if she wasn’t even looking at him. He grabbed a condom, and Suzy helped him put it on. She sat herself up a little bit more and lined herself up with Dan’s rock hard cock.

“Ready?” She asked.

“Oh 100% babygirl,” Dan replied. He grabbed her hips and pushed her down.

Suzy stretched herself down onto Dan’s hard shaft, bouncing a little as she settled into his lap. Dan moved Suzy so she was laying on top of him. Now, Arin had the right angle to start his part. Suzy squirmed just enough to keep Dan in tantalizing agony, but it was to expose her asshole for Arin. Arin lubed up his hands, and pushed one finger into Suzy. Suzy squeaked with surprise at the touch, but moaned as he stretched her hole. It seemed like slow going, and Dan would need to be patient before the real main event started. He considered trying to move under her, but he knew he needed to go slow and be careful if he wanted to thrust at all right now, Arin too. At least Suzy seemed to be enjoying it. She was rocking onto Arin’s fingers, which thankfully also helped out Dan’s cock. Suzy, leaning down over Dan, had a great angle where they were kissing practically the entire time Arin was stretching her open. The only breaks were when Suzy would react to something Arin was doing; there was a lot of moans and squeaks as Arin moved or added a finger.

Arin added two fingers before Suzy was practically shaking with excitement. She seemed ready to take things back into her hands, gasping out, “Arin, I’m ready. Please.” Arin nodded. He crawled forwards, sitting up on his knees, lining himself up with Suzy’s hole.

“Are you sure you’re ready, Suze?”

“Do it.”

The groan from both of them was so beautiful, Dan could have gotten off just from hearing that.

Suzy sat up, adjusting herself to be comfortable. At her first small bounce, Dan was amazed to feel how tight Suzy was and how much he could feel Arin, too. Suzy began to move more and more, getting confident in her movements. Arin started to move, too. Dan was frustrated that he couldn’t help out and thrust up into her, but her moving was enough for him, and he moved to stroke Suzy’s clit. Suzy started to collapse at that, clearly overstimulated. Dan took his hand back and placed it on her breast instead. Arin set a hard pace, slamming into Suzy with speed. Suzy was a little slower on Dan, but Dan was happy with any movement after being so still and waiting for Arin. Between the two paces, Suzy was breathing hard as moans, gasps and cries spilled from her lips. Arin was also groaning and growling with his thrusts. Watching them and feeling them made Dan’s guts coil up, ready to cum.

“I-I’m close guys.” he said.

“Me too.” groaned Suzy.

Dan went first. He held Suzy in place as his body convulsed and he filled up the condom. Suzy came next, she fell forwards onto Dan, crying out. After a few more thrusts, Arin came hardest, his forehead resting on Suzy’s back.

None of them moved until Dan had a hard time breathing. He was exhausted. They all were. But, Dan made the first move to get up and rolled Suzy off of him. Arin grabbed Dan’s hand before he could fully stand.

”Just stay and cuddle for a bit.”

“Please, Dan.” Suzy pulled him back tighter.

How could he say no to two puppy dog- eyed faces? “Okay, okay, but just a little while.”

This was weird. Less weird than the couch, but weird. He was lying comfortably between the Hansons, and they both had their heads on one of his shoulders. Arin on the Right, Suzy on the left. Dan didn’t feel right. This was way too close to “breaking up the marriage of his best friends” territory. Why the cuddling? Should he be worried about them? Were they worried about him? On top of all his concern, a thought became clear in his mind. I am in love with Arin and Suzy. He felt a terrifying urge grip him, an urge that told him to never let go of the couple and tell them just how in love he was. He swallowed it back, mentally took the feeling and shoved it into a tightly locked box in his head. The rules were simple, he reminded himself. And after tonight, if things got worse, he would break it off with them. That would be it. Just friends, just co-workers.

Arin got up and took pajamas out of drawers, Suzy watched him before snuggling into Dan even more. Dan grabbed her closer and held her quietly until Arin tossed some clothes at him.

“What are these-”

“Dan, you’re almost asleep, just stay here tonight. I don’t want you to drive back so tired. Just for my peace of mind, please.”

Dan thought about it for a second before nodding back in agreement. He wouldn’t feel safe driving back this tired either. Arin climbed back into bed. Dan drifted off, content to be between two amazing people.

Waking up in bed with two of his best friends should not have felt this amazing. He was spooned between them, with Arin reaching his arm all the way over Dan on to Suzy’s hip, and Suzy was pulled so tight into Dan that he was almost having a hard time breathing. Dan quickly realized that he had slept over with the couple. That was not as alarming as he thought it would be. Dan didn't want to get too romantic or emotional with them for a lot of reasons, but lying here between his favorite people in the world, he forgot all those reasons and let himself hook an arm over Suzy and lean back into Arin. He drifted back to sleep.

When he woke up again, he was alone. Arin and Suzy were in the bathroom, Arin brushing his teeth as Suzy spoke quietly with him about… something. Dan was hit, as if he were punched in the gut, by the realization he had last night. He loved them.

It scared him like hell. He was NOT supposed to have feelings for either of them. Never ever. That was the deal. Sex with his best friends, then leaving. NO cuddling, NO sleeping over, NO talking about it at the office, NO FEELINGS. This should have been simple, but of course Dan had fucked it up.

He shot out of bed, put his clothes back on and raced out of the house before Arin or Suzy could stop him.

As Dan drove back to his own house, he tried to shove anything he felt about either of the Hansons deep into his brain. Open a drawer in his head, put all the feelings in, shut it and triple-padlock it. Again. That was all he had to do. Act like everything was normal and fine. He'd have to end the sex too.

God I'm a coward.

Over the next few days, Dan stupidly unlocked that drawer of feelings for Arin and Suzy. He realized that he had been shoving his feelings away for a long time. Almost since he met the couple, he had felt more. Arin was an incredible person; generous, sweet, funny. And Suzy was so amazing too; artistic, caring, and tough. He really loved them both. He loved them together. He wanted to be with them. He started daydreaming about such a life. Going on dates, grocery shopping, cuddling, watching a movie with a head on each shoulder and a cat in his lap. It would be a dream come true.

He pulled himself out of his head and reality came back; he was just a friend who Arin and Suzy liked in bed, not part of their relationship in any other way. They were married. These feelings were completely wrong, and he had a rule for what to do about feelings. He needed to end it right now. It was best for their friendship and his sanity. He picked up his phone, opened his group text to the two of them and sent a message:

To: Sexy Babes

I think we need to stop having sex. It’s a bad idea.

He didn’t get a response for two hours.

From: Scuze

Dan is everything okay? Did something happen last time I don’t know about? I respect your decision, but this is so sudden.

To: Scuze

I’m fine, I just started to see it getting in the way at the office. Don't want anything to change with the rest of the group.

Getting in the way. What a cop out. He felt like an utter dick even as he sent it. He was going to need a solid week of sleep and  to get past this.

After two weeks of avoiding Arin and Suzy as much as possible, Dan thought he was in the clear to start living somewhat normally again. He, of course, was dead wrong. He said hello to everyone, went to his couch of an office, and opened his main email page before getting a pissed off Arin Hanson yanking him off his couch and into Arin’s office. He closed the door and began pacing in the small room. Dan wasn’t sure what to say, and an eternity of silence stretched between them. In said eternity, Dan realized just how badly he had fucked up. Panic settled in his gut just as Arin opened his mouth to speak.

“Dan, what the FUCK is going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Dan tried to be innocent and friendly.

Arin looked more irate at that, if it were possible, “I mean, why the FUCK would you just break up with Suzy and I like that? Suzy thinks she did something wrong; fuck, I think I did something wrong. If one of us did do something, then tell me so I can understand. Because clearly I'm missing something here, and as it is, I’ve been thinking all FUCKING WEEK ABOUT IT AND I CAN’T FUCKING FIGURE OUT WHY YOU WERE SUCH A GIANT ASSHOLE.”

“We were just hooking up, I didn't realize ending it would be a big deal.” Dan immediately regretted saying it.

Arin seemed to crumble, “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

Dan sat slack-jawed. He wasn't sure how to respond, aside from spilling his guts about the real reason he stopped sleeping with them. Is there another choice? Dan knew the answer. It wasn't fair to them to lie. He became solemn, but determined.

“I don't feel that way. I know I was a dick, and you deserve an honest answer. Suzy too. Get Suzy and bring her here, I think it might be easier… for all of us.”

Arin took an angered breath, nodded, and left. The panic in Dan’s stomach grew until it felt like he had eaten a rock. He heard footsteps approach. Dan squared his shoulders and stood up as Arin and Suzy entered the office. Suzy’s face fell when she saw Dan.

“Hey Suzy.” Dan said, carefully.

“Dan.” She looked at him as if she could kill him with a single glance.

Dan took one deep breath and looked between his best friends.

“I’m in love with you. Both of you. I knew it would ruin everything if you found out, but it sounds like I ruined everything by keeping it a secret too. I know you guys don’t feel the same way, and you shouldn’t, you’re married to each other. But if this is what’s best for all of us, I can just go.”

Suzy spoke, “Dan, did you hear anything we were saying the morning you left?”

Dan shook his head. “You were quiet, I was panicking.”

“We love you. We were talking about taking you on a real date, and then you were gone. When I saw your text, I figured you had heard me talking and didn’t want to be more serious with us.”

Again Dan was slack-jawed.

“So you- you love me?”

Arin spoke, “How could we not love you? Now will you please come kiss me?”

Dan didn’t have to be asked twice. He took the two steps to get to Arin, leaned in, and kissed him with an arm around Suzy. She leaned her head on Dan’s shoulder.

Maybe it was simple after all.

Dan patiently waited for his boyfriend, so they could finally start the day’s session and he could get back to the writing session he had started with Brian. Hearing the door open, he looked over the back of the couch and smiled at Arin. Something in his stomach told him to leave, that the grin Arin had was devious. But still he remained. “Hey, Arin. What's up?”

Arin sauntered over, swing his hips. “Not much, Dan. What’s up with you?”

Opening his mouth to answer, Dan stuttered out, “N-n-nothing. What,” he laughed as Arin placed his hands on Dan’s shoulders, “are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Arin pouted, pressing one knee into Dan’s hip. “I,” he began slowly and straddled Dan, “just wanna make out with you.”

The pit got bigger, deeper, worse. Dan raised a brow, “Is that all?”

“Well,” Arin sat down on Dan’s thighs. “Maybe we could do some other things.”

Laughing, Dan pressed a kiss to Arin’s lips. “You can just say you want a blowie. You don’t have to be all cryptic and sexy.”

“I wanna blow you.”

There it was. Fuck. It wasn’t that Dan didn’t appreciate every offer from Arin, he did. He wanted to accept every offer of a blowjob or handjob or straight up fucking, but he couldn’t let Arin know. Not yet. So Dan shook his head, “No thanks. But I’ll blow you.”

“Why not?”

Dan blinked, forcing the uneasiness down. “Why not what?”

“Why can’t I blow you? Is it ‘cause I have a beard? Is it ‘cause I’m a guy? What is it?” Arin wiped at his face. He didn’t want to cry over this. He didn’t, but it just felt like Dan was hiding something. Like he didn’t actually like Arin.

“No, Arin. Babe,” Dan pressed a kiss to Arin’s forehead. “It’s not you. I swear. It’s me. I got something to work out. But,” Dan gave another kiss, “I will tell you when things are good on my end.” Pulling Arin into a hug, he whispered, “I promise.”

“You promise that when things are good, I can give you a beej?”

Dan laughed, ignoring the twist in his stomach. “You can give me 10 beejs, if you want.”

Arin held him tight, tight enough that Dan would know Arin would wait forever. When they parted, Arin could have sworn he saw something flash across his face, something like fear. But he was not going to press anymore, terrified that Dan would recede into himself. So Arin cracked a joke, “So about that blowjob.”

Dan laughed, bumping his head against Arin’s chest. “If you really want,” Dan said, snaking his hand around to Arin’s chest, “I think,” and down his stomach, pausing at the waistband of his pants, “we have enough time.”

Three weeks. Three weeks since Dan made that promise with Arin. Three weeks since he started evaluating everything about himself and Arin and their relationship. Three weeks since he was given a choice, come out or end the best relationship he’s had in a long time. And only today had he finally figured out what he was going to do.

Dan waited until he had a clearing and knew that Arin was going to be in his office. Steeling himself, Dan gave a quiet knock on the door, more to inform Arin of his presence rather than to ask for permission. Arin jumped, but composed himself at Dan’s soft face. “Hey, Arin. Can, can we talk?”

Pushing his chair out to face the space, Arin gestured to close the door. “Is everything okay? Do you need time off or something?”

Dan ran a hand through his hair, not minding the knots his fingers get caught on. “I think everything is okay. Well,” Dan took a deep breath, “okay. I need to tell you something and I really hope it doesn’t change us.”

Something crawled around in Arin’s stomach. Ignoring it, Arin smiled. “I’m sure we’ll be fine. What did you wanna tell me?”

“You promise not to judge me?”

Arin stood, wrapping his hand around Dan’s biceps. “I would never judge you. Just know, you don’t have to tell me, if you’re not comfortable with it.”

Dan sighed, sagging against Arin. “I am comfortable with it, though. It’s who I am. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Burying his face in Arin’s neck, breathing in Arin, remembering him as if this was the last time he could hold him close, Dan hugged Arin. “Promise me things won’t change too much. I can’t lose you.”

Arin hugged Dan, hugged him with all his might. “You won’t lose me.”

“I’ve lost too many people before because of it.”

Arin pulled away, just enough to press a bruising kiss on Dan’s lips. They parted and Arin wiped a stray tear from Dan’s face. “I promise you won’t lose me.”

Dan gave one last squeeze before taking a step back. Sniffling, he took a shaky breath. He could do it. Brian hadn’t left. Why would Arin? “Okay. So you know people who, um, fuck.” Dan wiped his face. “You know those people that don’t, um, they, shit.”

Arin swore if he softened anymore he would actually melt. “It’s okay. Take your time and remember, you don’t have to tell me.”

“But I need to. I just,” Dan ran a hand through his hair, bunching it at the top of his head. “I’m just gonna say it and you can react however you like, okay?” Arin gave a slow nod, clearly hesitant. “I’m trans.” Dan broke into a grin. “I’m trans. I’m trans.” He started laughing, “I’m trans.”

“Danny?”

“I’m trans.” Dan said a final time, swaying on his feet. “This is crazy. You’re acting like it’s not a big deal.”

Arin blinked. “Being trans or not, it’s not a big deal one way or the other.”

Dan sat down on the couch and Arin took the other half. “How… how are you so chill about this?”

Arin shrugged, “It’s just a part of you. Just like I’m bi or whatever. It’s nothing that can change.”

Dan leaned forward, his forehead pressing against Arin’s. “Are we okay?”

Closing the space, Arin smiled, “We’re good. Wait.” Arin sat back. “Do I need to call you something else?”

“I’m still a guy. I’m still Dan. I’m still your boyfriend.”

Suzy looked him up and down one more time.  “Okay, hon,” she said.  Dan let out a pitiful whine, almost stomping his feet in frustration.  “Come inside, we’re going to start bobbing for apples soon.”

“You always know what kind of costume to wear,” he complained fondly, and did what she requested.  Suzy was an amazingly, perfectly made up Sally from The Nightmare before Christmas, complete with careful stitching right by her mouth in black mascara; her wig was expensive, and bright, light orange.  He had no idea how she managed to do it every single time, but she managed to do it every single time.  

Dan sighed and mingled with the rest of their party guests – all people who worked at the music store where they shared shifts.  Vernon came as a disco dancer, Brian was a very upmarket Ray Stanz, complete with expensive model Proton Pack.   He recognized Barry by his nervous walk, even under all of that gray-green Frankenstein makeup he was somehow entirely himself.  Holly was a witch, and her cackle was incredible.  Ross was wearing a dog’s ears and tail – he was Holly’s familiar, he explained.

There was one guy there, however, whom Dan had never met before that night.   Brown-haired with a blond streak layered in, stocky, maybe even a little bit rat-faced (an observation Dan would never share with the dude), He was wearing a wizard’s robe, his colors marking him out as a Hufflepuff, and he was struggling to carry a wand and a plastic plate filled with sandwiches and chips.

“Hey, man, do you need some help?”  Dan’s voice was calm and even, and he reached out a friendly hand to the dude.

“Oh, thanks man!” the guy grinned.  “Cool costume!  Jamiroquai fucking rocks!”

“They do fucking rock!” Dan said.  “No one else recognized where I was going!”

“That’s because people suck,” Arin said cheerfully, without even meaning it.  

Dan carefully took the wand in his hand as the man sat down on the couch.  He awkwardly held it as he took a couple of bites.  “Uh, I don’t think I introduced myself.  I’m Dan, I work the Tuesday shift with Suzy.”

“Oh!  You’re Dan!” he said brightly.  “Ross told me all about you.”

“Hah haha,” Dan laughed nervously.  “What did he tell you?”  For as fond as Dan was of Ross, he also knew that the guy had a tendency to be bald-faced honest about Dan’s shortcomings.

“That you were in a pretty good band, you never take the ones out of the til before you go off-shift, and you have weird hair.  It’s totally not weird, though, he was wrong as hell about that.”

“Thank you,” Dan blurted.  “You’re…”

The guy had taken a huge bite of his sandwich, so the words came out muffled.  “Ahrth HAmphg!” he said, and then swallowed.  “Sorry about that.”  He burped loudly.  “Arin Hanson.”

“Oh! “ Dan said.  “You’re the guy who drew a dick on that poster of Gene Simmons!”

“Yep, that’s me.   I mostly work the night shift ‘cause I work days at Disney most of the time.  I’m trying to break in through the back door, y’know – I really wanna be an animator.”  He blinked.  “And normally I suck at talking to people at parties.  Like, I run out of things to say right away and freeze up.  But not with you.”

“Huh.”  Dan had noticed the comfortable vibe between the two of them himself, though he hadn’t thought to comment upon it yet.  “I guess I just have that kind of face.”

“What, a cute one?”  Arin turned bright red.  “And sorry again.  Suzy said you had a girlfriend, right?”

“Emphasis on the word ‘had’,” Dan said.  “We’ve been broken up for a couple of months now.”

“Oh,” Arin said to Dan’s forehead.  Embarrassment slid between them like a wall of ice, but Dan wasn’t about to let it win out.  

“So why did you get into animating?”  Arin ended up telling him about how he’d always wanted to at least try it.  His roots were in comedy; he wanted to grow up to be.  

Then Arin asked, “How did you get into music?”  Dan was almost overwhelmed by the passion in his mind; he spoke eloquently of his dreams and of his childhood fantasies of being famous.  

“That sounds fucking rad,” Arin said.  “You need to show me some of your demons sometime.”

“Gladly.  Will you show me your shorts?”

“Either set, any time.”  Dan let out a loud, honking laugh.  Oh, he liked this dude.

“Everybody!  Everyone!  It’s time for the apple bobbing contest!” Suzy said, clapping to get their attention.  She directed them all toward a big bucket painted to look like a barrel filled with water and apples.  “Dan and Arin totally need to go first,” she said, with the decisiveness of a princess ruling over her kingdom.

“Well,” Arin said, squaring up to the barrel, “whoever comes up first, wins.”

“YEP!”

“A kiss!”

“Wait a minute!”  But he’d tucked his hands behind his back, and Suzy was counting down.  When she hit 10, Dan plunged his head into the bucket, flailing his head about until his teeth bumped into something soft and fleshy.  

He sunk his teeth in and jerked his body back from the barrel.

And at the other end of the thick, sweet apple he was biting was Arin’s mouth.

“Kiss, kiss!” demanded Ross sarcastically.

Arin took a huge bite out of his side of the apple, making Dan laugh so hard he nearly choked.  “So, which one of us won, Suz?” he asked, putting the apple down.  

“Hmm, I think you both did,” she said.  “And your prize is two tickets to the next  Deadpool movie, on me.”

“I love Deadpool!” the guys chorused,  as the rest of the room broke out in laughter.

“So uh…maybe I’ll put in for the morning shift and show you what I’ve been working on.”

“That’d be fucking great.  Maybe I’ll put in for the night shift and play you my demos,” Dan said.  

His eyes were bright, his heart was fluttering.  This was the beginning of something important, something that could change his whole life.