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@polyethicalnonmonogamy

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what doesn't kill you makes you stay on tumblr for 13 years and counting
Itâs crazy how real this is
âAll the love Iâve met,
I have no regrets,
If it all ends now,
Iâm set.â
-Rooftops -Lost Prophets

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More people are engaging in polyamory than you might think.
The basics. Not an awful writeup.
Why I donât try to date anymore. đ€Ł

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Been a while
Things are busy.
Things are good.
Maybe thereâs a connection.
Maybe not.
Doesnât matter, each statement is independently valid.
What makes me look back?
What triggers me?
Insert list of traditional trauma triggers here (sights, sounds, smells, touch, people, places)
Those triggers have been scrutinized, analyzed, and had all the words put to them; thereâs a checkmark or two beside each.
The one that remains the same size, the same shape, the same impactâŠis time. Just as we know that our time is finite, our measurement of time brings the same months around again, the same days. Same shit, different year?
The calendar conspires to flip the same pages each year. We usually see those pages coming, birthdays, anniversaries, and we use the calendar to convert experiences into memories. Each year, each day has another layer of experiences until there are no more. We canât look to experiences yet to be had, so whatever the calendar brings is the filtered view of the past.
Sometimes, the âbiggerâ the experience, the more that calendar page looms. Sometimes, the roundness of the number of years since passed highlights a day.
Likely unnecessarily.
Most people feel none of this.
Some do.
I do, strongly.
Dates come and go, as they must, in a manner so beyond my ken that philosophers and scientists alike shall remain in awe.
But my reaction to it feels ever so slightly under my control. Perhaps that, too, is an illusion. Knowing Iâm just not wired in a way that allows it to have no impact is an admission. I sometimes envy those that can.
Ignoring it will just mean I forfeit control to my subconscious; and that scares meâŠ.that would be not good for anyone.
Acknowledging it seems to be the first step.
Yes, anniversaries are super hard for me. I may never know why, but they are. I often wish they werenât.
So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school⊠let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didnât take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.
Okay, so, freshman year, Iâm deep in my âeverything sucks and Iâm stuck with these assholesâ mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, letâs call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didnât get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.
One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.
All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the olâ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.
So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.
And Mr. Hargrove loved it.
It wasnât just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.
Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, âSome pipsqueak.â
And thatâs when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.
Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.
One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargroveâs complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix âizeâ to a verb.
That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added âizeâ to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.
And, people⊠The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.
And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying âfuck youâ to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)
So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.
Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.
Months. Probably longer.
Fuck Covid. Fuck a lot of things.
While Iâm grateful, day by day, to still be here, I do still look at the ups and downs of the last twenty years...and more...and wonder just how I survived, and thrived during it all.
I know itâs because I donât focus, often, on the negatives, on the traumas, on the blindsiding things that life throws at even the most prepared.  I say often because, still, on occasion, I have to acknowledge these things, unpack them, reorganize them, and then put them back in a box that should be a little bit lighter each time I do it.
The box is lighter, I think, or at least it feels lighter compared to the immensity of the gifts that life has given me. All in all, I am more fortunate than many, and, again, I am grateful.
But I come here for the boxes, the reorganization, the revisiting of the things that shaped me as much, or more, than the good things. Man, thereâs a lot in those boxes. They are well organized, and they no longer jump out of the box unexpectedly as much as they once did.
I recognize them. I respect them. I even honor their role in shaping my path. Yet, as Iâve slowly acknowledged...they are milestones along the path of time.
Time is a fickle bitch. The box is open today, briefly. Iâm indulging myself by allowing it. I donât think itâll take all day.  I can do, in hours, what used to take me weeks. Perhaps gratefulness cannot exist without wistfulness.
I've got to be honest I think you know We're covered in lies and that's OK There's somewhere beyond this I know But I hope I can find the words to say Never again no No never again.....But I've been unable To put you down I'm still learning things I ought to know by now It's under the table so I need something more to show somehow
Vertical Horizon

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Ladies I have another question for you....
Whatâs one thing you wish guy did while he was going down ?
Actually suck on the clitoris instead of flicking it with his tongue like how a cat drinks water.
I have so much to learn thelifeofbunches
Go slow. Not everything has to be fast paced and crazy all the time
Hold my thighs. Like grip them, just firm enoughâŠ
Yasss that clit flicking shit is not the wave.
What about sucking on the clit ? thetennesseehoneyy
Fingering at the same time is always nice, but not in and out, find that gspot and massage it why you lick and suck the clit. I will die.
Touch/grab my thighs, my ass, slowly touch down my spine, everywhere, somewhere. Tease me good before you go down & while youâre down there.
Deadass with the thigh thing Kiss those inner thighs too Pretend youâre passionately kissing the kitty Not a cat drinking water Also donât even do it if you a)donât like doing it b)youâre going to do it for 2 seconds
I couldnât hit reblog fast enough.
Donât be to shy to open it up and really get the clit. Like if dudes really spread the lips and focused on the clit I would lose my mind
slow down on the flickering thing, that rapid shit isnt pleasurable, slowly running your tongue back n forth tho? Yes.Â
thigh kissing is nice, ass grabbing, thigh gripping, a little passionate teasing takes you far and honestly gets her wetter by the minuteÂ
slow down, take your time at first, dont just dive in, enjoy your meal
that rapid flicking thing doesnt do much for me (i cant speak for every girl) but slow runs across the clit are lovely, just focus on the clit, let your fingers do some work if you get tired or somethingÂ
I dont know about every girl but that mimic-my-dick-with-my-tongue technique doesnt do shitÂ
Notice how theyâve all basically said the same thing? I hope you men pay attention. Every woman is different but here are the basics to pleasing us.
1. Stop the fucking flicking shit.
2. Focus on the CLIT. Suck it, circle it. Engulf it. If she moans, keep doing that.
3. But pls, do visit thighland. Inner thigh licking and kissing will set us on fire.
4. What is this fingering shit? Massage the gspot or get out. We feel nothing with that little stabbing motion. Also, stop sticking your 2 inches of tongue in there. Come back up to the clit.
5. LONG stokes with the tongue.
6. Stop humming. Most of us use vibrators so that little humming trick you learned from GQ will pale in comparison.
7. Speaking of vibes, the reason youâre in our bed is because you can do 1 thing our wands and rabbits canât do. And thatâs grab us. Grab us, squeeze us, we want to feel your hands on our body.
8. If you can reach, grab a titty.
9. Some women are self conscious about how they look/taste/smell down there. Or worry about taking too long to orgasm, so let her know youâre enjoying it. Moan, groan, sound like youâre eating a plate of ribs
10. Do it til we cum or GTFO!
Oh damn đłđłđđ
Why arenât things compiled and published like this more often??
And more importantly, why arenât we being told this stuff while down there? Esp those of us who love doing it and doing it rightâŠ.. feedback, ladies, when weâre there. Please?
I donât often post shit like this but all of this is important. Guys, you want the goods? Learn to earn it. And please enjoy yourself. If you do it right youâll enjoy the sheer fact that SHEâS enjoying it.
Taking notes for when I feel like putting some natural facial hair growth serum on my face.
Reblogging for awarenessâŠ
Donât be rubbin on the clit like you trying to shine a shoe, itâs very sensitive. To that end, no dry cat-tounges. Slob it down.
If you think blowing on it or in it or anywhere near the pussy does anything for anyone, punch yourself in the face right now
Great facts and mad humorous. Shoot I love what I do and always have a drenched beard. And little to drink but always good to learn new tricks if there where some.
BEST!!!
Well done ladies! đđ yes work that clit. đđ
Definitely suck on my clit. And start gently, you are neither a cat to flip it nor you are in the rush to catch the bus. And once you find out what I like, stop fucking changing the technique!!. Stick to the one that works, we can experiment some other time!!.
Wonderful, Ladies! Be explicit, we want to make you happy, tell us how! :-)
đđ» this is gold!!! Solid gold!!!
Sharing this because everyone should know!
knowledge is power, sharing is caring, etc
Wow. That is alot of valuable feedback right there!!
Rule #1: Donât do it like they do it in porn.
Rule #2: Donât do it like they do it in porn!!!
Rule #3: That stupid tongue-way-out and flicking triple time? They do that in porn.
Rule #4: They do that in porn because if they were licking pussy the right way youâd see a) two thighs and b) the back of a head. In porn they want to see a) pussy and b) as little of the man as possible.
Rule #5: Donât do it like they do it in porn.
Rule #6: Your tongue is not a cock. Sometimes people in porn use their tongues like a cock. But see rules #1-5. Also the second and third sentences of this rule!
Rule #7: Watch how she touches herself. (What, youâve watched how she touches herself, right? If not watch how pretty much _every_ woman touches herself when sheâs legit getting off and not just doing what women do in porn.
Rule #8: Lick her where she touches herself. Because those are the good spots.
Rule #9: Notice how much sheâs fingering inside herself when she touches herself? Yeah, me either usually.
Rule #10: If she does touch herself inside, notice how deep her fingers go? Gene Simmonâs tongue isnât that long, or that strong. See Rule #6.
Rule #11: See her hipbones? See the insides of her thighs almost up by her knees? Unless sheâs ticklish (in which case maybe spend more time kissing face to face and letting her get really warmed up, becauseâŠ
Side Rule #A: Ticklish almost always means not-horny-enough.
Rule #12: Back to Rule #11: Find time to kiss her everywhere between her hipbones and the insides of her thighs almost up to her knees. Then start kissing her kitty.
Rule #13: When sheâs really wound up sheâs very likely to be sensitive everywhere detailed in Rule #11.
Rule #14: Long, soft strokes with the flat of your tongue. From the bottom of her kitty along side her outer lips to the top. Then on the other side.
Rule #15: Which they rarely do in porn. So do that.
Rule #16: gently part her lips with your own lips and tongue and softly slip between her inner lips, tasting her as you go because sheâs going to taste pretty good.
Rule #17: Maybe slurp one of her inner lips between yours, one side at a time, fairly close to the top near her clit, and swirl your tongue on the inside â while gently tugging down just a little bit because that tugs down on her clit a little bit.
Rule #18: Generally speaking donât slide your tongue all the way under her hood because the tip of her clit is sensitive as hell and the top of your tongue is usually pretty rough.
Rule #19: You know how you watched the way she touches herself? Take a minute to think about that again. Bonus points of you remember which side of her clit she favors because almost everyone is more sensitive on one side than the other.
Side Rule #B: For some reason the average womanâs clit is more sensitive on the left side.
Side Rule #C: But goddamn it the woman you are going down on is anything but average! So your her mileage may vary!
Rule #20: Open your mouth over her clit hood â about as wide as you comfortably can (though watch those teeth) â and then apply gentle suction.
Rule #21: Wetly swirl your tongue alongside the hood of her clit, up past the little fold that hides the tip.
Rule #22: Occasionally slide your tongue back and forth across the top of her clit hood.
Rule #23: If sheâs really aroused youâll start to feel a little âstemâ growing underneath her hood. Thatâs good. Very, very good.
Rule #24: This is a very good time to think carefully about what youâre going to do next. Because when you feel that little stem (her clitâs erect) then you might be able to back off a little bit. And go on a little kissing and licking tour from #12, above. Which might help her keep sailing and also help her from âŠ
Rule #25: If you keep doing the same thing change it up a little, because she can go numb. This will frustrate her at least as much as it will you. Â
Rule #25: If you feel her little stem under her clit hood rise, and if she grabs your head or (especially) if she squeaks âdonât stopâ in a tiny little entirely non-porn way (because Rules all-of-the-above if sheâs really getting off sheâs not likely to sound much like anyone in porn) thenâŠ
Rule #26: DONâT STOP WHAT YOUâRE DOING! Because sheâs going to come if you donât stop. And want to grit her teeth, cry, or possibly kill you if you do.
Rule #27: When sheâs done coming (sheâll let you know by releasing pressure on your head with her hands and/or possibly her thighs) go back to #11 and give her soft, gentle kisses there. Because her inner lips and clit will almost certainly be pretty sensitive.
Rule #28: Climb up along side her and hold and kiss her. (If youâre not sure sheâll like her flavor â many women do but quite a few donât at all â then subtly wipe your face on the sheets on your way up.
Rule #29: I didnât say anything about fucking her afterwards, did I? No I didn not. Sometimes sheâll want to after. Sometimes she wonât. Just like sometimes youâre up for it after sheâs gone down on you and blown your socks across the room and other times you couldnât get it up again for lifeboat room on the Titanic! If not thatâs ok. You can jack off later, just like she rubs one out when youâve capsized after coming. But!
Rule #30: Sheâll remember. And rock your fucking socks next time. Because most guys wonât go down on her at all, and the ones that do think porn is an instruction manual. And so she wonât forget you pulling that thorn out of her paw, and sheâll be a lioness next time. Which might not be that long because many (but not all!) women recover and are ready for a nice round two before all that long at all.
Rule #31: Rule #32, below, is the most important rule of all.
In other words donât be a robot. Sheâs not a robot either. Interact, make eye contact, respond to her like sheâs very likely responding to you! Â
And finally, Rule #33: Donât lick anyoneâs pussy like they do it in porn!
Goodness! I thought Iâd lost this post! Itâs the source of my maybe-cryptic âRule 5âł tag: donât do it like they do it in porn!
Better late than never!
I am really, really happy that you didnât lose this post, positively perky one might say. All I can add to the plethora of juicy nuggets of insightful information, is uhm carry on⊠*secret smile*
#26 and #27.
If sheâs moaning and grinding her hips against your face, for the love of all thatâs holyâŠDonât Stop!
Always a reblog!
Should be a reblog always!
Be messy and donât pay attention to being too âcleanâ, be dirty and be vocal! Show her that she is and will forever be your addiction and your drug and all you are concentrating!
And, for God sake, bite itâŠ.make sure she knows you want her at your mercy and show so emotions! Show fire and passion! đșđđ€€
Read the comments like for real if every guy did this we would want you to eat us out more dangggg
Long post but itâs a hell of a PSA