THE CUISINE QUEEN

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

I saw a post on a terf blog before I blocked it from someone being like "Ummm is anybody else really concerned about the rise of antisocial kinks like pissing" and it made me laugh so hard I almost did a little antisocial kink myself

you people aren't CASTING

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

Every four days I have to be like "kinks, on their own, mean absolutely nothing, everything in the world is determined by your actions, not whatever exists in your head" and every four days people are like "OH SO YOU THINK THOUGHTS CAN'T LEAD TO ACTIONS" "OH SO YOU'RE OKAY WITH PEOPLE MOLESTING BABY ANIMALS" etc etc and I'm like, okay I have a kink for annoying people getting their shit blown smooth off by an 18th century Tortugan buccaneer wielding a stolen Dutch blunderbuss, And Yet...... note how no harm has happened to you due to, and sit down for this: nobody fucking doing anything

I despise the kind of mealy-mouthed hedging that every post needs to include because every buffoon who was given a Whole language reading education somehow nevertheless finds themselves magnetically drawn to commenting on shit they can't understand like iron filings towards a magnet BUT I've had a rough 24 hours in the world of Dealing With Such Individuals Online so I'm also going to add: the idea of "not being allowed to criticize kink" is a fiction invented by people who don't fuck enough in real life to have a working experiential opinion on how any of this shit is actually applied outside of Discord chats. Everyone's allowed to criticize anything. Who gives a shit. Grow up. The only ask I personally have for anybody I have to interact with is that people practice some basic theory of mind instead of assuming anybody whose general sexual preferences are slightly outside of "Tasteful penetration as sponsored by Trojan" is some kind of blithering zombie with a mental video game meter labeled WILLINGNESS TO COMMIT SEX CRIMES that ticks upwards every time they read a post about siblings fucking

Listen, I know we all very badly want the Official Mitch McConnell Crab Rave (and I still think we have a good chance of getting it), but you gotta admit, the sheer comedic value of ravenously hungering for Mitch Crab Rave for weeks, only for Lindsey Graham to pull a Big Diva Moment (TM) and die instead, was absolutely /chefs kiss/ incredible.

No midroll ads and it’s just a polite man playing hitman with meditative music in the background this is actually just insane enough to be my new favorite thing to fall asleep to

“Now I will drop this man here and quietly snap his neck. The Mackerel claims its first victim” okay I’m here for life.

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.

Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?

When you look at all those AI media projects, both the ones that are vaporware and the ones that did release something, none of them ever actually say it's easier or cheaper in any way. They all emphasize that yes, they did spend many hours and waste lots of money on this. That one AI Coke commercial straight up boasted that their workers had to crunch to make it. Like we'll be impressed. If your pitch is "we can make this in a way that looks worse, but isn't less expensive, and we'll proudly mistreat our workers all the same" then why are you doing this, this appears to be a lateral move at best like what is the utility being sold to me by you, the Coca Cola Company, in your dumb AI polar bear commercial