Have my evergrowing collection of Dan and Phil screenshots out of context :)
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
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@polluted-anon
Have my evergrowing collection of Dan and Phil screenshots out of context :)

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How would you feel if you were on a video call for a school project and in the background, one of your members children, a 19 year old to be specific, filled up a gallon of water behind them and then frantically ran away without pants on saying "SORRY!" ? Asking for a friend..
Haven't shared an art piece in a while from anxiety but Security Guard!Wednesday lives in my head rent free now (please be gentle)
Like, look at her!
when someone hits on me in the store (happens daily) I go "no i have a girlfriend" and I take out my broadsword and I cut them down so that they may never do it again
me w my boyfriend
Theif. This is actually ME with MY girlfriend. As God as my witness I will cut you down
Thief*
neurotypical people will be like "yeah loud noises bother me too" and meanwhile i once had to sit in a closet clutching a pillow sob-rocking for 2.5 hours because a fire alarm went off for a few seconds
to all the people in the notes crying bc their fire alarm goes off every time they try to cook
you can put a plastic shower cap over a fire alarm to prevent it from going off. (taping a ribbon/string will act as a reminder to remove the cap when you're done cooking)

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My HS choir class was chaotic as fuck in the best way, I mean that one time we were waiting for class to start and we all started singing "Stacy's Mom" whole the teacher was out of the room. When he came in he said "THIS IS HORRIBLE! WHEN I WAS IN HIGHSCHOOL I HAD A FRIEND NAMED STACEY!" And someone asked "Well, was her mom hot!?" And the teacher just looked around and said "YES!"
Another thing is that teacher has an irrational fear of nutcrackers, and one student deadass bought a 5 ft nutcracker and got access to the choir room before the teacher was due to arrive and put it in his office, sitting in his chair. Class came around and he said "WHICH ONE OF YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK THIS MORNING!?" and he explained it. We also had a little nutcracker that stood on his piano and we named it Tupac.
Also, it wasn't just us, our teacher was chaotic too, like one time he was playing the accompaniment to a song and how he got us to sing louder wasn't to tell us, no he just played louder. One time during this practice a few years ago he did that, and then when the rest came (it was a double rest) the class obviously went silent and he looked at the piano and said, IN THE CALMEST VOICE EVER: "I just broke the piano" and we all were very confused, rightfully.
One of my favourite teachings of his was for our sopranos. They had to hit a high note and how he taught them to get there was "pretend you have an egg in your hand, and now pretend you're throwing it - and I mean CHUCKING this thing - at someone you don't like. Let that egg fly just like your voices!"
I miss that class so much.
Saw a photo on Pinterest and told myself "this is Annie and Levi, I'm drawing this as Annie and Levi" and this was the result.
I am horny
Die then
I mis-interpereted this post and thought you were saying you were horny Pukicho and I sketched this with haste only to realize my error...
I can’t post irony or sarcasm on this damn site without someone taking it the absolute wrong way so from now on I’ll put a picture of this little guy whenever I’m being sarcastic
Sarcastic Sal.
classic vines but they’ve been reshot hollywood style. a man stands over a cliff on a stormy night, his coat billowing in the heavy wind. rain-drenched, hair whipping about his chiseled features, he turns to the camera and–in a voice hoarse with betrayal–gasps: i can’t believe you’ve done this
Midnight. The detective bursts through a locked door to see a shadowy figure perched on the windowsill. The body of the Prime Minister sprawls on the ground, hardwood floor growing steadily darker around him. The curtains fly back as a gust of wind sweeps through the study - and in the next blink, the figure is gone.
The detective rushes to the window, but there’s no trace of the fugitive. They stare out into the shadows of London, and exclaim;
“What the f*ck, Richard?”
The detective and his assistants have been on this case for a week now. His fellows and colleagues had been gathered there to find the culprit of the murderers. On a rough day with no clear evidence in the apartment, he looks on in horror to his old friend, who is raiding the freezer on top of the fridge. Jim turns to the detective and yells: “What is this, the murder weapon? Get off my DICK!”
Two weeks go by. A shootout at Tower Bridge kills the team’s eyewitness before she can give them any information, and a cabdriver who might have had information has mysteriously vanished.
After a chance encounter, the team tracks the assassin to a boarding house before they vanish through a secret door. They’re at a dead end once more - until Jim points out the building’s address.
“Didn’t the Prime Minister stay here when he was younger?”
The landlady nods. “In this very apartment, with some other chap named Richard.”
Jim’s mouth falls open. “And they were roommates.”
The sleuth gasps.
“Oh my God, they were roommates.”
After their discovery of the Prime Minister and Richard being roommates the detectives go to a local resort following an anonymous witness who could give them some more information about where Richard could have gone.
As they were waiting outside near the hot tub, the night air oddly warm around the heated water they saw two men. Friends, or brothers perhaps? Sitting what they presumed five feet apart.
Their looks of confusion have been noticed by the two within the hot tub and their only explanation for their distance was "because we're not gay."

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All dogs in the shelter were allowed to choose a toy as a Christmas present (via) (volume warning)
I know I’ve reblogged this in the past but we’re doing it again.
I'm not a dog person but this remains one of the greatest videos on the internet
I am a dog person, and therefore will always, always reblog.
With the way humans are, we will wind up creating an alien before one shows itself from a different world.
And then continue to freak the fuck out about how it happened.
A series of events:
So, I am hunched over, very much in the zone of making a digital art piece, and my mom just opened my door, I physically jumped, whipped my head around, looked at her, she handed me my McDonald's vanilla shake, I was stunned, she told me to take it, I grabbed it, I said "thank you," she walked out, and now I am trying to calm my racing heart...
Can you rec some soul eater fics ?the best ones you read
*cracks knuckles* of course!!!
(also congrats on being my first ever ask hehe)
Most of these are SoMa fics and (from my opinion at least) are pretty popular, so hopefully I can still give you some good recs
-it’s nights like these by kiiblade T rating
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31994989
(I love reading domestic fluff and this one really caught my eye bc it was short, sweet, and does the SoMa dynamic so well)
-trial by error by lucyrne (the ungenue) T rating
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1833970/chapters/3939574
(Really good oneshots of soul and maka/the whole gang: my favorite one is chapter 15 bc ahh the fluff)
-saying no by chichirichick E rating
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28821306/chapters/70689348
(The final chapter was written so well, and I love the way it just drowns you in angst in the beginning since it makes the fluff fest at the end even more enjoyable)
-operation chupa cabra by inklizard T rating
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203537
(I think this was the first se fanfic I read and it’s become one of my favorite fake dating/love confessions fics)
-rhythm and balance by redphlox M rating
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22344493/chapters/53379220
(this is also one of the first ever se fics I read, and I love how the vibes work well for both cowboy bebop and se)
-a winter solstice by waltzfor-zizi (azro_zee) M rating
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21729391/chapters/52255585
(This is another really good AU, and I love how well it was able to incorporate all of the se cast while still focusing on soul and maka)
-two ghosts by funkeyfangs T rating (I think)
https://funkeyfangs.tumblr.com/post/634731807410094080/two-ghosts-6
(This one also does the whole SoMa dynamic really well, and I really like how it shows just how much of an insecure mess Maka can be)
There’s ALOT more I could’ve included, but these are the ones I could pull from the top of my head lol
scream

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Have you ever eaten something you're not supposed to so your best friend of 16 years has to give you moral support to help you puke? This is what my life has come to. 1:08 in the morning, in my bathroom. With my best friend, trying to puke. What is life anymore?
Everyone, I would like you to meet Billy, he is a little problematic at times but he and I are working on that. I promise!