Politoonz

landslide election analysis continues over yuletide

you daily politoons briefing:

Jong-un sees silver in Brexit lining

your daily politoons briefing

also see ‘next of kim’ from the politoons archive

UK sells defence firm to US

  suddenly, not very recently…

Austerity Extended! Boris’s Boom or Bus Cycle changes gear!

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Deathism is worse than Ageism says UK.gov Dogsbody

Deathism is worse than Ageism says UK Government Dogsbody

Government fink tank experts are predicting a future that will unleash untold riches for the untold rich. Fighting the fight against red tape and red corbyn and red sunrise, Prime Meanster B. Johnson has enlisted the powers of the dead to show a bold new perspective on the idea that you simply work until you drop without a break for tea,…

“Hey Nige, lay off Greta!” Says Planet

Hey Nige, lay off Greta! Says Planet

The world has decided it has a voice and has used it today to insist Nigellistas of the Faragist Brexiteers stop bothering the teenage girl who is trying her best to save the planet for future generations of people other than the idiotologues who follow Nige around like flies spawning in rotting meat.

Of course there are other nit-shitz who the world would…

Brexit Looms for Dutch Blooms!

Flowers across Europe demanded their poly tunnels be prepared for a no deal brexit yesterday. Tulip and other floral unions gathered together in their bulbous millions to force growers to face up to the diverse challenges pollinating political discourse across the continent.

“There is no question that the tulips have a point”said one EU florist who has begun preparing their plants for a ‘no deal’…

Project Fear Jumps the Shark!

Former Foreign Secretary Johnson stuck his oar into Brexshit Creek this morning with a warning to all voting age UK citizens to be wary of fake Project Fear propaganda!

  that’s another little note then,

all comments welcome

x macd

Space Wall to be paid for by Aliens!

American Presentident Donaldo Trump has confounded critics while amazing Star Wars fans that anything can get done while their government – like the United Kingdom’s –  appears to have ceased to exist.

Engaging with the enemy, Trump has moved his Wall into space, diverting funds from future Mars Exploration and subverting Congress in order to keeping actual REAL aliens from immigrating  to Earth…

Government votes against itself then with itself before going home for the weekend!

Government votes against itself then with itself before saying “It’s so unfair!” and taking the ball with them

The fixed term parliament act has hobbled a nation’s ability to rule itself as the government fights the government knowing that they will remain the government until 2023 no matter what.(note from editor: amend word ‘remain’ to ‘hold out’ or ‘survive’ so as not to upset Sun reading…

British Negotiating Team Prepares… End of May predicted in June pundits say! May-bot makes first appearance

Suicide Note found in Tory Battlebus! and more (ball) breaking news

Suicide Note found in Tory Battlebus! An extensive search for someone from the government to interview after the launch of the conservative Election Manifesto has unveiled a note pinned to the hopes of Trace May’s vision for a whiter future. In it loyal party supporters have been lumped in with the feckless miscreants who litter the country with their unwanted souls like leeches preying on the…

British Electoral Roll to be based on Television License Fee payments!

BBC Impartiality Tzar Liar Kunstburger made the announcement today from inside the frame of a camera shot depicting the desolate northern seaside towns that were once thriving peasant villages in the feudal days before Thatcherism and her Industrial revolution that changed the face of a nation from smiley to frowny in less that a generation. Kunstburger says “If we use the latest viewing figures instead of asking people to register to vote, we’ll get more informed audiences in the ballot box!” When asked about top ten topic ‘immigration’ LK told the questioner that television was a natural filtering device for controlling the vast number of people who want to come to this country to watch television. “What could be simpler than demanding everyone signs up and registers before watching television or listening to the radio?” She went on to add “Its gonna be great!” before giving the thumbs up to everyone and jetting off to deliver a package on News at Ten.

Latest polling data shows polls would win if enough polls register to vote!

Latest polling data shows polls would win if enough polls register to vote! Pollsters are generating newsfeeds suggesting that the polls could win a landslide in the coming general election wiping out mainstream parties in a bonfire of the infernos not seen since the idea of asking people what they think  about things was first recorded.  History shows that predicting how things will go before…

Politoons February 2017 – The ‘Enough is Never Enough’ Issue

Last Sane Person Asked to Leave the White House! In keeping with redefining journalists bent on seeking the truth as the new ‘enemies of the people’, newspeaking spokespeople for the Alt-Right House have rescinded the bus passes of older media organizations in favo(u)r of yo(u)ng upstart power ‘ho’s’ willing to promote the billionaire tax evading television reality star’s next series of…