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#bf stuff//////#do not reblog

my mom ships me with my chivalry buddy and i don't know what to think

#I HAVE A BOYFRIEND MOM OH GOD #and it's already hard per se because said chivalry buddy makes me ridiculously horny #and has a half-crush on me #as in he said he's attracted to me but mostly wants to be my friend #like #the most literal definition of friends with benefits #i'm sad that my bf is against poly relationships bc he's monogamous #otherwise everything would be easier #gosh diddly darn---

another thing i'm hating about this period is that i haven't written shit in like forever and i'm so frustrated

i'll get back @ my stuff after my exams.........

if i were skinnier waxing wouldn't hurt so bad 'cause there would be less space to wax ughhhh

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Like, the only apologies I never accepted were those of the bully (aka the primary cause of my mental downfall :^) ) who only wanted me to shut up, but people perceive apologies differently Like, if someone makes me uncomfortable or picks on me I complain but people keep doing their thing so I'm used to "accept" But not everyone (luckily haha) is like this :x plus why would a stranger be understanding of something they couldn't possibly know

you know that feeling when you acknowledge you've been a shithead for the most idiotic reason ever and you want to apologize to those you've hurt for wasting their time and trash talking them first and foremost? but YOU ALSO FEEL THEY'D RIGHTFULLY TELL U TO SHOVE UR APOLOGIES UP UR ASS? ye

[lies face down while letting out frustrated screeching]

#EVERYTHING WAS REALLY SO AVOIDABLE AND LAST YEAR'S ME KNOWS NOTHING

my prof is a lunatic diva and i feel i studied in vain

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so i had to postpone monday's exam because anxiety is doing weird things to my skin haha

#at least i think i can do the one i have tomorrow

re-reading things i said when i was so blinded by my own rage and fear and paranoia feels awful that wasn't me

at least last year's skirts look really nice on me again and i'm super satisfied about this

now i just have not to fuck this up that's the hard part

but damn, i kinda like the way i look right now, i just need not to lose my shit later on and binge to """""console myself""""" (which is bullshit because the fatter i get the unhappier i get)

#weight shenanigans

tbh one of the reasons why i loathe rain with every fiber of my being and i'd much rather suffocate in heat than having to turn my head and see a white sky and hazy landscape is that my mood drops to a point in which i can't look at anything without wanting to cry

and the worst is that i feel a sense of impending doom, as if i'm overlooking something vital that will bite back at me when i least need it, as it always happens

and i can't tell if it's the overthinking thing that's getting me or if something is legit going to be shit

or if rainy days just make me v sad, which combined with a general tendency to overthink isn't exactly the best (which is veeeeery likely)

#bleep bloop

that's it i don't care about my irl group anymore

i care about single peeps. after all, as a group we barely existed. we've always been a series of lil' groups put together, never an actual group.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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#weight shenanigans

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