BITTER

“Ugh. Fawke? Andreas’ new boy toy?”

Of course. What other Fawke was there?

“He gets on my fucking nerves. Even when I was trying to apologize to him he had to go and be an asshole. Couldn’t he see that I was trying? I don’t do that. But Andreas keeps telling me he’s sooooooo in love and that Fawke is a good person so, like. Ugh! I want him to be happy, right? He deserves to be happy. But I’ve seen that Fawke has a short temper, and I….” 

A pause – a laugh – then a huff from his nostrils.

“Like I have any room to talk, right?”

His lips twist into a deep frown, thinking for a moment. 

“It’s just. Andreas has been through so much shit – some of it he brings on himself, but like, he’s really naive at times, too. He falls for shitty people because he wants to be loved. Maybe Fawke isn’t so bad but, he hasn’t given me a fucking chance to know that.”

But Diego’s not stupid and he knows he didn’t really help that situation, either. He went a little overboard. That’s what he always seemed to do. 

“Andreas? Ugh. Andreas is.... a fucking dumbass. “

Diego sighs, though, looking to the side as he speaks. 

“But he. He’s always been there. We grew up with only each other. We died together. We were revived together at the same time. Andreas has always -- always been there for me when it really matters. Even if he gets on my nerves and is the reason my hair is white.”

He’s smiling, just a little bit, but he is. 

“He’s beautiful -- of course he is, right? We’re twins? But like. I don’t know, he’s got that charm that I don’t have. He wants people to like him... maybe a little too much... but he uses it to his advantage. I mean, I won’t say that I’m not fucking gorgeous, too, but he knows how to work it. He knows how to make people like him, and I... I always fuck it up, eventually. I guess he does too. God, We’re messes.”

Diego laughs.

“But, like. He’s beautiful. Almost perfect, it it weren’t for that--”

Scar. And then, the light in Diego’s eyes flickers and his face turns into a deep frown. Huffing out of his nostrils after a moment, he shakes his head. 

diego - wolf

The Wolf is an animal that is both revered and hated in its symbolism. Oftentimes, the negative idea of Wolves is as an aggressive, instinctive creature that is distrusting of others. In other views, it is seen as a intuitive and free; A representation of the beauty of the wild and the great unknown. In a similar way, you are seen differently depending on the viewpoint of others. You may come off as dark or intimidating at first, but are undeniably loyal to those who have gained your trust.

A Wolf familiar guides their master's instincts and decisions, lets them know who they can trust, and protects them.

This familiar represents

-Intelligence

-Distrust of people

-Strong loyalty

-Unpredictability

-Mystery

-Freedom 

       Now Fawke knows exactly how it feels to be in Diego’s position. At least, a variation of it.He’s never punched someone the second he walked through the door and split their lip open. Andreas has had words by the look of it then. A slightly pointed tongue pokes at where the split in his lip had sat before Hex had closed it up using the Light as the Hunter talks. Amber hues take Diego in with something akin to a smug grin sat on the Warlock’s freckled features.

       He waits until Diego is finished, mirroring his body language almost exactly and resting his weight over one leg, cocking an eyebrow in the process. Fawke doesn’t claim to be a cruel person in any stretch of the imagination, but this? This is too good to pass up. An apology? From none other than Diego? This has got to be a dream of some kind. A nightmare maybe? What does this mean for the rest of their interactions? Honestly, Fawke doesn’t care as long as he gets to lord this over the Hunter for years to come.

       “I’m sorry? Could ya say that again ta my other side? Ya see. I’m blind on that one, couldn’t quite pick that up from over there.”

He'd tried. He'd really, really, really tried. All those times Andreas told him that he'd misjudged Fawke, his brother begging him to please just give the man a chance. He loved him!!!! Andreas said. He was so good to him!!!!!!!!

But no, Fawke had to go and be a dick about it. At first, Diego didn't really process the words that were said. But when he did, the expression on his face slowly  and visibly turned sour. He scoffed, his arms uncrossing and fists clenching at his side. It took everything in his power not to lash out physically -- to hit or shove Fawke, at least.

When he’d hit the much-larger man, the last thing Diego expected was for Herschel to get completely knocked on his ass. The sight of blood and the shock on the other awoken’s face as he yelled out, saying that Diego had busted his lip open. It was unexpected enough that Diego’s own face reflected the shock back for a long second before he seemed to collect himself, standing up straight and forcing his expression to be angry.

Diego’s lips were a thinned, dark line of unhappiness that his brother had acknowledged the darkening bruise around his eye, somewhat-swollen shut and getting worse. For a long moment he was completely silent, giving a huff from his nostrils before he shifted to turn over completely, away from his brother.

Another day, another fight, more pain and bruises to make him feel a rush of anything other than his own misery. But it never lasted long enough, now his body ached along with his chest and he felt even more shitty than he had when he’d gone looking for a fight. 

Diego was always a bit impulsively violent, but this had been a pretty quick zero-to-ten, even for him. The moment he’d opened the door and seen Fawke standing there at their apartment, he’d lashed out without even thinking, fist balling tight and connecting with the other man’s face in an audible sound that sent Fawke stumbling back and covering his mouth where it had hit.

“You busted my lip!” The warlock had cried, the glisten of blood visible as he pulled his hand back. Diego’s brows furrowed, huffing through his nostrils and teeth gritted like a feral animal. Andreas had failed to mention (or purposely kept it from him) that Fawke was back in the picture -- so all Diego remembered were the bad things about him. How his brother had bawled his eyes out when Fawke disappeared. How he’d had to comfort his Andreas and swear that if Fawke ever showed his face again, Diego would make sure he’d regret breaking Andreas’ heart.

Well -- he didn’t intend to go back on that promise -- clearly.

“Do you ever dream about when we ran away?” The question Diego asks almost comes out of nowhere, laying beside his brother on the large bed, their previous conversation long-faded away. He’s not even sure if Andreas is still awake at first, but after a second the body beside him shifts and he sees those familiar green eyes looking at him with curiosity.  His brother says nothing, but the expression pushes him to continue speaking.

Diego lets his gaze tilt up towards the ceiling, laughing a quiet laugh. He’s in a pretty good mood -- or at least, a stable one, for once. “What were we thinking back then? A couple of dumbass kids, running away from the only thing we’d ever known. But it just....”

A slight pause. “I mean, I don’t remember everything, but I know that I just. I just didn’t care about the reef at all.” At this point, he’s just thinking out loud, but he can still feel his brother’s gaze on him.  “My only loyalty was to you.”

That’s the point that Diego kind of realizes that he’s Opening Up, and that feeling of discomfort creeps into his chest, urging him to stop. “Whatever.” He breathes, flipping over in a quick motion, reaching out and touching the strands of Andreas’ soft hair with the very tips of his fingers. A passive motion as he says one last thing. “It’s not like the it matters now, anyway.” 

not in a way that he wants to take his own life, as if he even could now that he was a guardian, but in a way that he wishes he could just disappear.

he’s so cold and bitter and angry, and even when he tries not to be, it’s like a coat of fresh paint over a cracked wall. it’s who he is and it’s who he’s always going to be, and he hates it.

he wishes that zivon never met him. he wishes that andreas didn’t rely on him. he wishes that he could disappear from all of their minds completely and fade into nothing.