#mynothing

Sir, that’s my emotional support nightstand water bottle.

I don’t watch the Bachelor but I’m really glad i know people who do so that I can be informed that on tonight’s episode the current bachelor took off all his recording equipment jumped over a fence and ran away into the forest

holy shit?

youtube link for international viewers

According to Colton, he actually expected a producer or someone from the team at abc to be on the other side. When he realized he was truly alone for the first time in weeks he just took off into the Portuguese countryside. Now keep in mind, he’s a former football player and super athletic in general so they had to get in trucks to catch him.  

I don’t give a cold fuck about the facts of what happened or didn’t here, I’m just in awe of this description making it sound like this dude was a fucking raptor busting out of Jurassic Park with handlers racing against the clock to Bring Him In Before He Kills Again™