Dancing in my Kitchen

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

To be fair to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, if I wrote some pulp short stories for a quick buck and an obsessive fandom sprung up around it at a time when fandom culture as we now know it didn't really exist yet, and I had to witness people being insane about my characters while having very little precedent for what the fuck was going on, I would also be confused and frightened and desperately trying to escape from the situation I'd ended up in.

I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO UNMUTE,

We've got to bring back the three minute worship song because I cannot keep listening to people repeat the same word for like four minutes straight and call it a chorus

#this spawned a thoughts in my brain wherein Flynn gets caught &sentenced to death as in canon #and rapunzel decides to go big (and unknowingly) go home and shows up to save him by pulling the Anastasia Con 'i'm the lost princess!' #and as soon as she has secured his release is like OKAY HOW DO WE DO THIS #and he's like do what???? the lost princess con is a game! no one wants the risk of actually trying it! #and didn't you say it would be mean to do that to the king and queen?? #'that was before they tried to have you killed though? so lets figure it out fast! '#anyway they sit down to hash out Her Story and Flynn puts the timeline together and goes uhhhhh I think you might actually be her actually? #the orphanage didn't teach much math but he's been a thief long enough to know 2 plus 2 is 4. (@hedgiwithapen)

Yes it's okay for characters to stay single. It's also okay to suddenly reveal the entire pirate crew is made up of men with noble blood so they'll be suitable matches for the Major Generals daughters. We need a variety of stories in the world.

I love the implication that, as Larry is an "unpaid trainee", the dog is paid.