vellichor

The world set fire to her, Expecting her to crumble to ash,

But she endured— Burning until she became the fire—

And then she blazed.

Twilight comes and passes and sinks to midnight, Yet somehow rosy dawn burns in the mind’s eye now. Unheedful of the body’s call, there is no living death. 

This is how the cycle repeats. Lamentful days, Full of aches. Nights without seeming ends Living death prolonged and eventually forgone---

Only for it to happen all over again. 

Sleepless

Stacks of papers jammed in overflowing binders.  Old worksheets, forgotten notes, shorthand rendered gibberish. A thousand dead trees covered in useless reminders. 

There is no space in my room, on my shelves, under my bed. My world is made of papers used once and never again read, Covered in notes and doodles and confessions never said.  

Messier than my mind for at least my mind fits inside my skull. The papers press in on me from every side and its like I’m drowning--- A helpless swimmer crushed under some mighty ship’s hull.

It’s all trash, it’s trash, it’s useless trash! I sometimes think.  I try and try to gather it all up into my blue bin and finally be free--- And then on cue, I’ll hear their voices and my resolve turns meek.

Still, any progress is better than nothing.  I steel myself and finger through a yellow notebook.  Not a single word holds any meaning. 

My life has not yet taken aim, but I know If I can’t understand a word surely I can purge it from my soul.  I have no use for what I can’t read so, thankfully, it can go.

If nothing else, I can safely say goodbye to this.  Farewell, ninth-grade biology.  You will not be something I miss. 

All Highschool Taught Me

Give him red roses to tell him you love him. Give him lilacs to remind him he’s the first to hold your heart. Give him plum blossoms so he knows he’s your one and only.

Decorate his hair with baby’s breath           Because you’re glad to be with him. Leave blue bells on his desk          Because you want to stay with him forever. Make Dandelion flower crowns          Because they’re bright like the sun, like his smile.

Seep chamomile in his tea          To ensure he has sweet dreams. Leave lavender by his bedside          To soothe his aching heart. Plant sunflowers in his name          To remind him of his strength.

Give him flowers because he made you smile, Give him flowers to say “I love you”, Give him flowers because you treasure him, Give him flowers to celebrate, Give him flowers for no reason at all.

Fill his life with every kind of flower,

         Because he is precious and he is yours,          Because they make him smile,          Because you saw them and thought of him,          Because a bouquet is a week long “I love you”,          Because life’s too short to not say it in every way you can.

Give Him Flowers

I’m sorry I couldn’t love you The way you loved me

I’m sorry I didn’t try to hold on tighter when you started drifting.

I’m sorry For the thousand ways I know I hurt you.  

But even more than all of that---

I’m sorry For my greatest sin:  Not saying goodbye.

I’m Sorry

Lavender hair, without a care. Pink streaks and flushed cheeks. Starry eyes, bright smiles, And legs that go on for miles.

I wanna be pretty and pastel, I wanna raise a little hell. I wanna shimmer like a pearl, I wanna be a matchstick girl.

Faerie dresses flowing in the breeze. Dancing without a care, smiling like a tease.

Faded flannels, boots, and jeans. Soft but still deadly by some means.

Leather jackets and vintage sweaters. Lipstick marks on handwritten letters.

Perfect succulents and vinyl records. Dreams I’m always running towards.

I wanna be the sound of rain on fresh fallen leaves. I wanna be the scent of smoke on the winter breeze.

Oh doesn’t it sound grand? Does the thought not make you beam? To be one part fantasy, no parts man. What I wouldn’t give to be a fever dream.

Fever Dream

Inferno rises, Ticking up the heat. Glacier despises, Frost shall not be beat.

Entangle and ensnare! Oh forces of nature--- Ever onward they dare Inferno and Glacier.

The Clash of Lovers || for @avtorsola

Spit the blood from your mouth and keep going.