a simp

The first time you realized you had fallen into Lumine’s shadow is when your weekly commissions are given to her. Jean didn’t give you much explanation when she sent you home for the day but you could only assume it’s because Lumine could do them better

The second time is when you were absent for a weekend to clear out Hiluchurls from Wolvendome and when you returned back to Mondstadt to share the news, everyone was preoccupied helping Lumine find her brother.

The third time is when, despite your tireless efforts to protect your hometown this year, Lumine was chosen as the Windblume Star.

You had gone from the Knights of Favonius' greatest knight to a mere shadow. Your accomplishments and achievements felt like nothing when compared to Lumine’s and you became desperate to be known again. You watched your teammates pick Lumine over you, choosing to accompany her on adventures, and your friends constantly chatting about how amazing she was.

And, well, she was.

Lumine was beautiful. She was delicate and soft and fought gracefully, while you often came home covered in dirt or blood. And she was kind - so, so kind. She offered her hand to you on multiple occasions, never once seeing you as the threat you saw her as. And beyond her looks, Lumine was passionate and strong and everything you were not. She had everything you had and more except for one thing.

Diluc.

But when you saw Lumine sitting at the bar in the tavern, sharing a daring story with your boyfriend, you became doubtful.

From your seat on the second level of the tavern, you had a perfect view of the pair. Diluc looked happy - perhaps even happier than with you - and your heart broke. Would Lumine be the end of an era between you and Diluc? You loved Diluc to death and all you wanted was for him to be happy.

The truth was, you were running out of patience, running out of fake enthusiasm and fake laughs and fake smiles when Diluc bragged to you about what Lumine did that day. The constant praises and compliments towards a woman who wasn’t even in the room tore you apart bit-by-bit. You were finding it harder to get through each day as Diluc slipped through your fingers.

When you finally broke your silence, you talked to Kaeya.

It was an accidental breakdown - Kaeya had made a cheeky comment about how his brother was spending an awfully lot of time with the traveler and you just broke down. Realizing the severity of the situation, Kaeya pulled you into his office and closed the door. He let you sit at his desk until you calmed down.

“What’s going on?”

So, you told him. You finally let out the bottled up despair and, frankly, jealousy you had been holding in for the past few weeks. You told Kaeya about how you went from ‘hero to zero’ and how you didn’t even deserve to be a knight anymore.

“If I’m not a knight, I don’t have a purpose,” You said solemnly. “I haven’t picked up my sword in a month, Kaeya.”

Kaeya makes a noise of acknowledgement and urges you to continue.

“And I can’t stand how she’s better than me! I’m the Revolutionary Knight - not her!” Despite your angered words, you’re suppressing panic deep in your chest. “She’s already taken so much from me and she’s going to take Diluc.”

“Diluc loves you,” Kaeya reassures you. You’ve never heard his voice this soft and serious before. “Nothing Lumine can do is going to make Diluc ever stop loving you.”

Deep down, you knew that. You knew that Diluc loved you and planned to marry you one day, you knew that. It was just hard to convince your heart of that. As you stared down at the floor, you heard Kaeya sigh.

“Maybe you just need to show him you’re just as good at Lumine.”

That night, you packed a bag before Diluc got home from the tavern and left for Liyue. You would fight the Cryo Regisvine and bring back Diluc a hoarfrost core. He would see your heroic nature and forget all about Lumine - they all would.

***

When Diluc came home that night to find your absence, he began to worry. You were never one to leave without saying anything so Diluc rushed to the Knight’s Headquarters quickly. He was fortunate that Jean and Kaeya were still there finalizing some paperwork.

“Master Diluc?” Jean asked, rising from her desk as Diluc rushed inside her office. “Is everything alright?”

“Y/N is missing,” He said quickly.

“Missing? Are you sure?”

“Yes! They never go anywhere without telling me,” Diluc continued. He noticed Kaeya avert his gaze and snapped his eyes over to his brother, “Kaeya, what do you know?”

“I may have told them to do something heroic to win you back,” Kaeya said, realizing his idea may not have been the best.

Diluc’s eyes widened, “Win me back?”

Kaeya sighed and explained what was going on with you. Diluc’s heart dropped into his stomach and he couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. He should have been praising you, not Lumine. “They mentioned something about the Cryo Regisvine-”

Diluc didn’t let Kaeya speak another word before he took off. You couldn’t have gotten that far and when Diluc noticed the darkening weather, his feet picked up their pace.

***

A fierce gust of wind made you cover your face with your arms. Out of nowhere, it started pouring rain but you wouldn’t let that stop you. You pushed through the impending storm and made your way down into the cave where the ice monster lived. You gripped your sword tightly as the monster sensed your presence and unraveled, turning the downcoming rain into shards of ice that landed on your skin like needles.

Without much delay, you charged the Cryo Regisvine and landed three hits on its corolla before one of its leafy arms wacked into you, sending you hurdling backwards. Your sword was knocked out of your hand and you struggled to catch your breath.

More sharp icicles pierced your skin and a spray of freezing air coated your skin. Yet, you still managed to grab your sword and stand. Your hobbled toward the monster again and when the same leafy arm came towards you, you slashed at it.

The monster let out a screech and retracted itself before slamming it’s head down towards your body. You dodged the first hit but were caught off guard when the second hit knocked you off your feet. You barely had time to roll away when it slammed it’s head down a third time.

“Y/N!”

Diluc surged forwards, grabbing your arm and forcefully pulling you to your feet. Your sword became lost from your hold and the sudden movement caused the blade to scrape down your leg before clambering to the ground again. A nasty gash was left and you seethed.

He couldn’t even think as he pulled you away from the monster. You had never seen Diluc move so fast. He didn’t let you go until you were both far enough from the cave to feel secure. Diluc’s arms wrapped around your shoulders tightly and you were too stunned to say anything.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Your mind felt foggy. You tried to open your mouth and speak but no words came out.

“Do you realize how dangerous that was?”

“I just...Lumine…”

Diluc pulled back at this and stared in your eyes. You couldn’t quite match the emotion on his face. “You’re not Lumine!”

His words cut deep and you felt tears soak your eyes. Maybe if your head was clearer and you could actually hear your thoughts, you would have realized Diluc didn’t mean it that way. But the only thing consuming your mind was that he was right. You weren’t Lumine and you would never be Lumine. “I know!” You cried out suddenly, “That’s why I have to go and kill that thing! So I can give you a hoarfrost core and you’ll love me again!”

Diluc only looked at you. His hands ran down from your shoulders to your hands and he brought your left hand to his lips. You heard him sigh before kissing your knuckle gently.

Your wet hair was dripping water down your face in freezing cold droplets. At that moment you felt useless. You weren’t able to fight the Cryo Regisvine and bring Diluc a hoarfrost core. He would leave you for Lumine and there was nothing you could do about it.

“You’re hurt,” Diluc said, motioning to your leg. In your desolate state, you had forgotten about the gaping wound on your leg that was pouring blood. “Come on - we’re going home.”

You were too upset to protest and let Diluc maneuver your body onto his back. You loosely wrapped your arms around his neck and relished in the warmth his vision released. You held onto Diluc like it was the last time you ever would.

The walk back to Mondstadt was silent and when you two arrived at your shared house, Diluc let you down on the couch. You could only stare at your lap.

“I’m sorry,” You finally mumbled, “Next time I’ll finish what I started.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Diluc said sternly, “No way you’re ever going there alone again.”

Your face stiffened into annoyance. “I’m the Revolutionary Knight - I can do it.”

“No, you can’t.” His words seemed cold and unusual but they were coated in concern. Diluc reached up and cupped your face with his large hands. You tried to pull away but his grip was firm, “It’s okay.”

The situation was suddenly overwhelming and far too much to deal with. The tears you had been holding back tumbled down your cheeks and your words were choked between sobs, “Lumine is so perfect and I’m not...I don’t want you to leave me...I know I’m not good enough but-”

He stopped your rambling with a kiss. “Don’t ever think you’re not good enough,” He whispered, taking you into his arms. You hid your sobs in Diluc’s chest as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. Eventually, your cries settled.

Diluc spent the rest of the night dressing your wound and laying with you in your bed. He didn’t stop comforting you until every horrible thought about yourself was gone from your mind. In the morning he would talk to you more but for now, his job was to make you feel strong again.

“A pleasure.” He said with a bow before slipping back into the crowd and leaving you on your own. Part of you found it a relief, a relaxation from the pressures of a society you never really grew accustomed too. It was the expectation of your family that you were present at events like these. Ones where you were forced to stand in attire that was suffocating, to nod and hold polite conversation with people who were insufferable. How, in all of Teyvat, was this an enjoyable experience. You’d much rather be away from the crowd than stuck in it, especially in a crowd with eyes that knew only judgement. 

You smiled and took a sip of your drink but noticed how the other guests glanced your way. A deep breath here, an adjustment there. It was all to ease the growing worry building in your chest that they, just like you, knew how much you didn’t belong here. Some pretty young thing fluttered past you with a delighted wave and you replied with a tight nodded smile. 

Look at them compared to you, what a fake.

You took another swig of your drink before making your way through unimportant conversations and practically dashing to the open air balcony. It was like you were holding in your breath because as soon as the nighttime air hit your skin you inhaled to the point of pain. 

A disappointment, that’s all you’ll ever be to them. 

Tight fingers curled around the railing as you lifted yourself just enough to feel like you were leaping free from the party raging on inside. You recalled your younger days when the kids would tempt each other to fly on their gliders, to dash down the hill and leap like they didn’t have any worries, any tethers. How you wished you could be like them but, instead, you could only watch while you fiddled with your antiquated expectations. 

“It’s lovely out, wouldn’t you agree?” A voice startled you just enough that you slipped on your straining toes. Twisting around, you spied a familiar face, someone who had grown rather popular around these events, someone who was in another league entirely, someone who stole your heart. 

“Mr. Zhongli.” You bowed politely, fixing your clothes and state of dress as quickly as you could.

“Formalities are not my strong suit. Please, just Zhongli will do.”

“Of course, Z-Zhongli.” You felt your cheeks warm at the sudden informality of your address. “What brings you to the balcony?” 

“A bit of fresh air does the mind wonders.” He said with a deep, intoxicating breath. Eyes closed, head slightly lifted and you swore he resembled that of a god in the way he held himself. 

Chuckling, you turned back toward the city. Even though you weren’t fond of high class parties, you had to admit they always held the best view. “It seems we are both in the same mind then.” 

“As it would seem.” He reiterated and stepped next to you, hands clasped behind his back as he looked across the landscape. 

There was a comfortable silence that settled over the balcony. The ease and relaxation on the wind mixed with the soft, radiant colors of the city seemed to push aside the worries you had felt in the stuffy ballroom. Your mind drifted, swayed like the expansive ocean, and you smiled at the comfort. 

“You look wonderful tonight.” Zhongli’s voice drew you back to reality. If you weren’t standing right next to him, if you hadn’t looked at him, you would’ve sworn he hadn’t said a thing. There was no mistaking the kindness in his eyes as he gazed at you and for the first time in your life you felt seen. 

“Th-That’s kind of you to say but ...” Your insecurities swelled in your chest, rose in your throat faster than you could think to stop them. “I’m really nothing that spectacular.” You laughed out the end to pass it off as nothing. You’d gotten good at diminishing yourself over the years. 

“Does a star know of it’s radiance, a river know of it’s power, or a mountain it’s majesty?” 

“I -- no ...?” 

Zhongli laughed at your confusion. The sound reminded you of an ancient bell at a temple whose chime could be heard rolling across the grassy hills. It resonated in your bones, making you shiver. So, you crossed your arms. “Indeed, they cannot know of what they show, but it doesn’t stop them from being what they are.” Zhongli turned slightly, hands still resting against his back but his golden eyes flashed in the light of the moon and made you falter. “This too doesn’t stop you from being what you are. Even if you cannot comprehend it for yourself, it does not change the fact that you are radiant.” 

His words his you straight in your chest. It was as if his words stole your breath, stung your eyes, clenched your heart; to be seen by someone like him ... 

Trembling, you lifted your hand over your eyes and twisted until you could hide away. “Isn’t it ungentlemanly to make someone cry at a party?”

“Ah, perhaps you are right. Then,” He began, and you heard him move, felt his warmth near your back, “Shall we take our time until the evening wind clears our minds?” 

“---okay.” You sniffled, but even as you let the warm tears roll down your cheeks, with Zhongli standing at your back, you found yourself standing a bit taller than you ever had before.  

he sighs, and the bed dips as it takes the weight of two, his tall figure laying down gently against the soft comforter. he motions to rest his head on your lap and you allow him, your fingers automatically going to tangle in his silky crimson locks.

his lids fall slowly, a movement you knew to be foreign to the man, as trust doesn’t come easily with a man with influence such as him, and his breathing slows.

“so much paperwork,” diluc replies quietly, eyes opening slightly, watching your careful fingers comb through his hair. the lampgrass cast a soft glow in the bedroom, their low aura doing well to help relax the overworked young master. “forgive me for not making it home earlier…”

leaning down, you press a chaste kiss to his lips, your own mouth seemingly lingering just a moment too long against his. pulling away with a shake of your head, your hands work slowly to single out strands of hair, entwining them like the many times before. “save your apologies, it’s your occupation, you can’t help when duty calls.”

the two of you remain like that for a few moments, simply lost in the presence of one another. in the modest bedroom of your cottage, beneath the glow of lampgrass, it seemed nothing more could complete your life.

“what if we escaped for a little?”

the question caught you off-guard a little, your hands stilling for just a moment before continuing their ministrations. crimson gaze meeting yours, they held nothing but genuine curiosity, most likely in your answer. “h-how do you mean?”

“it wouldn’t be for too long, maybe just enough for us to get away from monstadt, just for a bit?” diluc pauses, bringing his hand to take one of yours and intertwining fingers ever so gently. “i’m sure you’d like to go home for a bit as well, the city of wind isn’t particularly the most … arresting …”

it’s a small gesture, but a sign of affection at that. for a man who wore gloves a majority of his time, this small bit of skin on skin was endearing to you and you made sure to cherish every moment. a small chuckle falls to your lips, eyebrows quirking in the slightest of challenges. “oh? and where would that be?”

“down in liyue, of course,” the red-haired states, more or less matter-of-factly. this was no false statement, being a vision wielder of the city of contracts known to disappear of reckless expeditions and make countless near encounters with death himself, it was quite a shock to hear of your leave for monstadt, especially when your reason had been none other than the son of the one and only crepus ragnvindr.

so here you were, living out your simple days with the love of your life; something not one in the land of the seven could ever fathom for you.

“oh but you see, i thought we agreed that my home …” you leaned down once more, closing the distance between the two of you and seeming to cause deja vu in the way your lips ghosted his. “was right here with … you.”

this time it’s diluc who closes the gap between the both of you, his lips pressing against yours with every intention of whatever eternity could hold for lovers.