pmbesitos

You’re in a relationship with Edwin, however, you’re feeling like you belong in second place when it comes to his best friend. 

It’s my first time writing and posting, please be kind. Feel free to pm me at any time for anything. Enjoy, let me know what you think.

You and Edwin have been dating for more than 2 years. Two blissful, magical years. When Edwin finally convinced you to go out on a date with him, you never knew that one date would lead to this wonderful relationship and life that you two now share. 

That’s not to say that you guys haven’t fought. Lord knows that that’s not the case, but Edwin made you promise him that you guys wouldn’t go to bed upset with one another. And maybe it’s your fault because you were only taught to suppress your emotions and never had a healthy relationship to compare this one with. On the rare occasion that Edwin did things that bothered you, you convinced yourself that it was all in your head and would never confront him about it. 

This time you knew it wasn’t in your head. You’ve seen the way that she looks at him. Worse, you’ve seen that way that he’s looked at her. You recognize it, even if it has been weeks since he’s looked at you like that. He’s known her since they were kids and have been at each other’s side since. You remember the first time that you met her, nervous as all hell because you knew that if she did not approve, it would be the end of your relationship. 

“You’re gonna love her Y/N.” Edwin gave you the biggest smile. “I can’t wait for my best friend and my love to finally meet.”

You smiled back at Edwin, for it was impossible not to when he looked at you like that. 

“I’m sure I will love her, but I have to say that I’m nervous to meet her. Lucy’s your best friend, this is a big deal, right next to meeting your family.”

“Don’t worry about it. You already have met my family and they adore you. She is nowhere near as loud or threatening as they are.” He grabbed your hand and gave it a quick peck. “You ready to go in?”

When the two of you finally arrived at her doorstep for the dinner and movie night, you could see the smile waver on her face when she saw your link hands. Don’t get it wrong, Lucy was nothing but polite, and you guys had bonded especially over your love of art. You couldn’t help but feel out of place looking in at this relationship that your boyfriend had. You couldn’t exactly be upset, after all, they had been in each other’s lives for years, of course, they would be close. As the months went on, you felt as though you were intruding on their relationship, not the other way around. 

Time and time again, she would call Edwin and he would go running towards her, regardless of what he was doing. If he was in the middle of practice, sleeping or even eating dinner with you. Several times. Why would this time be any different?

“She’s my best friend, Y/N. What do you expect me to do? Just leave her hanging in the middle of the night?”

Yet you have no problem leaving me. That tiny voice in your head is telling you. You shake your head knowing that if you only told Edwin that you needed him tonight, especially after the hard week that your boss has put you through, you know he would stay. Just tell him. 

“Are you not going to say anything? You know what, I don’t have time for this. I have to go. Christ, Lucy must be freaking out. I’ll be back by morning.”

You watched as he grabbed his keys and hurriedly put on a jacket. You continued to watch as he walked towards the door, towards her. 

No, you won’t be back. You couldn’t help but think that. Everyone in this situation knows that he won’t be back. That he’s only staying with you out of a sense of obligation. That he’s told you that he’s in this for the long run, and now he’s stuck in this endless circle. 

Edwin froze. Turned towards you with confusion written all over his face. “What did you say?”

Shit, shit, shit. You’ve already started, it’s now or never. You took a deep breath and kept your head down. You couldn’t bear to look at him, for you knew if you did you would lose all your strength and let this pass too.

“You won’t be back by morning. You’ll spend hours there and then text me at 1 telling me that you’re just going to spend the night at hers with a reason. A logical one, no doubt. One that will make me feel guilty that I feel the way that I do. But God, Edwin can’t you see? Haven’t you seen? How much you’ve been hurting me?”

You hear his footsteps come closer to you and hear his deep sigh.

“I’m not going through this again with you. How many times do I have to tell you, she’s my best friend? I can’t just leave her when she’s going through a tough time. She was there for me when  I needed her, and you can be damn sure I’m going to be there for her when she needs me. I’m not just gonna abandon her every time that you get insecure. If I’m telling you the truth, why do you consistently argue with me about it?” 

“I’m not saying to abandon her Edwin, I would never put you in that position. I just want you to admit that you’ve gone missing in our relationship! When was the last time that we just hung out? Just is two, having a full night together? I can tell you, it was months ago, and even then you left early because you remembered to have plans with your best friend, and God forbid you to postpone them to another time.”

“Are you really that insecure? I’m still with you, aren’t I? I’m still in our apartment most nights, share the bed with you. I’m still here with you, why are you making a big deal out of this? Sure, I’ve missed some time with you, but does it even matter? I swear you love to try and make me look like the bad guy. You don’t see me making a big deal about you hanging out with your friends?”

“Edwin those-”

He was on a roll, he wasn’t going to stop until he felt heard. “Fuck, you should probably hang out with them more since you’re being so damn clingy. Maybe she was right, I should break up with you. I don’t even know why the hell we’re even together.”

Edwin immediately froze. It felt like everything around you froze. 

“Y/N.” He took a small step forward. When you didn’t move from him, he took advantage and closed the distance that remained between you two and brought you into his arms.

“I didn’t mean to say that. I’ve been under a lot of stress and I lashed out. I love you, you know that I love you right? The band has been arguing and management is being a bitch, and I’m worried about Lucy. I’m sorry, I love you, love this relationship.” 

He just kept murmuring apologies and squeezing you. You couldn’t think. I don’t even know why the hell we’re even together.” 

Eventually, he let you go and looked at your eyes. “I’m sorry you know that right? We’re okay, right? I won’t go to Lucy’s until I know we’re okay.”

He’s still going to Lucy’s. The woman who has talked to him about leaving you. Of course, he’s still going. She’s his best friend, she was there when you weren’t. 

“We’re okay.” You gave him a small smile, despite the fact that it hurt you to do so. You couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him anymore. You would say anything as long as he left. Whether he knew it or not, this was not something that the two of you would easily recover from, if you recover from it at all. 

Edwin beamed at you. “Great! I’ll only be gone for a little, I swear I’ll be back by tonight. I love you, you know that right? I love you.” He gives you a kiss on the lips. Before he could back away, you grabbed onto him and pressed another kiss on his lips, desperate to keep this one in your memories, for who knows how long it will be till the next one.

He smiles at you before grabbing his dropped keys and jacket. He walks towards the door and looks back at you one last time. You know what he’s waiting for, after all, he’s the other half of your heart. 

“I love you too.”

He nods his head before walking out and closing the door behind him. Effectively shutting the door on this chapter of your relationship. 

You bite your bottom lip as you try to hold yourself together. Even now, he’s gone to pick up her pieces and gently put her back together. And you?

. Later. 

You just need a couple of minutes to cry and let it all out. You’ll sweep your pieces up and glue yourself together again later.